At precisely twelve o'clock on the dot Killua lugged his ass across town to Alluka's apartment. He'd spent the morning playing Greed Island to try and get the edge off his anxiety. Any time his mind would drift his thoughts would pinpoint on Gon.
This was very bad. Killua couldn't stop thinking about him! Him and his stupid mistletoe obsession havin' ass! It seemed that friendship was effectively off the table. Because NOPE, Killua's gayness had effectively taken the wheel.
He kept thinking about Gon's stupid smile, his stupid pretty eyes, and the stupid way he looked at Killua like he was the only person in the world. He couldn't stop recalling Gon's kiss… and thinking about how much he wanted to do it again. Then he'd remember the warmth of Gon's chest when they'd stuffed themselves into the water closet, and Killua's heart would pump in his chest.
So much for having friends, Killua thought dramatically to himself. I can NEVER see Gon again. Because if I do I won't be able to stop blushing, and then he'll know and then he'll hate me.
Killua marched up to Alluka's door and rapped on the knocker. He glared at the garland wreath framing the peephole. It was decorated with velvet bows and glitter-infested pine cones. Absolutely disgusting. He could practically smell the yuletide where it festered in Alluka's home like the persistent stench of a corpse.
"I'm coming!" came a cheerful cry from the inside.
Killua rolled his eyes and cocked a hip. Just the thought of his sister and Zushi being locked up in the same apartment made his stomach turn. It was a good thing Killua was here to defend her virginity! God only knew what terrible fuck-boy things Zushi was thinking about right now.
The door swung open in a flash, making the silver bells on the wreath scream in agony. Alluka stood in the doorframe, a wild grin plastered all over her face and the most hideous dress Killua had ever seen. It was all red with a golden buckled belt and faux fur on the sleeves. Not to mention the literal Santa hat she was wearing. Killua swallowed his vomit.
"Brother! How are you?" Alluka cheered, giving an excited little hop.
Killua quirked a brow, where was her patented hug? "Alive," he drawled, and stepped through the doorway to collect his much-needed embrace.
The second he stepped inside and opened his arms, Alluka's grin turned devious and she stopped Killua with a palm to his chest. "Ooooo, brotherrrrrr," she taunted.
Killua's nose wrinkled. He smelled mischief.
Alluka pointed to the ceiling above their heads, and Killua flicked his eyes up in an impending doom. As he should have fucking suspected, Alluka had hung a mistletoe over the doorstep.
Killua glared at his sister, betrayal in his eyes.
Alluka just cackled like the madwoman she was.
Killua begrudgingly leaned down and planted a spiteful kiss on her cheek.
"Aw, that's so cute!" came a familiar pussy-sounding voice. "Hello, Killua!"
Killua's eyes snapped to the intruder, and found Zushi where he'd migrated to stand at Alluka's shoulder. He was wearing a matching dress and hat, and his nose was covered in cookie batter. Killua's lip twitched up at the corner.
Yeah. Total fuck-boy material.
"Ah! Now you have to kiss Zushi too!" Alluka cheered. She grabbed Zushi's shoulders and swapped their spots, placing her boyfriend in her brother's awaiting arms. Killua's jaw dropped as he glared at his sister in disbelief.
She smirked at him, "Come on, you can't break the rules you know~"
Alluka watched triumphantly as Killua's cheeks tinted pink. The memory of Gon's two kisses flashed across his mind's eye in quick succession. His stomach gave a spectacular flip. Dammit, why did Alluka have to torture him like this?!
"Uh, you don't have to haha–" Zushi sputtered awkwardly, only to shut up with a fearful squeak when Killua sent him a murderous glare. The shorter boy's shoulders drew up to his ears, he tried to run away and hide behind Alluka but Killua's hands clamped around his shoulders and kept him trapped.
Killua flicked his gaze to his smug, devil of a sister. Spite boiled like magma in his gut, fine if she wanted to play it that way. Frustration over his reaction to Gon's kiss fresh on his mind like a sour taste in the back of his throat, Killua glared down his nose at Zushi. Every other time he'd been under a mistletoe he'd been reduced to a sputtering, lovestruck fool. Stupid mistletoe, thinking it could get the better of Killua! It liked to make him kiss dudes, then fine! He'd show it he didn't give a damn!
With that (and also wanting to prove to himself that it was just kissing in general and not Gon in particular that made him weak in the knees), Killua leaned down and kissed Zushi's unsuspecting lips. Alluka's jaw hit the floor, and Zushi's face turned bright red.
Killua closed his eyes, and forced himself to think about those soft lips. The skin of Zushi's nose pressed against his. The sharp inhale of breath from Zushi when their lips connected.
Where were the fireworks? It was his stomach's cue, why wasn't it playing musical chairs? Why wasn't his pulse thundering in his ears?
Frustration singed the space between Killua's shoulder blades.
He slid his tongue against the crease in Zushi's lips, startling the boy so bad that he gasped and let Killua in. Zushi tasted like cookie batter and honeycomb chapstick. Killua licked across his tongue, determined to find that electric shock rushing up his spine.
But there was nothing. His toes didn't curl. His cheeks didn't even prickle with color.
Gon had stolen Killua's first and second kiss under the mistletoe at Ikalgo's door, and Killua's first make-out was with his sister's boyfriend out of spite. But he didn't feel the same fluttery sensation in his chest, the same excitement. He felt nothing but disappointment that he was kissing Zushi instead of Gon.
Defeat stung like a bitch.
Killua broke the kiss with a lazy pop of suction. He wiped the back of his sleeve across his mouth, and left Zushi in bi-panic as he made his way to the kitchen to steal Alluka's chocolate milk.
Alluka stared from Zushi to her brother's retreating form and back again. She shook herself out of her stupor and latched onto her boyfriend's arm with an excited squeal. "Oh my god! I can't believe that just happened!"
Killua huffed in exasperation as Alluka (and a paralyzed Zushi) followed him into the kitchen. He tossed his keys on the counter and threw open Alluka's boujee assed Frigidaire.
"Isn't my brother the hottest guy you've ever kissed?!" Alluka demanded with a wicked grin, shaking Zushi back and forth.
