"Honestly, Starfire you're not doing bad at all. You just need to remember to switch hands as you turn my wrist so you have a hand accessible for defense." Raven watches as Robin's hands slide down Starfire's forearms to lock around her wrist, twisting it to emphasize his point.
Starfire's body leans into him slightly, to ease the tension on her arm as he restrains her. Robin drops his grip from the tamaranian and holds his hands out in front of him in a defensive position and Starfire mirrors him, getting ready to start their next round. Raven's eyes are locked on their bodies as they move against each other, round after round, their sweat glistening bodies so close. Robin's gentle smile of reassurance to Starfire when she makes a mistake sends an irritating turmoil through Raven's body. Starfire's smile beams brightly as she lets out a shriek of joy as she finally gets the move down correctly, locking Robin in a position where she could easily break his arm if she chose to do so, his back pressed firmly against her chest.
She's scenting what's yours. Something inside her head hisses, and it makes her brain fuzzy. She forces herself to blink trying to get her gaze to drop from the two titans as they train just feet away from her. She should be focused on her task, but she can't even remember what it was originally, let alone how to continue. It's taking everything in her to maintain her composure as it is, but the desire to cause a scene was rising.
"Uh, Raven?"
She jumps, her attention finally averting from the wrestling pair up to the robotic man above her. "What?"
"BB tapped out like 30 seconds ago, you can let him up now." Cyborg gestures to the green teen still locked firmly situated in a combination between her clenched fists and her crackling black power.
"Shit, sorry." She releases her grip and clenches her teeth together trying to reign in her emotions. "I should go meditate." She stands to excuse herself.
"Ya think?" Beastboy mutters grumpily as he rubs his shoulder trying to work out whatever kink she'd just given him.
She ignores his comment and tries convincing herself not to give her friends a passing glance as she leaves, but fails. Even behind Robin's usual mask she can tell their eyes meet as she passes and she hopes her face is composed enough to not signal any alarms his way. Batting a solid zero with her hits today, she can feel the distant worry waft off him in an unpleasant aroma. She tries to quicken her pace as the doors to the gym close behind her but she knows it's a lost cause.
"Hey," His voice beckons behind her and she curses herself for stopping. "You okay?"
She closes her eyes, taking a breath to steady herself before swallowing and turning to face him.
"Of course." She says keeping her expression and tone neutral.
"You sure?" He closes the distance between them reaching out to grasp her hand slightly.
She stares down at their hands entwined together and can't help but think of how the same hands were grazing over their attractive orange teammate in a way that would make most men envious. She snatched her hand away from his, her jaw clenching tightly as she kept her eyes downcast, refusing to meet his gaze.
"Rae?" Robin's voice calls out to her gently with a tinge of worry.
Her eyes shoot up to meet his masked face and her lips pursed slightly as a strike of unpleasant heat shoots through her chest.
"Fine," It comes out harsher than she intends for it to and his worry doesn't dispel. "I just…" She falters trying to come up with an excuse that won't make him think she's absolutely unhinged. "Promised Aqualad I'd train with him later today and I don't want to get burnt out."
"Oh," He smiles at her gently, the murky scent of worry easing slightly. "That makes sense. Seems pretty last minute though, you didn't mention it earlier?"
"Yeah, I forgot." She says plainly, she knows better than to ramble off too much information.
"What time are you going to be back?" He asks, his voice dropping lower in his chest in a way he did particularly when they were alone.
She couldn't help the frown she gave him as her mind raced at the implications. He's hot and bothered rubbing bodies with the 'hotter' one and wants to take it out on you. A lightbulb shatters behind Robin and he jumps, turning to look down at the broken glass before turning to look back at Raven. Imagine him pinning you down, her scent still residing over him. Her teeth chatter as her power crackles out of her control and something snaps behind them.
"Rae? What's-" He tries reaching out to her again but she flinches away from his grasp.
"Forget about it. I need to go." She turns away from him, taking a step and sinking into the floor, ignoring his confused calls behind her.
She finishes her step through her portal, depositing herself into her dark quiet room. She throws her cloak off onto the floor and runs her hands roughly through her hair to get it out of her face. She lets out an exasperated sigh as she throws herself onto her bed and something cracks behind her as her powers lash out.
"God dammit." She mutters to herself pulling her body into a ball and shutting her eyes tightly, trying to steady her breathing.
"You're being irrational." She tells herself. "There's no reason to feel this way."
An image of Robin's tight sweat glistened body embracing Starfire's smaller but similar frame as he guides her through the poses flashes through her head. Their skin slick against each other as she locks him into a defenseless pose and grins in triumph. She hears something slide across the room and shatter behind her closed eyes.
