PREFACE: So, a common complaint of Revenge of the Island and Pahkitew Island is the small casts and the 13-episode season. What Revenge of the Island was 26 episodes long, and included the cast of Pahkitew Island?
So if this is Revenge of the Island, it still takes place on Camp Wawanakwa. It still has the toxic waste thing going on. I'll keep the names Toxic Rats and Mutant Maggots. I'll add the members of the "green team" in Pahkitew (Pimâpotew Kinosewak) to the Toxic Rats and the members of the "red team" in Pahkitew (Wâneyihtam Maskwak) to the Mutant Maggots.
I'll make a couple character edits too -
Mike's multiple personalities are cut. It's not a very good portrayal of mental illness.
Scarlett and Max's "evil" only exists within the context of the game - they aren't bent on world domination/supervillainy.
Beardo is more of a music artist/producer and beatboxer than just a living soundboard.
Leonard is still a D&D nerd, but even the most hardcore players don't think they're wizards. So, cut that.
This first episode is going to hit a lot of the same beats as the actual first episode of ROTI. But worry not, this series will soon deviate significantly from the original series.
The scene opens on a familiar boreal island. But something seems a little different. The grass is more pallid. The leaves on the trees are sparser. The buildings and dock look like they're barely held together. An eerie, sickly, unnatural aura emanates from the landmass.
A familiar face steps into view on the dock. It's Chris McLean, with a characteristically sadistic smirk on his face.
"You've seen us take on the world of cinema. You've seen us take on the world, period. But this season, we'll be returning to our roots right here - Camp Wawanakwa!" Chris makes a grandiose gesture with his hands. "I'm your host, Chris McLean. Camp Wawanakwa has gone through some changes while we've been away. And by 'changed', I mean it's gotten super dangerous."
A giant octopus's tentacle appears from the depths and smashes a piece of the dock off. Chris laughs, unfazed. "Good stuff!" His face hardens. "But the rules of the game remain unchanged. A group of teens will compete in challenges, try to get along with the complete strangers they share the island with, and one-by-one be voted off. Last one standing wins ONE MILLION dollars!"
The sounds of parting waves and the hum of a boat engine become audible. "Speaking of our cast, here they come!"
A yacht with all the contestants from the previous three seasons sails joyously by. Music pumps out from some unseen source. The partying, celebrating icons seem out of place near this dreary island. However, instead of slowing down at the Wawanakwa dock, the yacht sails past the island completely.
Chris laughs as the former contestants cry in confusion. "No… not those guys! This season, we've got TWENTY-SEVEN new players!" Chris pauses to let the large number sink in. "And here they come now… for real!"
A new yacht, much less colorful than the last one, appears on the horizon. A short-haired, bitter-faced blonde woman in sweats is the first to be shown by the camera.
"JO!"
"Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis," Jo suggests to the pale, pointy-faced ginger with the furrowed brow and tank top who is right next to her.
"SCOTT!"
"Right back at'cha," Scott sneers before taking a sniff of his armpit.
"ELLA!"
A cheerful, rosy-cheeked girl dressed in a fancy pink dress dances into view and offers a strange contrast to the two unseasonable characters just shown.
"What a wondrous day to arrive on the quay…" Ella sings. She is interrupted by the sound of an attempt at a beatboxing accompaniment.
"BEARDO!"
A large, shaggy-haired contestant is revealed to be the source of the beatboxing. Beardo notices that Ella stopped singing because of him. He makes an uncannily accurate rendition of a sad trombone sound effect. "Wah-wah-wah…"
"SKY!"
A limber, stylish Cree teenager is off-put by Beardo. "How is that even possible to make that sound with your mouth?"
"DAVE!"
An uptight-looking, collared boy grins awkwardly at Sky. "I know, what a weirdo, right? A-ha." Sky raises an eyebrow at this put-down and Beardo glares at him. Dave raises his hands defensively. "Sorry."
"ZOEY and MIKE!"
A girl with bright-red hair admires the scenery while a lanky, gap-toothed contestant gives her an enamored look.
"This scenery is so beautiful!" The wide-eyed Zoey remarks.
"Yeah... beautiful," Mike replies, clearly looking at Zoey.
"AMY and SAMEY!"
