"All right, kiddos, off to bed," Ellen says, eyes jumping to each of them as she sets out a glass of milk beside the plate of cookies. "Gotta get to sleep if you want Santa to come."
Sam and Jo rush off to bed, stumbling up the staircase in their haste to move, but Dean lags behind. He doesn't see why he should go to bed early on Christmas Eve when he already knows nobody's coming tonight. No, he knows Ellen and Bobby have been buying stuff all month for their own daughter (or stepdaughter) and for them, knows there's no point in going to bed early when it won't actually make a difference.
It's been a little less than a year since Ellen and Bobby took him and Sam in after their dad left to go hunting or something, and for the first time since he was four, he has a family. But after so long spent growing up so that Sam didn't have to, he's still not sure about the whole thing, still wonders what the catch is. Ellen and Bobby seem convinced his dad isn't coming back, and honestly…Dean kind of agrees. He's given up hope in a lot of things when his mom died, and now, he's given up his faith in his dad—not to mention all this Santa nonsense, as he realized when he was five that the only way they were gonna get presents would be if he went out and got them himself.
He appreciates what Ellen and Bobby are doing, and he certainly doesn't want to ruin it for Sam and Jo, who are just 10 and 8, but at almost 14 years old, Dean doesn't believe in much of anything anymore. So he drags his feet and gripes as much as he can get away with, but does eventually go upstairs to get ready for bed.
When he's finished and changed into a fresh set of pajamas (western-themed, because Ellen and Bobby remember what he likes), he finds Ellen and Bobby leaning over Sam's bed, tucking him in the way Dean remembers his mom doing to him, so many years ago.
"Are you excited for tomorrow?" Bobby asks Sam, who's on the bunk above him.
"Yeah, of course."
"What do you think you're gonna get?"
"Lots of presents," Sam says with enough conviction that Dean can't help but smile, though a part of him cringes as he remembers the mediocre amount he'd been able to get for Sam over the years. "I think I was good this year…"
"The best," Ellen promises, audibly kissing Sam's cheek in a way that's probably all gross and wet like all kisses are. "Get some sleep."
"Wait." Ellen pauses, and Sam asks, "How does Santa get in if we don't have a chimney?"
"Oh, he has his ways," Bobby replies vaguely.
"Yeah, but how? Can he teleport? Can he go through walls? And how do his reindeer fly? Regular reindeer can't fly, so why would his? And aren't there faster ways to get around? I mean, why like that? A sleigh would be good for going through the snow, but it doesn't snow everywhere, not even on Christmas, and it flies—"
"Sioux Falls gets enough snow for everybody if you ask me," Bobby interrupts in a grumble, and Dean swallows. He's been doing his best to preserve Sam's belief in Santa, but it hasn't been easy since the kid's just been asking so many questions lately and Dean…Dean doesn't have an answer for most of them. "Hurry up and fall asleep already, why don't ya?"
"That's another thing. Why does Santa only come when kids are sleeping? How's he even know, anyway?"
"I don't know, Sam. Why don't you ask him in your next letter?" Ellen suggests as she leans down to pull Dean's blankets up, though Dean manages to dodge the kiss he knows is coming, making Ellen laugh. "Okay, I forgot I'm in the presence of a teenager here."
"Kisses are gross," he grumbles from under the blankets, and Ellen pats his head instead.
"Let's hear you say that when you get older," Bobby says from the doorway. "Something tells me you'll change your mind."
"No way—kisses are always gross!"
"Whatever you say, kid…"
He hears a door close and peeks out of the blankets, confirming that Ellen and Bobby are gone. Within minutes, he hears Sam snoring in the bunk above him, and Dean relaxes with a sigh. He's excited enough for the presents, but the rest of it? Christmas just doesn't seem worth the effort anymore, and certainly isn't worth all the hype—not since he stopped believing in Santa and the world alike, all in one fell swoop.
