AN: but why is the sparkles emoji the only one ffnet accepts, why sparkles specifically lmao

i love that

"This can't be fucking happening," Killua muttered to himself, lying awake and staring directly at his ceiling. "I refuse."

Why did he have a crush on Gon?! He barely knew the guy! Killua had gone his entire life without EVER liking ANYONE! What was this?! Why Gon of all people?! Killua barely knew him, anyways! They'd hung out all of one time!

"Why?" Killua whined to himself, "Why would my stupid brain pick now of all times to decide to finally like someone?"

The silver haired young man rolled over in his bed, and stared out the window through the gap in his curtains. It was early morning, and the outside world was still covered in snow. The roads had been salted, unfortunately, so Killua had to go back to work today.

"It must be a fluke," he muttered as he rolled out of bed. "It was just a spur of the moment thing. My brain decided to remind me that I'm gay, and that's all there is to it! I do not have a crush on Gon, and I can continue having my first best friend without any extra baggage."

Killua opened his phone as he grumped into his kitchen for a glass of water (in replacement of actual food and coffee, since he'd sacrificed those things to buy Alluka's present). However, when he opened his phone he was alarmed to discover that there was no Snapchat notification from Gon.

What?

That was weird. Killua assumed that it was just some sort of glitch. He had notifications from Alluka, Ikalgo, Chrollo, and Palm. Gon's was probably buried beneath the others. A furrow growing between his eyebrows, Killua opened Snapchat to inspect his chat history.

Sure enough, Gon had left him on opened.

It was the goodnight picture Killua had sent to him.

I'm confused. Why didn't he send me a good morning message? He always does, ever since the first day I gave him my Snap. He's constantly bugging me on this app, so why is he stopping all of a sudden?

Oh my god, was the picture I sent last night weird?

Killua tried and failed to reopen the last Snap he'd sent. It was too late, the picture was already deleted and he hadn't saved it to his memories. Killua's heart started to pump in his chest. His face flushed with a sudden onset of panic. Why hadn't Gon messaged him?

Does he not like me anymore?

But I thought he said we were best friends?

Killua stood in the center of his kitchen, biting his lip and staring down at his phone screen. Why was he having this strong of a reaction? There were a multitude of perfectly normal reasons why Gon wouldn't have sent the message.

He could have slept in.

He could have forgotten to plug in his phone.

Maybe he had a lot of shit going on.

Hell, maybe whatever job he had was keeping him occupied into the unholy hours of the morning.

There were so many unalarming reasons… but still. Killua felt almost betrayed. He felt sad and dejected. Had he seriously been leaning that heavily on Gon's stupid good morning messages? Did he really care this much about what Gon thought about him?

Killua frowned at himself, and turned his phone off in a huff.

"Stupid brain," he muttered to himself, "Stupid Gon. I don't need a 'good morning' from some random idiot to start my day. I'm a responsible, independent adult! I don't need him. It doesn't matter! I'll move on with my life, because there are more important things for me to worry about than if this random guy has iced me or not!"

Killua threw on his work clothes, determined not to care. But he did care. He cared a lot.

And that's what annoyed him.

He messily tied the strings of his apron around his waist, and slammed his green baseball cap over his hair. Killua snatched his keys out of their jar, and made his way to his car. He pretended that he wasn't sad, and pretended that he wasn't checking his phone every five seconds to see if Gon had messaged him yet.

What is my problem.

A broody mood hanging over him like a stormcloud, Killua flung the side door of his complex open and tramped his way through the slushy parking lot. He sifted through his impressive collection of keychains for his car key, and when he glanced up from his quick hunting trip his heart just about stopped in his chest.

"Killua!" Gon exclaimed happily, throwing his arms into the air. He'd parked his motorcycle next to Killua's car, and was standing out in the snow with two helmets in his hands.

The silver haired boy startled, just about dropping his keys. However, he was too damned happy to see the guy to be pissed off at him for scaring the shit out of him.

"Gon?" Killua sputtered, his voice sounding stupid and hopeful.

"Good morning!" the excitable guy cheered, hurrying over to Killua and kicking his heels on the way. He handed a helmet to Killua and was grinning so big that Killua swore he was warming the air by several degrees.