Two blonde girls are shown, dressed in identical cheerleading outfits. The only distinguishing feature is that Amy has a mole on one side of her face. Amy sneers at Zoey's observation. "Are you for real? It looks like someone barfed all over the island. Like, mega-barf. The kind SAMEY gets when she eats dark chocolate."
The more milquetoast twin averts her gaze and rubs her arm, embarrassed. "It's Sammy…"
"LIGHTNING!"
Lightning, a buff, sporty competitor in an American football uniform, jumps into view and knocks Samey over. He flexes his muscles. "Sha-bam!"
A crew-cut guy with dog tags helps Samey up. Samey tries to show her gratitude. "Thanks, I-"
"BRICK!"
Brick drops Samey in order to salute. "Brick McArthur reporting for duty, sir!"
"MAX!"
A short, portly young man rubs his hands in devilish excitement. "Prepare yourselves Camp Wawanakwa, for Mastermind Max knows how to manipulate all of you!"
"JASMINE!"
A dark-skinned girl sporting outback garb towers over Max. She appears to be at least 6 and a half feet tall, but possibly even taller. "Aye, you sure that's wise to be telling everybody?" Jasmine says, her tone styled with a thick Aussie inflection. Max is immediately startled by their vast height difference. "Aah! A giant!" Jasmine rolls her eyes.
"B and DAWN!"
B, a large, dark-skinned man dressed in a coat and backwards cap snaps his fingers and smirks endearingly but remains silent.
An extremely pale, light-blonde, sylphlike girl, wearing a green sweater, gray skirt, and purple stockings, sits cross-legged on the railing. "Your aura is exceptionally purplish-yellow," Dawn says to B, causing him to raise an eyebrow. Dawn continues. "Oh, it suits you, though!"
"DAKOTA!"
A skinny, tanned diva in pink takes off her chic sunglasses and winks. "Hey everyone! Dakota here! Hope y'all are ready for-"
"TOPHER!"
Topher resembles a younger Chris McLean, dressing and styling himself similar to him. He enthusiastically waves at the camera. "Chris! Chris McLean! You're my idol dude! I-" Dakota pushes him out of the way. "Hey, don't interrupt me! I wasn't done yet!"
"Quit hogging all my screen time! Chris probably interrupted you for a reason!"
"ANNE MARIA!"
Anne Maria, full-figured and with an unnaturally orange tan, tends to her huge poof of hair with hairspray. "Ah yeah, a few more coats oughta do it."
"STACI!"
Anne Maria is treated to an anecdote from a rotund figure in a magenta coat. "My Great Aunt Milly invented suntans. Yeah, before her, people used to smear themselves with clay." Anne Maria sprays Staci in the face with her can. Staci coughs and collapses.
"RODNEY!"
Unlike Anne Maria, Rodney, a barrel-chested, wide-eyed ginger in overalls, is enraptured by Staci's story. "Wow, that's so... interesting."
"SCARLETT!"
An academically-dressed redhead with her hair tied tightly back in a bun offers a response. "I believe tanning was popularized in France in the mid-1920s. Pale skin used to be favorable in European cultures before then."
Rodney switches his admiration to Scarlett. "Wow, that's also interesting. And smart."
"CAMERON!"
Cameron is short and scrawny and his glasses magnify his eyes in a way that makes him appear even more naive. He seems awestruck by the most mundane aspects of the outdoors. "Fresh air! A real lake! Birds!" The birds that caught Cameron's attention fly too close to him and he collapses.
"SAM!"
Sam, paunchy, curly-haired, and bespeckled in a polo shirt, is playing a portable game console which spouts tinny sequencer music. "Aw, yeah, mage upgrade!"
"LEONARD!"
A toothy, freckled geek in a green cloak cranes his neck to get a view of what Sam is playing. "Is that Crystal Warriors 3?"
"You know it, bro!"
"Interesting. I prefer the tabletop version."
Sam looks at Leonard's mage garb. "Uh, yeah, I can tell, bro. Heh-heh-heh."
"SHAWN!"
Shawn wears a beanie, puffy jacket, and looks unshaved and unkempt. "I prefer post-apocalyptic games. They give me more training."
"And...SUGAR!"
