Once upon a time, there lived a puppet who had no name and no place to call home. He was but one of many created by the Raiden Shogun and abandoned when she deemed her creations imperfect. He wandered the land of Inazuma for countless years searching for anything he could call his own.
He had seen much, having travelled to every single island in the country. Every sight and sound, from the colours of the land to the roaring thunder in the stormy sky, the nameless puppet had seen it all. However, the land offered nothing to him that he could call his own and when he could not find anything, he decided to leave the country.
"I didn't know what I was looking for, only that I needed to find something that belonged to me."
He worked for months at the docks before he could find someone who could take him out of the country.
The nameless puppet disembarked at Port Ormos in the land of Sumeru and he wandered around the busy port, looking for anything that could interest him. The port was bright and colourful compared to the port in Ritou. There were so many new things he had never seen before, things that he could never find in Inazuma.
He offered his help to others in exchange for nothing. He did not mind. Being a puppet meant he did not need food or water, not even shelter or rest. People used him to their advantage and the nameless puppet did not care.
"It didn't matter what the job was as long as I was of use. How pathetic."
However, after spending a long time in Port Ormos and not finding anything that resonated with him, the nameless puppet wanted to move on elsewhere. He could walk out and into the wilderness but he lacked the means to fight back. And so he stayed in the port, asking around if anyone could take him out despite not owning a single mora to his name.
The first person he asked offered to take him to Sumeru City in exchange for labour. The nameless puppet agreed but when the person asked him for a name, the puppet had nothing to give. In the end, the merchant took the nameless puppet in. The merchant called him "kid" for the lack of anything to call him by, and the puppet wondered if this was akin to having a name. It was not one, but it was the closest to having one.
They took the long route to the city. The merchant wanted to sell his goods at Caravan Ribat before heading to Sumeru City and what else could the nameless puppet do but follow?
The land of Sumeru was vastly different from the land of Inazuma. It was more green, a singular colour painting half of the land, and dusty yellow ochre colouring the other half. Inazuma was a blend of purple, pink, and blue — like a gradient splash of colour against the backdrop of lightning and thunder. It was interesting to experience and the puppet wondered what the rest of Teyvat looked like.
"I only saw the world in a dull grey."
"And now?" Aether asked as he leaned forward on the table.
"Now? Heh, the world's too bright and colourful in my opinion. But… I don't mind it."
Caravan Ribat sat beside the vast desert of Sumeru. Even just standing near the entrance, the puppet could feel the dry heat from the arid land. As a puppet, he would not die from the heat but could he survive living in such a hostile environment like the desert dwellers? The puppet doubted it. The Raiden Shogun may have created him to be a god's vessel, but even this body had a mortal limit.
He continued his journey with the merchant to Sumeru City riding on the back of the Stumper Beast. The puppet wanted to decline as he knew he would not get tired at all but the merchant insisted, so he reluctantly agreed. He watched the scenery change back to forest green as they moved further away from Caravan Ribat. He observed the colourful wildlife of Sumeru, from the vibrant Dusk Birds to the dull Rishboland Tigers resting on low lying branches.
When they arrived at Sumeru City, the nameless puppet was in awe at the wondrous sight of the large tree holding the entire city by its branches and roots. The Sacred Sakura growing at the Grand Narukami Shrine in Inazuma was nothing compared to the size of the tree standing before him.
The rest of Sumeru City had much to offer to the nameless puppet but not a single one was what he was looking for. He searched everywhere he could but there was nothing that resonated with him. However, there was still the rest of Teyvat to explore and time was a non-factor to an immortal puppet like him. Perhaps it was finally time for him to leave the land of Sumeru and move on to the next country.
He spent days wandering the city when the merchant did not need his help. He would look at the wares other merchants had to offer in curiosity, follow after the many cats living in the city, and watch the birds take flight into the bright blue sky. It was one such day in his wanderings that he met a strange man. He had been distracted when he was walking, unaware of the person in front of him until he quite literally walked into them.
"Oh, sorry. Please excuse me."
However, before he could take his leave, the man grabbed hold of his arm with both of his hands. He tried to pull his arm away but the man's grip was tight.
"Scaramouche? You're… here?"
"Sorry, I think you have the wrong person."
"No, it's definitely you! You're Scaramouche!"