It feels like he's asleep just minutes before he hears what sounds weirdly like a train whistle, the very foundation of the house beginning to shake in a way that reminds him of an earthquake. He's content to just roll over and assume it's all a dream when he hears Sam trip down the bunk bed ladder, making Dean sit up just in time to see Sam's pajamaed legs walk right out the door.
"Sammy?" he calls quietly, half-asleep and more than a little confused, eyes glancing towards the bedside clock; 11:55. Sam doesn't reply, so Dean swings his legs around the side of the bed, slipping on his slippers and grabbing his robe off the floor before going downstairs. "Sam?"
No one answers, and Dean frowns. This is stupid. Sam obviously just wanted to sneak a peek at the presents, or snatch a cookie or something. Just as he's about to turn around to go back to bed, however, Jo comes down the stairs and runs into him, falling over.
"Jo?"
"C'mon, Dean, we're gonna miss it!" Jo says, all but bursting with excitement as she gets up, brushes the imaginary dust off her nightgown, and takes his hand in her own cold one, pulling him towards the door, where a startlingly bright light is pouring through the curtains on the door and illuminating the whole room. "Hurry! Before it leaves!"
"Before what leaves?" he asks as he's tugged outside, where he feels like his heart stops beating for a solid minute. There, sitting right in the front yard, is a giant train, smoke erupting from the top and concealing the huge wheels resting on invisible tracks. "What the hell…?"
Dean hesitates, stunned beyond words by the actual train in front of him when he's never even seen one before, eyes tracing over the engine and the line of cars it's pulling—clearly a passenger train, though he's not sure why it's here when not even trains carrying cargo pass by anywhere near here. Is he still asleep? If so, this is a really weird dream…
Jo releases his hand and rushes onboard so fast her little legs seem to phase out, and Dean snaps out of it, figuring this is where Sam also went and hurrying after them, only to pause when a short guy with golden eyes stops him, his eyes twinkling in mirth, like he knows something Dean doesn't. Given how clueless he feels right now, though, that's not much of a challenge.
"Ticket?"
He stares blankly. "Huh?"
"I said, ticket?" The man does a little spin on his heel, the light pouring out of the train windows making his skin look too pale and a little…blue? He lifts his cap emphatically, as if Dean didn't notice the word 'conductor' embossed on there before. "I'm the conductor of this beautiful beauty in front of you. Gabriel's the name. So, let me ask one more time. Ticket?"
"I don't have a ticket," he snaps. "My little brother and sister just got on this thing, and I'm not leaving until they come back off." Dean eyes the train warily, looking at all the cars and wondering just how many kids are on it, his eyes catching the words 'POLAR EXPRESS' written on the side. "Where's this thing going, anyway?"
"Well, let's see. It's called The Polar Express, so I'd say, hm…the North Pole?"
"The North Pole?" he repeats in disbelief. "You're so full of crap."
"Yeah, sure. Tell me something, kiddo," the guy begins, clearly amused by all this. "When's the last time you wrote a letter to Santa?"
Dean almost bursts out laughing. "C'mon, I don't believe in that kids' stuff anymore. How old do you think I am?"
"Not four anymore," Gabriel says, and Dean freezes. "Yeah, always pretty tragic when that kind of thing happens. You haven't believed since you were a squirt, but despite it all, you always made sure your little brother got to enjoy it."
"How do you know all that?" Dean asks, suddenly afraid. "Who are you?"
"Just a simple winter spirit trying to spread a little cheer, boost the belief of children, et cetera, et cetera." Dean looks at him, completely baffled, and Gabriel just rolls his eyes. "Geez, kids these days. Just beat it, huh? You're screwing up my schedule."
Dean scowls. "I don't give a damn about your schedule. I want Sam and Jo to get off this train pronto."
"Well, see, they went on voluntarily, so that's gonna be a problem. They're entitled to a round-trip to the North Pole, and your unbelieving ass isn't gonna ruin that for them." Gabriel shoos him away. "So, if you don't mind…"
"Take me with you," he demands. "I'm not moving until I'm either on that train or Sam and Jo are back here."
