Sunday
Lynn Sr. began making breakfast for the family in the hotel's kitchen. He noticed that the baking supplies had been tampered with as he got the pancake mix. It was most likely Luan making her pies so he would have to keep an eye on her. He began cooking the pancakes as the family started to walk into the diner.
"Mornin," he said. "Good morning," they called back. He flipped the pancakes off the rack and onto the plates. He added some fruits and bacon to them before walking out to the table and serving the plates to the kids.
"How was your guy's sleep?"
"It was nice. The wind certainly helped."
"Yeah, I think we got some snowfall last night."
Lynn Sr. sat down and began to eat his breakfast. They ate in silence for a short while before Lola asked, "Hey, can we turn on the TV? There could be a Blarney the Dinosaur Christmas special on!"
"Okay Lola." He picked up the remote and turned on the TV that hung in the corner of the room. It flashed to life showing a weather man standing behind a desk.
"-nights snowfall and today's predicted calm weather makes today an excellent packing day."
Thump!
Everybody snapped around to look at Lynn Jr.'s spot. Her chair had tipped over onto the floor, and she and her breakfast plate and all were gone. They all glanced nervously at each other as the weatherman kept talking, knowing that she was outside right now accumulating a massive arsenal of snowballs she would use on them.
"Inside day?" Lincoln asked.
"Inside day," they all answered. No one would be stepping foot out of the hotel now that Lynn Jr. was on the prowl outside. Lynn Sr. turned off the TV and they ate in silence, each casting a quick glance to the entryway ever so often.
"I heated the pool for today if anyone's interested," Lynn Sr. said in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Rockin!" Luna said. The kids erupted into chatter once more and the threat of Lynn Jr. was forgotten. Lynn Sr. took a triumphant sip of his coffee that he had restored the festive mood.
Lynn sat perched on one of the higher branches of a tree that lined the roundabout. She leaned against the trunk, with a modest pile of snowballs on one side and a cleaned off plate on the other. Her position was masked behind a green shield of downward fir leaves so not even the perspiration of her breath could be seen and she had an open field of view. She was certain she could nail a target with headshot accuracy from a hundred yards away.
There was only one problem with her sniper nest. She had been out here for an hour and no one had gone outside. She hadn't seen any movement from the windows she could see. She realized that no one was coming out. She frowned.
I could take the fight to them. Yeah, she could. She climbed down from the tree and began to make her way towards the hotel, sticking to the tree line to stay out of sight of anyone that might look through the windows. She hid behind the brick wall of the hotel's front. The problem now was being able to use the snowballs inside.
Turn off the heater. Yeah, she could just mess with the AC to be able to use snowballs inside. Side door by the underground parking. She ran over to the door and checked the knob. It was unlocked. She stepped inside the fluorescent lit space and made her way to the stairwell. She opened the door and saw the door to the furnace. Too easy.
She stepped inside. The furnace was pushed against the wall with a set of dials next to it. She began to flip them all off one by one. When she was finished she smiled. All that was left to do was accumulate snowballs and wait for the right time to strike.
Lincoln reclined on the pool chair in his swim trunks waiting for his sisters to arrive. He had a box of pool toys sitting next to the chair. He spun one of the pool rings around with his finger as his sisters entered the pool room in their swimsuits.
"Hey, where's Luan?" he asked.
"She's straggling behind in the room for some reason," Luna answered.
"Oh well, no point in waiting for her," Lola said. "Let's get in!" She, Luna and Leni jumped into the pool. The rest began running to the pool but we're brought to a stop by surprised shrieks. They quickly scrambled out of the pool and lay on the ground shivering.
"What the heck, what's wrong?!"
"Cold, cold, cold!" Lola stuttered. Lincoln stepped up to the pool and dipped his toes in before quickly jumping back. "That's ice cold, give them some towels." They escorted Leni, Luna and Lola onto the chairs and wrapped them up in towels as Luan walked in, carrying Mr. Coconuts decked out in shorts, Hawaiian flower shirt and a beachcomber straw hat with sunglasses.
