Guardian 2.3
"But you're not even a cape, Madison. You'd be completely dependent on my Trump powers. By the way, I don't know if this getting permanently stronger from fighting thing can make you superhuman. It might just be speeding up natural training."
She pouted and whined with wide, pleading, puppy eyes. "Pleeeaase! Taylor, I'd be a perfect sidekick!"
"I'm not sure that you'd make a good hero at all, Madison. Not after all the stuff you did with Sophia and Emma," I said with a skeptical expression.
"But you can't just give me a taste of what it's like to have a power then take it away forever!"
"I totally can. It's my power."
"Taylor!" She groaned into her hands, then looked away glumly.
"Look, I just don't feel like you've earned it yet. Your motivation doesn't seem to be in the right place, either. A hero is somebody who wants to do the right thing, even without a reward, even when nobody's watching. Do you really think that sounds like you? When have you stood up for what's right over the past year?"
In a quiet voice, she said, "No, I guess not." Then in a slightly stronger one voice, she continued, "But I can change, can't I? I want to change. I want to be better. When you gave me that power, I felt like a different person. For once, I felt like I could stand up to Sophia and Emma, no matter what they'd do to me. I want to be like that again! I don't want to be a bully anymore."
The passion in her speech gave me pause. I did take her as a follower so some manner of redemption was in the cards…eventually. If she really, honestly, repented.
"I only ever did it because I wanted to be one of the cool kids and I was too afraid of Emma to do anything differently. You don't know what's she's like!"
My face soured again.
"Really? I don't know what she's like? Why don't you tell me all about it then?"
She held her hands in front of her and waved them in a 'no' gesture. "W-wait, I didn't mean it like that, Taylor!"
"Then what did you mean?"
"Aside from you, when she targets other girls or sometimes guys, she doesn't do it for fun, there's always a reason for it. It's just one part of how she maintains influence and stays on top. Look, I know you think I'm also a ringleader, but it's different. She's just on a completely different level. There's no way I could bring an entire school to my side and leave you with literally zero friends. We might call you a loser, but you didn't really become one until Emma decided you were one. Before I met Emma, I wasn't really sure if I'd even fit in with the cool kids at all. Sophia too, I honestly think she'd be an outcast herself if not for Emma. No one really likes her, she's way too violent. Maybe some of the guys or a couple of girls on the track team would still hang with her, but none of our other friends would. If Emma decided I was her next target, then I'd become just like you. It doesn't matter that I actually have a lot of friends or that I'm a lot prettier," she rambled.
Thanks Madison. I knew I wasn't pretty but the comparison was still off-putting. I wish I had a spell to improve my physical appearance. A girl could dream…
"None of them will go against Emma. You don't get to see it because you're not in with us, that's what I mean. We don't just find losers to pick on. Emma decides who should be a loser, then we make it happen. Like I said before, even the gangers, the smart ones at least, don't challenge her."
"What about what happened last week with Jun? It didn't look like he was scared of her."
"Oh he's not one of the smart ones. Didn't you hear what happened to him? Or see what happened in the cafe?"
"No…I don't hear anything at school and I don't eat in the cafeteria," I said in a deadpan. "I'm a loner, remember?"
She shuffled closer and spoke in a hushed tone as if sharing the latest gossip. "Okay, so Emma decided to make an example of him. First, Jun got suspended along with his friends for three days for the fight. Then she somehow got a bunch of humiliating pictures of him and had us spread them all over the school by the time he got back on Thursday. The same day, his girlfriend broke up with him, apparently because she thinks he cheated on her while he was out of school. She even made a huge scene in the cafeteria, crying and everything."
And of course I didn't see that because I'd been eating on the rooftop.
"And then one of his friends who had a crush on her went all white knight on him and challenged him a duel for her honor. Their other friends didn't know which side to take, so they stepped back. But before the duel could start, the girl's friends threw a bunch of stuff on him, and got juice in his eyes. Emma then brought the cafe supervisor over, but Jun was flailing around and super pissed and accidentally punched the supervisor, so he got suspended again, this time for two weeks. On Friday I heard that he was already kicked out of the ABB because he brought shame to their name. Well, I don't think he was ever really in it, but that's what his friends, now led by that other guy, are saying so obviously they're not planning to hang with him anymore."
