Author's note: This is chapter one of what i have planned for 5 chapters in total, somewhere around 50,000 words by the end i think. The chapter title will make sense in a later chapter, and i even made myself cry with that one to be honest. If you have read any of my other works, you'll know this is my thing. If i don't have your guts wrenching by the end of the read i feel i have not done my job properly as an author. This work is inspired by the beautifully written poem 'Immortality' by Clare Harner. I listened to Hear you me by Jimmy eat world while i wrote. If grief and the tragic romance of death are hard for you to deal with, this work probably won't be your cup of tea kind reader. (Additionally if you didn't bother to check this is an M/M if you're against it just go somewhere else please) without further ado i hope you enjoy, and if you do leave some kudos or a comment, i love to hear from my readers.
Summary: Naruto thought of his life in 2 distinct ways. There was before Sasuke, which was all twisty knots of confusion and loneliness. Then there was during Sasuke, and even the bad parts were good. How could Naruto ever face a world after Sasuke?
Do not stand
By my grave, and weep.
I am not there,
I do not sleep—
I am the thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints in snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle, autumn rain.
As you awake with morning's hush,
I am the swift, up-flinging rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight,
I am the day transcending night.
Do not stand
By my grave, and cry—
I am not there,
I did not die.
.
.
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Ch. 1 Reuniting
~During~
It was October. Naruto hated October. Nothing good ever happened in October. It was the month he'd been born with a demon being sealed inside him the very day of his birth, the same month his parents died, the same month the demon in him had been stolen and the process nearly killed him, and it was the same month the war had taken place in. If Naruto knew nothing else it was the best way to make it through this accursed month was to get hammered. It would be easier to do if everyone could just leave him the hell alone, but they probably never would. Not now after the war. Naruto had wanted to be the hero of the war, right up until after it ended when he realized what it really meant to be a war hero. He had spent his youth glorifying the Ninja that fought for and defended Konoha, the price of them being hailed as heroes wasn't something Naruto's 12 year old self could have ever understood.
The price of being a hero was this: death. Neji died, Tenten died, Ino died, Kiba died, Choji died, Shino died, and countless others who Naruto never had the chance to meet. All that death, and they still called Naruto a hero. If Naruto had known the price he'd pay for Konoha to praise and hail him as their hero he'd have never paid it. Maybe things could have been different if Naruto hadn't been so naive maybe Neji and Tenten would have ended up married, maybe Ino would have ran the hospital, or maybe Kiba would have had the time to make peace with his family. No none of it could ever happen now, and Naruto hadn't saved them and so to him, he was anything but a hero. The bottom line was alcohol was the only way to make it passed October.
It had been 2 years, since the war ended. This year was the second annual remembrance day. Konoha decided to hold a celebration in honor of all of their late 'Heroes' after the wars conclusion. People stood at a podium and gave speeches for ninja they never knew, they raised glasses and sipped champagne, as if any of it mattered. None of the celebration did any good for the people who died 2 years back, and it still wouldn't make a difference this year either.
Kakashi had twisted his arm to get him to make an appearance again this year. Something about the village needing to maintain their image as a powerhouse. Whatever. Naruto had thrown his headband in the trash, and stepped down from active duty months ago. Kakashi just didn't want people to know it yet.
During another mind numbing speech Naruto hadn't bothered to listen to he found the bar, and procured another drink. He moved around the crowds nursing his cup, and spotted salvation in the outdoor patio to the side of the room. It was where he spent the evening last year, and where he planned to again this year. As he slid the glass door back in place behind him he saw him there leaning over the railing.
Sasuke.
His face was devoid of any emotion, and he had a cigarette between his lips as he looked out over the village. He looked much the same as Naruto remembered him, right down to his fancy clothes and the the heavy golden medallion at his throat. Naruto couldn't recall a time when Sasuke hadn't worn the necklace.
"Sasuke?" Naruto said surprised and annoyed and drunk.
"Naruto." Sasuke barely spared him a glance.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Naruto demanded.
The last time he'd seen Sasuke was 2 years back the very second the war concluded. He ran off with Orochimaru before Naruto even had a chance to say anything to him. He sent regular messages to Kakashi so Naruto knew he was alive, but as far as Naruto could tell Sasuke hadn't any interest in Konoha. He hadn't bothered to turn up at the first remembrance day after all, and Naruto had assumed he never would.
"Get lost." Sasuke murmured before taking another slow drag of his cigarette. Naruto watched as he exhaled and the smoke from his lungs blew out into the night's sky.
The smart thing to do Naruto knew, would be to get lost. To go right back inside and away from him, both of them staying the hell away from each other the rest of the evening. But like most of everyone constantly told him, he was an idiot. "Sakura will be pissed if you give yourself cancer."
Sasuke's lip curled up into a small sneer. "Sakura isn't my problem." He said coldly, and it made Naruto want to knock his lights out.
Naruto had never been able to hate Sasuke, but after everything he put team 7 through Naruto didn't much like him anymore.
Years of Naruto pounding the pavements in pursuit of his wayward teammate had amounted to absolutely nothing. Sasuke showed up for the war after 5 years as a rogue, ensured the village his brother died to protect didn't fall, and then he fucked right back off away from Naruto without so much as a 'Goodbye.' By all accounts Sasuke didn't give one damn about any member of team 7, and probably especially he didn't care about Naruto.
It was always Naruto's anger that got the best of him, and Sasuke used to be the best outlet for it. Arguing with Sasuke had always made his blood boil, his body shake and it left him wonderfully breathlessly alive.
"You're still a giant ass i see." Naruto dared to edge closer to Sasuke with his free hand pointing at him accusingly.
Sasuke dropped his cigarette, and snuffed it out with the bottom of his shoe. "Who the fuck asked your opinion?" His sentiment was driven home with a shove at Naruto's chest, that made him spill some of his drink on the button up he was wearing.
That did it.
Now Naruto was pissed.
Then Naruto was throwing his entire body at Sasuke. His free arm soared through the air aiming for Sasuke's face, and spectacularly missed it's mark. His drink glass smashed against the floor, the bits of it made tinkling sounds as some of it slid over the edge of the patio. Naruto would love to blame his being drunk as the cause for his lack of skill, but it was more likely a side effect of having avoided the training grounds for far to long. Sasuke dodged his attack with ease, and Naruto fell against him knocking them both to the ground in the scuffle. As Sasuke's back hit the hard cement of the patio Naruto toppled onto him, and then their mouths smashed together.
