AN: A lot of people seem to have different versions of what happened that caused James Potter to mature and ultimately caused Lily Evans to fall in love with him; the war with Voldemort, realising he'd never have a chance with Lily unless he changed, etc. I do think these all played a part, but I also think James' reasons might have been a lot less selfish...
The night began like many of the previous nights of the full moon had; Remus was led into the whomping willow by a Professor while James, Sirius and Peter waited in the castle, killing time for a few hours before they could sneak out, transform into their animagi forms, and join him.
It was almost Halloween during their sixth year at Hogwarts, and much to Lily Evans' surprise and relief, Potter hadn't asked her out or deliberately annoyed her even once. He was still annoying and obnoxious of course, but now that she was no longer friends with Severus, she wasn't around to see if Potter and his friends were still getting into fights with him, and since returning to school Potter had maintained a distant politeness with Lily. Mary claimed it was because Potter felt guilty for what happened at the end of last year, Lily wasn't sure, but as long as he kept up this new stance of not bothering her, she didn't really care.
Just as she was musing over this, the boy in question approached where she was sitting, alone by the fire in the common room. "Evans," he greeted, and though there was nothing in his tone that suggested he had regressed to his behavior's of the year gone, she was wary nonetheless. "Yes?" she replied, having already decided that if he was willing to be civil, she would be too. "I was wondering if you're finished with the book for the charms essay? All the copies in the library were gone, and I figured you'd have the essay done quickest of anyone. I was hoping to get started on it tonight." It wasn't that Lily was shocked at the notion of James Potter doing homework; she knew he did work hard, she'd just rarely seen it with her own eyes, so the fact he was asking her for a book when the essay wasn't due for another week did catch her a little off guard. Still, this was a much better alternative than pranking or teasing her. "Yeah, I'm finished with it, I'll get it for you now," she told him as she started rummaging through her bag. "Thank you." It took her a minute to find it, and she was just handing it to him when Sirius burst through the common room door, grinning madly.
"Prongs," he greeted James, using those nicknames Lily didn't understand, "You'll never guess what I've done," he said, sounding mighty proud of himself. James took the book from Lily with a nod of thanks before going over to his friend. Sirius started saying something to him, and though she didn't mean to be nosy, Lily couldn't help noticing the way James seemed to be tensing, getting angry. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she caught the words "Snivellus" and "furry situation" and sighed. She may not be friends with Severus anymore, she may not even like the person he'd became, but she still wished they wouldn't prank him. Before she could decide whether or not to go over and tell them off, something happened that she hadn't been expecting.
James grabbed Sirius by his collar, his face a mask of anger, and pushed his best friend up against the wall. "What did you do?" he practically shouted in Sirius' face, gaining the attention of the handful of students lounging about the common room. Sirius mumbled something Lily couldn't understand, causing James to release him roughly and rake his hands down his face. "What were you thinking?" he demanded, but didn't seem to care about the answer, because he paced for a moment before saying "I need to stop him." Lily hadn't a clue what was going on, so when Potter's gaze landed on her, his expression more angry and grim than she'd ever thought possible of the prankster, she didn't balk when he practically gave her an order. "Evans," he said, tone frighteningly serious, "I need you to go get McGonagall, take Sirius with you, get him to tell her what's going on. It's important, be quick." Lily was stunned for a moment, and he was already turning away, "Wait, Potter, what's going on-" "There's no time," he shouted back at her, practically leaping through the portrait hole and sprinting away.
Shocked and unsure, Lily decided to do as he asked. Looking at Sirius, she saw he'd gone pale, his face a mess of horror and fear. "Come on," she said, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him after her. He didn't object, he seemed unable to, stuck inside his head as he realized he'd done something awful.
