Disclaimer: I don't own Batman.
Otto stood in his trailer filling up his coffee mug, and drinking a sip before grabbing his two knife pouches, and heading outside with them. As he walked towards the training yard, he heard some grunting and gasps coming from where his targets were set up for practice. He walked over with curiosity and anger at whoever dared to touch his equipment without permission. When he reached his little section, he froze.
There stood Damian with various knives throwing at a target that was covered completely in holes and the template sheet was beginning to fall off the board. Damian didn't seem to notice and quickly threw knife after knife breathing heavy. The teen then noticed Otto standing there, but quickly ran over to the target to grab his set of 6 shuriken throwing stars from the board. Once they were all collected, he ran back to his starting position. As Damian grabbed two of his stars and pulled his arms back to throw them, Otto could see Damian's hands were trembling. Regardless, he still threw his shurikens that completely missed their target. Otto's eyes narrowed at this.
"Alright, stop!" Otto snapped. Damian once more ignored him and picked up the rest of his stars and threw them. With that, Otto let out a long sigh. "If you're going to come here and dare to use a performer's equipment, let alone mine without asking, at least use it right," he continued and laid out one of his knife pouches. With that, Damian closed his eyes with his fists clenched while Otto went to set up another board nearby the one Damian was using. When he was done, Otto went back and took another sip of his coffee before going to sharpen the knives in his other knife pouch. Damian then quickly grabbed the knives which were much heavier than his throwing stars. He picked one up in each hand and threw them as hard as he could one after the other. The boy's breathing became harder afterwards, but he picked up more and kept throwing faster. Meanwhile, Otto started to throw his own set of knives which landed just on the outside of the inner most circle. He continued this until he made a perfect circle on his board. When he was finished, he looked over and saw Damian had pulled his arm back, but his hand was trembling so much, that when he threw it, it only went a few feet in front of him. At the same time, Damian felt his legs buckle under him and he fell to the ground. He then started beating the ground and struggling to hide the liquid in his eyes that he rarely showed. Otto then set his knives down and walked over to him.
"Krijger, what's happened?" Otto asked.
"What do you care?!" Damian snapped.
"Because it's obviously affecting you right now," he stated.
"F*** off!" Damian cursed and stood up on shaky legs trying to hit Otto. Otto dodged and pinned the teen to the ground and grabbed one of his knives and held it to his neck. Damian tried, but his body had stopped responding to him.
"I'll give you space, but the next time you touch my equipment or try to attack me, I won't be so forgiving," he warned. Otto released Damian and left him on the ground trying to catch his breath as he walked away.
"I knew it," Damian growled under his breath.
"Pardon?" Otto asked.
"I knew something was wrong the minute he walked into dinner last night, and I just ignored it! I didn't want to care about whatever was bothering him. Then I walked in on him about to…..he tried to j…" Damian now reached for his hair and pulled at it before he felt nauseous. "Grayson…tried to k-kill himself," he finally muttered.
"WAT?!" Otto gasped and ran to kneel in front of Damian. "Where is he right now?!" he demanded.
"He's with Father and Pennyworth," Damian whined.
"Okay! He's safe now. That's all that matters!" Otto said.
"BUT IT'S NOT!" Damian shrieked. "I almost killed him! I went into 'focus mode' and…..I choked him. I don't know why I did but…. I didn't know what else to do. Father had to pull me off him so he could..." that's when Damian slammed his fists into the ground. Otto just listened to the boy's rant, and then put his hands on the boy's shoulders which Damian pushed off. "And who's to say he won't try to kill himself again?!"
"He might, but that's just something we'll deal with later. Right now, you and frankly all of us will have to take things one step at a time. I believe the first step for now is for you to go be with him and your dad," Otto suggested.
"What good would I do?" Damian admitted.
"You've got a lot to make-up for, krijger, but now's the time to get started; right when your brother needs you the most."
"He's not my….h-he's not my brother!" Damian stuttered.
"He's not?" Otto asked.
"No!" Damian snapped unconsciously touching his left wrist.
"Could have fooled me with how quickly you defended his honor when last we had our little throwing session," Otto said.
"Well not anymore!" Damian hissed.
"Is that why you're clenching your left wrist? If I remember correctly from one of Jack's bonfires reading session of Dick's letters, isn't that your brotherhood mark?" With that, Damian clenched his wrist harder. A quick memory played in his mind of that night he and Grayson had made that promise to one another. He remembered how cruel he had been to the then six-year-old, and swore to make it up to the young boy; his blood brother.
"Even if I did go to him, he won't want to talk to me. I just make everything worse when he looks at me."
"Yes, he most definitely won't want to talk with you; I wouldn't want to either. So, focus your energy on how you're going to fix it; if that is what you want," Otto said.
