So first I want to say that this chapter is in honor of Father's Day tomorrow in the US, UK, and Canada. Second this chapter skips episode 20 of season four. The decision was not based on anything going on right now or anything like that. I plan and hand-write my chapters several months in advance before I type them up, technically I've written all the way through at least season 6, though I do go back and edit and add things to it when I type them up just to make things clearer or if something comes up I want to add to the chapter, a new idea or whatever. This chapter was written close to a year and a half ago so sometime between Feb and April of last year and there were no major police issues making the news at that time. Also if I got into a discussion about that episode this chapter would definitely be twice as long so we'll just say that Anna takes the saying "Police are trained and held to a higher standard" to heart and leave it at that.

Thank you to everyone who continues to read, at least 250 of you, and to ancilla89, YaleAceBella12, seleneplaysgames, decadenceofmysoul, xxxlirielxxx, and Daisyangel for your reviews of the last chapter. Just want to let you know (selene) that you'll find out if they do in this chapter. I hope you guys like this one. It had to go this way for plot reasons.

Scenes from and references to 4x19 and 4x21.

The first Wednesday game in April, Anna was gearing up and saw how distracted Derrek was so she approached him. "Hey, D, what's going on?" Anna asked gently.

"After the game. I'll tell you then, I promise."

"Okay." After the game in the locker room, Anna asked again.

Derrek looked around and, seeing no one, he answered softly. "My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer."

Anna sank down on the bench next to him, her shoulders slumping and her heart pounding. "Oh, Derrek. What can—I don't know what to say."

"I don't expect you to say anything. They think they caught it soon enough but they're not sure."

"Can we show our support?"

Derrek toyed with the strings on his catcher's mitt. "Can we not tell the guys until Friday?"

"Whatever you want. This is a personal issue and I won't break your trust. If you and your mom are okay with it maybe we can get pink batting gloves or pink tape for our bats."

"I think she'd like that."

He told her the next day that his mom was okay with them showing support so after school, Anna went to the store and picked up pink batting gloves, shoe laces, and two rolls of pink sports' tape. It cost a bit more than she was expecting but it would be worth it.

Friday before the game, Anna switched out the laces on her shoes then grabbed her batting helmet and created the letters MJ out of tape on the right side. The rest of the team came in and Billy looked at her as she retaped the handle of her bat.

"So Reagan, what's with the pink? You've never been the girly girl type," Billy told her.

Anna looked at Derrek. He sighed and everyone looked at him. Derrek flatly told them the same thing he told Anna.

"And you're sure she's cool with this?" Billy asked. Derrek nodded as Anna handed him a pair of shoelaces. "And Coach?" their first baseman asked.

"Does it really matter?" Anna asked.

"No. Guess not."

Soon everyone had done the same as Anna and then left the locker room. Anna found Mrs. Jones in the stands and slid onto the bleacher beside her. "Hi," Anna said. "I know I don't have long so I'll get to the point. Derrek told me what's going on and I know that at any point you can tell me to keep my nose out and I'll listen. You have been so supportive of me and all my friends that I wanted to give back. The baseball team agreed and so we want to dedicate the rest of the season to you and show our support for what you're going through and everyone affected."

"You're right, it is none of your business, but you've been my son's friend since third grade. I appreciate your support, but I don't want a big deal made of it." Mrs. Jones looked her up and down. "The gloves, laces, and tape are good enough and you being there for my son."

"If there's anything more you need, you only need to ask."

"Thank you, Anna."

"Of course. It's the least I can do."

"Now, go win that game for me."

"Yes, ma'am."

For the next two weeks, Anna the baseball team continued to show their support for Mrs. Jones and subtly raise awareness for breast cancer though they didn't directly announce that. Anna also got together twice a week with the other girls that had been assaulted by Mr. Ray. Usually they just talked about anything that crossed their minds and mostly supported each other. Jamie was the first to touch on the ball team's change.

"So what's with all the pink on your baseball team? Aren't your school colors blue and white?" Jamie asked that Sunday at dinner.

"What?" Anna asked.

"The pink. Gloves, bat handles, shoelaces, and MJ on your helmets."

"Oh." Anna toyed with her fork. "My friend Derrek Jones, his mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer. We wanted to show our support."

"The JV team is doing the same. My friend Carl said it was all Anna's idea," Jack boasted.

"He's been my friend since third grade. I had to support him and she's always been so nice to me. They deserve it."

