Chapter 11:

Astrid trudged through the woods as silent tears fell gently down her cheeks. In this moment, all she wanted was somewhere to think. Alone. Her instincts led her up the base of the hill towards the cliffs. Why? She didn't know…it was simply the first place that came to mind.

She had not been back to the secluded spot since learning of Arkyn's backstory, but remembered the remote nature of the location and decided it was as good a place as any other to get away from people. Indeed, it would have been faster to fly up there on Stormfly instead, but not only would that defeat the purpose of the exercise but it might have also attracted unwanted attention.

Astrid let her mind go as she climbed the lightly worn path. Gods dammit. She thought. Why is this so hard to figure out. Astrid had never had a problem with her feelings before, at least not one that escalated to this extent. Usually her go to coping mechanism was just to blow off steam with her axe when she was angry, but this was different…it wasn't the same feeling. She wasn't angry at Hiccup. Well, she was a little bit. He had forced her into a conversation she definitely was not ready for, but Astrid was mostly angry at herself. Angry at herself for being unhappy. Angry at herself for not knowing what she wanted. Angry at herself for not being able to fix it all sooner.

About three quarters of the way up the hill now and feeling extremely frustrated, Astrid dropped her axe and leaned back against a tree trunk, closing her eyes. Trees have it so easy. She realized. All they have to do is be sturdy and look pretty, and they're made to be great at both. She was losing to an inanimate object. Astrid used to be sturdy, unflinching even, but that was way back when there was only one goal: kill the dragons. Life was so much more complicated now…for whatever reason.

Deciding it would be helpful to narrow things down, Astrid tried to think through all of her options. Option 1: stay a maiden. That would certainly make a lot of things easier, and although it was what she used to desire, Astrid concluded it wasn't what she wanted any more. Her parents had always wanted to see her find someone special, and after all they had done for her, Astrid wanted to try her best to make them happy. But it was about more than just her parent's happiness…being lonely forever was something she herself now feared. To be unloved…to give no love…the possibility of a lack of these emotions in her life brought with them the looming of emptiness and a future without purpose. Just thinking about it started to make her sad, so she chose to move on.

However, before Astrid could focus on any of her other options, the faint sound of music in the distance invaded her thoughts. A kind of music she had never heard before, and it was coming from a direction that led up the hill. Grabbing her axe once again, a curious Astrid stood up from the base of the tree and started off back on the path to the cliffs, intent on finding out what was making the sounds. At the very least it was a distraction from her problems…which she gladly accepted.

5 or so minutes of walking later, Astrid had almost reached the top of the hill and the cliff overlook that lay beyond. As she got closer, the music got louder- and more beautiful. It met her ears with a crisp clarity; melodious notes followed one after the other in the formation of lively song. What could possibly be making a noise like that? Her mind raced trying to think of music she had heard in the past, but nothing she'd heard before was comparable to this. It was just so different.

Fortunately, she wouldn't have to wait long for an answer. Moving aside the thick branches on the last trees that bordered the forest and the cliff, Astrid stepped out onto the soft grass to spot a figure none other than Arkyn playing what he called his trumpet. Son of a half troll…she thought. Of all the people to run into right now. Astrid remembered the interesting interaction she'd had with him the evening prior (that they'd also still not talked about) and prayed to every god she could name that he didn't bring it up as she walked closer.

"Aren't you supposed to be moving into your new house right now?" Astrid called out, finding it suspicious that he wasn't where he said he'd be.

Startled, Arkyn turned around to face the voice, lowering the trumpet from his lips. "Already did." He said. "It took me all of 10 minutes to clear out of the Haddock's. I got bored, so I came up here." Arkyn offered her a smile, noticing the neutral expression on Astrid's face. She came closer still, stopping right next to him near the cliff's edge, and looked out over the town below her.

"Astrid, h- have you been…crying?" Arkyn asked, gently. He was disturbed by the girl's bloodshot eyes and glistening cheeks, which clearly had been damp with tears not long before.

"Nope." Was all she said, not daring to tear her gaze away from the expansive scenery and meet his eyes.

Immediately sensing this was not the case, Arkyn persisted. "Come on… what's wrong?"

"Everything's fine." Astrid stayed defensive.

