Roy woke up alone. It was disorienting at first, considering it was also pitch-black. He blinked, until his eyes adjusted to the moonlight.

He wasn't just alone in the bed, he was alone in the room.

The space next to him was cool, so Ed had been gone a while. Where was he?

There was no pull guiding him to Ed, no golden string he could follow around his wrist. He pushed the covers away and got out of bed, peeking into the hallway. The door to the bathroom was visible from here, but it was ajar and dark, so no one was in there.

A soft yellow light was on downstairs, and curiosity got the better of him. He threw on his sweatpants and exited into the hallway.

He just wanted some water, he told himself. But really, he just wanted to make sure Ed was all right.

Halfway down the stairs, he heard mumbling. He couldn't hear what was being said, so he descended further down, following the voices to the front door. He passed the living room, where Alphonse was sound asleep on the couch.

That made Roy frown; he'd assumed that maybe Ed had been talking to Al.

Instead, Ed was sitting on the porch steps with Winry. They'd left the front door open, and the porch light was what cast the yellow glow into the house.

Roy paused, unsure whether to simply go back to bed and leave them to it. But Winry seemed upset; she was sniffling.

"Come on, Win," Ed said gently. "You know I hate it when you cry."

"I just thought you'd stop after you got your bodies back," she said, her voice watery. Ed had an arm wrapped around her shoulders, and at her words he squeezed apologetically. "But you're addicted to danger, Ed, I swear."

"I'm not," Ed sighed, "Things just happen. I can't just live a fully danger-free life, that's just not realistic."

Winry straightened, looking up at him. "If you moved back home you would! Live a quiet, peaceful life, Ed. You deserve it after everything. You don't have to run yourself ragged all the time."

Ed paused, looking down. His arm had slipped off her shoulder and was now supporting his weight as he leaned back. "I…don't think I want that," he mumbled. "Resembool just…doesn't feel like home anymore. I'd be so bored living here."

Winry looked devastated. "So you'll never come back?"

Ed shifted uncomfortably. "I don't think so. Not permanently anyway."

"Central is home now, to you?"

Ed shrugged, but it was tense. "Yeah, I guess."

Winry sniffed again, her arms wrapping around herself as though she wanted to disappear. "I thought you would've come home. That's what I was waiting for, for so long."

"I'm sorry." Ed sounded so incredibly honest it made Roy's heart clench.

Winry shook her head, wiping at her face. "Al wants to leave too, but…" She trailed off, curling further into herself. "It doesn't bother me as much as you not coming back."

Ed seemed at a loss, genuinely confused, but Roy had an inkling as to why she'd said what she'd said.

He should leave. He should go back upstairs and try to get more sleep. Ed would come when he was ready. This was undoubtedly a private moment he shouldn't have been witnessing. And yet he didn't move.

He watched as Ed placed his palm on her back and rubbed soothing circles. "Was your nightmare about me, is that why?"

Winry laughed, sniffling. She shook head head, looking at Ed. "Ed, you're so stupid sometimes."

"Huh?"

Before Ed even had a chance to react, she'd leaned forward and pecked him on the lips. It was over before Ed could even blink.

Roy watched as he stared at her in absolute shock, and belatedly flew back, away from her. "Winry, what the fuck—"

"I'm sorry," Winry whispered, crying all over again. She shook her head, again and again. "I shouldn't have done that. God, I'm so stupid. You totally didn't want to kiss me but I did it anyway. I'm so sorry, Ed."

Ed's mouth opened, and then closed, and then opened. He stared at her in shock a few moments longer, his back now fully pressed against the railing—as far away from her as he could be without actually running away. "Uh…"

Winry put her head in her hands, her fingers fisting in her hair. "Oh my god, why did I do that?"

Ed gulped, shifting uncomfortably. "It's okay," he reassured meekly. It made Roy smile fondly, despite the situation.

He'd guessed pretty early on that Winry harboured some feelings for Ed. He'd tried to make himself blind to them, to ignore the signs, but it was plainly obvious to him. And now, it was also plainly obvious to him that Ed had had no idea, and that the feelings were very much not reciprocated.

Ed seemed absolutely shellshocked by this, which was probably the only thing that stopped Roy from feeling sick to his stomach. He might lose Ed someday, but it would not be over this. Not right now.

And not to Winry.

"No, Ed, it's not," Winry choked out. "I know you don't love me but I did it anyway and I shouldn't have. Please let's just forget this ever happened."

