Disclaimer:

The original characters and plot are the property of E.L. James. I'm just having a lil' fun. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 12 | Westerner

TOWNSVILLE

"He is visible sir and, please accept my apology, reckless. It is a great concern. His run this morning was impractical, especially for a man of his means. Desmond was able to strike up a conversation with him as well. It was brief and certainly not well received, nevertheless it occurred."

Duane is a consummate professional. He'll speak his mind with most of us, but when the old man's around, he chooses his words carefully.

"Is he safe?" It's the only thing that matters, really. "Do you need additional details? I give a fuck about his means, and of course, he is reckless. A wealthy man and traipsing around the world without security is indubitably reckless. I do not give a rat's ass about the practicality of his actions. He must be safe. Period." The old man's gritting his teeth as he questions our head of personal security. We all have agents assigned to us, some more than one, but none are ever by our side. It's always been a point of contention. We take care of ourselves and we take care of each other, so we work around the inevitability of security. Christian, however, is known to always have security with him. Once we confirmed the boy was wandering around alone, we ordered our people to watch over him. He's proving to be a handful.

"Yes sir. He is safe. We have submitted a request for help stymieing the press, which is being processed as we speak."

The old man looks at me. I nod. "We will see to it."

He sighs in obvious relief.

"Thank you, Duane." I call into the air.

"You are welcome, sirs. G-day" then the call ends.

I look into his stone-grey eyes. I know what he's thinking. "It will not happen again. Do you want a tighter perimeter?" He thinks for a long while. "You know we can make it happen, quickly and quietly." When he nods again, I hit speed dial four.

"Yes, old man, I'm working. You checking up on me again?" I point to the foyer, signaling I'll have this conversation elsewhere. I move from my chair and take the call off speaker just in time before I hear, "You're quiet. I don't fucking like it when you're quiet. You two bastards are together, aren't you? What the fuck's going on now?"

He gets this from the old man. I have to stop him or his imagination will run rampant, "Calm down, will you. Yes, we're together. Do you remember the American asset we were discussing,"

"Yesss." The fucker hisses. I've got half a mind to go over there and beat his ass.

"Watch it! You don't run things, yet." Neither I nor the ole man are incapacitated. We can and have run circles around these young fuckers. I have no intention of retiring anytime soon and the ole man will never go down, so this kid needs to watch it.

Not taking down, he responds flippantly, "Whatever. I'm between meetings and you call me about some knickknack the two of you wanna acquire. I've got real busi..."

"EB3" is all I have to say for the line to go silent. "Now that I have your attention, let's try this again, shall we? Do you remember the asset we were discussing? Yes or no."

In his usual CEO monotone, I get "Yes. I remember." This is our highest security level. He created the protocol while I was away. We've never used it before now. We've never had a reason to activate it. The ole man and I never thought we'd use it at all. No one anticipated this.

"Good." I acknowledge, wanting for the process to begin.

"Time? Location? Duration?" He's a lawyer's wet dream with his hostile witness, plain and sharp dialogue. To be fair, this is all he needs to know, for now. We work on a strict don't ask, don't tell basis. Baseline information keeps matters neat and tidy. We can also spot breaches or inadequacies before a problem occurs.

"Last weekend. Taipei for now. Until further."

"Done. Anything else?" Sweet and simple.

"Yes. There's been a request to quiet the clicks, only local at this point. Have you acted on it." We know he's coming to Townsville and we've toiled with allowing the media into his life while he's here. Our people will always be available, so I believe we can handle the home front. He'll be a star for a while, but the Townsville community has home training. They'll know who he is, who he belongs to and they'll mind their own fucking business. I can guarantee it.

"No, I just got back to my office. The message is in my hand. Is this related?"

"Yes it is. Start with our own resources, then…" He cuts me off.

"Not protocol. You're turning this over to me? I've got it." I knew he'd handle it appropriately. I work hard to hide the smile in my voice.

"It's yours." As there are no more words, he ends the call.

GREY

"Good evening, gentlemen, and thank you for meeting with me." Andrea, scheduled a Zoom call with the CEOs of the companies Kelly approached. Now, they're here to get their piece of the rock. The few who were willing to buy from ECO already heard my spiel and purchased the divisions they originally wanted for the originally agreed on price. I don't look at Sūn or Lu because we talked earlier. They took possession of their sectors, and want to see who's stupid enough to pass on this deal before buying the rest of my ill-gotten gains. Ros assures me Kaur was on board as well. I glance at Kaur briefly and give him a nod, which he returns. I can see it in his eyes. He's gunning for Kelly and this may only be the tip of the iceberg.

