"Alannah, could we talk for a bit?" Marianne called through the intercom to the commander.

"Certainly, I'll be right there," the commander responded.

"I'd rather come to you."

"Meet me at my quarters then."

Moments later the two women met at the door to the commander's room. Alannah opened it and gestured for the doctor to join her.

"So, what do you need?" Alannah asked as she took a seat on her bunk.

Marianne sat down across from the other woman in the chair that slid under the small desk attached to the wall. "It's Mark."

"Ah, I had a feeling."

"Yes, he's eating well, working with no issues, and we got his sleeping issues figured out. I believe we can spin up to a half gravity within the month," the doctor reported.

"The problem then is still his socialization."

"Yes."

"Do you have some idea of how you want to handle it?"

Marianne shook her head. "I thought maybe we should take it to the crew."

The commander nodded. "Well then, tonight is our crew dinner. We'll have the discussion then. I imagine Mark won't be there so it's the perfect time."

Alannah noted Mark's absence and waited until everyone was seated and eating.

"Marianne has something she'd like to bring to everyone's attention."

The doctor explained to the crew her concerns about Mark and helping him adjust to being part of the crew. "If we can help him to feel comfortable with the six of us, it will be easier for him to adjust to life on Earth. Not that it will be easy even if he's used to being with six of us. Large crowds may always make him uncomfortable after having been alone for so long."

"So, how do we do that?" Pat asked.

"We're not sure," Alannah replied. "That's why we brought it to you. We'd like ideas from you guys. How can we get him involved with our crew?"

"We tried a movie night," Jack commented. "He wasn't interested."

"We offered to let him pick the movie and he still wasn't interested," Pat put in.

"We've said hi in passing when we're in the gym at the same time," Lawrence said, "but I hardly know him. I don't have a clue how to get him involved."

"Taylor," the commander turned to the pilot. "You seem to have developed the best relationship with him, do you have any idea?"

"Not off the top of my head, but I'll think about it. I do probably talk to him more than any of you about things that aren't work-related but even then I don't know him as well as his Ares III crew. Has anyone messaged any of the Ares III crew to ask them for suggestions?"

"If we can't come up with something, I will," Marianne said. "I'd rather not worry them if we can avoid it."

"Well then, everyone please think about it. If you come up with anything, please let me know," Alannah said.

Taylor sat on the bridge, staring out the window. No one had come right out and said it, but she knew they all expected her to be the one to draw Mark out of his self-imposed shell. They wouldn't have pointed out that she knew him better than anyone else if that weren't what they expected. It wasn't like she knew him that well though. What was she supposed to do? She floated up to the cupola and looked back to Mars.

Shaking her head she floated back down into the bridge.

"Can't talk to the people who could help me most. Ares III is off-limits. I get why," she muttered to herself, but Beck, Johanssen, or Martinez would all have ideas… Martinez… Martinez." Her eyes grew bright as she pushed off the seats and propelled herself into the hallway to find the commander and doctor.

"Hey Mark," Taylor said, peeking into his lab. "Is it okay if I come in?"

"Hey Taylor," Mark replied, looking over his shoulder to the door. "Sure. Are you coming to see how the veggies are growing?"

She shook her head. "Not that I'm not curious. I know we'd all like fresh food, though none of us more than you."

"You're the second person to say that and you're both right. So what's up?"

"I wanted to ask you to join us after dinner…"

Mark grimaced. "I don't know."

Taylor bit back a sigh.

"Before you say no, you have to hear what's happening…please."

Mark turned and considered her. He knew what was up. It wasn't that he hadn't tried to be with all of them. He'd been in the mess when they'd had meals before, but it was uncomfortable. He started to feel, well tight, tense, a bit itchy, like it was just too crowded. He always felt uncomfortable, like he needed to leave as quickly as possible.

"Okay, so what's happening?"

"A joke-off," Taylor said with a grin.

"Why?" Mark looked perplexed.

"Martinez wanted to know if you'd told us any of your, in his words, 'horrible' jokes."

"Oh like he has any room to talk," Mark snarked. "His jokes are so bad they can't even qualify for dad joke status."

"Well, anyway that got everyone thinking about the best and worst jokes they know, so we're having a joke off. We thought maybe you could be the judge," she said then rushed on to explain when she saw the hesitance on his face. "We're gonna do it in the mess/rec room so everyone can spread out and relax."

"What if I don't want to be the judge?" Mark asked and watched Taylor's face fall. "What if I want to be part of the competition?"

"Okay," she responded quickly. "We'll see you later then."

"I'll be there… Hey Taylor."

"Hmm?"

"How many jokes is each person telling?"

Taylor frowned. "I don't know. We didn't set a limit. Maybe until the last person still has jokes or it's too late and we all have to go to bed."

Mark just nodded and began thinking as he worked.

"You're sure he's coming?" Marianne asked Taylor as they cleaned up after their evening meal. The rest of the crew had already moved over to the couches and relaxation area of the mess/rec module.

"Yeah," Taylor replied with just a moment's hesitation. "If he isn't here soon, I'll go..."

"Hey Mark," Pat called as the botanist stepped from the ladder into the room.