"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Damian asked.
"I'm afraid I don't have an answer to that question. Like I said, go be with him and your dad and try to figure out what is stopping the two of you from having the relationship you had. I know we don't know each other that well besides our brief interactions, but I am willing to help you understand and figure things out if you wish. But if you could kindly knock on my trailer door first before you go rummaging through my or anyone else's belongings here. I'm strict, but you don't want to mess with the wrong person; especially a circus family," Otto said. Damian closed his eyes and took a few slow breaths.
"F-fine," Damian said after he opened his eyes. "I'll go be with him and father."
"Alright. Please keep us updated. I'll keep things quiet around here until Mr. Wayne calls Jack which I know he will," Otto said.
"I'll make sure he does. You have my word," Damian promised. He then got up with his legs still shaking, but not like before.
"Will you be able to make it?" Otto asked.
"I'll make it. Thank you," Damian said bowing his head. And left the training area to where he had thrown his bike.
Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break
Leslie's clinic
Damian walked into the private entrance to Leslie's free clinic that was saved just for the Wayne family; most when capes were on. Lying unconscious on the medical bed was Dick with his hand bandaged as well as most of his neck. Next to him sat his adopted father resting his head in the boy's black hair as he stroked his face.
"Why?" Bruce asked. Then he heard a noise from behind him and saw his eldest son standing there. "Damian!" he said and stood up.
"H-he's alright, right?" Bruce didn't answer him. He just stared. "I…I didn't mean to do it. I swear!" he continued as more tears started to roll down his cheek before Bruce walked forward towards him. "I k-know what you're going to say and I deserve it. I….I lost control and almost broke our…your code of honor. But what did you expect me to do?! Huh?! What would you have done if you walked in on him about to jump out of the damn window after everything we've been through?!" Bruce finally stopped moving right in front of his eldest.
"Go on! Tell me how much I'm 'the screw up son' and how disappointing my entire life is! I've finally come to accept that that's all I'll ever be to you and anyone else for that matter! Ra's! Talia! You! Grayson! All I've done is be disappointments no matter how hard I've tried to please you! It doesn't matter what I think or why! I know what I did was wrong, but…I didn't know what he was going to do and….I couldn't take that risk."
Bruce then cupped Damian's cheek and cleared the tear tracks that had unknowingly been rolling down his face. As soon as he did, more tears started to roll down but much faster. With that, Bruce grabbed his son and hugged him. Damian didn't return the hug, but he did let the rest of his tears fall. Every time the teen gasped and let out a shaky breath, Bruce held him tighter. Bruce rested his head on his son's, and ran his fingers through his dark hair similar to his own.
"It's okay. We're going to work through this together; even if I have to hand over the investigation to Jim for a while. We'll make sure that he never feels like this again," Bruce promised.
"There you are! Thank heavens," Alfred said walking in with a cup of tea and coffee. As Alfred went to put the cups on the nearby table, Damian moved backwards so his father would release him.
"Are you alright?" Bruce asked.
"Don't worry about me. How is he?" Damian asked.
"Ms. Thompkins bandaged up his wounds and put some cream around his neck where…*ahem*, but he is going to be just fine physically," Alfred explained before looking sorrowfully at the young acrobat.
All of a sudden, movement caught the group's attention from the bed. Bruce and Alfred walked over to the bed, while Damian stayed where he was. Gruesome images of him in his blood brother's bedroom choking him flashed through Damian's memory. The teen then bolted out of the room.
"Damian…" Bruce called. He made eye-contact with his eldest for a moment, and saw him hide out of sight against the wall just outside the room. Dick slowly opened his eyes and instantly started looking around the room in confusion.
"Hey, look at me, Dick. You're okay. You're safe," Bruce said. Dick's expression relaxed a little. "How are you feeling?"
"Hurts," Dick muttered in a hoarse voice while rubbing his neck.
"Yeah, Leslie said that's normal and it may feel like that for a few days. Luckily, Leslie's gonna get you some cream to help with that. Then Alfred's gonna go get you a whole tube of it after we go home," Bruce said with Alfred nodding his head. That's when Bruce's expression turned serious.
"Dick…why did you do it?" Dick's expression dropped, and turned away from the two.
'You couldn't even finish the job and make all of this go away! You're useless!'
"Sir, perhaps we shouldn't press that right now until after we have a word with Ms. Thompkins," Alfred said. Bruce squeezed his lips together
"Alright, but this conversation is far from over," Bruce said. As Damian continued to watch from outside, he didn't notice Leslie walking up behind him.
"Oh, he's awake? Good. I need to do another checkup now that he is. Damian, you know you're more than welcome to go in, right?" Leslie asked.
"I don't want to," Damian said.
