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author: Aker
title: Visiting Old Friends
series: Doctor Who
season: 4 NewWho, after 4.08 - Silence in the Library/4.09 - Forest of the Dead, before 4.11 - Turn Left
rating: G
genre: humour
disclaimer: Doctor Who is the property of the BBC. No infringement of these rights is intended.
summary: Visiting old friends is all well and good, but what when you can't leave, because something is very wrong with the TARDIS? Or is it "wrong", really …
author's notes: In honour of the occasion.
This story was written in 2011 after I had watched season 5. The idea of the planet and the "friends" is borrowed (with permission; thank you Astra!) from a story I was beta-reading at the time.
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Visiting Old Friends
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"Oh," Donna panted, "why was it again we had to slouch along through this heat?" She wiped sweat from her face for the umpteenth time while she trotted after the Doctor.
They were currently walking across the deserted surface of an alien planet. A very hot alien planet, in fact. The bright twin suns burned from an almost white sky, although they had barely risen above the horizon, yet. And, as if that wasn't enough, the sand beneath their feet was giving way with every single step they took, rendering it even more difficult to make progress.
"We were visiting some very old friends of mine," the Doctor replied, unusually quiet and solemn.
"Oh, right, friends," Donna gasped. "You don't mean that strange forest, do you? All you did was standing there staring, while I was melting away into a puddle."
They had indeed found a small isle of dazzlingly green and unbelievingly lively vegetation just a few valleys behind the flat hill the TARDIS was parked beside. Like a Fata Morgana of an oasis in the middle of the Sahara desert, it had appeared. But that small forest of strong, knobbly trees had been very real. Unfortunately, the scarce shadow it had offered hadn't contributed much to cool them down.
"Yeah, I mean that forest," the Doctor replied absent-mindedly, then snapped back in the here and now. "Aw, come on, it were just a few minutes. And wasn't it a brilliant sight? Ah," he continued before Donna had a chance to answer with probably anything but agreement. "There's the TARDIS. That's quite a sight, too."
And it was, indeed. Her blue blazed in the way too bright light, easily outdoing the heavy grey of the lazily rolling sea behind it. The Doctor's eyes twinkled fondly as he quickened his pace, leaving Donna behind. She threw her hands in the air in despair, but the view of the blue ship was raising her spirits, also, so she spared her breath for a short jog instead of a flippant remark.
As she reached the Doctor, he had already fumbled his key out of his pocket and inserted it into the lock. She couldn't wait to get into the cool inside of the ship. He tried to turn it, but nothing happened.
"What?" He looked at the key and tried it again with a bit more force this time, but still to no avail.
Donna groaned and leaned against the door frame.
"Hurry up, Spaceman. If it's gonna get hotter by just one degree, I'm going to melt for real." She sighed piteously, although the Doctor didn't listen. As always. She watched him for a few seconds, then noticed something odd. "Hold on, what's that?" Incredulously, she pointed at a sticker on the panel below the window of the right door. "That hasn't been there before, has it?"
"Sure it has," the Doctor replied dismissively, jerking and pulling at the door handle. "St. John Ambulance. I always had one of these."
Donna frowned but couldn't remember anything like that. On the other hand, she had to admit, she had never looked at the TARDIS that closely, just enjoyed the overall view, for it either promised a new world to discover or a quick getaway from some grumpy alien monster-cockroaches with guns.
With a grunt, the Doctor finally managed to push the door open.
"Aha!" he exclaimed triumphantly, but added more quietly: "Should oil the trimonic barrier at some point, though."
They stumbled gratefully into the welcoming orange glow of the console room, enjoying the sudden drop in temperature.
And then they froze.
"What's going on?!" Donna managed to say.
Their mouths hanging open, they stared at the console room. A console room it still was, but its appearance had changed completely. The foremost vast, empty space had given way to something crammed full of arced walls, stairs and copper-coloured metal structures, dotted in no recognizable pattern with roundels and the lights that had previously lined the walls. The mighty columns had gone, but would have been completely superfluous now, anyway. The elegant, almost grown looking console had been replaced by something that gave the appearance of being locked up into a cage, although it bore something familiar. Not least due to the still very memorable assembly of instruments.
