Killua thought about it, and he did not talk to Gon. He continued ignoring him because that was the healthy, mature response that any functioning adult would select. Unfortunately for him, however, ignoring Gon was like trying to get off hard drugs. But while the suffering was great, the embarrassment that Killua was sparing himself from was far greater.
Although, he was starting to wonder if it was really worth it.
He'd been so happy with Gon as his friend. In fact, now that he'd ghosted the guy, Killua couldn't remember what it felt like to be happy any more. Had this seriously been his life before he'd met Gon?
Getting up. Going to work. Suffering for hours on end until returning home to an empty apartment and doing it all over again? Normally Killua would have Alluka to talk to, but she was out of contact with him because she was swamped with work.
Killua had Greed Island and Netflix and his Tik Tok addiction, but none of that was enough anymore. He'd gotten a taste of what life had to offer, and all of a sudden he couldn't stand to be isolated any more. His apartment felt like an apocalyptic wasteland compared to how warm and cozy Gon's had been. His bed was like a sheet of plywood now that Killua knew how it felt to lay curled up in Gon's.
His entire being screamed at him to unblock Gon or drive by his apartment at the very least, but Killua had to keep reminding himself that it was a bad idea. Because it was. Gon didn't need a fool like him adding nothing but drama to his life. And besides, Killua didn't deserve to have Gon back anyways. He'd made a disgusting breech of his friend's boundaries, and it was in his best interest to stay the fuck out of his life.
Luckily Gon had stopped trying to contact Killua after that first day, but Killua couldn't decide if he liked that or not. Now he knew that he wouldn't have to worry about Gon showing up at his work, but at the same time he was weighed down with the knowledge that Gon was no longer making an effort to fix things.
Gon had clearly given up on Killua… and Killua told himself that it was for the best.
All he had to do now was stop thinking about that raven haired idiot 24/7, and Killua would be well on his way to completely wiping his slate clean. No more Gon, no more being in love, and no more beating himself up over destroying the one relationship that meant more to him than anything ever had.
It was December twenty second and Killua was currently pursuing an activity that perfectly matched his mental fortitude at the moment: shopping at Kroger at 9pm on a Tuesday night.
Alluka's Christmas sleepover was happening that day after tomorrow - Christmas Eve - and even though Gon and Zushi wouldn't be coming anymore, there was still shopping to be done. It was Killua's responsibility to make up for Gon and Zushi's absence, and he'd do so by making sure that this was the best Christmas party he and Alluka had ever thrown.
He didn't know how he was going to do that… but he'd start by blowing his budget on sweet stuff. Alluka had just as bad a sweet tooth as he did, and if anything was going to cheer her up from his and Gon's arguing then it was sugar.
The Kroger crowd at 9pm was dreary like Killua's soul: only the elderly, hungover teens, and stressed adults grabbing milk on the way home were still prowling the aisles. The employees had shut down half of the check out lines, and the floors were already beginning to be mopped.
The store was silent, in a sad, empty way. Or maybe that was just Killua. His airpods had died that morning because he'd forgotten to charge them again, so he was unable to drown out his thoughts with The Weeknd.
Killua shivered as he hurried through the automatic doors and out of the cold. It was twelve degrees below freezing outside, and the snow still hadn't stopped coming down. It was ten inches at this point and accumulating fast, the plows had their work cut out for them in keeping the roads clear.
He set out for the stack of handbaskets at a leisurely pace. It wasn't like he was in any rush. He still had an hour to peruse the shelves before the store closed, and he'd been freshly paid. He had until tomorrow before his accumulated money would be transferred to his special semester-survival-money savings account, and there were irresponsible purchases calling Killua's name.
His list of party-essentials consisted of hot chocolate, whatever fruit was in season (or on the shelves at the very least), cheese cubes, charcuterie meat, cookies, and whatever other sweet shit Killua happened across. Oh, and dinner. Which he already knew would end up consisting of chocolate ice cream and zebra cakes. Three cheers for a healthy and balanced diet.
The prospect of finding those soft, iced, sugar cookies that Kroger always had in stock was already making Killua's mouth water. If he ate half the package and arranged the rest on a plate before hauling the food over then Alluka would be none the wiser. A stress eating plan was formulating, and Killua was ready to indulge.
