Chapter 1: Boy Meets Girl(s)
"I promise you'll get the rent by next week, sir!" Peter Parker said as he swiftly closed the door to his apartment behind him, doing his best to avoid his persistent landlord.
"You better! Kids these days…" Peter heard the older man grumble from the other side of the door.
"Phew, that was a close one," the teen exhaled with relief, putting down his backpack containing tonight's haul on his bed before taking off his jacket, "I really should get to paying the rent before I get kicked to the curb. Trying to find a apartment in downtown New York is hard enough even without getting your identity erased by a wizard."
When had casted the spell to make everyone forget Peter Parker, it also erased any record of his existence. His birth certificates, passport, driver licence, bank account, even his 8th grade science fair prize were all rendered null and void. It wasn't that these items were simply erased from the face of the Earth, but rather it was like the spell was making everyone else be unable to acknowledge their existence, making them useless. This meant Peter had to recreate his whole identity from scratch through some less-than-legal methods. Of course, being a superhero it was his job to stop crime, but this was a little too important. The government really needed to up its online security measures, but at least in the eyes of the law Peter Benjamin Parker existed once again.
However there were many things he wouldn't be able to simply get back after the spell, notably his Avengers membership and his access to Stark Tech. This meant he was back to dumpster-diving as had so eloquently put it in the past, in order to improve his Spidey gear and gather resources for his crime fighting adventures. Which brought him back to the present, Peter opened his bag revealing his red and blue Spider-Man costume and the loot he had luckily happened to come across in a dumpster in a side alley, a large grey laptop.
"To this day I'm blown away by the things people just throw away," Peter pulled the laptop out of his bag, inspecting it for any signs of damage he had potentially missed when he first found it, "Especially a laptop like this, it's pretty new and doesn't look very damaged from what I can see…"
Peter placed the new laptop on his desk right next to his own personal laptop. Pressing the power button, he booted up the grey laptop, "I wonder if maybe it got infected by malware, and the owner just decided to throw the whole thing away…"
The laptop began to hum as it turned on, displaying a blue logo with the text "METAVERSE Enterprise Solutions" on the screen, before quicking transitioning to a bios loading screen.
"Metaverse Enterprise? Don't they specialise with supplying tech to office buildings and small businesses or something? This laptop must belong to them…" The screen now displayed an account for a "Ive Laster" and a password required to login. Now at this point Peter would normally just wipe the laptop's hard drive, erasing its data so he could use it as he pleased, but he was a bit curious what was on this thing. A few seconds later and Peter had broken into the account, the screen now showed an unfamiliar desktop with a blue background with the words "METAVERSE Enterprise Solutions" being displayed all over it, "This laptop must be running on their own proprietary operating system, I wonder why a small company like that would have something like this."
Before he could think too hard about that a message popped up on screen, "CONNECTION ERROR: Unable to connect to MES Network. Files may be out of sync or corrupted."
"Huh, that's certainly interesting," Peter closed the pop up, "Alright let's get down to business, my suit won't upgrade itself." Peter had been doing his best to upgrade his new suit to more closely match the capabilities of his older ones. Of course with his limited resources he would never be able to match the abilities of his Iron Spider Suit, but he figured at the moment he could at least get his mask a useful HUD and connect it to his phone so he could make phone calls hands-free. That last feature was really important with all the websliging he did, last time he tried to swing and text, his phone almost got stolen by a pigeon! He had already set up his mask with the appropriate hardware to make it work, however his own current laptop wasn't powerful enough to handle the software update necessary to make the upgrade functional, consistently crashing every time he tried. Even coding the software itself on his laptop was a pain in the butt. But if he connected his laptop with the Metaverse laptop he found, their combined processing power should be enough to get the job done and make future work a lot easier.
"Just as long as this baby doesn't give me a virus," Peter pulled out a usb from one of his desk's drawers and plugged it into the Metaverse laptop. The USB contained an antivirus program he created, which coincidentally had won him the 8th grade science fair award. The antivirus got to work right away scanning the laptop for any potential malware or other malicious program. After a few seconds, the test came back clear, "No malware, that's good. But it just further raises the question of why this laptop was thrown away… Hmm, maybe a disgruntled employee threw it away out of spite? Maybe this Ive guy's wife threw it away after an argument? That would be interesting."
With the Metaverse laptop confirmed to be safe, Peter connected it to his own laptop, then connected his laptop to his mask and started the software update. Just as the teen had hoped, the update was progressing smoothly without any crashes so far, though it seemed it would still take some time before it was complete.
"Alright, that looks like it's good to go," Peter sat down and leaned back in his chair, "Just got to kill time while it finishes…"
"…"
Peter sat in his quiet empty apartment all alone. The only noise being the faint humming coming from the laptops. He still wasn't used to this, the quiet. His previous apartment was always full of noise, full of energy, and well…full. There was always something going on at the Parker household, Aunt May cooking food, watching cheesy soap-operas, gossiping on the phone with the other women in the building or Ned would come over to geek out about some new movie, or game or some new tech or they would be working on some new pet project together. More recently Happy would come over for something or the other and he and MJ were constantly calling and texting each other late into the night. And before all of that his Uncle Ben would always be watching old movies and playing old music, or getting upset at the results of a sports game…
"…"
"I miss them a lot…"
"…"
"Dammit," Peter sighed, this always happened when he was left alone to his thoughts. "It's better this way," he reminded himself, "Spider-Man is a danger to everyone Peter Parker cares about," and he had to be Spider-Man.
"Argh, there's no point thinking about this again, I've gotta find a distraction…", Peter sat back up at his seat and glanced at the Metaverse laptop, on the desktop there were several programs, things you'd expect like an email application, files, pictures, a music player, settings, but there was one program in particular that stood out, a pink circle with a blue heart inside and the words "Doki Doki Literature Club" written on it in colourful letters.
"Doki Doki-That name sounds familiar…" Peter tried to recall where he had heard that name before, "Oh yeah, I think Ned mentioned this game before…"
"...So have you heard of Doki Doki Literature Club?" Ned Leds asked his best friend as they ate lunch together at their school's cafeteria.