The final contestant is an overweight, Southern gal with a large curly mass of hair. "Trainin''? For what?" She asks in a thick Southern US drawl, filing her nails while asking.
"Just in case that stuff really happens."
"Oh, that's a bunch of malarkey."
Chris turns back to the camera. "Yep, it's our most EXPLOSIVE season ever! Take a look!" Chris pulls out a detonator and presses the button. There's a bit of a delay and Chris presses it again. A large explosion detonates in the hull of the boat, sinking it. "That's right, it's our biggest, bizarrest, baddest cast ever. Will any of them survive what I put them through? Will any even be able to make it to shore? All of it will be shown here, on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!"
Intro plays.
At the shoreline, the 27 contestants swim to shore. Sugar paddles toward the land. "When I get my hands on Chris…"
Cameron lands on an exposed rock. "Ugh... is this what pain tastes like?..." he squeaks, before he slips into the water. "Help!"
Scott swims by, uninterested. "Nope."
"Out of the way, Lightning coming through! I'll save you, little girl!" Lightning lifts Cameron out of the water with ease.
"I'm a boy!"
"Ugh! My hair and makeup team is going to have a nightmare fixing me up! I told Chris not to get my hair wet!" Dakota whines.
Jo climbs onto shore and celebrates. "Let's go, first on the island!... huh?" Her face drops. Jo notices Dawn sitting cross-legged on a rock at shore. "How did- you're not even wet!"
"Hmm? Oh, I used a shortcut," Dawn replies, as if it was obvious.
Brick washes ashore and salutes Jo. "Ma'am." He then faceplants into the sand, exhausted.
BRICK CONFESSIONAL: I may be the strongest player here but I'm all about the teamwork. Back in cadets, I took the teamwork medal three years running. Also the bed-making medal, the flag-folding medal and the letters home to mom medal. I always win that one.
Staci is struggling to swim, but in-between breaths she is able to confide that "My great-great-great uncle invented snorkels. But before him, my great-great-great…"
Mike stares dreamily at Zoey. "Yeah, that's great." Zoey laughs.
"Get outta my way, string beans!" Anne Maria pushes by the two lovestruck teens.
Lightning, carrying Cameron with one hand, throws Cameron carelessly onto shore. "Sha-saved!"
"Ow... thanks."
CAMERON CONFESSIONAL: I am what's known as a "bubble boy". Growing up, my mom was reeeeally over-protective, so I've never gone swimming before. Up until six hours ago, I've never done anything before. Except read and sigh a lot. [sighs] But that doesn't mean I'm not a force to be reckoned with. (A butterfly enters the confessional.) No way - Danaus plexippus, the monarch butterfly? (The butterfly lands on Cameron.) Ack, it's so heavy!
Jasmine walks onto shore - she was tall enough that she didn't even need to swim. Shawn clambers onto the sand and squeezes water out of his soaking beanie. The rest of the campers begin to get ashore in large numbers. There are, however, a few slackers. Max is one of the last to make it to shore. "Oh, water in my ears! Water up my nose!" Max coughs and more water comes out of his mouth.
"I hope I can make some new friends here," says Zoey.
"I'm sure it wouldn't be hard for a girl like you," Mike replies.
"Yes, that would be good considering you were an only child and all," Dawn replies.
"Huh? Who told you that?"
"It's all over your aura. Such a lonely childhood, it must have been so hard." Dawn gives Zoey a pitying look. Zoey only seems uncomfortable with this violation of privacy.
"Ooh, do me, do me! This is like that fortune teller at the carnival," Sugar eagerly demands.
"I... think it's better if you don't know," Dawn looks concerned more than disgusted. Sugar looks frustrated and skeptical.
MIKE CONFESSIONAL: That Zoey girl is really nice. She says she wants to make some new friends here, maybe I can be her friend? Or maybe even something more? (Mike becomes flustered) I'm getting too ahead of myself. I'll probably find a way to wind up blowing it!
ZOEY CONFESSIONAL: Dawn can be kind of creepy. Was that mean? I know she means well. Mike seems really nice, though. I want to get to know him better!
Max smirks at the disorganized scene at the shore. "Look at these pathetic fools. It will be so easy to pick them off."
