22
By the time Bella walked home, her tears had dried up. She had never had so many people watching out for her, or maybe she had and she'd just been too blinded by her anger to see the support she had. Thom had always been nice, caring. Almost every evening he had offered her a ride from the ferry to the house. Most days she said no, wanting to prolong her sentence a little longer, but occasionally she would accept. When she did, they would talk about books and movies, art and culture. She thought he just felt sorry for her, and maybe he did, but at the same time, maybe he genuinely was a kind old man.
When she reached the house, she saw Edward and Garrett's car parked in front. She could hear music blasting from inside, but instead of going in, she settled on the porch swing and slipped her phone from her pocket. Biting the inside of her lip, she scrolled through her contacts until she found who she was looking for.
Phil Dwyer was the head of The Dwyer Foundation, a nonprofit, that donated millions of dollars to various medical trials. They, also, had a prestigious scholarship that they only offered to one student per year, a full ride for medical school. Bella had battled hundreds of other applicants, wrote one hell of an essay, sat in front of the entire board and answered question after question after question, convinced that she had blown her interview. However, three days after her interview, she got the call that she had won.
Charlie and Renee had driven up from Forks, taken her, Jasper, and everyone else out to dinner to celebrate, saying how incredibly proud they were of her, of all them, but especially her. That night, after dinner, while everyone waited outside for Charlie to pay, her father had wrapped his arms around her and said, "Baby girl, you're going to change the world, and I can't wait for you to make enough money that I retire."
She'd laughed and pushed him away, telling him he was on his own. But she would have taken care of him, of both of them for the rest of their lives if she could. But before she could use the scholarship and change the world, her father died and her mother transformed into someone else.
She took a deep breath before she called Phil, expecting the call to be sent straight to voicemail, so imagine her surprise when after only two rings, she heard a click, followed by a tentative, "Hello?"
"Mr. Dwyer, you may not remember me, but my name is —"
"Bella Swan, yes, I remember. It's been a while, dear."
"Yes, I know."
"How have you been?"
"Um, I've had better years, to be honest."
"Yes, I'm sure you have. How is your mother?"
"The same. Always the same."
Phil hummed.
"I don't really know how to say this, and I know the answer is probably no, but I was wondering if . . . my scholarship is still available."
"Oh."
"Like I said, it's probably no."
"I didn't say no."
"But you didn't say yes, either."
He chuckled softly. "Touché, dear."
"I know it's a lot to ask, and I know a lot of people thought I was stupid for giving up my scholarship in the first place."
"No, we didn't."
"No?"
"Do you know why you were chosen above everyone else?"
"Because you drew my name out of a hat?" she joked.
He laughed. "How did you know?"
This time she laughed.
"You were chosen, Bella, because when you sat in front of the board and answered all our ridiculous, overbearing questions, we saw the future of medicine in your eyes. It was a unanimous decision, dear."
"It was?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"I will be the first to admit that when I received your phone call, I was . . . saddened, I guess is the right word, that the world was going to lose out on such an amazing doctor. But I understood that you had to put your mother first. She's your family, dear, and family should always come first. So, now I am going to ask how I can give you back your scholarship when she is still the same, always the same."
Bella leaned back and pulled her knees to her chest. "I've come to realize that I can no longer be the only person taking care of her. She needs more than just me, and to be honest, I deserve better than to be stuck in a life being my mother's caretaker. It hasn't been an easy decision, but through a series of events that I don't really want to get into right now, I have decided it's time to place her in an assisted living center."
"And you're going to medical school?"
"If they accept me, yes."
"So you haven't gotten an acceptance yet?"
"No. I . . . I know calling you is putting the cart before the horse, but if they do let me in, and you tell me no, I am going to have to figure out a way to pay for school. I gave up a lot for my mom, and I don't necessarily regret it. There were times when it was worth it, but she would want me to start living again, and so would my dad."
Phil sighed. "Let me make some calls. I can't promise you anything, Bella, but let me make some calls."
"Thank you. I'd appreciate anything you can do for me."
"You're welcome. If you get a reply on your application, let me know. It would definitely help talk the board into making an exception if they knew you had been accepted once again."
"I will, and thank you."
Bella ended the call but before she could stand, the front door opened and Jasper walked out. He smiled as he sat next to her, turning her so her legs laid across his lap. She smiled and leaned her forehead against his shoulder.
"You've been sitting out here for a while. Everything okay?"
She nodded. "Just . . . just feeling overwhelmed and sad."
"I don't like you feeling sad, Cricket."
"I'm not sad with you," she whispered. "It's just been a lot over the last . . . Well, I could lie and say days, but it's more like years, Jay. I feel like my entire life had been put on hold, which it had, and now, I'm getting a second chance, and I feel guilty for wanting it so much."
"Why guilty?"