"Uh no, what's that?" Peter raised an eyebrow, unsure if he had heard that name correctly.
"Oh bro, it's a crazy good visual novel game," Ned gushed, putting his food down, "I found out about it the other day online and it blew me away. You should check it out."
"I don't know Ned, those kind of games aren't really my thing…" Peter took a bite out of his food.
"I know, but this one's special, you'll definitely like it," Ned raised one arm and put the other over his heart, "I swear on it. It's got the Ned seal of approval."
"Okay I guess I can't argue with that," Peter chuckled, "So what's it about?"
"Oh trust me, it's better to go in completely blind. It really enhances the experience."
"Alright if you say so man. I guess I'll check it out when I get the chance."
Peter had never gotten the chance, between his superhero escapades and his school work, he had never gotten an opportunity to check the game out. He still had no idea what it was about really. Peter looked over at his laptop, the software was at 12% completion.
"Well I suppose there's no time like the present, I guess I can quickly check this out, it's not like a visual novel game is going to slow the update down," Peter double clicked on the Doki Doki Literature Club icon, booting up the game, "I wonder why a game like this is installed on someone's work laptop…"
The first thing the game displayed was a content warning, "This game contains adult content that is not appropriate for children. Please only play if you're 18 years old or older."
"A-Adult content?!" Peter slouched slightly, "This isn't one of THOSE games is it…?"
After displaying the content warning and the logo of developers, "Team Salvato", the game transitioned to a pink main menu, with 4 anime-looking girls in school uniforms in various poses and cheerful upbeat music in the background.
"Hmm…this is…certainly very anime…" Peter quickly glanced behind him, making sure there wasn't anyone behind him before turning back to the game, "Adult content, huh…I'm trusting you on this one Ned…"
Now don't get him wrong, he liked anime as much as the next guy. But Peter was more into anime with giant roots or ninjas who shot laser beams out of their hands and well not…whatever this was…
Peter took a deep breath, "I shouldn't be too quick to judge right? I mean, the girl with the green eyes looks nice…she probably has a cool backstory or something…Let's start already."
Peter hit the 'New Game' Button and a message popped up on screen.
Please Enter Your Name:
"I guess just 'Peter' is fine, right?" Peter typed in his name, hit enter and began a video game experience he would never forget…
?: "Heeeeeeeyyy!"
"I see an annoying girl running toward me from the distance, waving her arms in the air like she's totally oblivious to any attention she might draw to herself."
"Wow, that's a mean thing to say."
"We used to walk to school together on days like this, but starting around high school she would oversleep more and more frequently, and I would get tired of waiting up."
"Maybe this Sayori girl is moonlighting as a superhero," Peter chuckled to himself, "Man I was lucky to have a friend like Ned, he was always so patient with me…"
Sayori: "Eeehhhhh, you say that like you were thinking about ignoring me! That's mean, Peter!"
"But *I* wasn't thinking that! It was the in-game Peter!"
"Sayori is vice president of the Literature Club. Not that I was ever aware that she had any interest in literature."
"Ah! Could this be *the* Doki Doki Literature Club? Whatever that means…"
Girl 1: "Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you."
"That's surprising, from what I can see in-game Peter seems like a bit of a jerk."
Girl 2: "Seriously? You brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere."
"Ouch, way to make a guy feel welcomed…"
Girl 3: "Ah, Peter! What a nice surprise! Welcome to the club!"
"...All words escape me in this situation. This club…
"Yeah being the only guy in the club would be a little intimidating."
"…is full of incredibly cute girls!"
"...Seriously?"
So the tall purple-haired girl was Yuri and the smaller pink-haired girl was Natsuki. Yuri seemed more like the more quiet and reserved type, while Natsuki was the more bold and more easily agitated type. And then there was the girl with the green eyes and brown hair tied into a huge ponytail, the president of the club, Monika…
"Monika was probably the most popular girl in class - smart, beautiful, athletic. Basically, completely out of my league."
"I'm pretty sure that everyone here is out of your league dude," In-game Peter's description of Monika couldn't help but remind Peter of Liz Allan, his first crush and the daughter of the Vulture. He wondered how she was doing now…
"Natsuki lifts the foil off the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats. The whiskers are drawn with icing, and little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears."
"Oh great, now I'm getting hungry," Peter held his stomach.
"Yuri returns to the table, carrying a tea set. She carefully places a teacup in front of each of us before setting down the teapot next to the cupcake tray."
"Free cupcakes and tea, this club sure knows how to make a good first impression, minus Natsuki herself..."
Monika: "To be honest, I can't stand all of the politics around the major clubs. It feels like nothing but arguing about the budget and publicity and how to prepare for events… I'd much rather take something I personally enjoy and make something special out of it. And if it encourages others to get into literature, then I'm fulfilling that dream!"
Yeah he could understand that, he mostly had fun with his school clubs but they could sometimes be a pain, especially if people like Flash Thompson were involved. Honestly if it wasn't for Ned being there, he might have quit the Decathlon team even before becoming Spider-Man. He'd never thought of starting a club himself though, "If I could've created a club, what would it be…Ah, no point in thinking about it now."
Yuri: "So, Peter, what kinds of things do you like to read?"
Peter liked to read a lot of things, fantasy, sci-fi, mysteries, comics, manga, scientific papers (though he wasn't sure if those technically counted as literature). He'd pretty much read anything, except those romance books Aunt May liked.
Peter: "...Manga..."
"Dammit, in-game Peter!"
"That is, if writing poems is the price I need to pay in order to spend every day with these beautiful girls...Right. Okay, I've decided, then. I'll join the Literature Club."
"..." Peter glared at the screen, "I think I hate in-game Peter."
It's time to write a poem! Pick words you think your favourite club member will like. Something good might happen with whoever likes your poem the most!"
"Huh, I guess I've got to write a poem to impress one of the girls."