"Well, we're proud of you. You're really growing up," Jamie said. Frank and Erin agreed.

"Any news on the college front?" Henry asked.

"Not yet, but I know three others who haven't gotten replies from NYU or Hudson yet and they applied before I did so I'm not worried," Anna said.

Sure enough, a few days later, she got answers from Hudson, Wisconsin, and Miami, all of which were yeses. Then Danny popped into her room and asked her to consider not going to Hudson. She had been doing homework on her bed.

Anna tapped her pencil against her notebook as she stared at the three letters on her dresser. "You do realize that if I don't get into NYU, that means I won't be going to a New York school."

"Yes, but maybe it's better if you don't," Danny said, leaning against the door frame. It was his usual spot for their chats.

Anna considered his words and tried to piece together why he'd be protesting that school. Then she remembered the story from the news. Of course that story would make him overprotective. "This have anything to do with that professor? Dad, let up a little. I'll be fine and statistically bad things happen no matter what school you go to."

"I'm just saying—"

"I know what you're saying," Anna snapped then toned it down a little, "but we agreed, it's my decision what college I go to. I'll try to listen to your input but it's my decision." She gripped her pencil tight as she stared at her notebook. The last thing she really wanted was to fight with her dad but it was starting to strike her as him wanting to control her and protect her instead of him being cautious and worried about her. When she looked back on it years later, she'd see it for what it was, her dad caring deeply about her and being worried about her wellbeing and not wanting to lose her. For now though, it just felt like another reason to pull away from him.

"I get that but—"

"But nothing. Dad, I love you, but you can't take this decision away from me."

"I'm not trying to; I don't want you getting hurt."

"And sometimes you have to get hurt to know what's good for you. Even if everyone is warning you away, sometimes it won't hit until it happens to you. You know that. Now, can you go, I have homework."

"Fine." Danny walked away and Anna sighed. Maybe she had been a little harsh on him but she really didn't want his job affecting her decision. It wasn't long after Danny had walked away that her mom popped in.

"Hi, Mom," Anna sighed.

"How you feeling?" Linda asked.

"Okay I guess. It's been a tough week."

"It's been a tough month," Linda said. "About that, did your dad talk to you about what happened at all?"

"What happened? What happened when? Lots of things happened. As you said it's been a tough month," Anna said. She stared at her mom confused, sitting up straighter.

"Before spring break. Has he mentioned that?"

Anna's face fell and her body sagged. "Just the day it happened. At the station and at the school."

"But not after that?" Linda pressed.

"No, why would he?" Anna asked then bit her lip. Linda frowned. Being the daughter of a detective had always helped Anna read people. Tonight was no different. It was in the way her mom's shoulders slumped, the frown between her eyebrows, and the purse of her lips. "You asked him to but he didn't." Anna rolled her shoulders and looked down. "It's okay. He doesn't do a lot of things you asked him to. Hasn't been to a baseball game this year like I asked and he already told me next week he can't make it to Varsity Awards Night."

"He's trying, Anna."

"Yeah, sure," Anna sighed.

Linda frowned again. "Say that again like you believe it."

Anna swallowed and put on her best poker face as she looked at her mom. "I know he's trying. I just wish he wouldn't sacrifice what little time I have left in high school," Anna answered.

Linda crossed the room and sat down next to Anna on her bed. "Your dad loves you and he would do anything for you. He's just stuck. April and May are really busy months and if he wants to increase his vacation leave, he's got to work some overtime."

"I know, Mom."

"Love you, sweetheart," Linda told her.

"Love you too," Anna answered. Linda pressed a kissed to Anna's forehead then stood. Anna smiled at her mom then turned her attention back to her homework.

Sunday, Anna and the rest of the family noticed the tension between Frank and Danny. Danny seemed really angry which he had been for the past couple days and Frank kept trying to push it off by saying "not here". It didn't seem to work though. Finally Anna had enough of tension. "Are you mad because you're being investigating again?" Anna asked.

"Anna, stop," Frank ordered.

"Why do you think your dad's being investigated?" Linda asked.

"You think I don't hear things when you guys talk a little too loud when you think we're asleep?" Anna asked.

"Kid, just drop it." Danny insisted.