"Because she's not getting one? Because even though it's not fair, I feel almost relieved that she won't be my everyday problem anymore. How selfish is that? To be thankful that I won't have to deal with her every single day?"
"It's not selfish at all."
"Bullshit."
"Okay, maybe a little selfish, but she told you that this is what she wants, Cricket."
"I know. I just need some time to process it, I guess."
"Time away from me?" He asked, his voice dropping low.
"No. I've already lost too much time with you, Jay."
Jasper smiled. "I still can't believe I'm holding you in my arms again."
"Me either." Bella slid her hand onto the side of his face before leaning up and pressing her lips against his. However, before she could deepen the kiss, the sound of the front door opened, and they pulled away from each other, turning and finding Edward and Garrett stepping out onto the porch.
"We're not interrupting anything raunchy, are we? We'd hate to see Jasper copping a feel," Garrett snickered.
"Again," Bella, Jasper, and Edward replied together, all four of them laughing.
"No, no, we're being good for now," Bella quipped. "Thanks, you know, for sitting with my mom yesterday."
"You're welcome," Edward said with a frown. "You know, I . . . I didn't believe that she was as mean as you said."
"Let me guess: seeing it for yourself made you realize I wasn't exaggerating."
He nodded.
"I wish I had been." Bella turned and raised the sleeve on her T-shirt, showing Edward and Garrett. "Right after we moved here, I was late getting home thanks to the ferry breaking down. I was tired, so I ordered pizza instead of cooking. Well, she didn't much like that, and she threw a glass against the wall, and then proceeded to come at me with one of the broken pieces. I managed to get it away from her, but she had already cut me. I distracted her and managed to stitch up my arm, clean up the mess, but that night . . . that was the night I called Heidi for help."
"Why didn't you call us?" Garrett asked. "We would have helped."
"I know, but you were in the middle of medical school, Garrett. You were too busy racking up clinical and lab hours, and studying. I couldn't ask you to take time away from school to come help me."
"You could have," Garrett muttered. "We would have dropped everything for you, Bella, for you and for her." He shrugged Edward's hand off his shoulder as he walked over to her, kneeling in front of her. "What did you tell me when my parents showed up outside of the dorms freshman year with all my shit? When they kicked me out when I told them I was gay, what did you tell me, Bella?"
"I said you didn't need them, because you have me and Jay, and Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Kate, Angela, and Edward. And that maybe your parents didn't love you for you, but mine would, and they did. They loved you even though you were a smart ass."
Garrett laughed. "Your dad called me that night, and do you know what he told me?"
Bella shook her head.
"He said fuck them, Garrett. Fuck them for not being proud of the man they raised, and then he told me that if Edward broke my heart, he'd kick his ass because that's what dad's do when their children fall in love."
Bella brought her hand up to her mouth, muffling her sobs. "You never told me that."
"Didn't seem important."
"I'm sorry," she cried, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him into a hug. "I am so sorry I haven't been there for you, or Edward, or anyone else. I'm so fucking sorry, Garrett."
"Don't apologize for taking care of your mom, or yourself. Just let us help you, Swan." Edward knelt next to his boyfriend. "Let all of us help you."
"I'm trying. I promise. You're just going to have to be patient with me, because this is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."
"Patience we have, Swan." Edward wrapped his arm around Garrett as the two stood. "We're heading to the ferry to pick up Kate and Ang. They are bringing more boxes. Need us to pick up anything? Coffee? Wine? Condoms?"
"No, we're good," Bella said, rolling her eyes.
"Just making sure, Swan. Just making sure."
Jasper flipped him off before they watched Edward and Garrett walk down to his car and drive away. Then, he stood and pulled Bella to her feet, leading her into the house. Most of the living room and kitchen were already packed, and as they walked upstairs and into her mother's room, she found half a dozen boxes sitting on her mother's bed.
"They don't want to overwhelm me, do they?" she asked.
"No."
She nodded as she walked over and picked up a picture of her, Renee, and Charlie taken on Christmas the year she graduated high school. She'd just gotten her acceptance letter to UW. Charlie and Renee had been so proud of her, so freaking proud.
"How'd it go with your landlord?"
Bella placed the picture in one of the boxes before she turned to him. "They seemed to be prepared for me to be moving soon. They have me this," she added, digging the check out of her back pocket and holding it out to him.
He took it, and pulled it out of the envelope, his eyes widening. "Holy shit, Cricket."
"I know." She pushed the boxes back and sat on the side of the bed. "I called Phil Dwyer, too."
"And?" Jasper asked handing her the check back before he sat down.
"He didn't say yes, but he didn't say no, either. Said my acceptance back into medical school could go a long way to convince the board to give me my scholarship back."
"Wow."
"I know." Bella leaned her head on his shoulder. "I don't know where to start."
"How about I pack her clothes, and you go through her pictures. They might help ease the transition if she has as much as she can from home."