"Stop," She gasps, grasping at her head. "You're making it worse you fucking idiot." She berates herself.
"I won't tolerate anyone being so harsh to one of my teammates let alone my friend."
The voice snaps her out of her head and she jumps turning towards the sound. Robin stands in the doorway of her room, his mask raised slightly as he watches her apprehensively.
"You shouldn't be here." She tells him, swallowing harshly.
"Neither should you, so I thought." He counters.
Her teeth clench as they stare at each other in silence.
"I'll leave if you really want me to." He offers after a moment.
She purses her lips, her hands clenched into fists in the sheets below her. She really didn't want him to leave, but she felt so stupid looking this irrational over nothing.
"I want you to stay but I need you to shower first." She admits, her jaw tight.
"Huh?" He asks, reaching down to pull at the neck of his shirt to give his body a sniff. "Do I smell that bad?"
"No," She sighs, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm just a sensitive bitch."
He can't help but snicker. "As long as you're sure it's not me. I'll be back in 15 minutes okay?"
She nods, and watches as he leaves, letting out her breath in a harsh gust. She decides to use the time to actually meditate and she pulls herself up to cross her legs in liberation. She closes her eyes and steadies her breath, finding center in her body. She allows her body to relax as she breathes her mantra in counted increments.
"Azarath," Breathe in. "Metrion." Hold the breath. "Zinthos." Release the breath. Repeat.
She tries allowing herself to be present with her thoughts, now that she's balanced. Rationally, there's no reason for her to feel so rabidly insecure over Robin helping Star with martial arts or defense mechanisms. She's watched him do it time and time again for over two years as he continued to hone and master his own skills, there should be no difference in watching him do it now. But there was a difference; the intimacy her and Robin had started sharing together was clouding her judgment. There was no reason for her to think he would do anything to sabotage their relationship intentionally. He was just doing his job as their leader; teaching and strengthening their team, and it was ridiculous for her to get upset over it.
Why share what you've claimed as yours? That sinister little voice trickles in, tainting her rationality. She focuses on her breathing again, trying to ignore it hoping it will go away. He's not hers, not completely. Just because they've been messing around behind closed doors didn't enable her any entitlement to him. If she were to continue thinking rationally she could very well try and start getting used to the idea of those late night sessions coming to an end if he saw how irrational she was becoming over something so minimal.
Almost as if her thoughts summoned him themselves, her door slides open once more and a slightly more damp Robin returns. His slightly fluffy hair drips water onto his shoulders and speckles the tank top and basketball shorts he's haphazardly thrown on.
"I don't think my nose is as good as yours, but I scrubbed twice, is that any better?" He asks, glancing down at his body.
Even with the distance between them she can smell the fresh clean scent of his skin drifting through the air and it eases the tension in her body significantly. She nods but she can't bring herself to vocalize her thoughts as they stare at each other in silence.
"So…" He starts slowly, taking a few short steps into the room. "Did you want to talk about what you were feeling back there?"
She bites her lip, considering all of her thoughts and what she can possibly say to him in this moment that won't make her look absolutely crazy.
"I feel so stupid." She admits, dropping her gaze down to her lap.
He takes this as permission to stay and carefully steps farther into her room stopping in front of her bed.
"Why?" He asks frowning. "What happened?"
"I-" she cuts herself off with a sigh. "Nothing happened. That's part of the problem. I'm being completely irrational and I know that but I can't stop feeling like this." She gestured dramatically at her body as if there were a physical crater emphasizing her emotional turmoil.
"Like what?" He asks gently. "Can you tell me what it is?"
She groans as she feels her face flush warmly and something breaks behind Robin. The crackle of static flows through her room as their communicators light up and Cyborgs voice booms through.
"Raven, got a copy?" His voice is worried but laced with a trace of fear. "Things are going crazy in the gym still, are you okay?"
Raven groans again, throwing her body backwards onto her pillows. She pulls her communicator out, turns the antenna on the top all the way to the right to mute communication and throws it across the room. Robin reaches out and grabs it midair easily, tossing it on the ground gently so it wouldn't break.
He pulls his communicator out of his pocket and flips it open. "I've got her. Everything's under control." He says quickly before muting his communicator and tossing it on the floor to join Raven's.
"This is so embarrassing." She raises her arms to rest over her eyes.
"It seems like it's affecting you more holding it all in." She feels the bed dip as he sits down next to her legs and leans over her slightly.
She sighs, pulling her body back up so they can look at each other again. Even through his mask she can tell his gentle eyes are still watching her with apprehension. She can only hold the gaze for so long before she drops her eyes back to her lap and her face flushes again.
