Mistletoe x Madness

by initforthelolz

Tacky Hallmark Christmas Movie AU! Killua's a broke college kid working part time at a coffee joint over winter break. His life quickly dissolves into chaos when a drunk stranger kisses him under the mistletoe at a Christmas party. OR Gon accidentally kisses Killua, and now Killua can't get this random stranger out of his head.

15. Waffles and Wet Dreams

AN: Story's not over quite yet! fyi, this fic will have 18 chapters

Also keep in mind that this is NO LONGER RATED T, and THIS CHAPTER IS RESPONSIBLE. If you want the story you read to remain T rated then RUN AWAY AT THE ELIPSES

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Never in Killua's life could he have imagined that he'd be on cloud nine sitting freezing his ass off in the shitty Waffle House by the interstate exit.

But he'd also never imagined that he'd ever go on a date in the first place, so there was that too.

The two of them sat against the window in the back corner next to the neon-lit jukebox. It was lit like a public school restroom inside, with the parking lot on the other side of the glass dim and void of streetlights, the only light the reflection of the yellow sign off the wet pavement. Salt sparkled on the sidewalk that wrapped around the building, and the corners of the windows were frosted over thanks to cheap insulation.

It was cold as fucking hell inside, and Killua felt like grime was sticking to the soles of his shoes from the waxy red floor tiles. The table was still covered in crumbs and rings of condensation from the previous customers at this table, and the menus were crusted in some spots and waxy in a similar manner to the floor.

Ah, Waffle House. A classic.

Sizzling from the grill drifted throughout the dreary and fluorescent lit restaurant, and two cups of coffee sat steaming on the table before Gon and Killua. Plastic Coca-Cola glasses sat scratched and well used alongside the coffee, filled with chocolate milk on Killua's part and classic Coke on Gon's. Because double the caffeine at almost ten thirty at night was always a responsible decision.

It was cold enough in the building that Killua's fingers had gone numb, but the coffee was scalding enough to burn his tongue off. The windows were lined with cheap Christmas lights, and garland was scattered about the bar. It was silent save for the scratching of cheap silverware on worn porcelain, and Gon and Killua's only companions were the late night truck drivers sitting across the restaurant.

There had been an awkward, tentative silence stretched between him and Gon since they'd left Killua's car behind and came out here. It was the only restaurant that was still open, and right off the exit that would bring the two of them back into the University's side of the city too.

It was all out in the open. All this time they'd spent ducking around their feelings and pretending that there was nothing else there, it was over. They'd confessed, and now…

A spread of greasy breakfast food was delivered to their table. Enormous pancakes, greasy sausage links, and scrambled eggs that somehow managed to be watery. Yet all of it had the audacity to taste absolutely amazing.

Killua pushed the whipped cream around the surface of his pancake stack, watching bemusedly as Gon absolutely coated his entire plate with salt, pepper, and tabasco sauce. He always did that, Killua had noticed. So many condiments. It was doubtful that ketchup tasted any good on waffles, but it was clearly not stopping Gon.

I'm on a date with Gon.

He couldn't stop reminding himself about it. It was insane. Killua was still in disbelief that everything had worked out like this. Killua had finally confessed, Gon returned his feelings, and now they were hanging out as… as…

Honestly, Killua didn't know what they were right now.

Gon had said that they were going on a "boyfriends date," but it wasn't like they'd actually agreed to start dating or anything. Actually, after Killua had agreed, they hadn't talked, like, at all.

And what was there to say?

The aftershocks of their argument in the Kroger parking lot were still reverberating between them, as well as an intense pressure in the air that made Killua's skin hot and stomach flip. His arousal hadn't exactly gone all the way down. He wasn't hard anymore, but his heart would still pound with excitement every time he looked Gon's way or caught the raven looking his.

Killua swallowed a mouthful of saliva as he cut up his pancakes. This thing between them… it was uncharted. It had remained unsaid for the entire time they'd known each other, and now that they couldn't use mistletoe as an excuse to forget about it and move on (though Killua could jump for joy because of that)... Things were different.

How do I act around Gon, now that he knows that I'm in love with him? Now that I know that he's in love with me? Now that we just about orgasmed in a fucking Kroger parking lot after nothing but making out and humping against my car door?!

I've been hiding it for so long, and he has too. But now there's nothing to hide anymore, and everything feels weird.

Luckily, Gon was the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry, again."

Killua sighed. "I already told you it's fine," he chuckled, still unable to meet Gon's gaze. He'd react anywhere from blushing to bricking up and he really did not want to see where on that spectrum he would fall right about now.

"But…"

"It's behind us now, right?" Killua mumbled. He really wanted to stop talking about this. "I was hiding my feelings too, remember? We're both idiots. You're just a bigger idiot."

"Yeah," Gon said shyly, pushing eggs in circles around his plate and leaving streaks of tabasco. Neither of them had touched any of their food. "So, uh… why didn't you tell me?"

Killua blinked, opening his mouth to choke up some sort of response to that question–

"I mean, I didn't confess because I didn't think you'd like me back," Gon babbled before Killua could speak. "I was trying to get you to like me because I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything by making a move to soon and then I realized that I really liked being your friend and I didn't want to make anything weird because there was no way a cool person like you could ever like an idiot like me and then when you kissed me I was so confused and–"

"-Gon!" Killua interrupted. "Breath."

The raven shut up and sucked down a breath of air. His cheeks flushed, and his hand found the back of his neck.

Killua chuckled under his breath. Whenever Gon got embarrassed or uncertain of himself, he'd just start talking. And he wouldn't stop. Killua had learned this new detail about him thanks to all this bullshit… and it was really cute, though a tad bit annoying.

"For the record…" Killua sighed. Fuck, he was super bad at this whole confront-your-emotions thing. "You info dump when you're nervous." Gon slouched in his seat and smiled sheepishly, his cheeks darkening. Killua smiled. "I bottle things up and refuse to accept my emotions when I'm nervous," Killua continued.

"So…" Killua huffed and pushed his hand through his hair. He hated confronting his problems! "When you kissed me out of nowhere I decided to ignore it because I didn't want to confront the fact that I liked someone because of something stupid like that. Then we became friends, and I… kept… ignoring it and hiding my feelings."

Gon leaned in, hanging off Killua's every word.

"I, uh," Killua felt his cheeks start to heat up. "But you kept kissing me again and again and I wasn't able to properly bottle up all these feelings. You kept dragging them back to the surface until eventually…" Killua sighed. "I was in love with you and I couldn't ignore it anymore."

Gon's eyes shimmered, Killua couldn't bring himself to look at them head on.

"When I realized that I couldn't pretend I didn't feel the way that I did," he continued, "I decided to try and scout out your feelings on the subject. Get you to fall for me too. I kissed you because I thought you returned my feelings."

Killua fixed Gon with a narrow eyed glance. "And I was right, but someone had to freak the fuck out and make me thing that I was wrong!"

"Uh, sorry about that," Gon laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, you'd better be," Killua huffed. His face still turned red every time he thought about that embarrassing moment. Even though he now realized that he'd misread the situation, it still hadn't stopped stinging.

"It's kinda funny," Gon chuckled. "We were both thinking the same thing the whole time! But neither of us had the balls to step up and say anything about it."

"Yup," Killua sighed. "Like I said, idiots. But mostly you."

"Yeah, mostly me," Gon agreed with a laugh. "I'm glad that we finally cleared it all up though." Killua flicked his eyes up to meet Gon's, feeling that earnest gaze like the heat of the sun beating down on his face.

Those eyes looked so sincere. So… soft. "I love you," Gon said, "And I'm glad I don't have to hide it anymore."

Killua's stomach gave a spectacular flip. He quickly hid beneath his bangs. He couldn't handle Gon being all forward and cute like this, goddammit. "Yeah, whatever," he mumbled, face flaming. But…

He wrung his hands in his lap.

I can't stop smiling.

"It's crazy hearing you say that," Killua murmured. He was feeling all sappy, disgusting. "I was convinced that I was the only one… I thought you were straight."

Gon snorted, "So did I."

Killua's head snapped up. "Wait what?"

Gon threw his head back and laughed. He looked so… carefree. He'd been so stiff this whole time, but now he was starting to loosen back up. Killua could feel his heart melting in his chest. Gon was so beautiful when he laughed.

"I thought I was straight my whole life!" Gon said, grinning like mad. He was still leaning across the table, propped up on his elbows and looking at Killua with this funny expression in his eyes. "Then I woke up with a killer hangover and the hazy memory of a dude's kiss on my lips. I actually screamed! Scared the hell out of Zushi! He came busting into my room freaking the fuck out and asking what was wrong! I grabbed him by the shoulders and yelled: 'Zushi, I did something gay!'"

Gon cackled, and Killua couldn't help but giggle along with him.

He could picture that entire exchange very vividly in his mind.

The raven sighed contentedly, "Zushi was so smug, I can't believe him. For the first time in my life I was questioning my sexuality, and he was not going to let me roll over and ignore it! I went to Beanz so I could clear my head, and you know the rest."

Killua smiled to himself, picturing it. Picturing Gon. That idiot, kissing a guy dunk then waking up the next morning and totally losing his mind. Imagining the severity of Gon's first official Gay Panic when he'd seen Killua behind the counter was better than hard drugs.

