Three days after Shao expressed his intention to marry her, he took Mulan to his quarter, saying that he had something to give her. Along the way he continuously blurted the details of his plan and their packed schedules intertwined with names and figures that sounded completely alien to her.
"Wait, next week you are going to take me in front of the council?" Mulan asked in disbelief.
"Unfortunately, no one is above tradition. If we were going to get married, it's part of the protocol. But first, let me introduce you to Ting Ting."
"I know Ting Ting," Mulan said a little too quickly. "By 'know' I mean I saw her a couple of times when I accompanied Ling to the market."
"I figured. But I warned you, my sister—she is a little… well, she is my sister. Anyway, just anticipate it. She may drill you and put a disclaimer of what kind of man you may find out weeks after the wedding."
"I bet it was like horror stories for some girls who dated you."
"Maybe, thankfully, most girls were just here to dig into my pocket and things like that. So they were pretty chilled about me sleeping around. But that won't be the case after I marry you."
Her voice utterly failed her. Had he just admitted something more than platonic? No, it can't be. Shao was a friend first and foremost. They've agreed to this.
Shao took the necklace, holding it steady. He was just about to envelop it around her neck when she blurted, "Aren't you supposed to ask me first?"
"Am I? This is just a sham marriage. Do you want a sham proposal too?"
Mulan shrugged. "Shang had never proposed me. So perhaps this is the closest one I get to a real thing."
Although Mulan was an incredibly independent woman, marriage had always been on her agenda and especially given her own parents' marriage was very close to perfection. And her elderly father would have been worried sick if she ended up a spinster or widowed, pushing the nuptial arrangement even higher priority. She used to have a dream of a healthy relationship, perfect bonds out of love and respect. Yes, of course she had. Every girl did at one point or another. But if there was one thing Mulan had learned while growing up, it's that sometimes dreams don't come true and sometimes life has other plans. Her marriage to Shang was one of them—a figment of her romantic fantasy that had turned her life upside down. But still, she dared herself to continue to dream. So when Shao Wei continued to just stare at her with a bland expression, she got annoyed.
"You could at least try to humour me."
Shao sniggered as he plucked a necklace with a large jade as a pendant, far too ostentatious jewellery for a woman like her to wear as a dowry.
"Fa Mulan," he said, his voice deep but his eyes belying the seriousness of his tone, "Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"
She faked a sniff and then smiled, a tight forced thing. "Yes, I would love to, My Prince."
"Beautiful," he muttered sardonically and he looped the necklace onto her neck, positioning it nicely at the base of her chest. He squeezed her hand before letting go.
Through the reflective surface of the mirror, Mulan just stared at the sight of the necklace with this incredible pendant catching all the light in the room. The jewel undoubtedly had cost someone a small fortune, unlike the wooden yin-yang necklace which she inherited from her father, a symbol of her past union with Shang…
Her heart suddenly ached with grief of him, for its missing memorabilia and the emptier love that was growing where he had once stood. The emotion swamped her. Shao Wei could never be what Shang had been, even if she wished for it.
"I'll make you happy," he said quietly as if he could hear her thoughts. He could not be more explicit. He should not ever spell out what he felt.
"You are terribly kind, Shao Wei," she said with difficulty. "I hope I can…."
"You will make me happy," he insisted. "And I'll try my best to make you happy."
"But I don't deserve…"
He looked oddly torn, but quickly regained composure and whispered calmly into her ears.
"So am I."
The news of Mulan's arrival in the Harem swept like a tsunami. Shao thought he would give it a week until the situation calmed before arranging to meet his father, but the summon from the Wei patriarch to join him for breakfast that morning beat him to it. Shao just knew what to expect, because since his years of rebellion against the throne became apparent, his father never invited him to any formal meeting, let alone an invitation for something as intimate as breakfast.
"Father, you summon me?" Shao pursed his lips unpleasantly as he strode across the room.
"It's nothing terrible," Wei Zhang replied caustically. "I don't know why you always automatically assume the worst when I want to speak with you."
"Because so often it is. Remember the last time we met? Oh yes, you told me I have to marry my cousin who earnestly detested me. Oh, wait, you didn't just tell me. You order me."
Wei Zhang gave a hollow laugh before sighing heavily. "I just want the best for you, Shao," and gestured towards the long table. "Care for breakfast with me?"
They strode into the adjacent room and took the seat across from each other while a few servants quickly scrambled to present a large pot of tea and a lavish spread of dim sum.
"Shao Wei," his father began, as soon as he sat his bowl down across from her, "Did you bring someone here a few nights ago?"
His voice holds only the barest trace of disapproval, but immediately, Shao Wei bristled at his implication, his censure. "Yes, but it's nothing for you to worry about. She isn't like any of the gold digger bimbos I used to fancy."
His father's eyebrows lift in carefully modulated disbelief. "Chen informed me this morning. He mentioned that he had fetched Fa Zhou's daughter from her house. Your order."
"Her name is Fa Mulan."
His father didn't seem to care less about those minute details, instead, continuing his thought. "But don't you think it's a little odd. She is a daughter of a famous strategist, and one of our Captain's ex-wife…who was declared missing barely months ago..." he paused, rearranging his own thoughts. "Are you sure it isn't bad for your public image to bring her here this early?"
"As if I have a good public image right now?" Shao returned, then stabbed a mouthful of food uncaringly.
"But isn't this too soon…?"
"You agreed to give Ting Ting's hand in marriage when she was just twelve," he interrupted coldly.
"Shao Wei…."
"We're done talking about this," he gritted out.
"Son, I'm trying to understand what's going on here, but I can't make sense of it." He held up a hand, resisting Shao's protests. His father shook his head, looking honestly confused. "Who is she really to you, Shao Wei, that you would jeopardise your future? The kingdom that your uncle and I have built?"
And Shao found that he couldn't answer that question, at least not easily. Because Mulan was so many different things to him, he had no way to verbalise them all. He wouldn't even know where to begin. He was first and foremost, his friend. She was, of course, but it's such a small part of what she was that the word feels inadequate.
He was still scrambling for a response, when he heard hesitant, shuffling footsteps approaching from the long hallway. Mulan's timing was, as ever, impeccable. He turned to the door, and could help the small smile on his face when he saw her.
Wei Zhang had been entirely curious about this woman Shao had been raving about, so wanting to meet her to make sure she wasn't a spy, gold-digging bimbo or any kind was a sensible request to ask.
First impression? She was petite with a cute pixie cut face to match, her short raven hair waving over just atop her shoulders. She wore a plain ruqun and had a small, demure (and clearly nervous) smile.
She was definitely nice to look at, but Wei Zhang wouldn't have called her head-turning. In the past, his son always surrounded himself with tall, leggy model types. Fa Mulan had a prim, sweet demeanour that wouldn't make her stand in the crowd. And her choice of apparel and very thinly applied make-up had spelt out that she was not the flashy, vain type. Since when did Shao fancy this kind of girl?
"Fa Mulan?"
"That's me, Your Honor," she greeted, her voice calm as she bowed deeply.
"Daughter of Fa Zhou?"