"Look, I know it sucks being investigated, but you're a great cop and an amazing detective. You know how to bend the line a little without breaking it or breaking the rules. Your methods are a little unconventional but you can't argue with results. Anyone who can find fault with the way you do your job needs to spend two weeks in your shoes. The best cops know how to work within the law and not violate rights to get it done." Anna answered. Anna stared at her grandfather for a moment then sank back into her chair and picked at her food. It was silent at the table for a few more moments, then Danny's phone rang. He was up and back off to work. They continued to eat dinner until another phone rang. This time it was Anna's.

"How come she gets a phone at the table?" Jack complained.

"Anna," Linda scolded as she checked the Caller ID.

"Hold that thought." Anna left the table for the stairs. When she returned, she sank into her seat as her hands shook. "He took a deal," she whispered. She didn't realize that everyone was watching her. Her eyes narrowed on her plate and her vision tunneled so the plate was the only thing she could see. It almost felt like her world was collapsing.

"Anna?" Frank asked.

"Who took a deal and why do you have to know?" Henry asked.

"That's great, isn't it? You won't have to testify," Jamie said, "and now you can move on." Anna buried her face in her hands and muttered something. "Can't hear you."

Anna sat up and rested her elbows on the table and, in a move so reminiscent of Danny, she rubbed her right fist against her left palm. "It also means that we can't face him in court and see him pay. While I don't have to talk about that terrible embarrassing thing he put me—us through, this doesn't feel like closure."

"Was that the ADA on the phone?" Linda asked.

"No, it was Uncle Jack."

"Did he say anything about the lawsuit?"

"That Uncle Jamie was right. The lawyer was worried it would look like witness tampering so they dropped it." No one quite knew what to say to that.

"You talk to my dad?" Nicky asked her.

"Anytime I need a great lawyer. He's really great at what he does," Anna answered.

"Are you alright?" Jamie asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"I think so," she muttered. Jamie rubbed her shoulder, wondering if he could say anything to help her.

"So it's over then?" Henry asked.

"Pops," Linda scolded. Frank frowned as well.

"I meant the case," Henry corrected.

"Doesn't stop it from hurting. I know I'm better off than some of those girls but it still hurts."

"He got at least 25 years and he's never allowed to teach again," Erin said.

"Yeah, but it still hurts."

"It's going to but we're all here," Erin said.

"Thank, Aunt Erin." Anna got her final acceptance letter that week from NYU and all that was left was to decide which school she wanted to go to.

Anna came home from practice on Wednesday to see her mom and another lady sitting on the couch talking. She raised an eyebrow as she looked at them both. "Jack and Sean are playing down the street and your dad is still at work. This is Ms. Brooke Carson. Why don't you sit down and talk with her for a moment? I'll be out back if you need anything," Linda told her. Anna watched her mom stand, smile at the other woman, then walk to the sliding door in the living room and walk out of it. The curtains and the back door were still open so Anna knew all she had to do was call for her mom and the woman would come but her mother would want her to try first. So she put her bags down and sat in the armchair across from the couch. Ms. Carson turned to look at her.

"Hi. As your mom said I'm Brooke Carson. You can call me either or not say my name at all. Your mom told me a little about you so I won't keep it from you, I'm from the Office of Victims' Services."

"Oh." Anna frowned. She was fine and really didn't need to talk about this.

Brooke watched her. "Your mom said you were real tough and like your dad. You know the score and you don't want to let anyone know you're hurting. It's not a terrible way to be."

"But it's not good for my mental health."

"Not exactly."

"I know they want me to talk about it, but what I went through was a conversation, not anything physical."

"Conversations can be terrifying too."

"I guess. My whole—for the last four years I feel like I have to be tough and let things just roll off my back when all I want to do is scream and throw a tantrum."

"Don't you think your family would understand if you wanted or needed to talk about it?"

"I'm sure they would but I know—I don't like to make people worry about me."

"That's very considerate."

"So I've been told."

"I wonder if they would be just as considerate if they knew how much you needed to talk."

"Of course they would, but I don't see what more there is to talk about. Everyone knows what happened and it's not going to change just because I talk it to death."

"Have you always felt that way?"

"I guess. Ms. Brooke, what he did was a terrible thing and with his punishment, he won't do it again, I just worry about the other girls. I'm sure some of them are getting the help they need but some of them aren't and they need this, more than I do."

"I understand. I can leave some cards on the table and you can hand them out." They talked a bit longer but eventually Ms. Carson left, giving Anna some advice not to bottle things up and some business cards to hand out to the girls if they needed additional help.