"What are you doing here?" Killua asked, utterly taken aback. What's this feeling? It's like my entire body is glowing. I got so happy when I saw him… fuck. I'm hopeless. "Why didn't you Snap me this morning?" I thought you'd gotten sick of me…

"I knew you were working all day today, and I wanted to see you again! So I decided to surprise you and drive you to work!" Gon declared, clearly proud of himself. "I'm really sorry I didn't message you this morning, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from ruining the surprise if I did!"

Killua blinked several times, and then burst out laughing. "You're such an idiot." Fuck. There's no denying it.

"Yeah, probably," Gon chuckled as he and Killua walked towards Tsubone the Motorcycle.

"And why should I subject myself to your freaky-ass driving this early in the morning?" Killua teased, jumping at any excuse to be difficult. It was so easy to bug Gon, he was so gullible. And it was kinda really adorable…

I like Gon.

God fucking dammit–

"I can't let you drive alone in these conditions!" Gon declared, glancing over his shoulder at Killua with those earnest amber eyes. "They salted the roads but it's still dangerous."

Killua would be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little endeared by Gon's most recent stunt.

"You're really that dedicated to driving me to work?" Killua snorted.

"Yup!" Gon chirped, straddling his motorcycle and pulling the helmet over his head.

Killua chuckled and shook his head, "I can't believe I associate with you." He exchanged his work hat for Gon's spare helmet, and climbed onto the motorcycle after him. After riding a couple of times, Killua liked to consider himself somewhat of an expert on sitting behind Gon on a motorcycle.

"You mind if I play some music?" Gon asked as he revved up the engine.

"No," Killua answered, not thinking much of it. He was a little curious about where Gon was hiding speakers though.

"Yay!" Gon cheered, before flipping a switch on his dashboard and then pulling out his phone.

Killua, his arms already looped around Gon's waist, leaned his chin on the raven's shoulder to see what he was putting on. Being this close to Gon made his insides feel all warm. Killua kind of liked it, actually… The silver haired boy watched, bemused, as Gon scrolled through at least fifty different playlists - all of them with creative names and an unnecessary amount of emojis in the titles.

"There it is!" Gon cheered, selecting a playlist and checking to be sure his speakers were connected.

Killua narrowed his eyes, reading the name of this playlist.

It was called: "Killua's Yule-ogy✨"

"Gon, what the fuck is this?"

"It's just music, Killua," he answered in a mask of false innocence.

"If you're playing Christmas music I'm going to throw you into oncoming traffic."

Gon looked over his shoulder at Killua, and then kept looking at him as he pressed play and WHAM!'s "Last Christmas" started blasting from the speakers.

"Happy Christmas."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Killua muttered.

Gon burst out laughing, and revved the gas. Tsubone the Motorcycle shot out of the parking lot, and Killua was stuck riding with stupid Gon and his stupid music.

"I should have known you had fucking ulterior motives!" Killua yelled, slapping Gon's shoulder as they whizzed down the street. Gon wove in and out of cars, and cheered every time he beat a yellow light.

"I'm spreading Christmas cheer!" Gon cackled as he took a hard right. Killua gasped in horror and hunched over behind him as they leaned frighteningly sideways. This only served to amuse Gon further.

"What you're spreading is Christmas fear," Killua snapped. "Now this stupid fucking song will be conditioned in my mind to mean death in a traffic accident!"

"Come on, I'm a great driver!" Gon laughed, punctuating his words by cutting dangerously close in between two cars. "Enjoy the music, Killua! Everyone snows that music is the best Christmas tree-dition!"

Killua punched Gon in the back of his helmet. "I hate you."

…

"Can I at least get a thank-yule?"

"I am legitimately going to murder you," Killua grumbled as he stomped through Beanz's front door with Gon in tow.

"Don't you mean myrrh-der?"

Killua whipped around on his heel and held his hat up and ready to slap the shit out of Gon with. The raven squealed and flinched, still laughing like a madman. "I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" Gon choked out.

"Good," Killua snapped, before turning back around and making his way to the counter. Gon tagged along at his heels, skipping about like an excitable puppy.