"Yes."
This time, he saw her smile reach her eyes and found the sight slightly beguiling. He'd expected her to be more shy and unsure of herself, considering the description Shao had given him.
"So, I heard you met Shao in the army, masquerading as a man."
"Yes, Your Honour. I did it for my father's sake," she said neutrally.
"I heard you even saved the battalion twice," he glanced briefly at Shao Wei, who was staring at him like a lion ready to pounce on his lunch. "You've even gotten yourself a state burial when we thought Ping were dead."
She flinched, but her voice remained composed. "I know deception in the encampment is punishable by death, and I am ready to accept the consequences." When Shao was about to interrupt, Wei Zhang raised his hand.
"That's beside my point," he said, "Although you might want to keep your secret life in the encampment to yourself. None of the Generals or anyone should know." Because he could imagine the scandal and judgment if the public knew Shao's future consort had lied and deceived everyone. "If someone asked, just say you visited the encampment occasionally and nothing else." And before she commented any further. "And if you're wondering whether Chi-Fu would announce your duplicity to the world, I've taken care of him."
Her eyes widened with a worried expression. Wei Zhang felt the need to straighten the facts. "I promote him."
"Oh! Thank... thank you, Your Majesty," she bowed again.
"You've saved my son once, so we are even," he said, regarding Shao, who looked a bit more relaxed.
"Fa Mulan, you are one very promising young lady. You are smart... a fast learner," he continued. "Which brings me to slight befuddlement and surprise. How could a clever girl like you choose Shao Wei—except what you are after is status and money—I don't think your marriage to him would bring any happiness to you."
Her countenance briefly twisted. "In all respectfulness, Your Majesty. I've heard about Prince Shao Wei's rebellious conquest. But after knowing him, in my humble assessment, Prince Shao Wei is a good man. Yes, he was flawed in one way or another, but aren't we all? And I speak not from the perspective of a woman, a potential bride, but rather as a compatriot in battle… and as a friend," she said. There was something she couldn't handle about people misjudging Shao Wei. "And as a friend, he is unendingly loyal. He put others before himself," she said with conviction.
"Does that explain why you didn't mourn Captain Li's death?" Wei Zhang countered. "Because you are sleeping with my son behind his back?"
"Father!" Shao cut him in, watching emotion spill out of Mulan's eyes at the mention of Shang. "What happened that night was my fault. I offered her too much wine. That night was an accident—an accident that I am willing to answer to!"
Wei Zhang turned his attention to his son. Since when did he care so much about a woman that he'd willingly taken all the weight of the world for her?
"I'm afraid I'm….rather…tired today," Mulan forced herself to sound neutral. "Lovely to meet you, and thank you for the invitation, Your Highness," she said, saluting him and everyone else before storming out of the room. Shao sighed as Mulan walked out, leaving no opportunity for further questioning. The room was gripped with grim tension. Shao glanced around; everyone in the room was suddenly interested in their toes. But even facing down, he could see they had the same pinched expression on their face, paired with a certain air of fatalism.
Shao threw himself back in his seat, feeling frustrated on multiple fronts. He felt murderous at his father's baseless accusation, especially considering Mulan's fierce defence of his character that everyone else had failed to see.
Shao is a good man. Did she really see him that way, so at odds with what he knows to be the truth? Because he was trying so hard to be better, he knew that he was a selfish man. He always had been, and it would be convenient to blame it on being raised in a consequence-free bubble, but months of regimental training hadn't seemed to have burned it out of him.
His father sighed. "I'm sorry if that was a bit…."
"Brutal?" Shao said without masking his annoyance.
"Forgive me," Wei Zhang said sincerely, slowly taking a seat next to him. "I will admit, at first I thought she would be just a random woman you met at social parties, never thought you knew a woman with this kind of background."
"Then you've thought wrong!"
"Son," he replied patiently. "There are so many social climbers out there who are after your title and your money. I just want us to be careful."
"Father...," Shao exasperated.
"Are you sure you won't regret your decision?"
Shao sighed. With the amount of work of coronation and other things in his mind, he couldn't have this inane conversation. "No, Father. I won't."
"The girl isn't pretty at all considering your usual standard, Shao."
Shao Wei fought a cringe. He knew what everyone thought of him based on his old reputation but to hear his own father speak it out loud was especially humbling. "My days of seeking coquettish ladies are over. Haven't Baoxi told you? I am closing the invitation for future additions to the Harem. People still may offer, but I will duly reject them all."
"You will regret deciding this early. The night is still young for you, Shao Wei. You have to embrace your role not just as a Crown Prince but also a father of many future heirs."
Shao felt heat suffuse his cheeks, from embarrassment or anger he wasn't sure which. "Just because your marriage has always been a political contract or a business arrangement, don't expect me to follow that same path," Shao said, looking his father square in the eyes. "For once, I want to marry… for love."
"No ruler married for love, Son."
"Then, let me be the first," he replied stubbornly. "I will obey your and Uncle Xiongnu's order to marry Zetian, and I promise you, I won't take back my word. You've told me to treat Zetian respectfully. I shall, no matter how she'll treat me with contempt—I shall honour my vow. Therefore….isn't it fair if I get to marry at least one woman of my own choosing? You told me to stay away from pretty masked gold-diggers. I did. This girl is not a leech, I assure you, Father! She had integrity and self-value. Even better, she's certain to have no agenda of her own," he insisted "...unlike your ideas of Zetian and I."
Wei Zhang narrowed his eyes, clearly disliking what he heard. But after a silent contemplation, he decided this was a battle for another day. "Fine, but she must abide by our house rule, and most importantly…. Bearing you a male heir. If you fail - I must press on you to take a few concubines, with or without her or even your approval."
Shao looked at his father, nodding with confidence. "I reassure you, Father. That measure won't be necessary. My wives and I will give the male heir you require."
With the thought of Shao Wei's words still echoing in his head, Wei Zhang went on to visit Mulan.
"Fa Mulan," he called outside the guest quarter. The girl came rushing to kneel at his feet. She was wearing a boring grey robe. Thinly applied make-up and her short hair was left undone. If he hadn't seen her before, he would likely have mistaken her for the scullery maid!
"Your Honour."
"I came here to make things right," he began, focusing back on his train of thought. "You know my son has been besotted by you. In all my years knowing him, he had never gone hands and legs for a woman, let alone a widow. But I get a feeling that this sentiment is somehow felt single-sidedly on his part. So, tell me truthfully, are you really ready to marry him?"
"Yes. Yes, I do."
"I know your father has approved this arrangement beforehand. But, have you at least spoken to your late husband's family?"
When she didn't immediately answer Wei Zhang continued. "Am I right in thinking that this child you carried is the only reason you agreed to marry Shao Wei this soon?"
"I am just trying to do what is right for my family and my child."
"The Li family has close ties to us. The last thing I want is to upset Li's widow. She lost her husband and her son on duty. And for you to marry Shao Wei…it serves as admittance to the scandalous affair between the two of you. Not only will this hurt Madam Li Yue's feelings but also hurt her family's honour."
She took a moment to breathe past the tightness in her throat.