"I do love you, Win," Ed tried, "Just, not like…that."

Winry was quiet for a second, and then asked, "Do you love him like that?"

"Huh?"

"The General. Do you love him like that?"

Roy's heart jumped in his chest, his muscles tensing. He had not anticipated being brought up in this conversation.

Had Winry noticed something was going on between them, or had she simply also taken notice of Ed's supposed crush?

Ed didn't love him, Roy knew that to be a solid fact, but he found himself holding his breath as he waited for Ed's reply. Expecting…something. He wasn't sure what. He wasn't sure about anything these days.

Ed seemed to malfunction for a second and then spluttered, "I-I'm not answering that!"

"Ed," Winry said calmly. "I'm not blind. I see how you look at each other."

That stole Roy's breath away completely. He really, really, needed to leave.

Ed spluttered some more, denying everything, and Roy found the will to leave, padding up the stairs again like his ass was on fire. The moment he was back in bed, he tried to calm his racing heart.

It was a good few minutes later that Ed walked in, shutting the door more quietly than he'd ever had, and softly got back under the covers next to him.

"Everything okay?" Roy mumbled. He'd been pretending to sleep, but realised there was no way he could possibly convince Ed he hadn't woken up during the small commotion he'd made getting into bed next to him.

Ed froze, before snuggling hesitantly into his side. "Y-Yeah."

Roy didn't need the soul bond to notice the guilt that one word carried. He opened his eyes, looking down at Ed's blond head tucked under his arm.

"Ed?"

Ed squirmed, looking up at him and opening his mouth. Then closing it. "Uh, Winry had a nightmare."

"Is she okay?" He opted for stroking Ed's back. He didn't think Ed would tell him what happened; it was a private, embarrassing moment he'd probably want to take to the grave, but at least Roy could make sure he was feeling okay. Reassure him in some way, with whatever he was willing to share. He knew Ed well enough now to know when something had rattled him.

Ed averted his gaze. "Yeah, she's, uh, okay now."

"That's good to hear."

Ed was quiet for a few seconds, before blurting out, "Something happened. Kinda. I mean, not really, don't, like, panic or anything but—"

"Ed, breathe."

Ed took a long inhale and said, "It took me completely by surprise, I swear. I had no fucking clue she was gonna do it and—"

"Ed."

"She kissed me." The words were rushed, almost incomprehensible, but Roy understood them well enough. Ed was almost shaking in his arms, so he held him tighter. He really hadn't expected to be told any of this.

When Roy didn't say anything, Ed seemed to go into overdrive. "I swear I don't like her like that—fuck, I didn't even know she liked me like that. She's like a sister to me, I swear, please don't be mad—"

"I'm not mad."

Silence.

Ed blinked, then looked up at his face, scanning it as best he could in the darkness. Roy wasn't sure he could tell much; but then again, Roy wasn't really feeling much. Perhaps it was because he'd seen it happen, seen Ed's reaction in real time, but the jealousy that usually gripped him was absent. If anything, he felt a bit sorry for the Rockbell girl.

"You're…not mad?" Ed asked hesitantly, and Roy wasn't sure what to think of his tone. He sounded almost…hurt?

He felt blind. So, so blind without the soul bond.

"I'm not mad," Roy reassured gently, resuming his back stroking.

Ed stared at him blankly, and then all of his muscles relaxed simultaneously, which Roy chose to take as a good sign. "Oh."

They stared at each other for a few beats, and then Ed said, "You don't seem surprised." Ah, shit. Was Roy going to have to fess up? "Did you know she liked me like that?"

His brows flew up in surprise. That hadn't been the question he thought he was getting. This one was much easier to answer. "I suspected."

"Fuck." Ed buried his face in his chest. "I can't fucking believe I had no idea. I've known her my whole life and you knew, and I didn't."

Roy's hand left his back to stroke his hair. "Sometimes knowing someone for that long can make it harder to notice things like this. Their behaviour towards you changes so slowly you don't notice it's changed."

Ed huffed a shaky breath, and tightened his hold on Roy's torso. "You're…really not mad?"

"I'm not."

"But she kissed me."

"Did you kiss her back?"

"No!" Ed exclaimed, louder than he should've, and winced, curling back into Roy. "Definitely not, I swear."

Roy smiled despite himself at the strong denial. He gripped Ed's chin with his free hand and tilted his head up until he caught his gaze. His thumb absently stroked his chin. "Would you be mad if someone simply caught me by surprise like that?"

