Big thank you to ki4pak, c-c, Alex, kirbyschoice, and decadenceofmysoul. I hope Danny isn't too far out of character here. As we know we've never seen him with a daughter so some of that does change parts of him.
Thank you to everyone else who is still reading and adding this to their favorites and alert lists.
Soon Wednesday rolled around and Danny dropped Anna off at Frank's as he headed into work. She spent the morning with Henry before heading out to meet Sofie and Nicky in Bensonhurst. Of course Henry wouldn't let her leave without making sure she had everything. "Pops, Pops, come on. Cell phone, ID, wallet, money, I have everything I promise," Anna said.
"Be safe," Henry said.
"I will, I promise," Anna said. Anna walked to the subway and made her way to the diner where she met up with Sofie and Nicky who Erin was just dropping off.
"Before we order, it's all on me today," Sofie said.
"Sofie, we couldn't," Anna said.
"It's fine, I just booked a new gig with this high end store on fifth ave." Sofie said.
"Are you sure?" Nicky asked.
"Absolutely," Sofie said. Then the waitress came by. After ordering Sofie looked at Anna. "So tell me about this date the other night."
"I already told you."
"No, you told me what Uncle Danny did. You didn't tell me about the actual night."
"I—" Anna started.
"Yeah, come on, Anna. Did you have fun?" Nicky added.
"Yeah, it was. Jim's real sweet and dinner was great. We talked about sports and the movie, small talk, you know, then we met up with our friends and caught a movie before we had ice cream."
"Whoa, hold up, you never said you had dinner alone with him," Nicky said.
"Does that really make a difference?"
"Yes," they both answered.
Anna stared down at the pizza that had just arrived at their table. "I don't think it does. Jim is just a friend and though he's cute, he just broke up with his girlfriend," Anna said.
"So you don't want it to become anything?" Nicky asked.
"Of course not," Anna said, biting into the deliciously, hot, cheesy pizza. Nicky and Sofie both looked at her but dropped the subject.
"What happened between you and Dorian?" Nicky asked, turning to Sofie.
"We agreed to go our separate ways," Sofie said. "He was doing less for my image after the incident and well I want to see if I can find an actual boyfriend."
"Here's to that," Nicky agreed.
"What about you, Nicky? Any cute boys in your life?" Sofie asked. The girls continued to talk over the rest of their lunch then caught the subway to Bay Ridge where they caught the movie before heading towards Park Slope.
"Oh, check out that shirt," Nicky cried looking at a shirt in the store window.
"That is so cute," Sofie agreed. "You have to try it on."
"It won't look good on me. Now on Anna, it'd be perfect," Nicky disagreed. Anna looked at the shirt and disagreed.
"It's bright green. That color just doesn't do anything for me," Anna said.
"At least try it on," Sofie goaded.
"Come on, please, Anna?" Nicky asked. Anna sighed but they went inside and got the sales lady to get the shirt in Anna's size. When she stepped out of the dressing room, Sofie sized her up. "You could pull that off. A nice skirt and it could work," Nicky said.
"Maybe, what do you think, Anna?" Sofie asked.
Anna stepped up to the mirror and looked at herself. She looked back at her cousins then disappeared into the racks. She came back with two shirts. "I'll get this one if the two of you get these two." She handed Sofie one that was bubble gum pink and Nicky one that was hot orange. The other two girls tried the shirts on then all three of them shook their heads. "But at least it's fun, right?"
"Something outside of our comfort zone. We should at least be willing to try it. The secret to rocking any shirt is being comfortable and confident," Sofie said. They looked around the store a little longer but none of them found anything they liked so they headed off for their Mani-Pedi's then made their way to Nicky's. Erin would take Sofie and Anna home after they had dinner.
That Friday Jamie called and talked to her. She wasn't happy hearing what he had to say either. "Hey," Jamie said, "I heard what happened at your dad's precinct."
"What happened?" Anna asked.
"Last Saturday. You confronted him at his precinct about what happened."
"And the only ones there were Dad and his sarge and like one other detective," Anna said.
"You broke the line."
"Uncle Jamie."