"You were my gay awakening," Gon said, resting his chin on his hand. He was smiling at Killua all soft and gross. Fuck, this was so embarrassing.

"Happy to be of service," Killua muttered, his filter utterly destroyed in the face of Gon's Gonness. The raven cackled, and Killua blinked when he realized he'd accidentally been funny. Whoops.

"So, what are you?" Killua asked, now dying to know. I've been at war over his sexuality since that first kiss. I've gotta know, what's the final verdict?

Gon tapped his fingers against his lips. Killua struggled to keep his eyes from being drawn downwards. The raven hummed, "Still not entirely sure."

Killua swallowed his whine of disappointment.

"Zushi thinks that I'm bisexual like he is," Gon mused.

"You been with girls before or something?" Killua asked. What exactly was this feeling… It was a mixture between jealousy and horny curiosity.

"I have," Gon admitted. "All throughout highschool and freshman year and stuff."

"Oh yeah?" Killua asked, still being egged on by jealousy and horny curiosity. Gon was clearly a very experienced kisser… was he good at other things too? "What did you like… do?"

You see? Horny curiosity.

"Kissing at parties and stuff," Gon said. "I've never been in a relationship before, though. I was offered… but it just never felt… right? I mean, I could have easily said yes and the girls obviously liked me but… I dunno. I didn't wanna make things official."

"Makes sense," Killua nodded.

Gon smirked. "I'm not a virgin, since you're clearly dying to know."

Killua sputtered, face turning a bright red. "Wha– I don't– okay fine, that's what I was curious about."

Gon snickered, and Killua vengefully stabbed a pancake with his fork.

"I haven't slept around a whole ton," Gon said, always one to prattle on. "I've only ever been with three girls before, actually. But I have had sex a lot. Two of them were situationships, so that's why. And I slept with Zazan once."

Killua spit coffee across the table. "You WHAT?!" Okay, now this was jealousy. Plain and simple.

Gon was losing his shit.

"Are you going to explain yourself, or what?!" Killua choked out as he coughed violently.

Gon slapped the tabletop, tears poking up in the corners of his eyes. "It sounds so crazy, right? But I have! That was a drunken decision, and I swear we're friends and nothing else. Thinking about her in that way is just…" Gon shuddered. "She's just a friend, ya know?"

Killua glared. "So why did you do it, then?"

"Drunken decision," Gon nodded.

"That's not a good excuse!" Killua complained.

Gon laughed. "I know, it was super irresponsible, but because we were already friends it felt like maybe I'd actually be able to pursue an official relationship afterwards."

Killua blinked. "What happened then? Why didn't you?"

"She called me gay."

"What?!"

Gon cackled. "Yeah! We didn't even go all the way before she shoved me off and told me that I was gay."

"What?! Why?! How did she know?!"

"I don't know!" Gon wheezed. "She was super drunk and neither of us remember - or want to remember - very much. She said she's never messing around with friends ever again!" Gon sighed, leaning back against the booth. "Naturally she told all of my friends when we got up that morning. They were disappointed, but she's just my friend, and that's that. A total bitch, but you know how it is. Everyone thought that me and Zazan were gonna be a thing, even me! But it just… it wasn't it, you know? We both moved on like it was nothing, it was insane! Everyone kept teasing me about being gay afterwards, though. I'd never been told no by either of the other two girls before, and I'd certainly never entertained the fact that I was anything but straight. I never thought much of it, ignored it completely. Like I said, I thought I was straight."

"You thought," Killua repeated smugly.

"I thought," Gon echoed with a laugh. "My whole life I thought I liked girls. I've slept with them and stuff, and I've never looked at a dude twice. But then there's you. You're the exception, and I… I've never been in love with anyone before. I thought I liked those two girls, but now that I have you I just… I don't know. Do I really like girls? Or have I been delusional this whole time?" Gon chuckled, though it sounded forced.

"Hey, don't get all sad about it," Killua reassured. "It's okay. I already knew you were an idiot, so it doesn't surprise me if you were too stupid to realize you were gay–"

"-Hey! Rude!" Gon laughed. He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm trying to figure it out, okay? Like I said, Zushi thinks I'm bi. My entire friend group is convinced that I'm gay on no evidence whatsoever aside from something Zazan said while she was stoned and a hair away from alcohol poisoning. But me? I'm not sure."

"That's alright," Killua said. "You don't have to know something like that for certain."

"I know… it's just bugging me, ya know?" Gon sighed. "I thought I was straight my whole life but I've never felt such intense emotions before. And when I finally do, they're for a man! How did… how did you know?"

"That I was gay?" Killua asked.

Gon nodded.

"Honey, I was born under a queer star."

"What?" Gon laughed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know," Killua snorted. "I don't really know how to explain how I figured out I was gay. I always just… knew. I hate people, so I don't like, like people very often. I was the most antisocial kid you'd ever meet, but I knew that I was gay since I was thirteen. I always felt different from my other brothers, so it just clicked."

"Lucky," Gon pouted.

Killua barked a laugh. "It's because I'm smarter than you~"

"Yeah, sure," Gon drawled. "So. You actually know your sexuality. Who was your first crush?"

"I'm not telling you that," Killua said, nose stuck up.

"Aw, why not?!" Gon whined.

"Because. I refuse," Killua replied. And besides. How could I call any of those people crushes when that faint feeling didn't hold a candle to what I feel for you?

"Well… what was your first time like?" Gon asked. His eyes were wavering, curious yet uncertain. Which was uncharacteristic of him. He was also blushing again, like he was reluctant to ask. Yet he managed to look desperate for a response. "I– I've only ever been with girls," Gon babbled. "I've never been with a guy, so… I mean, I know what happens but…"

Killua scratched his cheek, sinking lower in his booth. "I, uh. I've never had sex before," he grumbled.

Gon blinked, his jaw hitting the table. "Wait, WHAT?! You haven't?! I– How?!"

"I hate people, remember?!" Killua exclaimed. "God, do you really think I'd go through the trouble of talking to someone long enough to do something like that?! You're the exception, I don't go around fucking guys in parking lots in my spare time."

Gon floundered on the spot, his face turning red. "But! But! I thought– But I thought for sure that you'd been with all kinds of people! How have you not– How are people not falling over themselves to get with you?!"

"I avoid human interaction at all costs," Killua mumbled. "You… you're the only one. When you kissed me drunk, that was my first kiss."

"WHAT?!" Gon screamed, drawing glares from their fellow patrons and a concerned glance from the employees behind the counter.

"Quiet down!" Killua hissed, holding a hand up to shield his face and glaring daggers across the table and Gon.

"I kissed you the first time while I was DRUNK?!" Gon whispered… he was terrible at whispering. Killua chucked a ball of crumpled straw paper at his face to get him to check his volume, like god.

"Yes, not so loud!" Killua scolded.

"I can't believe I did that," Gon breathed. He looked horrified.

"Why do you look so freaked out?" Killua demanded. "It's not a big deal–"

"-But it is a big deal!" Gon whined.

Killua rolled his eyes, of course Gon would be a romantic. "No, it's not. I don't care about that, so don't go freaking out over it."

"But it was your first kiss," Gon said dramatically. "And I was drunk!" He buried his face in his hands. "Killua I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed–"

"-And you weren't embarrassed about kissing me drunk before?" he snapped.

"I kiss people drunk all the time!" Gon whimpered. "But not for the first time!"

Killua rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I– whatever. Listen." He leaned across the table to drag Gon's hands off his face. His fingers tingled where they touched Gon's, and he felt his cheeks start to stain pink. "I don't care about first kisses or crap like that. So don't start feeling guilty about it."

Gon gazed back at Killua with upturned eyebrows and guilty eyes. His hands were limp in Killua's fingers, as if he was too scared to move them.

"I…" Killua mentally shot himself in the foot and forced himself to hold direct eye contact. Unspeakable, he knows. "It doesn't matter if you were drunk the first time you kissed me. If it had been someone else then I would have been mad, because they would have kissed me before you got the chance to. But it was you. You were drunk, but I don't care about that. My first kiss was with you, and that's all that matters."

Gon gawked at Killua, eyes shimmering like stars and wavering like pots of honey.

If he kept looking at him like that then Killua's heart was going to explode. "I don't care about first kisses and junk anyways," he grumbled, needing to break the intensity of the moment. "All that sentimental bullshit is dumb, so… don't kick yourself, it doesn't matter to me."

"Awww, Ki-llua!" Gon whimpered.

The boy in question dropped the raven's hands and retreated back to his booth. Gon was too potent. "Whatever," he mumbled.

"You're adorable," Gon cooed, smiling dopily as he gazed at Killua from across the table.

Killua's face turned bright red, right on cue. "Shut up," he complained.

"I really love you," Gon sighed, saying it more to himself than to Killua. "God, I can't believe this is real! We're on a non-bro date and everything. Killua, this makes me so happy. You make me so happy."

"God, you're so embarrassing!" Killua snapped. "Don't just say stuff like that."

Gon giggled. "I can't help it! I've been holding back for so long… there's no way I can go back to pretending while I'm around you, not anymore." Those campfire eyes turned hot. Killua could feel the crackle in the air. It was like they had a live wire tied between them, and electricity shot down one side and right back across.