He'd said it to prove a point, fully expecting Ed to say that of course he wouldn't, but his expression darkened. "I would've had to try really hard not to punch them in the fucking face."

Roy blinked. Oh.

Ed licked his lips, the arm he had around his waist pulling him closer. "I don't want anyone kissing you but me."

Thing was, Roy didn't want to kiss anyone else anyway. Probably ever again.

Roy's hand had found itself on Ed's back again, stroking gently, but this time it made Ed shiver.

"Roy," he said, in that perfect, slightly rough voice of his.

He tried his best to ignore the tingles that one word elicited. Hearing his name on Ed's lips would never get old. "Yes, Ed?"

"Kiss me."

Roy breathed in, deeply, his body betraying him once again as his cock stirred. "Ed, not here."

"I just wanna kiss you."

It never stopped at kissing, and Roy was about to point that fact out. But the moment Ed's lips were on his, his mind blanked. It was a slower kiss, but passionate nonetheless. Passionate enough for Roy to run his fingers down Ed's torso, tracing his abs until Ed shivered again, and wishing he could have him right then and there.

Roy brought him closer, until Ed was almost fully wrapped around him. Their tongues swirled, Ed letting out a little quiet moan that lit his blood on fire.

Roy broke the kiss, panting harder than he should be, his hands greedily feeling Ed's skin. He could feel Ed's erection pressing against him. He refrained from touching, his fingers hovering over his abs instead.

"Want you," Ed whispered against his lips, and it almost wholly undid him.

"Ed," he said, closing his eyes as pure need sparked through him. Fuck.

Ed bit his jaw, then his lip, before kissing him again. Roy's hand hovered over the waistband of his boxers, his fingers itching to wrap around Ed's hard length.

"Please?" Ed whispered against his lips, rubbing against his hip. "I'll be quiet."

Roy was ruined.

His hand dipped into Ed's boxers, fist wrapping around his rock hard cock. Ed's shaky breath against his cheek had his own cock throbbing in response.

Ed's quiet, breathy moans somehow drove him just as crazy as his loud moans did. His hot breath warmed his cheek with every pump of his cock, shaky and getting faster with every second.

He pushed down Ed's boxers and tried to get into a rhythm under the sheets.

Ed's hand grabbed onto his shoulder, and Roy turned more onto his side to get a better grip. Ed bent one leg at the knee, tenting the sheet over him and giving Roy better access.

How had he ended up here? He couldn't deny Ed anything, he couldn't bear disappointing him, rejecting him, upsetting him. He wanted to give Ed everything he ever wanted, and that included giving him so, so much pleasure.

Ed moaned as Roy teased the tip with his thumb, smearing the precum.

"Shh," he shushed, pecking Ed's cheek.

"I'm trying," Ed panted breathlessly.

Roy picked up his pace, until Ed's face scrunched up in pleasure. His breathing was fast and desperate now, his whimpers somehow seeming much louder since they were trying to be quiet.

Ed turned his face, burying it in Roy's neck and biting down. Roy leaned over to give him better access as he relentlessly pumped his cock.

Ed moaned around the bite, his grip on Roy's shoulder tightening, nails digging in. And then he pulled back from his neck, gasping, back arching slightly as he came in Roy's hand.

Ed's laboured breathing slowly evened out as Roy nuzzled his hot cheek. His cock softened in his hand, but he kept it there, hoping not to dirty the sheets.

He chuckled against Ed's cheek. "Are there any tissues in this room or will I have to run to the bathroom?"

Ed licked his lips, grinning as he nodded to the cabinet between the beds. "There should be some in the top drawer."

Roy turned, opening the drawer with his free hand and blindly searching. Once he found the tissue box, he plucked plenty and carefully wiped his hand and Ed's cock.

Ed watched him with half lidded eyes, his hands caressing his chest and shoulder. The hand on his chest moved lower, past his boxers and gripped his cock.

Roy shook his head. "Not here."

Ed frowned, his lower lip slightly pouting. Roy almost gave in. This was worse than he thought. "But I wanna make you feel good too."

Roy gently removed his hand from his cock and kissed his knuckles. "Later, when we're back home."

Ed sighed but didn't push it, curling into Roy's side again, his limbs fully relaxed. At least he seemed like he would fall back asleep and not ruminate over what happened with Winry.

Roy wished he had that skill.

In the morning Roy wasn't sure what to anticipate. He half expected Ed and Winry to avoid each other, to act awkward and embarrassed—so much so that Alphonse would ask what happened and make it all worse.