'Not again.' Naruto thought as both he and Sasuke stopped all movement the second their lips made contact.
It was either a second or a century they were laid out in stunned silence. However long it was didn't really matter, because it was the longest moment of Naruto's entire life. It wasn't like the times before when they were tiny little genin, those times there hadn't been any heat behind it. But this time it was a swirling pit of flames in Naruto's stomach and it was all consuming. So the very millisecond Sasuke relaxed under him, and he sighed into the kiss Naruto took it as consent.
The second kiss was on purpose. Naruto ran his tongue against Sasuke's bottom lip. Sasuke's lips against his own were delicate, and inviting. Then someone's arm was wandering between them, and shirts were being pulled and grasped. He lost count of the times their lips met. Naruto was breathing harder, faster. Then when he opened his mouth to further the contact, Naruto's eyes rolled back into his head at the feel of Sasuke curling his tongue into Naruto's mouth. It was the feel of Sasuke's thigh between his own legs that had Naruto uttering the single most insane sentence he had ever put together.
"Come back to my place?"
Sasuke pulled back briefly to search Naruto's face, and whatever he found there had him agreeing. "Okay."
Then Naruto was pushing to stand so they could make their way out of the stupid party. Sasuke rolled his eyes, and pulled him back over close. Naruto watched as his sharingan came to life, all red and black pinwheels. In an instant Naruto's reality tilted and whirled and spun. When it stopped they were falling onto Naruto's bed, in his apartment.
"Fuck, i forgot you could do that." Naruto blurted out. Then Sasuke got a pleased, over cocky look on his face and Naruto went back for more.
They fumbled with belts, shoes, and ties. Searing kisses were exchanged in between each touch of fervor. Their clothes landed in scattered piles around the room. Naruto grabbed at his hips, his ribs anything and everything. Sasuke was all muscle, and unwavering bone. It drove him wild. Sasuke drove him wild.
Sasuke's long fingers skated across his collarbones and Naruto couldn't stand it anymore. He needed more. He slipped a hand down, and cupped Sasuke's cock giving a single gentle tug. Then Sasuke gasped in pleasure, and rolled over on top of him in the same heartbeat. They rolled their hips together, dragging their lengths against one another until they were both aching and purple.
Naruto felt so emboldened by what they were doing he dared to run his fingers over the smooth surface of Sasuke's necklace as it hung down between them. It made him shiver when Sasuke allowed it. Naruto had fantasized about touching that necklace for years, but any of the times they'd been close enough as kids Naruto knew better than to try his luck. Naruto grinned into Sasuke's chest at his private victory.
When they got going Sasuke was anything but gentle about it. He rammed himself into Naruto without warning, and it made his eyes water from the stinging burn. His fingers twisted in the sheets desperately as he became determined not to cry out and give that bastard the satisfaction. The burning subsided after several thrusts, and by then Naruto was clutching at Sasuke as he spurned him on to go deeper, harder. It felt good. So very good. But dammit of course Sasuke would have to be exceptionally good at this to, Naruto thought as he took everything Sasuke would give. Naruto couldn't stop the sounds that came out of him, that sounded practically like purrs. He lost himself to the insanely pleasurable sensations with every glide of skin.
Then Naruto ruined it by opening his eyes. Sasuke was watching him with a look that was to satisfied for Naruto's liking. He didn't know if he could do this with Sasuke looking at him like that, so he pulled back.
"Don't want to see you- turning over." Slipped out of his mouth and at that exact moment the satisfied look on Sasuke's face fell away, and turned into a look of such extraordinary loathing that it made Naruto go entirely still.
As Sasuke curled his hand around Naruto's throat and applied light pressure, his alcohol flooded brain recognized he had just taken a misstep. A grievous misstep for which he probably would not be getting laid for after all.
Sasuke put them nose to nose. "You don't get to do that." He ground out. "Not with me." His fingers dug into Naruto's skin painfully. "You don't get to close your eyes and pretend it's anyone else that's fucking you because it isn't. It's me." Naruto smelled the cigarette ash on him, and it made him want to go back for another taste. "Forget it. I'll just leave."
Before Sasuke had a chance to disentangle himself, Naruto latched onto him even tighter than before. He pulled him by the medallion at his neck with one hand, and used the other to wrap around the back of his neck. "No." His voice was small. "Please fuck me." His voice was louder more commanding. "I want you to fuck me, Sasuke." He let his legs fall open even wider between them.
"I can't stand you." Sasuke declared glaring down at him.
"I really don't like you." Naruto answered.
Naruto groaned when Sasuke thrust back into him again. Sasuke's hand stayed at his throat, but the pressure had gone entirely slack. Naruto arched into him, and Sasuke bit at his lips savagely. Every thrust built up more of the delicious coiling sensation in his groin, and Naruto chased after the pleasure with everything he had. For several minutes they were nothing but cloying hands, and sharp teeth. Sasuke moaned into Naruto's neck and then starbursts flooded his vision. White hot pleasure soaked into him on a cellular level as Sasuke continued to chase his own bliss. Naruto went slack with his itch having been scratched. Seconds later Naruto felt Sasuke's come spurt into him, and his muscles trembled against his own.
Naruto was already more than overspent, things were getting hazier. He let his head fall back against the fluffiest of all his bed pillows. Tired from the day, tired from the alcohol, and tired from the sex it was a trifecta lulling him into slumber. He winced when Sasuke pulled out of him. He watched Sasuke gather his clothes back up from the floor, as he fought to keep his eyes open. The last image he saw before drifting off, was of long fingers rebuttoning a shirt.
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~After~
Naruto woke up in a haze. His brain was foggy, and he fought for a moment to ground himself. He was alone in his bed, and he listened for the scuffle of shoes at the door or perhaps the clink of metal against metal as it was sharpened. Not so much as the crinkle of a fresh pack of cigarettes as they were being opened. How strange.
Naruto jerked up suddenly, because their apartment was never this quiet and- and Sasuke's hoodie is balled up in his hands and- and there was a bottle of sleeping pills next to a shattered mirror across the room as if they'd been thrown and- and now Naruto remembered.
His whole body had begun to shake out of his control.
Don't scream, he thought.
Any second now he lied to himself. Any second now Sasuke would walk through that door, and say "Hey." In that voice he only used for Naruto. Any second now Sasuke would join him in bed. Any second now Sasuke would tell him how much he missed him while he was away for his mission.