"…what the fuck, you're saying Emma was behind all of that?"
"100%. You have no idea how many people she's got wrapped around her fingers and how deep her schemes go. She's not even done with him. I can't even fault her for it, I would be really pissed too if I were a model like her and had to cancel several shoots because of injuries. I just wouldn't be able to pull something like that off. But for Emma, it wasn't an issue of revenge. It's because Jun had the gall to actually hurt her in public and she needed to show everyone what would happen if anyone else tries the same thing again. And everyone knows that." Everyone except me.
I didn't know what to feel about what Madison told me.
On some level, it was fascinating to learn about what Emma did when she wasn't busy making me suffer. I'd always wondered why there was nobody willing to help me out. Was it just because I really was a loser, everyone else were cowards, or Emma was just that good? I guess I knew now that it was a combination of the two.
Which led me back to the thought that maybe Emma really did have some kind of Thinker power. The way Madison described it, the situation at school was very abnormal. A Queen Bee was one thing, but Emma was something else, if even one of the most popular girls like Madison felt that she had no chance against her.
It was especially strange given that Emma's family wasn't all that wealthy—though nobody was really wealthy if they went to Winslow—and she didn't hold any special positions like being the head of the cheerleading team. As far as I knew, she didn't even participate in any clubs. Aside from her admittedly model-worthy looks, she didn't seem to have anything that stuck out to me as being a typical Queen Bee stereotype. So a Thinker power, or was she just extremely gifted in social skills?
Either way, someone like that might be pretty useful as a follower. Ironically, Madison's attempt to persuade me to take her to got me more interested in the Emma that she was describing.
There was just one problem.
"You mentioned that Emma treats me differently?"
"Yeah, she usually lets up after somebody gets humiliated a few times and they beg for it to stop, basically admitting defeat. But like at this point you've been a known loser for a year and there's no social value in picking on you anymore. Yet Emma still does it."
I gave her another deadpan look. "Geez Madison, you really know how to make your prospective boss feel good."
"Umm, sorry. But you asked." Her cheeks tinted slightly in embarrassment.
"So I did. Do you know why Emma treats me differently? The real reason. I just don't buy this wanting to prove I'm strong bullshit," I said. Especially now that I knew the whole predator and prey business wasn't cape related, so it wasn't her plan to awaken my powers after all.
"I don't know what to say. She's been saying that since I met her. I think that really is the real reason," said Madison.
"So I'm supposed to believe that she's just plain crazy?"
"Well, there is one other thing…"
"Go on."
"She's had a few arguments with Sophia about it before. Actually, they had a really big, kinda weird, argument just before the winter break that I overheard. I thought they were almost going to start trading blows even. Sophia was like," Madison shifted her voice to be gruff like Sophia's, "'Forget about that loser, weaklings are born weak and that's just the way it is. Move on already Ems!'"
"Then Emma was like, 'No, Taylor's so close to awakening, I can feel it. All she needs is a bigger push. Something like mine when I awakened,'" said Madison pretending to be Emma in her high pitched voice, slapping a fist down onto her palm. "I'm certain!"
Like this, she play-acted the whole argument as I watched in fascination.
"Ems, you're starting to sound delusional. Aren't you just being weak now, clinging to her for all this time? It's been a fucking year. She's not gonna change!" She shook her head as if in disappointment.
"Oh fuck off, Sophia, what did it take you to awaken then?" Her arms crossed over her chest as she tapped her foot on the ground.
"That's none of your fucking business!" With an angry snarl, she stomped forward and pushed one hand against an imaginary wall, pinning 'Emma' under it.
A quick step later and she was Emma again, looking bored and fearless in the face of Sophia looming over her.
"Why not? You know what happened to me. Aren't we best friends Sophia? What the hell are you so afraid of?" She snorted disdainfully. "Friends shouldn't keep secrets as big as that. If I had to prove I'm a predator to you, why shouldn't you have to do the same?"
'Sophia' let go and turned her back to 'Emma' with tight fists.
