11 – Abandon Fear
That night, Ichigo and Rukia sparred in Ichigo's Inner World again, but Rukia noticed that Ichigo seemed distracted.
After a while, Rukia stopped and jumped back, lowering her sword.
"What's wrong, Ichigo?"
"Aren't you concerned about who they're going to send? We're not ready for this! We were supposed to have more time!" Ichigo said with frustration.
"Did Saido give the same warning in your dreams?"
"No, he didn't. And I think I know why. It's because you were caught on camera during Don Kanonji's show, and I guess Soul Society got wind of it. This time you weren't, so Onmitsukido must have wanted another scouting mission before sending in the big shots. But now it doesn't matter, because the stupid Menos ruined everything! I shouldn't have held back today…if you didn't have to fight, then you might have stayed hidden for a while longer! Byakuya and Renji came the day after I fought the Menos. Why the hell did it appear again?"
"Stop blaming yourself Ichigo. I'm the one that chose to fight," said Rukia. "And I think you were right about Aizen. It's impossible for so many Hollows to just appear like that without a reason…have you realized yet what this means?"
Ichigo clutched his Asauchi tightly. "Yeah. He's holding Karakura town hostage."
Rukia nodded. "Which means I can't hide, otherwise he can just send more Hollows and target our friends. Maybe things stronger than a Menos next time."
"Damn it all…shit, maybe Urahara will have an idea, if we tell him—" Ichigo abrupted stopped as if realizing something.
"Ichigo?"
"He was there that night…" Ichigo said with a hollow voice as his head lowered.
"What are you talking about, Ichigo?"
"Urahara! He was fucking there that night! When you ran off, you took the Soul Capture glove and Gikon with you, and I didn't realize Kon could be taken out of Ponkichi, so I couldn't get out of my body on my own! It was Urahara that came suddenly and helped me enter my Shinigami form! But he's Captain level himself, why didn't he help fight against Byakuya instead of waiting for me to lose? That bastard…!"
Ichigo's spirit pressure momentarily spiked with his anger.
"At the time, I didn't know he was that strong, and I figured he didn't have any obligation to help. Later, I never stopped to think about it…but now that I know he planted the Hougyoku inside of you...there's no fucking excuse for not protecting you if he was actually trying to keep it away from Aizen! Damn him! It's just like you said before, he must want you to be captured, to bait Aizen out!"
Rukia stayed silent, unsure of what to say. Soon, she felt something wet hit her head, and she looked up to see that it was raining.
Nearby, Gesshokuro stopped abruptly in the middle of sparring with Sode no Shirayuki, frowning at the sky.
Suddenly, Sode no Shirayuki and Rukia were forced out of Ichigo's Inner World, and Gesshokuro reappeared in front of Ichigo as the rain grew in strength.
"Did you know Ichigo? I hate the rain. When your heart is in chaos, this sky becomes clouded. When you are sad, it rains terribly easily. Can you understand…the horrible feeling of being pelted by rain when you're all alone in this world?"
Ichigo raised his head with a guilty expression. He remembered the spirit telling him this exact same thing in his dreams.
"Old man…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it rain. I don't want to feel like this, but it's so hard...I thought I could change things, but I couldn't change anything! Why did I get these memories if everything is just going to go the same way again? All that's different is…the people I thought I could trust, I can't."
"Do you trust me, Ichigo?"
Ichigo's eyes widened. "Of course I do! I didn't mean you!"
"No, you do not, Ichigo," Gesshokuro said with a sad shake of his head.
Suddenly Gesshokuro formed an unusually long and broad Heilig Klinge, slashing at Ichigo.
Ichigo dodged, and tried to say something, only for Gesshokuro to attack again, giving him no opportunity.
He was forced to block with his Asauchi, and kept blocking as Gesshokuro's onslaught was relentless.
Soon his sword was blown out of his hand, and he had to form his own spirit sword.
But his Heilig Klinge broke apart as soon as he formed it, the spirit particles moving to Gesshokuro's hand instead.
Ichigo looked at the scene in shock just before Gesshokuro slashed him across the chest.
"Uagh!"
Blood spurted out as he stumbled backwards.
"W-why…?" Ichigo asked with a cough.
"Why don't you trust me, Ichigo?" Gesshokuro asked with a hint of anger.
"But I do!"
Gesshokuro appeared in front of him, and kicked him in the face. He went flying and landed in a heap on the ground.
"No, the one you trust is the Zangetsu you saw in your visions. But I am not he," said Gesshokuro.
"What are you talking about?! You're a part of Zangetsu, aren't you? Didn't we talk about this before?" Ichigo struggled up again.
"Yes, I am. But the Zangetsu of your visions is a different Zangetsu."