"Well Mr. Coconuts, won't it be ice to use the swimming pool?" They all casted a glare at her.
"Talk about a cold reception!" Mr. Coconuts said.
"Lu-luan!" Luna stutter-shouted. "If that was you I'll throw you and your puppet out for Lynn to pick off!"
"What's she talking about?"
"You! You made the pool all cold!" Lana said.
"No, that wasn't me! I was going to do that tomorrow."
"So that wasn't you?"
"Nope."
"Well. We're out of a pool and Leni, Luna and Lola almost got frostbite. What a bust."
"I'll be in my room," Lincoln sighed. He and the rest of his sisters walked out of the room leaving Luan alone with Mr. Coconuts.
"Well, at least there's snow way today can get any worse."
Lincoln put his swim trunks back in the dresser in his room. It was somewhat of a disappointment that the pool had been sabotaged, and he didn't really believe Luan when she said she didn't do it.
He shivered and noticed how cold it was in his room. He looked at the thermostat. Twenty degrees. What? Now that had to be Luans doing. He shoved on his coat and stepped outside into the hallway where the rest of his siblings partially geared up in winter clothing were grumbling.
"Why's it so cold in here?"
"My thermos is at ten degrees!"
"I just stopped shivering from the pool and now this!"
"You know, I think Luan not freezing the pool is bogus," Luna said. "She hasn't shown up since we left the pool and we're freezing our butts off now! Let's throw her outside and give her a taste of her own medicine!"
"Yeah!" they all said in reply. They headed for the elevator to hunt Luan down. Leni called the elevator and they waited for it to appear. The elevator ringed and the door opened bringing a cascade of snow into the hallway knocking furniture out of place. They all yelped and jumped back as it came to a stop at their feet. They noticed a mass of light brown hair looking face down emerging from the snow.
"One, two, three, not it!" Lola shouted. They all raised the tip of their finger to their, but Lincoln did so last. "Dang it."
He slowly inched towards the body as the rest of them backed away. He nudged her head with the toe of shoe. No response. He stepped to the side and flipped her over. It was Luan. Her scrunchie had been taken out and her hair spread out on the floor like a halo. An ugly Christmas sweater had been shoved over her one piece. He kneeled down for a closer look.
"Is that Luan?" Lisa called out.
"Yeah, there's something written on here," Lincoln answered. He straightened out the sweater and read aloud, "I have snow in the hotel. With love, Lynn." He swallowed nervously. "Uh, I think we're in danger."
"Yup," he heard Lynn say. She dropped down into the elevator from the maintenance hatch and threw a snowball at him. He yelped and fell over narrowly dodging the snowball as it whistled overhead. The girls screamed and ran for their room as Lynn cackled maniacally.
Lincoln barreled into his room and shut the door. He locked it up and took a deep breath. Now Lynn was on the loose in the hotel and he was trapped in his room. He began to worry that she would break down the door to get to him.
He jumped at the sound of the phone on the nightstand ringing. One hand trying to slow down his rapidly beating heart he picked up the phone and answered. "Hello?"
"Lincoln! She didn't get you!"
"Leni? You and Lisa alright?"
"Yeah. That was totes too close."
"You think?"
"Lana? Are you with them?"
"No, we're on a group call with the hotel phones. Anyone got any idea how we're going to deal with Lynn?"
"Not a clue," Luna said.
"Perhaps we can get Mom and Dad to assist us," Lucy suggested.
"Yeah, okay. I'll hang up and call them." Lincoln set the phone down on the set before typing in numbers for the conference rooms.
Lynn Sr. held Rita in his arms as they slow danced around the room as Ray Noble played softly in the background. The table had been pushed to the wall to give them room to dance. Lily was napping in her high chair, with a half full bottle of milk on the counter.