Two columns of 5 seemingly random words appeared on screen, with chibi versions of Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki, but strangely not Monika, displayed at the side. Not really sure of what to do, Peter clicked on the word "Bubbles" which made the chibi version of Natsuki jump a little.
"Riveting gameplay…" Peter began to click words randomly, it wasn't like he had a particular favourite girl at the moment. They all seemed nice enough, but he couldn't really say he romantically invested in any of them. To be blunt, he wasn't looking for romance or a girlfriend in real life, let alone a fake one in a video game, "So is this it? Is this just a dating simulator with anime waifus that like poetry? I just write 'poems' for the girl I like, then we get together? Why'd Ned want me to play this…" Peter clicked another random word on screen, "It's strange Monika doesn't appear in this mini game, I wonder if that means anything…"
Monika: "Hi again, Peter! Glad to see you didn't run away on us. Hahaha!"
Peter looked over to the other laptop screen, showing the update was 28% done, "Believe me, I considered it…Geez, now *I'm* becoming the mean one." Ned had recommended this game for a reason, he needed to keep playing and keep an open mind.
Sayori: "Don't worry, guys~ Peter always gives it his best as long as he's having fun. He helps me with busywork without me even asking. Like cooking, cleaning my room..."
"Oh wow, that's actually very nice of in-game Peter," Peter was proud of the main character for once, "Though I wonder what's going on with Sayori, that she needs help with waking up, cooking, and cleaning from her friends, shouldn't her parents be handling that stuff?"
Peter: "Sayori, that's because your room is so messy it's distracting. And you almost set your house on fire once."
"Or maybe the point is that she's just really clumsy."
There was a moment where in-game Peter was helping Sayori fix up her messy uniform. It felt pretty fanservicey but also kind of sweet, "I'm getting the impression that in-game Peter cares a lot more about Sayori than he'd like to admit. Perhaps he talks like that with Sayori because they're close and comfortable with each other. Maybe that should have been more obvious to me from the start…"
Sayori: "I guess we really are better at taking care of each other than we are at taking care of ourselves."
"..."
Now it was time to share poems, Sayori seemed to like his, despite the fact it was technically just a bunch of random words. They must see it as an actual complete poem. Then Sayori presented her poem…
Dear Sunshine
The way you glow through my blinds in the morning
It makes me feel like you missed me.
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed.
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes.
Are you asking me to come out and play?
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?
I look above. The sky is blue.
It's a secret, but I trust you too.
If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.
But I'm not mad.
I want breakfast.
"How cute, I wonder if the sunshine here is supposed to represent in-game Peter here?"
Natsuki was more critical of his poem, rightfully so in Peter's opinion, before reluctantly sharing her own work.
Eagle Can Fly
Monkeys can climb
Crickets can leap
Horses can race
Owls can seek
Cheetahs can run
Eagles can fly
People can try
But that's about it.
"Damn…I thought Natsuki was supposed to like cutesy poems, this is kinda…Is she doing okay? I feel like out of everyone she has some clear issues going on."
"...People can try but that's about it. How true, Natsuki, how true."
Yuri also didn't seem to be a fan of his work, giving a decently in-depth analysis of something he put zero-thought into, "So would she magically think my poem was really well done if I had chosen the words she liked?" After her critique and a seemingly small slight jab at Natsuki, Yuri let him read her poem.
Ghost Under The Light
The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.
Bathing.
It must be this one.
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.
The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green of the future.
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.
The light flickers.
I flicker back.
"...Huh," This one was definitely the most complex one so far. He'd supposed it might have something to do with fearing the future? He could understand that feeling, the present and past brought a sense of comfort, the future was unknown and could potentially turn your whole world upside down. He'd experienced that himself many times now.
Monika being the nice president that she was, was very kind and encouraging about his lacklustre poem. Even encouraging him to "not write the way everyone else wants you to write," which was funny because Peter was pretty sure that was the whole point of the game.
Monika: "Anyways, do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry I'm not very good…"
Peter: "You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good."
Monika: "Well…that's 'cause I have to sound confident. That doesn't mean I actually feel that way, you know?"
"Have to sound confident? Monika sure takes her responsibility as club president seriously. I mean, it's just a small literature club, it's not like people's lives are on the line."
Monika presented her poem and Peter began to read…
Hole in Wall
It couldn't have been me.
See, the direction the spackle protrudes.
A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home.
I peer inside for a clue.
No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun.
But it's too late. My retinas.
Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image.
It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright.
It was too deep.
Stretching forever into everything.
A hole of infinite choices.
I realize now, that I wasn't looking in.
I was looking out.
And he, on the other side, was looking in.
For a moment Peter felt a very small tingling sensation.
"What?" Peter was frankly baffled by what he had read, Monika's poem used more straightforward language compared to Yuri's, but was somehow more confusing, "What is this supposed to mean? Why is it so different from everyone else's?" Peter read over the poem again, trying to decipher its meaning. The poem probably didn't matter, but the problem solver inside of him instinctively wanted to figure out the it's meaning, "So someone made a 'hole' in Monika's home, she looked through the hole and saw something that seemingly blindsided her…it almost reads like a drug trip, hmm…or perhaps the poem is metaphorical for Monika accidently discovering some kind of secret, maybe about her family? Interesting…" There was one line that stumped him about the poem, specifically the ending, "Who is the 'he' looking in? And what does it mean that she was 'looking out?'" Peter wasn't sure if this had any relevance to the game's story, but it was intriguing to think about nevertheless, "These poems are surprisingly interesting."
After sharing poems Natsuki and Yuri were seemingly getting into an argument over their own poems, and over his approval, "This is a strange feeling…A-Are they really fighting over in-game Peter? Him?! They've known him for one day!"
Yuri: "If I was full of myself...I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy!
"Uh oh."
Natsuki: "Well, you know what?! I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as Peter started showing up!"
"UH OH! Also what?! What does that even mean?"