He walked up to the stack of baskets right inside the doors. As he was approaching a guy with his hood on was making his way over to put his basket up. They arrived at the stack at the same time, and Killua waited for him to set his basket down on the stack so he could take it. The guy had several bags held in one hand, and as Killua looked at their feet to avoid eye contact he noticed that the guy was wearing the ugliest pair of green boots he had ever seen–
Killua froze.
No. I refuse to believe this.
Killua snapped his head up in a panic because there was no fucking way that this was–
Eyes of sapphire blue locked onto eyes of campfire orange, and Killua swears that his heart stopped in his chest. The entire world seemed to stop turning, and time itself froze when Killua looked up and found Gon hiding beneath that black hoodie.
These stupid fucking coincidences happened far too often for Killua to handle.
Their jaws dropped in unison, both caught widely off guard.
Killua's face turned bright red.
Gon's fingers fell slack, and he dropped his groceries on the floor. The noise startled them, and luckily Killua was the first to regain his bearings. Within a split second Killua was fucking gone.
He retreated immediately, and was rushing out the automatic doors in a flash. Christmas party shopping be damned, he could do that on another day. Literally any other day than this horrible one right now–
"Killua!" Gon gasped, ignoring his wasted groceries and taking off at a run to try and catch the silver haired boy before he could make it to his car. This was the first time Gon had come even remotely close to Killua since that disaster under the Christmas tree. "Wait, I need to talk to you!" he cried out.
Killua's heart was spasming in his chest, and his fight-or-flight mode was turned all the way up to eleven. If you can imagine, Killua's default response was flight. The only thing on his mind was to get the fuck out of there before he died from embarrassment–
"Please hold on!" Gon pleaded, stumbling through the icy parking lot after Killua. "About the other night–"
"-I know, I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry," Killua stammered as he rushed to his car. He fumbled in his pockets for his keys, where the hell were they?! His fingers were shaking like crazy. He was going to throw up. He was going to fucking throw up. Killua arrived at his car and jammed his key into the lock. "I made it weird, I'll stay away from you from now on I promise–"
"I REMEMBER THE KISS!"
Killua froze in his tracks, his hand on the door handle, already halfway into his car. He turned slowly, and looked over his shoulder to where Gon had stumbled to a halt.
"What?" Killua asked blankly.
"I remember the kiss," Gon repeated. A car passed by, illuminating Gon from behind in the brief spotlight of passing headlights. His hood had been blown off in the wind, leaving his messy hair to be whipped about his face and dangle into his eyes. Snowflakes rained down upon him, sprinkling the black of his hair and jacket like a fine powdered sugar. He stood rigid, his fists clenched at his sides. His eyes were wide, lined in silver, and scared. Scared that Killua would disappear again.
On top of the fact that Gon's face was completely red. The color crawled from the tips of his ears and down into the collar of his jacket.
Killua stared blankly at him, at a complete loss.
"The– the kiss at Ikalgo's, at Ikalgo's party," Gon explained, awkwardly fumbling over the words. Killua had never seen him so off guard. "Under the mistletoe, when I was drunk," he continued, rambling at this point. "I remembered it the whole time."
Killua gawked at Gon. Wait… what?
"Hold on…" Killua straightened, pulling the half of his body out of the car. He stood, fully facing Gon. The raven visibly swallowed. "What are you talking about?" Killua demanded.
"I– It was an accident!" Gon exclaimed in a rush. He stepped forward, eyes seemingly horrified at his own words yet lighting up with hope all the same. "It was a total drunken accident at that party, the crazy one right when the semester ended. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, and I can't remember a damn thing from that entire night but– but when I woke up there was one thing that I could remember in vivid detail and that was you. Kissing you."
Killua blinked once. Twice.
Gon's eyes darted about nervously, his hand found the back of his head. "I, uh, I woke up and my first waking thought was about that kiss, and– and about you. I couldn't– couldn't get you out of my head. I was just… I couldn't think about anything but you! The guy I'd accidentally kissed. While totally wasted.