"Have you talked to Peter? Is she okay?"
"I texted with him about an hour ago. Said she was agitated, but doing okay. Heidi was there, too."
"I should be there."
"Just say the world and we can leave right now. Be at the hospital in an hour."
"Don't tempt me like that, Jay."
"I'm serious, Cricket. If you need to go be there with her, I will take you. The others can pack up the rest of the house, or we can wait until we get her settled in Bayview."
"I don't want her, I want my mom." Bella reached behind her and picked up a box, dropping it onto the floor. "Maybe they should bring some wine."
Jasper laughed. "I'll text Edward."
Bella smiled. "Thanks. I know I'm being . . . dramatic, but —"
"You're not being dramatic."
She scoffed and picked up another photograph of her mother and father, this one from their wedding day. "Have you and Peter made up?"
Jasper sighed. "Yes? No? Depends on the day. Dad and I . . . we've come to a mutual agreement that I fucked my life up, but he knows I've been trying to fix things. Maybe he'll finally forgive me now that you're back."
"You know he worries about you. Ben is . . . Well, Ben, but you've always been the more cautious of the two. Maybe that's why you and I work so well together. Neither of us are great when it comes to taking chances, but when we do, we're the in it forever kind of people."
Jasper shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know, Cricket. I fucked a lot of shit up, said a lot that I will never be able to take back, I guess. I'm just lucky he let me come home, even if we fight all the time. I just . . . I didn't want to be reminded every day of how much I screwed up, and between him hovering to make sure I didn't do something stupid like down a bottle of Jack, and her calling non-stop for six months straight, and then refusing to appear in court so I can be rid of her, I guess I felt like . . . like nothing I did was good enough. Ben and Alice, Edward and Garret, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Kate, and Angela, you know, they were there every single day since I came back, never pushed for more than I could give them. Only Edward, Garrett, Ben, and Alice even know half of what I went through with Maria."
"Why didn't you tell the others?"
"It humiliating enough that they saw me in my weakest, Cricket, I didn't want them to know how I let her beat on me like that."
"Can I ask you why you let her?" she asked, softly, and when he looked at her, she added, "I'm not judging, I'm simply asking. Trying to understand."
He nodded and stood. "At first, I didn't even really comprehend what she was doing, I guess. I stayed drunk, it was easier. And when she first started pushing the idea of me sleeping with women from the club for money, I laughed. I laughed because what kind of wife would suggest her husband prostitute himself like that, right?"
Bella hummed.
"But she was serious. I told her I may be a lot of things, but a whore wasn't one of them. And do you know how she responded?"
She shook her head.
"She laughed. She fucking laughed and then she slapped me and told me the only part of me that was worth anything was my dick and if I were smart, I'd use to make some money. I just . . . I just didn't know what to say, how to respond, so I turned to walk away and she pushed me against the wall, and just started wailing on me. I should have knocked the crazy bitch on her ass, but I just sat there on the floor until she tired herself out. She said I was pathetic and stupid and worthless, and when she went to bed, I packed my shit and left."
"That bitch was always crazy," she whispered.
"Yep."
"Can I ask you something else?"
"You can ask me anything."
"You said you didn't sleep with the women at the strip club."
"No, I didn't," he replied slowly.
"But you touched them? And they . . . they touched you?"
His eyes closed as he nodded. "It's not something I'm proud of."
"I'm sure you're not, but was it just touching, or was it oral sex, too?"
Jasper sighed.
"Oh."
"I'm not going to lie to you, Cricket."
"No, I know. I just . . . you're the only man I've ever been with, and you have all this experience now."
"Are you worried that I don't enjoy having sex with you now because of all of that?"
"No, of course not."
Jasper shifted on the bed, pulling his leg up. "Have I not done a good enough job in the last week of showing you just how much I love being inside you?"
"Of course you have. I . . . I just worry that you'll get bored with me."
Jasper laughed and stood. "Nothing I did with anyone else, comes close to the way you feel wrapped around me, Cricket."
"Okay."
"Clearly you don't believe me," he scoffed, and pushed against her shoulders so that she laid back on the bed.
When he reached for the front of her jeans, she covered his hands and said, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to prove that you and only you do a Goddamn thing for me."
"Jay, I —"
"Move your hands, and lay back, Cricket."
"You're being ridiculous," she snickered, but laid back and dropped her hands onto the bed.
"Yeah, well, you need convincing, and who am I to refuse the chance to —"
But in that exact moment, the sound of the front door opening and Edward, Garrett, Kate, and Angela laughing echoed upstairs, so Jasper took several steps backward and shrugged.
"Guess we'll have to wait until tonight."
"Fucking tease," she muttered under her breath, but when he laughed and hurried out of Renee's bedroom, she couldn't keep the smile off her face and she stood and followed.
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