"When was the last time we danced like this?"
"I think it was nineteen ninety… I can't remember."
"Well, we haven't had time together like this in a long time. I think being here for Christmas was the best gift you could give us."
"Thank you Rita-," The phone rang.
"I'll get it," he said. He let go of Rita and picked up the phone. "Hello."
"Dad!"
"Hey Lincoln, how's the pool?"
"It was cold!"
"What? What do you-"
"But that's not important right now. Lynn froze over the hotel and is inside!"
"Something wrong Honey?"
Lynn Sr. placed his hand over the receiver and looked back at her. "No dear, it's all good." He put the phone against his head. "We need some help here!"
He started to respond but stopped. They can handle it themselves. So what if Lynn's messing around with the snow? It can't be that bad. Go and spend time with Rita. Yeah. They could handle it. It'd been too long since they've had time like this. Since Nineteen ninety eight.
"I'm sorry Lincoln, but I'm a bit busy at the moment. I'll get back to you then."
"Don't-" He hung up.
"Hey Rita?"
"Yeah?"
"Those tree's out there, don't they remind you of when I proposed?"
She turned to look and he pushed the table to the side, barricading the door. "Yeah, they do. Really sends you down memory lane."
"It does." They embraced each other again and resumed dancing. "Oh, and I just remembered, we haven't danced like this since '98."
Lincoln sighed and joined back into the group call.
"Hey Lincoln!"
"Are Mom and Dad helping us?"
"He said he was busy and hung up on me!"
"Dang it!"
"What now?"
"We'll just have to wait until midnight. After that it won't be a packing day and Lynn will leave us alone."
"Well great."
Lynn waited for somebody to exit their rooms and enter her line of fire but no one did. What was the point of freezing the hotel if they still remained hidden? Go through the vents. Yeah, she'd do what Lucy would do and go through the vents. They all had just trapped themselves.
She walked back into the elevator stepping over Luan's cold body. She climbed up through the maintenance hatch and into the elevator shaft. She found a grate and kicked it out of place. She scooped up an armful of snow and crawled through the vents looking for a target.
"-o Leni, I have a sufficient amount of blankets." Lynn stopped. It was Lisa, she was nearby.
"Oh, but I just want to make sure you don't get too cold." Lynn followed the voice.
"Leni, for the last time, I am not an infant! I am perfectly capable of keeping myself warm!"
Lynn finally found their room. She looked through the grate. Leni was trying to put another blanket over Lisa while she protested. Perfect. She silently unscrewed the cover, set it aside and took aim at Leni.
"Leni, cease this at- look out!"
"What?" Leni turned around and caught Lynn's snowball in between her eyes, knocking her off her feet. Lisa rolled off the bed almost getting stuck under Leni when she came back down. Lynn laughed and began rapidly throwing snowballs at Lisa. She dodged them and scrambled out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her.
She gave one last look at her handiwork, Leni out cold on the bed, snowball fragments staining the walls, before turning around to hit the next room.
Luna strummed away idly on her guitar trying to play a Christmas tune but her fingers, whether from the cold or her nerves, kept freezing up and ruining the tune. She sighed and set the guitar down next to her and closed her eyes.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam
Luna sat straight up. "Luna! Let me in!" She hopped off the bed and ran to the door and swung it open. Just as quickly Lisa rushed in and shut the door. She started to stutter incoherently about being attacked.
"Specs, specs! Calm down, I can't understand you."
"Lynn breached the room and got Leni!"
"How? Did she unlock the door?"
"She came through the vents!"
"She pulled a Lucy?"
"Correct."
"Oh, now that's scary." She glanced over at her vent. "Crap." She ran over to the phone and punched in the room numbers.
Lucy was on the bed with her head raised up slightly with a pillow watching a documentary of shark attacks when the phone rang. Unperturbed, she brought the phone up to the side of her face without looking away from the TV screen.
