After walking down to the entry for Golden Haze, I saw that Hobo Moe was at the front gate and he was on his hands instead of his feet.
"Halt, citizen! You want a show? I can do anything for a bit of cash," he said, me then frowning and shaking my head as I gave him the pizza box. "Huh? Pizza? Sorry, kid, I'm on a low carb diet," he said.
"It's empty, I thought it'd make a nice home for you," I said, him then smiling.
"Oh, sweet! Let me test it out," he smiled as I then opened the box and put it on the ground, him then hopping into it and fitting his whole body in it... somehow. "Oh, wow! Look at all this room! And it smells good, too! Just gotta change a bit of the upholstry and it'll be perfect! Thanks, kid, you made me very happy today! You may pass," he said, me smiling at that.
"You are quite welcome, sir," I smirked.
"Name's Moe the Contortionist."
"And I'm Coop. Pleasure doing business with you," I smiled at him as I then went past him and went to the back of the retirement home, as the entryway was preoccupied by the old lady trying to move to the door, going at .5 miles a day, so it'd be hard to get her to move. I then saw the sight of the prune delivery truck and, along with that, a cart filled with prune juice. "Ugh... desperate times," I groaned as I hid inside of the cart and, of course, got juice on me. "Ew... one more thing I agree with Coop on. We both hate prune juice..." I groaned, staying quiet after as the lady finished her call on the phone and rolled me and the juice into the building, me waiting until I heard the door lock behind me before I exited the room, me then looking around and then at me. "Gross, my new clothes are ruined... wait... but not Coop's clothes!" I smiled at myself.
I then simply took off the prune juice-coated clothing and put them on the ground where I was at and then, after, I wiped my face all over the clothes so that I'd get the juice off. Afterwards, I then put on Coop's clothes that I had stored in my backpack and then proceeded to spray some nearby febreeze on me so I smelled very clean!
"Alright! Call me MacGyver!" I smiled as I then walked to the right hall to the patient rooms and found the room that said Bernie on it, me going inside of it and seeing the gross man himself... and the room smelled just as bad as it looked in the game.
"Ew... excuse me are you Bernie?" I asked.
"Yeah? What's it to ya, punk?" he asked as he produced a knife that had shit on it.
"I uh, have my grandma's pics for you? The one you're dating?" I asked as I handed him the letter, him then looking at them and then smiling, only briefly.
"Yep, this is my Edna alright! So, what're you doin' deliverin' them to me?" he asked.
"I'm her grandson. She asked me to deliver them as a chore," I said.
"Peh! Wanna make yerself useful? Snag some special vicagna for Edna. She'll know what to do with 'em later," Bernie said.
"Okay... where do I get this vicagna?" I asked, knowing it had to be viagra in this world.
"Look fer an old coot sleeping in a recliner in the common room. He never wakes up. He always keeps 'em in his pocket!" Bernie said, me frowning at that.
"Welp, time to die, I guess," I sighed to myself as I then left Bernie's room and proceeded to go to the left to the common room, seeing that the old man in question was asleep, but I also saw why he woke up so quickly from picking his pocket. It was where he also kept a small joy buzzer that would wake him up if his pocket was picked. So, it was time to get creative.
"Hmm... how to do this..." I frowned as I then proceeded to grab a coat hanger from nearby and undo it so that it was a long reaching hook. I then hid under the table and then, from a distance, started to carefully pick the old guy's pocket. I moved as carefully as I could, but didn't get too far because of the fact that the hook couldn't really get a good grip on the pill bottle... I then looked at the fly tape and knew that I had to sacrifice some of it. I simply grabbed it with two fingers and snapped it in two with my teeth, just enough to put onto the hook itself for maximum grip. I then tried again and, score! I grabbed the pills with it effortlessly without touching his joy buzzer defense mechanism! I then proceeded to take out the pills, also with the fly tape, and placed all of them into my bag openly.
Why did I do this? Grandma had spare pill bottles all through her room, according to Coop's memories... I still had to wonder if Coop could be in this body still, but I'd need to find out later. Until then, I simply placed the pill bottle onto the old guy's lap as carefully as possible, him not waking up at that. I then snuck out as fast as I could, going out the front entrance (the old girl came in and got in a wheelchair, thank god) and I then went down to grandma's house once more. I did see the cops on the way, but they looked like they were speaking with Kent and they were all the way down by the abandoned gas station, so they didn't even notice me... I then went into my house and sighed in absolute relief.
"Whew... what a day," I groaned ass I then saw grandma waiting for me.
"Cooper? You look like you're very stressed. What's wrong?" she asked, me sighing as I then simply opened my backpack and showed her all the loose pills. "Um... what are those pills?" she asked.
"Your boyfriend Bernie asked me to steal an old guy's boner pills for tonight's special meeting. Said you'd know what to do with them," I said, which made grandma gasp.