"I'm here to offer each of you a division of ECO Blue Steel. There are no terms or conditions, no contracts or business agreements. It's simply a sale. You're welcome to email me your intentions, even if it's to pass. Are there any questions?"

"Mr. Grey," I acknowledge Yuto Abe, from YOU Durable Medical Supplies, "we refused, unequivocally, to help Oliver Kelly and ECO Blue Steel, what on Earth makes you think we want to help you buy ECO?"

My eyes, as well as those of the other call participants, bore into the computer screen, focused solely on the asshole with the shitty attitude, "Mr. Abe, I don't *need* your help to do anything. I'm *offering* you an opportunity. If you aren't interested, you're free to leave." He immediately disconnects the call. I turn my attention to the rest of the group, "As is anyone one else who would rather not be bothered with this information." Three more parties disconnect from the call. At once, during the call, my email buzzes with offers to procure the portions believed to have been advantageous to those who left the "meeting room". I wait for a moment, to see if anyone else would like to drop. When I see no one else has run off, I move on, "Are there any, other, questions."

The line is quiet for about 12 seconds before a deep Australian voice booms through the speakers, "When and where is this sale to take place? Meaning, how long from the time of purchase can we expect to take custody? Also, what happens in the event this endeavor of yours fails, young man?"

The spokesman is a tenured gentleman, tan completion, dark brown hair and bright-green eyes. I recognize him from Welch's portfolio, his name is Jeremy Singh. His organization is JS Consolidated. He's more than a small player in the world of M&A, still not as big as GEH, though. I was puzzled when I saw his name on the call list. He usually works with EB, Pty. Since Kelly went straight to Brown to receive his denial, I didn't expect to see anyone affiliated with Brown on this call. Kaur is in New Zealand, but not close to Brown. "Mr. Singh. I can guarantee the transaction will not fail. I recommend all operations teams be onsite the day of my meeting with the ECO Blue Board of Directors. You can take custody at that time. I'll be at the ECO Blue Steel Distribution office next Friday, which should give you ample time to prepare for your new acquisitions. Please meet me at the distribution office at 1:30 PM AEST…" he didn't let me finish.

"At their office!?" His voice sounds horrified, but his eyes light up like emeralds. I don't change my expression as I slowly nod my head. "Crikey, that'll be a sight to see." We all chuckle at his enthusiasm.

"If any of your experiences with Oliver Kelly have been half as irritating as mine, it's no less than he deserves." I hear various 'here here's' and see many nods indicating the same.

Since I do everything on my own, I'm not privy to other perspectives regarding business deals. I've won proposals from and lost proposals to several of these men. It was never personal for me. Their interaction was merely part of the process. It never meant anything besides what it was, simply business. Now, I observe grown men, CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, bitch with each other over "this Kelly fucker" and "Ollie the arse". It shows me another facet of my life that's been missing. Being cut off from the world is beneficial in some respects, but not all. I watched in wonder as these men cast lots and outbid each other, in real time, without any animosity. I've never seen such a thing in the world of M&A. Everything that was for sale has been sold. No one wanted to leave even a scrap for ECO to try to recover. I even learned some tidbits to put in future contracts if I wanna be particularly evil.

I know she's not interested in my field, but I wish Ana were here to bear witness. I could hear her giggling every time one of those fuckers pulled out a pair of dice to break a bidding stalemate. Lu and I were dying laughing as Sūn's anal ass took notes. It was Business 101 on steroids.

Sūn, Lu and I vowed to keep in touch. Lu has sicced his security team on Kelly. He'll let me know *'the next place that fucker lights.'* It was an entertaining evening. I fall asleep with images of CEOs sipping brandy and scotch, wheeling and dealing acquisitions, set to a soundtrack of my baby giggling at them all. I like this different approach. I slowly close my eyes and whisper to the only missing link…"I love you baby. I love you."

This woman is gonna put Taylor out of business, as my travel agent, that is. Once again, it's Andrea to the rescue. She spoke with the hotel concierge and identified a local tour agency. After name-dropping, of course, I was added to an established tour. The pissing and moaning stopped when not only did I meet all their requirements, but I also made up for the three individuals who canceled, on time, to avoid incurring a cancellation fee. Meaning, off my dime, the agency made their money back and I got my hike. All's well that end's well.