At the next Sunday dinner, Anna reminded the rest of the family that Saturday night was awards night for seniors at her school and they were all invited. When Thursday night rolled around, Anna was working but got a text saying 'It's not Dad. Don't worry.' from her mom, but that made her worry until the cook pulled her into the back and showed her the small TV they kept back there. The news was running a story about a cop shot and rushed to St. Benjamin's hospital. Her heart jumped into her throat right up until she remembered the text. A deep breath in slowly then back out just as slowly had her calming down. She pushed aside her worry and got back to work. By the time she got home she had completely forgotten about the entire event. Sure enough the next day her entire focus was on that night's baseball game and becoming the third ranked team in their area which they did by wining and that sent them on to playoffs.

Saturday, her relationship with her father degraded even further even though if she knew the full story she never would have blamed him so harshly. The awards ceremony was held in the school auditorium and started with a few speeches then induction of the National Honor Society. Then they moved on to the awards. Though she knew all the awards she had gotten for baseball already and a few scholarships, there were still some things she could get through the school. Almost every senior on the baseball team achieved some sort of scholarship for athletics. Anna received three for academics as well as the MVP of the year from the varsity team and her varsity letter. As she shook hands with Ms. Martha, she looked around and saw eight members of her family but not her father. It wasn't until she was back in her seat that she let her anger boil over.

Before she could explode too much, Derrek reached over and gripped her bicep. "I know that you are angry and it's really not fair that your dad isn't here but keep it together. We need our strong, rock solid, tough Anna," he said. Anna sighed but calmed herself down. She stepped outside with Derrek after the event and was talking with him and Krista when Jack came up.

"'Sup, bud?" Krista asked.

"Anna, Mom's ready to go," Jack said.

"Seen Dad?" Anna asked, turning her attention to her little brother. Jack refused to meet her eyes as he stared at the ground. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Anna took a slow, deep breath, then another and another before wrapping an arm around Jack. "See you guys later. Come on, Sport, we have church in the morning."

After church in the morning, Anna found herself in the kitchen with her uncle who apparently could read the anger on her face. "Do you remember hearing about the cop who got shot?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah, Thursday. Mom texted and said it wasn't Dad. I think the news last night said his name was Steve Tomlin."

"He worked in your dad's precinct and he's working the case. It's hard when you lose a cop."

"It's like losing part of the family, yeah, I know." Anna rolled her eyes. "But that doesn't excuse him from not showing up and not explaining it. I know that most of you still think I'm a kid but I graduate in a couple of weeks. There's a chance I won't go to school in New York and so this is the last time you're going to see me on a consistent basis. I may not deserve an apology but I deserve a heads up so I don't continually think that my important events are less important than the rest of you." Without giving Jamie a chance to say anything, she left the kitchen and plopped down on the back porch steps. Sean came out later and got her for dinner which she quickly scarfed down.

When Frank told the boys to go eat in the kitchen because as Jack put it "so you can have a conversation we're not supposed to hear?" Anna was grateful for the excuse to leave the table. She put her plate in the sink and was back to sitting on the back steps before Nicky, who had agreed to eat with the boys, could shut the door between the kitchen and dining room.

After that Danny missed their three playoff games, the last of which they lost and it knocked them out of contention for State Championships. With that, she came to a decision. Well, it wasn't just that, it was everything that had happened that year. When she saw Jim the night she lost the last game, he stared at her. He was once again sitting on the tailgate of his truck watching her walk across the diner parking lot. "You've made a decision," Jim stated.

"Yeah. I know you're going to be disappointed," Anna said. She stopped in front of him both hands wrapped around the strap of her messenger bag.

"I will never be disappointed. You're doing what you think you have to. I'm proud that you're figuring it out on your own."

"After everything that's happened this year with my dad pulling away, with that stupid sub, with just everything, I feel like I need a fresh start. On top of that, New York's feeling a bit small at the moment."

"So Miami or Wisconsin?" Jim asked, smirking.

"Miami. I know it's more than a thousand miles away but when I think about it, I feel excited and like I want to throw up at the same time."

"Sounds like me when I decided on becoming an EMT. I'm not disappointed that it's not New York. I'm happy for you. It's a digital world, Anna, we can call, text, email, facechat, all of it. I'll barely even know you're gone. We have all summer right?"

"Yeah. Thanks for understanding."

"Of course."