Sayori managed to break up Yuri and Natsuki's fight, thank goodness. Peter wasn't a fan of that situation, having two girls use him to settle an argument made him feel very uncomfortable. Hell it wasn't even much of an argument, they were just kinda being mean each other. He'd supposed this was another way for the game to let him choose which girl he'd want to romance, but that was just…weird in his opinion, "I mean if it was MJ in this situation-not that she'd ever be in this situation, I wouldn't back her up just because I liked her."
Monika: "I guess that just means Sayori is amazing in her own ways, isn't she?"
Peter: "You could say that. She might be an airhead, but sometimes it's weirdly suspicious that she knows exactly what she's doing."
Monika: "I see~ Take good care of her, okay? I would hate to see her get herself hurt."
For some reason that line bothered Peter.
"Monika smiles sweetly at me, causing my stomach to knot. Such a genuine person really does make a good President, regardless of what she says. If only I could get the chance to talk to her a little more..."
"It is weird that Monika doesn't seem to be a possible route in this game. I mean she's the character on the front of the main menu and I thought these types of games allowed you to romance everyone and everything. Heh, maybe Monika just has better standards than the other girls."
"Out of nowhere, something smacks Sayori in the face and tumbles onto the desk."
Sayori: "Ow...What was–Eh? A-A cookie!"
"Sure enough, it's a giant cookie wrapped in plastic."
"Man I sure wish someone would throw free cookies at me. Way better than getting paint thrown at you."
Monika was late for today's club meeting, which was apparently uncharacteristic of the president. The other girls began speculating about Monika possibly having a boyfriend, "Oh c'mon, I was late for tons of things and nobody ever thought it was because I had a girlfriend!"
Monika: "To be honest, I kind of just lost track of time...Ahaha…"
Natsuki: "That makes no sense, though. You would have heard the bell ring, at least."
Monika: "I must not have heard it, since I was practicing piano..."
Ah piano, that brought back memories. Aunt May had taught him to play when he was younger. It was a bit tough, but he had fun playing songs for his aunt and uncle and he also enjoyed listening to Aunt May play. It was too bad they had to get rid of the piano when they moved.
After a scene of Sayori bumping her forehead trying to get art supplies it was once again the type to share poems. Peter had once again chosen words randomly not really caring about the result. Based on the fact he had two private scenes with Sayori with unique art, he figured he was on her route or whatever. Speaking of said girl, shared her newest poem with him.
Bottles
I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar.
It's the secret place where I keep all my dreams.
Little balls of sunshine, all rubbing together like a bundle of kittens.
I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out.
It's warm and tingly.
But there's no time to waste! I put it in a bottle to keep it safe.
And I put the bottle on the shelf with all of the other bottles.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles, all in a row.
My collection makes me lots of friends.
Each bottle a starlight to make amends.
Sometimes my friend feels a certain way.
Down comes a bottle to save the day.
Night after night, more dreams.
Friend after friend, more bottles.
Deeper and deeper my fingers go.
Like exploring a dark cave, discovering the secrets hiding in the nooks and crannies.
Digging and digging.
Scraping and scraping.
I blow dust off my bottle caps.
It doesn't feel like time elapsed.
My empty shelf could use some more.
My friends look through my locked front door.
Finally, all done. I open up, and in come my friends.
In they come, in such a hurry. Do they want my bottles that much?
I frantically pull them from the shelf, one after the other.
Holding them out to each and every friend.
Each and every bottle.
But every time I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor.
They were supposed to be for my friends, my friends who aren't smiling.
They're all shouting, pleading. Something.
But all I hear is echo, echo, echo, echo, echo
Inside my head.
This poem was a lot longer and more mature than her previous. Maybe Natsuki's and Yuri's fight the previous day had affected her more than she had let on. The girl seemed to burden herself with making other people happy at her own expense. At least that's what he could gather from this poem.
Amy Likes Spiders
"Oh really?"
You know what I heard about Amy?
Amy likes spiders.
Icky, wriggly, hairy, ugly spiders!
That's why I'm not friends with her.
Amy has a cute singing voice.
I heard her singing my favorite love song.
Every time she sang the chorus, my heart would pound to the rhythm of the words.
But she likes spiders.
That's why I'm not friends with her.
"Aw…"
One time, I hurt my leg really bad.
Amy helped me up and took me to the nurse.
I tried not to let her touch me.
She likes spiders, so her hands are probably gross.
That's why I'm not friends with her.
Amy has a lot of friends.
I always see her talking to people.
She probably talks about spiders.
What if her friends start to like spiders too?
That's why I'm not friends with her.
It doesn't matter if she has other hobbies.
It doesn't matter if she keeps it private.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone.
It's gross.
She's gross.
The world is better off without spider lovers.
And I'm gonna tell everyone.
Natsuki's poem today seemed very straightforward, probably reflective of how people treated her because of her hobbies. Peter could relate to that, before he met Ned he didn't really have any friends and people picked on him for being smart and for being super into science and "nerd" stuff. It took a toll on him after a while. He remembered a time when he felt angry and irritated constantly. A part of him was still angry about…well everything, "That could explain why Natsuki is the way she is. Don't worry Amy, I think spiders are pretty cool."
The Raccoon
It happened in the dead of night while I was slicing bread for a guilty snack.
My attention was caught by the scuttering of a raccoon outside my window.
That was, I believe, the first time I noticed my strange tendencies as an unordinary
human.
I gave the raccoon a piece of bread, my subconscious well aware of the consequences.
Well aware that a raccoon that is fed will always come back for more.
The enticing beauty of my cutting knife was the symptom.
The bread, my hungry curiosity.
The raccoon, an urge.
The moon increments its phase and reflects that much more light off of my cutting
knife.
The very same light that glistens in the eyes of my raccoon friend.
I slice the bread, fresh and soft. The raccoon becomes excited.
or perhaps I'm merely projecting my emotions onto the newly-satisfied animal.
The raccoon has taken to following me.
You could say that we've gotten quite used to each other.
The raccoon becomes hungry more and more frequently, so my bread is always handy.
Every time I brandish my cutting knife the raccoon shows me its excitement.