Don't scream.
ANY SECOND NOW. Naruto began to rock back and fourth in the bed clinging to the gathering of cotton in his hands. Any second now Sasuke would kiss him until they both lost their breath.
Don't scream.
Any second now everything would be warm and familiar and it would all make sense again. Like a bowl of ichiraku or one of the scarves Hinata knitted for him that Sasuke threatened a hundred times to set on fire.
Naruto finally screamed when he brought the hoodie to his face and inhaled. It was all musk, and cigarette smoke. It was all he had left.
.
.
.
~During~
"Hey," Naruto hesitated awkwardly when Sasuke looked up at him "there." He forced his hand, he put up in an effort to wave, down by his side feeling lame.
Sasuke's outward appearance looked relaxed enough but his eyes were guarded. He was perched at the end of one of the couches in the locker room the Jonin trainees used, he was sharpening a dull kunai. He had on a set of standard issued gear that Naruto felt didn't do his body any justice. Naruto saw the golden chain peeking out from under all the black cloth. Jewelry wasn't allowed during training but good luck to anyone that wanted to enforce that on Sasuke. There were other recruits scattered around the room. Some of them were busy dressing, and several of them within earshot.
Naruto had managed to partly bully, and partly bribe Kakashi into spilling what he knew about Sasuke's return to Konoha. It wasn't that Naruto was offended by Sasuke's quick exit from their night of unplanned passion, no Naruto had one night stands in the past. That wasn't a big deal. What pissed him off was Sasuke's avoidance of him in the days that followed.
Naruto rationalized they should at least talk about what happened between them after the remembrance celebration, if only to make any others they saw each other at in the future less awkward. So Naruto had tried to locate him using his chakra, only to discover Sasuke was keeping it suppressed. He didn't want Naruto to find him.
It had cost Naruto a handful of his godfather's unpublished works, but Kakashi dished regardless of Naruto's current status of: Non active.
Sasuke came back in order to make Jonin. After the war Sasuke received a full pardon in respect of what happened to Itachi, and in his 2 year absence Kakashi kept him listed as non active but he was still a part of Konoha's roster. Sasuke was as eligible as Naruto to become Jonin. Though Naruto hadn't bothered with the effort the task of ranking up would be, he had already been disillusioned by the life of a shinobi by that point, he would just as well wipe his ass with Kakashi's Hokage robes as he would toilet paper.
When Naruto asked Kakashi the biggest question of all, he didn't get an answer. "Why now?" Why was Sasuke choosing now to come back to the village, of all the times before when Naruto had chased after him in Orochimaru's scary ass hideouts, of all the times after the war had ended and Sasuke was more than welcome home.
What Naruto would have given for Sasuke to have come home with him any of the times their paths crossed as teenagers. What he would have given for just 2 words from him after they fought side by side in the war. Why the fuck did he have to come home now, after Naruto had already made peace with his being gone? Why had he come home and fucked Naruto, then avoided him like the absolute plague?
Well today Naruto wanted answers, and luckily their old sensei had given Naruto Sasuke's itinerary for the day. Today was the start of the Jonin training course, and Sasuke wasn't likely to miss it. The crack of dawn came and for the first time in months Naruto slid out of bed, and pulled on his old sweats along with his orange scarf from Hinata and headed down to the training grounds. It didn't take long at all for Sasuke to show up, and Naruto followed him into the locker room. One of the laziest traps Naruto had ever set to be fair, but he wasn't one to be picky.
"Something i can help you with?" Sasuke asked warily his eyes darting around the room. "Naruto." Anyone else would have thought his voice was polite, but Naruto heard the undercurrent of annoyance in it.
So that's how it was huh? Naruto crossed his arms. "Look i just wanted to talk about-"
Sasuke had thrown his kunai down with a clatter, and the entirety of the locker room if they hadn't been looking, were looking now saw as Sasuke dragged Naruto by the scruff of his hoodie back outside.
Sasuke dragged him to a corner of the building with low foot traffic and where they weren't likely to be heard. "About how i fucked you?" Sasuke asked perfectly picking up their conversation, with all the previous politeness despite the vulgar phrasing.
"Uhhhmm.." Naruto floundered.
"You could have just saved yourself a trip out here, because there's nothing to talk about."
Sasuke wasn't even looking in his direction, he was looking passed him over his shoulder like Naruto wasn't even standing there. "Well if I didn't know any better i'd ask what hole it was that you just crawled out of, because where i- where we both come from- what we did, that's definitely something to talk about at least once."
"What did you expect? I'd stick around and ask if you'd rather be the big or the little spoon?" Sasuke asked callously. "Sorry I don't cuddle after."
Naruto pulled his scarf tighter around himself. "No that's not-" Naruto struggled to talk around the blush that was slowly creeping up his neck. "I don't care that you left after. I just didn't care for the even colder than before shoulder you sent my way. Like after that I suddenly wasn't good enough to share the same air as you any more?" Naruto shoved both his hands deep into his pockets for fear he might try to take a swing at him again. "Fuck you, Sasuke."
Sasuke snorted, and it was a good thing he had put his hands away because he would have definitely taken a swing at him for that. "We were drunk, then we had sex, stop blowing this out of proportion."
"Blow this out of proportion?!" Naruto fumed. "You. You told me I couldn't pretend it was anyone else!"
Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "How did i know you'd be like this? I mean seriously believing the first person who spreads your legs is your soul mate or whatever it's pathetic. Grow up Naruto."
"You were not my FIRST." He felt it was imperative he made that known. Naruto held no such notions, he simply fucked who he liked to. The blush had finally spread to Naruto's cheeks, and he tried in vain to pull the scarf up as much as possible to hide it. There was a tiny jerk of Sasuke's mouth downward and then it was instantly gone. "I just think if we never talk about it, it's going to make those remembrance day gatherings more awful every year."
"Is that all?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're worried over some awkward future interaction at parties i never plan to go to again. Problem solved boy wonder."
"So what? You just planned to never speak to me again?"
"Pretty much."
"Sasuke."
Then Sasuke said 2 final sentences. The first one Naruto ignored, it was the second one that felt like a swift kick to his kidneys.
"We were both plastered, let it go. It's not like it meant anything."
Then right when Naruto was about to crack and give into his 'pummel Sasuke into oblivion' plan, they were interrupted.