The poor kid just brushed his fingers across his lips and whimpered an overwhelmed: "Y– yeah, I– I guess."
Killua glanced over his shoulder at Zushi, who was still blushing like a bitch and staring at him like he was the antichrist. The brunette jumped out of his skin when Killua suddenly snapped his head in his direction. He frantically averted his gaze. Killua smirked in satisfaction when he watched Zushi's blush crawl down his neck.
"What was it like?!" Alluka demanded, "Is Killua a better kisser than me?!"
"Um– I– I don't know–"
Killua tuned out his sister's interrogation with a grumble. He filled a wine glass with chocolate flavored soy milk and swirled it like a middle aged housewife. He dramatically downed the first glass in one gulp, gasping like it was hard liquor before filling himself another generous helping.
Alluka's kitchen island was littered with the biggest mess Killua had ever laid eyes on. There was flour coating every surface, several broken egg shells haphazardly wrapped up in paper towels, and a messy mixing bowl filled with a test-batch of Pinterest-hailing cookie batter.
Cheerful Christmas pop-music played from the built-in speakers sprinkled across her ceiling. Ariana Grande whined about fucking Santa or some shit while a bratty kid with horrendously chapped lips complained about his bed-wetting cousin on the television in the background.
Alluka's apartment was more decorated than Macey's, with everything from decorative candles to tacky nativity scenes. Killua glared at the manger placed between the industrial sugar jar and Alluka's cutting board collection. He flipped the ugly baby off in proper atheist fashion.
"Killua," Alluka scolded from the other side of the island. "Apologize to Jesus."
"He can fuck himself like his mother did," Killua smirked.
Alluka covered Zushi's Baptist ears and shook her head at Killua in disappointment.
"Don't worry, Zushi," Alluka cooed, "We'll get Killua back soon enough."
"What was that?" Killua asked.
"Oh, nothing!" Alluka chirped.
Killua rolled his eyes, already in a piss-poor mood. Not only did he have to be around Zushi, but Alluka's Christmas hellscape was giving him a headache. If Alluka tried to put him in one of those god-awful dresses then he'd see himself out the door.
He glared into his glass of milk. It seemed there was no use being in denial about his feelings for Gon. He'd made out with a dude outside of his maladaptive daydreams and all he could think about was that spikey-haired idiot.
Even now his chest was buzzing with a longing to see the guy… His phone burned in his pocket, he itched to open Snapchat or his messages or anything. Hell, he'd even take Gon's corny Instagram story at this point. His life had been obstructed with nothing but Gon for weeks on end at this point.
It felt like he was going cold turkey.
However, this was for the best. He couldn't have Gon finding out about all his messy feelings. His pride couldn't take it. Killua knew that if he saw Gon right now, his brain would refuse to function and he'd be reduced to a sputtering dumb-ass. At first this stupid crush business had been nothing but a fluffy feeling in his chest and an excitement whenever Gon's name would pop up in his notifications.
But now something had changed. His skin felt hot whenever Gon would look his way, and sparks would fly whenever their shoulders brushed on the sidewalk. Gon's first kiss had felt like a warm summer breeze, but the second had felt like a bolt of lightning.
He'd completely frozen up when he'd seen what was coming, but the moment Gon's lips hit his it had been like Killua was drowning in sudden need… a need to tangle his hands in Gon's hair and lock them back inside that damn closet. Now every time Killua so much as thought Gon's name his heart would begin to pound and his cheeks would flush with color.
Something inside him had shifted, and Killua did not want to know what that shift entailed.
And the worst thing about it? When Gon had kissed him the second time, Killua hadn't just stood there like a fool. Oh no. He'd kissed him back.
That was the reason why Killua could never see him again.
The cheerful ring of Alluka's doorbell echoed through the apartment.
Killua glanced over at his sister, waiting for her to go get the door. Alluka's cornflower eyes were wide with sudden excitement. Killua quirked a silver brow. He sensed the presence of something troublesome.
"It's DoorDash!" Alluka gasped suddenly, looping her arm through Zushi's elbow. "Killuwa, bro-for?" she batted her midnight lashes. "Can you pwease ans-wer the doowr for sissy?"
Killua gave a fat eye roll, "Why can't you get off your ass and do it?"
"Because the big scawy DoowrDash man will undwess me wiff his eyes," Alluka offered up, still talking in that stupid voice.
Killua's eyebrow twitched. Any threat to his sister's safety set his big-brother instincts off like a tornado siren. He launched off the counter and stomped to the door, "I'll kick him in the balls," he growled.
Alluka and Zushi dissolved into hushed giggles the second Killua turned away from them. They flapped their hands and motioned each other to stay quiet.
"How long has this perv been giving you trouble?" Killua demanded as he stomped through the foyer.
"Since a couple days after Thanksgiving," Alluka called from the kitchen, making Zushi wheeze.
"That long?!" Killua exclaimed, "Why didn't you get me sooner?! I'll kill him." The silver haired boy marched up to the door, fuming with testosterone and brotherly rage. He clenched a fist, fully prepared to tear this guy limb from limb. You don't mess with a gay!
Killua ripped the door open, ready to commit a murder. "Who the fuck do you think you–"
There, standing on the threshold of Alluka's door with his hand raised to knock.
Was Gon fucking Freecss.
The moment their eyes met, Killua felt the mistletoe's maniacal laughter.
"...Are," Killua choked out.
It was Gon.
Gon with his warm skin and those shocking, fire colored eyes. His hair was still wet from the shower, and it hung in soft, dripping waves into his eyes. He was wearing a leather jacket(!) pulled over a purple, Ghost, band t-shirt (that shit hopped straight out'a Hot Topic), with beat up, smokey colored jeans and tattered Docs to match. His motorcycle helmet was slung under his arm, and Killua suddenly felt like a troll in his patterned pajama pants and stolen (from Alluka's closet) LuluLemon hoodie.
Those russet orange eyes widened a degree when they met a panic-stricken gaze of navy blue. Killua just about had a stroke when Gon's cheeks flushed a faint pink.
"Killua," Gon sputtered, still startled from the silver haired boy's violent entrance.
Right on cue, Killua's face turned redder than Taylor Swift's lipstick.
has stopped working.