"I never meant to ofrend-you–"

"Wrong holiday!" Killua interjected. Gon was clearly very proud of the title of his god-awful playlist, and now he wouldn't stop making puns. Killua marched behind the counter and into the back to clock in. Gon followed him the whole way, giving the confused Ikalgo and Palm a cheerful wave as he followed Killua into the kitchen.

"When do you get off?" Gon asked, hovering at Killua's shoulder with that stupid grin plastered all over his face.

"At four, for once," Killua sighed.

"Yay!" Gon cheered, "We should go to the gym together after you're done with work!"

"Hell no!" Killua argued, pressing his thumb to the fingerprint machine.

Gon watched as the machine clocked Killua in, and then gasped in delight when the little screen burst with red and green confetti. "Oh my goodness! That's so cute!"

"Cute is one word for it," Killua grumbled, quickly pushing Gon out of the back before Leorio and Zepile could draw him into a conversation that would likely last for half an hour and embarrass the living hell out of Killua.

"So I'll be back to pick you up at four?" Gon clarified, not disheartened in the slightest by Killua's rush to get him the fuck out.

"Yup, preferably 3:55. I sneak out early when I can."

"You wanna watch a movie afterwards? Oo! Didn't they freeze the pond on campus? We can go skating! Knuckle said–"

"-Anything that Knuckle endorses is not something I want any part in," Killua interrupted. He was struggling to get Gon out before Ikalgo and Palm could latch on. Now that would be the worst case scenario–

"Hey! I've never met you before!"

Dammit–

Ikalgo hurried over to talk to Gon, catching him right before Killua could squirrel him away. Palm had glanced up from her phone and was watching with piqued interest as Ikalgo stepped up to Killua and his mysterious new friend.

"My name's Ikalgo!" the red haired male declared, holding his hand out.

"I'm Gon! It's ice to meet you–"

Killua elbowed him in the stomach.

"Oh, so you're Gon?" asked Leorio as he descended from the kitchen to rain hell upon Killua's life.

"It's great to finally meet you!" Ikalgo declared as he shook Gon's hand.

"Yes," Palm added as she slinked over to make herself involved. "We've heard all about you from Killua. My name is Palm."

"I'm Gon!" the raven repeated, shaking hands with Palm, then Leorio, and then Zepile, who'd crawled out of his office-cave to join the crowing crowd behind the counter. "You've heard about me from Killua?" he asked, shooting the shorter male a lopsided smile.

Killua glared, feeling his face starting to heat up. "Don't listen to her, she's just a stupid hoe."

"Killua!" Gon gasped in unison with Zepile.

The boy in question rolled his eyes, continuing his attempts to bust Gon out of Beanz before his sanity could be mortally wounded.

Palm rolled her eyes and flipped Killua off, more than used to his bitchy attitude.

"Are you two friends?" Zepile asked, "It's not every day that Killua tolerates someone other than Alluka."

"Oh shut up, old man, you're one to talk," Killua retorted, "The only bitch you can pull is Leorio!"

"Excuse you?!" Leorio yelled. "I pull plenty of bitches!"

"But you can't seem to pull Kurapika~" Palm teased.

Killua, Palm, Leorio, and Zepile quickly dissolved into a bickering match. Leaving Gon and Ikalgo to their own devices.

"What brings you to our fine establishment?" Ikalgo joked, leaning on the counter and smiling up at Gon while his four coworkers hovered on the edge of a fistfight behind him.

"I drove Killua to work!" Gon announced, clearly proud of himself.

"Oh?" Ikalgo asked, "Is his car broken down or something?"

"Nope! I just wanted to drive him."

"And he agreed?!"

"Yup!"

"Damn," Ikalgo chuckled, "Killua must really like you."

"Really?" Gon asked, his cheeks turning a hint of pink and his eyes gaining light.

"Yeah, he's super anti-social, so it's a miracle he puts up with you at all!"

"Oh. I'm glad he likes me then."

"No kidding!" Ikalgo laughed. "But in all seriousness, I'm so psyched that the two of you are buddies! Thanks for making him touch grass yesterday."

Gon laughed, "It was my pleasure! Killua's a lot of fun!"

"He's an acquired taste," Ikalgo joked, "It seems you've dragged him out of his shell recently. Killua said you go to Yorknew?"

