Raven was avoiding him. It was driving him crazy. It had only been going on for a little over a week and a half but he was losing his wits. Every time he tried to talk to her, her answers were always short and direct, not leaving any room for casual conversation like he was used to.
At first, he had given her space, thinking she was just overwhelmed with the others' energy and needed time by herself to re-energize. Then he caught Starfire sneaking out of Raven's room late at night when he had decided to come check on her. Star seemed flustered by his presence, unable to answer any of his questions as she tried skirting away from the room as quickly as possible.
Raven continued to turn him down. She wouldn't let him in her room, wouldn't talk to him, could barely look at him. He'd been racking his brain for days trying to figure out if he'd done something to upset her and what it possibly could have been but he kept coming up short. The days before the sudden change she had been seemingly fine; sarcastic and snippy as usual, but she had been hanging out in the living room with the others like nothing was wrong. She'd smiled and joked with him like normal and then the next day everything completely flipped.
Normally he could push past the nagging in his brain that forced him to dwell on certain issues. He could throw himself into a case or an investigation and delve all his attention into something else while Raven took the time she needed to recuperate. But the city had been uncharacteristically quiet and the circumstances were just so bizarre. As far as he could tell there was absolutely no rhyme or reason for her to cut him off like this. He expected her to act like this to Beastboy on occasion, or any of the others in the house if she was feeling feisty on any particular day, but not him.
Robin's brain hardly has time to focus on the continuous coincidences of oddities as a gaggle of women spill out of Raven's room as he approaches. Hushed whispers come to a halt as three pairs of wide eyes turn to regard him with surprise. Robin can't help but mirror the look back to them, the four of them all staring silently at each other in the hall. Karen, Star, and Terra slowly turn to exchange glances, a silent conversation passing behind their eyes before turning back to face him with smirks planted firmly on their faces.
"Um," He stares at them.
"Richard," Karen greets him, her smile blazing.
"Karen," He nods in response. "Is Raven in her room?"
"She is," Terra answers smugly.
"And I think she might be expecting you," Karen pipes in cheerily.
Robin arches a brow in response, eyeing each of their faces trying to decipher the hidden puzzle behind their eyes.
"Oh," Richard blinks. "Uh, good. Okay then." He nods, still watching them warily.
The four stare at each other in expectant silence, each of them waiting for some stone to turn over that will shed light on what's going on. The cogs turn slowly in his brain, clicking into place when they finally make a full rotation.
"Wait, why is she expecting me?" Robin asks, finally processing Karen's words.
"Seems you two have been pretty busy lately," Terra snickers.
"Raven just wanted to go over your future… workload," Karen smiles.
Terra snorts out a laugh, her face flush with amusement as she covers her mouth with her hand and turns to hide her face in Starfire's shoulder. Robin watches the three of them with bewilderment, trying to understand their amusement and vague insinuations.
"Guys, Friend Raven said she was waiting until—" Starfire grunts as Karen elbows her sharply in the side, cutting off the Tamarenean's statement.
"Star," Karen warns her before turning her smile back toward Robin.
"Perhaps he-" Star is cut off by another nudge from Terra.
Star huffs in frustration, shooting a glare at the other girls as she crosses her arms over her chest.
"Don't worry, Star, I'm sure we'll hear all about it later," Terra mutters lowly, trying to keep her volume below Robin's attention and he frowns.
"And then you'll update me," Karen agrees. "But until then I think the birds have some preening to do," She throws her arms over Starfire and Terra's shoulders and turns to begin ushering them down the hall. "See you later, Rob!" She calls over her shoulder with a wink.
Robin stares perplexed as the trio chittering their way down the hall only further aids to the bizarre nature of Raven's recent demeanor. Collecting his thoughts he sighs, shaking his head clear, and turns towards the dark metal door to her room. The nerves swarm in his stomach and a stab of pain distracts him as a thought crosses his mind that he can't remember the last time he'd felt this way coming to interact with her. The door slides open before he can fully raise his hand to knock on the slick metal and he blinks in surprise.
"You might as well come in," Raven's raspy voice greets him, her tired eyes searching him out through the dark interior.
He follows her instructions, slipping into her room as the door shuts quickly behind him and engulfs them in darkness. The silence creeps over them, Raven seemingly making no effort to start a conversation and the tension in the room makes him nervous to do the same. Even the first few weeks after their initial introduction he hadn't felt this apprehensive to talk to her or try and pry information out of her.