A rush of blood. Classic Pavlovian conditioning. I slice the bread.
And I feed myself again.
Yuri's second poem was slightly more comprehensible than the first. Something to do with addiction, perhaps? By feeding the raccoon bread, something that you're not supposed to do, she's also feeding herself, "How does this relate to Yuri herself though?"
Peter felt slightly uneasy when it came time to read Monika's poem. Her first poem had been strange to say the least, so Peter prepared himself for something equally bizarre.
Save Me
The colors, they won't stop.
Bright, beautiful colors
Flashing, expanding, piercing
Red, green, blue
An endless
cacophony
Of meaningless
noise
The noise, it won't stop.
Violent, grating waveforms
Squeaking, screeching, piercing
Sine, cosine, tangent
Like playing a chalkboard on a turntable
Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust
An endless
poem
Of meaningless
Load Me
"Did Monika have a stroke when writing this poem? What in the world is this supposed to mean? Maybe my drug trip guess might be right after all…could that have something to do with why she was late today?" At this point Peter figured that these poems must be plot relevant, there was clearly thought put into each and every one of them. He just needed to put the pieces together, "What are you trying to tell me Monika…"
Monika: "Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes you'll find yourself facing a difficult decision…When that happens, don't forget to save your game! You never know when you might change your mind…or when something unexpected might happen! Wait…is this tip even about writing? What am I even talking about? Ahaha!"
"Wow, that was a sudden fourth-wall break. Direct too, kind takes you out of the experience." It wasn't uncommon for games to warn players to save before important moments, but they were usually a little more subtle about it than this, especially in story-focused games like visual novels.
Monika wanted everyone to perform their poems in front of the school at the school festival as a way to advertise the club. It was a novel idea, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do if it was his high school, "The rest of the school would definitely laugh me off the stage. I can already hear the 'Penis Parker' chants in my head…"
Natsuki: "Because! It's right in your name! Mon-ika!"
Monika: "Eh?! That's not how you say my name at all! Also, that joke makes no sense in translation!"
"She did it again…"
Sayori seemed spaced-out and distant today, "I wonder what's up with Sayori today, I hope she's doing okay." In-game Peter went to Monika to see if she knew what was making Sayori look so blue.
Monika: "I'm saying that maybe the thing on her mind is you, Peter."
Peter: "Me...?"
Peter could see where Monika was coming from, Sayori seemed to enjoy in-game Peter's company, pushing him to join her club, and even asking whether he'd rather walk home with her or another girl yesterday. Sayori clearly cared about in-game Peter, but what could have he done to get her so down in the dumps? To be honest he hoped Monika was wrong and it had to do with something else entirely, he'd feel terrible if he was responsible for Sayori's current mood, "...What am I saying, she's just a fictional character and *I* have done nothing to her!"
Monika goes to talk with Sayori, they have a conversation that in-game Peter conveniently can't hear, before Monika tells everyone it's time to share poems. Once again Peter chooses Sayori first, hoping her poem would reveal some useful information about her current mood, "This probably wouldn't work in real life. Realistically she probably wouldn't write about that, but I mean this is a story right?" However…
Sayori: "If you had fun with everyone else instead…This would be so much easier!"
Sayori's words made Peter's chest tighten, "No…it can't-are they really implying…?" Peter had heard words like that before, he knew what they meant and he didn't like it one bit, "T-There's no way, Sayori are you…"
Sayori: "Go play with everyone else. I'm gonna go home a little bit early today-"
Peter: "Sayori-"
Sayori: "Tell Monika, I wasn't feeling well, okay? I'll see you tomorrow-"
"Wait no-" However Sayori quickly left the classroom, before he could do anything, "That's not a good sign, I've gotta go after her!" Unfortunately Peter's only options were to share his poem with the remaining club members, "Damn…"
Peter shared his poem with Natsuki and Yuri who shared theirs in return. They both ended up writing poems involving beaches, but Peter's mind was too distracted about what Sayori had said to pay close attention to what they wrote. Now it was Monika's turn…
Monika: "That reminds me…About how Sayori's been a little off today…"
Peter: "Yeah? Did she tell you something?"
Monika: "Ah…Well…Peter you haven't been flirting with her, have you?"
"So it does have something to do with in-game Peter…something involving romance, but her and in-game Peter are getting along well, is it not enough for her? Is it too much?"
Monika: "It would be terrible if something bad happened to her, so keep an eye on her."
"..."
The Lady who Knows Everything
An old tale tells of a lady who wanders Earth.
The Lady who Knows Everything.
A beautiful lady who has found every answer,
All meaning,
All purpose,
And all that was ever sought.
And here I am,
a feather
Lost adrift the sky, victim of the currents of the wind.
Day after day, I search.
I search with little hope, knowing legends don't exist.
But when all else has failed me,
When all others have turned away,
The legend is all that remains-the last dim star glimmering in the twilight sky.
Until one day, the wind ceases to blow.
I fall.
And I fall and fall, and fall even more.
Gentle as a feather.
A dry quill, expressionless.
But a hand catches me, between the thumb and forefinger.
The hand of a beautiful lady.
I look at her eyes and find no end to her gaze.
The Lady who Knows Everything knows what I am thinking.
Before I can speak, she responds in a hollow voice.
"I have found every answer, all of which amount to nothing.
There is no meaning.
There is no purpose.
And we seek only the impossible.
I am not your legend.
Your legend does not exist."
And with a breath, she blows me back afloat, and I pick up a gust of wind.
Monika's poem is a lot different this time around, suspiciously so. This poem seemed to be about the meaning of life and how nobody truly knows what that is, there wasn't a person, woman or otherwise who knew everything. From his own experiences, he believed that sentiment was correct: scientists, wizards, aliens and even supposed gods weren't perfect and didn't know everything. It's a comforting fact, knowing everyone else is just as confused as you, "Well at least for me, there's one thing I know for sure is true."
Monika: "You know…I feel like learning and looking for answers are the sorts of things that give life meaning. Not to get too philosophical or anything…But it was kind of on my mind, so that's what I wrote about.
