As I'm publishing, I just finished my last exam for the school year. On that note, welcome to the first chapter for a small series within this story called: Kim Reread PJO and Got These Ideas. TLH Edition, Vol. 1.
This idea is a literal fever dream that takes place before TLH. To give context, it's technically a Hera-induced fake memory.
Also, I'm in the mood for artichokes which makes sense given the chapter's path.
Story #21: Jason in a Tux. That's It. That's the Chapter.
Piper couldn't believe her eyes when Jason opened the Wilderness School's cafeteria doors and the interior was a fancy restaurant. The rows of old and rusty tables were no longer in sight, replaced with a single circular table in the centre of the room. A decorated table with a fancy white table cloth that draped to the floor. Two plates were set at opposite ends with the matching cutlery and a candelabra in the middle. It was one of the brightest points in the room since the fluorescent lights on the ceiling were dimmed. Even the cafeteria's natural scent of hot grease was somehow replaced with roses.
"Jason, this is beautiful," Piper says as he holds out his arm for her and she takes it. When he said that he planned a dinner date for her, she expected the cafeteria's mystery meat tacos and watered-down sodas. The plant-based mystery meat tacos were worse. Instead, she got a romantic night away from the chaos that is the Wilderness School with her boyfriend in the cleanest suit and dark purple tie.
"You look beautiful," Jason responds.
"Really?" Piper questions, looking down at the dark red sparkly dress that hugs her body nicely. "I tried doing makeup but the other girls kept on laughing at my attempted at winged eyeliner so I gave up."
"I believe in natural beauty that can be enhanced and look lovelier with makeup but maybe you were bad at it because you're a natural beauty."
Piper is speechless, smitten as Jason pulls out her chair for her once they arrive at the table. She takes a seat and he gently pushes her in before circling towards his chair. They look over and see Leo approaching them. He fiddles with a pencil, tapping it against his notepad as he approaches their table. He's in a crease-free white button-up with sharp dress pants and a black bow tie. His hair is gelled nicely, slicked back as if it was glued in that style forever. He's never looked that proper before.
"Sup," Leo says as he stands beside their table. "I'll be your waiter for the night since no girl wanted to go on a date like this with me. Can I get you started with any drinks?"
Jason glances at Piper who shrugs. He looks at Leo. "Water is fine for now, I guess."
"Gin and tonic coming right up!" Leo cheers as he scribbles that down. (Or scribbles something down. It looked like he hurriedly drew mountains).
Jason pauses. " … gods, I hope you're joking."
"Maybe." He looks around the room to hide his mischievous grin. "Is the lighting good? Because I could fix it for you."
"I think it's fine," Piper says.
"Okay, good, I just finished sweeping the broken lightbulb glass from trying to dim them earlier. Anyways, I'll be back with your gin and tonics. Our entertainment for the night will start her show. She's called," he glances at his server notepad, "geez, my writing is so bad. I can't tell if I wrote that she came from seafoam or Venus. Whatever. She's beautiful enough to be a mermaid or an alien."
As Leo walks over to the kitchen, which was the cafeteria's food kiosk, Piper and Jason watch a woman walk to a solo microphone stand. She was tall and slender, wearing a dark red flapper dress with black fringe all over the outfit and matching closed heels. She wears long black gloves that make her hands look delicate as she moves her arms in sensual and fluid motions. Her dark hair is bunched up in the back and she wears a dark red headband across her forehead that had jewelled pomegranates on the side as a statement charm.
Her bright eyes look at Jason and Piper as she smiles with her red lips and slow music starts playing in simmering drum beats that build. Jason and Piper were too enchanted with her movements to the rhythm and her melodious singing voice that set the mood that they didn't even wonder where the music came from. There wasn't a band in sight and the cafeteria had no speakers unless Leo set some up somewhere after he broke the lightbulbs.
Oddly enough, the singer locks eyes with Piper.
"You don't own me," the performer sings as if she's giving Piper a personal message. "Don't try to change me in any way. You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."
Piper's mouth dries as her lips part. Her heart beats faster the longer she watches the singer chant into the cafeteria. Piper's compelled. She almost wants to leap out of her seat and give the singer a hug for some reason. She can't explain it but she's drawn to her. There's something familiar about her but unknown at the same time.
"She looks like you."
Piper snaps back to her date and the singer's voice fades to the background. She looks at Jason who's already facing her, waiting. It hits her that he said something and she can't recall.
"What?" Piper asks. Her throat is dry and she looks back to see where Leo was with their drinks.
"She looks like you," Jason repeats.
"Who?"
"Her." Jason gestures to the singer. "She has your dark hair and kaleidoscope eyes."
Piper squints her eyes as she looks back at the singer. She looks like any beautiful flapper dancer from the old movies she'd watch with her father, a colourized version since the films were in black and white. Piper doesn't see the resemblance whatsoever. What does Jason know? He can barely read the board in class without needing to move to the front.
Leo returns with their drinks, cold glasses in his hands. He has three of them, holding them like a triangle in his hands so he doesn't drop them. He sets them down on the table before wiping his hands on his pants. He hands one to Piper and another to Jason before taking the third one for himself. Short glasses with a clear liquid, ice cubes, and lime slices. Sure looks like gin and tonics.