"Dude, I've seen clumps of dirt that are more threatening than you," Scott jeers.
"Just you wait," Max angrily retorts. "I'll kick you off as soon as I get the chance!" Scott seems unfazed by this threat.
"This is so unfair. Why did you have to make me do this stupid show?" Amy whines.
"I didn't make you do it, you just sent in an audition because you saw I sent in one." Samey replies.
"Yeah. And it sucked."
Sam takes a look at Amey and Samey and notices how similar they look. "Woah. Am I seeing double, or what?"
"Can it, doughboy," Amy snaps.
"Ok, harsh, man," Sam chuckles and then sighs.
SAMEY CONFESSIONAL: My sister Amy has to be better than me at everything. Every time I get interested in something, she has to do it too. That's how we both wound up here!
"Yeah, and my great-great-great Uncle Boris invented swimming. Before him, people just swung their arms around like this and sank to the bottom," Staci tells Rodney.
"Wow, that must have been so hard for them!" Rodney replies.
"Are you seriously believin' that crap?" Anne Maria asks, irritated.
Rodney sheepishly tries to find a way to impress both Staci and Anne Maria. "Yes. I mean... no. I mean... kind of?"
RODNEY CONFESSIONAL: I grew up on the farm with a bunch of guys. So I'm not used to being around girls. They're all so nice! I hope I know what to say.
The twenty-seven campers stand awkwardly, not sure what to expect. They all look around at the island. Everything looks dilapidated. The grass is patchy. A bird inexplicably falls out of the sky.
Chris steps into view. "Attention, fresh meat! I hope you all enjoyed your little wake-up call."
Topher grins. "Yes I did, Chris, yes I did!" Everyone else raises an eyebrow at this seemingly masochistic enthusiasm.
Jasmine finally points out what everyone's thinking. "Um, the island looks a little different from how it seemed on TV."
Cameron raises his hand. "Excuse me, Mr. McLean, why is there a biohazard sign over there?"
Chris smirks. "It'll all make sense. Eventually." He begins to laugh. It soon builds to a maniacal cackle. The contestants look at each other, afraid. Chris composes himself. "You see the trail leading into the forest? Follow that to get to your first challenge. Don't upset the wildlife, though. They can get a little… moody."
"Yeah, wouldn't wanna upset the bunnies!" Lightning jabs sarcastically. He elbows Beardo, who chuckles.
Chris continues his warning. "They're very sensitive to sound. So be very, very quiet. Anyways, when you hear the sound of the airhorn, get running!" The piercing sound of an airhorn sends animals roaring and trees shaking. The contestants scream and run down the trail. Chris hops on a quad and takes an alternate route to get to the finish.
Jo is the first to arrive at the finish line. Lightning is close behind. "Sorry you had to lose to a girl," Jo snips.
"Girl? What girl? Lightning didn't lose, bro. Lightning never loses."
Chris emerges from behind a tree. "Congrats on getting here first. Captain Modesty, two steps left, you're on Team A. Yo, Jo, move right, you're Team B." Jasmine and Brick run up next. "Koala colossus. Team A. Corporal Brickhouse! Team B."
Scott is next to cross the line. "Pit sniffer. You're Team A." Zoey and Mike run up. "The lonely Zoey... you're on Team B with Modest Mike."
Amy and Samey run up. "The troublesome twins. Team A."
"Troublesome?" Samey protests. "That's not me, that's... nevermind."
Sky and Shawn run up. "Acrobat. Tinfoil hat. Team B."
Topher is next up. "Chris! Hi! Chris! Dude, the explosion! That rocked!"
"Mini-me. Appreciate the flattery. Team A."
Rodney runs up, and Ella bounds and dances over the finish line, humming.
"Country bumpkin. Team A. Songbird, Team B. Aura whisperer, team A."
Dawn glides unnaturally next to Mike, startling him.
"G'ah!" Mike flinches.
Scarlett, Anne Maria, and B walk over the finish line.
"Brain blast. Team A. Tan in a can, Team B. Silent treatment, team A."
Jo decides to crack a joke. "You're not going to put him on Team B? It's literally his name."
"Shush. Hosting." Dakota, Max, and Cameron walk up. "Princess Wannabe, Team A. Midget mastermind, Team A. Bubble boy, Team B."
