Thank you so much for your reviews on my first chapter. Hope you enjoy this one! As always, feel free to let me know what you think :)

'Alex?' Olivia asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

She took in the other woman's appearance. She'd never known the lawyer to be anything but pristine, always put together. That was the biggest difference between them, she'd always thought. While her own appearance meant very little to Olivia, particularly in her line of work that was typically very male-dominated, Alex was the opposite. Somehow, she seemed to have built her entire being based on what she wanted other people to think of her. Pin straight hair, creaseless grey pantsuit, sensible shoes. She portrayed herself as infallible, indestructible. And usually, she was.

But this was a very different Alex that stood in front of Olivia.

She was drenched, her hair plastered to her face and neck. The white blouse had all but turned see-through and clung to her too. Olivia tried not to focus on how some of the buttons had been ripped off, the fact that she was certain she'd had a jacket earlier that day that had somehow been lost. The blouse was stained, dirt and blood. None of that compared to the cuts and scrapes that peppered her body, primarily on her arms and around her collarbone, though the deepest was on her left cheek and still bleeding. Her skin was paler than usual, her mascara smudged under her eyes where it mixed with the rainwater, emphasising the bruising on her face as she dripped onto the floor.

What on Earth had happened?

'Alex, honey, what happened?' Liv asked, crossing the short distance between them to the woman she was closest to in the world.

She took her hands in hers, gripping them tightly to try and gently attract her attention, and though Alex was looking in her direction, she knew she wasn't really looking at her, just through her.

'Alex? Alex, sweetie, it's me. It's Liv.'

Her eyes flickered back to the woman in front of her, wide with fear. Olivia could see that her breathing was becoming faster and more shallow. She recognised the signs of a panic attack all too well and she knew she had to try and get through to her.

'It's ok. You're safe, I promise.' She wrapped her in a tight hug, rubbing circles on her back. 'Just breathe with me, Alex. You're ok, I promise. It's all over now. No one can hurt you. I've got you.'

They stood like that for a minute, Alex's head pressed against Olivia's chest where she could hear her heart beating, the steady rhythm helping to regulate her own. Eventually, the hyperventilating subsided.

'Good girl.'

It didn't even cross her mind that she was using the "victim voice" on Alex. It just came naturally, an instinct to protect her and make everything ok.

Wordlessly, she pulled away and gently guided Alex to her desk, pulling out the chair for her to sit in. Her own past forced horrific images into her mind of what could have happened and she tried to force them away, reminding herself that only Alex could tell her what had happened. No amount of pre-emptive worrying could predict what it was that she would say. That was if she could get her to say anything at all. She still seemed dazed, out of it, and Olivia wasn't entirely sure she knew where she was, much less why she was even there.

Olivia knelt down in front of her friend, fixing a reassuring smile on her face and trying to pretend, just for a minute, that she was just another victim. She couldn't help her if she didn't tell her what had happened. She waited until Alex's eyes focused on hers.

'Are you ok?' Olivia asked.

What a stupid question. She looks like she's been beaten half to death, she's wet through and freezing. Of course she's not ok.

Alex nodded and Olivia felt her heart drop as she watched her look up, trying to prevent the tears filling her eyes from falling down her cheeks. She'd never seen the ADA even close to tears, never really seen her show any emotion, and wasn't entirely sure how to help her. So she remained quiet, hoping Alex would fill the silence.

…

She couldn't bring herself to see the look of sympathy on Olivia's face. It came from a place of care, she knew that, but she wasn't used to it and it made her uncomfortable. She was ADA Alexandra Cabot. She'd built her whole life, her entire sense of self, around that identity. Fearless, composed, in control. It had been so long that she didn't know how to be anything but anymore. The feeling of control slipping away terrified her more than anything else. But Olivia's kindness had forced her to feel something and so the numbness had slowly been replaced by fear.

Her hands shook and she clenched them in her lap to hide it, turning her gaze down to watch them as she wrung them, fidgeting to distract herself. It was a habit she'd picked up during her childhood, from the hours spent in her bedroom shutting out her parents' arguments. In the last hour, she'd been reduced from a competent ADA to a ten-year-old girl cowering from what nobody had protected her from.

'I, um… I was walking home from my office, I'd grabbed a file, the one for the Peterson trial, you know?'

She took a breath, looking up briefly at Olivia, who nodded. Her gaze flashed to a spot on the wall just past Olivia's shoulder, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Jeffery Peterson, the Governor, had been accused of abusing his young children and wife, but the SVU detectives had uncovered his connections with the Mafia in the process. They were planning to force him to take a deal that would lead them to the more senior members, with little luck so far.

'And then… I was literally right outside my building. Some guy dragged me into the side street, he had a knife, and… and … oh god, there were so many of them, Liv.'

She wiped a stray tear as it fell, hoping that Olivia hadn't seen it, and took another shaky breath.

'They just backed me up against the wall. It was the file- they wanted the file. I couldn't give it to them, though. It's confidential. I could lose my job. I was so stupid. I should've just given it to them.'

Her voice cracked.

Olivia's hand was on her leg instantly, squeezing gently to reassure her, silently promising that it wasn't her fault. Nothing like this could ever be her fault.

'The one with the knife just came at me, shoved me to the ground. God, why didn't I just give it to them?'

'Alex, you know that probably wouldn't have made a difference. Nothing you did was wrong,' Olivia reasoned.

She still wasn't sure, but continued her story anyway, not entirely sure she could stop now she'd started.

'They all sort of towered over me and I couldn't really look up because of the rain, so he knelt down and held the knife against my face.'

Her fingers grazed her cheek and she flinched slightly as she made contact with the gash, looking in surprise as she drew back her hand covered with her blood, as though she hadn't quite believe it until then.

'He took the file. Said he had to teach me a lesson, not to cross him again, that I had to learn some respect. There wasn't much I could do, I'm so sorry, Liv.'

…

Her heart broke at that. It was as though she could physically feel it fall apart in her chest. How on earth could Alex ever think this was her fault? That she would ever be disappointed in her, hold her responsible?

'Oh sweetie, it's not your fault. It's never your fault, ok? I'm not mad. I couldn't care less about the file. You are more important than that. It's just a stupid file,' she promised.

She couldn't tell if Alex believed her. She still wouldn't hold eye contact with her, couldn't bring herself to threaten her composure. Understandably, Olivia supposed. Whenever she'd been hurt in the past, she too closed herself off, dissociated from the emotion. It was what had earnt her being labelled as cold in the last, but it was just her method of survival.

Alex nodded.

'He just kind of kept going with the knife. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up, pushed me against the wall again. I banged my head…' she trailed off.

Alarm bells rang in Olivia's head and her instincts from years of experience as an SVU detective screamed at her to make Alex finish her story. The way her shirt had clearly been ripped open at some point, the missing jacket, the way they'd backed her into a corner, like a pack of wolves… she had to know. She waited, but Alex seemed to be on the verge of withdrawing again.

'I'm sorry to ask you this, but I need to know what happened. Did anyone do anything to you, Alex? Did anyone rape you?'

Alex closed her eyes at the word, pulling away from Olivia's touch. She'd been anticipating this response, but she couldn't help but feel disappointed as she watched her shake her head, almost imperceptibly.

'I don't want to talk about it,' she whispered, falling back into her trance-like state again.

What do we think happened to Alex? (I've written the next chapter already, so should be up soon. Hopefully there won't be long to wait!)