"Your Highness, I love my husband. I am aware that his life is at stake on a daily basis for the betterment of the country. I can choose to stand here now and cry over his dead body or celebrate his heroism and move on. I know what I did was wrong, however unintentionally it was, and in due time I would talk about this with Madam Li Yue."
Wei Zhang thought it was an honest admittance, so he agreed. "Fine. I promise Shao Wei…I will bless the marriage on the condition that you must abide by palace rule, and all actions had to gain personal permission from Empress Zetian. However, I've settled that as the Prince of Wei's concubine, I've given you a residence on the east side of the palace, closest to the maid quarter." She didn't look the slightest offended by his exclusion. "You will have access to whatever you need here, of course," Wei Zhang interjected. "There will be a weekly allowance, a lady in waiting, wardrobe, all of that."
Mulan looked startled. "Oh! I didn't— I don't mean, I hadn't…" She gestured uselessly in her lap, and again, the tension rolled off her.
Wei Zhang found her reaction very strange. Weren't most young women relieved by financial stability and things like that? All the girls that ever reached the palace door had been very interested in whatever his fortune and influence could bring them. If any of them had been offered a flashy wardrobe, countless jewellery and the money that he had just mentioned, they would have been jumping up and down. Mulan, however, looked distinctly uncomfortable. Perhaps, for once, her son was right.
"Also, there will be dignitaries invited to the banquet in celebration of the Emperor's wedding. You have to be mentally rehearsed and dress the part."
She looked shocked. "We're not going to just do a civil ceremony at the courthouse or something simpler?"
"Oh, of course not! You'll learn soon enough, that being a royalty comes with certain expectations. And people will expect the Prince of Wei to be married in a fairly lavish ceremony with a well-attended party afterwards. It's the custom, among the families. We'll tone it down from what we normally would do, given the time constraints and such, but there will be a formal ceremony, here on the estate. Any more questions?"
But before she said anything, Shao Wei made his presence known.
"Oh, here you are, I've been looking for you," he said to Mulan and turned to his father with a deep sardonic frown. "I hope you are not here to blackmail my future bride?"
Wei Zhang tried not to smirk. "No, of course not. I'm here to introduce your future bride to her sister-wife."
Sister-wife?
Mulan opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the front door flying open. A beautiful woman with a slender waist, dark cascading hair and blood-red lips emerged from view.
"Ah, Zetian. I'm glad you are here."
So, this was a setup.
"Uncle Zhang," she curtsied.
"Now, Miss Fa, this is Her Highness Princess Zetian, my niece and our future Empress." And with a smug smile plastered on his face, the Wei patriarch left. "I leave you to it."
Having a man standing between his two future wives was like the climactic paragraph in a novel, so Mulan thought.
Zetian took a moment to scrutinise. Which wasn't surprising for Shao; Mulan wasn't at all the type he generally pursued, but there was no denying the appeal of her plush, pursed lips (which occasionally turned him on when she pouted or scoffed at his comment), her toned figure and her sparkling dark eyes.
Not forgetting her place, Mulan took the liberty to give her a curtsy, "It's a great honour, Your Highness."
Zetian acknowledged with a slight nod. "You are not like those women in his past, but I can see why," she said levelly. "But, I must warn you, Miss Fa. Shao has quite a voracious appetite when it comes to women. And there were plenty of women around who were willing to overlook all his indiscretions."
Shao decided to take a light approach and responded to his cousin's rebuke with a laugh. "Surprisingly enough, even I have too much on my mind to sleep around indiscriminately."
"As an emperor should," Zetian replied in a matter-of-factly tone. "I wonder what the rest of your exes are going to respond to your wedding invitation."
"That makes me nervous," Shao Wei said with a heavy hint of sarcasm. He might have changed a lot about himself in the last couple months, but he was aware a lot of people always doubted he would ever be the marrying kind. Well, that was before he met Mulan.
"I believe congratulations are in order," Zetian's dry tone. "And I hope you don't regret your choice," she said to no one in particular.
"Don't worry, I won't," came Mulan's firm reply. Her answer surprised him, and by looking at the size of Zetian's eye, it must have done the same thing to her.
"I believe I have an appointment to keep with Princess Wei Ting," Mulan said politely. "Good afternoon." And before any of them could react, she was gone.
Zetian picked up her hand fan daintily, and signalling the servant to open the door. "Now, all the formality is done, I think I better…"
"By the way, Zetian," Shao grabbed her hand, halting her. "I've got some bad news."
She stared at him, narrowing her eyes. "Oh no, don't tell me. That bimbo you took home from the bar last weekend has developed a sudden clinginess? Or… you've overshot your weekly spending? No wait! You ran your horse into a river, broke the beast's leg and now you've got to fabricate an excuse to get another one!"
"No," he smiled. If it wasn't because he knew she was genuinely annoyed, it would've been cute. "I've promised Father that next month I will ordain you as my empress. And that means…our wedding in two weeks time."
Her annoyed look was swiftly swept by rage. She raised her palm to slap him, but he caught it.
"I promise I'll kill you," she hissed, and she stormed out of the room.
The war might just end, Shao thought, but this marriage might well be the only war in which he got to sleep with the enemy.
Wedding details weren't something Mulan was terribly interested in, especially when the wedding in question was little more than a sham.
Wei Ting was constantly on the go, frantically flipping through her design scroll that recorded her ideas, asking around for suggestions and choices to make and Mulan began to think that the younger Wei clan might be the silver lining to her gloomy cloud of a future. The girl was bubbly, funny and had a knack for taking Mulan's mind off the less pleasant aspects of her whole deal with the Wei family.
Mulan tried her best to keep up as Wei Ting bombarded her with wedding dress designs. If she'd been feeling less dazed and overwhelmed, she would have been impressed by the woman's affinity and eyes for elegant dresses.
"This is nice," she heard Wei Ting chirping happily, her finger jumping over the scroll and pointing towards a particular design. Dresses far fancier than anything Mulan would have ever expected to wear and she wasn't sure how to tell Wei Ting that none of what she'd shown her so far was quite her taste. Then she wondered if her taste even mattered.
"You don't like this?" her voice snapped Mulan from her daze. Seemed like Wei Ting had acknowledged her lack of response meant she was remotely interested in whatever she was showing now.
Before Mulan mouthed an apology, Wei Ting wrapped her hand comfortingly in hers. "Mulan, I love my brother dearly. He is the only family I can trust. Now, he had chosen you, I wanted you to be as happy as you can be with him. Life as royalty isn't easy, let me tell you, but friendship and trust will go a long way. So, just tell me if you don't like it or you don't agree. I much rather hear it plain and clean than a spoken gossip behind my back."
"Thank…thank you," Mulan managed to mouth. Reality fell on her like bricks. A year after her failing career as a housewife, she was going to marry royalty. The world truly had gone mad.
Ting Ting smiled, taking a good look at her. "I would never guess the soldier next to Ling was you. I'd said your impersonation was very convincing."
Mulan smiled, "And I would never guess the niece of the vegetable seller was a princess in disguise."