The first thing on Killua's mind when he saw Gon was, naturally, the literal video of them kissing that was currently going viral on Tik Tok. His eyes snapped upwards to the mistletoe lurking over his head. Gon followed Killua's gaze, and you best believe that Killua's very life flashed before his eyes the moment Gon saw Alluka's trap.
Killua's first coherent thought after Gon showed up at the door: sHit–
Killua's first coherent sentence after Gon showed up at the door: "Oh, absolutely not."
With the speed of a vengeful god, Killua grabbed Gon by the hand and yanked him through the door and out from under the mistletoe. Right from the frying pan to the fire, because now Gon and Killua had just stumbled hand-in-hand into the kitchen, where Alluka and Zushi were waiting with camera's drawn.
"Caught in 4k!" Alluka screamed.
Killua looked at Gon and Gon looked at Killua.
They dropped each other's hands and were three feet apart in under a millisecond.
Killua's heart thumped like wardrums in his chest. Why was Gon acting so weird?! Was Killua being weird– Who is he kidding, of course Killua's being weird. But why was Gon acting weird right alongside him?!
"Hehehehe," Alluka cackled, "Nice try. I'm keeping this for blackmail!"
Killua scoffed, though he wasn't sure what he thought he was going to say.
"Don't make out with my boyfriend again, brother," Alluka threatened, dangling the phone between two fingers.
Gon's brows drew together, "What–"
"-It's nothing!" Killua and Zushi exclaimed in unison.
Gon blinked several times, his eyes darting between Killua and Zushi as a pursed expression bloomed across his face.
Killua dug his nails into his palms, waking himself from his state of Gay Panic ™ with a quick bite of pain. "Alluka! You said this was just gonna be me and you! Why is he here?" Killua demanded.
"I'm here too, you know," Zushi mumbled.
"I never said it was a private thing," Alluka said, cocking her head to one side and playing all innocent. "Is there a reason why you didn't want Gon to be invited?"
Killua opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He felt Gon watching him, those intense eyes waiting for his answer to Alluka's question.
"I– whatever," Killua grunted. He shoved his hands into his front pocket and stomped back to his place in the kitchen. His face was on fire. He willed the blush to go down before he'd have to turn and face the others again. His heart was still running wild. His skin was crawling on the back of his head, he could practically sense Gon's presence behind him.
"You can leave your shoes by the door, Gon!" Alluka chirped, going through her "innocent hostess" ploy. Killua glared into the back of her head over his wine glass of chocolate milk. Damned Alluka, she did this on purpose! The mistletoe hadn't been there last time, she'd hung it up on PURPOSE knowing that she was inviting Gon without Killua's knowledge! She'd set them up under the mistletoe again! What the fuck!
The audacity.
"Now that everyone's here," Alluka cooed with a friendly wave in Gon's direction, "We can start making cookies! Zushi and I already laid everything out and tested the recipe! It's not too difficult, and the dough looks really good!"
Killua stood before the counter. There were four mixing bowls spread out, and a vast array of random baking supplies. There were chocolate chips, bags of sugar, about twenty-five sticks of butter… it was as if Alluka was rubbing her wealth in Killua's face…
"I've never made cookies before!"
Killua stiffened when Gon walked around the island to stand beside him. The skin on Killua's left arm prickled from his proximity, and he felt the blood begin to rush to his face again. He casually (awkwardly) pulled his hood over his head to hide his flushed cheeks from Gon.
"Well today's as good as any to start!" Alluka chirped, giving Gon a blinding grin. "The first thing on the recipe is four cups of flour…"
Killua forced himself to ignore Gon, and began heaping flour into his bowl. He was halfway through his third cup of flower when an arm wrapped around his shoulder and Gon's voice was suddenly speaking directly into his ear.
"Hey, can I use the cup when you're done?"
Killua stiffened, accidentally dropping the cup into his bowl. He shamefully picked it back up and continued scooping the flour into his mixing bowl. "Just use the half-cup, dumbass," he muttered, praying to Jesus, Satan, fucking Kurapika to make Gon understand the concept of *personal space.*
"But math gross," Gon pouted, leaning his weight onto Killua's shoulders.
Killua swallowed his spit and wished his hands would stop shaking. He scooped out the final cup and then smacked Gon on the head with it. "There."
"Ow," Gon whined. Killua dropped the measuring cup, and smirked to himself when Gon scrambled to catch it.
"Next is two teaspoons of baking soda!" Alluka said, amusement in her cheeky voice. Killua glanced up at her through his hair to find his sister smirking that cat-like smirk right at him. He swiftly flipped her off, a gesture which Alluka returned twofold.
Killua snatched a teaspoon and started measuring the proper amount.
I wonder how fast I'd die if I just, like, took a shot of baking soda?
Uh, Killua, I think you're using the wrong spoon," Gon whispered.
Killua flicked his eyes over in Gon's direction, but didn't look him in the face. His hood concealed everything but Gon's hands and his mixing bowl… where he was using a literal spoon. And not even a small spoon, a big spoon.
"It's not an actual spoon, dumb shit," Killua snorted.
"What?" Gon huffed, "But you use the big spoon and it's the same thing as the measuring cup!"
"That's for tablespoon, you moron," Killua retorted.
Gon choked, "Wait, no way! Alluka?"
"He's right, unfortunately," Alluka pouted. Her and Zushi were moving through the recipe with relative ease, unlike Gon and Killua who were stiff as boards and focusing more on each other than the task at hand.
"Oh, shit," Gon whined, "I already put two in!"
"Guess your cookies are gonna taste like ass then," Killua taunted.
"Oh yeah?" Gon shot back. Killua could just picture his puffed out cheeks. He mentally shot himself in the foot for finding it cute. "I bet your cookies will taste like dogshit!"
"Is that a challenge? I hope you're not challenging me, Gon," Killua threatened with a sly grin.
"Maybe I am," Gon huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Boys," Alluka warned. "Three sticks of butter."
"Aren't you supposed to mix the dry ingredients first?" Killua drawled.
"If you're going to question me than kindly go fuck yourself," Alluka replied smoothly.