"I told myself it was nothing, that I didn't even know your name, but then I went to get coffee the next morning and you were there at the counter!" Gon held his hands out, a smile tugging at his lips. He awkwardly dropped his arms - as well as the smile - when Killua's expression did not change. "I– I saw you through the window, and I totally freaked out. I hid against the wall before you could see me outside. My heart was beating out of my chest and my face was all red and I– I realized in that moment that I liked you. The uh, the guy I kissed at the, at the party."
Gon continued his rambled explanation in a rush, gaining momentum as he spoke. "It caught me completely off guard. It was just like 'bang!' I was beside myself that I'd run into you again, but then I got to thinking: what the hell was I doing, getting a crush on someone I kissed while drunk? I really wanted to run up and talk to you, but how could I do that? Knowing that I'd started liking you because of something like that? It's totally stupid, right? Who catches feelings for someone that way?
"I couldn't just… roll with it, ya know? But I still wanted to meet you and get your name at the very least. So I decided to pretend like I'd never met you before! I wasn't sure if you'd been sober when it happened, so I thought that maybe there was a chance you didn't remember? I couldn't just walk in acting all normal after kissing you like that, you'd be totally weirded out! I decided to act like I was too drunk to remember, so that way if there was a chance that you did remember, we could start over and meet like total strangers. And then I could get to know you the normal way."
Gon smiled sheepishly, but when Killua was still staring blankly at him he wiped the smile off his face and snapped his mouth shut. He winced, clearly regretting letting his words go off the handle like that.
"Are you telling me that you've been trying to get with me this entire fucking time?" Killua deadpanned.
Gon winced again, his face turning from pink to hot red. He nodded, "Yeah… you'd never give me a chance, being the guy that kissed you while drunk. I thought that if I started with a clean slate I'd still have a chance with you… Though I didn't really think it would work, I knew it was a totally stupid plan. I mean, come on, how could you forget about something like that? There was no way you'd fall for something like that. But I manned up and just went for it, walked up to the counter and pretended like everything was normal. I was panicking on the inside waiting for you to flip out and yell, but then you didn't mention it at all, and I thought that maybe you actually didn't remember or that you felt the same way!
"I wanted to ask for your number, but you were so standoffish and I was too intimidated to say anything. When I got to see you face to face I could hardly keep it together! I thought I was gonna have a heart attack, it was so nerve wracking. Then before I knew it I was leaving with my coffee and nothing but your name, and I was slapping myself because I hadn't had the spine to own up to my drunken idiocy or ask for your number. I thought I'd never see you again, that I'd wasted my one chance with the hottest guy I'd ever seen.
"But, but then Zushi brought me with him to meet his girlfriend and her brother, and it was you! You have no idea how– I was so… I took it as a sign. A second chance! I told myself I wouldn't chicken out this time, I was gonna get to know you and work up the courage to confess to you! But… in the normal way, not the… 'hey, I accidentally kissed you and now I'm infatuated with you' way…"
Gon snorted, laughing at himself. He gazed at his feet as he spoke, a soft smile on his face as he clenched and unclenched his fists. "At first I was just chasing the excitement I'd gotten from kissing you, but before I knew it it was– it was so much more than that." Gon glanced up at Killua, eyes pleading and earnest. "I got to know you thinking that it would give me an opening to make a move, but you were so much better than I could have ever imagined. I thought I was down bad when I woke up that morning but… It's so much more than that now, you're so much more than that!"
Gon swiped his hand across his eyes. He stepped tentatively forward. He looked so mortified, caught between horror and desperation. "I'm sorry about all that stupid stuff I said in the parking lot, I freaked out when Zazan started bringing up the party and it came out all wrong! I was trying so hard to avoid my mistake, I was making such an effort to start completely over… This whole time I was trying to get you to fall for me, but I never thought it would work. I knew it was a lost cause from the start, and the more I got to know you? The more I realized just how hopeless it all was.
"Killua, you're so– you're incredible! I've never met anyone like you my whole life! How could someone like you ever like someone like me? I was trying so hard to get you to fall for me, but I was the one who ended up… When you kissed me that night I– I never thought you would ever… Killua…"
Gon sucked in a quick breath and locked eyes with the Killua, tears welling up in his own. "I'm in love with you!"