"I know that he stepped on the line with what he did and that it really wasn't right. Your dad shouldn't have had you followed but confronting him should have waited. You have to apologize to him, especially if you got him in trouble."
"But Uncle Jamie—"
"No buts, Anna."
"Sergeant Gormley said he understood why I was upset and I really don't think I—"
"Anna, enough. You went over the line, he just stepped on it. Talk to him," Jamie told her.
"Okay," Anna sighed. They talked a bit longer about random topics and after dinner that night Anna sat down with her dad. "Did I get you in trouble with Gormley for what I did on Saturday?"
"What? You mean when you confronted me? No. Not in the least. He told me to work it out with you but that's all he said," Danny said, observing his daughter.
"I was ... I felt betrayed," Anna said.
"I—" Danny cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I know that you are growing up and that having you followed probably wasn't the best idea. My dad never did that to me and I should have followed you myself if I had to. I just don't want anything to happen to you."
"I know that and I understand that." Anna stared down at her lap and impatiently brushed away tears. "It's just any line that you have firmly drawn in the concrete, I have never stepped on it or over it. The line in the concrete, I know where it is and I know better, it's the line in the sand that I love to push. I push it because I know I can. It's how I find out if it's sand or concrete. I have never given you a reason not to trust me and it hurt really bad when you had me followed. It was like a slap in the face and I know that I'm still a kid and that I may not handle things the right way but I never wanted you to take that as me being disrespectful or hateful."
"I never took it that way, Anna. I know that sometimes you lash out and part of that is because you're still a kid and part of it is because you're not over your uncle's death. Finding a way for you to deal with his death and your anger and grief over that as well as growing up is definitely one of the hardest things you're ever going to face. I want to help, Anna, but I know that sometimes the best way I can do that is to let you lash out. To let you get away with a little more than I will let Jack and Sean get away with."
"Okay, where is my dad? He should have shut me down and put me in my place more often than he let me get away with the way I've been acting."
"You're probably tired of hearing this but you are so much like me when you get angry. Lashing out is partially good for you and I get—You get more honest when you're angry," Danny said.
"So you're not upset?" Anna asked.
"No. I wish you wouldn't have come to the station and done it, but I understand where you're coming from."
"So we're okay? I mean, I'm sorry for confronting you like that, I'm just frustrated that ... I feel like you don't trust me and that hurts."
"I know and I'm trying. I just don't want anything to happen to you," Danny said. After the kids went to bed Linda sat down next to him on the couch and studied him. "What?" Danny asked.
"I don't know, it just doesn't seem like you. The whole conversation you had with Anna," Linda said. "What's gotten into you?"
"Erin and my sarge. I did step on a line. Yes, the great Danny Reagan is admitting he messed up. I don't like thinking my little girl is out there with boys I don't know or trust but we do trust her and it isn't fair for us to trust her and then follow her. Sometimes she doesn't show the best judgement like when she came to my squad to talk to me about it but I guess she feels like drastic measures are necessary at times. We want her to handle things like an adult but she's 14. Sometimes she is going to act like that and I need to try to understand that."
"Thank you for being so easy on her."
"It's hard," Danny said, wrapping her in his arms. "There are some times when I just want to put her back in her place but I think I know that if I do, she could shut down. Jamie told me that once. That if I was too hard on her that my spitfire of a little girl could completely shut down. Become an introverted, scared, cautious, shell of herself and I don't want to do that to her."
"Wow, that's unexpected."
"She is my little girl, Linda and like you said I am the detective."
"I know, I just didn't expect you to see what that could do to her." Danny smiled and held on to his wife. Linda leaned into him and welcomed the comfort.
The rest of summer flew by and between her dad's work schedule and her own babysitting schedule it wasn't that often that Anna actually saw her dad. Sure they had dinner together every Sunday and on the occasional Saturday that he was home they spent some time together but it was nothing major. In fact Anna spent more time with her brothers that summer than she did with her dad.
After a long Friday of back to school shopping, Anna was more than ready to fall into bed but of course they had to get dinner first. Linda picked up pizza and then they met Danny back at the house. Halfway through dinner Linda turned to Danny. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow? There's a Mets game on so I figured I'd relax with my boys," Danny answered.