"Oh hell yeah, Naruto!" It was Shikamaru Nara. "Naruto, is that you?"
It took Naruto every fiber of his being to turn around and force a shoddy excuse for a smile onto his face.
"Hey, Shika. What's kicking man?" Naruto turned entirely away from Sasuke. Shikamaru clapped Naruto on the back in greeting.
"Nothing much-" Shikamaru spotted Sasuke behind him. "oh woah I didn't know you guys were hanging out together again," He gave Naruto a wide smile. "this is giving me some serious deja vu."
"We aren't." Sasuke deadpanned, and Naruto nearly choked on his own spit. That guy wouldn't be able to find subtlety if he was trapped in a cardboard box with it.
"Hehe." Naruto chuckled out nervously compensating for Sasuke, and his lack of ability to read a situation. "We uh- yeah- we just sort of ran into each other...here." Then Naruto's eyes drifted over to the building, idiot he cursed himself. Just ran into each other at the locker rooms while Naruto wasn't even on active orders. Kakashi would have told Shikamaru Naruto stepped down by now he was sure. Of all the stupid-
"Oh yeah makes sense." Shikamaru agreed. Which led Naruto to wonder 'It does?!'
Shikamaru shifted in front of him, and Naruto could tell having the Uchiha's eyes on him made Shikamaru nervous.
"Well yeah, i mean you're both here for the Jonin training before the exams right? Makes sense you'd run into each other around here eventually."
Naruto turned only slightly because for whatever reason he couldn't resist seeing what exactly Sasuke made of what Shikamaru had to say. Naruto hadn't told Sasuke anything about the time they'd been apart. So when Sasuke gave him that imperious little smirk, Naruto knew that Sasuke knew, that Naruto wasn't about to start gunning to make Jonin. Which begged the question 'how?' did he know that. The question Naruto easily answered himself. Sasuke had asked. Sasuke had taken some part of his day of his own free time to seek out someone, and pump them for information on Naruto specifically. This specific someone had to know Naruto well enough to know that his dream of being Hokage was dead. Sasuke had cared enough or at the very least been curious enough to want to know what Naruto had been up to. That didn't mean nothing to Naruto.
Naruto smiled despite himself. "Yeah, Shikamaru. That's exactly what i'm here for."
"Awesome. This training course just became so much less of a drag, you know." Shikamaru was already a jonin and so he would end up as an instructor at some point, but for some reason Naruto didn't understand Kakashi had kept him in the dark about his resignation months back. "Can't play favorites, but i gotta say i'm thrilled i'll be working with the leafs pride and joy again." Shikamaru ruffled Naruto's hair, then the communicator at his hip went off. "Sorry, i gotta head out and handle this before the assembly starts, it was so good to see you Naruto." Then as an after thought. "You to Sasuke." Then Shikamaru ran off into the distance to whatever emergency had popped up.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? You aren't on active duty or registered for the Jonin training." Sasuke walked to stand in front of Naruto.
"Neither were you a few days ago." Naruto pointed out.
"Yeah but i actually want to become Jonin. You don't. You quit when you started to resent the life."
"Maybe i've found new inspiration." Naruto used the toe of his shoe to kick at the ground. He hadn't put on his best shoes this morning, and he was going to regret it by the days end that was for sure. Jonin training wasn't any kind of joke. Naruto would be lucky if all of the muscles in his body didn't liquefy by the end of the day. "It's not like it means anything." He said throwing back Sasuke's words. "Hell i might even have some fun throwing around kunai and summoning shadow clones again."
This practice was going to hurt like a bitch, Naruto's chakra reserves had shrunken only slightly in the time since he had traded in his holster pack for a bottle of jack Daniels. He wasn't in the best shape of his life, but he'd get there. Growing up Sasuke had always been the pillar by which Naruto marked himself and his own growth, and Sasuke would be that for him again for Jonin training.
"Whatever, loser." Sasuke garbled out as he left.
Naruto expected yes, he would have some fun during training, at Sasuke's expense. Naruto guessed it was some form of jealously, or a left over desire to prove himself to Sasuke from their days in the kiddie pool, that made him decide to do the Jonin training course. Whatever it was he couldn't allow Sasuke to go on ignoring his existence, the Jonin course was just a happy excuse to shove himself down Sasuke's throat repeatedly.
2 hours later when the assembly had gathered, and Kakashi made his rounds circling the new trainees he didn't say a single word he only smiled to find Naruto in his sweats and scarf amongst them.
When his legs were stiff, and aching at the end of the first day of training Naruto found a stack of paperwork in his mailbox. Forms for the Jonin training course, and a shiny new badge that listed him as 'Active' next to status type.
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.
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~After~
Naruto tried to eat his ramen he really had, but after 2 bites he looked down and realized it was the bowl that was Sasuke's favorite. Sai had gifted it to Naruto as what they never were quite sure was an honest gift or joke. It was bright orange around the rim, but if you flipped it over to the underside theres's a hand painted picture of Naruto mostly nude with only a leaf to cover up his bits. Sasuke had laughed so hard he cried the first time he saw it. There was a brief period where Sasuke refused to eat out of anything else because he enjoyed telling the same joke to Naruto again, and again.
'I'll have this Naruto for now.' His dark eyes would then gaze over at the living breathing Naruto hungrily. 'Then i think a different Naruto for dessert.'
Naruto lost his appetite when he replayed the joke in his head. Sasuke always nailed that joke. People never thought Sasuke was funny, that he was to brooding or dark to tell a joke properly, but Naruto knew. He knew how funny he could be, when he let loose.
Naruto sat on the couch to eat. Sasuke never liked it when he did that. Sasuke was raised with parents (however briefly) that taught him to eat at a table like good parents do. Just Naruto can't sit at that table they bought together anymore. Sasuke's kunai knives are laid out across the table he'd been sharpening them before. Sasuke had told Naruto over and over when they were kids not to touch his kunai. Sasuke was particular about them. His family had a saying apparently. "You only share kunai with the people you love." Naruto thought it was dumb the first time he had heard it. Even so Naruto came to understand that every time Sasuke filled his pack up with supplies and deadly sharp kunai, it was simply how Sasuke said 'I love you.'