Killua's brain completely short circuited. His jaw dropped clean open.
Did I… hear him wrong?
Gon shuffled awkwardly, the words continuing to spill from his mouth. "I– I love you," he repeated, as if he was nervous that he hadn't said the words out loud the first time. "I just… I'm just a fucking idiot and I can't… I'm so sorry for deceiving you. Please, please forgive me?"
Killua was… speechless. He didn't know what to say. He really didn't.
The silence dragged out, and Killua remained frozen. His expression dead eyed and grim, his hand white knuckled on the doorframe of his car. Gon stood rigid in the snow, tears slipping down his cheeks one by one and marking the passage of each painful minute.
When Killua finally spoke up his words startled Gon, causing the raven to jump in surprise. "You're telling me… that you remembered the kiss that entire fucking time?"
Gon nodded jerkily.
Killua gave a breathless laugh, bordering on hysteria. This whole fucking time I've been tearing myself up for being the only one who remembered that STUPID fucking kiss but here Gon is telling me that he knew that entire goddamn time?!
"You knew that we'd met before the time at Beanz? Before Alluka and Zushi's date?" I can't believe this shit. I fucking refuse.
Gon nodded again, looking more and more guilty.
Killua scoffed.
Gon winced, not bothering to wipe the tear that slipped down his cheek and froze to ice against his skin. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking.
Killua marched up to Gon and fucking slapped him across the face.
Gon's head snapped to the side and the crack echoed throughout the parking lot.
The raven's eyes were wide and shocked, his breathing shaky as he froze up.
"You ASSHOLE!" Killua screamed, the volume of his voice making his own eardrums rattle. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
"I'm really sorry," Gon whined, his shoulders jerking as he choked down tears. He tensed up, bracing for another blow.
"Yeah, you fucking should be!" Killua yelled. "Urgh, I can't fucking believe you! What the fuck, Gon?! What the FUCK?!"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry–"
"Why did you think this would be a good idea, huh?! Fucking with me like that?! Lying to me?! What in the fuck is wrong with you?!"
"A lot–"
"-Yeah! A fucking lot, I should know!" Killua grabbed Gon by the collar of his jacket. "Why are you such a goddamn moron?! Why didn't you use your mother fucking words, you complete DIPSHIT!"
"I'm really sorry, Killua," Gon choked out, "I fucked up, I really fucked up, I–"
Gon's words were cut off when Killua tugged him down by the collar and kissed him hard across the mouth.
Once again, the raven completely froze up. Like a damn deer in headlights.
Killua broke the kiss with a gasp, and held Gon down at his eye level. He inspected the idiot's face, finding that same expression from under the Christmas tree. Blank stare, eyes wide in borderline horror.
What the hell.
Killua laughed.
Gon's eyes fluttered, his face turning wild shades of red as he came to his senses. "Wait, Killua?-"
"-I love you."
Gon stiffened, his eyes blowing wide as saucers. Two more tears bubbled over. "What?" he managed.
"You idiot," Killua huffed. He released Gon's jacket and shoved him back so they weren't nose to nose. "Leave it to you to think up stupid shit like this. I thought you hated me."
"What? No! I could never hate you!" Gon said.
"Well how was I supposed to know that?!" Killua demanded. "I couldn't tell if you liked me or if you were some weird ass obsessed with mistletoe!"
"Wait, back up," Gon said. "I thought that you didn't like me! I wanted to make a move but I wasn't brave enough to do it without the mistletoe as a backup excuse, and you never mentioned it so I assumed that you didn't like me that way–"
"-Moron!" Killua snapped, swiftly flicking Gon in the forehead.
"Ow!" he whined. He took two distrusting steps backwards. "What'd you do that for?!"
"If you wanted to kiss me so badly then you should have just asked," Killua scolded.
"I didn't know if you'd want to or not–"
"-Well, duh, that's how consent works. Literally the entire concept."
"So…" Gon's brow furrowed. He was clearly deep in thought. Killua's heart melted… fuck, he was such a goner. A… A goner–
Yeah… Killua knows. That one was awful.