In an effort to conform with the masses, I met the group at the MRT station like a good little boy. As this is an all-day trip, we get to the meeting spot at what Mia so affectionately calls 'the ass-crack of dawn.' "Hello everyone, I'm Michael and this is Leigh. We're your leaders for this outing. As indicated on our website, we ask you pay attention to our instructions because any decision we make is final. If we deem a situation too dangerous to carry on, you must listen and turn back with the group."

"While hiking, we'll always try to keep the group together. If you're feeling tired and want a rest, don't be afraid to say so. If you're not tired, be patient with those who are. It's much safer for everyone if we stick together. We always carry first aid kits with us. If you think you're getting a blister, feeling unwell or have any problems at all, please let us know right away." He went on for a few more minutes about safety measures, group rules and each of their qualifications. All of which I greatly appreciated, not that I thought Andrea would be careless. I wanted to hear it with my own ears. Ours is a small group, so crowd control should be a non-factor.

We run through a final check of our gear, both what was on the required equipment list, as well as more of the extra shit scaredy pants Andrea felt was "necessary". I thought I ditched all of her "just in case" gear, apparently I didn't delve into the pack as well as I thought. Spotting Andrea's items, Leigh asks, "Mr. …" She doesn't know my name?

Hmm.

Hmm my ass. Good job Andrea.

"Just call me Chris, it's easier." Better she think my name is ridiculous to say than to know the truth, which is ridiculous.

She nods, "Ok, Chris. You don't need handkerchiefs out here. The band-aids are a good idea, but the surgical gauze and scissors are a bit much for a day trip, and you've got enough water for us all." Her smile matches mine as she takes inventory of the hellacious Petersen Hiking Kit.

I laugh out loud as Leigh goes on and on. I'm a strong guy and an experienced hiker. Listening to her scold me is a real hoot. At her, and her partner's, obviously offended glare, I speak up, "I didn't pack it and I should've looked through it more thoroughly, my apologies." I earned brownie points for spreading the 'water love' around.

Huang Di Dian, or 'The Emperors Palace', is a ridge traverse to the north of Shiding District. Shiding is a rural locale in southern New Taipei City, which a special municipality located in northern Taiwan, completely surrounding Taipei City. Our out-and-back begins with a long climb up a steep set of stairs, which is boring. I knew what to expect, having done this before. Apparently, my fellow trampers didn't brush up on what they were getting into before they got here. The couple, a husband and wife I presume, bitched the ENTIRE way up the steps. I was in front of them, thank god.

Using absolutely no effort, I caught up with Leigh, who was leading the pack. I could hear her giggling and muttering to herself as I approached, "I told you those two would be trouble when they signed up. Couples get tired of each other anyway, let alone out of shape know-it-all's. They'll be in divorce court before they get back to New Zealand.

She was so busy dissing the "lovebirds" she didn't hear me walk up behind her. "You're not being very nice." I say, almost directly in her ear.

"Oh, shit! I mean shoot! How can I help you Chris? Are you ok? Is your pack too heavy?" The bitch has a smirk on her face, for now. How did this smartass bitch get a job in face-to-face customer service? Hiking, or cashiering in a grocery store, doesn't matter. She's the face of the company and she's working hard to fuck up its reputation.

This heifer don't know we can teach HER about this trek.

No, she don't. If she keeps fucking with me, she will. Her gimme ended when we left the station.

I do hand her a taste of her own medicine though, "No Leigh, I can carry my junk. Well." When her mouth drops open, it's my turn to smirk. "You seem to be enjoying the show back there." I motion behind us with my head to the terrible two.

She can't help herself. The bitch smiles and looks over her shoulder to see if everyone, else, is still alive. We know they are. You can hear them a million miles away. The other leader is bringing up the rear, to keep Ross and Rachel moving. He looks up, past the other hikers, at Leigh, and rolls his eyes. I have to hold my laugh when he mouths 'fuck you' to her.

After fifty minutes of walking, forty-five minutes of which was bitching and complaining, we arrived at the trailhead. Michael, Leigh and I stop to sort out gloves, sunscreen and check our packs one last time before setting off. The windbags watch us, wide-eyed, before the husband speaks, "Aren't we gonna rest?" I turn my back and focus, intently, on my already applied sunscreen, while the professionals address him.