Naruto left his ramen abandoned on the coffee table next to the couch. He had to get out of the apartment before he did something incredibly stupid like move the kunai off the table. Everything had to stay the same. Sasuke's clothes had to stay hung up in their closet, his favorite hoodie had to stay on their bed, his never ending cartons of cigarettes had to stay scattered throughout the house so Naruto could stumble across them at all hours of the day and smile, his shoes had to stay by the door, and if Sakura tried to throw out Sasuke's hair gel from under the sink again Naruto might actually lose it on her. Didn't she understand? Didn't she see these are the only worldly possessions Sasuke left behind. It was all Naruto had left. It all had to stay exactly the same as Sasuke left it. Naruto walked passed the kitchen table to get dressed he pulled out whatever clothes were nearest. Lastly he pulled out the now very worn orange scarf, it was starting to fray at the ends. It was getting colder in Konoha Naruto thought to himself, but then he thought maybe the freezing cold wrapped around him at all hours of the day despite blankets or jackets had nothing to do with the weather at all.
He didn't know where he was headed. He didn't used to have to know, Sasuke always did. He frowned when he realized it took him much longer to travel now to. There would be no more portal rides. Naruto placed the spare key under the cement frog by the front door, like they always did when they stepped out. Just in case one of them needed it.
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~During~
October was the absolute pits. It wasn't enough that Naruto was enduring physical pain each and everyday due to the rigorous training course required to be Jonin. No he had to deal with the emotional pain on top of it. Each day when he walked into the building Konoha used for the trainees it felt like a white hot knife was stuck into his chest. Someone had decided the entrance of the building needed some window dressings for whatever reason. So when the sun was barely up with his duffle slung over one shoulder, and his coffee burning his palm Naruto had to look at the faces of all of his dead friends. Large photographs had been printed of all the fallen heroes. Neji. Ino. Tenten. Kiba. Choji. Shino. They were hung up in frames of silver, their smiles immortalized forever on top of stretched canvas. The first time he saw the memorial Naruto had come to a complete stop and the guy who was walking behind him fell to the ground to avoid running into Naruto's back. He stared at the photos so long he would have been late to class if it hadn't been for Shikamaru showing up, and gently steering him away with a frown that matched his own. Shikamaru understood. He lost them all to. Half of the Konoha 12 were dead before they could have had their first sip of legal alcohol.
Naruto hated that this was how Konoha remembered them. He didn't want to remember Tenten dressed in her uniform with a manufactured smile, and the date of her death scribbled below it. Naruto wanted to remember the way she danced when they completed an especially difficult mission, and the way she wove pink ribbons throughout her hair just to pass the time on stake outs. The frame with her trapped behind an 8x8 pane of glass was so impersonal it burned.
He couldn't stand how the pictures made him think of all of their funerals. He'd had to attend so many back to back after the war they seemed to blur together in his mind. Naruto vowed a long time ago he'd never attend another funeral so long as he lived.
Seeing the photos depressed Naruto so much that he started entering through one of the windows in the back of the building. All just so he could avoid the haunting eyes of Neji Hyuga that seemed to follow him whichever way he turned.
"Dude, you good?" Shikamaru elbowed him underneath the booth they were sitting in, breaking Naruto out of his stupor.
"Yeah. Yeah." Naruto forced what he hoped was a convincing smile. "Sorry just thinking."
Naruto drained the last of his beer mug, and stood up. "I'm gonna grab another, you want?" He jerked his thumb towards the bar. "My treat."
"No." Shikamaru shook his head looking Naruto up and down like he was looking for a wound. "I'm good."
"Suit yourself."
The room spun a little as Naruto walked. He'd already had 3 no 4 drinks? It didn't matter he just needed another one so he could get the dead out of his head for a little while.
It was the end of another week of the course, and Naruto's class had taken to grabbing beers together to celebrate each week's end. Shikamaru always tagged along, and kept Naruto company for which he would be eternally grateful. The people in class could get on Naruto's nerves pretty easily. They looked at him like he was some all knowing miracle maker. 'Tell us about the war, please.' They begged. 'Why didn't you go for Jonin before now?' They would demand to know. 'You're so cool!' They would tell him after he completed most of the assigned tasks with practiced ease. Shikamaru held them all at bay, being the Hokage's assistant they tended to give him a wide berth. Shikamaru had picked up on his disinterest in being the classes pet war hero, he had made it a point to sit as close to Naruto as possible when they ended up together. It made Naruto feel a twinge of guilt for being so distant with Shikamaru the passed 2 years, but to be fair Naruto had been that way with everyone even Sakura.
Naruto made it to the bar, and this time asked for a whisky. He was just turning back to return to his seat with Shikamaru when he saw a flash of dark hair.
Naruto followed on instinct. Sasuke ducked into the back alcove passed the bathrooms then he shoved the exit door open. Naruto had barely caught up when the door was just closing. When he stepped into the alleyway Naruto lost his balance momentarily and had to steady himself against the door as his drink sloshed. There was Sasuke cigarette freshly lit watching Naruto make a fool of himself.
"Wanna take another swing at me?" Sasuke asked with his lip half curled around the cigarette, and his hand gliding against his hair to smooth it back into place.
Sasuke had mostly done as what he admitted to Naruto he'd intended to do. He hadn't spoken to him unless absolutely necessary during training. Which had amounted to only once when Sasuke had to pass out their books, and he called Naruto's name with all the enthusiasm of a robot.
Sasuke sat at the very back of the classroom ever the lone wolf, and Naruto sat as close to where Shikamaru sat as was possible near the front. Sasuke held a stony veil of professionalism with Naruto when anyone was near, but when no one was looking Naruto felt 2 piercing dark eyes boring into the back of his head. Good. That was what Naruto wanted. It was why he was putting himself through this course to force Sasuke to look at him, to make Sasuke eat his words. 'It's not like it meant anything.' Played on a loop in Naruto's head over and over, until his teeth ached from how hard he was clenching them. He would show Sasuke.
Punching Sasuke was an alluring idea, but even that wouldn't quiet Naruto's mind tonight. He needed something else from him. So Naruto just shook his head as he sat his whisky down on the pavement, and shortened the distance between them. He leaned his head out and half expected Sasuke would be the one to deck him, but was pleased to find instead Sasuke met his lips half way. Sasuke fisted a hand in his t shirt, and yanked him up against his chest. They kissed over and over, Naruto tasted the liquor on Sasuke's own tongue. They were both drunk. Again.
"Take us back to my place?" Naruto asked when Sasuke flicked his barely smoked cigarette to the ground, and scraped his foot over it.