"Okay," She sighs harshly, closing her eyes briefly. "I'm going to remind you before I say this that I know I'm being irrational and I don't need you to tell me that I am, I just need you to tell me how to fix it."
"Okay," He agrees slowly.
"Okay," She repeats, bracing herself to spill her guts. "While we were training, you were helping Starfire with fighting positions and stuff." She pauses, glancing up at him hoping that was sufficient enough. His head tilts signaling his confusions, urging her to continue on. She sighs, "You guys were really close together, and I could just smell her sweat on you, and yours on hers, and you guys were just so close, and hot, and sweaty." She rambled, waving her hand as she spoke, as if it would dispel the words faster.
"And you felt jealous." He finished.
"Yeah." It came out defensively as she crossed her arms. "But I shouldn't and I know that."
He chuckles slightly, and she can't help the heated glance she flashes him. "Don't laugh at me."
"Sorry," He stops laughing but a faint smile still graces his lips. "I promise I don't think your feelings are funny, I just didn't think you did jealousy."
"I don't." She said throwing her body back against the bed again. "I shouldn't. We've all been friends for years, we've trained together for years, there's no reason I should feel jealous over something so stupid."
"Raven, it's okay. People get jealous over stupid things all the time. It just means you're human." He sets his hand on her leg gently.
"But I'm not." She hisses. "That's also part of the problem, there's something in me that feels almost feral at the thought of anyone let alone her touching you. I think it's the human part of me that's trying to rationalize with the other side that I shouldn't feel like this."
"It's okay to feel jealous." Robin repeats. "It's just what you do about the jealousy that's important."
"You don't get jealous." She shoots.
"You don't know that."
She flashes an eye open to look up at him. "What could you possibly have to be jealous about?"
"I could ask you the same question." His head tilts slightly.
"What do you mean?" She frowns.
He mirrors her frown. "What could you have to be jealous about?" He crawls across the bed to lean over her, caging her head in between his arms.
"Are you kidding me?" She asks. "In relation to Starfire? How could I not be. Even she's said she doesn't like how I look."
He lowers his body slightly, to cover the lower half of her body and moves his hands to lightly caress her cheeks.
"What's wrong with how you look?" He asks gently.
"That's exactly what I said." She sighs, but can't help but lean into his touch. "But it's not like I'm stupid or blind, I know she's gorgeous, and I'd be stupid to think you think otherwise."
He's silent as he stares down at her and she knows he's trying to choose his words carefully to not upset her further. He sighs and rolls off her, laying beside her and anxiety swells in her stomach at the action.
"I'm not going to say you're wrong, but I want you to know I don't have any regrets about being with you." He says after a moment.
"Why the hell would you say that to me?" She snaps and he laughs next to her.
"Would you rather I lie to you?" He asks between his laughter.
"Yes." She folds her arms. "No. I don't know." She sighs and rolls over to curl into his side.
His arm wraps around her automatically, pulling her closer, and it feels like her body purs.
"I'm not going to go through the effort of trying to lie and persuade an empath into thinking I don't find Starfire attractive. You'd probably kill off half the population trying to find a man that doesn't."
"Wow, I feel hotter than the surface of the sun." She mutters.
"However," He continues, reaching his other arm across his body to gently tilt her chin up towards his face. "Part of our relationship that I cherish is that we're able to be honest with each other about anything. So while I might not be able to make you feel better in regards to how you feel in comparison to Starfire, I can help you try and rationalize why I enjoy being with you in this way more than I do with her."
"Ugh," She rolls away from him. "I don't want to talk about relationship issues with my leader, Robin, I'm trying to talk about it with the person I'm with."
They're both silent, and as the silence stretches on the embarrassment waves over her again.
"I see," He says softly. "I think there's a disconnect."
His words shoot sparks of emotions through her quicker than she can control and something outside her room shatters.
"I don't mean with our relationship, just our communication." He says quickly. "I was under the impression I was having a conversation with my girlfriend, not my teammate."
His what? Her body tensed as she tried to process his words. He'd never called her that before, at least to her knowledge. The label was laced with commitment, which was horrific, but wasn't it also exactly what she wanted? Him referring to her as his girlfriend would also very heavily imply he was her boyfriend. She couldn't fathom referring to anyone else the same way, at least at this point in her life. He was completely right about the honesty they could share between them, it was what allowed her to trust him so wholly and completely. She couldn't be mad at him for something she admired about him the most.
"Do you feel there's a power dynamic between us?" He asked her after a moment of silence.