"Before you do that, Sean needs pants for school, Anna needs a new backpack, and Jack has an eye appointment. So take your pick, the doctor or shopping?"
"Can't you take all three of them?"
"I could but you're off and need to spend some time with kids, plus one of us has to go to the store tomorrow and we can't take Anna with us," Linda told him.
"Why not?" Danny asked. He wasn't sure why she couldn't just pick up whatever she needed while she was at the store with Anna and Sean getting the rest of the school supplies.
"Because I'm picking up Anna's present, can't take her with me and ruin the surprise. If I take Sean and Anna, you'll have to pick it up after Jack's appointment. If I take Jack then I'll get it."
"Present? What did you do to earn a present?" Danny asked, looking at his daughter.
"My birthday is on Thursday," Anna said.
"It can't be," Danny said.
"It's the 26th, Dad. Labor Day is next weekend. Then school starts on Tuesday," Jack added.
"Speaking of Thursday, can I go out with some friends? Jenny, Krista, Becky, and Salem want to take me out for my birthday," Anna said, turning to her mom. "I know that Grampa will be doing the same thing he always does. Grilling out on Saturday night. He'll make burgers, dogs, and steaks then try to surprise me with a cake," Anna sighed.
"You too old for cake now?" Danny asked.
"I'm never too old for cake; I just wish he wouldn't try to surprise me. It's the same every year, please, Mom? It's the first year Salem can join us."
"Salem?" Danny asked.
"Semi-goth girl at my school. Kinda fitting name since her parents have an affinity for Salem, Massachusetts. They have a summer house there."
"As long as it's after five," Linda said. Anna was about to protest but the look on Linda's face stopped her. "Dinner or nothing Anna."
"Thanks, Mom," Anna said.
The following day, Danny reluctantly took his oldest and youngest to the store. After 20 minutes of Sean trying on pants, Danny collapsed on the bench outside the dressing room. "I always thought you were my difficult child. How hard is it to find a pair of pants?" Danny asked his oldest. Anna looked up from her phone, her backpack on her lap.
"You could always just pick a pair for him. Khaki colored, size 12 or 14 in the boys department." Danny sighed but got back up and went looking. "Sean Reagan, get your butt out here!"
Sean peaked around the door and sighed, relieved that their dad was gone, "yeah?" he asked.
"I know for a fact that the first pair you tried on was the exact same pair Mom bought you last year, that you just had to have, only in a bigger size. What gives?" Anna asked.
"The longer I take, the longer Dad spends with us. Do you really want to go home and have Dad plop down on the couch with a beer in his hand and zone in on the TV?" Anna stared at him. "You know that's what he's going to do and we won't get his attention again until supper time."
"What do you want me to do about that?" Anna asked confused.
"I don't know but eventually I'm going to run out of pants."
Anna stopped and thought for a bit. "What if I can convince him to take us for ice cream?"
"Really?"
"It might take a bit of sweet talking but I'm up for it." She smiled but Sean only stared at her.
"How much time?"
"Can I buy? Half an hour, maybe 45 minutes, depending on how slowly and convincingly we can enjoy our ice cream."
"Deal." Sean grinned then went back into the fitting room to find the three pairs he liked and soon Danny came back with three more pairs of pants and handed them to Sean.
"Hey, Dad?" Anna asked, looking up at him. "If Sean can find a couple pairs he likes and that fit will you take us for ice cream?"
"You think you two deserve ice cream?" Danny asked astounded.
"If he comes out in five minutes or less absolutely." Anna nodded quickly.
"We've already been waiting on him for 20 minutes."
"You have somewhere you'd rather be than with your kids?" Anna looked at him accusingly and he shrunk back. Sean poked his head out the door to look at him as well. Danny caught Sean's look and felt even worse.
"I didn't say that," Danny defended.
"Please, Dad?" Sean asked.
"You got three minutes," Danny said, checking his watch.
Sean closed the door and tried on the pairs his dad had brought him then put on his pair of jeans. "Kay, done," he said stepping out with three pairs of pants in his hands.