He's sorry.
"So, you would have said yes if I'd asked to kiss you?" Gon finally asked. "Like, without the mistletoe?" He gazed at Killua, face still splashed with disbelief. The silver haired boy blinked, and felt his cheeks begin to heat up.
"Well, uh… probably, yeah."
Probably? Fucking PROBABLY?! Why am I so awkward godDAMMIT–
Gon blinked. "Would you… say yes if I were to ask you right now?"
Killua's stomach gave a wild flip. His heart was beating out of his chest, this situation was taking a turn. Gon likes me. He likes me back. No, he said he's in love with me. I can't believe this. There's no way this is seriously happening… I've gotta be dreaming.
"Are you asking if you can kiss me?" Killua said, though he could hardly hear his own voice past the roaring of his pulse in his ears.
"Hmm." Gon's lips turned up at the corners. That swagger from Alluka's bathroom had returned. "Well, I've been dying to kiss someone since the moment I laid eyes on them. But I was convinced that they'd never be interested in a guy like me. You know, a 'dipshit?'"
Gon stepped closer. Killua swallowed. He backed up, only to find himself against his car. Excitement flared in the pits of his belly. He could see that glint in Gon's eyes… he'd seen it before, when he'd cornered Killua against the bathroom counter.
"I was certain that they'd never give me a chance," Gon continued. He was clearly enjoying himself, like a cat closing in on a mouse. "But apparently… I was mistaken." Killua's back hit the car. Gon pressed closer, placing his feet on either side of Killua's. He stood over him, and boxed him in with one elbow braced against the car window. Killua squeezed his keys in the palm of his hand, trying to focus on the metal digging into his skin–
But that was impossible.
All of Killua's attention was on one place, and that place was Gon… Specifically, Gon's lips. The raven noted this and snaked his tongue across them, watching devilishly as Killua's adam's apple bobbed.
"So, considering this turn of events," Gon said slowly. "I'd really like to kiss this person." He leaned down, so close that his nose leaned against Killua's. Foreign breath dusted his lips, and pale cheeks flushed.
"Killua," Gon breathed. "Can I kiss you?"
Heart in his throat, and not trusting his voice, Killua nodded.
Gon took an excited breath, then lifted his other hand up to take Killua's chin between his thumb and forefinger. He dipped forward, and Killua shut his eyes. Gon brought their lips together in a kiss more delicate than the snow that drifted down around them. All of Killua's being zoned in on Gon, and the soft sensation of his kiss. The entirety of his brain power went to gently kissing Gon back, and it seemed like it was over right when it began.
Killua sucked in a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when Gon pulled back again. His heart was practically melting. I did it. I kissed Gon without the mistletoe. …I really wanna fucking cry–
"Wow," Gon whispered. The dork.
Killua cleared his throat, "So." He was having trouble thinking straight with Gon boxing him against the car like that. Not that he was capable of thinking straight in the first place. "Was that another 'bro kiss?' Or was it for real this time?"
Gon threw his head back and dissolved into laughter. Beautiful, twinkling giggles that sent Killua's heart into a tizzy. Fuck, he'd missed Gon's laugh like the air he needed to breathe.
"Oh, no. Definitely not a bro-kiss," Gon chuckled. "It's an 'I love you' kiss."
Killua's face felt like it was burning. Gon loves me. He returns my feelings.
"Do you know how long I've been wanting to do this?" Gon sighed. He took Killua's face between his hands and kissed him again. This time it was different, rather than soft and tentative it was crushing and full. Gon hummed against Killua's lips, his mouth turned up in a smile.
Gon leaned back an inch and grinned. His eyes were glowing, burning with a kind and loving light that sent Killua weak at the knees.
"Ever since I kissed you the first time I knew I had to do it again," Gon breathed. He slipped his fingers into Killua's silvery hair and knotted his fingers in the strands. "Killua… do you want to kiss me too?"
His heart thundered in his chest.
Yes.
Killua's fingers fell slack, his keys hitting the snow with a twinkling of aluminum chains.
You have no idea…
His hands found the front of Gon's jacket.
Just how much I've been dying for this moment.