"He had you steal those pills?! Why I never! Why would Bernie have you commit a crime like that?!" she asked.
"I don't know, but it was super stressful... the pills were in a booby-trapped pocket on the old guy I stole it from... I feel absolutely terrible about it... but I had a feeling you'd need them because of a deal you two had or something," I said, her frowning at me.
"I never made a deal for that! We agreed we'd be playing bingo and having strip teases, not actual sex! Quick, we need to throw these down the toilet," she said, me being surprised at that as she and I went up the stairs to the bathroom and we proceeded to flush all of the pills down the toilet, me sighing at that. "I'm so sorry about this, Coop... I had no idea that Bernie was that kind of person! When he comes over tonight, I'm going to turn him down with a pie right to his face! A prune juice pie!" she shouted.
"Whew... that makes me feel better, at least... thanks, grandma," I smiled... but then we heard the sound of a megaphone from downstairs.
"Cooper MacCarthy! Come out with your hands up! We have the place surrounded!" shouted the sound of a cop, me gasping at that.
"Why that no good bastard... he's swatting us again, isn't he?!" I asked in anger as I then looked outside from my room's window and saw that there were five different cop cars outside as well as Kent, who looked like he was going to enjoy some kind of sick show. And then I heard Sawyer's voice on the walkie talkie.
"Come in, agent Cooper. What's going on?" Sawyer asked, me going to the talkie and speaking.
"Agent Cooper to Miss Gazette, Kent called the cops on me again for no reason! They think I did something terrible!" I said.
"After I gave the evidence to the cops, he claimed that he was set up by you so you could be prom king and that, when you became the prom king, you'd have Kent executed. I'm currently grabbing Patty, Holly, and Crystal to join up at your place to set the record straight, but the cops will most likely try to kill you if you go outside! Just stall for time until I get there, it'll be about 10 minutes," Sawyer said, me gulping at that, especially after the cops then said something else.
"Come out with your hands up! If you don't exit the building within the next 5 minutes, we're breaking the doors down and opening fire!" the one cop said, me gawking at how it was the police chief. AKA, the most corrupt of all the authority figures from my part 2 of the game. Police Chief Gluck was his name.
"Shit! What are we going to do, Coop?! What did you do?!" Grandma asked, me sighing at that.
"Kent set me up, and if I don't figure out a way to stall them, they're going to kill us!... Wait... I got it!" I said, getting an idea so crazy, it may just work. I simply grabbed the cane that I used to get into the attic and then grabbed something else, that being a large traffic cone that was kept in grandma's room. I then opened the window to my window upstairs and spoke through it.
"Don't even think about it, coppers! I've got my grandma in here as a hostage! If you dare come in, the old bat gets the bat, got it?!" I shouted at them with the cone acting as my megaphone, the cops then gawking at that as they then spoke to each other.
"Victor roger, we've got a captive situation now! Do not enter the premises until the hostage is returned safely!" the cops said, me then looking at grandma and winking at her as I then closed the window and locked it up tight.
"You're not being serious, are you?" she asked, me smiling at her.
"I'm stalling for time, until my friends come in to help me out. Those cops are idiots. They're gonna believe me if I say I'm holding you hostage, even if that was a boil faced lie," I smirked.
"Gross, but effective... so what do I do?" she asked, me then simply showing her to the chair in the living room and simply grabbing a rope that we had in the basement and having her tied up to the chair (super lightly, and no knots, just a fake hostage situation after all) and then simply turned on the TV to show Memoryheads was playing, which I smiled at. "Ooh! Let's see if they win the car this time," I smiled.
"Ohoho, smart thinking, Coop," she smiled. I then got a call on the house phone and I then answered it, but changing my voice so I sounded deeper. What did I do? I deepened it with a raspy growl.
"Who is it?" I growled at the phone.
"This is the police! Release the hostage and we can end this situation peacefully!" the cops said, me frowning at that.
"You just threatened to kill me if I didn't come out in 5 minutes. How am I to believe it'll end peacefully if I let the old lady go?" I said with a raspy growl.
"Give me the damn phone!" Kent shouted as I then heard a scuffle before he got on the phone. "Cooper, if you don't come out of that house right now, I'm going to come in there and blow your head clean off!" he shouted, me frowning at that.
"And why would you, an unarmed policeman, get access to a weapon? You probably wouldn't even know how to hold a gun, let alone aim and shoot. You're a pussy," I said, him then growling and hanging up, me then looking outside and seeing he was trying to steal a gun that Chief Gluck had, and before he could actually grab it, he then got stopped by Sawyer, Crystal, and Patty coming on three different bikes, them then throwing stuff at Chief Gluck that he looked at in surprise.
"And we got more of those that are scheduled to go into the papers tomorrow, pigs! Unless you leave Cooper alone, you're all going to be blasted all over the five o'clock news for the corrupt assholes you all are!" Sawyer shouted.