Unbelievably, Gabriel just shrugs. "Sure. Hop aboard, Dean-o. Prepare to have your hormonal little mind blown—and not in the way you're thinking."
His face scrunches up; what a freak. Still, at least he's allowed on the train, where he's ushered into a seat beside a girl with bright red hair wearing a Star Trek nightgown. "Hi, I'm Charlie."
"Dean."
"Aren't you a little old to be here?"
Wow. Getting right into it then. "I'm here to keep my little brother and sister safe," he grumbles, turning to look out the window as they start moving. "What is this thing?"
"It's The Polar Express. It comes to take kids to the North Pole to meet Santa. Isn't that cool?"
"Yeah, well, how come I've never heard of it?"
"Um…maybe it doesn't go to your area?" Charlie guesses, frowning. "I don't know. I didn't hear of it before today, either, but it…seemed like fun. Aren't you excited?"
Dean glances towards the door linking the train cars, where he'd seen Gabriel disappear. "'Excited' isn't exactly the word I'd use…"
The train races through a town of buildings full of people unaware the train even exists, safe for a few children who look at them in excitement or wonder. He wonders why only kids seem to be able to see the thing or even hear it, but more importantly, he wonders why a bunch of kids decide now is the perfect time to clamber towards the windows and stick their elbows in his face.
He's almost relieved when the conductor comes by and all the kids return to their seats, only to stiffen when Gabriel makes his way over to where Dean's sitting, a hand outstretched. "Ticket?"
"You know damn well I don't have a ticket," he snaps while the winter spirit punches two letters into Charlie's: 'LE'.
"Check your pocket." Dean scowls, but obeys, despite how much he hates the smug look on Gabriel's face, which quadruples when Dean, dumbfounded, pulls a golden ticket out of his robe's pocket. The train is on the back, and on the front, it says 'The Polar Express' in a stylized font, 'round-trip' written under it. Gabriel snatches the ticket and punches it, bits of the thing shooting up everywhere and falling like snow before he finally hands it back. "Nice to have you aboard."
"Uh…yeah." He looks at the ticket, 'F…H' punched out on either end with enough space in the middle for a few more letters. "Where's Sam?"
"Patience, patience," Gabriel scolds with a weird wink. "Worry about that after the entertainment, huh?"
"Entertainment?" he repeats dumbly, but the winter spirit has already sauntered off, leaving Dean scowling. "Okay, screw this."
He gets up from his seat with a huff, steadying himself when the train jolts on the previously unseen tracks and nearly sends him to the floor. Right. Train. He's still getting used to that part, as he's never even been near a train before. Still, there are plenty of other cars on this thing, so Sam and Jo shouldn't be that hard to find, right?
"Where are you going?" Charlie asks, getting up on her knees to peer over the back of the seat.
"Gotta find someone. Well, two someones."
"You shouldn't just wander around," she warns. "It's dangerous."
"I'll be fine."
Ticket weighing heavily in his pocket, Dean goes to the door separating the cars and, after a moment, pulls it open. Instantly, there's a bitter wind whipping through the train car, so Dean quickly hustles into the next car to avoid giving anybody frostbite. As he walks down the center of the car, scanning for Sam and Jo as he goes, it doesn't take long for him to realize he's the oldest kid on the train…
Is this really taking them to the North Pole? Does this self-proclaimed 'winter spirit' have anything at all to gain by taking a bunch of kids to the North Pole on a magic train, or is this his job or something? Why is everyone else so weirdly okay with everything that's happening? Aren't they worried at all about where they're going? He knows they're kids, but geez, it's just common sense…
Dean doesn't realize he's in the last car until he opens the door and sees nothing but tracks they've already traveled on and snow-covered trees racing past. He stares for a minute, but the air's cold, and the last thing he needs is to get sick over winter break, so he turns to leave.
