Previously:
"Sasuke-san was nothing but nice to me. It's not his fault." Yet Sakura still glared daggers at him, daring him to say anything. Breathing had become difficult, his mind couldn't focus, but thankfully his body went on autopilot.
He had said something along the lines of 'no harm was done' and exchanged some pleasantries before bidding the two friends goodbye. Somehow, his legs managed to bring him to the library and he was glad for the distraction studying brought him.
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Sasuke opened his hand above the pan to probe whether it had gotten hot enough. Satisfied with his conclusion, he tossed the aromatics into the pan. As they sizzled away and the smell became incredible, Kurama started pawing at his jogging pants. Sasuke sighed and crouched down to the feline.
"Your chicken is boiling on the other burner, be patient," he whispered as they stood nearly nose to nose. Kurama meowed –once, twice– until Sasuke got the cue and started to pet her head. The cat purred and threw herself on her back, belly up. Sasuke smiled, standing up. "I am not falling for it this time, Kurama."
The cat spun in a circle, meowing again, but Sasuke just spoke back over his shoulder, as he opened the faucet to wash his hands. "I couldn't feed you now even if I wanted to." He made a point to gesture towards the nearby pot, filled with Kurama's food–to–be. "It takes more time."
Just then Naruto entered the apartment, cheeks rosy and clothes wet, bringing the outside chill with him.
"Sasuke! Oh man, Kurama, are you giving him trouble again?"
Kurama faced Naruto and meowed a few more times, as she started heading his way. He took off his wet jacket and shoes, crouching to wait for Kurama. Just as Naruto was starting to spoil her, Sasuke finally spoke.
"Go get a warm shower, I have started dinner for the both of us."
"Aw, really?! Man, Sasuke, you're the best!" he exclaimed happily and gave his friend one of those sincere, wide smiles. Sasuke's heart clenched. Had Jirayia waited for Naruto with dinners ready just like Kakashi did? He doubted it.
As Naruto closed the bathroom door behind him, he went ahead to spread Naruto's coat in such a way, it could air dry until tomorrow. Coming back to the stove, he deglazed the pan, as his mind started to space off.
As the wet early winter snow continued to fall outside, Sasuke finished the chickpea stew, which they served over rice. Naruto hummed happily, pledging to take care of the clean-up after the meal. Sasuke yawned. Sleep barely found him anymore these days.
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"Is this just a little detective story for you?"
Sleep eluded him. He felt haunted by Sakura's words, which rang true. If he was honest to himself, what had driven him was probably the need to put a face to the person who did this to her. What had stressed him out the most was the thought that this person might live life without any consequence whatsoever and even nested in his friend group, in all likelihood. This notion was revolting, so repugnant that it made his skin crawl… so he had written all these stupid lists in his damned notebook. He had looked everybody up, where they go, who they're friends with and whom they cut off recently.
"Figure out who it was for your own entertainment and then what, huh?"
Then what? Silence. He didn't know. He had no fucking clue, all right?!
He threw open the drawer of his desk and fetched the notebook within. He then tossed that damned thing across the room, as the pages flew and flipped. The notebook landed open, pages first, some bent at awkward angles, but he wasn't done with it. He picked it up, tugging furiously at both covers in different directions, hoping for the damned thing to fucking split in two or dissolve and be gone. Pages ripped and wrinkled, but the notebook refused to yield. The prickling feeling within only increased in magnitude.
"I'll tell you what, this is about her and her feelings."
Enraged, he threw it back on the ground and stomped on it, his feet further wrinkling the pages, until they finally started to furrow and the graphite pencil strokes looked smeared. And just then he caught a glimpse of that fucking earring of hers he had placed on his nightstand.
"She wants to forget, yet you… your presence doesn't let her move on."
It reflected the moonlight in such a lovely way, reminding him of her eyes and the hurt he'd seen within. And just as suddenly as it hit him, his anger ebbed back and gave way to despair. Yeah, he got lost in the whole quest to find the perpetrator and ignored Hinata's feelings in the process. If she would have wanted him to know who it was, she would have told him.
"Actually, you're probably the worst person to possibly get involved."
Yeah, it wasn't his business, he was no hero and his digging hurts the people he'd rather find peace. It was time to let go, if his holding on caused so much suffering.
This resolution finally brought him peace, as he carefully packed the jewellery in his backpack. He would be prepared to finally return the earring to its owner. Next Monday he'd wait for her at the same table at that café.
He then returned to lay down in his bed and sleep finally found his exhausted body.
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It was a tall order to ask for his understanding without providing any reasoning. She would gladly tell him who it was, she would… but was that fair to him? And wasn't it reasonable to assume he would choose his best friend?
Bright red and a sharp pain in her finger brought her back to chopping vegetables. She put the knife down and went to the bathroom, looking for anything to stop the bleeding, opening cabinets in a hurry. Where were these gauzes…? She'd also have to cook with a glove on, it would be unhygienic to bleed into the dinner she would serve to Sakura as well.
They're your friends too. You shouldn't give them up. Give it time, but don't let that scum bully you out of your own friend circle like that.
She had given up on all her friends but Sakura, hadn't she? Because really, her friends fell into two groups: the ones she deemed were closer to Naruto and would have his back anyways (or not believe her at all) and then the rest. They did not know what happened, could not understand her moods, her pain… her anymore. And she has gradually shut them out, removed herself from the emotional intimacy they had once shared. She did feel guilty about that.
Glove in place and bleeding stopped, Hinata made her way back to the kitchen. The katsu curry still had a long way until it took shape. While a little more time intensive than the usual dishes she would make, it would last several days in the fridge and would be a little treat for both her and Sakura.
As she finished chopping the carrots, potatoes and mushrooms, she went on to bread the tofu in advance for baking. Yeah, Sasuke-san was right. There would be no life just like before if she kept pushing people away. For better or for worse, she should do her best to handle hearing of or even seeing Naruto, if she didn't plan to go public with what happened. Just thinking of the drama which would consume the friend group made her sigh. She already knew she wouldn't tell people what had happened.
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"Aaaah, Hinata, it smells divine!" Sakura smiled, despite the tired look on her face, as she took a seat at their shared table. Hinata offered her a small smile and blush in response.
The food was delightful, sweet and savoury in the best way possible and, of course not spicy. Sakura wouldn't like that after all. They ate each lost in her own thoughts, until Sakura took notice of the bloodied gauze.
"Hey, Hina, what happened to your finger?" She was ready to stand up and come inspect the wound, but Hinata raised her hand in refusal.
"Nothing serious, I… I think Sasuke-san might be right."
"Hm?"
"About my– uhh, our friends and…"
Sakura seemed to have already understood what she was trying to say, so she left it at that. Her friend took a moment to ponder on her words and then nodded to no one in particular.
"Hey, Hinata, if it doesn't fit your timeline, that is okay too. You're not ready to move on and that's totally fine."
"But… I want to be ready and I might. And I think I can't just sit around, waiting to magically get better. I think I have to fight for it a little."
Sakura's eyes took on a strange look. "I hate to admit it, but I might have been a little harsh with him," she confessed, smiling awkwardly. She looked ashamed. "He might be a good influence after all. It's just– well, I do not know if you should get attached or trust him…"
"I am conflicted about that too, but… what I know for now is that he's been nothing but kind to me."
Why he'd shown up after her trying to push him away last week was beyond her, but she should go and she would go. Because if he'd come, she'd like to start letting people in and finally begin to slowly open up, even if it left her vulnerable.
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To be continued…
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A/N: Thank you for being so patient with me regarding this story. It's not easy to write.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would love to hear your thoughts on it. :)