Killua swallowed. "I… yeah." I feel the same. I can't go back, not now. Not when I have him for myself, right here within my reach.

He peeked up through silvery bangs. There Gon was, right across from him as always. Only now, Killua saw his own desire reflected in those fire colored eyes. There was so much love in his gaze that Killua was slapping himself for not having noticed it before. Yet, at the same time, there was a dark intensity that made Killua shiver. It was so hot.

Gon was very attractive, and Killua had been very aware of that from the start. At first he had seemed unattainable as even a friend, hell, an acquaintance. Just the object of Killua's imaginations that he tried to convince himself was nothing more than a drunken accident. But now there was a feedback loop between them.

Those rugged looks and emotive eyes had tempted him from the very beginning. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to say that he hadn't really looked at Gon before he'd admitted he was developing feelings for the guy. And now Killua found a charged energy buzzing off of Gon. When he looked at him with eyes on fire, Killua could feel his heart start to pound. He wanted this.

I want him.

Killua felt a drop of heat trickle down his spine and pool in the shadows of his gut. The budding sprout of arousal was still there, lurking in the shadows. It'd been there since day one, and had done nothing but grow since Gon had kissed him in Alluka's bathroom. Now it pulled at Killua, egged him on. His heart rattled against his ribs with every pulse. His skin still felt like a live wire since Gon had blue balled him in the parking lot, and thinking about it made the problem ever more persistent.

Gon obviously liked him, yes. He was in love with him and had been more than willing to fling himself over the edge with Killua not two hours ago. But… this ache at the base of Killua's spine, stirring in his heart and making him squirm. Could Gon feel it too?

They'd been sitting stiff and staring into each other's eyes for only god knew how long.

Yes. I can feel it. He wants me so bad.

Gon passed his debit card over to their waitress without breaking eye contact with Killua. They'd finished their meals, when had that happened? Was it already over, already time to part ways? Killua's pulse thundered in his ears. His heart ached. He didn't want to go.

The raven signed the check, and the two of them picked up their jackets and left the building. Outside the snow had started to pile up. The salt on the pavement wouldn't be able to keep up for much longer, Killua had a feeling that he'd be snowed in tomorrow morning. Driving would be a living nightmare.

Once the door closed behind them and they stepped out into the cold, Gon paused. Standing on the sidewalk, watching the cars whiz by on the interstate. Killua stood beside him, just outside the window of the Waffle House.

It was quiet out here. It felt empty, peaceful. The air stunk of marijuana and burnt rubber, but the moon shone brightly overhead through a gap in wispy snow clouds. The snow on the ground twinkled in the light, and the gap of untouched powder that stretched between the dirty parking lot and the chaos of the interstate looked almost like a mirage. Too perfect to lie in the midst of this urban jungle.

The wind chill was like a dying breath, icing Killua's nose and sending the fat snowflakes sprawling as they fell. The snow tangled in Killua's hair and collected on Gon's black hoodie. The Dodge sat waiting for them in the parking lot, moonlight reflecting off the spotless paint job as it collected snow in the cold.

Gon was humming a faint melody under his breath, Killua recognized one of the guitar riffs from their trip over here.

God, Gon.

Killua glanced up at him. He looked so beautiful that it hurt, eyes reflecting the moonlight. The bloody red of taillights from the interstate playing across the panes of his face. Killua didn't want this moment to end. Because with it, so would his first romantic date with this boy. This incredible fool that had turned his entire life on its head.

He could still taste Gon's lips on his tongue, could still feel the weight of his body like a phantom touch.

I love him so much, I just wanna… I just…

What was it that Killua wanted? What could possibly ease the longing in his chest… satiate the ache that stirred in the pits of his being?

"Hey, Killua?" Gon murmured, his voice quiet against the night.

"What is it?"

Gon was silent for a few moments, in thought. Eyes darting as they watched cars whiz by. "I know that I've never been with a guy before. And I know that I don't even know if I'm gay or not. But I do know that I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I…" He turned to face Killua. "I'd like for you to be my boyfriend. To start dating, and be together. I've never dated anyone before, and I have no idea how any of this works… but if it's you, then I finally want to be in a serious relationship."

It was as if Gon's words had ripped Killua's heart right out of his chest. He held it in his hands, still beating and on the verge of bursting to pieces because this. This was what it was that Killua wanted.

He took a deep breath and stood face to face with Gon. The guy looked more vulnerable than he'd ever seen him in his life. God, what must he have been thinking? He'd never dated anyone his entire life. He'd been comfortable in his sexuality until a mere few weeks ago, when he'd suddenly fallen for a guy. And now, here he was, head over heels in love and drowning in uncharted waters.

But he wasn't afraid, not by a long shot. Gon wanted to forge ahead, he wanted to reach out and take what was presented before him. He was ready to embrace whatever this meant about him without fear, all because it was Killua.

Where does he get off… being this perfect.

Killua wasn't sure how he managed it, but he forced the words through the lump in his throat. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend."

It was like flipping a lightswitch. The tense expression on Gon's face turned happy, so incredibly happy. His grin wasn't splitting at the seams, but rather a soft smile. Something small, untouchable like the snow that glittered under the silent light of the moon.

And it was the happiest expression Killua had ever seen Gon make.

"Thank you," the raven said, his words reverent and choppy.

He was such a dork.

"So… what are we?" Killua whispered, even though he was fairly certain he knew the answer to the question. After all this time, all this ducking around each other. Was it really..?

Gon stepped forward and drew Killua up into a warm embrace. Killua melted against him, sighing against his shoulder as Gon's familiar scent choked his senses and strong arms locked around his body.

"Well, I can't say what you are," Gon said against Killua's ear. "But I know that I'm in love with my best friend, and now I'm going to be the happiest boyfriend in the entire world."

Killua's breath hitched in his throat, he locked his arms in a vice grip around Gon's chest. "Yeah," he breathed. "Me– me too."

Gon swiftly pulled Killua's face towards his and kissed him passionately on the lips. Killua held him close and leaned into his kiss. Now he could finally do it. He could kiss Gon whenever he wanted, no mistletoe involved.

Killua was officially the happiest man alive.

Gon broke the kiss with a joyous laugh. "Come on!" he said breathlessly, his words blowing puffs of steam through the frigid air as he held Killua close. "I'll drive you home before we get stranded at a Waffle House."

"Let's go," Killua agreed. He couldn't stop smiling. The grin was glued all over his face and there was no tearing it off.

Gon grabbed his hand and skipped towards the car. Killua tagged along beside him, lacing their fingers together and grinning like a fool under the silvery light of the moon.

…

Gon drove Killua back to his apartment, slipping across snowy roads like a pro. Snow pelted the windshield and ice began to form in patches in the middle of unsuspecting intersections, yet the city streets were busy as ever.

Taxi's darted around, picking up passengers hailing from the surrounding streets. The sidewalks were crowded to all hell with people shopping into late hours of the night, only leaving once signs were flipped and voices over intercoms ushered them to check out their purchases before they were hunted for sport.

Gon took the long way back to Killua's apartment. The two of them sat in forty-five minutes of University traffic, slowly crawling down Limeiro Boulevard. It was the street a block over from the outskirts of Yorknew University's property, and was chock full with bars and nightclubs. It was party central for all the students, and naturally rife with traffic.

The chaos of the neon lit streets was deafening, with drunken people stumbling from one location to the other. Taxi's parallel parked bumper to bumper, hurrying to pick up the influx of drunken patrons leaving the bars and willing to tip more than entirely necessary. Whoops and cheers were audible the next street over. It was a hop skip and a jump from Christmas Eve, and everyone was out tonight.

Gon and Killua took the traffic with grins on their faces, the longer it took to get back the better. Neither one of them wanted the night to be over. They crawled through traffic with Gon's windows rolled down and the speakers turned all the way up, laughing as they riled up the people on the streets with heavy drums and electric guitar.

Killua held Gon's hand over the center console, the bass rattling in his chest and a wild grin on his face. He'd never seen anyone so enthusiastic about traffic, and Gon's laughter was contagious even to their fellow late-night drivers.

It was midnight by the time they finally made it back to Killua's apartment, and the night felt welcoming rather than cold and hostile. The two of them skipped through the slush coated parking lot, kicking hunks of ice and dragging their feet in reluctance to step inside. They raced up the flights of stairs to Killua's floor, and made it to his front step breathless and hunched over.

Killua laughed as he fished for his key, legs burning from the sudden activity and heart singing in his chest from the sheer elation of spending time with Gon. He straightened once he finished his search, and reluctantly faced the lock.

Gon sighed as his giggles fizzled out, stepping over to Killua and standing shoulder to shoulder as they faced the door.

The hallway was quiet, the lights dim and the air caught between the cold of the outside and the heat of the individual apartments. Faced with Killua's empty hallway and finally out of the public eye, the air between them fizzled with the tiniest hit of electricity.

It was silent, no more distractions. No parking lots, restaurants, or hostile traffic. It was time to say goodnight but…

Gon's finally mine. I don't have to hold back anymore.