That's when something catches his eye. On the rear platform, there are spots in the snow where it looks like something disturbed the snow. He follows the path with his eyes to a spot by the wall of the car, wedged close to the curved rail that wraps around the outside of the platform.
Huddled up against the wall of the car on the outside with his knees to his chest is a boy around his age, his trench coat and head alike absolutely covered in snow. Dean stumbles over his feet in his haste to reach him, wondering why Gabriel would let anyone sit back here. Didn't he have a magically appearing ticket?
"Hey, you okay?" he asks softly, but the kid startles and lifts his head, bright blue eyes locking onto him. "Whoa, hey, it's okay. What are you doing out here?"
"Riding the train…"
"Wouldn't you rather ride inside? It's colder than a witch's tit out here." The boy just looks at him, so Dean guides him upright, brushing the snow off his coat and head and noticing how pale he is. How long was he out here…? "Geez, look at you…"
"Thank you," the boy says when he's finished, but Dean doesn't reply, instead pulling him into the caboose. "Oh. It's much warmer in here."
"Told ya." Dean closes the door behind them, relaxing a little once the wind that had been coming from the open door stops blowing his robe around. "I'm Dean."
"Castiel."
"You, uh, you ever been here before?" Castiel shakes his head a little, looking small from where his ill-fitting trench coat is swallowing him up, hanging all the way down to his bare feet like a dress and even then having enough to drag along the ground. "Me neither. I'm looking for my brother and sister…" He knows without asking that Castiel wouldn't have seen them, so he instead asks, "How about you? Why are you here?"
"I'm going on an adventure, I suppose. I wanted to see the world before…"
"Before?" Dean prompts, but Castiel doesn't answer, so he drops it. "You excited to go to the North Pole? That's apparently where we're going…"
"You don't seem excited," the smaller boy remarks. "Why?"
He just shrugs. "Why should I be?"
"It's the North Pole. It's incredible and…magical. Everything fits together and everyone has a place there, all working together for the benefit of children everywhere," Castiel's eyes grow sad as he finishes, "whether they want to be a part of it all or not."
Dean watches him carefully, noting, "You seem to know a lot about the North Pole."
"I…I've been there before. Many times," the boy admits. "All of us have. The winter spirits, that is."
"You're a winter spirit?" Dean looks him up and down slowly. "You don't seem all that…winter-y."
"I'm in hiding," Castiel murmurs, eyes darting around before looking at him again, holding his arms out to his sides in a way that really makes his coat hang off of him, the sleeves completely covering his hands. "This is my human disguise."
"Is it, now?"
"Yes. I've seen humans wearing coats, so I did, too." The supposed winter spirit squints at him. "Is it too convincing?"
"Uh…yep, that's pretty convincing, all right." That earns him a big gummy smile that makes Dean smile back, even if he's still not convinced that he isn't dreaming all this up. "Why are you hiding, anyway? The conductor's a winter spirit, too, so I doubt he'd care all that much."
"No, I'm hiding from the spirits. You see, when winter spirits reach a certain age, they're brought to the North Pole to be trained to become guards for Santa's workshop and the surrounding village. It's a great honor, much better than wandering aimlessly and spreading winter, but I…I don't want to be a guard or wander aimlessly…"
"What do you wanna do, then?"
"I want to live with the humans," Castiel replies quietly, like he's ashamed. "I like humanity. I haven't gotten to see very much of it, but it seems so…free."
"What, it's not like that back home?" Castiel shakes his head mutedly, and Dean falls silent, watching the snow hit the window in a way that reminds him of driving along the long, winding roads of Sioux Falls. "Lots of snow, huh?"
"The North Pole has more."
"Yeah, I'll bet…" He looks at the sky for a second before frowning. "Hey, I'm gonna keep looking for my family. But I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"
"Okay." The winter spirit does a remarkable job covering his sadness at the idea of being alone again, but enough still seeps through for Dean to feel bad about it, no matter how much he needs to find Sam and Jo. "Goodbye, Dean."