Peter: "I see…I never really put much thought into it."
Monika: "In a way, it's almost paradoxical. Because if we had all the answers, wouldn't the world start to lose all its meaning?"
Interesting, they did somehow relate to her other poems? Did Monika have some kind of epiphany about life? Is that what she saw through the 'hole'?
Peter: "You know, there's one thing I noticed…It seems everyone in the club prefers writing about things that are more sad than happy."
Monika: "Ahaha. Are you surprised? I mean, if everything was okay…We wouldn't have anything to write about, would we?"
"Would that really be so bad…?"
Monika: "Humans aren't two-dimensional creatures. I think you'd know that better than anyone."
"...?"
Natsuki: "Seriously?" Of all the times to not go home with her, you pick the time she's not feeling well? So much for you two being all lovey-dovey."
"Yeah man, how could you leave her alone after she said that!"
Peter: "She's kind of been avoiding me today, so I didn't want to force it…"
"I mean fair enough, but still!"
The club began discussing plans to prepare for the school festival over the weekend. Monika and Sayori were putting together pamphlets, Natsuki was baking cupcakes, and Yuri was making decorations. However, that left in-game Peter with nothing to do, so now they were fighting over who he would help out over the weekend.
"Seriously?! What do they see in me…I mean in-game Peter."
Monika: "Guys, guys! Let's settle down for a moment...In the end, I think it's up to Peter to decide how he'd like to contribute. Besides...He hasn't really gotten the chance to spend any time with me yet, you know? So I'm sure he's interested in–"
Natsuki: "You literally just said–"
Yuri: "I-I'm surprised as well!"
Monika: "Sorry, sorry! I was just saying, though…"
Peter now had to choose between Yuri, Natsuki, Sayori and surprisingly enough Monika. That was interesting, he thought Monika wasn't a possible route, but he seemingly had the option to spend time with her and she seemed to want to spend time with him. However Sayori's well-being took priority, so he clicked her name...
Natsuki: "Monika said that Sayori was helping her! Jeez...Do you really hate us that much?"
"Damn…" No luck, it was a fake option. He now had the choice between Monika, Sayori, and Yuri, "Well if Sayori is helping Monika, maybe I'll be able to talk to her if I choose Monika. Also I can't say I'm not curious about Monika and whatever is going on with her…" Peter clicked Monika's name, however…
Natsuki: You were the one who scared him into picking you in the first place. You're the club president, Monika. You're supposed to make responsible decisions for the club!"
Yuri: "Monika, you shouldn't let any ulterior motives interfere with this decision."
Monika: "Ulterior motives? W-What are you saying, Yuri? In fact, it sounds like you guys are the ones with ulterior motives!"
Natsuki: "Excuse me?"
Monika: "Otherwise...this wouldn't have been made into such a big deal in the first place!"
He had to agree with the club president, Yuri and Natsuki weren't exactly being subtle about their desires, "I just don't understand, in-game Peter seems like the most dime-a-dozen guy out there. We've known each other for less than a week! Why are they fighting over me?! Why do they even like me?!" Unfortunately Monika relented and now he was left to choose between Natsuki and Yuri.
"You can't be serious…Argh! I just wanna help my friend!" Peter thought it was strange that the game was going out of the way to make him avoid both Monika and Sayori. Perhaps Sayori was locked off because of the plot but with Monika it was strange, Natsuki and Yuri were almost being antagonistic to Monika there.
In the end he chose Yuri on a whim. Natsuki didn't seem to like that very much and Yuri was somehow surprised despite the fact she was adamantly fighting against him spending time with Monika or Sayori. Luckily Natsuki managed to get over it quickly and the club adjourned for the day, with Yuri and himself exchanging numbers and planning to meet up at his house on Sunday.
"But who knows what might end up happening when we're outside of school? She even told me she was looking forward to it..."
"..." Peter just shook his head.
Sunday came and thankfully in-game Peter finally decided to check up on Sayori before Yuri arrived. In-game Peter just casually walks into Sayori's house and heads into her bedroom, "Does she just leave her house unlocked or does he have a key or something?" He finds Sayori inside, she isn't her bright and cheerful self just like the last time he saw her, but otherwise seems like she is okay or at the very least unhurt. In-game Peter and Sayori began to talk, she had heard about him and Yuri meeting up thanks to Monika, Peter understood why the club president would tell her that, but he wished she hadn't, though Sayori would have likely found out eventually. Then In-game Peter decided to address the elephant in the room and asked Sayori about what was wrong…
Sayori: "That's no good, Peter."
Peter: "Eh?"
Sayori: "Why can't it just be like it's always been? This is all my fault. If I didn't get so weak and accidentally express my feelings...If I didn't make that stupid mistake...Then you wouldn't have been worried about me at all. You wouldn't have come here. You wouldn't have even been thinking about me right now. But this...is just my punishment, isn't it? I'm getting punished for being so selfish. I think that's why the world decided to have you come over today. "It just wants to torture me. Ehehe~"
"Sayori..." Peter felt sick inside. Sayori's words hit home for him, she saw herself as a burden on those she cared about…he had similar feelings before. However there was one clear difference between the two of them. Sayori was innocent, she hadn't done anything to deserve feeling this way, but he had. He had been weak. He had made mistakes. He had been selfish. He actually had hurt the people he cared about, she hadn't. And Peter knew how it could feel like the world itself was punishing you. It was heartbreaking knowing this kind girl was feeling the same way.
Sayori: "You're wrong. Nothing happened to me. I've always been like this. You're just seeing it for the first time."
Peter: "Seeing what? What are you talking about, Sayori?
Sayori: "Ehehe~You're really just going to make me say it, aren't you, Peter? I guess I have no choice this time. The thing is...I've had really bad depression my whole life. Did you know that? Why do you think I'm late to school every day? Because most days, I can't even find a reason to get out of bed. What reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am? Why go to school? Why eat? Why make friends? Why make other people put their energy and caring to waste by having them spend it on me? That's what it feels like. And that's why I just want to make everyone happy...Without anyone worrying about me."