Killua could hear his heartbeat. Hesitation stretched out between them, heavy with the intense energy left over from Alluka's bathroom and their more recent stunt in the parking lot. Unfortunately, it looked like it was time to say goodbye, didn't it?

The two turned to face each other, and Gon opened his arms with a grin.

Killua stepped enthusiastically into his embrace, winding his arms around Gon's strong chest and burying his nose in the front of his hoodie. He was swallowed up in the raven's crushing embrace, squeezed so hard that he could barely breathe.

The heat of Gon's body was intoxicating. Killua's pulse fluttered. That sprout of arousal whined in the depths of his belly. He had Gon right outside the door of his apartment, and unlike all the other times, this time Killua could call him his.

I want him. The thought had been circulating in Killua's mind all night long. Hell, it had been whispering to him since that time in the bathroom. When he'd felt Gon for the first time and realized that it hadn't been enough, he wanted more.

The air between them was silent, heavy. With nothing left standing in between them, the wire that stretched from one to the other sparked in the quiet of the hall. Killua's heart began to beat faster. He wanted to finish what they'd started. He wanted to have Gon all to himself.

Killua felt the heat first, it lit his heart like a candle flame and sent melted wax dripping down his spine where it sent warmth to bloom in the pit of his belly. He tilted his chin up and pressed his nose against the side of Gon's neck, inhaling against tan skin and sending his exhale skittering across his collarbones.

Gon's swallow was audible, and Killua's mouth turned up at the corners.

He slackened his arms, hands drifting down Gon's back. Killua slid his hands across Gon's ass, making the breath catch in the raven's throat before he slipped his thumbs through Gon's belt loops and yanked his hips forward. He jerked Gon's body against his, and stood on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear:

"It's really quiet in there… could you walk me inside?"

Gon's hands clamped around Killua's shoulders. "Sure," he breathed.

Tension burst to life on Killua's doorstep. The air was charged with all the buildup from these past few weeks. Killua couldn't believe they'd waited this long.

He smiled against Gon's ear. "Thanks, you're a lifesaver."

Killua quickly turned in Gon's embrace, notably whipping around before he could be caught up in a kiss. Gon's disappointment was palpable, and Killua couldn't help but snicker under his breath.

He shoved the key into his lock (with far more confidence than a man concerned about entering a dark apartment, as he'd led Gon to believe), and slipped inside. The moment the two of them crossed over the threshold, the wire between them snapped.

Killua slammed the door closed after Gon entered and immediately pushed his back against it. His palms hit the wood on either side of Gon's body, and he shot up on the tips of his toes to crush their lips together. Gon gasped against his mouth, body going rigid in surprise before he melted into the kiss and grabbed Killua's waist.

Groaning as Gon tugged their hips together, Killua swiftly turned the deadlock. He kissed Gon with urgency, determined to burn through everything they'd been holding back without thinking twice. He shoved his tongue through the crease in Gon's lips, and shivered as he was met in the middle.

Gon's tongue was insistent, sliding against his in a heated rush. Killua gasped through his nose between kisses and exhaled against Gon's plying mouth. His fingers fumbled across Gon's shoulders, pulling at the fabric of his hoodie and searching for exposed skin.

There was none to speak of beneath the layers of cotton and polyester, and the furnace growing in Killua's belly turned his skin to liquid fire. Sweat gathered at the small of his back and soaked into his bangs as he shoved his tongue as far back into Gon's mouth as he could reach. Clawing to get closer, skin buzzing to feel his touch.

Gon's hands were in a vice around Killua's hips, pulling him forward and pressing them flush together. He ground against Killua's stomach, pushing back in a challenge to his position against the door. The shorter responded in turn, jerking his hips forward and keeping Gon pinned with his weight.

He pressed his hips against Gon's, the height difference putting his groin where the taller's hip connected with his thigh. He slid his waist against Gon's body, the fire growing in his pants and sending blood to his dick.

Gon thrust his knee between Killua's legs and grabbed his ass, forcibly grinding Killua's hips against his. Killua's vision turned white behind his lids as cock twitched to life in response. He groaned, and latched onto Gon's hood. Fingers white knuckled, Killua yanked absentmindedly on the hoodie, a surprising bolt of heat striking his core when the raven gagged against his lips.

Killua gasped and quickly let go, fingers finding Gon's shoulders instead. "Sorry," he grunted, breaking the kiss to get a word in.

Gon actually moaned, and surged forward to take control of the kiss. "It's– fine," he managed, already sucking Killua's lower lip between his teeth. "Just don't– don't strangle me to death, alright?" he joked, Killua felt the chuckle in his own chest.

He gave a breathless laugh, and quickly moved his hands to Gon's chest to keep him against the door. He pushed him backwards, this time the raven relaxing and letting Killua stay in control. Gon kissed him lazily, the sound slick and wet as his fingers strayed to Killua's hair. His dick was hard against Killua's lower belly, the tension in his shoulders loosening by the minute.

Lost in the intoxicating heat of Gon's body, Killua wondered what exactly the guy was feeling in this moment. He'd said it himself, he was caught between straight and bisexual. He was completely lost, didn't even know if what he'd felt for all those women was real or not. Yet he was in love with a man, diving head first into a relationship with absolutely no clue what had gotten him here.

It must have been terrifying, having your entire self-image turned on its head like that. Was he scared? Going this far, as he was? Making out was one thing, but the passion in his kiss and the heavy sensation between them told Killua that this was something else entirely.

Gon had just told Killua that he'd never gone all the way with a man, that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He was just chasing his heart, following Killua as they jumped off the ledge and sunk into thick, uncharted waters.

Does he want this? Killua couldn't help but wonder. Is he really sure, can he handle this right now?

Killua's mind began to step between him and the situation at hand. His heart and body still lost in sensation and heat, but the candle flickered under the chilling breeze of his thoughts. His worry. Worry for Gon. Was this the best course of action? Sure, he wanted to go all the way without a second thought, but was that what Gon needed?

Well, Killua could worry and hesitate all that he wanted. But he would soon come to realize that he'd been greatly mistaken in doubting Gon's trailblazing attitude.

With a gravelly moan of "Killua," crawling up Gon's throat, a hand left silvery hair and grabbed the bulge in Killua's jeans.

He gasped and instinctively jerked forward, hips grinding against Gon's palm. The raven's breathing turned shallow, a whine rising in his throat. He rubbed his thumb over Killua's aching cock, urging a bead of precum to bubble up from the tip where it soaked into the fabric of his pants.

Well then. Someone was certainly enthusiastic.

Silly to have doubted him.

Killua didn't know any hesitant questioning guys who'd grab another dude's cock without a passing thought. He laughed throatily against Gon's slickened lips, and arched into the pressure of his palm.

The raven gasped at Killua's instantaneous reaction, and inched his fingers downwards to cup his balls through the constraining denim. Killua choked and dug his fingers into Gon's shoulders, hanging off him and all but sitting down on his extended knee.

Fuck, that was hot.

Killua pressed against Gon's hand and took his lower lip between his teeth, biting down until the rumble of the raven's groan and the coppery taste of blood sent his head spinning. He broke the kiss, leaving Gon gasping as he drug his mouth across his jaw to kiss the pulse point on the side of his neck.

He teasingly licked the fragile skin and dragged a tooth along the side of Gon's neck–

"Not where people can see it!" Gon whined, using the hand in Killua's hair to shove his head downwards. "I have to be in public, you know," he panted.

Well he didn't tell me not to do it, Killua thought with a sly chuckle.

His fingers reached up for the zipper of Gon's hoodie, slowly pulling it down and teasing him with the gravelly whine of the metal. Killua grabbed the collar of Gon's t-shirt and pulled it down, revealing his collarbones and the top of his sculpted chest.

The pressure of Gon's fingers egging him on, Killua latched his mouth onto the skin at the tip of that left collarbone. The skin was thin as paper where the bone poked through, and Killua was confident in his ability to leave a bruise that would last at least a week.

Killua licked gently against the skin, before pressing an open mouthed kiss and sucking in time to the bucks of his hips into Gon's hand. The raven groaned and strained against the door, tucking his chin around Killua's shoulder as he ground his hips against nothing. He'd separated their bodies by grabbing Killua's dick, he had no one to blame but himself.

The silver haired man chuckled wickedly as he released Gon's skin with a pop, giving his hand a slow thrust to remind him exactly what he was missing out on. Gon growled and dug his fingernails across Killua's scalp, body tight as a wire.

His groin burned with pleasure, though the rest of his body still tingled with longing to feel Gon's skin on his. Killua slid his arms down the front of Gon's chest and brought them to his waist. The raven's breath hitched in his throat, body trembling as he made an effort to keep his hips still.

Killua didn't know how he was managing to keep his head on straight through all this, but he'd watched enough porn to know what he wanted to do.

He pushed Gon's knee back down with one hand and (reluctantly) removed the hand from his bulge with the other. Gon's breathing sped up, shallow breaths echoing in the silence of Killua's foyer.

He lowered himself to his knees, and Gon sobbed where he stood.

"Shit. Killua, Killua please, oh my god–" he babbled, fists clenching as he pressed his back hard against the door to relieve the tension in his body.

Killua kneeled at Gon's feet, fingers shaking with excitement as he reached for the button of his jeans. His dick was throbbing against his pants, the memory of Gon's cock - hard because of him - still fresh on his mind. He undid Gon's jeans, folding the halves of the zipper down to find his underwear tented and already wet.