"Oh, nonono! What happened here?!" The Doctor threw his coat over the handrail of the steps which let onto the platform that surrounded the console, and entered the slippery, transparent plates that had replaced the grille. He stared at the controls in disbelief. "It's … it's so organized! Where's my creative chaos? How am I supposed to find the necessary controls this way?!"
"Organized?!" Donna couldn't believe he had said that. Compared to this chaos, where one didn't know where to look first, the old console room had been downright Spartan. "It looks as if someone went to a scrapyard for a shopping tour."
"Oi! No insults to my ship," he rebuked her, although he didn't look entirely happy, either. Scratching the back of his neck, he surveyed the console more closely, muttering in doing so, "You might have a point. More of an electronics sell-out, though. Anyway …" He slipped his glasses onto his nose and began to check the instruments and the screen.
"So it is still the TARDIS?" Donna stepped tentatively on the raised platform, as well. "If that's really your ship, what happened?"
"Oh, just a change of the desktop theme," the Doctor replied casually, then frowned at the data output.
Donna stared at him in disbelief.
"Desktop ... You mean it just changed its appearance like a pic on a screen? Oh, your ship is just as unbelievable as you are!" She punched his arm amicably for emphasis. "Does it do that often?"
"No, usually not," he ground between his teeth, totally distracted. "Oh, it can't be!" he suddenly exclaimed, causing Donna to jump.
"What can't?"
"Why had he to … aw," he groaned and turned towards her. "Once, just once, I said to myself, 'Read the damn manual, finally!'. I'd always wanted to, you know, but it's just so boring." He waved his hands into Donna's face, but had lost her completely. Dumbfounded, she observed his enigmatic monologue. "But then, you know, between all the running and stuff, you just, well, you sleep so much and that's even more boring. You're just human, after all."
"Oi, excuse me!"
"My pleasure," he acknowledged and continued as if he had never been interrupted. "So I picked a random chapter. Wanted at least a bit of a surprise, and look what I found again. HADS it's called. Hadn't used it in centuries. Completely forgotten about it. So I thought, 'Let's try it. What can possibly go wrong?'."
"Er, is that leading somewhere?" Donna didn't get a word of what he was rambling on about.
The Doctor, his arms still upraised, looked surprised at the question that had interrupted his speech.
"'Course, it does."
"All right, what's it with the hats, then?"
He let his hands fall back down.
"HADS, Donna, not hats. Hostile Action Displacement System. It relocates the TARDIS to a safer place nearby when it's under external danger. What I forgot about that point was how rubbish the places are it chooses."
Donna still couldn't follow.
"But it was where you'd parked it."
"No, it wasn't. Because that," he raised his arms again and, in turning slowly, encompassed the whole of the ship, "is not my TARDIS."
Now, Donna was confused entirely.
"But you said …"
"Yeah, I know. Look," he indicated the screen, which told Donna nothing since she couldn't read his gibberish. "I, or rather a future me – for I certainly would remember something like this, so it's not happened, yet – had to land just where my TARDIS was parked. Normally, when a landing space is already occupied, the materialization procedure would simply correct the landing path, shifting the coordinates until an empty space is found nearby. But with the HADS operating, the TARDIS interpreted the interaction with another temporal field as a hostile assault and dematerialized to settle down somewhere else."
"So where is it then?"
The aspect of two TARDISes at the same time was somewhat bizarre, but on a planet like this, it shouldn't be too hard to find the right one. She was a bit proud that the mixing of timelines didn't confuse her as much as it had at the beginning of their adventures. That she still wasn't getting the Doctor's point, she realized when he drew in a deep breath before answering,
"Well, apparently it interpreted the other TARDIS as a particularly dangerous enemy and relocated itself not to another space, but another time."