"C'ya, Cas."
Dean carefully returns to the car he'd started in, which he'd assumed was the frontmost passenger car but now isn't so sure. He'd counted the cars when he was getting on, but it's possible he miscounted, or—hell, knowing Gabriel, he wouldn't be surprised if the guy just magically created more train cars just for the hell of it.
Before he can decide what to do next, Gabriel comes into the car with a twinkle in his eye that promises trouble. "How's everyone enjoying the trip so far? Good? Good…"
"Still wondering where Sam and Jo are," Dean grumbles, but he's ignored by all but Charlie, who gives him a sympathetic look from where she's sitting beside him. "Seriously, I searched the whole train and—"
"Anyone in the mood for any…refreshments?" Gabriel asks, and if that doesn't drown him out, the excited torrent of 'yes's that follows certainly does. "Hmm, thought so. Well, what do you say to some hot chocolate?"
Just as the conductor finishes his sentence, the front door to the train car bursts open and a group of guys that inexplicably look just like Gabriel but with horrible fake mustaches and weird waistcoat and unbuttoned white shirts come bounding out, carrying trays of massive teacups and pots of some steaming liquid.
They then proceed to do all kinds of handsprings and cartwheels all down the car's aisle, turning every other seat around as they go until there are tables with booths on either side and Dean's facing two kids he's never seen before. Before he can even begin to process the sudden axis shift, there's a steaming cup of hot chocolate (at least, he assumes that's what it is if the weird song Gabriel's belting out is to believed) in front of him, complete with a little saucer, both marked with a stylized overlapping 'PE'.
He gets a random idea and takes his cup, stashing it underneath the booth just in time for another backflipping clone to leap over the table and give him another one. Then, as quickly as it started, the whole thing is over and all the clones are leaving the car, presumably off to go terrorize another fleet of kids and give them weirdly good hot chocolate.
"What the hell just happened?" he asks when Gabriel disappears too, his booth now facing forward again. "What was the point of that?"
"No idea, but the hot chocolate's pretty good," Charlie replies with a grin, a hot chocolate mustache on her upper lip. "Hey, did you find your siblings?"
"No, not yet. Hey, do you know how many other cars there are? I thought we were in the front one."
"Um…yeah, I think we are." Charlie frowns, kicking her Harry Potter owl slippers slowly. "Man, now I'm confused."
"Yeah, you're telling me…" He figures he can't head back to Castiel right now, so he looks at the girl beside him. "Hey, how come you're on this train, anyway? You seem smart enough to realize this is crazy. I mean, have you seen the conductor? Guy's a total weirdo."
"Oh…I just wanted to get away from it all." Her face turns sad and she wipes her mouth, if only to cover her face. "I kinda was just in a car crash. My dad was killed and my mom…she's in a coma. I don't know, it seemed like a good idea. Good way to forget, at least for a little while…"
"Man, that sucks…" He sighs, continuing, "My mom died when I was little. It's…hard to move on. Hell, I don't think I actually have. You just kinda…live on, I guess. The world doesn't stop just because your situation is crap."
"Don't I know it." Charlie offers a weak sort of smile before her eyes drop to his cup, which is still nearly full. "Hey, why aren't you drinking your hot chocolate? If you don't like it, I wouldn't mind seconds—or thirds, since you have another stuffed under your seat like a squirrel."
Dean makes a face. "It's not for me. There's a…kid in the back. He didn't get one."
"Oh. That's nice of you. You gonna give it to him now?" He shrugs, and Charlie adds, "I'll keep an eye out for your siblings. Floppy brown hair on Sam and Jo's a blonde, right?"
"Yep. Thanks."
With that, he stands and carefully carries the two cups through the cars and all the way to the caboose, which he belatedly realizes looks a lot different than the other cars with its grey color scheme to contrast the vibrant red in the rest of the train, not to mention the weird seat placement.