"Hello?"
"Lucy! Lynn's in the vents! Your rooms next!"
Lucy heard the screws to the vents being undone and acted. She turned off the TV, rolled over to the side of the bed and pulled the plug to the lamp, rolled over to the other side and pulled the plug, plunging the room into darkness before rolling of the bed entirely and crawling underneath.
She heard the grate fall to the floor with a poof, its impact softened by the carpet. Another noise, a thud. Silence. She held her breath. She could hear Lynn's excited breathing, she was right next to her.
It was only when her chest felt it was about to burst when Lynn moved. The creaking of floorboards and the sound of shifting metal sheets in the vents. She was gone. She took a deep gasp of air as she pulled herself out from under the bed.
She made her way over to the door, unlocked it and opened it up. She stuck her head out before quickly pulling it back in when a barrage of snowball's came her way.
"Stop, stop, it's not Lynn!" The snowball's ceased to hit the doorway and she stepped outside to see her siblings huddled behind makeshift barricades.
"Quick, let's dip while Lynn's still checking the rooms!" They all piled into the other elevator and descended.
Lynn came up to the next room, the twins one. She was a bit miffed that Lucy had somehow evaded her, but the two for one would make up for it. She decided to throw caution to the wind and immediately pelt them. She kicked the cover out and began lobbing snowballs indiscriminately around the room.
"Eat snow!" she yelled. She stopped once she had run out of snowballs. She looked around for her victims. She couldn't see them. She hopped down onto the floor and shifted through the pile of snow she had rained down on the beds. They weren't here.
She ran out of the room to see if she could catch them, but they weren't there either. They were gone. She looked around the hallway. Barricades that weren't here before. Snow marks on one of the doors, probably them mistaking a sibling for her.
She smiled. They seemed to be finally putting up a challenge today. And she loved challenges.
The elevator came to a stop at the ground floor. The doors began to slide open as Lincoln went over the plan. "Okay, well try to lock ourselves in Vanzilla. If that doesn't work we'll find somewhere else to hide."
"O-" Bang! They all flinched at the sound before looking out of the elevator.
"What was that?"
"I don't know, I don't see anything."
They all looked up as the maintenance hatch on top of the elevator. It dropped down and a gloved hand reached down and grabbed Luna by the collar.
"What the-" she was lifted out of the elevator before being dropped back down with snow powdering her face.
"Run!" Lincoln yelled. He and what remained of his sisters bolted out of the elevator and through the hallways.
"Run, Run!" Lynn taunted. "I'm coming for you!"
"Lynn is-wheeze- even worse than usual!" Lola panted as they turned a corner.
"We're not going to last out here much longer," Lucy said in her out of place neutral voice.
"Siblings, I have a plan! We'll trick her into falling into the pool! While she's disoriented I'll sedate and restrain her!"
"Good idea! There's the stairs, let's go up before Lynn see's us!"
Lincoln held the door open as the rest of his sisters rushed in. He closed the door silently behind them and went up the stairwell. He stopped at the door his sisters were waiting at. Lisa opened the door only a hair's width wide checking to see if it was safe.
She opened the door fully and they all began slowly walking through the hallways keeping their backs to the wall. They came to an intersection. Lincoln looked at one side of the parallel hallway and then the other. Nothing.
They walked through the middle. Lola tripped on her dress and fell to the floor. Lincoln turned to help her back to her feet when he was knocked over by a rush of red. All he was Lola kicking, screaming and clawing the carpet trying futilely to stop Lynn from dragging her away.
"Oh, that's messed up," he said aloud as he scrambled back to his feet to follow Lisa and Lucy who had bolted when Lynn snatched Lola. He ran into the pool room. Lisa and Lucy were splashing water onto the floor.
"Lincoln, I need you to trick Lynn into running in here. Stand right outside the door and taunt her."