Sasuke carded his fingers through Naruto's hair, and tugged. "Yes." For the first time in days Naruto forgot that there had ever been a war.
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~After~
Naruto found himself in the older district in Konoha. It was the part of the city that was the oldest, and dates back to the very beginning of the village. Some of the buildings were in ruin and some were only in mild decay.
People milled around him in all forms. Men, women. Children on their way to school. Naruto could distinguish the tourists form the residents and that got him to smile for a bit.
This part of the village wasn't as busy anymore, not like the shiny new parts of Konoha. Naruto had decided on this area for that single reason. He wanted to be left alone, but he didn't want to be alone. The quiet was the worst part of this.
Not having finished his ramen from earlier his stomach growled and he purchased a coffee and a bagel. This area had shops, and small booths they were mostly ran by families, and Naruto liked that the items sold around here had that special touch. The one that only came from a person who loved what they did. Like the scarf Hinata made for him. Every time he wore it, he thought of her, and what she had done for him after the war.
What he had after the war with Hinata wasn't love. It was undying friendship. Loyalty that went above and beyond all of his expectations. Hinata had given Naruto an important part of herself, in order to save him from himself. Naruto remembered what an absolute mess he was after the war concluded. His grief was a raging storm of misery, and he took it out on anyone who got to close. Sasuke wasn't even around anymore to be the outlet for his anger. That was perhaps what led Hinata Hyuga to share Naruto's bed that first time. Pity. Both of her teammates were dead, but Naruto's were alive and well. Only one didn't want to see him, and the other Naruto didn't want to see. Hinata saw Naruto begin to pull back from everyone, and after awhile he figured she'd had enough of his sulking. If Hinata hadn't started screwing his brains out Naruto wanted to believe he wouldn't have actually sunk so low as to kill himself that October but thanks to her he never had to find out. Hinata gave him an outlet. For all of his grief, and anger. If nothing else Naruto gained his will to live back just in order to reach that pinnacle of pleasure with her in between his sheets.
Hinata did it for her to though, being with Naruto was a break from her own grief as well as his. She called him 'Shino.' once when they were messing around, and though they never spoke of it after Naruto swore he'd never forget that sudden far off look in Hinata's eyes as he slid into her. Naruto wasn't who she really wanted, and that was okay with him. They both needed to use each other back then. Neither of them knew any other way to stop the violence that grief left in it's wake, other than screwing it away.
Hinata got married the year after that, she had a kid now that Naruto had never met. Naruto sometimes lied in bed at night wondering if Hinata had ever truly moved on from Shino, or was her new husband merely another stand in like Naruto had been?
Naruto thought he was dealing with everything rather well at least in comparison to how he was after the war. After he lost his friends Naruto punched at walls until his knuckles were bloodied, he guzzled down whatever alcohol he could get his hands on and he drank it until he threw up, he had trained from sun up to sun down until he could barely even move. All in an attempt to silence his mind, to still the aching hole in his chest from the losses he suffered. Naruto guessed he must have gotten used to death. Somewhere between all of the funerals, and the bullshit memorials he became desensitized to it. He was much better at handling grief now, and he's relieved it won't be like before.
Sasuke was never coming back but Naruto was fine.
It doesn't dawn on Naruto until he arrived back home, and came face to face with the kunai still on the kitchen table, that he's no better than before with grief. He just hadn't yet accepted Sasuke's death. He expected when it finally sunk in, it was going to mow him over like an 18 wheeler. It was going to fucking hurt, probably even more than before. It was exactly why Hinata let Naruto fuck her all those times, so she could escape the pounding devastation Naruto could feel threatening to break out of him at any second.
Naruto headed off in the direction of Sakura's home. She was the only other person who fought just as fiercely as he did for Sasuke through the years. She was the only other person who could probably recall the exact size and shape of Sasuke's most prized possession: his medallion. Now Naruto and her were the only people alive who understood the necklaces importance to Sasuke. Sakura was the only other person in the world who knew their stories, and Naruto wanted to be near her.
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~During~
Maybe Naruto was a masochist. That would explain why he kept showing up to Jonin training day after day. Forcing himself right in Sasuke's sights no matter how exhausted he was.
Naruto had been disappointed to find just how much his body had changed in the months he ignored training. Naruto didn't look out of shape, and he wasn't. He still better off than more than half of the class when it came to strength training or his running endurance. But. He was no where near what he had been at what he called his physical peek during the war. His legs had grown softer since, and lost some of their definition. His hand cramped up now when he threw to many kunai in a row. What frustrated him more than any of it was to find his chakra reserves were even more dismal than he thought previously. When someone went from using their chakra constantly to practically stopping their chakra use altogether it allowed the reserve to shrink from disuse. It would take Naruto months to build it back up to it's former shining glory. But he was more than up for the challenge. He had a goal now, and nothing stopped Naruto Uzumaki when he had a goal in mind.
As the masochist he was, he cornered Sasuke in the locker room after today's 5 mile run ended with Naruto being embarrassingly lapped by Sasuke twice. As he'd passed him Naruto swore he heard him mutter something but couldn't be entirely sure.
Sasuke had pinched the bridge of his nose and preemptively tried to cut Naruto off from having this conversation again. "We've already discussed it. It didn't mean anything." There it was again the same damn sentence Sasuke kept using when Naruto inevitably sought him out for this talk.
"Then why does it keep happening?"
Naruto and Sasuke had shared a total of 5 romps so far.
"Because you drink to much." Sasuke answered slinging some of the items from inside his locker into the pack on the floor. Naruto raised an unimpressed brow. "We drink to much." Sasuke clarified. "If it wasn't for the scotch-, neither of us are in our right mind when we're drunk, it never would have happened without the drinks."
"Maybe. Though has it crossed your mind that when we're drunk, it might just be the only time we let ourselves want it?"
Sasuke stopped shoveling his stuff around to stare at Naruto with a shocked look. It was the first time Naruto had outwardly admitted he might actually want to continue on with what they'd been doing with each other.
"Don't." Sasuke demanded. "Just don't."
"It wasn't nothing." Naruto insisted.
"You're wrong."
"Whatever. I'll just drop it. I'll leave you to it then."
"Thank God." Sasuke said relieved. "And hey Dead-last," Sasuke scowled using his old taunt from their playground days. "the next time you feel the need to discuss any feelings you might have, please do feel free to bother anyone else." Sasuke zipped up his pack with finality, and Naruto knew the conversation was over.