Donna stared at him blankly. "So?"
"Donna," he said quietly, "my TARDIS shifted one second out of sync with the time stream. Into the future. Meaning, we can't reach it."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
She paused for a moment, thinking, then enquired,
"But couldn't we just ask your future self to bring us there? Shouldn't be too complicated, should it?"
"Er, ah," the Doctor stuttered in alarm and physically recoiled from the mere suggestion. "I don't think that's a good idea. Apart from the fact that it doesn't work that way and if probably could rupture the whole of time, we usually, er, don't get along … too well."
"Usually? Are you telling me, you've already met yourself?"
"Yeah," he stretched uncomfortably, scratching his sideburn. "A couple of times, in fact. So I know what I'm talking about."
"But wouldn't that be brilliant? Two of you!" imagined Donna and smiled amused. "Two geniuses at work and our problem should be solved," she snapped her fingers, "in no time!" She almost could see the two skinny Jack in the boxes racing around the console, bombarding one another with obscure technical terms, half of which surely just invented to impress the other. She grinned.
The Doctor tilted his head a little, lifted his eyebrows and muttered, "Well …"
"Oh, don't tell me you can't stand to be outdone by your other self." Donna laughed. "No, really?"
"'Course not!" She scrutinized him. "Oh, well, maybe, but that's not the point."
"I think it is," she grinned. "Well then, Spaceman, think of something else to get us away," she offered generously – and still grinning.
He pulled a face and muttered,
"Tell them about the destruction of the universe, and trust they'll jump at the fact you mentioned you wore red rompers as a baby instead of blue ones or something."
Donna grinned like a Cheshire cat,
"Exactly. That's humans for you."
The Doctor snorted derisively and leaned over the controls again.
"I'm going to redirect my TARDIS' materialization spot via remote control, but you can do something useful, too."
"Me?" Donna asked surprised. "But you do remember what I told you about changing fuses, don't you?"
"I'm not asking you to reinvent the Stattenheim remote." The Doctor turned a switch and pointed at the old-fashioned screen above his head. "Stop them from getting closer."
"Who?" Donna looked at the screen. The image had changed to an outside view of the ship's surroundings. Three streaks were bobbing on top of one of the hills along the shore, heading straight for the TARDIS. "Who are they?"
"The inhabitants of this TARDIS, I would imagine."
"Oh, right." She folded her arms. "And what should I possibly do to stop them? Run out and shout, 'Hey, Mr. Future-Doctor, could you please wait a sec, we're not finished, yet'?"
The Doctor threw her an impatient look.
"Think of something to distract them, Donna, that'll do. And don't let them see you. Now shush, I've got work to do." He began frantically to type on an old, very colourful keyboard, all the while muttering, "What a rubbish idea to read the manual. I always said it's just a waste of time." Leaning over to the diagnostics panel, he added incredulously, "A Bunsen burner? What the heavens is that for? …"
Donna on her part grumbled,
"'Think of something', right. Thank you very much for your help."
She looked around, but couldn't find anything helpful. However, seeing the three people coming closer by the second, she finally grabbed the Doctor's coat, hoping she would find something useful inside the bottomless pockets, and hurried to the doors. She opened them cautiously to avoid the usual creaking, and sneaked outside.
The doors were facing in the opposite direction, so she didn't have to worry that the other Doctor and his companions would see her. The question of who they were and what had happened to herself began to nag at her mind, but she pushed it away for later. For a short second, she hesitated and pondered whether she should just ignore the Doctor's wish and contact his future self, regardless of what he had said. He might have exaggerated, as he did sometimes, though in the end it wasn't worth the risk.