"I don't understand, what do you mean?! Even if you're different, I do trust you! I get that you're my Quincy power. I know that I haven't achieved Shikai or Bankai in this time. But that doesn't mean I don't trust you!" Ichigo shouted back.
"Then prove it," said Gesshokuro.
"No problem," said Ichigo with a grin. "Come on, I'm not afraid. Go ahead and stab me!"
"Stab you? Why would I do that?," Gesshokuro asked with a frown.
Ichigo's grin fell. He thought he just had to prove that he accepted his own power, just like when Tensa Zangetsu stabbed him and he felt no pain. "But…"
"If you want to prove that you trust me, then we shall fight. Let your blade show me your heart," said Gesshokuro.
The resonance of blades? He could do that. He quickly healed himself, then manifested a Heilig Klinge.
Except, that Klinge was also broken apart and the spirit particles absorbed by Gesshokuro.
"Hey! What gives? I thought you said to match blades?!" Ichigo asked with an uncomprehending face.
"That is not your blade, Ichigo. How can a temporary construct such as that show me your heart?" Gesshokuro asked in return. "Your sword is over there, Ichigo."
Ichigo looked at the Asauchi on the ground where Gesshokuro was pointing, then back at Gesshokuro, who was wielding a Heilig Klinge, a mere spirit sword.
If resonance couldn't be done with Heilig Klinge, then why did Gesshokuro use one?
And moreover, was his connection with the Asauchi strong enough to call it his sword? He couldn't even keep it with his spirit body yet.
"Why are you hesitating, Ichigo?"
At Gesshokuro's urging, he flashed over and picked up the Asauchi.
"I don't really get it, but okay, let's fight!" said Ichigo, getting into a stance.
Gesshokuro then flashed in front of him and started attacking again.
But this time, when Ichigo brought his sword up to meet Gesshokuro's strike, the asauchi was cleanly cut through.
His eyes widened, and he was forced to dodge back.
Gesshokuro sighed disappointedly. "As I said, you do not trust me."
Ichigo gawked at the broken sword and Gesshokuro. What was the lesson supposed to be?
"If you cannot see it, then you will die," Gesshokuro said solemnly. "It matters not whether you face a Captain or Lieutenant Captain. Your heart is filled with fear, and your eyes are blinded by a search for a power that you cannot grasp! Perhaps it would have been better if you had not received those memories. Knowing that you must fight an enemy that outclasses you, you have lost all hope, and the fragility of your blade reflects that despair!"
"I don't understand, old man! What am I supposed to do?"
"Why haven't you called for me yet, Ichigo? You should already know my name!"
Was that all? He just needed to release Shikai? He had tried several times since getting it and it didn't work. When he had asked Gesshokuro about it before, all he'd said was 'you must first make that blade your own, and you are not ready to do so'.
He thought his connection with the Asauchi wasn't good enough yet, but maybe he was wrong.
Could it be that the battle with the Hollows had strengthened his connection to the point where he could now attain Shikai?
He poured his spirit pressure into the remaining half of the sword.
"Zangetsu!" He shouted.
It glowed slightly, but then nothing happened.
Maybe he was supposed to use the new name Gesshokuro told him to call him by.
"Gesshokuro!" This time, the sword seemed to have a reaction as it hungrily took in his spirit pressure.
He also noticed that even though he had poured in Shinigami spirit pressure, the sword was taking in his Quincy spirit pressure too.
The blade regenerated itself before turning pitch black from the base, and a crossguard in the shape of an encircled five pointed star was formed.
"Is this…it?"
Ichigo furrowed his brows in thought.
Somehow it didn't feel like it was the true Shikai.
If anything, it actually looked almost like his Bankai, just without the chain, and the crossguard was different, it was his Quincy Zeichen instead of the manji ban symbol for Bankai.
He was reminded of that time when he and Hollow Zangetsu were fighting with Bankai against each other, and whenever Hollow Zangetsu touched his blade, it became white, but if he touched it, it became black.
Then Gesshokuro spoke up again. "Which sword are you trying to summon? Can you really release your zanpaktou by calling out the name that represents your Quincy powers?"
"But Zangetsu didn't work either!"
"How can you release Zangetsu with that sword if the other half of Zangetsu is still sealed away?"
Understanding dawned on Ichigo's face as a memory surfaced.
After Zangetsu was reforged, there had been two blades!
"I get it!" Ichigo grinned again, and poured spirit pressure into the pitch black sword once more.
"There are two Zangetsu swords! That's means you're…Gesshokuro Zangetsu!"
Spirit pressure exploded around him.
The familiar guardless white and black cleaver of his old Shikai was back in his hands, the bandage-like ribbon billowing out from the hilt.