Watching her now, she still refused to look at him, keeping her body angled away from him as she kept her arms wrapped around her body in a self-soothing hug and her eyes locked intently on the carpet in front of her. His lingering gaze doesn't seem to phase her, she remains still and despondent like a phantom in the center of her room. Simply breathing too loud felt like it would disrupt her presence, the hair on his body prickled with chills and his stomach felt suddenly hollow.
"Did you need something?" Raven asks finally, her voice gentle and controlled.
There was something pointed about her voice that further unnerved him. The snappy underlying heat made his brain fizzle uncomfortably.
"Did I do something wrong?" Robin asks, his voice wavering.
Raven shakes her head, "It's just as much my fault as it is yours,"
"So something is wrong?" He insists.
She sighs harshly but remains silent, holding her arms close to her chest and staring intently at the ground. The silence ticks on uncomfortably for what feels like minutes, the nerves building in his body as he watches her and waits anxiously.
"Are you breaking up with me?" He asks finally, his voice soft but calculated.
"What? No. I—" She cuts herself off shaking her head in disbelief at his statement. "I think I might be pregnant," Raven chokes out.
Huh? She what? Robin blinks, his mouth falling open in surprise, no words falling out. It closes and opens a few times like a gaping fish until he's able to swallow tightly, his heart reverberating through his entire chest. His brain melts to pudding and slides down the back of his throat, boiling in his stomach with an immediate overwhelming wave of dread.
"Oh," He finally responds.
"Oh," She scoffs at his response, turning away from him to sit on the edge of her bed, folding her arms over her stomach defensively.
Robin can't help but stare at her stomach as if it would protrude at any second as proof of her statement. It's not like he didn't believe her but he was certainly in disbelief.
"How—" He bites his tongue as she shoots him a glare as if she'd read the words out of his mind before he'd even said them. "—do you know?" He changes the question quickly.
Raven stares at him, her eyes hard but pooling with tears. She had to be struggling with keeping herself together right now, tears weren't something he saw on her face often.
"Mostly a feeling," She mumbles, cradling her lower stomach. "I don't know how to describe it, and it's not like I've ever experienced this before."
"Is that why uh," He gestures towards her closed door, where the other girls had recently departed.
She nods with a half shrug. "I didn't know if any of them had experienced it or felt it before. But I also just had to tell someone,"
"Rae, why didn't you tell me?" He asks exasperated. "We're supposed to be in this together, you could have talked to me."
"I was scared!" She shouts, the tears threatening to spill at any second.
"Of me?" Robin frowns, tensing slightly.
Raven's expression shifts to surprise before falling back to a more neutral but tight composure. "No," She balks. "You've never scared me. It's—"
She shuts her eyes, looking away from him as she tenses her jaw and her hands clenched into fists
"What?" Robin asks, slowly moving closer to her.
"I can't be pregnant, Robin." The tears finally fall, staining her flushed cheeks. "Do you know what this could do to me?"
"Hey," He moved to hold either side of her arms. "If you are pregnant, we can work through it. Together."
"You don't understand." She pulls away from him, shrinking in on herself. "Do you know what the number one thing pregnant women experience?"
He remained silent, frowning slightly, not wanting to upset her further with the wrong answer.
"Hormones." She spits exasperated. "I don't know if I can handle that, and there's nothing you would be able to do to fix that." She shakes her head
"No, maybe not fix, but I can help you work through them. That's what partners are supposed to do." Robin argues.
"And what if the baby has my powers?" She shoots. "Baby emotions are even more unstable than mine. Are you going to be able to deal with both a wife and a baby that can't control their powers?"
"Whoa, now you're my wife? We only just got the baby." Robin's eyes rise in surprise.
"Richard," She whines, shutting her eyes.
"Rae, listen." He moves to embrace her again. "I know I'm not going to have the answers for everything, especially when it comes to having a kid. But I love you, okay? I trust you more than anyone. If I was going to raise a child with anyone, I would be lucky to have the experience with you. As far as what happens with your emotions and the babies, those are all bridges we can cross when we come to them. But if a regular human woman can get through it, you're a thousand times stronger than any human I've ever met, so I'm sure we can do it together."
She looks up at him, the tears streaming silently from her eyes, her lips quivering as she pulls her arms to wrap around her stomach. "What if Trigon comes for them?"