"Okay, okay." He stepped back out and shut the door behind him. He turned and waited for Lynn to show up.
She finally did, coming around the corner and standing right in the middle of the hallway. Her sleeves had been torn off, the raggedy ends hanging shortly away from her shoulders.
"Hey Lynn. Did Lola put up a good fight?"
"You better believe she did. She fights dirty, I'll give her that. Just stand still and we can get this over with."
"How about you stop hiding behind your snowballs and fight me up close and personal?"
"Bet," she said. She let the snowball fall to the ground with a small grin and pulled out an icicle. Lincoln's cocky smile quickly faded. She wouldn't stab him with that. She wouldn't. Would she?
"Come here Lincoln!" she screamed with that grin still plastered on her face as she ran toward him. Lincoln yelled in fear and ran back in the room, forgetting the plan and only wanting to put distance between him and Lynn.
"Lincoln, what are you doing?!" Lisa yelled. He fell into the trap and slid on the ice towards the freezing pool. Lynn dashed in a second later, not slowing her pace as she followed him on the ice. He grabbed at the handrail, saving himself from the waters.
Lynn slid past him swinging her icicle at him. "Noo!" She fell into the water and the room filled with her pained shrieks. She clambered out and curled up shivering. Lucy and Lana tackled her and forced her to expose her neck. Lisa pulled out a syringe, stuck it in her neck and depressed the plunger. Lynn's shaking lessened and Lucy and Lana got off her.
"Lana, go get your jump ropes."
"Alright." She left the room to get them. Lucy helped Lincoln off the ice. He thanked her and felt around his jacket. There was a tear running straight down the back of it. She really did try to stab him.
He walked over to Lynn. She was curled up in fetal position, shaking slightly. Pathetic and helpless. Nothing like the maniac outside. Lana returned with the jump ropes. They carried her onto one of the chairs and tied her up to it. They then all sat down and had a sigh of relief that Lynn's rampage was over. Now came the clean up.
"Lynn, honey, don't you think it's a bit late?"
Lynn Sr. looked out the window. The sun was beginning to dip behind the mountains, casting a pink glow on the snow covered woods surrounding the hotel.
"Ah, I guess it is. It was nice while it lasted. We have got to do this again while we're still here."
"Yeah." While Rita went to get Lily Lynn Sr. turned off the music and pushed the table back where it previously was.
"I'll get dinner started," Lynn Sr. said.
"Alright. I hope the kids had fun in the pool."
"Me too."
He opened the door just to stare in shock at the hallway. There was snow knee high in front of the elevator bank and furniture was turned on its side. He stepped out without a word to look at the carnage.
"Is so-, what happened out here?" Rita said. The elevator to the right opened up. Lincoln and Lucy dragged out Luna and Lana and Lisa dragged out Lola.
"Kids! Care to explain what all this is?"
"Lynn froze the hotel so she could use snowballs inside," Lincoln answered.
Lynn Sr. rubbed his temples. "Okay, okay. How much snow did she track in?"
"She has snow stuffed in that elevator and the rooms on the left, from what I know."
"Lincoln, could you get dinner started while I clean up this mess?"
"Yeah, I could do that."
"Thanks. Anyway, where is Lynn?"
"We had to tie her up to a pool chair."
"Alright. I'll talk to her later."
Lincoln nodded and continued carrying Luna into her room. Lynn Sr. sighed in annoyance before turning to Rita. "I'm sorry to keep this place cold, but don't touch the thermostat. I don't want this place getting any water damage. There's some extra blankets in the closet if you need them."
"When do you think you'll be done?"
"I'm guessing in about three hours since this is Lynn's mess. I'll be back." He turned and went down the elevator to find a shovel to clear out the snow.
Lynn came to feeling drowsy. She stifled a yawn and tried to stretch her legs but couldn't move them. She struggled to open her eyes to look down. Her legs were wrapped up in jumping rope, the rubber strands digging into her legs. She tried moving her arms and found they were bound as well.