"Gladly. Where do you keep your vibrator again?"
Alluka's cheeks turned bright pink, "Brother!-"
Zushi fumbled and dropped his stick of butter.
Killua just snickered.
"A cup and a half of sugar," Alluka enunciated through clenched teeth. Her eyes were busy burrowing holes in Killua's skull. He glanced over at her and stuck out his tongue. Oh come on, sister. You're the one who decided to play this little game~
Killua ripped open a bag of sugar and poured about a third of the bag into his bowl.
"Wha– Killua, that's way too much sugar!" Gon cried out in horror.
"What's it to you?" Killua jabbed, turning his head to look Gon in the eye. He quickly regretted it, because the second he left the safety of his hood-shield and looked up at Gon his cheeks flushed pink. "You want me to lose, don't you," he grumbled, quickly snapping his head forward again.
"I want you to lose, not get diabetes," Gon teased, before elbowing Killua in the side and making him spill even more sugar into his bowl.
"Uh– hey!" Killua shrieked, staring at his bowl and its mountain of sugar in horror. He removed a couple of handfuls and dumped them back into the bag. "That's cheating, you asshole!" he hissed, before pelting Gon with a handful of sugar.
The raven held up his arms and cackled, not guilty in the slightest.
"Two tablespoons of salt," Alluka announced.
"Hah! Big spoon time!" Gon declared. He picked back up his spoon and started measuring out the salt.
Killua measured using an actual measuring cup, like a dignified member of society. He watched Gon out of the corner of his eye. He timed himself perfectly, bumping Gon with his hip and forcing him to spill an ungodly amount of salt into his bowl.
Gon cried out in surprise, and then shot a glare in Killua's direction.
Killua bit his lip to stifle his laughter. "Now we're even."
"A half cup of brown sugar," Alluka ordered.
Killua and Gon measured out their brown sugar on high alert, never letting the other out of their sight. Zushi sighed as he watched the two from across the island. He could feel the aggression between them like static electricity.
"Three teaspoons of vanilla extract," Alluka said.
"I thought these were chocolate chip," Killua complained. He gazed at his bottle of vanilla in suspicion.
"They are," Alluka snapped, "But if you think that vanilla doesn't belong in cookies then just don't add it. Doesn't matter to me."
Killua and Alluka exchanged a heated glare. Killua added the vanilla.
"Four eggs," Alluka said, never breaking eye contact with her troublesome brother.
Killua pulled up his sleeve and gracefully cracked an egg on the side of his bowl… before tossing the shells into Gon's bowl.
"Hey!" Gon shrieked.
Killua giggled, and proceeded to crack another egg and toss the shells into Gon's bowl.
"Jerk," Gon accused.
Killua continued cracking his eggs in silence like the peaceful bystander he was.
That was until Gon literally threw an egg at his head.
"Ow!" Killua yelled. He brought his fingers to the side of his hood in disbelief, fingers that came back covered in egg whites and annihilated yolk. He turned his head to look at Gon, who was innocently cracking the eggs into his bowl, shells and all.
You wanna go, huh? Fine, let's fucking go!
Killua snatched an egg from the carton and chucked it straight at Gon's face. It hit its target flawlessly, splattering all over Gon's cheek and getting into his stupid smiling mouth.
Gon gagged and sputtered, spitting eggs and saliva all over the island. Zushi and Alluka gasped and quickly snatched up their mixing bowls out of Gon's range, glaring at him distrustingly.
A pair of agitated amber eyes landed on Killua.
"Oops, must have cracked it a little too hard," he admitted with a shrug.
Gon and Killua glanced at each other.
They were at it in a flash, and within the lapse of two seconds were chucking eggs back and forth as hard as humanly possible. Killua screamed at the top of his lungs the whole time, running and ducking in circles around the island as he chucked eggs into Gon's face and chest. Eggs cracked in his eyes and hair, but Killua didn't give two shits because it was on.
"Gon, Killua, stop it!" Alluka yelled in horror as she and Zushi retreated behind the couch with their mixing bowls in tow.
"I'm not stopping until this bitch does!" Killua yelled before nailing an egg in the center of Gon's face.
"Well I'm not stopping until he apologizes!" Gon exclaimed. Killua squeaked in horror when he grabbed a gallon of milk from the counter and flung its contents across the island. Killua tried to duck, but to no avail. The milk followed him like target-locking missiles, and soon he was dripping with organic vitamin D.
"You covered me in cow cum!" Killua shrieked, never so offended in his entire life. He shot to his feet and pointed across the island like fucking Jotaro Kujo.
"It comes from an utter, not a fucking cock!" Gon yelled before chucking the empty plastic gallon directly at Killua's head.
"It's the same damn thing!" Killua shot back as he ducked. He then grabbed the extendable faucet of Alluka's kitchen sink and turned the water on. Gon screamed like the wicked witch of the west and dove out of the way.
"Killua Zoldyck, we do not play with the faucet!" Alluka scolded from the living room.
"I am not!" Killua argued, making the mistake of taking his eyes off the enemy to confront his sister.
In the split second that Killua looked away Gon took his chance and launched himself over the island. He collided into Killua like a linebacker and the two of them crashed into the laminate floor.
Gon slathered a handful of butter across Killua's face, cackling like a psych ward escapee.
"HE'S TOUCHING ME!" Killua shrieked dramatically, "HE'S TOUCHING ME!"
"Don't throw eggs at me, then!" Gon screamed through shoulder wracking laughter. He held his hands in front of his face to block Killua's assault of bitch slaps and weak punches.
"You're the one who threw an egg at me!" Killua shot back.
"Did not!"
"Yes you fucking did, jackass!"
"Boys," Alluka drawled from where she stood over them. Zushi was hiding behind her for moral support.
"Apologize to me, Kill-u-a!"
"Over my dead fucking body, Gong!"
"Boys!"
Gon and Killua jumped out of their skin when Alluka slammed two pots together. They ceased their attacks and looked up at her like a pair of puppies caught tearing up the good couch.
Alluka sighed, her eyebrow twitching. "Gon, if you'd please get out of my brother's lap."