"Leo, what does she look like?" Piper asks, pointing to the singer.
Leo sips his drink and sighs, shaking his head disgracefully as he looks at the gorgeous singer. "A woman so out of my league that she won't even look at me."
Jason sips his drink and stops, glancing at it for a second. "Is this just water?"
Leo nods sadly. "Chef wouldn't give me vodka."
Jason and Piper look back to the kitchen which is the unchanged cafeteria kitchen. Behind the serving kiosk and through the service window, they see Coach in a chef's apron and hat, slaving over a flaming stove. It was a shock and a miracle the school hasn't burned down or that Coach didn't singe himself at all.
"No alcohol for you, kiddos!" Coach yells. "It's a school night!"
Piper doesn't make the snarky comment, questioning why Coach's reasoning for their prohibition isn't because they're kids. She leaves him and his fiery stove as he sings along with the singer.
"Are we getting menus?" Piper asks.
Leo scoffs. "Piper, menus imply choices. There is only one meal and it's the chef's specialty."
They look back at Coach in the kitchen. The flames were gone but he's standing on the stovetop so he could reach the pot and stir it with his baseball bat. Again, how was he standing perfectly still and not jumping like he was walking on hot coals?
"Valdez, the food's getting cold!" Coach screams.
"Coming!" Leo responds in a fake sweet complicit tone as he runs over. He returns with two plates that he gives to them.
The food is steaming but Jason and Piper look at it skeptically, trying to figure out the chef's specialty. There were pieces of dark green leaves floating in a pool or soup of olive oil, more so drowning. Jason pokes his meal with a spoon as Leo mutters thanks to the gods that he wasn't on this date. The mystery meat tacos, vegetarian option included, didn't look as bad anymore. Piper tilts her head and sees that their meals look like flowers where the leaves resemble layered petals. That's the moment she recognizes the specialty.
"Artichoke hearts?" Piper questions as she stabs it with her fork. She's skeptical to eat it since she saw Coach cook it with his baseball bat, even to touch it with the tip of her tongue. In any other case, she'd happily eat them.
"Ew," Leo states.
Jason takes a gander and nibbles a little. It sits in his mouth for a bit but then he nods and goes back for more. Leo looks at him strangely before nodding in approval. That's his best friend. Eating the weird things the school offers. Meanwhile, Piper stares in disbelief that her boyfriend, in his best suit, ate that questionable meal.
The singer puts down her microphone as she saunters over to the date table. She stretches an arm over Piper's chair, holding it but the back frame. Her close presence makes Piper uncomfortable and she wants to scoot her chair away.
"Artichoke hearts are an uncommon aphrodisiac but a useful one. I would know," she winks at Piper who pretends not to notice. "The stories say that the way to a Roman's heart is with an artichoke heart. A tender and prosperous symbol. One would say a Roman who would ingest the vegetable had a tender heart himself. A fit ruler, leader, fighter."
The singer's voice drifts as she looks at Jason. Piper follows her gaze and her boyfriend doesn't notice two sets of nearly the same eyes on seemingly identical and beautiful people in gorgeous dresses staring at him.
"Why are you both looking at me?" Jason asks.
"Because she'll never look at me…" Leo mutters longingly out of the singer's presence.
"Also full of fibre!" Coach yells from the kitchen about his specialty. "Eat your veggies, cupcakes! Valdez, come get your plate! I got you a heaping serving!"
"But I'm not even on the date!"
"Valdez, do I have to force-feed you?"
"Yummy artichoke hearts!" Leo runs over to get his plate which he chucks across the cafeteria when Coach wasn't looking. Gods, forbid Coach force-feed him. Or any of them. Watching him force-feed mushy oatmeal to other classmates was scarring enough to make them scarf down their portions.
Leo returns to their table with a new plate for them. The dessert portion of the night despite only Jason's entrée being the only one touched. He puts a single serving of one white cupcake with frosting between Jason and Piper.
"What's that?" Piper asks.
Leo shrugs. "Compliments of the chef."
Piper turns around and sees Coach now standing on the cafeteria's serving bar, pointing his bat directly at her.
"Rise and shine, cupcake!"
-o-
Piper nearly jumps awake. She unravels herself from the fetal position she was asleep in, looking up to see Coach standing above her with his bat slung over his shoulder and his signature megaphone in his other hand. She wouldn't be surprised if the cone was directly in her ear as he yelled at her to get up.
Piper notices they're outside in a forest. Her classmates are scattered all over the greenery. She spots Jason giving Leo a boost so whatever gizmo he had in his hand, that seemed to be made of old glue and paper clips, would somehow work better. She isn't sure since she didn't watch him make it. Even if she was awake, she wouldn't get what that situation was all about.
Piper wasn't sure when she took a nap and had the weirdest dream to date, literally, but it's clear she sat under the shade at some point to rest and passed out. At least Coach didn't administer some of his sports medicine. That's a specialty of his that she never wanted to experience.
"Don't sleep in the next foraging class," Coach orders.
"Compliments to the chef," Piper responds just to confuse him.
Coach wasn't sure what that meant but he was flattered.
I couldn't have made the singer more obvious. The song she sang was You Don't Own Me which is what I was listening to while writing it.