Cameron smiles in compliance. "Okie dokie!" Scott scoffs.
Dave jogs over the finish line. "Dave the neurotic. Team B," Chris delegates. Leonard, Staci, and Sugar cross the finish line. "Wizard wimp. Team B. Chatty Staci. Team A. Pageant queen. Team B."
"My Uncle Bill won the New York Marathon 4 times because marathons were proposed by my great-great-great..ugh…" Staci collapses.
Beardo crosses the finish line, looking exhausted. He makes a mechanical powering-down noise. "Noisemaker, Team B." Sam crawls across the finish line. "Yo, game junkie! Team A!" Chris looks around. "So, is that all of you? None of you got taken away by wildlife?"
Leonard instead asks a question. "What the heck was that thing in the forest?"
Scarlett shows concern. "That kind of call doesn't come from any known animal…"
"Relax! I'll explain in a minute." Chris replies. "Now, let me make something clear. in EVERY episode, because there are so many of you, someone WILL be eliminated!"
Everyone gasps in horror.
"Excellent!" Max grins.
"I know, I'm good. But since you're all first timers, I'll give you a get-out-of-jail-free card." Chris pulls out a small wooden bust of himself. "A genuine McLean-brand Chris head. Your free ticket back into the game. If you get the most votes at the campfire ceremony, just whip this bad boy out and you're safe. It will be hidden somewhere on the island!" Chris takes a closer look at the idol. "...Is the cleft on my chin really that big?"
"Yep. And it looks like a butt," Scott snickers.
"I think your face looks great, Chris! I love your face!" Topher praises.
"Moving on…" Chris says. "Time for team names."
"Team Lightning," Lightning suggests. "No, wait, Lightning Squad!"
"Great suggestions, Lightning, but the names have already been chosen by me. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as; the Toxic Rats!"
The response is an uncomfortable silence.
Sam chuckles. "Sick."
"And Team B, you are hereby dubbed; the Mutant Maggots!"
Another silence before Shawn asks "Um, what's with all the references to radiation poisoning?"
Before Chris can answer, the rumble heard in the forest is heard again, this time much closer. The contestants cower in terror. A small, hairless squirrel emerges from the bushes.
Jo's face is a mix of relief and confusion. "Hey, it's just a stupid squirrel."
Dakota bends down to get a closer look. "Aww." The squirrel blinks sideways and Dakota shrieks.
"Oh my gosh, what's wrong with it?" asks Sky.
Chris remains grinning. "While we were gone, I rented the island out to a nice, family-oriented, bio-hazardous chemical waste disposal company. Sweet people, but the nuclear waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna."
The squirrel sticks its tongue out like a frog and eats a butterfly.
Sam chuckles. "Cool."
"Weird... I want one!" Dakota says. The squirrel roars and fires a laser from its eyes. Dakota screams and runs toward her team, landing in Sam's arms. Sam grins sheepishly and Dakota reels back. The squirrel hops off.
"Most. Dangerous. Season. Ever!" Chris cackles, before continuing. "Before we start our first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. Jo, because you made it up here before anyone else, your team gets a trampoline."
Chef demonstrates the trampoline by bouncing up and down on it, stone-faced. "And the Rats get a hacksaw." Chef pulls out a hacksaw. A crack is heard as the jumping causes Chef to dislocate his hip, lose his balance and fall.
Lightning bursts out laughing. Chef throws the hacksaw at Lightning's head, and the blunt edge hits him in the face. "Ah!"
Jo laughs at Lightning before she has the trampoline thrown at her. "Argh!"
Chris points to two large wooden totems hanging from the trees above. "Those are your team totems. Cut them down and ride them down the hill back to the campground. First team there gets to pick the cabins. But hurry - the totems are rigged with a bomb that will explode if you don't plant them in front of your cabin in less than ten minutes. Starting now."
The teams gasp in horror as an electronic beep signals the beginning of the countdown.
On the Rats, Lightning grabs onto the tree trunk. "Stand back, Lightning is on it!" Lightning gets a few feet up before sliding down the tree. "Dang, slippery tree! Don't worry, Lightning never gives up!"
