The Navy Wants You!
Welcome to Marineford Daily News, your only source of accurate and unbiased truth.
Having proven without doubt during the War of the Best, that they are the an effective bulwark against the darkness, the naval command has now decided to expand upon their functions. No longer content to merely shield the world from the despicable pirates, it has been decided that the marines will need to take the fight to them. Especially now, that the countless dregs of society have taken to the seas in order to take advantage of the temporary re-organization of marine personnel. All of them fools who believe the mad ramblings of a dying man. The World Government has issued a statement refuting any rumors that an item commonly called the "One Piece" exists, claiming it to be a fable started by Gold Roger and supported by Whitebeard in an attempt to sow chaos.
In order to bring a swift end to the current disturbances and to reestablish peace and order, the World Government, in their infinite wisdom, have issued the World Military Draft with the full approval of the Five Elders from the Holy Land of Mariejois.
With the honorable retirements of Admiral Aokiji and Fleet Admiral Sengoku, and the promotion of Admiral Akainu to fill the gap left behind by the aforementioned Fleet Admiral Sengoku, the Navy is clearly awash with new opportunities for the motivated and the just.
Among the first notable recruits are the new Vice-Admirals Issho and Aramaki. Both of them gentlemen of extraordinary talent and skill, who have long harbored a personal desire to serve the greater good and have eagerly accepted the opportunity to enlist in our glorious institution via the World Military Draft. As of now, they're on a very short list of several candidates for the two vacancies for the post of Admiral.
We, the people (and the editorial staff) wish them and all other recruits, the best of luck! May they serve valiantly and true, and show those evil pirates who dare to spit on our sacrifices, the futility in chasing a pipe dream rather than integrating into the current world order.
To the rest of the world, a message from Marine HQ.
The Navy wants YOU!
Be at the forefront of the battle for justice, the glorious vanguard of order. Be the successor to thousands upon thousands of heroes who have served valiantly for the cause and be remembered for may days to come for your sacrifice (of your free time, not your life). Join the Marines and show the world that the Shield and Hammer of Order is as strong as ever. Justice will always prevail!
So far, the statement delivered by the Marine spokesperson.
Please follow us to never miss an update on the best news reports this side of the Red Line.
This was Marineford Daily reporting.