Killua yanked Gon back and crushed their lips together with a crack of teeth. "I've been dreaming about this since you crashed into my life and kissed me at that stupid party," Killua ground out against Gon's parted lips.
The raven shuddered and recaptured Killua's mouth. The air between them burst with the built up static after all this time, and the wall between them was finally taken down. They'd busted through it at once, throwing all doubt and hesitation to the wind.
Gon pushed Killua against the car and kissed him over and over. They were sloppy and uncoordinated, and Killua's nose ached as Gon's pressed hard against his. But he didn't give two shits, because he was kissing Gon and nothing mattered but the heat buzzing between them and the passion with each gasp of air that rang out in Killua's ears.
His fingers darted from Gon's jacket to grip his shoulders. Killua dug his fingers into his strong shoulders for leverage and kissed Gon with everything he'd been holding back for so long. The raven leaned his hips forward and pinned Killua against the car with his weight, tilting his head to the side and running his tongue along Killua's lower lip.
Killua shivered and swallowed a groan, swiftly locking his arms around Gon's neck and pulling him closer. Gon's chest hit his, and teeth captured his lip. He couldn't stifle the noise this time, and Gon yanked on Killua's hair to crack his mouth open.
Gon's tongue shot its way into his mouth, and Killua's head was steaming with a smoldering heat. He dug the fingers of one hand into the hair at the nape of Gon's neck and clung for dear life. He slid the other down Gon's back and up his shirt. That skin was scalding hot and rolling with muscle, and Killua reached his arm up the back of Gon's shirt to grip his bare shoulder.
The raven gasped against Killua's tongue as icey air bit his exposed skin. "Killua," he ground out, leaning his hips forward and pressing their bodies flush together. Killua gasped when Gon's dick pressed up against his lower belly, and he felt the stab of his arousal.
Holy shit.
Heat coiled in Killua's groin, and he bucked his hips against Gon's thigh. Killua panted in between steamy kisses as he rutted into the raven's leg. The blood rushed to his dick so fast that he was almost embarrassed, he was at full attention within moments.
Gon growled, the noise shooting straight to Killua's pants, and shuffled about until he hiked Killua up to his level. Gon's hands didn't leave his hair, and the silver haired male clung to his shoulders and lifted his legs. He locked his ankles around Gon's waist, remembering how good that had felt on the bathroom counter, and was well rewarded when Gon bore down on him.
Killua loosed a string of curses as Gon ground against his waist. The car shook back and forth with each thrust, and Gon's feet began to slip, leaving gouges in the snow as he lost focus on keeping his footing. Tears pricked in the corners of Killua's eyes, he saw nothing but white hot light behind his lids.
He dug his nails into the tan skin of Gon's shoulder, drowning between the sensation of his tongue and the pleasure rising in his gut. Fuck, they'd only been at it for a couple of minutes and Killua was already on the edge. At this rate his was gonna–
"Dammit," Gon hissed. He broke the kiss and took a stumbling step to the side, separating them and breaking the moment a split second before Killua creamed himself. Gon groaned as he leaned against the car, pressing his forehead against the frigid metal with one hand fisted against the window and the other still tangled in Killua's hair.
Killua stared off into space as he caught his breath. His skin was still buzzing, and he could feel the blood pumping through his cock with every pulse of his heart. Fuck, he was so close it was painful, why'd Gon have to stop–
Raspy laughter bubbled up from the raven, "Sorry, I had to stop or else I'd cum all over my pants. Didn't think that getting off in a Kroger parking lot would be a very good look for us."
Killua choked on air, "Oh, fuck." They were in a parking lot! Goddammit, how many innocent bystanders had been milling about while they'd been fucking against the outside of Killua's poor, innocent car–
Gon laughed again, his fingers trembling in Killua's hair. The silver haired boy couldn't help but chuckle. Was Gon struggling as much as he was?
"You're really hot, it's a problem," Gon whined.
Killua sputtered, "Don't blame your own pervertedness on me, what the hell did you think you were doing, jumping me in a public parking lot? How many kids do you think are waiting in the car and being scarred for life?"