Gon scrambled off Killua and sat crisscrossed at Alluka's feet. Killua pushed himself up and ran a hand through his egg and cow cum soaked hair.
"Killua, apologize to Gon for putting egg shells in his cookie dough," Alluka instructed.
Her brother glared up at her, "I won't apologize for being a bad bitch–"
Alluka faked him out with a fucking cast iron skillet.
Killua flinched and cowered, before narrowing his eyes at Gon and mumbling a "sorry."
"Good," Alluka praised with a victorious grin. "Now Gon?"
The raven gazed up at her with an impressive set of puppy dog eyes.
Alluka raised the skillet, "Don't try that shit with me, Freecss."
Gon squealed and scrambled back several feet.
Alluka cackled, the power of the skillet beginning to go to her head. "Gon, apologize to my brother for throwing eggs at him."
"And cow cum?" Killua demanded.
"That shit was deserved," Alluka argued.
Killua crossed his arms and pouted.
"I'm sorry for throwing eggs at you Killua," Gon sighed dramatically.
"Good job, Gon!" Alluka praised in the tone of a preschool instructor. "Now, what do we say when our friends apologize?"
"Suck my fat cock, you rule-following pick-me?" Killua suggested.
Alluka brandished the skillet.
"Sorry, god!" Killua gasped, scrambling backwards to join Gon where he hid under the ledge of the island. "Truce," he grumbled, sticking his hand out to Gon.
"Truce!" Gon agreed with a grin. He shook Killua's hand. The oath was sworn in the power of raw eggs and cast iron skillets.
Alluka sighed and put the pans back on the counter. "Now that that's over with. Come on, we're so close. Only one more ingredient!"
With that the four of them returned to the counter… which was in a state of disaster thanks to Gon and Killua's death match. The final ingredient was two cups of chocolate chips (Killua added eight). After that the dough had to be properly stirred and put on pans.
Killua was certain that he was going to win the cookie baking competition! Not only did his cookies have the most chocolate, but Gon's were full of egg shells, baking soda, and salt! He also sucked at making the balls of batter the same size, and his pan looked like a war zone by the time he was done. Killua's cookie dough balls were all perfectly even, and he'd even made one in the shape of a penis with his excess batter.
Alluka stared disappointedly down at Killua's pan when he handed it over to be placed in the oven.
Killua turned up his nose in pride, "Do you enjoy my art?"
"Only you would consider a flaccid cock art, but to each his own I suppose," Alluka muttered.
Killua and Gon snickered and exchanged a high five. Zushi watched on in exasperation as he began to clean up the enormous mess that was all over the counter. The two trouble makers turned to help him out, but were stopped by Alluka, who grabbed their collars before they could descend upon the mess they'd made.
"Nope!" Alluka declared, "Step away from the eggs!"
"But we have to help you clean up!" Gon protested, genuinely horrified that Alluka and Zushi were going to clean up his and Killua's mess on their own.
"Yeah, Alluka," Killua drawled, "There are five eggs left, I have to make sure they're properly smashed in Gon's ugly mug!" He earned a glare from Gon and a slap upside the head from Alluka for that statement.
"And that's precisely why you two are not allowed in my kitchen ever again," Alluka declared. She dragged the two of them out of the kitchen and down the hallway to her Jack and Jill bed and bath.
"I promise we'll be good!" Gon whined, "I can't let you clean that up on your own–"
"-Shut up, idiot!" Killua snapped, "We're getting out of chores right now, don't fuck it up!"
"I won't be on my own, Gon," Alluka cooed, ignoring Killua's retort. "I'll have Zushi with me! We're the ultimate cleaning duo! You two would just slow us down. And besides. You have your own cleaning up to do~"
Alluka shoved Gon and Killua into the bathroom and stood in the doorway to block their escape. She smirked at the two of them where they gazed up at her from the floor. "You're not leaving this bathroom until you've cleaned up! You're both covered in eggs and cum, and you are not getting that shit all over my rug!"
"It's not cum, it's milk–" Gon muttered.
"-It's cum, just accept it," Killua interrupted.
"No it's not!"
"Yes it is!"
"BOYS!" Alluka yelled, shutting them back up. "You can argue about whose cum is all over Killua's face at a later date, but right now you're getting on my last nerve!"
Oh, that certainly shut them up.
Alluka grinned victoriously, "Good, I'm glad we've reached an understanding. Since the two of you have ruined your clothes with ejaculate and egg yolks, I'll have to get you some new clothes!"
Killua gasped in horror, "Alluka, I swear god–"
The young woman slunk off with a spine chilling snicker, and returned not a split second later with two frilly Christmas dresses to match hers and Zushi's. They even came with Santa hats, tights, and socks with pom-poms on the toes.
"Oh my fuck, yes!" Gon cheered, shooting to his feet and taking his hangar from Alluka with a wild grin on his face. "I've been searching for an excuse to crossdress my whole life!"
Killua looked at Gon with an expression that just… couldn't. "I… I'm just going to pretend I ain't hear that."
"Perfect! I'm glad you two like the dresses that I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into!" Alluka declared as she tossed Killua's dress into his face, effectively playing her classic guilt trip card.
"Yeah, I'm not wearing this," Killua deadpanned.
"Awwww, but you have to, Killua!" Gon and Alluka exclaimed in unison.
"No I do not! Maybe Zushi likes dressing like fucking Peppa Pig but I do not!"
"Peppa Pig?!" Alluka shrieked, "These dresses do NOT look like Peppa Pig!"
"They're red and unflattering, so," Killua gestured sassily with his hand.
"Don't listen to Killua," Gon snapped in the silver haired boy's direction. He wrapped his arms protectively around Alluka and gave her head a pat. "He's just mad because your superior fashion sense is disrupting his fragile masculinity!"
"What– I do NOT have fragile masculinity!" Killua exclaimed.
"Are dresses really that scary, Killua?" Gon asked, pinning him with an accusatory glare.
"Yeah! Are they, brother?" Alluka added, pressing her cheek against Gon's and glaring right with him.
"Wha- no, I'm just not wearing– not wearing– dammit." Killua crossed his arms and averted his gaze with a huff. Gon and Alluka… their disapproval was too powerful. Getting glared at by his favorite person and his crush at the same time was too much, it seemed. "Fine, I'll wear the stupid fucking dress."