A chill passes over Robin's body as the question falls from her lips. It wasn't something he'd ever considered being a possibility, the defeat of banishing Trigon from earth felt like such an ancient victory the terror himself barely passed through Robin's mind. The idea that he could come back with the potential of another portal for him to wreak havoc on the world was daunting. He couldn't even imagine the idea of the portal being his own child. Even if Trigon wasn't a concern, he knew all too well a child could be exploited, especially one with powers, and he didn't want to bring a life into the world only to have it be used against him.
"We stopped him before, we could do it again." He says finally, though slightly unsure of his answer.
Raven stares at him, challenging his confidence and he tries to nod reassuringly.
"So if there is a baby you would want to keep it?" She asks flatly, more like an accusatory statement.
He blinks at the question, his mind fizzling as it swarms with possibilities of the future. A child was never something he'd really even thought about or considered seriously before now. But neither was the idea that even if something was growing in her stomach, they could just terminate it. As soon as his brain conjures the thought it's hard not to think of it as the obvious answer to the problem.
Looking back up to stare into her hard and slightly despondent eyes he tries to read the inner turmoil brewing within her only to be met with a wall. It wasn't the same ever-controlled stone he was accustomed to, though she looked as unemotional and placid as ever he could see the lack of light behind her eyes and the slack of her body, barely able to hold herself up. The stone was cracking.
"What would you want to do?" Robin asks, looking up at her face.
"What?" She asks sharply.
"If you are pregnant," He swallows, pausing. "Would you want to keep it?"
She stares at him in disbelief, "How could you ask me that?"
"I think it's a pretty fair question," He frowns.
"I—," Her cheeks flush with color as she stares at him in terror. Her eyes study his face, seeming to be searching for answers behind the mask or amongst the creases in his skin. "I can't see myself being a mother," She admits.
"Can I ask why not?" Robin asks gently, lowering his tone to ease her.
"Have you met me, Richard?" She huffs, arching a brow at him.
He can tell she's trying to joke away the discomfort, but the way she dips her gaze back down to her lap makes him note there's a layer of insecurity behind the words.
"I'm serious," He ignores her attempt to divert. "Why don't you think you would make a good mom?"
"Ugh," Raven nearly gags at the label. "A child calling me that?" She shivers.
He arches a brow, resting his arms above her knees as he relaxes into his crouch in front of her. "I think you'd be great at it,"
She curls a lip looking down at him.
"You were great with Melvin, Timmy, and Teether," Robin says.
"Yes, but that's different. I didn't raise them. I didn't give birth to them. I can send them back where they belong when we're done watching them," Raven argues.
"And imagine how much more you would love a child that's ours. A little you. A little me." He tries to paint a dreamy picture for her.
"Am I the only one that remembers what we happen to do for a living?" Raven says exasperatingly.
"No," He says. "But I'm saying you being a mother would be the least of our problems."
"Thanks," She responds flatly, crossing her arms and turning away from him with a heavy sigh.
He watches her silently for a moment, waiting to see if she has anything else to say.
"We could…" He starts but falters, unsure how to phrase it sensitively.
"Abort it?" She finishes sharply.
Robin flushes at her bluntness, his mouth falling open slightly as he nods.
"I'm considering it." She acknowledges.
"Would you be okay with that?" He asks.
"More okay than being a mother right now," She says.
"Okay," Robin nods.
"Okay ?" Raven turns to look at him. "So what? You have no thoughts on the matter? No disappointment in losing a potential child? You're not going to try and persuade me to keep it?"
He frowns at her tone and shakes his head. "Rae, I'll support whatever decision you think is best for us."
He stands to move closer to her, extending his arms out to her slowly, allowing her to reject the action if she wants to. She remains still, allowing him to embrace her, one hand resting on her back while he brings the other down to rest over her hands cradling her stomach.
"As well as I like to think I know you, you'll always know yourself better. If you don't feel like you're ready to be a parent then I'm going to trust your call. I'm not going to ask you to be pregnant for me, especially when I had never really thought about having kids before now either. But I can't lie, I'm not opposed to the idea of starting a family with you,"
"Just not now," She finishes gently for him, looking up into his eyes and he nods.
Raven sighs, slumping into his arms and relaxing her forehead against his chest, allowing him to embrace her tighter. He rubs his hands soothingly along her back, resting his head against hers and breathing in the calming lavender herbal smell of her hair. He could feel her deep steady breaths against his chest, inhaling his scent to aid in keeping herself calm.
"Have you taken a test yet?" Robin breaks the silence finally.