But nothing of the sort happened.

Roy had his suitcase packed and ready to go. Ed had waited for him as he neatly packed; he'd taken two seconds to shove everything in his own suitcase and called it packing. Roy folded things, he couldn't not.

Then, they walked downstairs together. Maybe they were simply used to going everywhere together.

The house once again smelt delicious, but Roy was itching to get home to Central. He wasn't even sure why; the void inside of him seemed to grow every time he thought of the possibilities—that Ed would move out, that he and Ed would simply stop what had been blossoming between them these past few months and somehow pretend it had never happened.

Perhaps he was itching to go because he wanted to find out. Because living like this, in the unknown, was extremely unsettling.

At first glance, Ed didn't seem to share the sentiment. He plopped down at the table, stretched, and started piling his plate with food.

Roy wasn't a morning eater as it was, and right now his stomach was in knots, so he opted for a small portion just to not appear rude. At least Ed couldn't feel his anxiety; a small blessing.

"Are you staying today?" Al asked both of them, eyeing Ed a few seconds longer.

"No, I'm afraid I need to get back to work," Roy said. But then he paused, remembering that he and Ed were now two separate entities once again. He looked at Ed, who was staring down at his plate. "You may stay if you wish."

Ed had given up his approved leave because of the soul bond, after all. Now was the time for him to stay with his family.

"I'll come with you," Ed said, still staring down at his plate.

Roy hid his surprise. "As you wish."

Al eyed them sceptically. "How're you feeling today, Brother?"

"Fine."

Al narrowed his eyes, but then looked at Roy. "What about you, sir?"

Roy felt almost normal. He was tired, yes, but he wasn't in any pain. The only concerning thing was the big gaping hole in his chest, and the peculiar feeling that something was deeply wrong—missing. But that was normal right? Al had said their souls might be a bit bruised, so to speak, so maybe that was what that feeling was. "I don't feel much different than usual."

Al nodded, sipping his orange juice. Winry was sitting next to him, silent. She was focusing on her food, but Roy didn't miss the furtive glances across the table at Ed.

Ed didn't seem to notice. He still had his head down, staring at his now empty plate. When he cleared his throat, all eyes turned to him. "We should go, you'll already be late to work today." He stood, and when Roy arched a questioning brow at him, his cheeks turned pink. "Wouldn't wanna annoy Hawkeye, right?"

"Right," Roy said slowly. He decided to indulge him, rising from his chair. He turned to Al and Winry, giving them a polite smile. "Thank you once again for your hospitality."

Al waved a hand. "Please, sir. This is nothing compared to everything you've done for us over the years."

Roy couldn't hide the flash of surprise on his face. He'd opened his mouth to speak, but Ed cut him off. "Don't stroke his ego, Al. It really doesn't need it."

"Brother…"

Roy glared at Ed, but he wasn't looking. In fact, he was halfway up the stairs. In less than five seconds he'd grabbed both their suitcases from the room and carried them down, depositing them by the front door.

Maybe Ed was itching to leave, like him, after all.

"What's the hurry?" Winry asked. She tried to act nonchalant, if not a bit annoyed, but she kept glancing at Ed worriedly. She was probably wondering if Ed's sudden desire to leave had something to do with last night.

Roy had a feeling it didn't. He'd barely looked at her this morning, and it wasn't in an avoidant sort of way. More of a typical oblivious Ed way.

Ed pointed at Roy behind him with his thumb. "He's got work."

"I will be sure to let Hawkeye know about your determination to get me to work on time."

Ed rolled his eyes, handing him his suitcase. "Bet you'd rather stay here and laze around."

Roy smiled. "What a marvellous idea. How about we do that?"

Ed snorted and opened the front door. As they exited onto the porch, Al leaned against the doorframe. "Let me know if anything weird happens, okay?"

That did not sound reassuring in the slightest.

"Weird in what way?" Ed asked, frowning.

Al shrugged. "I don't know, but be aware just in case. I hadn't been expecting your souls to have started merging. There may be other side effects to separating them I hadn't accounted for since I'd assumed they would only be touching."

Roy pursed his lips. He did not like the idea that the bizarre feeling of loss was an unexpected side effect. But he was also reluctant to verbalise it; the fact that their souls had started merging was telling enough, if one knew what it meant.

And he had a feeling that Al may easily start suspecting if Roy gave him anymore hints that something was happening between him and Ed. Telling him that it felt like his soul was mourning the loss of Ed's sounded very tragically romantic.