"You dare try to turn us in for this?! I could arrest you right now and get all that evidence delivered to me right away!" Gluck growled.
"Not happening. I have it uploaded to the internet on at least five different porn sites, shared it with 100 channels on Yourtube, and I have it shared to almost 100 different news stations on Facebook! If you don't leave Cooper alone for something he didn't even do, then you're all going to be on the FBI watchlist! Let him go and NEVER bother him again, signing it on THIS paper, and I'll delete all of it. Your choice, pedophiles," Sawyer growled, me gawking at that. That was ALSO a part of the game I'd done!
"Rgh... Alright, fine! But he needs to release his hostage first!" Gluck frowned. I then opened the window so I could speak to him.
"You really think that I'd be the kind of person to hold my own grandma hostage? Just sign the stupid paper already," I said, him then growling and then signing the paper, which Sawyer then took photographic evidence of it and then hid the contract in her bag. "Pleasure doing business with you," Sawyer said with a smirk as she then went down the road once again alongside Patti, but Crystal stayed behind and then spat at the chief and then throwing a giant flume of marinara sauce at Kent.
"That was for raping my little sister, and that was for groping Patti and trying to get Coop killed again! Same fucking method as last week, too! Just you wait. I'll send a SWAT at your house if you do something like this again and I heard about it, got it?!" she growled, Kent then gawking and then sweating profusely.
You may think that this was all going too far from the original game, but believe it or not, this was actually a part of the game I made. I ended up recreating Part 1 along with the rest, giving dialogue options and different routes dependent on your actions! If you really wanted to, you could inspect the old man before picking his pocket to find the booby trap joy buzzer and you could get Crystal and Sawyer onto your side if you wanted some extra allies in the later chapters! And you could actually get the special sauce and return the wallet to the blind man for a reward! Regardless, the cops and SWAT team shortly dispersed after and I then simply flipped off Kent and stuck my tongue out at him.
"Get bent, Kent! Got 'em!" I shouted before then closing the window and locking it, before then going around the house and locking every single door. And just in time for the sun to start going down.
"Hah... it's all over, grandma... how about I go ahead and make you some prune juice?" I asked, her smiling at that.
"It's okay, deary. I'd much rather prefer you grab my dentures for me so I can eat some of that pizza. It's not another cheese one, is it?" she asked.
"Pepperoni," I smirked.
"Sweet, my favorite! Is there cheese in the crust, too?"
"Cheddar."
"Hot damn! You're on fire lately!" I giggled at that and proceeded to fetch grandma's dentures from her room and gave them to her before then grabbing the leftovers and seeing that the pizza was still warm, me then bringing at least two slices to her and for me to grab two for myself alongside the rest of my soda and the mac n cheese bites and proceeded to spend the rest of my evening watching funny game shows with grandma... I had to enjoy it as I could, considering the biggest part of the next chapter in the story... If grandma went shopping tomorrow, she'd be safe, so I had to speak to her as we watched the commercials.
"Hey, grandma? Before tomorrow hits, I have a favor to ask for myself... two, in fact," I smirked as I then got her the permission slip for the field trip tomorrow.
"What's this? A field trip to Freaky Fettucini Fair? What's Freaky Fettucini?" she asked, me smiling at that.
"It's a field trip to the fairgrounds that are in the next town over, where the theme of the year is spaghetti and spooky things. The school's inviting students to join in so long as they give a permission slip signed by their parents or guardians. And I was hoping to go, please? And after I walk to the bus stop, you can go shopping," I smiled.
"Oh, deary, I don't really have any money to shop right now," she said, me then providing her the change that I got from the 50 earlier at the pizza store... but it was then that I gawked. It must've not been a 50, but 100! It was a 1 in 5 chance of that happening in the game I made!
"Sweet, it wasn't a 50 that I got, but it was 100! You should be able to get the items we both need tomorrow when you go shopping for at least 2 weeks with this," I smiled at her.
"That sounds wonderful, deary! Here, give me the slip, I'll sign it and then I'll go shopping tomorrow. Don't get into any problems on the trip, okay?" she smiled, me smiling at that.
"I'll try my hardest to be on my best behavior, grandma," I smiled at her... and right after she signed the slip, I heard the door knock followed by the doorbell, me looking at the clock and seeing that it was 8:30 at night.
"That's Bernie for sure. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind! Why don't you go upstairs and head to bed? I don't want you to hear me swearing," she smiled.
"I already heard you swear today, but I'll take you up on that," I smirked as I then went upstairs and proceeded to get to bed, setting the potato clock to go off at 7 in the morning, as the bus was set to leave at 8 in the morning. And I had to wonder... how was I going to get past the bullies if they were THIS pissed at me? I just had to hope I'd be able to stop them as well as eradicate them with the blast if I got in that giant vat of green gel... as for what would happen? Stay tuned for when I wake up.