Somewhat surprisingly to Ichigo, it didn't take the shape of the smaller short blade that the reforged Zangetsu took. For whatever reason, he had the impression that the smaller blade was supposed to represent his Quincy side and the larger one was Hollow Zangetsu, but why did that get reversed here?
The Heilig Klinge in Gesshokuro's hand also changed, its blue flame-like energy brightening until it was pure white, then morphing and solidifying into the same cleaver as Ichigo's.
"Now, Ichigo, abandon your fear and look forward! Move forward and never stop! You'll age if you pull back, you'll die if you hesitate!"
Gesshokuro charged towards Ichigo, and this time he was met by Ichigo's own ferocious charge.
The two blades clashed with a great clang, and both held strong, and the force of their collision pushed them apart again.
"I understand now, old man!" Ichigo shouted with a wide smile.
"What have you understood?"
"I won't let these memories become a source of fear anymore! It doesn't matter how strong the opponent is! All I have to do is…" Ichigo poured energy into the cleaver and concentrated it at its tip. Blue light gathered at both tips of both cleavers as Gesshokuro did the exact same technique.
"…keep moving forward and believe in our strength!"
With his new understanding of Quincy techniques, Ichigo had another epiphany.
Just like when Uryu gathered energy through his huge zanpaktou and concentrated it to make a massive arrow when they were fighting the Menos in his dreams, he was gathering energy and concentrating it to fire a blast in a way that was not much different to a Heilig Pfeil, except the energy was coming from himself rather than the environment.
It could even be considered a variation of the basic move.
The red and black Getsuga was the other Zangetsu's move, but this blue and white Getsuga was Gesshokuro's—it had been a Quincy technique masquerading as a Shinigami Zanpaktou technique the whole time!
With this understanding, he understood how to enhance the Getsuga even more!
He drew in spirit particles and added them to the build up of power in his blade.
"Getsuga Tenshou!" Both Ichigo and Gesshokuro shouted at the same time, pointing their blade tips at each other, and swiping down.
Two blue waves of energy collided, creating a massive explosion, obliterating the sky scraper they were on.
When their training session was over, Gesshokuro stood alone on his flagpole again as Ichigo returned to the real world to talk to Rukia.
"Ichigo…it seems I could not quite reach you yet after all," Gesshokuro said, talking up at the sky, in which the rain had trickled to a light drizzle.
In his hand, the giant cleaver shimmered, spirit particles floating away from it.
"Wherever there is light, there are also shadows. You have learned to face the light without fear, but you still fear the shadow you cannot see. How ironic…asking me to stab you…all I have ever wanted is to protect you, Ichigo. And yet, when you needed the Hollow power, you feared it would consume you while trusting in me even when I couldn't help you. Now that you need my power, you fear that I cannot help you, and would rather trust in the Hollow power that you cannot grasp."
The cleaver broke apart to reveal the white-blue energy of a Heilig Klinge again.
Hidden within the depths of that flame-like energy was a pitch black sword.
"But if you trust in me, Ichigo, I will not allow any rain to fall upon this world."
The flagpole and the skyscraper beneath it broke apart into spirit particles, even as a new one began growing from the base.
All of the spirit particles gathered towards the sword in Gesshokuro's hand, and the blue flames turned black.
"I am not only the beginning of a new moon. My true name is…" His final words became an indiscernible noise.
Gesshokuro swung up at the sky.
An all-consuming black wave engulfed the world, erasing all traces of the rain, the leaving the inner world in a perpetual eerie darkness, only lit up by the glow of spirit particles in the air.
"I am the eclipse that brings about the moonless sky. From nothing began the world, so to nothing it shall return," said Gesshokuro, allowing the sword to disappear.
"How poetic. But that last part seems just a little grandiose, don't you think? Returning the world to nothing? The only Zanpaktou I know of which says something as arrogant is Ryujin Jakka, with reduce all creation to ash."
Sode no Shirayuki floated beside Gesshokuro, watching the new skyscraper grow, having re-entered Ichigo's inner world as soon as Gesshokuro finished clearing the rain and stopped blocking her.
Gesshokuro was unruffled at her question and merely answered calmly.
"If our wielders would seek the world's destruction or creation, who are we to deny them? As long as Ichigo is happy, I will do whatever it takes."
"I suppose you're right. But if so, what should I do?" Sode no Shirayuki said while playing with a single black ribbon that wrapped around her. "You know, I'd call this a string of fate, but it's black instead of red."
Gesshokuro gathered spirit particles to cover the black ribbon, then turned it red. "Perhaps that is more to your liking then?"