Holy shit.

He felt Gon's eyes on him, saw his legs shaking. Killua reached his hands up and slipped the button on the front of his boxers undone. He slid his fingers inside, breath hitching in his throat as he pulled him out.

Gon threw his head back against the door and tried to swallow a moan, a strangled noise bubbling past his lips instead. Killua panted as he held Gon's dick in his hand, his own pressing painfully against his pants. Of all the days to wear skinny jeans.

Killua swallowed, his mouth starting to water. Never thought I'd see the day I start drooling over a fucking cock.

…I can definitely fit the entire thing in my mouth.

Yeah. Definitely.

He leaned forward and slowly licked the bead of precum from the tip of Gon's dick. The raven yelled, slamming his head against the door. Killua startled, gag reflex kicking in and making him swallow. He flicked his eyes up to Gon, who had stuffed his fist into his mouth.

Killua narrowed his eyes, "What, has no one ever sucked your dick before?"

Gon's face turned bright red like someone had flipped a light switch. "Uh– No, people have, I just– Ignore me!"

Killua chuckled, watching Gon shiver as his breath skated across the flushed head of his cock. Well, I've never sucked anyone's dick before. He's clearly losing his mind, so hopefully he doesn't notice if I fuck something up.

No time like the present to put a dick in your mouth, right? Killua mentally shrugged, and just went for it. Oddly enough, he was just as excited to suck Gon off as Gon himself was. He wrapped three fingers around the base of Gon's cock to hold the fabric of his underwear back, pinky out to be polite.

It was a wonder that Killua hadn't frozen up and started second guessing himself, but he'd never wanted to lick something so much in his life. So he did. He licked across the tip again, half-aware of Gon groaning around the fist he'd shoved in his mouth. Sensitive there I guess?

Killua closed his lips around the head and pulled it into his mouth, resting it on his tongue as he adjusted to the head-spinning sensation of having Gon in his mouth. He tightened his fingers around the base, and felt Gon twitch against his tongue.

Fuck.

Killua leaned forward on his knees, pulling more inside and grabbing Gon's thigh to steady himself. The raven whined into his palm, his other hand flying over to the doorknob to balance himself. The door rattled as Gon's body shook, he was clearly at a war to keep himself still. Killua felt a chill run down his spine and shoot straight to his groin. God, this was something else.

He sucked Gon further inside, moving slowly and with caution. Killua felt a drop of liquid plop against the back of his tongue, and he was swallowing instinctively before he could stop himself.

Gon moaned, his hand going white knuckled as he leaned on the doorknob for dear life.

Did I do something right?

Killua tightened his fingers again, then pulled his head back till only the head was covered by his lips. Gon shivered, teeth sinking into the skin of his knuckles. Killua sank back down, not stopping until his nose brushed his hand and he smelled the sweat on Gon's waistband.

He shivered. Okay. I think I got it.

Killua bobbed his head again, the motion shaky and unpracticed, but he had Gon a sputtering mess all the same. It was messy, that was for sure, but Killua slowly got the hang of it. He gripped Gon's thigh as he leaned back and forth, swallowing him back again and again as his tongue slid across bulk and veins.

Gon's muffled noises echoed against the empty walls of Killua's foyer, and he felt sorry for any sorry soul that happened to walk down his stretch of the hallway. The sweat across his brow thickened until beads began to slip down his nose and pool in the fabric of Gon's pants. His cock was screaming from the lack of attention, but every time a strangled whine forced its way past Gon's fist the noise went straight to his groin.

Killua shuffled his knees, comfortable enough to move his head faster. He tightened his fingers again, twisting them to the left to open his shoulders a little. Gon gasped and moaned around his fist, his free hand darting from the doorknob to grab Killua's hair.

It startled him, making his neck jerk forward more than he'd meant to. Gon's dick hit the back of his throat, and Killua quickly pulled back again to prevent himself from gagging, swiftly swallowing a mouthful of saliva and slimy precum instead.

Gon's fingers tightened in his hair, "Ah, sorry," he gasped. "I didn't mean to– shit."

"S' okay," Killua mumbled, quickly recovering from his fumble. He resumed his menstrations, though Gon's hand in his hair kept shoving his head down further than he meant to. It was a fight against his gag reflex and the strength of Gon's shaking arm, but Killua was determined not to slow down.

He closed all four fingers around Gon's dick, cutting off the amount of it that he had to swallow. Gon shuddered, his knees buckling a little as Killua squeezed him harder. The fingers in his hair yanked and pulled. Killua couldn't have pulled off if he wanted to, Gon was using his head like a fleshlight. But why did he not hate it–

Gon's breathing turned ragged, and Killua felt his cock twitch in his mouth. He sucked his lips tighter and tried to go faster, Gon's hand helping him out. He swirled his tongue across Gon's head the next time he pulled backwards, and was rewarded with a shrill whine from the male standing above him.

"Killua!" Gon gasped in shock, suddenly slamming his head down one more time before he hunched over and came in his mouth. Gon's dick jerked and cum shot against the back of his throat. Killua quickly swallowed and tried not to choke, his eyebrows scrunching together as Gon groaned all the way through.

Gon flopped against the wall when he was finished, throwing his head back and panting. His fingers fell slack in Killua's hair, the silver haired male finally able to sit back on his heels and let go.

Mouth still half full of Gon's doomed children, Killua swallowed one more time with a grimace. It didn't taste entirely unpleasant, but it was warm and that was weird. He rubbed his sleeve over his mouth, smearing a mixture of Gon's cum and his own spit all over his poor jacket.

Killua chuckled breathlessly to himself. That was that, he supposed. He made to stand up and found himself wincing as his still very erect cock strained against his jeans. Shit, he was still horny as fucking hell and bricked up with a vengeance.

Gon was still flopped against the door, eyes wet at the corners as he panted through a post orgasm high. His face was flushed a brilliant red, dick still hanging sadly out the front of his pants. Killua's stomach gave a spectacular flip, he'd been responsible for all that.

Campfire eyes flicked down to Killua's level once he'd risen to his feet. "K–Killua," Gon panted, the only warning given before he serged forward and kissed him hard across the mouth. Killua hummed in surprise as Gon drew him close and broke the kiss with a gasp. "That was– you–" Gon trailed off, blinking down at Killua. His eyes flicked downwards to where he'd pulled Killua - and his problem - against his body. "You're still–"

"-Can you keep going?" Killua breathed. He thought he'd been worked up before but now he was shaking with the need to rip Gon's clothes off and smother himself against that scalding body.

"Yeah," Gon nodded jerkily.

Killua grabbed his hand and all but ran into the apartment, making a beeline for the bedroom. Gon awkwardly stuffed himself back in his pants as he stumbled along beside him, still in a daze with cheeks painted red.

They crashed into the bedroom and Killua once again slammed the door behind them, locking the door just in case (Alluka had the spare key and a bad habit of breaking in). Only this time, Gon was on him before he could be pinned against the wall again.

Killua groaned as Gon took his face in his hands and kissed him fully across the mouth, tongue forcing its way past his teeth to taste himself inside. They stumbled backwards until the backs of Killua's knees hit the bed frame, hands grabbing at hair and clawing at troublesome layers of clothing.

Gon kept leaning forward, and Killua squealed in shock as he bent backwards over the footboard and came crashing against his unmade bed. Gon fell on top of him, already scrambling to get his hands under Killua's thighs. He walked on his knees to the center of the mattress, where he dropped Killua flat on his back and placed himself between his legs.

Killua panted around Gon's tongue as that crushing weight flopped down on him and crushed his body into the bed. They sunk into the foam mattress topper, legs getting tangled up in the blankets and jacket sleeves twisting uncomfortably around their arms.

Gon's kiss was forceful, claiming. The second Killua's guard went down he'd taken the wheel, shoving his tongue down Killua's throat and sending trails of their combined saliva down his chin. Killua's head was spinning and hot, pleasure bursting like fireworks in his gut every time Gon ground down on him.

He felt Gon's dick slowly start to harden again, he still hadn't completely bounced back but hadn't hesitated for a second when Killua had pushed him to keep going. Gon's recovery was slow going, the pace felt like that of a snail to Killua, who hadn't gotten any attention whatsoever aside from a messy handjob through the fabric of his jeans.

Pale hands found their way underneath Gon's jacket, sprawling across the damp skin of his back and pushing his unzipped jacket and t-shirt up to his shoulders. Killua groaned into Gon's mouth and bit his tongue, pulling impatiently at his clothes.

Gon got the message, and pulled back, breaking the kiss with a slick crack of suction. He sat directly on Killua's groin as he fished for the hem of his shirt, tangled in his jacket and pushed up to his underarms. Killua keened and squirmed his hips back and forth, Gon's full weight pressing right on the shameless bulge in his pants.

Finally pulling his shirt to face the right direction, Gon pulled the thing over his head and chucked the fabric somewhere into the shadows of Killua's bedroom. Heart thundering in his ears, Killua stopped searching for friction and laid still. He stared up at Gon's shirtless form, finally free to gawk without restraint.