"With 30 seconds to spare, kid. You guys win. Ice cream it is. Don't tell your mom," Danny said. Anna and Sean cheered as they walked to the check out. All through their time at the ice cream place, Anna sat back and watched Sean and her dad converse. The smile lighting up Sean's face warmed her heart and she was glad that he was enjoying it. As they drove home an hour later, Anna noticed that Sean was absorbed in his game in the back seat so she turned to her dad.
"Thanks," she said.
"For what?" Danny asked, glancing at her.
"Spending time interested in Sean," Anna told him. "I know you're missing the Mets game but he's happy."
"I always spend time with him."
"No, you spend time practicing with him and Jack or teaching him and Jack something or watching the game with them, but it's never you and Sean one on one. He got that today and he really liked that."
"Buddy," Danny said, reaching in the backseat and shaking Sean's knee. Sean paused the game and looked up. "Do you really think I don't spend enough time with you one on one?"
"I don't know. Sometimes it feels like the only times you're around is when Anna's in trouble or you're spending time with all of us. I get it. Days off are rare for you and you just want to make sure all of us get your attention," Sean explained.
"But you feel left out?" Danny asked.
"Not left out, just like one on one time isn't important."
"I see," Danny said. After dinner that night Danny had a similar conversation with Jack and it took a few minutes and a lot of pushing but Jack finally admitted the same. While part of Danny was glad his kids understood how important his job was, he was disappointed he hadn't done a better job of trying to make sure they had enough time with him too. After his boys went to bed, Danny sat down with Anna. "How are you doing?" Danny asked.
"I'm fine, Dad," Anna answered absorbed in her mobile game.
"Look at me," Danny said. Anna paused the game and looked up at her dad. Danny, not taking any chances, took the device from her then studied her face. "I know it's been a few months since we got Joe's killer and made him pay. I want to know how you're doing. Really."
"I thought it would help to get justice and know that this guy is truly off the streets and can't hurt another good cop, but deep down I know that it never really bothered me that these guys never paid. I mean it did but that wasn't the top most bothersome thing. I think what hurt the most, what still hurts is that everyone seems to be so okay about Joe except me and it feels like they think I'm being a baby about it."
"No one thinks that. We all know that you and Jamie were closer to Joe than anyone in the family and it hit the two of you especially hard when he was killed. How can I help?"
"I don't that you can. I don't know how to be the me that Joe loved and move on."
"Maybe you can't and no one's asking you to be. We, all of us, want you to understand it's not your fault and we don't blame you. I may not have been as close to Joe but I know that he'd want you to be happy and to try to enjoy life. Joe loved seeing you happy and laughing. To be honest, I miss your smile."
Anna smiled sadly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. If you ever want to talk, your mom and I will listen. All you have to do is ask. You know who else would listen?" Anna shook her head. "Your uncle Jamie. I don't want the two of you to only bond over Joe, but I do want the two of you to strengthen the bond you do have. Joe would want that too. Even if he was still alive, with Jamie back in the city full time, Joe would want you to share as much as your life as you did with him, with Jamie. He's your uncle too, Joe would tell you, he wants to be just as happy and supportive of you."
"Thanks, Dad," Anna said. She snuggled into his side and Danny wrapped his arms around her holding her tight. "It's not a bad thing to be happy, right? It's not—It doesn't insult his memory?"
"Not at all. He would want you to be happy," Danny said as Anna sat back up. Over the next few days Anna thought over what her father had said. She wished she knew how to shut off the anger and grief she was still feeling. Just when she thought she'd never figure it out she got some advice from an unexpected place.
For all of you who have had enough of Anna's attitude, I do hope you stick in there for one more chapter. I promise next chapter it will change and she'll hopefully be more tolerable. Also I'm not trying to make Anna a hateful, insolent, disrespectful, or angry child. She's 14 and she has lost someone she was deeply close to. When you experience that kind of death, when that lifeline is pulled so suddenly from you, sometimes lashing out is the only way you know how to react. She doesn't quite know how to cope with it and is doing the best she can.
So can someone tell me what it is about this chapter? It's probably the most read/revisited chapter of the story. Is it because Danny and Anna spend the most of the chapter together? Or is it something else.