"We are even then," she said, waving her perfectly manicured hand before absently starting to scan through piles of fabric samples. "So how did all these start? You and my brother."
"We…." she hesitated, thinking how far she should let on the lies.
"Don't worry, I know," Ting Ting said with a meaningful smirk. "Shao told me."
Mulan let out a relieved sigh. "We were in the same battalion. I happened to see him bickering with Yao, one of the recruits over sleeping arrangements. When I knew he was a prince, I was furious to see a royalty who bullied his comrade just because he felt he was superior. I confronted him, scolded him….But.." Mulan sighed, pressing her lips together and paying Ting Ting with a little smile. "It turned out that I was wrong. I mean… I am glad I was wrong. Once I knew the real him, Shao was a kind soul…. and… "
"And?" Wei Ting pressed on when Mulan paused a little too long.
"A dependable friend."
Ting Ting bit a smile. "Soooo...did he ever ask you out? Send flowers?"
"No… of course not. We're just friends. And I was married back then." Mulan shifted in her seat. "Once he asked me to visit his mansion in Japan…he said he was trying to make my husband jealous."
"Goodness, that's enthusiastically creative," Ting Ting rolled her eyes. "But do you think you can make this work? I know it's a sham, but I'd hope you two will find some sort of happiness somewhere. I'm sorry, that's an absurd statement to someone who just lost her husband," she apologised swiftly. "I admit that I had many ill thoughts about you when my brother expressed his intention to take you as his wife. I mean… he has this pattern of choosing boobs over brains. So I thought…"
"That I have big boobs?"
"No," Ting Ting laughed. "I mean….your asset is not plenty, no offence…. but good enough. And after knowing you now…" She paused to take a deep breath. "I am terribly sorry for ever being so judgemental."
"Don't mention it," Mulan told her. "Anyone in their right mind will be questioning my true intentions." And she took a moment before saying, "I get it. You just want to protect your brother. And Shao could do with more people like that in his life."
Ting Ting smiled, nodding. "I think my late mother would have liked you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
"Now my father on the other hand. He can be a tough nut to crack. But then again," Ting Ting said in a deceptively neutral tone, "it's very hard not to be judgemental about your children's life choices when they are not exactly your priority."
Mulan heard the edge in Ting Ting's tone and saw the way her fingers clenched into fists despite the casual way she held herself. What is it with the Wei's siblings? Both of them are apparently equally accustomed to emotional manipulation and hiding their feelings.
She reached out and took the girl's hand on her own. And squeezed it.
There were no words. But sometimes, there was no need for words.
"I know we don't know much about each other yet," Mulan said, breaking the silence, "but if you need to talk..."
Ting Ting sniffed and then visibly got a hold of herself and smiled.
"Who knew?" she said, "My dumb big brother might have done something smart for once."
"Certainly brain before beauty this time," Mulan replied jokingly.
"Ok, back to the wedding gown design. Would you prefer this one that perhaps makes you regal but looks like ancient artefacts or this one with a high slit with sleep with me vibe?"
The Golden Palace, while physically large, was at heart a small place, and the word get around quickly when something afoot—such as Prince of Wei sudden engagement to a peasant girl with no aesthetic appeal.
The palace was always swarming with people—servants, eunuchs, and guards. But none of them—despite knowing she was a used-up woman, a woman with a passable look and less than voluptuous figure—not one, even looked at her in any way except with respect. And that surprised her because that was exactly what Shao had said they would do.
Well, almost no one.
A few councillors and senior advisors obviously had been agonising behind their backs about the strange coincidence—of Prince of Wei for taking Fa Zhou's youngest son under his wing in the encampment and then taking his widowed daughter for a wife.
Mulan wasn't surprised when they couldn't let those connections just sit in their head. There was far too much coincidence that both the person Shao Wei favoured happened to be children of Fa Zhou.
She took it that the word hadn't spread about her identity as Ping and her involvement in the war. She was sure it would happen at some point as people's curiosity grew about her abrupt marital engagement… and why the Prince of Wei gave his future concubine leniency and freedom to join the Imperial Army as a strategist.
"My brother won't let it happen, don't you worry. Your head will stay intact as long as he lives," Ting Ting said when Mulan voiced her concern. For a woman who had grown up under the shadow of many influential, powerful men, the sisterly company was a breath of fresh air she welcomed. "What you need to worry about is what to wear for dinner this weekend!"
"I… I do?"
"You need new clothes," she declared. "Oh goodness, so am I!"
She ran into her closet and began excavating her wardrobe, appraising through her endless garments, parading them around the room before dumping them on the ground.
"Why did they give this invitation so late!" she whined, voice muffled behind the piles. "Aha!" The Princess crawled (literally) from inside her closet (which was more like Mulan's house), tossing a few gowns and shoes, in a manner that suggested she didn't particularly care where they landed.
"Well… I thought four days was a good enough warning, right?" Mulan replied. "It is just for dinner. I was thinking if I can borrow…—"
And Ting Ting head whipped abruptly, she was finally giving her undivided attention. "No!" Ting Ting emphasised, wagging her finger. "Those councilmen and dignitaries should never see you in my clothing."
"And why not?" Mulan asked, in a more confused tone than accusing.
"Listen," Ting Ting said. "You are soon going to be royalty. A princess. One of us. You have to behave, act… and think like one. So, imagine, if my father knew you are wearing loaned qipao…—"
"But I am not a princess," she interjected.
Ting Ting didn't seem to care. "Borrowed qipao would send a wrong signal to those VIPs! Hell, they must've thought the Emperor is broke or something!"
"But you have plenty," Mulan argued, eyes looking at the dense mountain of garments. She was sure there was plenty more inside that closet. "Surely, they won't remember…-"
"We can't take the risk," Ting Ting asserted. "But I can't accompany you on another shopping trip - no matter how deep my love for retail therapy is. This weekend is Tian's birthday. I am inviting her parents to spend a few days here."
Mulan pursed her lips."Ok, so what is your proposal?"
Ting Ting fell silent for a moment, then suddenly snapped her finger. "Baoxi," she declared, jabbing an enthusiastic finger at her. "Baoxi is your answer. An excellent fashion critique." Mulan didn't like the sound of the second part of that sentence. "Baoxi could take you to Chang'an silk district for shopping.."
"Isn't the capital city supposed to be rather expensive?" Mulan hedged.
Ting Ting waved her hand. "Baoxi got access to my allowances," she assured her. "Sky's the limit. Indulge yourself. Go nuts." Despite her eccentricity and her wilful and complete ignorance of common logic, just like her brother, Ting Ting was unfailingly kind.
Mulan sighed, no point in arguing with an irrational shopping addict. "Has anyone told you how much like your brother you are?"
Ting Ting rolled her eyes elaborately. "We're having a nice time here. Don't ruin it."
"Excuse me? Princess Wei Ting and Consort Highness?" There was a maidservant wearing a gold formal robe and tall headpiece that nearly touched the door frame.
"Ah, speaking of the devil, Baoxi! Come, come!" Ting Ting called out from where they sat. "You come at the right time!" she said, leaping on her feet to greet this mysterious fashion guru.