"It's not the same shit, you'll never understand! You're not like me! You only fought back, I evolved!"
"Fine. You evolved." A slow walk forward. "You're better than me," she hissed in a low voice. "Just you wait, I'm going to evolve too, and so will Taylor!"
'Sophia' swept back with wide eyes and grabbed the imaginary Emma's shoulders. "It doesn't fucking work like that! I told you, you can't ask for it! If you know about it and hope for it, it won't happen! It didn't happen back then either, so you probably just can't."
'Emma' pushed Sophia off. "But Taylor doesn't know, so it'll work for her."
'Sophia' brushed a hand over her forehead and hair. "You're gonna have to fucking put her in a life or death situation then." Then she sneered. "And you don't have the guts to do that. You still think of her as your real best friend, don't you? Fuck. Fuck this shit. I'm so done. Even after I saved you and all the shit we did, you'd still rather be her friend than mine. Fuck this and fuck you!"
'Emma' glared back and raised her voice. "This isn't about you, Sophia! Why do you insist on making it a choice between the two of you? What's so bad about Taylor becoming one of us? Are you scared that she'll be stronger than you and I'll leave you for her? That sounds weak to me."
'Sophia' was nearly screaming now. "Bitch! She ain't gonna be stronger than me, she ain't gonna awaken at all! She's gonna be prey for the rest of her fucking life, and if you keep this shit up, you'll regress back into prey too!"
'Emma' stared her down and walked right up to where Sophia was supposed to be. "Then prove it! You can't say she's prey until she gets the same chance we did!"
"Fine! Watch her fucking die!" 'Sophia' shoved Emma then stormed off. 'Emma' stumbled, then quickly ran after her.
Then Madison ran back and finally changed into her normal voice. "So yeah, I don't really get what they were talking about, and then they planned the whole locker prank without me. I had the wildest idea that maybe Emma wanted you to awaken powers or something, but that'd mean Sophia has powers, which is crazy. But then, you actually have powers now, which is even crazier. Like, did Emma's plan actually work?"
"…"
I was once again speechless at the sheer insanity Emma spouted. But if she acted like that even in front of Sophia, even getting into an argument over it, it meant that she had been genuine about the whole thing.
She really, actually, tried to make me awaken powers, and…it worked.
I couldn't even be offended that she took credit for it anymore as I was last week, not when I now knew that the credit really did belong to her. Fuck.
I wish I could say that I was happy she still considered me her best friend and tried to "help" me, but the way she went about it was all sorts of fucked up. If I did the same to her, I wonder if she would actually thank me for trying to get her to awaken powers?
In the end, one thing was clear. No matter how ridiculous it seemed, when my power said Emma had high faith, that was not a malfunction.
"I don't know," I finally answered Madison. "I don't know how powers appear in people. I never asked for it though, and I'm not sure I wouldn't rather not have powers, if that was the price. You're lucky you don't have to go through something like that. But that's also why I don't feel like you've earned a place at my side. I won't deny that maybe I might have done the same thing if I were in your shoes, and maybe anybody would have, but if so, what makes you, out of everyone, worthy of being a hero? How do I know you won't relapse as soon as somebody appears that makes you afraid again?"
Her shoulders slumped as she seemed to lose what little strength she found earlier to try to convince me.
Well, despite everything I said to her, I wasn't totally against the idea. It was a fact that having somebody to watch my back was better than doing everything alone, and the nature of my power was that it needed followers.
The question wasn't so much whether I'd let her fight with me, but more what role she'd play. I'd already made her into a follower and showed her my power. But being a follower wasn't the same as being allowed to form her own hero identity and go out with me in public.
Madison simply didn't strike me as the type of person who was suitable to be a cape at all, let alone a hero. She was too…normal.
Sophia and Emma, I could see as capes. There was just something about capes that set them apart from everyone else, even aside from whatever my power sensed inside of Sophia. The exceptional person hypothesis Mr. Gladly talked about in class was the most popular one, albeit not necessarily in the way he said it, with top athletes or super achievers. I, like most people, thought that capes in general were somehow exceptional people, in personality, experiences, or something less tangible and less obvious.