"Cas? You here?" He looks around for the winter spirit, finding Castiel curled up underneath one of the seats, hiding. Dean walks over and kneels in front of the seat, setting one of the cups on the ground. "Got something for you. You like hot chocolate, buddy?"
"Hot…chocolate?" Castiel crawls out from under the seat, eyes big and curious as he looks at the cup. "How is the chocolate liquid? Did it melt too much?"
"Uh…it tastes good?" Dean offers, taking a sip of his own lukewarm drink as Castiel copies him in a way that reminds him of Sammy when they were younger. "Good, right?"
Castiel nods while he's drinking, getting drops of hot chocolate everywhere, but Dean just grins, sitting down on the seat, the smaller boy doing the same after a moment. They finish their drinks in silence, enjoying the warmth it offers as well as the warmth of the train car. Even though he's just in a pair of pajamas and a robe, Dean doesn't feel all that cold. Must be all the Christmas magic.
They talk a little, but for the most part, they just enjoy the ride. At some point, something in the air changes, becoming almost electrified the way it gets right before a storm, only more…peaceful. Dean looks out one of the windows, eyes lighting up at the sight that meets his eyes.
"Hey, come check this out." Leaving his empty cup on the seat, he gets up and hurries over to the back door, pulling Cas along with him by the hand in his haste to get them outside and onto the rear platform, giving them a great view of the sky. "Look, the Northern Lights."
"They're beautiful."
"Yeah…wonder what causes them."
"Magic," Castiel replies, deadpan, and Dean laughs. "No, really. The Northern Lights are a reflection of the magic being used by all the winter spirits that guard the North Pole. It's like…ripples on a lake."
"So it's a protective barrier around the North Pole? What does that place have to hide?"
"Please. You have any idea how many people and spirits alike would kill to get a peek in the big man's workshop?" Gabriel scoffs, and both their heads snap over to him, stunned and, in Castiel's case, afraid. "Hi, Castiel! Having a good train ride?"
"Um…" Castiel looks caught, eyes huge and wary.
"What, you thought I didn't know you were here? C'mon, gimme a little more credit than that, Cassie." The conductor looks at Dean, far too amused for Dean's comfort. "So, aren't you gonna introduce me to your little boyfriend?"
"Gabriel," Castiel hisses, pale face finally gaining some color.
"His name's Gabriel? As great of a name as that is, won't it be a little weird to hear at the family dinner table?"
"Gabriel!"
"Aw, I'm just teasing." Gabriel pinches his cheeks, earning him a scowl that makes Dean smirk, having done that to Sam more times than he can count despite how much Sammy hates it. "Don't look at me like that. Not my fault you have such a squishable face."
Castiel wiggles out of the hold, head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. "You knew I was here the whole time?"
"Well, duh."
"And you're…okay with it?"
Gabriel's face softens in a way Dean didn't know he was capable of. "'Course, kiddo. Everybody deserves a chance to check out the world around them and live their life, don't they?" Castiel doesn't look convinced, so the older winter spirit snaps his fingers. "Oh, hey, do me a favor and check your pockets, baby bro."
Dean tries to hide his surprise at the idea that Gabriel and Castiel are presumably related. Then again, family doesn't just mean people who are related; Jo's basically his sister even though they don't have any common relatives or anything, so maybe it's more like that. Or maybe it's just a spirit thing.
Castiel pulls a golden ticket out of one of the pockets of his trench coat, clearly as surprised to find it as Dean had been, and Gabriel takes it with a surprising gentleness, carving two letters into it: 'LI'.
The younger winter spirit frowns and holds it up. "It doesn't say 'lie,' does it? I've never been a very good liar…"
"Boy, don't I know it. But alas, you'll find out soon enough." Gabriel puts a hand on both of their shoulders, and if Dean looks closely, he can see a bunch of lights in the distance, so near one another that they almost mold together as one. "We'll be there pretty soon, so when you two are done, get back in there and go to your seats, huh?"