Arkyn decided to switch his interrogation tactics. "Do you know why I really came up here?" He asked her.

This time she did glance over at him. That was progress. "No." She responded.

"I wasn't actually bored…I came up here because sometimes, people are too much for me, and I need some time by myself. That's why I'm here." He explained. "Now that I've shared something about me, why don't you share something about you? Why are you really up here, Astrid? Something tells me it's not just because you enjoy hiking or tracking."

"I- it's for the same reason." She finally admitted, looking down. A brief pause ensued, but then Arkyn spoke again. What he said next was not what she was expecting.

"Would you like me to go?" He asked in a quiet voice, preparing to put his trumpet back in its trunk for a trip down the hill.

Astrid thought for a moment. It was such a sweet thing to ask…so considerate. She opened her mouth to say yes, just wanting to be alone, and then she realized what he had said just moments ago. Arkyn was there for the same reason, and he had gotten there first. It would be selfish to send him back into town when he was just trying to get away himself. "No, you can stay." Astrid finally confirmed. Arkyn nodded, but put his trumpet away anyway.

They stood there in complete silence for several minutes on end, watching the sky turn from a nice light blue to a slightly darker shade as day became evening. Although it was not spoken aloud, both teens enjoyed the other's presence. There was something about it that put their stress at ease- if only for a little while. The stagnant scene was suddenly interrupted as Arkyn reached out his left arm and placed a gloved hand on Astrid's shoulder, just below the pauldron of her armor, pulling her close against him so that their sides were touching.

Astrid's eyes immediately shot up to his head, which was still looking out towards the sea. "What are you doing?" She asked, inquisitively.

Arkyn's head swiveled to face her's and he quickly took his arm away, almost as if he was snapping out of a trance. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thi-"

"You can leave it, you know." Astrid cut him off in a small voice, placing her own right hand on the boy's back. Arkyn cautiously returned his arm around her shoulders, although this time it was shaking slightly. As he did, Astrid felt the cold leather on her skin and decided to ask a question of her own. "Arkyn?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you wear those gloves all the time?"

Arkyn paused before answering. "Because they were my father's gloves. Other than the trumpet, they're the last keepsakes I have from my family. I…haven't let them out of my sight since I got here." He sounded slightly embarrassed. "I've been thinking about them constantly from the first moment I walked into my new house. Usually I can find something to distract myself with, but…not this time."

"They'd be proud of you. Surely you know that?" Astrid offered.

"I'm sure they would, but that still doesn't change the fact that they'll never meet Stinger or watch me ride a dragon…that would've blown their minds." Arkyn's eyes became glassy as tears threatened, but he blinked quickly to suppress them.

Astrid noticed what he was trying to hide. "There's no shame in crying, if you need to."

"I don't cry." He said flatly, "Ever."

Astrid sighed next to him, understanding both his pain and the feeling of needing to hide it, as she had done for many of her younger years to appear tougher compared to the male Vikings. Emotions were hard to balance…

An awkward silence briefly fell over the pair, and sensing he had caused it, Arkyn decided to break it as well. "Thank you, Astrid." He said.

"Huh? For what?" She questioned. It was an odd thing for him to say, seeing as he clearly wasn't in a great spot at the moment.

"For listening." And with that, Arkyn took his hand off of Astrid's shoulders for real this time, stepped away from the hand she'd had on his back, and picked up his trunk to leave.

"Where are you going?" Astrid asked.

He turned to face her once more, smiling. "Home." Said the boy, and he began to walk slowly towards the path down the hill, leaving Astrid standing alone near the cliff's edge.

Astrid went back to studying the village below as her mind strayed absently. She realized she wasn't as happy as she was 5 minutes ago. The safety from Arkyn's firm embrace was gone, and it left her feeling detached in the moment. It was only long after he had left that something in Astrid's mind snapped, and she started to think out loud. "That's it. That's what I want." She told herself, remembering the boy's unwavering presence next to her on the cliff, prepared to sacrifice his own solitude so that she might find some. He had made no effort to take advantage of her frankly vulnerable state. It made her feel supported in a way she never had before.

The only problem with all of this was that Arkyn was currently gone. Shit. Thought Astrid. Too late now.