"What if we just shake the tree until it comes down?" Rodney suggests. He puts his brawny arms around the trunk and begins shaking. Lightning falls down again.
"What are you doing bro?" Lightning yells.
Amy joins in on the frustration. "Yeah, lunkhead, use your brain next time, if you have one!"
"Sorry, ma'am," Rodney apologizes.
Dave tries to outline a strategy for the Maggots. "So, obviously, we have to use this trampoline to just bounce up there. Is that even possible?"
"Back off, I want a crack at this!" Anne Maria puts her whole weight into jumping on the trampoline, bounces, and slams into the bottom of the totem pole. The rest of the team winces.
"I've studied every season," Max brags to whoever is listening on the Rats. "I know how to manipulate the game. I know how to find everyone's weakness and exploit it. I'm a ruthless person to play against. A genius." B interrupts him by tapping on his shoulder. "Huh?" B points to a spot underneath the tree. "You want me there?" B nods.
"My great-great-great Aunt Dor actually taught Native Canadians to carve totems," Staci explained.
Sky, for the other team, looks over, brow furrowed. "I'm Cree, and I can assure you that no Aunt Dor taught Native Canadians how to carve totems."
B signals to Staci before she can respond to stand on a large fulcrum B made out of logs. "Huh?" Staci asks, but complying with B's wishes, moves to stand on the side of the fulcrum on the ground. B takes a short run up and jumps on the other side of the fulcrum, launching Staci onto Max's shoulders. "Woah!"
"Hey!" Max exclaims.
On the Maggots, Shawn is climbing up the tree. He is almost level with the top of the totem when he slips. He cries out and grabs onto the side of the totem.
Jo sighs. "Oh, for crying out loud."
Dave airs his frustrations. "Are you kidding me?"
A hairless squirrel hops out of a knothole in the tree.
A lightbulb goes off in Cameron's head. "That's it! Shawn, anger the squirrel!"
"Why would I do that? I- Aaah!" No inducement is required. Like the other one, the squirrel fires a laser from its eyes. Shawn falls off the totem in his attempt to dodge fire. "Ow!"
Cameron picks up a rock from the ground and throws it upward. His throw is so weak that the rock comes straight down and hits him in the face. "Aah! Ok, someone else throw this rock up toward the rope."
"Let me do it, kid," Jo takes the rock and lobs it at the rope. The squirrel sees the movement and fires a laser at the rock. The laser misses the rock but hits the rope, cutting it. The totem falls, narrowly missing Shawn, who is still nursing his injury from the fall. He cries out in alarm.
The team cheers. "Great idea, Cameron!" Sky praises Cameron's intelligence.
"Hurry up, B! They're already finished!" Scott sounds more irritated than panicked. B launches his last player, Topher, up onto the stack of people. The hacksaw is handed up the chain to Topher.
"Cut the rope, Topher!" Jasmine instructs. Topher complies, the totem falls and the Rats cheer.
Max strains under the weight. "Now can you all get off of me?!" He shifts his stance and tries to move, causing everyone to fall.
"Nice going, Max," Scott says, dripping with sarcasm. The rest of the team give Max frustrated glares.
The Maggots are already riding their totem down the hill. The massive wooden object slides through the grass like a summertime sled, wood splintering whenever it hits a rock or other hard object.
Leonard, at the back of the totem, turns around, and sees the Rats have cut down their totem and are now coming down the mountain. "They're gaining on us!"
The Rats continue their descent downward, with B at the front of the totem. He makes an arm motion signaling to move forward. Scarlett, who's sitting behind him, tells the rest of the team "B wants us to lean forward!" They comply, and the shift in weight causes them to speed up.
Down at the cabins, Chris is waiting with Chef. Two cabins are behind them, one obviously way better than the other. The rumble of an approaching totem disrupts them. Into the clearing comes the Mutant Maggots, who's totem slides right in front of the cabins. "Quick, grab the good one!" Shawn points at the palatial residence. The team carries their totem to the stump in front of the cabin. The bomb deactivates and the Maggots cheer.
Their cheering is interrupted by the Rats' totem, which careens recklessly down the hill. It hits a rock, throwing all the campers off the totem and launching the totem airbourne. The totem smashes into the good cabin. Seconds later, the bomb reaches the end of its countdown and activates, completely annihilating what remained of the building.