For the record, he was totally ripped with muscle. Killua was quite literally drooling. Gon panted from his perch on Killua's waist, gazing down his nose at him with this knowing glint in his eye. Killua choked out a single laugh as he caught his breath, knowing that he was doing nothing but stoking Gon's ego and not giving a rat's ass about it.

He reached his fingers up to brush the skin above Gon's waistband, hanging low with pants still sultrily unbuttoned. Fingers dusted along his v-line, and Gon's breath hitched. Killua felt along his hip bones, jutting from a shockingly skinny waist and casting shadows across the pool of his crotch.

Killua couldn't hear anything but his pulse as he slowly traced the dip and fall of Gon's sculpted stomach. The muscles tensed under his faint touch, flexing and contracting in a manner that was probably intentional, not that Killua had the mental fortitude to notice something like that. His mouth was watering again, he still wanted to run his tongue down Gon's abs.

He tried to sit up and reach his chest better, but any semblance of motion put a blinding amount of pressure against his dick. Killua struggled to catch his breath after learning that the hard way, well aware that Gon was smirking down at him with that smug glint in his eye.

Bastard.

Killua shot him a crooked grin, eyebrows turned down in a challenging glare. Gon's tongue snaked across his lips, but he didn't come back down. Fine. Be that way.

Straining to reach, Killua felt across the plains of Gon's pectoral muscles. He noted that he had somehow managed to accumulate more hair than Gon there (though his was almost invisible), and ran his thumbs across the light dusting with a chuckle. Killua was nowhere near as sculpted as Gon was, and he was well on his way to feeling a little subconscious when he was violently distracted from any train of thought other than the fact that yes, Gon did have a nipple ring and–

"Holy fuck, did that hurt?!" Killua gasped, hands shooting to Gon's right pec so fast that the motion was hardly visible.

Gon laughed, a dark, bedroom chuckle that made Killua's insides churn and cheeks flush.

It was– it was a literal fucking ring just– just right fucking through–

Like the cartoon bulls have, but that is NOT his nose–

"Yeah, it hurt," Gon answered with a crooked grin, eyes turned up at the corners. "I started crying on the table, it was super embarrassing."

"Well no shit," Killua whispered, debating if he should touch it or not. I mean… would Gon start crying if he touched it? Actually…

Killua touched it, no reaction. Damn.

Gon chuckled, watching Killua fool with the metal loop.

Killua watched, transfixed, as his nipples started to harden from the attention, bringing the vat of molten heat in his belly to a boil.

"Why?" Killua asked, (that was all that needed to be said) shuddering as he pictured having a piercing gun through there of all places, like what the actual fuck–

"Cause it's hot," Gon answered, sounding proud of himself.

Killua scoffed, pretending that it wasn't the truth. "Doesn't it catch on your clothes?"

"Sometimes, but I don't always have to wear it."

No, Killua's brain. Your tongue will not fit through the piercing.

"I could never," Killua muttered. Getting his earlobe pierced had hurt like fucking hell, there was no way he was getting another intentional hole through his flesh. And especially not through the nipple, like what the hell, was Gon a psychopath or something?!

Even though it was kinda hot…

But just a little bit…

"I bet you could take it," Gon teased, leaning to hover over Killua. Killua, who was gasping at the shifting of weight on his hardened cock.

"No," Killua gasped. "Not in a– million years."

Gon grinned down at him, making sure to shift his weight so painfully slow. He fished his hands under Killua's shirt, sending a shiver up his spine. "Don't underestimate yourself," Gon chuckled. "It only hurts for a second." He punctuated by squeezing Killua's right nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Killua cried out, caught between the mental image of that excruciating pain and the lightning bolt that shot to his pants.

The bastard on top of him just laughed, and Killua glared up at him through sweat-soaked bangs, arm draped across his forehead. Gon wiggled his hips back and forth, making Killua curse under his breath. His back arched involuntarily, allowing Gon's hands to slip underneath and work his shirt up to his shoulders.

Gon ripped Killua's shirt over his head and flung it haphazardly behind him. Before Killua could think to get self conscious, scalding hands were sliding across his skin; running up his sides and tracing the divots of his ribs, skimming across his nipples and pressing under the dip of his collarbones.

"God, you're beautiful," Gon whispered, making Killua's head fill with steam. Those hands slipped up his arms until they laced with his fingers, stretching them high over his head. Gon leaned down over Killua, keeping his body tense so nothing touched but their hands and the incessant weight on Killua's groin.

Gon had no business being that flexible.

Killua wanted to poke him in the ribs, but alas, his hands were being held hostage above his head.

"You're so skinny," Gon cooed, "Like a girl."

"Wha– shut up!" Killua snapped, face on fire.

Gon laughed, he didn't sound very remorseful. "But you're better than a girl."

Killua's stomach flipped, and he felt his cock twitch. Gon felt it too, and his smile turned sinister. He rocked his hips, and watched as Killua's eyes rolled to the back of his head.

"So rough around the edges," Gon cooed, leaning close enough for their lips to brush, but not close enough to kiss. His eyes wracked Killua's body, fingers gripping Killua's painfully tight, he clearly wanted to touch but was holding himself back. "Your face is so pretty," Gon breathed, "But your body is so hard. Your chest is flat, your waist is slender but not a curve on you. That's what guys are supposed to like, right? Curves and tits for days? But no, I find that I don't. I can't imagine looking at a woman ever again. That could never come anywhere close to you."

Killua shivered, his eyes widening as Gon gave his speech. His voice was like gravel, his eyes wide and hungry above all else. Killua's stomach tinged with excitement, he wanted Gon to destroy him.

"Oh, Killuaaa," Gon moaned through gritted teeth. Killua's eyes flicked to his pants, watching in live time as Gon started to get hard again. "You're the hottest thing I've ever seen," Gon growled. "Is this what sex is supposed to be like?" he asked, voice getting thin. "I can't– I can't think– Take your pants off, I wanna see you hard for me again."

Killua swallowed, tugging at Gon's hands to try and follow his instruction. Wait, why was he listening to a demand like that? …Well… why would he not–

Gon released Killua's hands, groaning in restraint as he fisted his hands into the sheets and leaned his head down to hover near the base of Killua's neck. He then stood up on his knees and lifted off Killua's waist, making him gasp when the pressure vanished.

Once Gon let go, Killua reached down and shoved his pants down his hips, wincing as his cock sprung free to rest against his abdomen. He lifted his knees up to drag his pants all the way off, tossing them weakly off the edge of the bed before flopping flat on his back and looking up to watch Gon's face.

He was staring at Killua's dick, which would have seemed uncomfortable if Killua hadn't been such a horny disaster.

Why not follow suit?

Killua checked on Gon's crotch, and found him back at full attention. Straining against his boxers and starting to poke through the unfastened slit.

Gon's breathing had started to pick up, it was startlingly fast and Killua wondered if he should start to get worried.

"I–" Gon broke off, clearly at a loss. Well… Killua supposed that getting hard because of another man's dick for the first time in your life was probably a bit of a culture shock.

"You alright there, buddy?" Killua asked, needing to break the silence somehow.

"I– I–" Gon hissed and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm fine, perfectly fine, just–"

A drip of precum fell from Gon's opened pants onto Killua's stomach, and that pretty much got the point across.

Killua snorted, and grabbed Gon's belt loops again. He pulled the raven down, giving him a reassuring smile when those fire colored eyes snapped open and gave him a frightened look. Killua spread and lifted his knees, then pulled Gon down to lay between his legs again.

He watched the raven's face scrunch up when their cocks pressed together through the thin sheet of his boxers. Killua then gently let go of Gon's pants and wound his arms around his neck. He was still awkwardly hovering, uncertain for the first time.

"Hey," Killua said softly, his voice raspy from all the noise he'd been making over the past half hour.

Gon met his gaze again, looking guilty for whatever reason.

"It's okay," Killua said.

It's okay to feel attracted to another man.

It's okay if you're nervous.

It's okay if you don't want to keep going.

Killua's words held all these meanings at once, and Gon's eyes shone with a familiar emotion that he was learning to recognize as love.

"...Killua," Gon whined, the tension in his body relaxing. He laid down between Killua's legs, and brought his hands back down to lace their fingers together again. Gon took a deep breath, and then slowly pressed a kiss against Killua's waiting lips. It was soft, faint. Hardly even a touch. Killua could feel himself melting from the inside out.

Gon kissed him again, starting to regain his confidence. His lips lapped at Killua's, tongue starting to fish at the crease in his mouth. Killua let him in and shivered as Gon's tongue slid across his. Shaking fingers released Killua's hands and wound their way through his hair again, and Killua took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Gon's neck.

The heat between them started to steadily rise once more, and Killua rocked his body back and forth. Gon gasped against his lips and then groaned, the sound rumbling up from his chest and stoking the bonfire in Killua's gut.

No longer in a frantic rush, they slowly rode the waves of pleasure together; the silence of the room interrupted by the creaking of the box springs and the sequential gasp of breath every few moments.

Killua's heart felt like it was crumbling to pieces, he could just burst at the seams. He wanted to stay in this moment as much as he wanted to rile Gon up again get fucked senseless. His heart was bursting with this hot sensation, and he couldn't decide if this lazy washing of the waves was enough to satiate it, or if he wanted to fling himself into a violent maelstrom.