"Yup!" Gon chirped, "I'm a software major! What about you?"

"Law! Me and Killua are gonna be lawyer buddies!"

"That's so cool!" Gon gushed, "I'm going into video game development, but I've gotta get my major before I'll be able to be hired anywhere."

"That's totally sick, dude!" Ikalgo complimented. "What made you choose that field?"

"I'd always loved video games growing up," Gon answered, "And that was my dad's job so I wanted to follow in his footsteps."

"That's literally so awesome, what's your favorite game?"

"Probably Greed Island," Gon answered, almost exasperatedly.

"Literally same!" Ikalgo gasped. "What quest are you playing right now?"

"I beat Heaven's Arena a while back, so I'm working on beating the Christmas update right now!" Gon said, the cheer back in his voice.

"You beat Heaven's Arena?!" Ikalgo all but yelled. "How?! Killua's on floor 149, but I've been on floor 96 for like months!"

"Killua plays Greed Island?" Gon asked, his eyes getting that light in them again.

"Yeah! He's a total fanatic!" Ikalgo laughed, "It's funny because he used to make fun of me for playing it. Then I forced him to play and he got hooked and used my consul so much that I had to help him buy and set up his own! Everything he knows he learned from me," Ikalgo bragged.

"That sounds like him," Gon said, a soft smile spreading across his face as he glanced over at Killua.

Ikalgo caught onto this immediately.

"Hey, Gon! I've got a great idea!" the dark skinned boy declared, doing his best to keep his grin from looking too mischievous.

"Hm?" Gon asked, moving his attention from Killua back to Ikalgo.

Killua heard Ikalgo's declaration - just as intended - and turned from the bickering match to see what horrible scheme was brewing this time.

"You're a super chill dude," Ikalgo explained, "I'm having a chill party on Friday, you wanna come?"

Killua immediately injected himself into the conversation. "What?!" he asked.

"Oo! That sounds fun!" Gon gasped, grinning and giving an excited little hop.

"You'll be there?" Ikalgo asked with a grin.

"Yup!" Gon declared. "Where is it?"

"It's at my place!"

"Oh! That's perfect! I know where that is!" Gon turned to face Killua, "Are you coming?" he asked.

Killua blinked, "Uh, yeah, of course I'm going!"

"It's because I'm throwing it," Ikalgo announced jovially as he slung his arm around Killua's shoulders.

"Yeah, and the fact that it's a work party?!" Killua retorted. "Gon doesn't work here!" Oh my god. This is already bad enough, if Gon comes to that stupid fucking party then it will be a total disaster! I should have just left him outside! This is terrible! Gon's gonna be scared away by all the psychos I work with!

"No, Gon can come! He's at work right now, isn't he?" Ikalgo laughed.

Killua opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by Leorio.

"I think this is a great idea!" the lanky man exclaimed with a lopsided grin. "He's your friend, right? Maybe you'll have fun for once if Gon's there!"

Gon gasped, his eyes glittering, "Yeah! You'll have fun, Killua, I promise! Is it a Christmas party?!"

"Of course it is! Who do you take me for?" Ikalgo cackled.

"Yay!" Gon cheered, throwing his hands into the air. "I can't wait! Thanks for inviting me!"

"Any time, dude! Any friend of Killua's is a friend of mine!" Ikalgo said as he reached up to wrap his other arm around Gon's shoulders.

…

"I know what you're planning. I do not condone this behavior."

Ikalgo snickered, "I don't know what you're talking about~"

Killua groaned and bonked his head on the drive through window. He'd been antsy his whole shift! And all because of his stupid coworkers. Beanz had a Christmas party every year, and Ikalgo always forced Killua to come because it would be "fun." The parties were always pretty fun, but not because of the Christmas part. It was because gathering every crew member from Beanz in one location at one given time would inevitably spark chaos.

And now Gon would be coming to one of those parties!

Killua hated this! As he's said, if Gon came to the work party, then he'd be scared away by all Killua's psycho work friends! He knew for a fact that Palm had every intention of both scaring Gon away and embarrassing the fucking shit out of Killua.

Either that…

Or they'd all try to get Gon and Killua to hook up.

Which would be even more embarrassing!