Lily led the way, running as fast as her feet would allow. Fortunately, she didn't have to get all the way to McGonagall's office, Lily almost ran over her in the middle of a corridor. "Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall reprimanded, "what on earth are you doing sprinting through the corridors like that?" "Looking for you, Professor," Lily panted, "Something's happened, I don't know what exactly but Potter said to come get you, to get Black to tell you." McGonagall only seemed to notice Sirius then, possibly because for the first time in his life, the boy was quiet, looking down at the floor shamefully. McGonagall took in his demeanor and seemed to grasp that something was indeed wrong. "Black?" she said, "What's going on?" Sirius gulped, then said, in barely more than a whisper, looking deathly pale, "I wasn't thinking, I-I didn't mean to. It was supposed to be a prank." "Black," McGonagall said again, more urgently. "I told Snape how to get into the whomping willow," he finally whispered, "I wasn't thinking. James is gone after him, to try and stop him."
McGonagall gasped, the colour draining from her face. Lily still wasn't sure what was going on but then she saw McGonagall look out the window with fear, look out at the full moon. Lily had had her suspicions about Remus for a while now... and something serious enough to make Potter look so grim. She let out her own gasp as the pieces clicked together; Sirius had told Severus how to get into the place where Remus transformed, he was going to come face to face with a werewolf, and Potter was about to risk his life too, to stop it from happening.
Pulling herself together, McGonagall addressed Sirius, "Go wait in my office, Mr. Black. You're not to leave it under any circumstances." Sirius nodded, then McGonagall took off. She hadn't told Lily where to go, so as Sirius went to McGonagall's office, Lily followed her professor. They raced through the castle and down the sloping grounds, if McGonagall noticed Lily was beside her, she didn't waste time telling her to return to the castle. Just as the whomping willow came into view, the branches froze.
Lily watched, barely able to breathe, as James appeared, walking backwards with his arms hooked under Severus', pulling the other boy with him out of the tree. Once safely outside the reach of the branches, Potter dumped Severus onto the ground, then leaned over, hands on his knees, panting. He only had a moments relief, he hadn't taken any notice of Severus standing, and Severus gave Potter no warning as he hurled a curse at him. Potter's quidditch reflexes served him well, and he just managed to dodge the curse. "What are you doing?" Potter demanded angrily. "You tried to kill me," Severus shouted back, hurling another curse which Potter now deflected with his wand. "I just saved your life, you git," Potter shouted back, continuing to dodge and deflect the curses flying at him.
"Enough," McGonagall shouted, "Mr. Snape, lower your wand," she said, approaching them. Lily took them in, noticing the bleeding gash on Snape's side, made of three jagged claw marks that had torn his robes, and a similar injury on Potter's arm.
"Were either of you bitten?" McGonagall asked gravely. "No, Professor," Potter answered for them both, "just clawed."
McGonagall sighed in relief, and so did Lily. This could've gone a lot worse... if Potter hadn't acted. She observed the boy, hardly recognizing him with his still grim expression.
"Very well," McGonagall said, "Go to the hospital wing, both of you, I'll come speak to you shortly."
"Professor," said Potter, "Sirius-"
"Mr. Black has acted exceedingly dangerously," McGonagall said, "the consequences of his actions will be severe, but they have not yet been decided." Potter nodded. "I'm not really hurt," he said, "may I come with you?" There was something in Potter's face, a fear for his friend, a grim understanding of the serious consequences his friend was facing, that made McGonagall nod. "Very well, Potter," she said before turning to the other boy; "Mr. Snape, go to the hospital wing. Do not speak a word of what has happened here to anyone, I'll come speak to you after I've dealt with Black."
"Dealt with him?" Snape spat, "He should be expelled, he should be sent to Azkaban, he tried to kill me. And Potter too, he was in on it-" "That's enough," McGonagall snapped. "Go, now."
Severus turned to Lily, looking at her as if he was expecting her to take his side, but she turned away from him, inadvertently facing James, but Potter wasn't looking at her, in fact she had a feeling his eyes weren't seeing anything, whatever thoughts were in his mind were consuming all his concentration. Lily heard Severus stomp away as they followed McGonagall back into the castle.
"Did you know what Mr. Black had intended?" McGonagall asked James. "No," was all Potter said. Feeling like more should be added in Potter's defence, Lily spoke, "He couldn't have Professor, he was speaking to me when Sirius came in and told James what he'd done. As soon as he heard, he told me to come find you and raced off to stop Severus."