Naruto had only just gotten through his front door when it hit him. He called me Dead-last Naruto thought, as he locked the door behind him. It's what he had said to Naruto during the race to, he was positive. The implication of it hung around Naruto as he cooked his dinner. Then when he had his ramen sitting ready to eat in front of him Naruto smiled to himself. Sasuke hadn't been hiding behind the thin veneer of professionalism when he'd said it, no he had called Naruto Dead-last out of familiarity dare he even say fondness. Maybe i have to get through to him a different way, Naruto thought? Words were as good as going in the trash bin of Sasuke's brain. Maybe Naruto could show him, that it hadn't meant nothing. That what they were doing with each other wasn't nothing. Yes. He would show him.
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~After~
When Naruto meandered out of the apartment to grab his usual take away at Ichiraku, he hadn't had the heart to stop them when they added the second container. They hadn't heard yet, Naruto thought. They didn't know Sasuke was dead, and that there wasn't any point for the extra food. He couldn't bring himself to say the words, so he nodded numbly as the bag was placed in his hand.
He couldn't sit at the dining table. So he unpacked his to go order at the coffee table. He tried to find something to watch on television, but Sasuke was the one that usually picked the shows they watched and Naruto never cared what they watched. He just liked being there with Sasuke eating their Ichiraku, and watching one of those murder mystery shows Sasuke liked to binge. Naruto clicked the TV decidedly back off.
When Naruto sits on the couch something crinkled, and he dug his hand into the couch to find the source of the noise. Ah, another pack of Sasuke's cigs. There were stashes of them all over their apartment, Naruto had long given up nagging Sasuke on the matter. Naruto actually didn't mind after awhile of living together. It was like an easter egg hunt that never ended, Naruto never knew where he'd stumble across a carton.
Naruto cradled the carton in his hands, and they smelled like Sasuke. Ash and nicotine. He lost himself in the scent. Before he knew it his ramen was cold on the coffee table, and he curled into himself with the cigarettes clenched in his hands.
How many times, Naruto wondered. How many times had they sat together on this very couch? With Sasuke's fingertips gently raking through Naruto's hair, and Naruto absentmindedly drawing circles into Sasuke's chest. Had he taken it all for granted? Had he taken Sasuke, and his snooty mouth, and his cigarettes, and his (even bigger than Naruto's) temper for granted?
He tormented himself with this thought the rest of the night until he was so depleted he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.
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~During~
When the idea had first come to Naruto he hadn't liked Sasuke very much at all. He was still pretty caught up on their illustrious shared past, he hadn't yet let go of the years Sasuke's absence tormented him. He joined the training program merely as a way to give Sasuke the finger. The catalyst had really been the moment Naruto realized Sasuke had asked after him, he had cared enough to ask someone what Naruto had been up to. It had to mean something, and for some reason he wanted to prove it to Sasuke.
Then Naruto really sat down and thought about it, what was it about Sasuke that even got him so riled up. Sure he was a skilled ninja, but so was Naruto. Sasuke was by all accounts of anyone with a pulse very attractive, but Naruto thought he didn't look to bad himself. Why had it affected Naruto so much when Sasuke left the village? No one else had bothered to go the lengths Naruto had for him, not even Sakura. Why had Naruto felt his only course of action when Sasuke said 'It didn't mean anything.' was to become a jonin?
The answer was so glaringly obvious Naruto felt like a dimwit for not having realized sooner.
It pissed him off to hear Sasuke claim it didn't mean anything, because to Naruto it really had meant everything.
That first time they slept together had been the reconciliation Naruto had searched years for, and he hadn't even recognized it at the time. The joining of their two bodies, had been the moment they left the past behind them, and began anew.
Weeks passed by in a similar fashion. Naruto would find Sasuke after several drinks at the bar. They would go back to Naruto's place, and screw, both of them still incredibly drunk. After awhile Naruto no longer felt the need to seek Sasuke out and force a conversation they'd already had before. No Naruto let it be about the sex for a time, glad for what ever he could get from Sasuke.
The final week of training came, and Naruto had been feeling good. Better than he had in a long while. His body was nearly back to what it was in the glory days. Shikamaru and the other instructors they had throughout the course had arranged a final race for the trainees. To see who the fastest among them was at the end.
It was a way to pit Naruto against Sasuke. Halfway through the course and Naruto and Sasuke were right back into their roles as rivals. The people in class egged it on. Each week became about outdoing each other in some way, and Naruto struggled to keep up through a good portion of it. The instructors were kind of course once they realized Naruto wasn't a ninja God anymore, but Naruto saw the questions in their tight lipped smiles. 'What happened to the hero of the leaf? Kids let himself go.' Naruto didn't care about being the best per se, but he desperately wanted to be at Sasuke's level again.
When that start gun went off Naruto threw everything he had into that race. He couldn't let Sasuke leave him behind in the dust. Not again. Never again. Naruto ignored the blistering heat on his skin from the sun, the burning in his calves and the ache in his lungs. He just ran. He passed other trainees but they were nothing but blurs to him. The only thing he could see was the vision clear as crystal at the very head of the pack. Sasuke. Faster he forced himself. Then he was suddenly close enough to reach out and touch Sasuke's back.
"Don't think so Dead-last." Sasuke grunted at him and somehow he became even faster. That threw Naruto right back to genin days. He recalled those nostalgic days when Naruto and Sasuke shared lunches, bathed together in the river after training, and slept together under the stars on missions. When Naruto suddenly pushed out right beside Sasuke as they both ran like hell, it was Sasuke's 12 year old self that looked over at him grinning.
When it was over Naruto collapsed onto the ground panting right along with Sasuke who was also on the ground. People in the distance cheered, and Naruto vaguely picked Shikamaru's voice out from amongst them all. For a moment Naruto turned to look at Sasuke to figure out which of them had won, but then he didn't care because Sasuke was still grinning at him. "That was pretty good." Sasuke pushed himself to stand and extended his palm down to Naruto. "You know for the Dead-last." Sasuke tugged him up, and Naruto had to smother the grin that threatened to match Sasuke's. He couldn't smile though because he had finally realized he was in love with Sasuke Uchiha, and he probably had been for a long while.
So instead he shrugged and said "It didn't mean anything." Naruto was only slightly satisfied to watch Sasuke's face fall.