"Hi," Watney said. "So…"

"Find a spot," Alannah suggested.

"Are you ready with jokes?" Jack wanted to know.

"I have jokes," Mark replied with a smirk. "The question is do you all have jokes?"

"We have them," Lawrence said in a huff. "And they're better than Martinez's pathetic attempts."

"But not better than mine?" Watney raised an eyebrow.

"That remains to be seen," Jack said.

"Who's starting?" Mark asked.

"Not me," three different people said immediately.

Taylor shook her head and sighed. "Mark, maybe you should start us off, you are the joke master after all."

"Now you're just trying to butter me up," he said.

"Is it working?"

"Maybe."

The crew laughed.

"Fine," Mark said with a smile. "I'll start, but I'm starting with an easy one. I first heard this in fourth grade."

"Elementary school jokes?" Pat frowned. "We can tell elementary jokes?"

"Why not?" Alannah shrugged. "Some of them are funny."

"Ok so…" Mark paused, "Guess what I saw?"

Blank stares from the crew.

"Is this really a joke?" Jack asked.

"Are we supposed to say 'What did you see'?" Lawrence wanted to know.

"Wood," Mark grinned.

"Wood?" Jack repeated.

"Yep, wood." Mark chuckled. "You saw wood with a saw. Got it?"

"Are you serious?"

"That's awful," Pat groaned. "I thought you were supposed to tell good jokes."

"I did say it was an elementary school joke."

"Then it's my turn," Taylor said, smirking. "Guess what I herd?"

Pat groaned again and shook his head.

"Cows?"

"Cats?"

"You can't herd cats?"

"A canary?"

"A tree fell in the forest, but there was no one else around," Jack suggested, getting rolled eyes and blank looks in response.

"Mark knows," Taylor commented, looking at Watney's grin.

"Sheep," he replied, "though honestly for the joke, cows would work too."

Lawrence leaned forward. "My turn: what's it called when you die and come back to life as a hillbilly?"

No one hazarded a guess.

"Reintarnation."

"Not bad," Mark acknowledged with a nod as he took a seat in one of the chairs at the abandoned table. "Better than some of Martinez's jokes."

"You don't want comedian-level jokes, right?" Pat asked. "This is all about dad jokes and puns?"

"Those are the best jokes," Watney declared.

Pat groaned. "OK, fine if that's the way you want to play. I can do it. What do you call a cow with no legs?"

"Are we even supposed to guess?" Marianne asked, "or just wait for you to tell us?"

"And what if we know the punchline?" Mark wondered.

"Well, if you know the punchline then it means that joke isn't as good doesn't it?" Jack suggested. "So, I'd say if you know the punchline say it."

They all looked to Alannah for her response.

"What are you looking at me for? I'm the commander of the mission, not the joke-off. I'd say it's up to general consensus."

Everyone nodded or made noises of agreement.

"Ground beef," Mark said.

Pat shook his head. "Are there any jokes you don't know?"

Watney shrugged. "Let's find out."

"Ok then," Pat said. "What do you get from a pampered cow?"

"Hey, you just had a turn," Taylor complained.

"I know," Pat responded, "but this is a set of jokes that kind of go together."

"Then Mark has to at least let us guess first if we're guessing," she pointed out.

"Fine by me," Mark replied, relaxing back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and his legs outstretched in front of him.

"So, any guesses?" Pat asked.

The room sat quietly.

"Taylor," prodded Pat. "It was your idea to let everyone guess."

She shook her head. "Fine, just let Watney say it. You know he knows. Look at his face."

"Spoiled milk," the botanist said. "Next."

Pat continued, and Mark replied each time:

"What do you get from a nervous cow?" "A milkshake."

"Why do cows wear bells?" "Because their horns don't work."

"What do cows read? "Cattle-logs."

"I'm out," Pat announced. "For now anyway, I reserve the right to speak up again later."

"Really?" Mark raised an eyebrow. "What about: what do you call a cow with two legs?"

"Oh crap," Pat said, shaking his head. "I did forget that one, lean beef."

"Yep."

"Well now I really am out of jokes," Pat said.

"I have one," Marianne said. "What's the difference between a cat and a comma?"

"A cat and a comma?" Jack asked. "That seems incredibly random."

"Well it wouldn't be a joke if it made sense immediately would it?"

"I have no idea," Taylor said.

"Me either," Pat chimed in.

Jack shook his head, as did Lawrence.

"Don't look at me," the commander said.

Mark shrugged. "Even I don't know that one."

Marianne grinned. "A cat has claws at the ends of its paws whereas a comma has a pause at the end of its clause."

"So it's a spelling joke?" Lawrence groaned.

"I like it," Mark replied with a smile. "Mind if I add it to my list for future use?"

"Have at it," Marianne answered. "So, who's next?"

"I have three that go together, like Pat's cow jokes," Jack said.

"Of course you do," Taylor shook her head.

"What do you give to a cannibal who shows up late to a dinner party?"

"Ew," Taylor whined, "cannibalism? Gross!"

"They're just jokes," Jack intoned.

Mark smiled, "And old jokes at that, the answer is 'the cold shoulder.' Next."

"Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turned to the other and asked …"

Mark chimed in and said with him "Does this taste funny to you?"

"What do you call a battle between two cannibals?"

"A food fight."

"Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?"

"He got cold feet."

"Well that's all of those," Jack said laughing.

"You're both gross," Taylor commented, sticking her tongue out.

"Come on, Michaels, stop whining and start joking," Mark prompted.

"You're gonna know all the answers anyway," the pilot complained.

"But the rest of us may not," Marianne pointed out.

"What happens if you can't pay your exorcist?" Alannah asked, cutting off any possible arguments.

"You get repossessed," Mark grinned and everyone else groaned.

"You'll like this one, Mark, that is if you don't already know it," Taylor commented. "What's the difference between Ironman and Aluminum Man?"

"I like where it's going and I've never heard it before," he replied.

"Iron Man stops the bad guys in their tracks whereas Aluminum Man just foils their plans."

Mark bit back the laugh trying to hold it in which caused him to snort and guffaw to the amusement of everyone else.

"My turn again," the doctor declared. "Why do the French put only one egg in an omelette?"

"What is it with you and language jokes?" Pat grumbled.

"Because one egg is un œuf," Jack shot out. His cheeks began to flame as the others turned to look at him. "What? I took French all four years in high school."

"Knock knock?" Marianne started.

"Who's there?" chorused the crew.

"Who."

"To who?"

"No, to whom."

"Ok, no more from the language queen," someone grumbled loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to identify the voice.

"Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of numbers?" Lawrence put out as everyone began eyeballing each other to find the guilty party.

"What?"

"Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of numbers?" Lawrence repeated.

"No."

"He will stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Ugh, that's as bad as the language jokes," Pat groaned with a laugh.

"I have another one, well kind of." Lawrence volunteered.

"What do you mean kind of?" Taylor asked.

"I'll just say it. If you're cold, you should always go stand in the corner because…"

"It's always 90 degrees in the corner," Mark chimed in with him.

Marianne shook her head, chuckling. "My turn again."

"No," Pat protested, "no more language jokes."

"It's not a language joke."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Hey," Alannah interjected. "I like the language jokes."

"I may have more of those later but this one isn't," Marianne said. "What did one DNA say to the other DNA?"

"Do these genes make me look fat?" Mark grinned. "That's still a language joke, or at least a spelling joke."

"I knew it," Pat shook his head but couldn't help laughing anyway.

The jokes continued for another hour before laughs began to be replaced by yawns.

"So who wins?" Taylor asked. "Who told the best joke?"

"No one," Mark replied.

"What?"

"How is that possible?"

"Come on, you have to pick someone!"

Mark shrugged. "I still haven't heard the best joke."

Alannah considered the man and said, "You have the best joke."

He shrugged again.

"Ok spill it," Taylor prodded. "If you have one better than all the others we've told you have to share it."

"Maybe I want to save it for future use," he replied with a twinkle in his eye.

"Not fair," Pat complained. "If you're not going to share it, you have to pick one of ours as the best."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason," Mark said.

"Then you need to give us a better reason not to tell your joke or just tell it."

"Ok, gentlemen," Alannah held a hand up. "I think it's time for all of us to go hit the sack."

"We can always do this again," Marianne suggested.

"I'm going to need time to get more jokes if we're doing this again," Jack said.

"We have to do this again," Taylor insisted. "This is the most fun we've had in ages."

"I don't know that I'd go that far," Lawrence objected. "It was fun, but more fun than our surface mission?"

"That was a different kind of fun," she replied.

"Fun?" Mark scoffed.

"Can I ask you a serious question, Mark?" Pat said.

"I don't know, can you?" Mark shot back with just the hint of a smile. When Pat just stared at him he sighed. "Yeah, okay, but I'm not saying I'll answer it."

"Was your original surface mission fun? Did you have any fun after that? I mean was it all just boring and life-threatening situations?" inquired Pat.

"That was more than one question," Mark pointed out, then sighed again. "Yeah, the original mission was a ton of fun as well as a lot of hard work, just like yours I'm sure. Afterwards, well it was mostly life-threatening situations and boring, but I tried to have fun."

Pat nodded, "I figured those crazy things you did on the way to Valles Marineris had to be fun."

"Anytime I could do something that would make Annie crazy, I was having fun," Mark grinned.

"You definitely made Annie crazy a few times," Taylor grinned back. "I think there were days when she was ready to pull her hair out."

"Mindy always calmed her right down," Lawrence said.

"Mindy, huh? She's pretty awesome," Mark replied.

"She is," Alannah agreed. "So we're done now. Everyone has a full day of tasks tomorrow, so let's get a good night's sleep."

"Yes, commander."

Mark stayed seated while the others begrudgingly began to move to the ladder.

"Just one more," he said quickly.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Three men walked into a bar… the fourth one ducked." He let the smile split his face as he watched them work it out and laughed his way up the ladder ahead of them all.

A/N: Credit for all but three of the jokes goes to my amazing beta Finnegancat, she's got the jokes! Thanks to her for the jokes and all of the editing on this chapter. It's readable because of her suggestion.