McGonagall nodded. "That was dangerous and foolish," McGonagall said to Potter, "but if you hadnt acted I can't even imagine the consequences for Mr. Snape, Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin."
James just nodded. "Do you have any idea why Mr. Black would have done such a thing?" she asked him.
James sighd heavily. "Sirius has always been rash, acting on emotions without thinking," he began, telling them something they all knew. "It's no secret that his family are big supporters of Voldemort or that he's been a constant disappointment to them; being in Gryffindor, not subscribing to their purist bullshit," James continued, Lily didn't even think he noticed he'd cursed in front of McGonagall, but the Professor didn't correct him, now wasnt the time for such things.
"Half of his acting out throughout the years has been because he knows it annoys them. Then, this summer, they gave him an ultimatum; he could either become a Death Eater or he could get out of their house." Lily gasped, and even Professor McGonagall seemed appalled, but James continued without taking notice of their reactions. "When he chose the latter, they didn't take it very well. By the time he arrived at my place he was a bruised, bloody mess. The only reason he kept going back there every year was for Regulus, he begged Regulus to come live with him at my place too, but Regulus wouldn't, he's always been more willing to live by their parents' standards. It's no secret that half the Slytherin lot are on their way to becoming Death Eaters and Sirius feels like he's watching Regulus go down that path without being able to do anything to stop him. Then earlier today, Sirius saw Snape and Regulus speaking, he jumped to the conclusion that Snape was recruiting Regulus and he got angry." Potter paused, running his hands through his hair. "I should have known he'd do something stupid, I never should have left him alone, he said he just needed time to himself. I bet as soon as he bumped into Snape, the idea just popped into his head and he acted without a seconds thought."
Potter was visibly upset, anger at Sirius' actions and fear for the consequences he would face clear. "Mr. Black's actions are not your fault," Professor McGonagall said, not unkindly, but Potter barely seemed to absorb her words.
"What will happen to him?" He asked, "will he be expelled?"
"I'm afraid in serious situations like this, Mr. Blacks punishment is outside my control," McGonagall told him honestly.
"He deserves to be," James said, shocking both McGonagall and Lily, "He deserves worse than that, he shouldn't have done it. But Professor, if you have any input at all, please don't let him be. Sirius is rash and self destructive on his best days. He needs the routine of school and the influence of his friends to stay on track. Without them the path he'll go down... this is his only chance at a good life," James said. "Give him detention until he graduates, give him so much extra work he doesn't even have time to think about breaking rules, give him a curfew, make him stay in the common room outside of meals or classes, but Professor, if he's expelled it'll ruin his only chance at a proper life."
If it were any other situation, Lily might mistake Potter's words for excuses to get his friend out of trouble, but Potter was still wearing that expression, that grimness, that mix of anger and fear, the uncharacteristic seriousness, and his voice had an earnestness that couldn't be faked. She surprised herself by wishing he'd go back to being the immature prankster, because she'd never wish the weight he seemed to be carrying for his friend on anyone.
"I understand, Potter," McGonagall said softly, "and I will do what I can, but even if he isn't expelled, he'll be on such thin ice that so much as another detention and-"
"I'll keep him in check Professor," Potter vowed, "I swear to you, there'll be no more pranks, no more sneaking out, no more rule breaking. I won't let him so much as whisper in class, he'll have his work done on time, he'll clean up his act. I promise."
When a prankster makes a vow to be good, it's only common sense not to believe them. Sure, maybe they'll behave for a few weeks or a month, but when it's as ingrained in someone as it is Sirius and James, it's often impossible not to revert back to their old ways. Still, once again, Lily surprised herself with believing him. He meant every word he said, and it seemed Professor McGonagall believed him too.
"It is not your place to take responsibility for another students actions," she said, "but nonetheless, I will take your words into account, and hopefully they'll help sway the decision in regards to Mr. Blacks punishment."