The nameless puppet tried to convince the man that he was wrong in his assumption but the man was not having it. Not even the man's strange companion could pull him away. The puppet was this close to physically shoving the man away if only to get away from him but the stranger revealed his secret, the one thing he never told anyone in the world.
"I know that you're a puppet created by the Raiden Shogun."
It was as if the whole world came to a stop at that sentence. He could not hear the birds chirping on the branches above. He could not see the way the man's face changed to one of concern at the way his breath stopped. He could not feel the rapid beating of his heart as he was bordering on panic. His mind screamed at him to flee, to confront the man, to question how he came to know about his origins. Instead, he stood there like a puppet with his strings cut, unable to move or speak.
"Scaramouche?"
"…Who are you?" the puppet finally said, the words cold on his tongue.
"I… knew you once. I can explain everything, but I need you to follow me. Please."
The last word spoken like a desperate plea and what else could the nameless puppet do but agree?
The man knew who he was even if he had never met him or his companion before. Scaramouche was the name the man called him by but the puppet had never heard of that name before. Could he even call it his name?
The nameless puppet followed the stranger by the name of Aether. They had to drop by the merchant's place to inform him that he would most likely not return and the merchant bid them a fond farewell. The puppet almost did not want to leave but the merchant urged him to go. During the entire exchange, Aether and Paimon remained silent.
"We could visit him later," Paimon said but the puppet shook his head.
"I am a wanderer. Even if I decided not to go with you, it was almost time for us to part ways anyway."
Aether and Paimon led the puppet up to the Sanctuary of Surasthana where the Dendro Archon resided. Just who were these people?
Nahida, the Dendro Archon, explained to him that she held the memories of his past incarnation and that she could give the memories to him. However, when he asked what his past self was like, the hesitation from everyone spoke much of the part of his life he did not remember.
"You want to tell me, but you can't bring yourselves to say it. Looks like I didn't have the most wonderful existence in my previous incarnation."
"We're just trying to think where to start…" Aether said but the nameless puppet shook his head.
"If it's that difficult to talk about, I have no doubt it will be just as difficult to hear."
If his previous incarnation was bad, then was it worth it to remember everything? Was it not better to live blissfully in ignorance where he was happy even if he could never be whole? Was it worth it to let his current self perish for a person disliked by everyone? Was it really worth it?
"I need to know the truth. Please, tell me."
Nahida told him the truth that he asked for. She told him that he had done many evil things. He had suffered and had been the cause of suffering for others. He had killed and slaughtered many. He hated both humans and gods. He never had a place he could call home, always drifting from place to place with a bloodied blade in his hands.
She told him everything — the bitter truth that he asked for. It was painful to hear and almost unbelievable had it been anyone else. He had murdered and killed so many innocent people and when he tried to change the past to save the people he cared about, history barely changed. Then what was the point of his current existence when the actions he took were not enough to shift the flow of time?
If only he never existed… but that was what got him into this mess in the first place, was it not?
"That is the nature of truth. If one thing is right, its opposite must be wrong, and yet dichotomies like this are not enough to explain the world in all of its complexity," Nahida explained.
The nameless puppet turned around to speak to Aether. The man had been silent throughout and his expression was unreadable.
"When you said you knew me once… we were enemies, right? So why are you helping me? Why are you trying to help me find the truth?"
"…Running away is cowardly," Aether answered simply.
Nahida told the puppet that she could show him the memories of his past self. Although he was already willing to believe her words, it would help if he could see the proof for himself. Also, those memories were still his own. So he accepted the offer because he had no reason to refuse.
The sins of his past were still his to bear. It was no longer about seeking out something to call his own, it was about taking responsibility for the mistakes he made even if he never made them in this current life. At the same time, this was what he was looking for ever since he awoke after the Raiden Shogun abandoned him. Even if he would have to atone for the rest of his immortal life, it was worth it to never feel the emptiness inside ever again.
"'Running away is cowardly,' you said to me. What exactly do you mean by that?"
Aether shrugged. "You don't make amends by dying. It's a coward's way out and no one wants that. I don't think Niwa would want that from you as well."
"It's a low blow to use his name to make a point, but I get you. Heh. Don't worry, I won't do it again."
Aether and Paimon followed the nameless puppet into the domain that Nahida created from the memories of his past incarnation. He watched the memories play in the domain, the characters moving through the scenes like a puppet play on a stage.
He saw the kind samurai who took him out of his cage — Katsuragi.