It wasn't like he could do anything about it either, so there was no point. Roy just hoped it resolved itself in time.

The walk to the train station was quiet. Ed had once again retreated inwards, and Roy had no hints whatsoever as to what was going on in his head. He hated it. He wished he could feel Ed's feelings, feel close to him in a way no one else could. He wished to have access to him in a deeply intimate way no one else had.

He hadn't been expecting to have to constantly remind himself that breaking the bond had been a good thing.

When Roy sat on a bench on the train, he hadn't expected Ed to plop down next to him. Roy turned to look at him, brow raised in a silent question, but Ed wasn't looking at him. He'd already flipped open a book.

After a few seconds, the train began moving, and Roy opted for staring out the window once again. This train wouldn't pass by Ishval, so he found himself decently relaxed. Well, as relaxed as he could be when in public.

He'd already scanned his surroundings; the train wasn't busy, and the closest person to them was an old lady on the bench next to them, on the opposite side of the train. She didn't appear like much of a threat, anyway.

As the train moved, the knot in his stomach squeezed further. Perhaps he wasn't as relaxed as he'd convinced himself he was. He was anticipating—what, he wasn't sure.

Soon, he would know. He and Ed hadn't spoken about what would happen when they arrived in Central. Would Ed simply go to the dorms and Roy to his house? No, perhaps they'd both go to Roy's house for Ed to collect his things. And then he'd go to the dorms.

And then what? Would they somehow meet in secret? Hide something that felt so pure as though it were a disgusting, shameful secret?

Roy didn't know what would happen, and he was too scared to ask. He wasn't sure he could handle all the possible answers. In fact, he could probably handle less than half of the possible answers. So not asking was simply self preservation, really.

He'd been so lost in his thoughts he flinched in surprise when Ed firmly grasped his hand.

His head whipped to Ed, then down to their interlocked hands on Roy's thigh. He blinked. "Ed, what…"

It wasn't often that Roy was speechless, but more often than not the situation involved Ed. Despite his years of practising control over his bodily impulses, he glanced at the old woman.

She didn't seem interested in staring. Perhaps she hadn't noticed. Perhaps she wouldn't care. Perhaps she wouldn't know who they were—maybe she wouldn't know who Ed was; she was old, and Ed was young, and wasn't that the way things went? Perhaps, even if she spotted them, her vision would be so bad she wouldn't be able to tell they were holding hands. Maybe she would even mistake Ed, with his long blond hair, for a woman. Maybe she was so blind she wouldn't even be able to see their interlocked fingers.

Ed saw where his eyes had gone. He followed his gaze, then sighed, shoulder slumping as he leaned his back on the bench. He looked absolutely defeated, and it made Roy frown in concern.

"Is it really that wrong?" Ed said softly.

Roy stared at him, analysing every single inch of his face that he could see. Ed kept his head down, his free hand flicking the corner of the page on his book.

His heart clenched as Ed seemed to retreat further into himself. No, he was not 'fine'. Roy wasn't sure what was wrong, but he was determined to find out. If the transmutation had done something to him…

"It's not wrong, Ed. I just…We're in public."

"I don't care and neither should you."

Roy frowned. He wondered where this was coming from. Ed knew their situation. He'd been okay with no one knowing. He'd understood Roy's need to keep things a secret, and accepted it. What had changed?

I'm scared, Ed. He nearly said it, the confession on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't get the words out. He was scared; of being judged, of what people would think of him, of losing everything he'd worked so hard for. And all for something that felt so fragile and so painfully temporary.

Ed wouldn't stay forever, so why was he expecting Roy to act like he would?

Ed sighed, almost curling in on himself as he went to retract his hand from Roy's. But Roy gave one last surreptitious glance around, assessed the risk, and squeezed Ed's hand, preventing him from slipping away.

Ed blinked at him, his face blank. But Roy saw his eyes glistening, saw the hurt he was undoubtedly trying to hide.

No, he wasn't sure what was wrong, but he was determined not to make it worse.

He gave Ed's fingers another squeeze, and tucked their interlocked hands between their thighs, until they were out of view from anyone around. Ed needed this right now, and the risk was low. Roy could give it.

Ed didn't say anything. He simply went back to his book, using his leg to prop it up and turning the pages with one hand.

Roy's chest ached as he watched him. He tried to reach deep inside him, find the thread that connected him to Ed, but it had been severed, ripped apart, and all he found was that gaping void.