"Wait," Mulan jumped, following her. "Baoxi… is a man?"
Mulan had imagined Baoxi to be a half-century old lady with crotchety character, nagging affinity and eyes that could see a minuscule speck of loose threads from miles away. She was very wrong, because Baoxi turned up to be her age, perhaps just a few years older….and…. Baoxi was a man. He was good-looking: tall, fair-skinned, with silky black hair and thick eyebrows. But the word handsome didn't feel suitable for his physical appearance.
"My pleasure to meet you," Mulan said politely. "Princess Wei Ting had told me about you."
"My honour to meet you Consort Highness. Young prince Shao Wei had informed me regarding the new royal attire you require to match your status," he said.
"Great minds think alike," Ting Ting inserted.
"Indeed My Princess," Baoxi continued. "I'm sure everyone would like to see Consort Fa in something other than that…" he paused, tilting his head as he stared at her outfit. "Drab robe."
Mulan looked at her robe. Okay, it may look a little outmoded, spartan and lacking the 'wow' factor, but 'drab'? "Drab you said?"
"Pardon my directness, Consort HIghness. Uniquely mundane perhaps would be a better word. But in your servant's humblest opinion, Your Consort Highness could wear almost anything and look like a vision," he said, sweetening the pot. He waved his hand and a few shop assistants dutifully rolled out the fabrics: silk, expensive organza and linen with gold thread, adorned with intricate embroidery.
"May I tempt you with something that isn't plain and grey?" he said, presenting one particular silk that glinted in alluring rainbow colour. Mulan let Baoxi wrap the fabric around her, stepped aside and squinted his eyes to picture the style in his mind.
It turned out that Baoxi had a good eye for silk, and he was able to make tasteful suggestions that were both practical and becoming. Mulan gravitated towards fabrics with minimal patterns and cuts that were deemed simple by the royal standard. But under Baoxi's conscientious supervision, she soon acquired a few cheongsam, matching sandals, scarfs and a set of colour coordinated nail polish.
The key, as Baoxi explained, was to build a palette around a single basic colour, so that all the pieces looked coherent together. "With your skin tone and your face complexion," he suggested.
While Mulan had refused to pick any embroidered slippers or blood-red nail polish (she deemed them looking too ostentatious for her liking), she did let Baoxi talk her into a couple of selections that were decidedly more daring than anything she'd ever worn.
One of them was a flouncy scarlet number that Baoxi characterised as a "show-stopper".
"Are you sure this is acceptable?" Mulan retorted, examining her reflection critically in the dressing room mirror. The cheongsam was red with a fitted bodice and gauzy flare from her upper chest down, perfectly suited to her generous figure and hiding the bump on her tummy that began to show. However, the neckline was quite low to the point where nearly her half of her chest binding was exposed.
"Perfect!" Baoxi said reassuringly. "We can cut another length of fabric to cover your shoulder and cleavage." He winked one of his eyes and whispered. "...because that was reserved for the VIP."
Mulan offhandedly stretched her hand as Baoxi babbled around her and took her measurement, bustling about, grabbing options for jewelled headpieces to pin into updos and earrings and whatnot to complete the look.
"You're going to be a primadonna," she heard him saying, but Mulan was still completely mystified to even project any word of protest.
After the fitting, Baoxi conducted her to the most coveted royal spa and treated her to the much needed restorative treatment. But that's not the end of it. He also insisted she signed up for a two weeks regimented body detox plan in line with the wedding preparation. "You have to fit perfectly to your wedding dress, the eyes of jealous women are very unforgiving, even at the slightest suggestion of body fat."
Mulan had a sense that she was being handled, but it was done with so much respect that she couldn't bring herself to refuse. With her miscellany of bags of fragrance, clothing, headpieces and boxes of slippers tucked neatly into her wardrobe, she suddenly felt considerably better equipped to face the new world.
The following day, Mulan heard from Wei Ting that Ling had planned a brief visit and she decided it would be a perfect occasion to give her new wardrobe a trial run.
"Consort Fa, lovely to see you!" Baoxi gushed with his usual eccentric feminine gusto that afternoon when she arrived at Ting Ting's quarter. "You've worn the dress we'd picked I see."
"Oh, no wonder!" praised Ting Ting asked Mulan to give a spin up so she could take a better look. "This is so tasteful. Baoxi, excellent, just… excellent," she gushed. "Wait until my brother sees you." And in a blink of an eye, she sauntered back with Shao in her arms.
"You look…..beautiful," Shao said, mystified. But Mulan could well see it wasn't just an admiration in his eyes. He was amazed, gobsmacked even.
"Wait until you see the dragon ruqun we've chosen," Baoxi bragged. "My Prince Highness will render...speechless."
"Who will be speechless?"
"Ling!" Ting Ting leapt to her feet one more time to greet her man. She briefly pecked him on his cheek.
Ling looked worse for wear. He had shed a few good kilos of weight. With dark circles forming under his eyes, and his ever paler skin, he looked like some zombie out of low budget theatre play.
"Mulan… I mean, Con…consort Fa," Ling saluted her awkwardly, before turning his attention back to the maiden in his arm.
"Honourable Ling," Mulan replied formally, although her lips begged her to just call him intimately by his nickname, or jumped and hugged him. But there was a better time and place for that.
"You are not supposed to be here yet. We are having a girly time," Ting Ting whispered, latching onto Ling's arm as she pointed towards a group of young women behind her.
"But he isn't a girl," Ling pointed out towards Baoxi.
Baoxi only smiled and twirled with a regal flourish, "Oh! Where is my manner? I'm Baoxi, at your service Mister—?"
"Ehem…. Captain Ling, fiance of Princess Wei Ting."
"Right you are, Captain Ling," he said, sliding across the marble floor with impossible gracefulness, leaving a trail of gardenia and scented powder in his wake. "I am not a girl. I am a woman."
Ling's jaw dropped while Mulan and the rest of the girls burst into a hysterical giggle.
"You go ahead and talk to Ling, I figure you must miss each other," Ting Ting told Mulan. "Baoxi, come here! We need your opinion on this lace undergarment!" Ting Ting shouted from across the room.
"I'll be right there," he said, waving one of his hands exaggeratingly in a manner Mulan could only see her most girly girl do.
"He intrigues me..." Mulan whispered when Shao approached her to appreciate Baoxi's regal work. Next to him, Ling seemed to be oddly quiet.
"Me too," he said absently, clearly having his attention elsewhere. "But Baoxi was right. You looked amazing," he said with appreciative eyes, but blushed when Mulan caught him staring. It was sweet and adorable, to think that Shao Wei, of all men, could react that way considering he must have a practised hand at dealing with attractive women in his life.
"Thank you," Mulan smiled, noticing how faint blush coloured his cheeks as he shied away. "I still wonder how he did it," she said, mercifully changing the subject. That moment she caught a strange look Ling was giving Shao, but she couldn't quite place what.
"Do what?" Shao asked, unrolling Baoxi's sketch parchment on the table and avoiding explicitly ogling at his future consort.