"..." That had hurt to read. Peter had figured that Sayori must be suffering from some kind of mental illness like depression, but hearing that she seemingly had been this way for a long time without in-game Peter ever knowing was surprising and concerning. "How did in-game Peter never notice? There must have been signs, especially when she was younger. Surely her parents would say something to his parents, right?" It was also interesting to see the game flat out say Sayori had depression, usually fictional stories are more subtle about that kind of stuff.
Sayori: "I don't want to be cared about. It's bittersweet, when people try to care about me. It feels nice sometimes. But it also feels like a bat being swung against my head. Ahaha~ That's why I wanted so badly for you to make friends with everyone else...Helping everyone be happy together is the best thing for me. But then, I discovered something else, too. Seeing you make friends and get closer with everyone in the club...It feels like a spear going through my heart. So, that's why. That's why I decided the world just wants to torture me. Every path leads to nothing but hurt. Ahaha~"
"Sayori is being torn up inside by her conflicting desires. She both wants to be with in-game Peter and simultaneously not burden him with her presence…" Peter wished he could do something to comfort the crying girl, luckily in-game Peter had his back. In-game Peter wrapped Sayori into a hug and promised that he would do whatever was necessary to help Sayori, making plans to spend the festival together. It was a nice gesture, but potentially dangerous. Sayori might see herself as taking time away from in-game Peter spending time with the other members and therefore being a burden on him. However no matter what he did or didn't do with Sayori, it would likely hurt her in some way, it was a tough situation. He needed to somehow convince her that she wasn't a burden to him, and that she deserves to be happy. But in the end he could only do so much for Sayori, only a professional could probably truly help her with what she was going through…
Peter took a deep breath, before he knew it he had become captivated by the game's story. "This is probably why Ned had recommended this game, at first it seems like a shallow dating simulator then it hits you with this…I wonder if the other girls have something similar going on. Both Natsuki and Yuri seem like their dealing with their own issues and there's definitely something weird going on with Monika. Hmm…"
In-game Peter offered to cancel his meet up with Yuri or have Sayori come over to his house to work together with himself and Yuri, but the vice-president refused. And so the two parted ways, Peter wasn't a fan of leaving Sayori alone after all that but they did promise to hang out at the school festival so things should be fine for the time being.
In-game Peter found Yuri waiting in front of his house, "A sweater? It's a little warm for that kind of outfit isn't it? Then again I don't actually know what season it is here, it looks bright and sunny outside but maybe it's kinda chilly…" They enter his house together and begin getting to work on decorations for the school one point Yuri pulled out a fancy pocket knife…
Yuri: "The thing is, I'm kind of into knives...They're just...so pretty...They're just...so pretty...I don't know what it is...The combination of craftsmanship and feeling of danger, maybe..."
"I suppose everyone has their hobbies, as long as those knives don't end up inside me or anyone else…" It was a bit of a surprise to see a self-conscious bookworm like Yuri be so into weaponry, but it was also kinda interesting. MJ also had a ton of odd interests, he had always enjoyed when she talked about them even if it could be quite morbid at times…
In-game Peter asks Yuri to hold the knife and he accidently cuts his finger with it, "Nice job idiot, what did you think was going to happen?" Then something bizarre happened.
"Without warning, Yuri puts my finger in her mouth and licks the wound."
"W-What?! W-Why would she do that?!" Peter was incredibly grossed out and incredibly concerned by Yuri's behaviour, "That can not be sanitary."
"I take Yuri's hand and lick her index finger in return."
"What is going on?!" How did the game go from a very heavy scene about depression with Sayori to…whatever this was?
In-game Peter and Yuri began painting with watercolours until In-game Peter accidently spelt some paint on Yuri. He quickly got a wet towel and wiped her off and the two of them had a moment.
Yuri: "Just...for a little longer. It feels really nice..."
"Bro, are you really having a steamy moment with a girl when your best friend just told you she had severe depression!" It was romantic he guessed, but he just couldn't really get into it for numerous reasons. There was Sayori's situation as he mentioned before, but there was also the fact that in-game Peter and Yuri have only just met a few days ago, it was hard for him to believe that Yuri would gain feelings for him so quickly, "I mean I knew MJ for a long time before I started having feelings for her, I guess I'm just supposed to suspend my disbelief…"
Yuri: "You're very thoughtful, Peter. I kind of like that about you..."
"That kinda makes it sound like being thoughtful isn't a thing other people normally like."
Peter: "Well..."
"How am I supposed to respond to that? But I don't even get a chance to, as Yuri suddenly pulls back."
Yuri: "S-Sayori–?"
"Oh no…"
Embarrassed by the situation, Yuri swiftly takes her leave. Leaving in-game Peter with his childhood friend.
Peter: "Sayori–I thought you didn't want to come over today!"
Sayori: "Ahaha, well...I tried staying in my room...But my imagination was being really mean to me...So I had to come here and see it for myself."
"Damn, this is the worst possible thing that could have happened…"
Sayori: "You know...How much fun you were having with Yuri. And how close you got to her. It makes me...really happy...That you've made such good friends. That's all that matters to me."
"Tears start to fall down Sayori's face."
Sayori: "That's all that matters to me–! Why am I feeling this way, Peter? I'm supposed to be happy for you. Why does it feel like my heart is splitting in half? It hurts so much...Everything hurts so much…This would be so much better if I could just disappear!"
"Bad Sign! Bad Sign! Bad Sign!" Peter grimaced, the sick feeling in his stomach returning. He really didn't like where this was going.
Peter: "Sayori, don't say that!"
Sayori: "It's true, Peter! If I wasn't here, then you wouldn't have to waste your sympathy on me! You wouldn't have to put up with me being selfish! Monika was right...I should just…"
"Monika?" What had Monika said to Sayori? What was she 'right' about…? Peter pushed those thoughts aside for now, he needed to focus on Sayori.