Raven sniffles, her raspy voice sounding stuffy "No. I had Karen bring me some,"
She moves out of his arms and over to a bag on her dresser. Dumping out the contents he sees a multitude of boxes with different shade variations of pinks, purples, and whites. She spreads them out and stares at them apprehensively as if they would come alive and attack at any second.
"Did you need so many?" Robin asks, peeking over her shoulder at the different brands of pregnancy tests.
"I told her I wanted to be a hundred percent sure before I told you," Raven mutters, lining the boxes up before lifting up one of the smaller rectangles and arching a brow at a bar of Hershey chocolate. "I think Star tried to help. Can babies have chocolate?"
She holds the bar up to him inquisitively and he can't help but laugh.
"I don't know, you better give it to me just to be safe," He chuckles, plucking the bar from her fingers.
She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the boxes in front of her. Robin slides the chocolate bar back onto the dresser and turns back to watch her eyes scanning over the labels. He can see the war waging behind her eyes. The first step to solving their problem was finding an answer to their question, but the reality of taking the tests just made the problem all the more real. He lifts his hand to rest on her back reassuringly and her body jolts as if she'd forgotten he was there.
"You can do this," Robin whispers to her encouragingly.
Raven's brow furrows in a combination of concentration and determination. Biting her lip, her head seems to bob in consideration, a silent conversation likely happening under the surface of her mind.
"Should I just take all of them?" She asks, slowly opening each of the boxes to pull out a singular test from each of them.
"Do you have that much pee in your body?" He asks.
"What kind of weird ass question is that?" She deadpans, pausing her motion momentarily and he shrugs defensively. "Is that a yes to 'I should take them all?'"
Robin shrugs again but nods. "I guess to be completely sure. Like you said."
"Okay," She mumbles, fanning the plastic sticks out in her hand to look at them individually. "I hate this," She says, her eyes still focused on the tests as if she hadn't meant to say the thought aloud.
"The sooner we know the sooner we can start figuring out what we're going to do," Robin says.
She sighs and nods. "Alright. I'll be right back,"
"Wait," He calls to her, stopping her as she begins moving towards the door. "You don't want me to come with you?"
"I don't need your help peeing on the sticks," She responds monotonously. "It takes five minutes for most of them to develop."
"And what? I'm just supposed to wait here unknowing all by myself?" He tries to keep his emotions low, but his heart feels like it's beating in his stomach.
"Yup," She deadpans, exiting the room quickly, not giving him another chance to stop her.
Robin stares at the dark metal door as it closes behind her and takes a few breaths to try and settle his heart. Pregnant. Pregnant. The word continues to echo through his head as he tries to organize his thoughts. It feels like his life is flashing before his eyes, but only a dreaded future he never expected to live through. Images of a child with his hair and Raven's eyes flicker through his mind. A baby with a toothless gummy smile and chubby cheeks that resembled Raven's soft round face. His heart stings and his stomach churns. It's not the worst picture in the world to imagine. For the future of course.
He can't help but think about the questions she'd posed her concerns. The child would be mostly human…but the demon lineage would still be there, and that likely meant so would her powers. Jagged red rocks and blazing heat cross his mind as he thinks back on finding Raven small and all alone in hell, scared and powerless. How long had it taken for her powers to develop as a child? When had the monks deemed her too dangerous they had to resort to dampening her emotions and containing her power? He's not sure he would be able to do the same to a child of his own.
A child of his own… He can't help but think back to himself as a child, his own childhood, and what he would make better. How it could be different. Would he really be able to make a better life for a child? Realistically that's what his job had been since Bruce took him in– making the world a better place. Sure he struggled with morality and motives but ultimately everything he had done was with the intent to be good.
Would he be able to juggle both being a hero and a father? The word drifting through his head almost makes him heave and he suddenly understands Raven's reaction to the prospect of being called a "mother ". It was daunting in a completely foreign way. Robin was so used to jumping into action, facing his problems head-on with determination; but this was a scenario that he couldn't rush into. If they did keep the baby it would be a constant game of growing his patience. Waiting through the nine months of pregnancy, all the stages of the child growing and learning and becoming a person. If the baby had powers would they want to fight crime like their parents? Would they rebuke their parent's lifestyle and turn to a life of crime instead? Would he be able to fight his own child? Maybe they would just be… normal.