Now that Killua knew he liked Gon, he needed to keep anyone from knowing! Especially Gon himself! It was just… the two of them were friends, and Killua valued Gon's friendship a whole lot. They hadn't known each other for that long, but Gon's presence in Killua's life was not something that he wanted to give up.

He looked forward to messaging him, and he looked forward to seeing him in person. Gon had startled him this morning by showing up to drive him to work, but it had made Killua feel so happy and special. Even if it was just a strictly friendly gesture…

No one had ever gone so out of their way to befriend him before.

Killua had tried with all his might to stop Gon from befriending him, but here they were. Closer than ever. Gon was just… he was so… light. It was like he glowed. Killua couldn't help but follow him around. He wanted to see more of that light, maybe touch it for himself. Gon was so alluring, and Killua was being reeled closer and closer by the day.

I don't want my feelings to get in the way of our friendship. I've never had a close friend like Gon before. I've never gotten along so well with someone. My friendships with Leorio and Palm revolve around bullying each other. Kurapika and Zepile are my work parents. Ikalgo and Chrollo are really close friends of mine, but… It's hard to explain, but this relationship with Gon feels so much bigger and more meaningful than any other friendships I've had.

I don't want to lose it because of unrequited love.

Like I've been reminding myself ever since that night, I'm the only one who remembers the kiss. I'm the only one who feels this way. Gon just wants to be my friend. I don't need him as anything more than that… I'll be grateful for what he's already given me.

Unfortunately for Killua, everyone in his life had a strange obsession with trying to get him a boyfriend.

"So, Gon was cute," Palm said slyly. Business had finally slowed down for the afternoon, and Palm was free to loiter with Ikalgo and Killua in the drive through.

"Stop it," Killua commanded.

"He's Zushi's roommate, isn't he?" Palm continued, a wicked grin plastering over her face. "The one you hated with a passion?"

"I know what you're trying to do, and I want no part in it," Killua snapped.

"Who would have thought the two of you would get so close?" Palm mused, leaning against the counter and tapping her finger on her chin. "I would have thought he'd be scared away by your bitchy attitude by now, but it seems he can't get enough."

Killua glared down at his phone, doing all in his power to ignore Palm.

"How'd you two get so close?" Ikalgo asked innocently, he wasn't devious like Palm. "Last I heard you were having a fit over an Instagram picture!"

"It's nothing special," Killua mumbled. "We kept running into each other in public, and eventually started hanging out on purpose."

"Is Gon the guy you've been talking to obsessively?" Palm asked with a smirk.

Killua glared at her from over her phone… currently in the middle of Snapchatting Gon. "There's no obsession! You're exaggerating!"

"He is!" Palm squealed, clapping her hands. "You two will be so cute together!"

Killua's face turned a bright red, "It's not like that! We're just friends, god! You and Alluka have issues!"

"If Alluka agrees with me then it's decided fate," Palm sighed, grinning wickedly as she tapped away at her phone… likely ratting Killua out for driving to work with Gon.

Sure enough, Killua's phone buzzed with several consecutive texts from Alluka.

"BROTHER!

You and Gon have been hanging out?! And you didn't tell me?!

He drove you to work today?!

AND YOU INVITED HIM TO YOUR WORK PARTY?!"

Killua gasped, and shot a steely glare Palm's way. The tall woman just wiggled her fingers and grinned.

"i did not invite him to my work party!

that was Ikalgo, not me! don't listen to a word Palm says! she's just a stupid hoe!"

Palm sensed Killua's insult, and swiftly shot him the bird. Killua returned the gesture, with pleasure.

A: "Brother I'm so happy for you!

I knew you and Gon would love each other!"

K: "i do not love anyone! Stop reading into things!"

A: "My big brother finally has a friend"

K: "i already had friends! me and Gon hung out literally one time!"

A: "So you admit that Gon is your soulmate?!"

K: "what?! no!"

A: "He drove you to work! He's literally perfect

K: "stop."

A: "Are you two hanging out again after work?!"

K: "...and what if we are"

A: "IHGWTEFOJKMDSLEGTJINFWOKP"

Killua glared over at Palm. "Do you see what you've done?"

"I do," she smirked, "And I couldn't be more proud of myself."