"It's not all my fault!" Gon cackled. He gave up on trying to stand, choosing instead to turn around and slide against the car to sit down in the snow. Killua huffed and followed suit. His pants were painfully tight, and his dick was still twitching in agony. He willed his arousal to calm the hell down, but Gon's presence at his side was like fire, the heat prickled at his skin and stoked the flames in his belly.
"You're a bad influence on me," Killua complained. He winced as he leaned his head back too fast and it cracked against the car door.
Gon giggled and flopped against Killua. The silver haired boy startled, cheeks flushing as Gon laid his head on his shoulder. "Maybe~ But you love me~"
Killua's face darkened in color. At least the blood was rushing to his face and less concentrated in his dick, he supposed… "Oh shut up," he mumbled.
Gon's laughter echoed throughout the parking lot. The snow had begun to really come down, the flakes thickening and the wind picking up. Killua began to shiver in the cold. He could feel the snowflakes landing in his hair and melting against his cheeks.
"This still doesn't feel real," Gon sighed.
"No. No it does not," Killua agreed.
"So… you've liked me since the beginning too?" Gon asked. Glancing up at Killua from where he laid against his shoulder.
Killua avoided his gaze, he was too damn cute. "Yeah, I mean I guess. I was in denial for a hot second there but I know I was lying to myself."
"God, I wish I'd said something," Gon mumbled.
"Yeah, me too, asshole," Killua retorted. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"I– I don't know," was Gon's lame response. "I was nervous, I guess."
Killua blinked, and then burst out laughing. He felt Gon's questioning eyes on him. "You? Nervous?" Killua giggled, "No way."
"Hey! But I was!" Gon protested. "I didn't realize you liked me that way!"
Killua snorted, "We'll you're a fucking idiot then. Did you seriously not get the hint?"
"Well no," Gon whined. "I thought you were just being friendly! I seriously had no idea, you caught me so off guard when you kissed me out of nowhere like that."
"It's your own fault for being stupid," Killua huffed.
"I guess you're right," Gon laughed.
"So all those times you kissed me under the mistletoe…"
"I was using it as an excuse to kiss you again," Gon admitted.
"You really wanted to kiss me that much?" Killua asked, a smirk playing on his lips. He watched Gon's cheeks flush.
"Well, yeah," Gon mumbled. "Why wouldn't I?" He glanced up at Killua, and this time Killua flicked his eyes down to meet his gaze.
"If it helps," Killua said softly. "I wanted to kiss you too… and stuff."
"Stuff?" Gon prompted with a grin.
Killua broke eye contact, immediately regretting having said anything. "Whatever."
"No! Tell me!" Gon cackled. "What stuff are we talking about here?"
"Stupid stuff," Killua huffed. "Just leave me alone, dammit!"
"Stuff like jerking off in a parking lot?" Gon giggled.
Killua sputtered, "Well, no, that was never on the top of my mind."
"Stuff like…" Gon reached for Killua's hand and slowly laced their fingers together, giving him plenty of time to pull away. "This?"
Killua's heart lurched. He hid his face behind his bangs… he was blushing like crazy. "I guess," he mumbled, gripping Gon's fingers.
"Sooooo, Killua?" Gon asked, his voice having turned all soft and his eyes all warm.
Killua grumbled something incoherent. This was so damned embarrassing…
"Do you wanna go out with me?"
Killua's shoulders hunched up to brush his ears. His heart sang in his chest. "R-right now?"
"Yeah, if you want to!" Gon said, perking up. He sat up from Killua's shoulder and turned to face him in the snow. "Killua, will you go on a date with me, right now? Not a bro date, but a real date."
"A real date?" Killua echoed, unwilling to meet Gon's dazzling campfire eyes. He knew that if he did… he'd melt into a pile of mush right there in the parking lot.
"That's right," Gon said softly, almost nervous. "A… boyfriends date."
Killua's heart skipped a beat. He gripped Gon's hand so hard that it had to have hurt.
"Killua?" Gon asked again.
"Y-yes," he managed. "I'll go on a date with you." I don't believe that a god exists… but if one does then I need to thank them a million times over.
AN: I've been lying to myself. I KNEW this wouldn't be able to stay rated T, godDAMMIT-