They had already arrived at McGonagall's office and had been standing outside speaking for a few minutes at this stage. "Wait out here, Potter," she said, then went into the room where Sirius was waiting, along with Professor Dumbledore. She seemed to have entirely forgotten Lily was with them.
James leant back against the wall before slowly sliding to the floor then resting his forehead on his bent knees. Lily joined him a moment later, keeping a few feet between them.
"You saved Snape's life," she said, unable to help herself, using Severus' last name in an attempt not to antagonise him.
Perhaps it was all the emotional turmoil in Potter at the moment, or perhaps it was just that due to their history he always expected her to think the worst of him, but he clearly mistook the admiration in her voice for surprise.
"Having a school rivalry with someone isn't the same as wanting them dead, Evans," he snapped, "I wasn't just going to let him die."
"I didn't mean it like that," Lily told him, choosing not to get worked up over his tone of voice, "I meant you risked your own life to save his, you could have died too. You could have just gone to McGonagall yourself and tried to get to her in time."
James shook his head. "I knew there wouldn't be enough time. And it wasn't just about Snape. If Remus had hurt him it wouldn't have mattered to the Ministry that he didn't know what he was doing or that he was underage, he would've been locked in Azkaban by this time tomorrow. And Sirius isn't that far off seventeen, if Snape had ended up dead he'd probably be done for murder and join Remus there."
Lily had known this situation was serious but the gravity of it suddenly hit her.
"What are you even doing here, Evans?" James asked suddenly, looking at her as if he'd only just processed the fact she was actually sitting next to him.
Lily shrugged, "I'm not really sure, McGonagall never told me I had to go back to the common room, I figured you might want someone to wait with you..." she trailed off, unsure how he'd take her presumptuousness, but to her relief, he just nodded. "Thanks," he mumbled.
They fell into silence, not an uncomfortable one, as the waited. After a few minutes they could hear McGonagall shouting, her raised voice carrying to them in the corridor.
"Of course you weren't thinking, Black," she yelled, "if you were, you would have realised your actions could have gotten Snape and Potter killed, and landed yourself and Lupin in Azkaban. I know you dislike Snape, but I would have thought better of you than to want him dead. Did you?"
They couldn't hear Sirius' reply, but Lily guessed it was a no.
"Well what about Potter and Lupin? They are your best friends, are they not? How would you have felt if you got Potter killed? If you destroyed Lupin's life?"
Again, they couldn't hear what Sirius said, but whatever it was it must have calmed McGonagall at least somewhat, because they couldn't hear any more of what was going on inside.
After what seemed like an age, the door finally opened and a weary looking Sirius emerged. When he saw James was waiting for him, he stared at the floor, unable to meet his friends eyes.
McGonagall followed him out and observed the three students. "Straight to your dormitories, all of you," she said sternly. Sirius started walking immediately, and James kept pace with his friend, but Lily hung back a little to give them some space to talk, just themselves. She could still hear what they were saying as she followed them, but at least they had the illusion of privacy.
"Well," Potter demanded, "Are you expelled?"
"No," Sirius said, and Lily saw Potter's shoulders sag with relief. "I have detention for the foreseeable future, I'm band from Hogsmeade trips, and I'm off the quidditch team," Sirius told James.
"I'd have kicked you off the team anyways," James snapped at his friend.
Sirius nodded. "They said that if I get so much as one more detention this year, then I'm out."
"Then we're done," James told him, "I mean it, no more pranks, no more sneaking out. You're going to be so well behaved they'll think you've had a personality transplant, you hear me? Or I swear, I'll kill you myself."
Sirius didn't seem surprised by the vehemence in James' voice.
"Okay," he whispered, then, "Do you think Moony will ever forgive me?"
James sighed. "You've messed up big, Padfoot. I'm sure Remus will forgive you eventually, but it'll take time. You almost destroyed his life, you've let Snape find out about his secret, you used him tonight to play what you considered a prank."
"I know," Sirius said heavily, voice laced with guilt.
"And now he's alone, he's going to have the worst night he's had in months because we can't-" Potter cut himself off, glancing back at Lily. "He'll be in bad shape tomorrow," Potter said, instead of whatever else he'd meant, but Sirius seemed to have understood what he was talking about.