"During the Tatarasuna incident, Niwa was murdered by The Doctor, disguised as a mechanic. The Balladeer, then known as the kabukimono, disappeared not long after. As the second-in-command at Tatarasuna, responsibility for what had happened fell to Mikoshi Nagamasa. But Katsuragi had sworn lifelong loyalty to Nagamasa after the latter had once saved his life. At Katsuragi's insistence, Nagamasa killed him to put an end to the Tatarasuna incident," Nahida narrated and the nameless puppet could do nothing more but watch the scene come to an end.
He saw a kind child who made a promise to him — his younger brother.
"This child didn't have a name. Or rather... The Balladeer didn't know what to call him. His father died before he could name him. After his mother died, the child stayed in their straw hut alone. Some of the neighbours helped to raise him. After leaving Tatarasuna, The Balladeer ran into this child who didn't have a name, just like him. They made a promise to live together. He died from his illness while he was still very young. The Balladeer came home one day and found that he had stopped breathing," Nahida narrated and the nameless puppet could only watch as his past self screamed and cried over a broken promise until the scene ended.
He saw his past self slowly descend to madness. Scene after scene and he could do nothing but watch. He saw how he was used, how he allowed himself to be used, and he felt conflicted inside. He felt anger and sadness for his past incarnation but at the same time, that was him. Would it have been better to forget after all?
"Running away is cowardly." Aether said that to him but the nameless puppet did not understand what it meant. By forgetting all the sins he committed, was he running away?
(What was he running away from?)
The nameless puppet stopped before the path to the next scene. He tilted his head back, eyes looking up as though he could see the god looking down at him. He called out Nahida's name and asked, from the point of view as the God of Wisdom, did she think him as someone evil?
His past incarnation sought to become a human before he became a god. His current self once sought to become a human before he sought to fill the emptiness inside of him.
"If you accept that he is you, just as you are you, then yes — you are evil."
"In your eyes, are there any differences between humans and puppets?" the nameless puppet asked and Nahida paused for a moment to think it over before giving her answer.
"Do you think there are any differences between your present self and your previous and future incarnations? If not, then what are the differences between humans and puppets? Whoever has tasted the joys and sorrows of life in the human realm is human. Whoever has loved and lost, cried with grief, howled with rage at the tragedy of death that eclipses the miracle of life… they are human, too."
Gods and men. Puppets and humans. What was different between the two? Morality? Mortality? He was a puppet who dreamt of becoming human. He was a puppet who became a god. Did he change at all when he tried to change history? Or perhaps he had not even when he remembered nothing of what he did with those unrecognisable bloodstained hands.
If he had not changed just as history had not changed then it would be better to reclaim what was his. He would accept the sins and he would atone for them even if it would take him forever.
(Even if no one remembered him.)
"But I remember," Aether said. "The world can forget you but I won't and I never will."
Nahida warned the puppet that by restoring the memories of his past incarnation, his current self would cease to exist. However, at the present moment, was he existing at all? Was he really living at all when all he did was drift around to wherever the wind took him? Was it better to wander the world forever, searching for something to fill the emptiness in him, until his body finally broke down? Was that any better?
"Was it better to live blissfully in a lie or suffer the rest of your life from the pain of knowing the truth? If I continued to live a lie, I wouldn't be here. But by choosing the painful truth, I died for me to be here. In the end, no matter what I picked, I would have disappeared. If that's the case, why should I continue to live in ignorance when the truth lets me have a choice to decide my path?"
When the memories were returned to the nameless puppet, he fell to the ground in agony. Hundreds of years of memories filled up the empty spaces in his mind and so much more in a span of minutes. He screamed in pain, his eyes not registering the awakened god machine rising up within the domain. Aether, however, did and he stood between him and the false god. Paimon tried to get him to get away to safety but Aether stood firm. He defended the puppet as much as he could, unaware of the puppet rising up from the cracked floor beneath his feet.
He only noticed when the puppet stood in front of him and deflected the beam attack from the false god. The Anemo Vision hovered in front of the puppet, a gift or a curse but strength that he needed nonetheless. He grabbed the Vision, feeling the wind whipping around him as he wiped away the tears staining the corner of his eyes.