"Him… with those women," Mulan said, watching Baoxi continue regaling Ting Ting and a group of women with fabrics, candies and rice wine.
"Oh," Shao tore his eyes from the parchment and looked up in the direction of feminine giggles."Baoxi is a master of talking to women. They all love talking and laughing with him," he explained. "This is not just his profession. It's his life."
Ling was also observed with amazement at Baoxi supernatural facility with women. "I wonder where he learned such mastery."
"Don't even think!" Shao jabbed Ling's side with his finger. "You already have my sister."
"I didn't say I want to seduce other women," Ling said in defence. "I just want to improve my existing skill."
"You already have a good skill in making women laugh," Mulan said as a means of encouragement.
"I know what you mean," Ling was unexpectedly curt. "Put me in a room full of women, all the laughing you'd hear would be at my expense."
"Ling, that's is not what…"
"Put you in a room full of men, all the laughing you'd hear would be still at your expense," Shao pointed out, unhelpfully.
Ling frowned. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Your Highness."
"You're most welcome, Honourable Ling."
"Anything I can help?" Baoxi turned Ling and Shao. He must overhear their conversation. "I know you can't join us with baijiu just yet," he said politely, sauntering in front of Mulan with a cup of chamomile tea. "But I don't want Consort Highness to feel left out." Mulan thought it was terribly thoughtful of him.
"No. Nothing. Help him," Shao pointed at Ling who immediately stiffened.
"What, why me?" Ling snapped back, scandalised.
"Isn't that clear?"
"I already have a woman!"
Shao scoffed. "Well….I have a harem. And I have no plan for further expansion."
The sound of clicking tongue halted their bickering. Baoxi walked gracefully and took a seat between them. Wedged between them to be exact. "You don't need to have a whole harem to be good at pleasing women, Honourable Ling," he placed his arm around Ling, who cringed and shifted away a little.
"So….you wanted to know my secret mojo for charming women?" Baoxi asked him again with a seductive voice that made Ling's neck-hair stand. Well, if his secret is because Baoxi was missing a certain goopy masculine part, then…
"A woman actually. Singular."
"Oh, I thought you were previously quite close to…" Baoxi trailed off realising it may be inappropriate to address such a thing in front of the Prince of Wei, but the way his eyes rested on Mulan had spoken his thoughts.
"Oh no no, Mula…—Consort Highness is my buddy!" Ling quipped, without looking at her.
"Buddy?" Baoxi's eyes grew wide. "A woman that calibre is no man's buddy!"
"I told you, he needs help," Shao laughed as he sipped his baijiu.
"Right…." Baoxi looked at Ling with false sympathy. "You need to regard a lady as a person… not as a buddy… or an end goal," Baoxi said sagely, reaching Ling by his shoulder causing him to stiffen further. "If you talk to a lady with an agenda in your mind….then she becomes your goal—a trophy, if you may. And that's what's ruining man's overall success in charming a woman because he had a certain goal and expectation out of the conversation."
Usually, Ling would dish this kind of comment by saying the kind of successful, lasting friendship that they had. But he was unusually withdrawn, as if he was avoiding talking to her altogether.
"No expectation?" repeated Ling said to no one in particular when Baoxi had left to distribute another round of drinks. "How can a guy spend that much time and money without any dime of expectation? Am I missing something?"
Shao rolled his eyes. "What aren't you not missing?"
Being quite a joker himself, Ling was usually quite immune to moderate insult. But Mulan read that there was something he was hiding.
Mulan elbowed Shao and hissed quietly, "Manners!"
"Being honest is good manners," Shao countered. "On the other hand, elbowing a prince who was holding a drink and spilt it on his hundred yuan clothes without apologising…."
"Baoxi! Pour us more wine!" squealed Ting Ting as she approached. And by the grace of god, she yanked her brother on her other hand, forcefully, giving him no room for objection.
And Mulan saw her chance. "Ling? Shall we talk…?"
But her best friend was already gone.
"There's something wrong with Ling," Mulan announced the next morning at the breakfast table. Both Wei's siblings sat across the table side by side, appearing to be completely oblivious to her remark.
"That's old news," Shao said between his munchings. "There is always something wrong with him."
Ting Ting glared at him, but remained calm. "Better marrying a weirdo than someone who killed our uncle!"
Shao chuckled. "For once I am thankful Father turned down the wedding proposal."
Ting Ting must have registered Mulan's confused gaze and filled her in. "The Great Khan drafted a wedding proposal a few days ago."
Mulan put down her bowl. "You mean he wanted Princess Altan to…?"
"Oh yeah, she definitely wants to. She has been in love with Shao for years," Wei Ting cleared her throat. "What she'd seen in my brother is beyond me."
"Watch it," Shao waved his chopstick at her. "I can say the same about you and that malnourished boyfriend of yours."
Mulan was curious. She thought political marriage was certainly a better alternative than war. Now that Shan-Yu was dead, Altan was the future of the Mongol throne. Although old wounds from the way may leave some scars, marrying her would be the beginning of a new chapter: A new promise of building both kingdoms together. "Did your father say why he turned it down?"
"Nope," Shao replied with nonchalance. It was plain as day that he didn't care one bit.
"Maybe he still holds grudges over her killing Uncle Xiongnu," Ting Ting offered.
Shao shook his head, laughing. "Are you kidding me? Father loathed our uncle. He should thank her, because Altan is helping him get what he wants!"
Ting Ting scoffed, "But even if he said 'yes', you would've said 'no'".
"Of course!"
Considering Altan cultivated real feelings for Shao Wei, Mulan thought it a blessing to have at least one wife that truly loved and cherished him. Not understanding the logic, Mulan turned to Ting Ting, "Isn't he allowed to marry more women?"
Shao shot her with a "not helping" look.
"What? It's a win-win situation." Mulan defended. "I'm just saying what is obvious."
"And I'll say no," Shao replied to no one in particular. "One woman has given me enough headaches, why would I want more?"
It was Mulan's turn to look offended.
"It isn't as simple as getting my brother's approval here," Ting Ting explained. "Our late uncle, Emperor Xiongnu, won't just give his eldest daughter to be just another mark on Shao's bedpost. He wanted her to be Shao's Empress, which means Shao could only marry other women as consorts or concubines… Which might not sit well with Altan or the Great Khan."
"You mean being his consort may not be good enough?" Mulan asked.
"The Khan is hoping to exert influence through his daughter," Ting Ting reasoned.
"Clearly he didn't know his own daughter," Shao quipped sarcastically.
"But this is a peace-making treaty that would benefit both countries. Shao, you should consider this! Perhaps offer her the position of principal consort! Think about the ties between your kingdom if you two produce an heir!"
Shao nearly choked on one large dumpling. "And I'll be stuck with not one, not two, but three hard-headed women? Dear Guan Kim, have mercy."
"Well no, obviously… hold on, are you saying I'm stubborn?"
"Not in so many words."
Mulan looked at Shao and saw one of his patented neutral expressions. He raises both eyebrows at her faux-innocently before resuming picking various dishes and piling them into his bowl. "But that's why I think you'll survive the brutality of living in the Harem. Women can be vicious animals at times."