Killua succumbed to peer pressure. He'd never felt such a potent sting of defeat in his entire life.
"Yay!" Gon and Alluka cheered, joining hands and hopping up and down in a little circle.
"Now we'll all be matching!" Alluka squealed.
"Fuck yeah, I love wearing tights!" Gon yelled, causing Zushi to turn his head in the direction of the bedroom in confusion.
"I can't believe this," Killua muttered under his breath.
"Well! Have fun showering together!" Alluka chirped, causing Gon and Killua to doubletake. "I'll be cleaning with Zushi! If either of you leave this bathroom before you're cleaned up then I'll resort to the skillet." With that, Alluka slammed the door in their faces and skipped back to the kitchen.
Gon and Killua blinked at the door, then shared a glance.
Well, it was what it was.
Killua sighed and broke Gon's gaze. He was now locked in a confined space with a hot motorcycle dude again. Great.
"So you wanna take turns or–"
"-Take turns," Killua interrupted without hesitation. He did not trust himself to be standing naked in the shower. With Gon. Also naked. And covered in water.
"The door is glass so does it really matter?" Gon asked.
Killua looked from Gon's dense, dense face to the shower and back. "Just turn your horny ass around," he snapped.
The resulting silence could have been cut with a knife.
Killua stood up and moved to turn the shower on. He turned it to the hottest setting, maybe if he made the shower hot enough he'd sweat all the gay out of him. Killua left the (glass) shower open while he waited for the water to heat up. His heart began to pound in his chest, and his cheeks got hotter as more and more steam filled up the bathroom.
With his back turned to Gon, Killua stripped off the hoodie, leaving himself shirtless in some seriously-sagging pajama pants. Killua's pulse was loud as hell in his ears, he was all too aware of Gon literally two feet away while he was literally stripping. Killua swallowed when a line of heat shot down to his groin.
He was so screwed.
Killua slowly hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants, and slowly pulled them down around his ankles. He remained silent, just daring Gon to turn and watch. He'd never told Gon to turn around. Was he watching? He was right fucking there–
I kind of hope he's watching.
Killua bit his tongue as punishment for that unholy, unholy thought.
His body trembled with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. He was standing naked right in front of Gon. Killua took a deep breath and honed the entirety of his anti-boner skillz. Not that he had any in the first place…
Killua kicked his pants off to the side and stepped into the shower, shutting the door behind him. He recoiled when he stepped beneath the boiling hot water, but got used to it soon enough. He probably didn't need to wash his body. He hadn't brought his scrub brush, and Alluka had killed him the last time he'd used hers. His hair was the only thing covered in eggs anyways. He could just wash his face off with his hands–
"Shit, why's it so hot?!"
Killua's soul quite literally left his body when he heard Gon's voice in the shower behind him. He jumped out of his skin and whipped around on pure instinct, only to have a full on Gay Crisis ™ when he found Gon, naked, LITERALLY right fucking there.
He gasped in horror and whipped back around to hide his (half-erect) junk. "Fuck, why are you in here?!" Killua demanded, his voice embarrassingly high pitched. Hadn't they just agreed to take turns?! Every time he blinked he saw the image of Gon's bare chest where it was stamped across the backs of his eyelids. All that flawless tan skin… defined muscle… and had that been a nipple ring or just Killua's imagination?
"Jesus, how thick is your skin, dude?!" Gon exclaimed, completely ignoring Killua's question. He stepped forward and reached around Killua to grab the shower handle. Killua froze on the spot when Gon's chest brushed his back and his arm slipped around him. He could feel Gon's tall form looming behind him, and god was it not the hottest thing he'd ever–
Gon retracted and Killua's shoulders deflated. Fuck. Fuck. He was completely hard.
Oh my god–
"That's better," Gon sighed as the heat turned down enough to be bearable to the average hot (but not skin peeling) shower enjoyer.
Killua stared in horror down at his dick. Yeah, hi Mister Penis, it's nice to see you– but couldn't you have scheduled an appointment?! What do I do. I can't very well jerk off, Gon's right fucking THERE, but how do I get rid of it?!
"Hey Killua…"
"What?" Killua snapped, his Gay Crisis ™ slipping into his words and turning them harsh and sharp edged.
"Are you mad at me?"
Killua sputtered for thirty straight seconds before managing an actual word. "What?"
"Are you… like, pissed at me?" Gon repeated. There was a new emotion in his voice. One that Killua had never heard from Gon before. It was… insecurity?
"Why are you…" Killua pinched the bridge of his nose. "And why are you asking me this right now?"
"Because we're alone."
"Did you really have to follow me into the shower, though?!" Killua demanded.
"Well I wanted to talk to you face to face–"
"-I'm completely butt assed naked!" Killua exclaimed, turning on his heel to look this dense, dense boi in the face. "Here we are! Face to fucking face and dick to fucking dick, now what was so important that you had to strip naked and follow me into the shower?!" Killua asked, spreading his arms out wide and doing a fantastic job of meeting Gon's gaze and not looking at his cock.
The second that little speech left Killua's mouth he regretted existence.
I think I'll die now–
Where had his filter gone? WHERE HAD IT GONE–
"I wanted to talk to you about last night," Gon reiterated. His brows drew together and his eyes swirled with determination. Killua wasn't arrogant enough to allow himself to believe that the flush in Gon's cheeks from him and not just the scalding water. But bro was most certainly red in the face.
"Last night?" Killua repeated. The hamster wheel in his mind fell clean off its axle. There was only one thing that came to mind when Gon said "last night." The kiss. When Killua had kissed him back, holy mother of god–
"About what happened, –"
"-It was nothing!" Killua said in a rush, shaking his hands in front of him in a panic.
"Huh?" Gon asked, blinking several times.
"Uh, I mean," Killua backtracked and threaded his fingers through his soaking hair. "It was… nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
The most awkward silence Killua had ever endured was the hush that fell between the two of them. Standing naked in the shower. And dodging the subject of "Killugon" trending on Tik Tok.