Sayori: "I like you so much that I want to die! And...and…"
Peter: "That's enough, Sayori...I don't want you to hurt anymore."
"I slide my hand down Sayori's arm and squeeze her hand in my own.
Peter: "Do you remember how I said I always know what's best for you? Do you still believe me?"
"Wordlessly, Sayori nods."
Peter: "Even if you don't understand all of your own feelings...I know what you need the most right now."
"Y-You do?" To be honest, it doesn't seem like in-game Peter didn't know much with regards to Sayori.
Peter: "And that's what I'm going to give to you. Sayori..."
The game displayed two options.
"I love you."
"You'll always be my dearest friend."
"Wha…?" Peter didn't like either option presented to him, "Why can't there be a 'go to therapy' option?!" There had to be a "correct" choice here, but which was it? Sayori was nowhere near being in the right place mentally to be in a romantic relationship. And he doubted being in one was going to help her with mental health issues, in fact they might make them worse. But on the other hand, friendzoning her right now might hurt her even more… "Argh! What should I do?!" Peter pondered for a moment before reaching a decision, "This is a fictional romance story at the end of the day, and not real life. So even if it isn't really realistic, choosing the 'I love you.' will probably lead to the best possible result, and if it doesn't…" Peter quickly saved the game in a separate save slot, "...I can always go back and change it. Too bad I can't do this in real life."
Peter: "I love you."
Peter: "I say that, but in reality, I've never felt more uncertain when it comes to Sayori. I know that I love her, and she loves me. But I'm having as much trouble understanding Sayori's feelings as she is. Even though I can comfort her...I keep wondering if I should be doing something more, or something different."
"Me too in-game Peter, me too…" He was filled with confidence that he had made the right decision back there, if there was a right decision there to begin with. He could only hope things would turn out okay for the girl.
It was the day of the festival and Sayori was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't picking up her phone and in-game Peter decided to not go to her house to wake her up, "Dammit man, why wouldn't you check on her after everything that happened yesterday! It's okay to be overly-cautious considering the circumstances!" Monika is the only one at the club room when he arrives.
Monika: "Ahaha. You should take a little responsibility for her, Peter! I mean, especially after your exchange with her yesterday...You kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?"
"She's right y'know. Wait, she knows about that? I guess Sayori must have told her." Out of everyone Monika seemed like she was always in the know about everything going on with the club.
Monika: "Don't worry. I probably know a lot more than you think."
That line bothered Peter for some reason.
There's a new poem by Sayori in the pamphlets made by Monika.
Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of
Get.
Out.
Of.
My.
Head.
Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you.
Get out of my head before I listen to everything she said to me.
Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you.
Get out of my head before I finish writing this poem.
But a poem is never actually finished.
It just stops moving.
"No! This is-!" Peter felt sick to his stomach once again, in-game Peter felt the same way too, immediately taking his leave and making his way to Sayori's home as quickly as possible, cursing himself for not going sooner. Peter had to agree.
He arrives at Sayori's house. He knocks at the front door. There's no answer. He enters the house and calls Sayori's name. There is no answer. He goes upstairs and knocks on the door to Sayori's 's no answer. Peter's heart is beating faster and faster.
He gently opens the door.
Sayori's lifeless body is hanging from the ceiling.
She had killed herself.
The game began glitching out with static, quickly displaying distorted images from the intro and error warnings in the background, all while playing disturbing music in the background.
His sixth sense was tingling.
Peter stared at the screen silently, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. This couldn't be real.
"Why would she do this...? How could I be so helpless? What did I do wrong? Confessing to her...I shouldn't have confessed to her. That's not what Sayori needed at all. She even told me how painful it is for others to care about her. Then why did I confess to her, and make her feel even worse? Why was I so selfish? This is my fault-!"
"My fault…"
"This is all my fault, May."
"My swarming thoughts keep telling me everything I could have done to prevent this. If I just spent more time with her. And remained friends with her, like it always has been..."...Then I could have prevented this. I know I could have prevented this!
"When will people wake up and realise that everywhere Spider-Man goes, chaos and calamity ensue."
"And now I'll carry this guilt with me until I die. Nothing in my life is worth more than hers...But I still couldn't do what she needed from now...I can never take it back. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never…"
"I may have struck the blow, hehe. But you…hehe…you are the one who killed her."
END
Peter's hands were shaking. His eyes had tears in them. His head was buzzing. He clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath, "It's just a game, it's just a game, just a game…" To be honest, this wasn't the first time he had an 'incident' like this, suddenly and vividly recalling painful memories, but it was usually in dreams and not caused by a fictional story. Granted he'd been avoiding really heavy stuff…Bad memories aside, this hurt…Sayori…Sayori didn't deserve this and it destroyed Peter that he couldn't help her. He hadn't felt so powerless in a long time, being a prisoner to the game's story. But the game was right, he had made the wrong choice hoping the 'power of love' would solve everything…
Taking another breath he turned back to screen, "It's okay, I can fix this…I can-" What Peter saw next sent shivers down his spine. He was back on the main menu, but Sayori...Sayori was gone. Instead there was corrupted and glitched art that looked like the other club members' arts mashed together. The 'New Game' option was also messed up, the text replaced with strange gibberish.
He felt the tingle again, warning him of danger…
"W-What exactly is this game…?!"
To Be Continued…
So what do you think? If you notice any grammar or spellings errors I missed, please let me know.
Also a couple things to note:
1. Next chapter will the second part of DDLC, then we'll be moving into the main plot
2. You've probably noticed I'm skipping over some dialouge/scenes, I was originally just going to skip to the ending of DDLC but I figured that people might want to see Peter's reaction to some of the scene from the original game, plus it helps build up his realtionship with the characters
3. I hope none of Peter comments about the game or characters offends anyone, his opinions don't reflect mine
4. I don't plan on having cameos from any other Marvel Heroes.
5. I'm trying to be canon compliant as possible to both series, but I may make mistakes or purposely tweak things to better fit my story
Anyways I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'll try to get the next one out as soon as possible