Leigh gives it a try. "No, Mr. Chapman, we're at our starting point. From here, we go up…" There's about three seconds of silence, causing me to look over my shoulder. I fucking knew she wouldn't finish her sentence when she said the word 'up'. Chapman frowns, deeply, and his wife gasps. Now, Michael turns his back and kneels to tie his, already secure, shoelaces. I shake my head and prepare for the Battle Royale.

"UP?! MORE? Without a proper rest?! We've been at this for an hour already! We're both winded and would like to stop for a bit." He crosses his arms over his chest and has the nerve to sound indignant.

Leigh tries to tell him the pitfall of his decision, "Well sir, we can do that, but please understand, this'll use some of our daylight, so we may have to return prematurely.

The fucker's eyes widen and his mouth falls open. I wanna laugh so fucking bad I can hardly stand it. "Is that a threat? We paid good money, on time," the bastard says while looking at me. "We made this reservation at least a month ago, secured our permits AND additional health insurance. Now you're gonna try to bully us? I think not, young lady."

I lean against a nearby tree, pull out my phone and wait. GEH emails can kiss my ass today, but if I pay attention to this lazy prick, I'll be pissed off the entire trip. Looking back at the short distance we've traveled, I take pictures of the tree-lined area with the offensive staircase. Then, I snap a pic of the trailhead, actually looking forward to what's ahead, and text them to my girl…

CTG: Hey baby. Wish you were here. 143

Send

I put my phone away, thinking about how Elliott and I have hiked some kick-ass ranks back home and even piss-farted around on Mount Qixing here in Taiwan. I may not be a professional foot traveler, but I knew what to expect. After about five minutes of this shit, I have to speak up. Instinctively going into CEO mode, I address the big mouthed wimp, "Mr. Chapman?"

Now, fiery brown eyes beam my direction along with a condescending, "Yes, Chris?" For two cents, I'd put my fist through his face.

Open your hand, Grey. Carrick ain't here.

Pity.

"Mr. Chapman, in the time you've spent arguing, you should be well rested. Are you capable of starting our journey or is this the extent of your ability? You're wasting MY time and my LATE PAYMENT in an effort to cover for the fact you had no fucking clue what you were, in your case, crawling into?"

I turned to the amazed leaders and ask, "Is there some type of release form I need to sign, so I can BEGIN this hike before dark? I've traveled several of these mountains before now, so I can handle this alone, and I understand the need to release your organization from any liability." A pleading look comes over Michael's face that screams, 'Please take me with you'.

After a nanosecond eye confab, Leigh says, "Go ahead, Mike. I've got this." Her eyes are now glassy, I know she wants to go too.

Homer and Marge choose this moment to Straighten Up And Fly Right. "Fine! Let's get this shit over and done."

Prick

Pretty much.

I nod at Michael to follow Romeo and Juliet, so we can begin our day. The trail is a mixture of dirt path, rocks, roots, ropes and ladders. It's one of those hikes that make you feel like a kid in an adventure playground. About two hours after setting off, scaling up and down the contours of the ridge, we arrive at the West Peak, offering beautiful views of mountains layered upon mountains. Below the West Peak is a small Buddhist temple, literally hanging off the slopes.

The path is easy enough to follow. There are few well sign-posted turn-offs, so all we have to do was enjoy the walk. After climbing the ridge, we get to the cool part of the hike, at least for me and the leaders. The ridge walk of mostly exposed limestone is breathtaking. I find myself stopping for long periods of time to enjoy the view, much to the chagrin of my "companions". The leaders are knowledgeable in the geography, flora and fauna of the area, which is a plus.

To get my money's worth, and piss off Archie in the process, Leigh and I climb onto the ridge, each taking a seat, to eat snacks and enjoy the 360-degree view of New Taipei City. It's a clear day, so we can see as far as Taipei 101. I faintly hear, what I believe, are camera clicks. I look questioningly at Leigh. When she notices my expression, Leigh points out, "Michael is also a professional photographer. He gets beautiful shots every time we're here. He'll them with you if you'd like." I look to my right, Michael nods his affirmation to Leigh's description. I nod back, then return my eyes to the vast mountain range and clear blue sky with fluffy white clouds.