"So…" Gon's arm reached up to rub the back of his neck. Killua practically drooled when his bicep flexed. He watched a bead of water slip down the bulge of the muscle, and Killua had never wanted to lick something so badly in his life. "You're not mad that I kissed you?"
Killua awkwardly cleared his throat. It was a miracle Gon wasn't looking down. "Uh, no. That's– not a problem. I mean if you–"
"-It was just mistletoe!" Gon choked out. "Er, yeah. We can't break the rule."
Killua nodded jerkily. I can't believe I almost said that–
"I mean if you wanted to make out you could have just asked…"
Something about Gon frantically shooting down the topic of them kissing because they wanted to was the best anti-boner medicine out there. Killua turned his back to Gon and got to work cleaning his hair.
He missed the way Gon's jaw dropped in horror when he processed what he'd just said, as well as the war he had with himself about backtracking or not.
The two of them began scrubbing the eggs out of their hair in silence.
I'm making this all awkward, Killua whined at himself, Gon's the weird one for following me into the shower but if I keep acting all stiff then it'll make it even weirder. This is what heterosexual friends do, right? Shower together? Without thinking about licking each other's abs or slapping that fat ass–
"Did you make out with Zushi?"
Killua choked violently on his own spit.
"Excuse me?" he managed, glanced over at his shoulder at Gon because there was no way he'd heard him right–
The look in Gon's eye sent Killua's heart racing. His cheeks picked up color, and he thanked the shower water for providing him a blush-excuse. Gon looked almost… Was he upset? Was the dark shadow across his eyes jealousy? He wasn't quite looking Killua in the eye, but rather staring blankly at the fogged up glass of the door.
"Alluka said that you made out with Zushi," Gon repeated.
"Uh…" Killua wasn't sure what to do with his hands. "Yeah, I did that."
Gon startled, his eyes suddenly snapping to Killua's. "You did?"
"Yes…"
"Why?"
Killua's eyes flicked between Gon's. "Because Alluka hung a mistletoe."
"But you didn't have to make out with him," Gon said, almost like he was scolding Killua or something.
"Oh?" Defiance sparked in his chest. He crossed his arms and faced Gon in full, cocking one leg and giving the sassiest glare he could muster. Why does he care so much about me making out with Zushi when he doesn't give two shits about kissing me? "What, is it not permitted in the rULeS?"
Gon sputtered, "Well, no, but–"
"-Then why does it matter?" Killua demanded. He watched Gon flounder on the spot, a smirk threatening to poke at his features.
"Because–" Gon grumbled. A cherry red stained across his cheeks. There was no blaming that on the shower water. "I mean it's not like–"
"-Are you mad that I made out with Zushi?" Killua taunted. He leaned forward, and watched triumphantly as Gon startled and took a half a step back.
"What? No–"
"-Oh. I see what's going on here."
Gon's eyes widened, he opened his mouth to speak but Killua beat him to the punch.
"You're jealous."
Killua's heart floundered in his chest when Gon's mouth opened, but no words fell out. He'd caught him. Holy shit, is he–
"You're mad that I kissed someone other than you," Killua stated. "Under the mistletoe, of course," he added slyly.
Gon glared. "That's not what I said."
"Oh? But that's what you meant, isn't it?"
Gon was once again at a loss for words. Killua felt light as a feather. He should probably quit while he was ahead, he'd take the last word like the bad bitch he was born to be. He snorted, and turned to leave the shower.
Only to be blocked by Gon's arm boxing him against the glass wall.
Killua's stomach flipped. He turned his head and looked up at Gon, who'd trapped him fuck-boy style like a freshman girl against the lockers. The height difference was unfair.
"Did you want to make out with Zushi?"
The fluttering in Killua's chest came to a grinding halt, replaced once again by that burning aggravation. "I dunno, fucknuts, did I?"
Gon's eyes flashed. He reached over and shut the water off. The steam began to dissipate. The shield blocking Gon's tanned body from Killua's eyes was wearing off. His resolve was being thoroughly tested. Not today, Satan! Killua had an argument to win. Or at least… he thought this was an argument. It certainly felt like one…
"You're being really mean today," Gon accused.
"Must have woken up on the wrong side of Zushi's bed."
That was a complete total lie. But Killua couldn't help it.
The look in Gon's eyes was well worth it. Without a doubt, that had been anger. Was it hailing from jealousy or protectiveness over Zushi? Killua couldn't say. But he was gonna fucking figure it out.
Killua held Gon's gaze, watching as the gears turned in that thick-skull of his and daring him to call himself out.
"Kidding!" he chirped suddenly, flashing a cat-like grin. He ducked from under Gon's arm and slipped out of the shower. He tossed a towel around his waist and started drying off his hair.
Gon followed a couple moments after him. He kept his back to Killua while he dried himself off and shook his head about like a dog. Killua watched the movement of his muscles in the mirror. His stomach felt warm. He hadn't wanted to make out with Zushi. He'd wanted to make out with Gon.
But I can't admit that. He's pissed about the Zushi thing for some reason, but I don't know the reason why. Maybe it's because we're friends and he thinks I'll replace him with Zushi? God fucking knows, but there's no way in hell I'm letting Gon know my true feelings.
"You're mad at me, Killua," Gon said.
Killua quickly averted his gaze from Gon's reflection before he was caught in the act. "Says who? I'm not mad at anyone."
"But you're acting all weird!" Gon exclaimed, turning on his heel with his fist clenched in a towel. "You've been ignoring me all day and you were a jerk to me from the second I showed up! I thought we were friends… Tell me what I did wrong. Please?"
I'm not mad, I just can't stop acting like a fool when I'm around you now, and I have to act like a jerk to conceal the fact that I'm falling in love with you. The only reason you want to kiss me is because of stupid fucking mistletoe, but I want to kiss you because…
"You didn't do anything wrong," Killua sighed. "I'm just pissed that Palm's exploiting a fake relationship between us." That answer could easily be interpreted as me being pissed that we're mistaken by millions of strangers as "together" in general. But in reality I'm upset because it's all fake…
Killua watched the gears turn in Gon's head through the mirror.
"Oh," he finally said. "Well we're not together or anything, so there's nothing for you to worry about. We're just friends."