He was Kabukimono, a strange person who lived with the humans in Tatarasuna. He was Kunikuzushi, a person who thirsted for revenge. He was Scaramouche, the Balladeer, one of the Fatui Harbingers who laughed as he killed and tortured countless people. He was a wanderer, a nameless puppet who drifted from place to place searching for something he could call his own. Now, he was none of that. He was someone who did not exist and did exist at the same time.
But who was he? He no longer knew the answer.
The false god was laughably easy to defeat with his new Vision. The god was nothing compared to the original. It was just a fake created by his memories. Was that why he lost? Because a fake could never compare to the original? Hah! As if that was the real reason why. He lost because he miscalculated, it was as simple as that.
"Scaramouche?"
"I thought you were blind, not deaf. I told you already, that's not my name."
"Huh? I thought you got your memories back?" Paimon said, looking confused.
"...He means that 'Scaramouche' doesn't exist, so it's not his name," Aether explained.
Nahida took them out of the memory and back into the real world. Aether stumbled as soon as they exited, needing to adjust to losing his sight again. For a brief moment, the nameless puppet felt pity for the Traveller as he watched his companion flutter around him in worry but he squashed that emotion not a second later.
Aether turned to face him, taking a few seconds longer than a regular person to find him. He warned him that the past would catch up to him now that his memories were recovered. The nameless puppet scoffed at that. It was almost reminiscent of the time he warned him about what the Akademiya planned to do to him.
(It almost sounded like he cared.)
Still, there was something that was bugging him. The memories placed were too convenient, as though someone had deliberately laid them out. The scenes were too accurately portrayed for a memory.
It definitely had to be the Dendro Archon's doing but for what reason did she have to go through all that trouble for him?
"Lesser Lord Kusanali, you purposely left that information in Irminsul, didn't you?"
Nahida nodded her head at the accusation. There was not a single trace of guilt on her face. "Yes, and I took pains to make sure that you'd acquire that information naturally."
"Why would you go to such lengths? You trying to win me over too?"
"In all honesty, your past experiences have made you a useful asset to Sumeru and to me. Winning you over was indeed a part of my plan. But before that, I wanted to tell you the truth about your past. If all I wanted to do was use you, then I'd be no different from The Doctor."
(It almost sounded like she cared.)
"What will you do now?" Nahida asked.
What would he do now? That was the question, was it not? He could wander the world but he had no reason to do so anymore. He could join the Fatui, maybe even use them to take revenge against Dottore, but why would he subject himself to the same torment a second time? Besides, joining the Fatui would make Aether his enemy and there was no way he could do that.
"Balladeer?" Nahida called out.
There was one thing he could do now…
"I'm thinking I should change my name. After learning about everything The Doctor did, there's no way I can carry on using a name connected to him. I'm not planning on returning to the Fatui, and they wouldn't take me back anyway. Recent events will have affected a lot of people, and they might not even remember who the sixth is."
"Then what do you want to be known as?" Paimon asked and the nameless puppet shrugged.
"I'll think about it later."
His new name aside, he still had no plans for the future. He wanted to take revenge against Dottore and he needed to repay his debt to the Traveller. There was a price for everything. Even a life had a price attached to it. He would help Aether for as long as it took to repay his debt even if he would have to do it for all eternity.
"I didn't do all of this for a reward," Aether said as he crossed his arms in irritation.
"Heh, guess we have a different outlook on things."
"I hope that one day you will understand."
So what was the first step in order to repay his debt? That was an easy answer.
"I'll be helping you from behind the scenes from now on. I might tag along at times, can't trust that flying thing to be your guide dog."
"Hey!" Paimon exclaimed loudly in outrage. "You're so rude! Paimon's going to give you an ugly nickname!"
"Well go on, what is it?"
"You-! Ugh!"
Paimon broke off the moment she knew she lost the argument, if one could call it as such. Aether had a small smile on his face, amused at his companion's antics, while Nahida carried a wide grin on her face as if delighted at his decision.
"Why don't you choose a new name to celebrate?" Nahida suggested and the nameless puppet could only blankly stare at her.
A new name to celebrate his new life? How absurd, as if he had the right to decide something that important. He was nameless since the day he was born. His mother never gave him a name when she made him and it was only his first family — the humans of Tatarasuna — who gave him his name. He could not use the names of his past lives anymore. They do not exist even when he does.
(And he was no longer the same person as his previous incarnations.)
A name was significant. It was the perfect gift to mark his new life but there was nothing that came to mind.
