May

There was one place in Peaceful Pines that Chazz wanted to walk past every day after school. It was new, a Polynesian restaurant, and it had two live parrots sitting in the front window. When it came time for Chazz's birthday, his parents asked him what he wanted for dinner and he said, "I want that place, with the parrots."

Beetlejuice and Lydia agreed and they all looked forward to dinner at the place with the parrots. Once there, Beetlejuice told his son he'd read the menu to him and glanced at it casually; then his eyes lighted on one line and he snorted and tried very hard to hold back laughter.

"Papa?" asked Chazz. "What do they have?"

"Okay, so they start with appetizers –" Then, face quivering, he said, "They have . . . they have 'hot pupus'." Beetlejuice's first mistake was looking at his son when he said it. His second was failing to smother a tiny snorted laugh, although he tried valiantly.

Chazz looked up at him, intrigued, uncertain, but with a tiny sly smile. "Hot pupus?" he echoed.

Beetlejuice nodded, grinning, then lost control and cackled madly. At once Chazz followed suit, and the hilarity of their high-pitched shrieks set Beatie off. The entire family was howling with laughter except for Mama, who glared a warning at them.

"Don't you know how rude you're being?" Lydia was ignored but she tried again, vowing not to even smile. "Honestly, you're making fun of someone else's language, you know. Please, stop!" When she was completely disregarded yet again, "I can't take any of you anywhere!" she stated and put her face in her hands until the manager came over to ask if there was anything wrong.

Beetlejuice looked up at him, teary-eyed and panting, and said, "You have hot pupus!"

The manager nodded stiffly and that set off everyone again, including Lydia who just couldn't help herself by then.

Finally, Lydia managed to collect herself enough to apologize and said they'd be leaving right away. And she did manage to get them all out on the sidewalk, after leaving an enormous tip for the meal they hadn't eaten.

But as they left, one of the parrots screeched a laugh just like Beetlejuice's and they knew they could never back go there.

Chazz had a birthday pizza that night and they all enjoyed themselves, but every so often one of them would look at the other in a certain way and they'd start giggling and snorting.

At home, after the presents were given, and the cake was eaten, it was just about bedtime. Chazz had told his parents thank you several times at the goodnight kiss, and went to bed clutching his new Introduction to Chemistry set, smiling.

Lydia and Beetlejuice stood at the door to his room, watching him drift off. "I still think he might be too young for it," she whispered.

"Nah," said Beetlejuice. "He's always in my lab asking about stuff, and this'll teach him to be careful when he uses chemicals. And I'll be standing right there you know." He leaned against the doorframe and looked at his wife. "Sorry about what happened," he said softly. "I'll talk to them tomorrow, make sure they understand why we shouldn't laugh at stuff like that. I just couldn't . . . it hit me when I wasn't expecting it, I guess. And then Chazz looked at me like he was all innocent and I just couldn't help it."

She slipped an arm around his waist. "He's a scamp sometimes. Just like his father." She kissed him and rested her head on his shoulder. "It's not a crime, my darling. It was . . . bad manners, I suppose, and we should try to teach them better. But they are just kids – and so are you sometimes, I think." She grinned up at him.

He stood upright suddenly, having had a fearful thought. "Heart," he whispered urgently, "let's not ever tell them about Lake Titicaca!"