Naruto never intended to finish out the course. He thought he might rib Sasuke about for a bit, and then quit after he got bored. Only before he knew it they finally became Jonin. Naruto would have to change his status back to inactive soon, but at least for awhile the class gave him something to do. For awhile Sasuke had been forced to run as Naruto nipped at his heels, and pushed the both of them as far as they possibly could go.
It had all been a welcome distraction but Naruto needed to get back to his normal soon. He thanked Kakashi for letting him participate but told him he wasn't interested in going on missions anytime soon. If Kakashi was disappointed he hid it well, so he probably was.
Shikamaru had convinced him to come out for a final round of beers with their class. Naruto had been avoiding Sasuke pretty well in the days that followed since the race, but he wouldn't be able to avoid him tonight. Naruto would be lying if he said Sasuke actively seeking him out didn't give him the slightest thrill.
Naruto had turned down some light spar matches he knew Sasuke watched him during. Naruto took his lunch at varying times so Sasuke couldn't corner him. Sasuke even shoved a note on his desk as he walked passed before lecture began, but Naruto pretended not to see it. Naruto expected Sasuke was getting pretty desperate to make contact with him by the time Shikamaru told him Sasuke had asked if he still frequented Ichiraku and what times he liked to go there.
Before they went their separate ways and Sasuke went on to the life of a jonin Naruto had to prove it to himself as much as Sasuke. That yes it had meant something when they fucked, even if it didn't go anywhere after that.
Naruto hadn't given Sasuke even the slightest hint of acknowledgment since the race, it was all purposeful. Naruto wanted to see. He wanted to know if it went both ways. That if he suddenly stopped turning up around Sasuke all the time, would Sasuke in turn seek Naruto out? Naruto was pleased to find that yes, it did go both ways. Sasuke just couldn't admit it yet.
Naruto sat across from some of his fellow New jonin and nursed a glass of ice cold water. It hadn't been the alcohol. That was how it started, but it wasn't what kept them coming back to one another he was convinced.
Naruto didn't much like Sasuke, but he was damned if he wasn't also in love with the prick. Naruto peered across the room to the area Sasuke had been sitting at for the last half hour. Some brunette had been shooting her shot hoping to take Sasuke home. Which was wildly entertaining to Naruto who also wished he could spare her feelings and tell her she was barking up the wrong tree, if her only desire was to get laid. They hadn't had that talk yet, but Naruto was pretty confident in his assessment that Sasuke played for one team and one team alone.
The brunette finally cut her losses and dipped. Naruto kept his eyes locked on Sasuke's knowing he'd seeing him staring eventually. When he did Sasuke leered over at him his lips pursing slightly, a sure sign he was still pissy Naruto was dodging him. Naruto quirked up one brow flirtatiously and pushed back from the bar leaving his drink behind. 'Follow me.' He hoped Sasuke understood.
Naruto barely made it through the back door of the bar, before he was thrown up against the brick wall. Sasuke's strong arms encircled him immediately and began their downward exploration rather quicker than usual. Sasuke tasted like beer, and cigarette smoke.
"You've been avoiding me." Sasuke accused but didn't stop his assault of sharp nibbling at Naruto's collar bone.
Naruto laughed. "I've uh-i've been busy." He gasped out trying to ignore the rushing blood in his veins for the moment.
"Hmm." Sasuke licked at his jaw. "To busy for this?" Then he grabbed Naruto through his jeans, and he nearly caved and let Sasuke fuck him right there.
Naruto shook his head. "Take us back to my place?" Naruto had a plan to follow through.
"Want you now." Sasuke shoved himself against Naruto so he could feel his excitement.
"No. It'll be better there. I promise." Naruto kissed him open mouthed running his tongue everywhere he could manage.
In a flash they were in Naruto's room on the bed. Clothes were ripped away, and Naruto dared think this felt even better sober. Sasuke shoved him back until he was sprawled out before him. As Sasuke settled on top of him his meddalion sank gently onto Naruto's chest. This is good, he remembered thinking as he felt the heat of the necklace settle against him. Then before he could form another coherent thought Sasuke started fucking him hard. So hard it shook the bed, and Naruto was sure his neighbors would complain but he didn't care. He just wanted to feel Sasuke against him. Naruto knew without a doubt alcohol had not been the thing that kept him coming back to Sasuke.
When they both spent themselves they laid tangled together as they caught their breaths. Naruto felt Sasuke run his fingers lightly along his neck and then into the soft locks of his hair. The gesture was so fond, and familiar it made Naruto's heart ache. Then Sasuke was looking for his pants to soon for Naruto to want to see him go.
"If you stay," Naruto started feigning confidence. "you can fuck me again in the morning."
"But i never stay." Sasuke said with a puzzled look on his face and his hand holding his pants aloft.
"You could. You could stay tonight."
"For the sex in the morning?" Sasuke asked like the answer made any difference.
"Yes." He agreed hoping not to look to eager.
"Allright then move over i get the good pillow." That was just fine by Naruto.
When he was sure Sasuke was good and passed out he scooted closer in the bed until they were touching just slightly, just enough so he could feel Sasuke's body heat. Being sated in every way possible Naruto fell asleep to the steady rhythm of Sasuke's heart.
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~After~
Naruto woke up to the familiar feeling of fingers running through his hair. "Oh Sas, that feels nice."
The fingers stopped moving.
Naruto jerked, and sat up instantly. He found it was Sakura touching him as all of the horrific memories come careening back to him. He let his head drop into his hands.
"Sorry. I wasn't trying to wake you up, i let myself in with the key under the frog and i just-"
"I know." He croaked out. "I meant to call you Sak. After i left your house. I did i just i've been- i've been- I don't know what the hell i've been doing." Then he's wrapped around her, and they were both clinging to each other. Both of them sobbing messes just like they'd been at her house. Naruto saw her spot the kunai laying out on the table and she started to cry even harder, because she knew. She knew what they meant to Sasuke, she knew why Naruto hadn't touched them.
"I'm sorry." She said between their sobbing. "I'm so fucking sorry." Naruto buried his face in her pink tresses, she had let them grow out again and they were as soft as any tissue, and he knew she didn't care. Sakura didnt care that he was getting snot in her hair, not when their teammate was dead.
Naruto just clung on for dear life because how could anything ever be right in the world again? Who was the bastard that said it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Because that SOB didn't know anything about grief. Because right about the same time Naruto lost him, he started wishing to God he had never even met Sasuke Uchiha.
To be continued...