"It's true," Ting Ting told Mulan. "Consort Dowager Ruyi, the one that kept talking about your big innocent eyes during ladies' afternoon tea, remember? Now, she strongly hinted that Shao only married you because he bangs you hard. And that you've cast a spell on him. She'd been saying that to everyone in the Harem."
Mulan inhaled sharply, but chuckled as the thought sank to the bottom of her mind. So she really thought Shao was the type to get taken for a ride?
Ting Ting sipped her tea daintily as she glanced toward her brother from behind her cup. "Well, my brother has done stupider things for a pretty face. You should feel honoured."
Mulan shot a look and Ting Ting grinned.
"Come on, Mulan, it's laughable. Everyone heard the circulating rumour about how good-looking your late husband was. He would've been able to pick anyone with wombs. And yet…"
"Shang was born on the fourth day of the fourth month. That made him terribly unlucky," Mulan opposed.
"And three months after he is gone, you set to wed the most coveted bachelor in the entire Kingdom!" Ting Ting quipped back.
Mulan shrugged, "Your brother has made terrible life choices."
"You don't even have a drop of royal blood in you," Ting Ting said without missing a beat, even more amazed. "Other women can only wonder how you do that?"
Mulan narrowed her eyes. Both Wei's siblings clearly had teamed up against her.
"Don't change the subject," Mulan protested. "We are talking about the possibility of gaining allies!"
"We don't need allies!" He grabbed the napkin, knuckles turning white.
But Mulan was prim for a debate, "Shao, she is your friend. You can't treat her like this considering what she has done for…"
"I am done marrying to please others!" he shouted and everyone fell silent, for this Mulan understood the misery all too well.
Ting Ting turned to his brother, lightening the mood. "Oh, Brother. Why can't you just pick a conventional, submissive damsel who is willing to seduce you?"
Shao visibly relaxed at the rhetoric, snorting softly at his sister's banter.
Minutes later, they finished their breakfast. Shao excused himself for his weekly meeting, leaving Ting Ting with Mulan with the spread of barely touched food in front of them.
"I'm sorry that breakfast was like an intense battlefront," she said, waving her hand signalling the maid to clear up the table.
Mulan pressed her lips, "But Ting Ting, that foreign princess sacrificed everything for your brother. We can't just…."
"It is not up to us," Ting Ting interrupted, "I know you are a woman of opinion, I guess that's what draws my brother to you. But if you want to fit in here, you need to learn to accept the things you can not change."
This, Mulan thought, was not true. Why must one surrender to their fate? Why must one sit and do nothing and watch the world fall around them? Given the situation, if she couldn't live with the things she couldn't change, she would change the things she couldn't live with. And she definitely couldn't live knowing someone's sacrifice had gone in vain.
But first, she needed to find out what's wrong with Ling.
Altan came into her room that evening, she had asked for a favour from a few temple musicians just because she wanted some kind of noise to block out all the thoughts running through her mind.
But it wasn't working. Her thoughts kept going back to the dawn of her wedding. The tent was burning, her warriors, her friends, scorched and bleeding. She dismissed the musician abruptly, thankfully they didn't even dare to ask her to consider and just leave dutifully as though nothing had happened. Laying down on her bed, she screwed her eyes shut as though to force the images of their bleeding body out of her head.
The horrible images slowly disappeared, but they were replaced by snippets of her younger days, when things were simple and plain, when no one questioned the kind of bond between a barbarian princess and a delinquent Chinese prince. Some moments she would never want to forget, and some she wished had never happened.
She looked at the red parchment on her hand, bound with golden ribbon, a symbol of the good tidings. Her hand shivered as she pulled the string. It was like the reopening of a battle wound. This small scroll, handed to her by one of the Prince's personal messengers, did more damage in one instant than thousands of Chinese swords had inflicted on her in a few long years of conflict.
The first few lines, as she expected, were all the rehearsed names of the future royal couple, embroidered in an elegant stroke of master calligraphy.
At the bottom of the page was a personal note: Princess, please allow me to apologise if you deem this invitational gesture inappropriate, but I could not imagine leaving your name out on purpose, considering the grace, kindness and friendship you have with Prince Shao Wei.
Fa Mulan,
The scroll in her hand was small indeed, with only fifteen short lines of text. But the paper was heavy, weighing down on her like nothing else ever had. But no, she didn't resent Fa Mulan for stealing the heart of her beloved. She just hated herself failing to see what was coming.
But she couldn't come. Not only because her heart probably couldn't bear the sight of what lay ahead, but also… what would the Chinese say about her presence there?
Even though she had a name, Altansarnai, which means as beautiful as a golden rose. But to the Chinese, she would always be a barbarian princess who deserved no part in their history.
Just like Timur's sacrifice and his courage to love a woman whose heart had been stolen by another, her part in surrendering the bone of her kingdom for peace would remain a secret forever. Thinking back, how did she even get here? And where would she go now?
This story, she thought, no matter how tragic, deserved a happy ending.
On the dawn of her wedding. Wei Ting whisked her into another part of the Harem she had never stepped her foot into. After that, it was a whirlwind of bathing, waxing, brushing and being lacquered with so many layers of makeup that Mulan just knew it was going to take no less than half an hour to scrub all of it off later on tonight. Her hair was piled in intricate loops that looked like engineering contraptions than it was… well, hair.
She stared at her own reflection. Her dress was deep red, rather plain considering the occasion, only decorated with minimal laces and a large dragon embroidery on the back. But both Baoxi and Wei Ting were great individuals of taste. The ruqun they helped her pick clung perfectly to every curve of her body. To compliment her dress, Baoxi had a matching formal robe. It was adorned with gold embroidery around the hem, framing her shoulder neatly. Contrary to the tradition, Mulan decided to wear a shorter length gown, so anyone could see the gold slipper that belonged to her late mother.
"Mulan?" said the familiar voice at the door.
"Baba! Grandma Fa!" Mulan jumped to her feet to hug them."You… you came." Unlike a normal wedding, a marriage between a man and his concubine was not commonly attended by the bride's relatives or required their participation. She was seen as someone lower than a wife. In fact, she was only a vessel of procreation.
"I figured you will be nervous," Fa Zhou told her.
"At least you've done this once before," Grandma Fa said jokingly. "Don't eat those garlic dumplings or he will smell your breath when he kisses you."
"But…I thought you couldn't make it?" she asked, because her Grandma had sprained her ankle a week before.
"You think a little limp can stop me from seeing my granddaughter on her big day?" Grandma Fa snorted as she tried to hide her wobble. To see how swollen her ankle was, it was a miracle that she was still standing—a miracle of an old woman's obstinacy.
"I thought you don't like Prince Shao Wei?" Mulan asked her. "You called him a juvenile delinquent!"
"Impudent brat, irresponsible urchin, crazy aristocrats…" her father numbered with his finger.
"How can I dislike a person who sent nearly a cart full of silk, food and sweets?" Grandma Fa replied casually. "He even knew my favourites!"
Mulan tilted her head, "I didn't know your approval was as easy as a truckload of bean buns and dried peach."