Cautiously, she glanced around the corner of the TARDIS, but hastily snatched her head back and drew in a nervous breath. They were barely a hundred meters away by now, although they strolled rather slowly along the beach. She could hear them talking, already, if she listened carefully. Frantically, she lifted the Doctor's coat and searched its pockets, pulling lots of bits and bobs out of them. Alongside more or less useful items such as a penlight, a miniature binocular, tape, rubber bands, a piece of string or a chain of linked paper clips, she unearthed a cricket ball, a yellowed paper bag with stone-hard jelly babies in it, a plastic bag without anything in it, mysteriously another wind-up mouse, a dried out felt-tip pen, a yo-yo, a spoon, the handcuffs from their earlier encounter with Professor Song, a rubber duck, various coins, a slingshot, two bananas, playing cards, odd shaped magnets, rubber balls, marbles, underwater goggles and generally more than should fit into them.
"What am I supposed to do with that?" she asked aloud in disbelief and a little panicked, staring down at the heap of junk she had piled up. How the hell did the Doctor always manage to pull out of these pockets exactly what he needed at the time?
For lack of a better idea and remembering how they did this in books with stones they cast into bushes, she grabbed the cricket ball, rounded the TARDIS the other way to stay out of view, and threw it in a wide arc into the sandy hills – she herself couldn't even hear the muffled plop as it fell down. And so couldn't the advancing people. Sweating, but not due to the heat, she retreated behind the TARDIS, her heart pounding fast. Her look fell onto the clockwork mouse.
'Well, it worked once,' she thought and gripped it, wound it up, and threw again, this time in the direction of the water, hoping the fall into it would give a more sufficient sound.
She hadn't needed to worry. Squealing in a high-pitched mechanic voice as if in protest as the wheels gripped nothing but thin air, it captivated the attention of the approaching group long before it hit the sea, splashing softly, and vanished into its depths. They stopped and craned their necks to discover where the unexpected sound had originated from, then began to discuss the problem animatedly.
Donna heaved a big sigh of relief and hoped it was enough distraction for the Doctor. Without wasting time with observing them further, she hurriedly collected the various items she had pulled out of his pockets, stuffed them back and stumbled back into the TARDIS.
"I did what I could," she reported, panting. "Don't think it'll put them off for long, though."
"Yeah, I saw," the Doctor replied and straightened, moaning regretfully: "That was already the second one."
"The second …?" she asked baffled, then understood. "You mean the mouse? I almost wetted myself out there, and you bemoan the toy mouse?!" Donna rolled her eyes. When there was nothing more important! She should have been angry, but felt more like laughing.
"It was a good mouse," the Doctor replied, offended. "Might have proved useful with some certain cats. Anyway, thanks, but I'm afraid that won't be enough."
Donna's heart sank.
"What do we do then?" she asked worriedly. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, after all, to contact the older version of the Doctor?
But he gave her a crooked smile, indicating he had still some ace up his sleeve.
"Well." Linking his fingers, he cracked his knuckles. "If not this way, then another."
And he set off to do once again some adjustments with amazing speed. All Donna could do was watching, until she heard with a start the noise of a key in the door lock. The Doctor heard it, too. He tapped a few frantic final orders, then looked up and grabbed her hand.
"Hide!" he yelled and, giving her a wild grin, pulled her along with him behind one of the arcing walls beside a staircase that led somewhere upwards. There, he ushered her into the shadows it offered and peered cautiously around the corner as the doors opened.
~O~
Gratefully, they stepped into the cool embrace of the TARDIS control room as the Doctor opened the door.
"Remind me, what were we wandering in the heat for?" Amy asked while hurrying to one of the seats to reach it first. Slumping into it, she sighed, relieved.
"We were visiting some old friends."
The Doctor strode to the console, apparently completely unfazed by the heat outside. Amy pouted in envy. She and Rory were soaking wet and panting for air.
"What old friends?" she yet managed to ask. "We didn't meet anyone. No-one would be stupid enough to live here, anyway. Odd sound, though, earlier," she added.
The Doctor smiled knowingly.
"The trees. I'm talking about that small forest, Pond. It could do with a pond, by the way. That world's dying."
He took a few steps around the console, adjusting some settings.
"How come there is a forest in that desert, anyway?" Rory cut in. He was still standing by the doors, emptying his boots of sand.