"Aether and Paimon have helped you a lot. If you can't decide on a new name, maybe you can ask them for ideas."
"Nope, Paimon only does nicknames!" Paimon quickly said, removing herself from the conversation.
Ask Aether for a name? As expected from the God of Wisdom, the idea had some merit.
…Why not? It was not like he could come up with anything. He trusted the Traveller and he owed much to him.
(It almost sounded like he cared.)
Aether looked pensive and the silence dragging the longer he remained deep in thought. He looked up, his eyes not meeting the nameless puppet even as his gaze fell upon him.
"I need your hand," Aether said as he held his hand out, palm facing up.
The nameless puppet moved to obey, the others thankfully silent as they watched. He placed his hand onto Aether's warm hand and the latter adjusted his limb so his palm faced upwards as well. He drew shapes on the puppet's open palm with his other hand, his finger tracing a symbol with an unknown meaning.
"Vesper. In my home language, it means 'evening star'. The symbol I drew is from the Language of the Stars, a language only me and my sister shared… and now you as well. It represents 'twilight'. I am 'sky'. My sister, Lumine, is 'light'. But you are the opposite, so 'twilight'."
The puppet stared at Aether in shock, deaf to the praises Paimon and Nahida threw at Aether for the name. He expected a simple name, a meaningless one, but his expectations were blown apart to pieces. He owed so much to Aether and now that debt had grown in size.
"If you don't like it, I-"
"No," the puppet, Vesper, interrupted. "I like the name."
"I'm glad then," Aether said as Vesper took his hand back.
It still felt unreal to Vesper that he had a name again. It felt so long ago when he was given a name and never did he receive a name that was well-thought out until now. Would he be able to make up for it in this lifetime? Then at least, he would start with atoning for his sins first. He told everyone not to hide the truth of the countless deaths he caused before.
Was it better to live blissfully in ignorance or suffer the pain of knowing the truth? At least when knowing the truth, one could decide how to move on. Whether it was the path of revenge or forgiveness, it was still a choice and the puppet was tired of being pulled along by the puppeteer.
Just as Vesper was about to leave to take a walk and organise his thoughts, Aether stopped him. The Traveller held out a wooden plaque to him. The design on it was definitely something from Liyue and he could feel a strange power emanating from it.
"What is it?" Vesper asked as he examined the strange wooden plaque.
"I have an adepti-created realm that I could rest in. This lets you enter my realm anytime, anywhere as you please."
"And why are you giving it to me?"
"You're planning on leaving Sumeru soon right? This would be helpful when travelling."
Aether was not wrong but still! Why was he giving him free access to his personal home? The Traveller was far too trusting for his own good. However, Aether was not wrong. It would be useful and there was no reason to decline, so he accepted it.
The first time Vesper stepped into the Serenitea Pot, he was surprised to find that there were already people inside. Tubby, the caretaker of the realm. And…
"Niwa?"
"Hmm?" Kazuha hummed, looking up from the bowl of soup he was drinking from. He swallowed before he said, "Hello, I'm Kaedehara Kazuha. If you're looking for Aether, he's not back yet."
Kaedehara? Ah… So he did live in the end. Was this the reason why Aether allowed him entry into this house? To show off his mistakes in front of him? But Aether was not that kind of person.
(And regrettably, it took him a while before he realised that.)
So was this a fated meeting? Coincidence? Even the world laughed at his misfortune. Hilarious, really.
"Are you okay?" Kaedehara asked and Vesper had to crush the urge to break out into laughter.
"I'm fine. I'm not looking for Aether. I was dropping by to rest before I continue on my journey."
Kaedehara nodded his head in understanding. "Ah, another drifter like me. Perhaps one day we will meet outside of this realm."
"Perhaps."
Vesper walked away and entered the mansion where he knew Aether had set up a room for him. As a puppet, he did not need to rest but the man insisted.
"At least know that you have a place to return to." Aether had told him that. He did not call it a home, only a place that he could return to. There was a fine line between a home and a place of return, and Aether was very well aware of that.
He did return, as Aether predicted. He took residence in his room, as Aether had made for him. His debt grew with each passing day, even as Aether did not care for it.
'Give and take' had been a hard lesson he learned all those years ago and one too difficult to unlearn. However, he was a puppet, time was a non-factor and he had forever to unlearn the habit for the people who seemed to care for him.
Still… it would not hurt to indulge once in a while.