"I really messed up," he sighed.
"Yeah, you did," said Potter as they reached the portrait hole and entered the common room.
"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered.
Potter grimaced. "I'm not the one you have to apologise to, but there are plenty of people you can say you're sorry to, including Remus and Snape." The fact that Sirius didn't even balk at the idea of apologising to Snape showed that he understood how in trouble he was.
"I'll help you make this right," James promised his friend, "Now its late, let's get some sleep."
Sirius nodded, heading up to their dormitory. James glanced at Lily before following him.
"Thanks, Lily," He said quietly.
She wasn't sure if he meant for getting McGonagall, for staying with him while he waited, or for something else entirely, but he was gone before she could ask. She was already in bed before she realised he'd called her by her first name.
The next morning, Lily was out of bed early to go and see Remus, but as she approached the doors of the hospital wing, she realised his friends had beaten her there. Once again, she stood back, allowing them their privacy to talk.
"I can't believe you'd do this, Sirius," Remus was saying, more angry than she'd ever heard him. "I know, I'm sorry-" Sirius started to say, but Remus didn't want to hear it. "Out, just get out," he shouted. A moment later, Sirius came through the doors, not even noticing her as she pressed her back against the wall to avoid him trampling her.
"Go keep an eye on him," came Potter's voice, "watch him and don't let him do anything else stupid." Another moment and Peter came out, racing off after Sirius.
"I'm sorry, Moony," said Potter, voice heavy. Lily heard Remus sigh. "You don't have anything to be sorry about," he said, "if it wasn't for you... thank you, James. If you hadn't acted, I don't even want to think about what would've happened."
"You'd have done the same, Remus," Potter said.
"You don't give yourself enough credit," Remus argued, "You risked your life last night to save someone you don't even like. You could've gotten killed, or worse, you could've ended up like me."
"It's not a big deal," Potter said, and Lily couldn't see him, but she thought he sounded embarrassed. "Yes it is. You're so quick to let everyone see that careless, arrogant side of you, but you hide the best parts of yourself."
There was a moment of silence, she imagined James most have smiled or shrugged or shook his head, or done something else she couldn't see, before James spoke again.
"Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive him?" He asked.
"I don't know," Remus said. "I would never have thought he'd be able to do something like this."
"I'm not going to defend him," James said, "but we've always known he's rash. I can't ignore him or give him the cold shoulder, I'm afraid if I do he could do something even worse."
"I know," Remus agreed, "You're the only person he's ever listened to, he needs you to keep him in line right now."
"I will," James said, "but I want to make sure you're okay too."
"I'll be alright, Dumbledore has made Snape swear not to tell anyone, as long as he keeps his word..."
"Yeah," James sighed heavily. "I'm going to go check on Peter, this whole thing has really upset him too, I want to make sure he's alright, and if Sirius does decide to do something, he's not going to let Peter stop him. I'll come by later again, okay?"
"Alright," Remus said, "thank you again James, I don't know where any of us would be if it wasn't for you."
As James left the hospital wing, Lily entered it, and she shot him a small smile as they passed eachother. He looked a little surprised at first, but he returned it with one of his own before leaving.
The last few hours had been a whirl wind, but despite herself, what Lily found she was thinking about most, was how in only a few hours, her opinion of James Potter had changed so much. Remus was right, he easily showed the obnoxious side of himself, but there was a lot more beneath the surface. She'd seen how nice he could be to his friends, but she'd never really stopped to notice it before. Now, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous of his friends; she'd never, ever had a friend like that before, who would go to those lengths for someone just because he cared about them. Her sister had long since turned her back on her, even before Severus and her had fallen out, he never would've shown that level of selflessness, and though she considered herself to be friends with the other Gryffindor girls, she knew that they're friendship didn't come close to the bond these boys shared. For the very first time in her life, but not the last, the idea of being James Potter friend was something she actually wanted. She had a feeling that once James cared about someone, there was no lengths he wouldn't go to to keep them safe or happy.