The Doctor smiled to himself, again, and threw him an odd look, which Rory returned hesitatingly, unsure what could have been wrong about this simple question.
"Just a leftover," the Doctor finally answered, staring into the distance. But he shook that unusual solemn streak off quickly. "Be glad there are still isles of plant life out there." He pointed a finger at him. "Or we wouldn't have been able to breathe outside."
"Couldn't have been much worse," Amy remarked.
"So then!" The Doctor clapped his hands adventurously, ignoring Amy's reply. "Time we're off then. Where do you want to go, the past or the future?"
"How about somewhere else than Earth?" Rory suggested.
"You're not complaining, are you?" asked the Doctor.
"No, he's not," said Amy snippy and cut Rory short. She got up and joined the Doctor at his side, her eyes wide as her thoughts already wandered excitedly towards their next adventure. "Just surprise us. Give it your best shot."
"Alright, then," he grinned at her, looking forward to doing just that: surprise them. "I know just the place."
Pulling levers and switching buttons, he wandered around the console and prepared the TARDIS for flight.
And then he half turned, still bent forward, and threw a glance over his shoulder. Right at the place, where his former incarnation and Donna were hiding. His eyes directly met the younger Doctor's, which widened in surprise, and slowly a knowing, impish smile tugged at the left corner of his mouth, pulling it into a wide crooked grin. He winked at his former self.
Then he turned back, still grinning as if nothing had happened, and released the handbrake. Groaning, the time rotor set into motion.
~O~
The familiar wheezing sound of the TARDIS' machines filled their ears, and then the ship dematerialized. Literally. It vanished around them, leaving them behind. Suddenly, Donna and the Doctor crouched not behind a wall but in a square-shaped hole in the sand on a hot planet.
Surprised, Donna looked up, but had no chance to say anything, because just a few moments later the wheezing sounded again and the TARDIS solidified around them, once more. She closed her eyes as it stirred up the sand in the process. When she opened them again, she was greeted by a more than welcome sight: Mighty columns, lots of space, a grown, coral-like structure. Relief flooded her like a wave.
"Aw!" the Doctor exclaimed enthusiastically. "My beautiful ship!"
He jumped to the console and stroked it lovingly.
"We're back!" Donna stated the obvious in wonder.
"Strictly speaking it's the TARDIS who's back, but yeah, we're back," he beamed. "I'm brilliant, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are!" Donna exclaimed joyously.
She put his coat onto one of the supporting beams and hurried up to the Doctor to hug him fiercely. Grinning, he hugged her back.
"How did you do this?" she asked. "I thought we couldn't reach your TARDIS."
"Well," he said. "We couldn't reach it in person. But certain means of communication can. Just the way I had intended to steer it back – which is a bit more complicated, since it requires some advanced, precise remote-controlling techniques via…"
"It's me you're talking to," Donna interrupted dryly.
That deadened the Doctor's exuberant enthusiasm a bit, and sighing he settled for a more straightforward explanation,
"I sent her a signal, triggered by the departure of the other TARDIS, which told her the danger was over, she can come back. And so she did, good girl. Shall we set off then, too?"
"Yeah." Donna heaved a sigh from the bottom of her heart, standing back a little to allow the Doctor to circle the console in his usual wild, yet well rehearsed dance. After a few moments of observation, she added, "The voice of your future self sounded strange, though. A shame I couldn't take a proper look. I think you'd even changed your clothes, eventually."
Instead of a flippant remark, the Doctor paused and threw her an almost identical knowing smile as he had received earlier, just with his mouth slightly open, tongue pressed against his upper teeth. Donna recognized that look and knew she wouldn't get more of an answer, but for compensation, another exciting trip was waiting for her. She sighed again, but then, some things were worth to wait for until it was time they were revealed. The Doctor paused an additional dramatic second to get her full attention, then released the handbrake with a grand gesture. And the TARDIS plunged noisily into the time vortex. Into their next adventure.
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the end
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