Yeah. That's the problem.
"Yeah," Killua agreed.
"I'll stop kissing you if you want me too…" Gon offered, scratching the back of his head. "It's just there's always mistletoe around us…"
Killua's heart deflated at the prospect of never kissing Gon again. But still. He didn't want to keep kissing him if he was the only one into it…
"But. If you ever want to make out with a guy, don't go to Zushi, okay?"
Killua startled and met Gon's eyes in the mirror. He'd slunken over to stand behind Killua, and stood at his back with his palms reaching around to brace the counter on Killua's either side. His chin fit nice and neat right over Killua's head.
"I'm right here," Gon concluded with a suggestive smirk.
Killua was trapped, there was nowhere to run. Blood rushed to his cheeks and stained his face and ears red. Gon's lips turned up at the corners, and Killua's heart spasmed when his eyes drifted down to rest on the reflection of his lips.
What–
He's practically volunteering to make out with me, no mistletoe involved.
I could turn around right now, and Gon would…
Killua's traitorous eyes slid slowly from Gon's wildfire eyes to his smiling lips.
"I thought we were just friends," Killua said, his voice unreadable.
"Friends make out," Gon countered.
Haha, yeah right.
Killua's brow furrowed when he saw Gon's eyes flick upwards. He followed that gleeful gaze with a growing dread. Sure enough. Alluka had hung another fucking mistletoe from the light fixture over her sink.
Oh. Well of fucking course.
Mistletoe would always be involved, wouldn't it? Gon would never kiss Killua if that accursed plant wasn't the reason why.
Now I see why Alluka was so damn chipper about shoving us in the bathroom together. Damn meddling sister. I'm stealing another pair of her shoes for this.
Killua had gotten himself all hopeful over nothing. Disappointment swirled around in the pit of his gut, resting right there with his pains over required love. The simmering mixture bubbled up, and with a sloping pop released a singe of anger.
Fucking Gon. Fucking mistletoe. Fucking Zushi.
So what if it was all because of that mother fucking plant?! Killua wanted to make out with Gon! He'd volunteered, hadn't he? Therefore it was his fault if they did non-bro things, and not Killua's. If Gon wanted to feed into his Gay Thoughts then fine! Have it his way!
I mean I might as well, right? If he's stupid enough to swap spit with his gay friend then I'll give him a run for his money. Stupid heterosexual guys, why are they so damn full of themselves?!
Powered by the strength of Gay Rage alone, Killua held his breath, steeled his balls, and turned around. He placed the small of his back to the counter and faced Gon. He craned his neck to meet Gon's gaze. Those amber eyes were twinkling with excitement.
What the hell. Did Gon get a kick out of making out with dudes when he wasn't even gay?
Killua cocked his head to one side. He purposefully snaked his tongue across his lips to draw Gon's gaze. It worked. That subtle flick of Gon's eyes set Killua's heart pounding and stomach into a tizzy. It was like he was high. High off the pressure of Gon's eyes on him.
The excitement of it all went to Killua's head, shutting down the filter on his mouth and - more importantly - his impulse control. He raised his arm and slowly drug a finger down the center of Gon's chest. That tanned skin felt like fire. Killua pleaded with his dick to stay asleep.
"So," Killua drawled, "It seems my sister hung a mistletoe in here."
"Seems like it," Gon agreed, almost breathless. Every ounce of his attention was on Killua, it was surreal.
I want to make him crazy about me for once. Even if it's just because of mistletoe…
Killua slid his finger to his belly button and then back up again. He noted the shiver Gon gave and the trail of inky black creeping up from beneath the towel to brush his lower belly. Killua slipped his finger across the hollow of Gon's throat and up his neck until he held his chin on the tip of his nail.
Gon swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"We can't break the rules, can we?" Killua purred.
Gon's eyes flashed for a fraction of a second, before his grin turned sly. "Nope."
"Guess we have no choice," Killua sighed, feigning defeat. He brushed his fingers along Gon's jaw to slip his hands into his soaking hair. It was just as thick as it looked, but the wet made it slippery and compliant.
Killua's entire body felt like it was covered in electricity as he looked up into Gon's half lidded eyes. Shit… he wanted this so bad.
Ya know what?
Fuck it.
Killua pulled Gon's lips to his and let the flames engulf him.
The moment their lips met Gon's hands dove into Killua's hair. Tension snapped tight as a wire between them, and the only thing Killua was aware of was Gon's mouth on his. Their noses pressed against each other. The gasping of Gon's breath between swoon worthy kisses.
Fireworks shot from the balls of Killua's feet to the crown of his head. His stomach was flailing like he was on a roller coaster. The only thing louder than his pulse in his ears was the smack of Gon's lips and the panting of his breath.
Killua locked his arms around Gon's shoulders and stood on the tips of his toes. Gon drove his knee between his thighs and used it to lift him onto the counter. Killua found himself groaning against Gon's mouth when he stepped between his knees and pressed their chests together.
The next time Killua gasped for air Gon slid his tongue between his parted lips, and soon Killua's head was spinning like mad. Gon's lips were salty with sweat, but his tongue was sweet from stolen chocolate chips. Killua whined into the kiss and found himself closing his legs around the raven's waist.
It was completely different than it was with Zushi. His toes curled every time Gon's tongue slid against his, it felt like his entire body was flushed red.
Gon's hands were rough in his hair, and his kiss was bruising and hot. Killua felt like he was coming apart at the seams. His mind was reduced to mush and the only thing in the world was the taste of Gon on his tongue and the heat of his body squeezed close.
After what had to have been five minutes at the very least, Gon broke the kiss with a gasp. The two of them sat and stared at each other while they caught their breath, a string of saliva connecting their lips. Killua felt like he'd just left orbit and crashed back through the atmosphere and into the ocean.
His heart was like a spinning top in his chest, radiating a pulsing warmth that felt like the burst of a supernova.
Killua stared into Gon's amber eyes like he'd opened his for the first time in his life.
Every time his heart pumped in his chest it whispered "Gon," and it was in that moment that Killua knew he was head over heels; sitting on the counter in his sister's bathroom with mistletoe over his head and the boy of his dreams between his knees.