"I don't know," She answers honestly. "I don't think so. I think sometimes it's hard for me to differentiate between what Robin is with me, especially when we're not alone like this."
"That makes sense." He acknowledges.
She feels him moving around behind her, then his arm stretches out over her body to place something on the table beside her head. She watches his bare arm retract from her vision, then drops her eyes to what he's placed on the table. His mask lays in front of her face, slightly glistening with sweat where it'd been attached to his face. She gapes at it for a moment silently before fully comprehending what the object sitting in front of her means and she spins quickly to face him.
The moment she sees his face she feels like she should avert her gaze, though simultaneously as if she can't look away. She soaks in the lines and details of his face. She's only slightly ashamed to say the slight bruising over his eye from either training or battle accentuates his hard demeanor in the most attractive way. The flush of his cheeks and how it ghosts over his nose and just under his eyes is endearing; not to mention the way that ridiculous gentle smile he was giving her would crinkle his eyes just slightly.
"What are you doing?" Her own eyes widen as she asks the question automatically.
"Hopefully providing a solution." He blinked.
It was jarring to see him blink, she noted.
"Obviously I don't think this will solve the entire problem," He started, "but I can easily see your point. Sometimes even I have a hard time distinguishing where being a leader ends and being a friend starts. This is something I can give you to show vulnerability, you've given me plenty."
His eyes mesmerized her as he spoke, she felt silly staring up at him like a child seeing a glistening new wonder. She surged forward, her hands coming up to lightly hold onto his face as she pressed her lips firmly into his. His chuckle was muffled under their lips but he leaned into the kiss, responding eagerly. They pulled away to breathe and her eyes immediately found his once again, feeling just as shocked seeing the bright blue irises a second time.
"For obvious reasons, I'd prefer not to do this in front of the others. But I lo— trust you, and it's nice to be able to let my guard down around someone." He spoke still slightly breathless.
She didn't miss the slip of his tongue and something in her chest swelled with warmth at its implications.
"What about my jealousy?" Her voice came out lower than she expected, and she couldn't stop switching her gaze between his eyes and his lips.
He gave her a crooked smile, accentuating the sly expression he held. "Unfortunately I don't have an immediate solution for that one. I can't change the way you feel about things that happen, and neither can you for that matter. But you're strong, smart, and you have a good understanding of what you're feeling, and I'm always here to help talk you through those pesky human emotions."
"That came with years of practice. You'll get sick of me far before I'd have any sort of control over it." Her lip curled slightly.
He frowns, and she's obsessed with watching the crease lines in his forehead and eyebrows move as he does. "Sick of you? Raven, I could never be sick of you. You're my best friend, relationship or not."
"I don't know how to control it, and jealousy isn't something I want to practice feeling." Her teeth clench.
"I don't think you necessarily have a choice." He chuckles. "There's going to be plenty more training sessions, and more times where I'm going to have to touch Starfire, or hell, even other girls. It comes with the job, which I'm sure you know, and I won't give up my job for you."
"I'm not asking you to." She arches her brow, pausing. "How do you deal with human jealousy?"
"Not much differently than a demi-demon does, minus the power surges." His grin widens. "We berate ourselves, yell at ourselves, ask why we aren't good enough…isolate ourselves."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience." She says softly.
"We're all human, Rae." He matches her tone.
"Easy for you to say," She blinks, glancing down to his lips. "When's the last time you were jealous?"
She watches his iris's move, flickering to different areas of her face, taking in her expression.
"Honestly?" He grins, chuckling as Raven rolls her eyes. "I had a twinge of jealousy at your fake idea of going to train with Aqualad in the hallway."
She bites her lip to keep from grinning wickedly and glances away from his face as she flushes. "Oh, it wasn't fake. It's just later in the day, I was just going to hang out with Bee while I waited around."
She watches him blink, his vision glossing over slightly, before it returns and he arches a brow looking down at her. "Are you trying to make me jealous?"
"Is it working?" She counters.
He's silent as his eyes gloss over once again and Raven can't hold her composure as she lets out a sudden bark of laughter before reeling it back in.
"Oh my god, it did." She lets herself grin as she slides her hands up to twist in the hair at the nape of his neck, curling her body closer into his, worming her scent slowly over his body.
Raven can't help the sequel of joy and surprise she lets out as he quickly grabs her hips firmly and pulls them down into his own before sliding one hand up to support her back as he flips them over so she's flat on the bed. He cages her head with his arms once again, this time leaning down to press their chests together. She adjusts her legs, raising her hips into his as she does, to loosely wrap her legs around the back of his thighs.
"Of course it did," He hisses, rolling his eyes, before kissing her fiercely. "It's fucking Aqualad."