"NO!" The Maggots cry.
Chris shakes his head. "Too bad. It had an eight-person hot tub and air conditioning."
Anne Maria's temper snaps. "Are you kidding me right now, Chris?" She lunges toward him, ready to strike, but Mike and Sky hold her back.
"Don't get all bitter. As you arrived here first, you still won the challenge!" Chris' triumphant declaration fails to have a positive impact on the Maggots. "Team Rat. Meet me at the campfire ceremony tonight. You're sending someone home. Already." The Rats sigh in frustration.
"Maggots, we've got a back-up cabin for you. It's every bit as nice as the one you lost."
A helicopter drops a new cabin, which looks every bit as dingy and dull as the Rats' cabin, onto the area where the old cabin once was.
"You'll all pay for this!" Max declares. "Every one of you! All of you should be ashamed. It's going to be so easy to outwit the lot of you, you might as well give me the prize now!"
LIGHTNING CONFESSIONAL: Some team! They should have just made Lightning a team of one!
MAX CONFESSIONAL: I've been watching Total Drama since it aired. I've taken notes on all the great strategists. Alejandro, Heather, Justin… I'm basically Alejandro 2.0. I want everyone on my team to know that they should fear me!
RODNEY CONFESSIONAL: I don't think the team likes Staci. That's so sad, because she's so interesting! Who would have thought one person could have so many fascinating relatives?
AMY CONFESSIONAL: This is Samey's fault. I don't know how, it just is.
Nighttime on Wawanakwa. The bright yellow and orange glow of the firepit feebly illuminates the west side of the island. The Toxic Rats sit on tree stumps around the fire.
Chris steps out. "The votes are cast. Those who receive a regular marshmallow can stay. But this season, one player will receive a very special marshmallow. A marshmallow you do not want to eat."
Chef comes out in a hazmat suit holding a metal box. The box has hazardous warnings plastered all over it. He opens the capsule and inside is a marshmallow, glowing an eerie green. "Whoever gets the marshmallow of toxic loserdom is out of the contest. Which means, you can't come back, ever! And I mean, ever!"
"You've said that in other seasons and every season, someone has rejoined," Jasmine points out.
"Yeah, but I mean it this time! There's too many of you for there to be any returnees! We simply would have enough time or episodes." Chris pauses. "Okay, the following people are safe. Dawn. Jasmine. Scarlett. B. Amy and Samey. Lightning. Topher. Scott. Rodney. Sam. Dakota." Chris tosses a marshmallow to all of them. They gratefully accept.
Staci and Max remain marshmallowless. Chris smirks. "Staci and Max. Looks like you're the bottom two." They exchange glances. Staci looks nervous while Max feigns confidence. "And the final marshmallow goes to…
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…Staci."
Staci graciously catches her marshmallow. "My great-great-great-"
"Quiet, girl!" Chef snaps. Chef uses tongs to lob the toxic marshmallow at Max. Max gets hit in the face with the radiating marshmallow, which leaves a burn mark. "Ow! Are you kidding me? I did everything right! My strategy was flawless!"
"What strategy? You just complained and told us all you were going to vote us off," Scott remarks.
"Yeah, we really had no choice, mate," Jasmine added. "If someone's threatening me like that, it's best just to eliminate them as soon as possible."
"But that's what… no! You can't…"
Max walks down the Dock of Shame. The Boat of Losers looks slightly different. It's a small, closed-cabin, metallic army-grade boat. Biohazard symbols are all over it. "Yeah, the boat looks slightly different this year. We call it the Detox of Shame! Mostly because our lawyers say we have to do this." Chef grabs a hose from the boat and sprays Max down. Max sputters and complains as he is drenched in water. "It's just to hose off any lingering radiation. It'll clean you up. We think." Chris chuckles.
"You'll pay for this desecration!" Max shakes a soaking-wet fist.
"Yeah, whatever. I don't talk to losers," Chris says, and shoves Max into the boat.
"Hey! Get back here, Chris!" Max cries as the boat departs.
The boat departs and Chris turns to the camera. "One down, to go. Who's next? Find out next time, right here on Total! Drama! Revenge Of The Island!"