Sode no Shirayuki looked amused. A close examination of the red ribbon showed that the black underneath could still be seen, as if the red was an imperfect paint job. "No, I think it looks better without embellishment after all."
She glanced at the huge black cloak and tinted sunglasses the other spirit wore. "I think I'm seeing a pattern here. You act all wise and mysterious, but you actually enjoy confounding others by hiding the truth in plain sight."
Gesshokuro shrugged, but there was a trace of a smile on his lips.
"I am the eclipse. It's in my nature."
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
Heilig Pfeil – Holy Arrow
Heilig Klinge – Holy Blade
Getsuga Tenshou – Heaven-Piercing Moonfang
Gesshokuro – First Black of the Month (New Moon)
O O O
A/N: Ichigo was so close, but he missed a small yet important part of the lesson. This one wasn't about not fearing his own power, but about comprehending the nature of his power and why Ichigo should stop feeling weak, and which direction to "move forward" in. Gesshokuro does not represent Ichigo's primal instincts, and he does not appreciate blindly charging forward in suicidal moves. So Ichigo realized he needs to stop worrying so much and just fight, but he's thinking more in the Hollow Zangetsu mentality, not Gesshokuro's.
JustDusty: No plans to stop any time soon.
arakater: Well...you already wrote my own response. All Quincies are descended from Yhwach, all of them give him power when they die. I'm pretty sure Jugram didn't say that. He told the story of the crippled god. All those people Yhwach healed, they weren't schrift recipients. As for Isshin, he didn't start to get his powers back until the Byakuya Bankai fight when the Hollow took over. He had no spiritual senses and couldn't sense Grand Fisher on his own, just like how he didn't sense the hollows that attacked the Kurosaki household when Ichigo first saw Rukia. I doubt he could've even gotten there on time anyways. The only way he could have had that information is if someone told him. Urahara. Unless you think Isshin was in on the Hougyoku conspiracy and deliberately did nothing to help Ichigo/Rukia fight off the hollows attacking his family...? It also doesn't even matter because White had been transferred to Ichigo on birth, so Masaki got some of her powers back by then.
frightener-boy: Well, this chapter already provides hints as to what I'm doing with Ichigo's zanpaktou. The shikai is not the TYBW form, because that one reflects the dominance of Shinigami and Hollow powers over the Quincy powers, where he never solved the problem of Hollow reiatsu being poison to his Quincy side.
777torn777: Part of the problem is that there's a procedure that they need to follow, even if Rukia's actions were justified. It's a bit like refusing arrest or showing up in court. You may well be justified, but you're supposed to defend yourself through legal means...not fighting law enforcement, which is what Ichigo was doing.
Murderleo38: There's an easier explanation though. It could just be what Ichigo believed all along, before Isshin tried to make him feel better about himself. Masaki was trying to protect Ichigo, when he ran towards the bait. So she was weakened, and had to protect a boy that was running straight into the hollow. She couldn't let the hollow bite her because it wasn't trying to bite her, it was trying to eat Ichigo. If it really was Auswahlen, there are lots of other issues. Katagiri did say Masaki could be cured and made pure with a Quincy method, so why didn't Ryuken get Souken to help her? Souken didn't die until way after Ichigo and Uryu were born, so there was plenty of time to cure Masaki. Even though Urahara made a mistake saying Masaki would never get her powers back, it would be quite a failure on Ryuken part to not bother asking Souken to help his fiancee, whom he actually liked, when he got home. I also believe that even if Ryuken were that stupid, Katagiri would inform Souken about it anyways, like how she told Ryuken's mother. Masaki and Ryuken's engagement couldn't have been broken off until much later, and this topic was bound to have come up when it did.
Emrys Akayuki: It was in the context of an explanation from a character, not an actual narrative presentation like the Turn Back the Pendulum. That means it doesn't necessarily have to be how things went down in reality. It wasn't even a flashback, because there's no way Isshin was there to see it. The pairing isn't established yet.
Guest: I've always considered Urahara and Aizen to be simply good at adapting to things as they come up. A good general knows that plans never survive contact with the enemy.
nanox876: I've no idea what those are. Burn the Witch will be incorporated if I feel like it and read it at some point, otherwise it has no bearing on this story.
Pikanet128: I'm glad you did. A fair number of people didn't, even going as far as to say that they thought it wasn't even necessary as a scene. Personally, I don't know how else to present information on the physics of the Bleach universe, which are very relevant for this story as Ichigo discovers the nature of the creation sin and how the "cycle of reincarnation" actually works. There's got to be some characters who research into this stuff, and bring it into the main plot line eventually. And it's also important for me to establish clearly early on that things which characters say or believe aren't necessarily true.
Thanks to everyone else who reviewed!