"Actually, that was phrased wrong. I'm about to get the discharge papers ready, but I have to have a meeting with the entire family to come up with a safety plan for him; that means you two," she said.
"Discharge? Is he ready for that already?" Damian asked.
"Well, I've done all I can for him. The rest will be up to your father. That's why I want to have a meeting with all of you to talk about what comes next," Leslie explained.
"You can do it with just Father and Pennyworth," Damian insisted.
"That's not how it's going to work. I need everyone on the same page while we work through the suicidal thoughts and begin to heal," Leslie said. Damian showed no signs of moving. "You won't have to say anything to Dick if you don't want to. It's just a quick understanding of what we're going to do if something like this happens again." Damian hesitated for a moment, but eventually nodded.
"Thank you," she said. Afterwards, the two of them went in. Damian and Dick looked at each other before instantly turning to look at something else. Damian fought the urge to run back out into the hallway or even further. Leslie quickly took Dick's vitals and gathered everyone around.
"So, here's the deal in order for me to be able to send you home. I'm making an executive order banning you from all unsupervised activities and especially down in the manor's basement. Anything sharp or access to weapons will be under strict lock and key," Leslie said.
"At once," Alfred assured and also gave a quick nod at Damian. Damian acknowledged the butler before putting his hands over his pockets that had his knife and shurikins from his session with Otto.
"Great. Next is creating our safety plan. If you are having those thoughts again, what are some things that you can do to cope with it?" Leslie asked.
"I don't know," Dick said.
"These are things that can maybe distract yourself or people who you can talk to if you're feeling bad," Leslie said.
"I guess I could talk to Jack, or Rita and Zane, and anyone else in the circus. If not, then I guess I can talk to Alfred," Dick said.
"You can always talk to me about anything too, Dick," Bruce said. Dick then fidgeted in his seat.
"Try not to put any words in his mouth, Bruce," Leslie said. "And for things you can do to try and distract yourself of any bad thoughts for a little while? And flying is out of the question," she said.
"Hanging out at the circus, floor gymnastics, and playing video games?" Dick said.
"Perfect. And remember, these activities are to be supervised by someone," Leslie warned.
"Fine," Dick whined.
"I'm going to make a copy of this and give it to Bruce. You can reference it at any time. I need you to sign the bottom for me," Leslie said. Dick grabbed a nearby pen and sighed his name: Dick Grayson. Both Bruce and Leslie noticed that he did not add the 'Wayne' part of his name. "Thank you. I also have for you a list of local psychologists and therapists for you to give a call as a follow-up, and to continue working through the struggles that you've been going through lately," she continued not failing to notice Bruce flinch.
"Nothing is going on," Dick insisted, and Leslie looked unimpressed.
"Honey, you attempted to commit suicide. There are definitely some deep things going. Not just with you, but the entire family since you returned from that kidnapping," she stated. Damian shot a quick glance over at Dick, but once again, as soon as the two made eye-contact, Damian once again instantly looked away.
"I'll…..I'll look into it," Bruce admitted.
"That I can assure you," Alfred said glaring at his first charge.
"Very well, then that takes care of everything and you are free to go," she finished.
"Thank you so much for everything, Leslie" Bruce said.
"My pleasure. If you need anything Richard or just need to talk, I'm just a phone call away," Leslie said. Dick just nodded. With one last goodbye the family left.
Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break*Break
"Thank God. I just can't believe…how could he do something like this?!" Jack asked.
"I'm not sure. I'm just thankful that Damian got there on time; not with the choking but you understand," Bruce said.
"Now will you get him the help he needs?!" Jack demanded.
"I'm working on it. His pediatrician gave me a list of psychologists and therapists that I'm researching. I'm thinking about this one psychologist in Star City. She has really good reviews and credentials, but I'm still looking," Bruce explained.
"Good. Thanks for the update, Bruce. Tell him that the whole circus is rooting for him, and that he'll never have to feel alone ever. Remind him that he's a member of the Haly family too," Jack said.
"I will. Goodbye, Jack," Bruce said, and hung up. After that he watched Dick as he was fast asleep on the living room couch. Alfred meanwhile was locking everything sharp in the safe. He also got multiple 2-way window locks for the second and third floors that Damian was helping install; one with a key, and one button on Bruce's phone. As he watched his son sleep, he tried to picture what his life would have been like if the boy had completed his intention. How could he claim to be a hero if he couldn't protect what matter to him the most; more than Batman and all his money? How had he managed to live without this feeling for his children for so long? And why had he ignored his son's feelings for all this time? With that, Bruce slowly goes up and walked over to the sleeping boy. With that, he placed a soft kiss on Dick's hair without waking him.
Yes, things were going to change.
I know it's been a while, but I'm glad that I could post this before the holidays were over. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see everyone in 2024!
Until next time!
LaurenHardy13