She raised her head up. To the chair next to her was Lucy and standing in front of her chair was Dad.
"Lynn. Can you hear me?"
"Yeaah," she slurred.
"What was that?"
"What?"
"You! Going on a rampage, hunting your siblings down like dogs and covering this place head to toe in snow!?"
Lynn didn't respond. It was a packing day. She always did this. She just had more initiative today. She just took this one further than the others.
"Having a snowball fight is fun and all. But this was unacceptable. Lincoln tells me you tried stabbing him with an icicle."
"What? Noo, I didn't!"
"What's this then?" He picked up a red coat off of Lucy's chair and tossed it at Lynn. It landed on her lap with the back facing up. She lowered her head to see a long, jagged tear running down the back.
"You scared him Lynn. That's not okay."
Lynn thought this couldn't be right. She wouldn't do that to Lincoln. She wouldn't do that to any of her siblings. But here she was. She kept her head lowered in shame.
Dad took a deep sigh. "I'm severely disappointed in you Lynn Marie Loud Junior. Consider yourself grounded. There will be no going outside, no sports and especially no snow for you for a week."
He turned to Lucy. "Feed her dinner then you can come back up to your room." He turned and walked out the door. Lucy opened up a can of beans and began spoon feeding Lynn. They sat in silence for a while.
"Lucy?"
"Yes?"
"Did I really try to stab Lincoln?"
"I can't answer. It happened too fast for me to see."
She kept feeding Lynn spoonful's in silence again.
"Do you think I would do that?"
Lucy put the spoon back in the can. "I can't answer that."
"Well I can't either. I know I pelt you mercilessly with snowballs. But I wouldn't try stabbing anybody. But then I did try to."
Another stretch of silence. "No. That doesn't sound like something you would do."
That made Lynn feel somewhat better, if only a little. Lucy emptied out the can and began walking away.
"Luce, aren't you going to untie me?"
"Dad said to keep you tied up until the end of the day. Which would be midnight."
"Oh. Well. I guess I had that coming."
"If it makes you feel any better I can come and untie you at twelve o' one."
"No thank you Lucy. I'll just stay here until morning."
"Well. Good night."
"Night." Lucy left the room and turned off the light leaving the room in the glow of the underwater bulbs in the pool. She thought about her actions. It would be an easy, cop out answer to it, but it was as if she was told what to do.
He stared at the outside. Mouth slightly open. Watching the snowflakes slowly float down to earth. He had cleared out the hotel of snow about an hour ago. Lynn Jr's victims had been revived and given blankets and hot soup. He had chewed out Junior and sorted her out. He should have been in bed with Rita about fifteen minutes ago.
But he stared out into the dark front of the hotel. Thinking. He had only wanted some quality time with Rita. Something close to impossible. The spa was supposed to be the perfect gift. Everybody got what they wanted.
But he was cleaning up after Lynn Jr's colossal mess. That brat. Overbearing, aggressive, down right annoying. But calling out her flaws wasn't going to do anything to help. What he needed to do was keep this from happening again.
She always did this on packing days. When that damned weatherman said it was a packing day. She only knows it is a packing day when she see's it on TV.
He raised his eyes up slightly as if to see this new idea he was imagining. His jaw relaxed and the corners of his lips raised up to form a little smile. He knew what to do, to preserve their vacation.
He walked out of the conference room and to the flight of stairs next to the elevator. He ascended until he came to the very top. He unlocked the door and stepped out onto the roof. His shoes crushed over snow and gravel as he made his way to the TV antenna.
He opened up the maintenance hatch and looked at the mass of wires and knobs. He found a red cord and pulled it out of the box. He cast it off the side of the building. There. No more packing days.
He shut the box and walked back down the stairs. He quietly entered his room and kicked off his shoes. He changed into his nightwear and climbed into the bed, cozying up next to Rita.