After sitting on the ridge for a while, we make the short hike to the East Peak, where the views are much better. It can be a bit scary if you stand on top of the ridge and walk towards the edge. I stay on the peak a long while, thinking about Anastasia. I've sent her a fuck ton of emails, pretty much every time I open my phone. While, I haven't left any messages, I'm certain she's seen my missed calls. Hopefully, she'll reply to my last text.

I pretend not to hear that feeble fucker flapping his lips with one of the leaders, as I think about my girl, "What is he, some kinda daredevil? I'm not risking my life to teeter on the edge of a mountain. How much longer do we have to wait for him? I paid my money, too. From what I see, he's leading *you* around on this hike." I shake my head. Elliott should be here, he'd have thrown that guy over the edge by now. I take out my phone and snap a few pics. The sun is moving toward the horizon. It's not dark by any means, you can simply see its progression easier from here. The yellow, orange, and slight mix of purple in the sky are breathtaking.

"Chris?" Her soft voice pulls me from my revelry. I turn around and nod, letting Leigh know I'm on my way back. "No sir. We'll stay here a while longer." She looks at Chapman when she says, "Michael and I want to rest a bit too, now," then she looks back at me, "take all the time you need."

I smile and mouth, 'thank you', then turn back to the spectacular portrait in front of me. Longtime Taiwan residents attest, this area was more beautiful back in the day. I have no doubt the land would look even prettier without the metal piercings and shaved off ridge peaks. Alas, it's the price to be paid. Removing these safety precautions would no doubt lead to injuries, or worse because of someone's inquisitiveness, resulting in insane restrictions.

From the East Peak, we began our descent to the road. It is possible to continue east from here until a point where the ridge is literally cut in two by the Jingmei River. I decide to have some fun here at the end of our journey. "Excuse me, Michael?"

"Yeah Chris. Whassup?" I love this casual conversation.

"Are we gonna continue to the Jingmei River? I know if we keep moving east, there's a point where the ridge is literally cut in two by the water." I can see Chapman's ears turning red from where I'm standing. His wife, on the other hand, turns stark white.

Michael sees them, but ignores the chickens to respond to me. "Unfortunately, not on this trip. Do you know about the…" He looks around to see if Chapman's listening.

I hope the dumb bastard is listening, but I make it easy for Michael, "Hell yeah! Are we gonna stop in the Bat Cave?!" I shout like a little kid spotting the big man in his red suit on Christmas Eve.

Michael laughs, loudly. "You sound like my nephews. You should come back for an overnighter or even a two-day trek up…"

Time to show off, "Xueshan?" His eyes twinkle. I look pass Mr. and Mrs. Smith to a shocked Leigh. "My brother read about the unbelievable views of the Sheipa National Park and its nearby mountains. The last time I was in Taiwan, he knew I was gonna be here, so he invited himself along. He read everything he could get his hands on about the hike, provisions, safety, the whole nine yards. When I was done with my tasks, we set off and had the time of our lives…"

Almost froze me and the boys solid, remember?

Quit your bitching. It was fun.

The leaders and I continue to chat as we approach the parking lot, which is a short walk down some tree lined stairs and a bit more relaxing than our trip up. This hike wasn't as difficult as that mouthy motherfucker tried to make it out to be. There were children, fathers, mothers and grandparents enjoying the beautiful scenery out there too.

I shake hands with our leaders, and thank them for their time. They each confess to believing I would be the marshmallow in the group, a Westerner with something to prove. I chuckled because I'd love to tell them how wrong they are. "Thank you, Michael, Leigh." I say before catching the MRT and heading "home".

FOOTNOTES

Battle Royale, 1999 Japanese dystopian horror novel by Koushun

Straighten Up And Fly Right, a 1943 song written by Nat King Cole and Irving Mills. One of the first vocal hits for the King Cole Trio

Ross Geller and Rachel Greene

Their relationship is one of the main plot lines of the American television series Friends.

Homer and Marge Simpson, husband and wife characters from long-running animated comedy The Simpsons

Archie and Edith Bunker, fictional characters on the 1970s sitcom All in the Family

The Bat Cave

In New Taipei City there's Mountain Goat and Shaoyao Caves close together on a wooded hillside above the village of Shiding. Mountain Goat Cave is a true cave, not just an overhang, and although not very deep is full of bats.

Xueshan, is the 2nd-highest mountain in Taiwan and in East Asia, at 3,886 m (12,749 ft) above sea level

Mr. and Mrs. Smith, 2005 movie starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, undercover assassins working for adversarial agencies.