One way I would put it is that if life were a story, then capes were the type of people that belonged to the "main character" or at least "side character" group. But Madison? I somehow had a hard time picturing her as anything other than an extra.
"Listen, Madison. If you really want to be on my team, you'll have to work for it. I need you to show me that you are worth it, and that you truly regret what you've done with your life so far. My power isn't something that I can just hand out carelessly, or to an unlimited number of people. There is a price I have to pay to give you powers, and the greater and longer-lasting the power, the greater the price."
At my words, a light was rekindled in her eyes and she listened intently. "What do you mean? What kind of price?"
"You don't have to worry about the specifics. I'm not going to tell you my secrets until I'm sure I can trust you anyway. The point is, all this stuff we did today? This doesn't cost me anything. I can turn you into a reasonably capable and strong normal person this way, but that's it. The [Endure] power that I let you use on Monday though? That's something else. Those powers rely on a limited energy source. I could let you keep it all day every day, and a whole lot more than that, but it'd mean that I have less energy to use on other people, you get it?"
"Does it get used up? Like will it ever run out completely?" She asked with a worried face.
"No. There is a way you can help me get more. It's not even difficult, but it takes some effort on your part. And if you can help me collect enough energy, I can consider using some of it on you."
"I'll do it!"
"I haven't even told you how yet and you're agreeing?"
She nodded vigorously. "Yes, you said it's not difficult right? Of course I'll do it!"
I gave her a measured look. "Then listen carefully. I need you to offer prayers to me. Instead of praying to God or whatever, direct your thoughts at me instead. Or rather, do NOT say my name in front of anyone else. Actually, don't say my name at all, period. Direct your prayers to…hm…the White Maiden of Life, or just the Maiden for short. Pray as much as you can. It doesn't matter what you pray about or when you do it, but do it when you wake up, when you eat, when you go to bed, and whenever else you can. I can't hear your prayers, but it will give me energy. So if you pray hard enough, I might just bless you next time."
"Ummm…why prayers? Are you like...trying to start a new religion with yourself as a god?" Madison said hesitantly.
"No, it's just the way my power works. I can't do anything about it. So are you going to do it?"
She took a deep breath, then kneeled in front of me with her hands clasped together.
"Oh White Maiden of Life, our lady in heaven—"
"No, no, make that lord. Lady is too weak, like it doesn't denote authority. And say 'the heavenly white realm'."
"Uh, okay. Oh White Maiden of Life, our lord of the heavenly white realm?"
"Ugh, that doesn't really flow well either."
"How about Queen of heaven? What's the white realm anyway?"
"I don't want to cause confusion with the heaven and God people normally think of. That will reduce the prayers' effectiveness if it isn't unambiguously directed to me and I don't want to offend God either. I'm definitely not claiming to be God, so he can keep his heaven. The White Realm is…well I don't really know myself. It's just where I draw my powers from. My domain, I guess."
"Haven't there been lots of religions with some kind of heaven? I think some goddesses were called Queen of Heaven in ancient times too."
"Like Isis? I guess you're right. Okay fine, Queen of Heaven it is."
Madison closed her eyes and began to chant again.
"Oh White Maiden of Life, Queen of Heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come. Your will be done this day on earth just as it is in the white realm. Thank you for the breath of life, and forgive me of my sins. Bless me with mercy and rescue me from evil and temptation. Praised be our Maiden above, Amen."
As she said her prayer, I literally felt the mana coming into me. It was a tiny trickle, but I felt it nonetheless. Even the ankh floating over her head seemed to glow just a bit brighter, or was my eye playing tricks on me?
"Not bad. That's a good start. Anyways, keep doing it, and remember, you must never say my real name. I don't want anyone finding out that I'm the one you're praying to, got it?" I spoke with a stern expression.
Madison nodded then smiled cheekily. "Got it. It's the name of a goddess, so it's too sacred to be said casually."
"That's…actually a decent explanation. We'll go with that. And if anybody asks you why you suddenly have a new religion—"
"An angel came to me in a dream! No problem! Trust me, I'm good at acting! I got this."