He was starting to feel nauseous. Moving to sit on the edge of Raven's bed, he leans down resting his arms against his thighs and his head against his hands as he sighs heavily and begins taking in deep breaths. Raven had helped him practice with meditation a handful of times in the past and he was trying to remember to focus on his breathing. Would they have to teach their baby to meditate?
The door whooshes open, the scrape of metal as the door slips into the wall alarms him and he jumps as he looks up at Raven with nervous apprehension. His heart pounding in his ears makes it hard to tell if he greets her as she enters or if he says anything at all as he takes in her flustered appearance.
"I'm not pregnant," Raven declares confidently, holding up a fist full of used plastic tests like a fucked up bouquet.
"Oh thank GOD," All the bones in his body melt in relief and he falls backward on the bed with a deep sigh.
Raven is on his body in an instant, straddling his stomach as she stares at him in heated bewilderment.
"What do you mean 'thank GOD '? What was all that 'we would be such good parents together ' crap?" Raven barks, her cheeks flushed.
"You believed all that? I was just trying to make you feel better and support you," Robin half-jokes.
"Oh, you mother fucker." She hisses, but he can see the mirth returning to her eyes.
"Not yet I'm not, ah—!" He laughs, lurching away from her as she leans down to playfully sink her teeth into the exposed skin of his arm.
She wrestles his hands away from her body, leaning down to bite him again as she prods his waist with her hands to distract him. The electric tingle that shoots through his torso as her hands attack him causes an involuntary shout of laughter to fall from his lips. Raven snickers sinisterly, the feeling of her laughter vibrating under her teeth and against his skin.
"What's wrong with you?!" Robin laughs trying to ward her off. "You're worse than a teething toddler!"
"This could have been our future," She snickers, flashing her sharp teeth at him.
"Imagining a child doing that is far too cute to be considered a deterrent," Robin teases her.
"Shut up," She huffs in amusement. "We need to be more careful."
"You're right, I'm sorry. I could have been more responsible," He hesitates on the word, his cheeks burning slightly.
"Like I said, it's not entirely your fault. I didn't take a lot of things into consideration when we started getting intimate and unfortunately, this was one of those things," Her lip curls as she speaks.
Robin stares at her in confusion at her admission, his eyes scanning her face while he tries to organize his thoughts.
"You mean to tell me you," He gestures to her, emphasizing the word. "Miss Critical Thinker, didn't think about the consequences of a high-risk action like this?" He asks bewildered.
"Honestly," She pauses, her eyes blanket scanning the ceiling. "I wasn't sure that I could get pregnant, and I'm still not technically sure that I can."
He frowns, leaning back to look at her better. "What do you mean?"
She shrugs, dropping her eyes to her hands. "There's not exactly a guidebook to growing up half-demon. Just because I look human, doesn't mean everything works the same,"
"Meaning?" Robin cocks his head.
"As far as reproduction goes, it's kind of an experimental boat. Terra and Karen mentioned menstruation but neither me or Star have ever dealt with that so that wasn't exactly helpful."
"Wait but if you don't… work the same way, how do you know the tests worked?" He shifts away from her, the nerves rising in his chest again.
"Also a feeling I guess," Raven shrugs. "Bee said it could be regular hormone changes from sex in general or a UTI and I only felt weird because my body was healing something minor."
"Panicking about a potential baby probably also made your judgment off," Robin relaxes.
She nods. "That too. The tests could very well be placebo, but considering I just peed on six different sticks that all told me 'no baby' I'm willing to risk the odds that they're at least somewhat accurate."
"So as far as being careful in the future goes?" Robin asks.
"Birth control?" She proposes expectantly. "I've been told we need to be using condoms," She drawls the word looking at him pointedly.
Robin smiles sheepishly in response, dipping his gaze but nods. "Fair enough,"
"Until then I plan to celebrate not being pregnant," Raven says, rising from the bed.
"Oh ?" Robin sits up, following her with his eyes as she stands. "What does that entail?"
Raven grabs the chocolate bar he had returned to her dresser and peels the wrapper off quickly, taking a bite out of the bar with an aggressive snap before humming contently as the chocolate melts against her tongue.
"I think Starfire had the right idea," Raven admits.
Gripping the chocolate more firmly she snaps the bar in half and tosses the wrapped half to Robin who plucks it easily from the air. Raven holds up her portion of the chocolate in the air toward him like a toast at a banquet.
"To not being pregnant," She declares.
Robin chuckles, standing so he can move closer to tap his half of the chocolate against hers. "And many more years."