"Shao skipped his weekly meeting, crawled into the palace sewer, and escaped without any guards because he wanted to deliver them in person," explained her father. As a concubine, Mulan's family wasn't entitled to any dowry, but Shao had maintained that he must bear gifts to the Fa. "He managed to change his clothes during the journey on the horse's back."
"I am sure a lot of girls are dying to see that," Mulan said, amused. "But still Grandma, for the love of topless man, you still can see him another day. Besides, my wedding is not as important as Shao and Zetian…"
"I am not here to see him," Grandma Fa pretended to be aggravated as she busied herself to get comfortable on the sofa. "Why are there so many cushions? There is no space to sit!" She threw most of them to the floor and laid herself horizontally across the settee, legs up like no one was watching. Her father clicked his tongue disapprovingly and tried to control the chaos by placing the cushion forcefully around the old woman and saying, "Mother, one of these cushions perhaps cost more than my monthly salary."
Yes, Mulan really loved her family. They were such wonderful disasters.
"She insisted on coming," her father whispered, pulling something out of his bag and placing it on the table. Mulan's breath caught on her throat. It was her mother's jade comb—the same one she used to comb her hair when she married Shang.
"I know this is a bit late…but we still performed the rite tonight before… we give you up," her Grandma said with a smile that did badly to cover the gnawing ache in her heart.
Mulan paid her with a tight smile, "You know that once a 'Fa' always a 'Fa'... right?"
"Yes, of course," her grandma said with odd melancholy that Mulan had rarely seen from her.
And suddenly the question dropped out of the blue. "Do you… love him?"
"You mean…?"
Grandma Fa looked at her, her eyes searching. "Yes."
Mulan took a moment to contemplate. "No…not yet," she said with a small voice. Maybe she would, maybe she won't. But would it matter? She wasn't here to mend her broken heart, she was here saving her family's honour.
"Well, if you do. Make sure you tell him," Grandma Fa said kindly.
It would've been easy to fall in love with a recklessly charming prince with an intuitive understanding of how to treat women to make her feel like a princess. Plus, Shao had a lot of practice how to use his looks and his sexual chemistry to his advantage. But should she surrender her heart to a man capable of taking it the way Shang did? There's optimism, and then there's stupidity. Mulan told herself she was done with both.
"My dear, you never really know what you have until it's gone."
Mulan's heart reacted almost impulsively at every reminder of the love she had lost. "Grandma, I am not…"
"I know you are not ready," her grandma was quick to embrace her. That moment, that hug reminded her that this woman too, has lost her husband, lost her daughter-in-law and came close so many times to losing her son. If there was any better word to describe the pain, she knew exactly how it felt. "Mulan, I just hope….I hope this will be your happy beginning."
"Yes...thank you Grandma," Mulan said, voice trembling.
Grandma Fa cupped her cheek. "And don't forget to be you."
She hugged her again, a little tightly this time and Mulan's arms tightened around her, her heart clenching. Her sweet, steadfast grandmother and the pillar of her home, who had always been ready with encouraging words or the best of hugs for her, had no idea what kind of reality awaited her beloved granddaughter. Mulan couldn't tell her that her marriage was only transactional. That all was just a lie! And suddenly Mulan knew how hard it must have been for Shao to keep this truth from her. He must have felt the way she felt looking at her clueless grandmother, only a hundred times worse.
Ting Ting and Mulan definitely had different tastes—the flowy, red qipao that complimented the colour of her skin was not something he would have ever pictured her in, but in some ways, it reminded him in an instant of that girl he'd met bathing in the pond years ago, who had so thoroughly captured his attention for one night.
Shao's breath stopped in his lungs as he takes her in. He loved her in red, and this dress is stunning—the fabric clings to her torso, the skirt falls nearly to her ankle, swishing softly as she walks towards him in a pair of glittering gold slippers. She's so beautiful it makes his chest ache.
Ting Ting elbowed him. "Don't gape, Brother."
She looked demure and elegant, a long veil clouding her features, but underneath he could see her raven hair pinned away from her face.
"Isn't she perfect?" Ting Ting whispered from his side.
As Mulan marched slowly down the aisle, Shao realised this strange feeling he was experiencing was nervousness. When was the last time he'd been nervous around a woman? Probably his erhu teacher, Mrs. Huo. She'd been damn scary and had a solid track record of breaking someone's fingers.
"Your Honour," Mulan said, her voice smooth and certain.
Shao couldn't help the slight stumble his heart did as she approached him and bowed deeply when she arrived by his side.
The priest gestured toward the altar, signifying the time for them to read their vow before Wei's late ancestor.
"Shao Wei," Mulan murmured from beside him. When he glanced over, she's watching him with soft, careful eyes. Before he could answer, she slipped a hand into his and squeezed. "You're tensing up," she added quietly, leaning into him a bit—her slight weight against him is surprisingly soothing. "You don't have to do this for me."
"Don't worry. I lose nothing from this, trust me." Because he clearly gained what his heart had wished for. He immediately regretted the thought, what kind of selfish, conniving shark was he to lure a woman he proclaimed to love into sleeping with him?
Shaking his head from lust-induced thought, he revised. "I've gained you. But let me promise you this, that I wish you to have all the freedom and happiness in the world."
Sure, life had thrown its punches at her, but she accepted the inequality of living as a female living in the male-dominant world like a champion. And then this woman was becoming the heroic protagonist of her own story. She rose from being an unwanted bride, a failing soldier to a woman who saved her Captain and her country. He thought if he could give her a fraction of home and normality, it would make a fair trade to bound her in marriage.
…And it would water down a few of his selfish wants.
"You're supposed to look happy," she interrupted his thought.
Just like that, the wave of tension rising in him breaks on a bemused exhale. "Don't you mean I'm supposed to be happy?"
Her expression shifted, and for a moment, she looked unfathomably sad. "I wish you were," Mulan answered quietly, the simple honesty of her words leaving him momentarily pole-axed. "That's all I want for you, Shao Wei."
His chest ached, his throat tightened, and he wanted badly to kiss her, to hug her, to thank her for the comfort she offered so selflessly.
Shao felt like he was having an out-of-body experience as he took this small circle of gold and eased it onto her finger, his gaze catching on her bright red nail polish. "I am my beloved's," he said, his voice gruff and nearly inaudible, "and my beloved is mine." There's far more truth in these words than he expected.
Then she looked up and proclaimed with surety, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine."
His grip on her hand tightened reflexively, because hearing those words from her had broken through all of his resistance.
He studied her, as the priest prattled on about love and honour and, best of all, duty. Then his eyes landed on her chest. Yes, his jade pendant was there, but behind it, he spotted the other half of her yang yin-yang necklace still hanging on her neck despite the fact that it didn't really go with the dress.
The metaphorical truth slapped him on the face.
This was duty. This was just a show. This was a warrior promise. Nothing more than that. He needed to remember that and never lose sight of it. He could kiss her, hold her, and make love to her and it would be just a gesture, nothing more, because underneath, she had decided to keep someone else closer to her heart.