His skin started to crawl, and Killua's fingers strayed from Gon's neck to run up and down his back. The fabric of those pants, it was too much. He needed them off. There wasn't enough contact, not enough skin.

Killua groaned needily into Gon's mouth, and pushed at the hem of his troublesome jeans. Gon followed along, and unwrapped Killua's ankles from his back. When had they gotten there again? Killua didn't know, but the second Gon's weight was lifted he started to feel restless. He thrusted his hips against open air, already missing the contact.

Gon slung his pants off the edge of the bed, finally. He grabbed under Killua's knees and wrapped his legs back around his waist, coming back down and making them both shudder when it was finally skin on skin.

Killua made a very embarrassing noise, something between a whine and grunt. He didn't know, and he didn't particularly care. He grabbed Gon by the hair and yanked their lips back together, thrusting upwards with his hips to try and chase the high that danced on the edge of the horizon.

Sparks flew, and things started to pick up the pace again. Gon stopped leaning from one side to the other, instead grinding down on Killua's waist and making the headboard hit the wall as he worked up a rhythm.

"Ah, Gon," Killua hissed. He clawed at Gon's thick hair. He was close but he didn't want it to be this way, he wanted more.

"What," Gon breathed, his mouth on Killua's ear. His lips were wet, drool soaking into the sheets. His back was slicked with sweat, it stained Killua's hands and dripped onto his chest.

"I want– Gon, can you–" Killua broke off into a groan, arching his back and throwing Gon off balance.

The raven shivered, bracing his arms on either side of Killua's head. "Yeah," he breathed, eyes dark with desire. "What do I… You got any stuff in here? Like, need lube, right?"

"Uh…" No. Killua did not have any lube. He didn't have anything but tissues and the forbidden bottle of lotion that he kept under the sink. "No, but look under the sink, it's a green bottle."

Gon didn't question it, but quickly rolled off Killua's body and onto his feet. The silver haired man groaned as he was left to wiggle his hips against nothing, and listened impatiently as Gon padded across the tiles in his bathroom.

He leaned up on his elbows when Gon launched himself back into the bed, forbidden bottle of lotion in hand as he knelt on his knees beside Killua. "Uh," his hand found the back of his head. "Do you think this is a good idea? I mean, I don't have any condoms with me and you probably don't have any and–"

"-It's fine," Killua interrupted, sitting up trying to pull Gon back on top of him again. "You've only been with three other people, I doubt you have anything."

Gon's face turned various shades of red. "I– I mean I know Zazan doesn't have anything but I never really thought about that stuff in high school and–"

"-Gon," Killua complained.

"This just seems irresponsible!"

"If Zazan doesn't have anything then you don't have anything, so it's not a problem."

"That's not…"

"Listen, I am going to die if you don't put your dick inside me, so would you rather kill me or make a little oops?"

"..." Gon gave Killua an unconvinced expression.

The silver haired trouble maker chuckled, thinking with his cock rather than his brain. He reached for Gon's dick, a sly smile on his face. Gon swiftly caught his hand with a gasp, eyes wide and dilated.

"I trust you," Killua said once he had Gon's attention (and once grabbing his dick didn't work). He was serious, though. Gon wouldn't give him anything, and if he did… Well, that was a problem for tomorrow's Killua. But he wouldn't. So it was fine. Also that dick was calling his name–

Gon's eyebrows turned up, he was cracking. "I feel like you're manipulating me into having unprotected gay sex…"

"I mean…"

Gon threw his head back and laughed. "Fine, to hell with it then."

"That's the spirit!" Killua cackled, slapping Gon on the arm.

The raven flopped forwards, pushing Killua back onto the bed. Excitement twinged in his belly. Gon sat between Killua's legs and read the label on the bottle of forbidden lotion. He gave Killua a side eye.

"What?" he asked, laughter bubbling up past his lips.

"Whatever," Gon mumbled. He pumped a generous amount into his palm, and then looked to Killua for directions.

"Don't look at me," Killua complained, throwing his hands up in surrender.

Gon laughed weakly, though it was more of a defeated whimper. "I really need to start going to church again." Killua laughed, his shoulders shaking with giggles as Gon knelt between his knees.

The raven spread the lotion across his fingers and hovered over Killua. He braced one arm alongside the silvery hair that pooled across the sheets, and held the other hesitantly between Killua's legs.

Killua arched his back and gave a dramatic moan.

Gon glared, cheeks flushing as he laughed at Killua's antics. "Cut it out!" he giggled.

Killua laughed and laid back down, though he spread his knees further apart. Gon sighed, looking like he was preparing to admit defeat. His breath brushed across Killua's face, before he leaned down and recaptured his lips.

Gon kissed him lazily, not much tongue since his focus was elsewhere. Not that Killua was complaining. He placed his hands on Gon's muscular shoulders, absentmindedly feeling him up. Meanwhile, below the equator, Gon pressed his finger against Killua's ass.

Killua arched his back - genuinely this time - and squirmed. "It's cold!" he gasped.

"Oh really?" Gon mumbled against his lips, ignoring his complaining. He traced the ring of muscles, finger slippery and cold. He was clearly at a loss, but Killua doubted that that trailblazing attitude would cop out now. "Relax, please," Gon whispered, softly licking across Killua's lower lip.

"Sorry," the silver haired man mumbled. He forced himself to lay slack, and Gon slipped his tongue into his mouth as thanks. He wasn't terrible at multitasking, as Killua would soon come to find out.

Gon slowly wiggled the tip of his finger into Killua's ass. It was cold, which was annoying, but the promise of gratification encouraged Killua to drag his attention elsewhere. He focused on the slick sensation of Gon's tongue, and before he knew it that finger had slipped through to the second knuckle.

"It's tight," Gon groaned, his hips jerking forward subconsciously.

"I know," Killua grumbled, "Now stop talking about my asshole and hurry up."

Gon huffed against Killua's lips and shoved his finger all the way inside. Killua winced, but he supposed he deserved it. "Sorry," Gon apologized, slowly slipping his finger in and back out as he coaxed Killua open.

"S' fine," Killua muttered. It felt weird. Not bad, but weird. The cold wasn't helping, but at least the lotion warmed up the longer it was stuck inside. Killua's anus was going to be very soft by the time Gon was finished.

"Ready for another?" Gon breathed, voice ragged. He dripped onto Killua's chest again, clearly enjoying his task.

Killua nodded stiffly, trying to keep his hips from tensing up again. Gon slipped two fingers inside this time, and Killua winced at the stretch. Gon kissed him apologetically, slowly working his fingers in and out until there was enough room to scissor them back and forth. Killua shivered at the strange feeling. Now Gon could reach further, and it felt less weird and more… God, what was it?

"One more?" Gon asked.

Easy for him to say, Killua thought grumpily. He nodded curtly, digging his nails into Gon's shoulders as retaliation.

The raven wiggled three fingers inside while simultaneously slipping his tongue inside Killua's mouth. It didn't take as long to stretch him open this time, and Killua sighed as Gon slid his fingers in and out. It felt… wet. Full? Killua didn't entirely hate the sensation, he decided. Also the thought that Gon's fingers were inside him was super hot–

Gon hummed into his mouth. "Uh, I think there's…" He wiggled his fingers around, brushing against Killua's walls and making him shiver, the sensation was almost pleasant. He shuffled his hips back and forth, reveling in the strange feeling. Still searching, Gon stuffed his fingers as far as they could reach, and then brushed them forward–

Killua jumped, a bolt of flaming sensation shivering from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes.

Gon gasped delightedly, and then pressed his fingers forward.

Killua yelled and clawed at Gon's back, "Fucking, shit!"

The raven cackled, "How's that feel?"

"Feels–" Killua panted, whining when Gon pulled his fingers away from that place inside him. He assumed it was his prostate. Gon was more aware than Killua had given him credit for. "Feels… ahh–" He couldn't get a word in, his balls ached, he was so strung up that it hurt. It was like his entire body was on fire, he wanted - oh, he wanted - "Do it again," Killua gasped.

Gon chuckled sinisterly against Killua's lips, savagely thrusting his fingers back inside and rubbing against Killua's inner wall. He screamed again when Gon hit that damned place just right. He worked his fingers in and out, brushing close each time but avoiding it because he was an asshole–

"Gon!" Killua whined, "Stop– ahh, please!" All of a sudden the sensation of Gon's fingers fucking his ass was like an electrical shock with each pass. It felt so damn good, and every time he reached all the way inside Killua's entire body would tense up and wait for a burst of pleasure that never came. He felt like a donkey with a carrot on a stick, and it was pissing him off as much as it made him lean into Gon's touch all the more.

"Please what?" Gon chuckled, clearly proud of himself. The bastard, his legs were trembling. Why wouldn't he stop fucking around already?!

"Just fuck me already!" Killua yelled. He felt like he was begging on his knees, and he was.

Gon shivered at Killua's command, yanking his fingers all the way out. Killua whimpered, squirming his hips and feeling so desperately empty. His cock felt like it was on fire, he needed Gon now.

The raven, on the other hand, was taking his sweet assed time. He pumped another handful of lotion, and then slathered it across his cock. Killua watched his face fall slack with hungry eyes, wishing that it was his hand wrapped around Gon's dick and not his own.

Buzzing with a lustful energy, Gon quickly crawled back over to Killua. The silver haired male sat up to meet him, grabbing him by the shoulders and yanking him forward. Gon reacted to his urgency, latching onto Killua's knees and spreading them apart. He pushed Killua back down and knelt over him, sliding his hands over the undersides of his thighs and pushing them over his head.

Gon held Killua by the waist and lined himself up.

"Should I get on my knees?" Killua gasped.

"No," Gon said, "I want to see your face."

Oh.

Killua sobbed. He leaned his head back and squeezed his eyes shut tight, body trembling as he waited in desperation. He felt Gon's tip press against his ass, and he bit down hard on his lip as he was stretched open again. It hurt but in a good way because Killua couldn't bring himself to care.

Gon took a shuddering breath once the tip slipped inside. He held Killua in place with one hand to his hip, and folded over to lean above him. His elbow hit the sheets beside Killua's head, a position that he really seemed to lean towards.

Killua gawked up at Gon with his mouth open in a silent scream. Slick fingers knotted themselves in his hair and Gon drove his hips forward. Killua cried out as he was pushed backwards across the sheets, and Gon crawled on his knees to follow. His head pressed into the pillows pushed against the headboard, and Killua panted as he adjusted himself to the sensation of Gon's entirety shoved up inside him.

He moaned through gritted teeth, forcing himself up onto his elbows, bringing himself nose to nose with Gon. The raven's face was knotted and tense, sweat dripping down his forehead and cheeks flushed to all hell.

It was the hottest sight Killua had ever seen.

"Ahh," Gon panted. "You're so… hot."

Killua gave a breathless laugh, "I was thinking the– same damn shit."

Gon chuckled, his laughter shaking his body and making his body tremor. Killua groaned as Gon wiggled inside him. It felt so hot. He couldn't think straight, everything that he'd felt on Gon's fingers was multiplied by a thousand now that he was skewered and pinned to the bed.

Killua bucked his hips upwards, making both of them gasp. Gon shivered, droplets of sweat falling from his brow to land in Killua's hair. He pulled out by a few inches, and then pounded forward again with a squelsh of lotion. Killua cried out, balling his hands in the rumpled and sweaty sheets underneath him.

Gon repeated the motion, testing the sensation. Then he did it again, and once more with more force. Killua screamed when he struck his prostate again, tears welling up in his eyes as his arms gave out. He fell against the bed with gritted teeth, a steady dribble of precum gathering on his stomach.

"H-hey," he choked out, reaching for the hand Gon had tangled in his hair. The raven stood still above him, eyes wild and fingers bruising against his hip. Killua extracted the hand from his hair with a considerable amount of effort, pressing them palm to palm and giving Gon something less painful to cling to.

"Killua," Gon said, his voice like gravel. He thrusted his hips, missing his target but making Killua keen nonetheless. His fingers were crushing around Killua's, relentlessly pressing his palm into the sheets.

"D-don't stop, id-idiot–" Killua gasped.

"You want me to fuck you?" Gon whispered, slowly drawing almost completely out. He watched Killua's expressions shift like the waves over the ocean.

"Yes!" Killua exclaimed. "And don't… stop, I need to… feel you."

Gon took a shuddering breath, and then pressed back inside. Killua whined as Gon slid within him and then withdrew again. He repeated the motion over and over, slowly moving faster. Increasing the force of his thrusts each time. The bed shook, slamming the headboard into the wall and scratching the paint. The springs creaked in agony, and Gon finally settled into a steady pace.

He pounded Killua over and over, gripping his hand and crushing his fingers. Killua panted and sang, his voice echoing across the walls. Gon's teeth were gritted, Killua's name forcing its way past with every thrust of his hips.

The neighbors were going to hate Killua pretty soon.

"Aim deeper!" Killua begged, squeezing Gon's fingers for dear life and locking his ankles behind his back. "Deeper!"

Gon grunted in acknowledgement, his eyes squeezed shut in exertion. Wanting to see him, Killua's ass–

"Ahh, fuck!" Killua screamed colorfully, squeezing his muscles around Gon when he finally managed to hit him just right.

The raven gasped when Killua tightened around him, grinding his teeth as he plowed harder. Those muscles were just as strong as they looked, and Killua couldn't keep the yells from bubbling past his lips. Gon fucked him senseless, hunched over like a wild animal with his face scrunched like he was on the verge of tears.

The slap of skin rang out in Killua's ears, and the heat built up in his gut like a growing wave. He was assaulted with white hot sensation every time Gon struck that perfect spot buried deep inside, his body lit up like a match as he burned closer and closer to bursting in an explosion of light and color.

"Ki-llu-a," Gon panted, voice higher than usual and strained just enough to make Killua's head spin. "God, I've been dreaming about this," he growled, hunching over, his hair spilling into his eyes.

"Oh– yeah?" Killua managed, a high pitched whine rising in his throat.

"Every night," Gon strung out. "Just like this, I'll have you– under me and you– scream my name–" He slammed his hips forward so hard that Killua heard something snap beneath them, and Killua screamed his name, alright.

"Gon!" he yelled, his voice breaking, he could have been heard from the street outside.

"Yes," Gon moaned, dragging the syllable out. "Just like that– Do it again, baby–"

Killua wailed his name, arching his back and digging his head into the pillows. The heat was too much, he was going to shatter, fall apart - but if Gon stopped then he was fairly certain he'd die–

"God, Killuaaa," Gon sobbed, burying his head in the sheets beside their joined hands. His palm dug into Killua's every time he drove his hips forward, his grip scalding hot. Killua turned his head and found his nose pressed into Gon's hair, messy and spilling around his ears and neck.

"I need you–" Gon panted, voice muffled by the bed. "Let me hear you–"

"Gon," Killua gasped, unable to find his voice. He spoke into Gon's ear, hot breath stirring that midnight hair. "You– I want– I'm gonna–"

"Yes, Killua," Gon whined, his hips going erratic as he started to come undone. Killua heard another board snap, and strained against Gon's body as a wave of fire flung him upwards and shivered all the way up his spine and back. "Come for me," Gon growled, drooling against the bed.

Killua's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he found his voice again as the pleasure skyrocketed and his body shuddered. His cock emptied in violent spurts onto his chest, and he came with Gon's name on his lips.

"Fuckkk," Gon hissed, fucking Killua through his orgasm until he came again with a shrill whine. Killua gasped as Gon emptied into him for a second time, squeezing his hand and tightening around him until his body collapsed.

Gon pulled out and flopped across Killua with a grunt, knocking the wind out of him and smearing the puddle of cum like paint. Killua stared at the ceiling, stars dancing across his vision as his soul reeled back into his body like a shower of sparkling snow. He lifted the hand not tangled with Gon's up, and weakly looped it around the raven's waist.

They slowly caught their breath, the fire fading into tiny embers that floated up into the starry sky above. Gon laughed, though it was more of a choked exhale. He groaned and rolled off of Killua, flopping onto his back beside him and joining his inspection of the ceiling fan.

The AC unit buzzed in the living room, and the faint whine of a police siren burst to life somewhere in the surrounding city. A car passed by outside, headlights shining through the blinds and sending hashes of light across the room in a brief flash of burnt gold.

Gon squeezed Killua's fingers, their hands still joined with limp fingers and sweaty palms. The room stunk of sex and sweat, and Killua shakily pushed his bangs off his face with his free hand.

"I'm gay."

"What?" Killua asked with a creaky voice, turning his head to face Gon.

The raven was staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers to the universe, his silhouette highlighted by the like from the streets that poked through the slates of Killua's blinds.

Gon laughed, his giggles shaking the bed. He slapped his hand across his forehead, leaving it suspended there as he grinned. "Yeah. I think it's pretty damn clear now."

Killua blinked, and then laughed. His heart surged with affection, and he rolled over to flop against Gon. He tossed an arm over his chest and snuggled close, wiggling his feet under his tormented throw blankets that were crumbled and drenched in sweat.

"Glad you finally figured that out," Killua mumbled against Gon's shoulder, the skin sticky and warm. He tossed a leg across Gon's, scooting closer until the raven relented and slipped his arm underneath Killua to pull him close.

"Yeah," Gon sighed in agreement. He fumbled for a blanket, grabbing the first one he could reach and tossing it lazily over their heads. "Thanks for… helping me… with that…" Sleep claimed him, and no sooner than he trailed off was he snoring lightly, a trail of drool already peeking at the corner of his mouth.

Killua watched Gon sleep for a little while, love swirling about in his chest as he gazed at those sleep slackened features. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. So serene. Without the wild grin plastered all over his features he almost looked solemn. Killua chuckled to himself, consciousness fading as his body began to feel heavier and heavier.

It had finally happened. The dream he'd never wanted had come true, and Killua couldn't believe he hadn't wanted this until now.

Resting his head on Gon's shoulder, Killua whispered into his ear. "I love you… you idiot." He said it, just because he could. Although, he supposed that he was the idiot for denying his feelings for so long. Killua passed out with a chuckle on his lips, and Gon's sleeping face turned up in a smile, subconsciously hearing Killua's words and responding in turn.