With that, Gabriel leaves the train car entirely, leaving them alone. "So, Gabriel's your brother?" he asks, and Castiel nods a little. "Hm. Is he magical?"
"We all have some powers, though mine are much weaker than Gabriel's. I could never run a train…"
"Well, what can you do?" He doesn't like the resigned look on the spirit's face and tries to get rid of it. "Can you show me?"
Castiel just nods and closes his eyes, like he's focusing. Then, just like that, there's a light snowfall coming from somewhere inside. Dean looks up to find the source, but all that earns him are more questions and some snowflakes on his face. After about a minute, the snow stops coming and Castiel meets his eyes again. When Dean smiles, he smiles back.
"That was awesome, Cas," he breathes, and Castiel's expression turns somewhat shy.
"It wasn't anything impressive. My powers are much weaker than any of the other winter spirits…"
"Well, I thought it was awesome."
That earns him a bashful sort of smile. "Thank you, Dean."
Eventually, Dean notices the lights of the once-distant city getting closer and leads Castiel by the hand back into the train car Dean had originally been sitting in. Castiel resists a little, but it isn't difficult to convince him to follow despite his concerns about being singled-out by the other kids.
Once they're in a train car that's actually lit up, it's easier to see that Castiel isn't human, since his skin is way too pale and has sort of a blue tint to it that makes his pink lips stand out a lot more—not that Dean's looking or anything!—but it's subtle enough that people probably won't notice unless they're looking for it like Dean had been.
The booth seats are clearly only meant to seat two, but Castiel squeezes in beside him, anyway, immediately drawing Charlie's attention since the winter spirit is now squished between him and Charlie. "Hi, I'm Charlie."
"Castiel…"
"Are you that kid that was in the back of the train? The one Dean brought a hot chocolate to?" Castiel nods a little, looking decidedly freaked out as he keeps glancing over at Dean for help, making Dean bite the inside of his cheek to conceal a smile. "How come you were sitting way back there? Is there a secret dining car I don't know about?"
"Um…no…"
Dean pats Castiel's shoulder comfortingly, face softening when the smaller boy hides his face in Dean's own shoulder, making Dean bring him into a light hug. He wonders if Castiel's ever really talked to humans before, wonders if he's maybe the first one the boy interacted with. It'd taken him a little bit to warm up to Dean enough to really talk, so he wouldn't be surprised.
"Aww, you guys are such a cute couple," Charlie coos, making Dean freeze. "You're giving me cavities."
Before he can really even process that, some kid in the back yells, "Look! Elves!"
Everybody's eyes snap over to the nearest window, where they're currently riding through an old-fashioned type of city with cobblestone streets and weirdly rectangular brick buildings that are all decked out in strings of Christmas lights. In the middle of the city (the North Pole?) is a gigantic Christmas tree that the train cruises right up to before slowing to a stop.
Some of the smaller kids don't waste a second before scrambling out of their seats, but Gabriel pops up before anyone can get to any door. "Hey, hey, all right, let's take a second to breathe, huh? No need to break down the walls. Now, we're gonna be going in two neat, orderly columns to ensure nobody gets trampled…"
Gabriel keeps on talking, but a majority of the kids don't listen and the second the door opens, they pour out to look around. Weirdly, the first thing Dean notices is how it's not even cold even though it really should be, because none of them (besides Castiel and his ill-fitting trench coat, though he doesn't think Castiel's wearing anything under it either way) have a coat and most of them are barefoot. He chalks it up as Christmas magic and doesn't dwell on it, keeping a hold on Castiel's hand so that he doesn't get lost in the torrent of little dudes in tacky red jumpsuits; the elves, no doubt.
They seem to swarm the giant Christmas tree, not an inch of space between them, and it makes Dean deeply uncomfortable in a way he doesn't understand. He ignores it, instead looking over the messy columns of kids that had come off the train, eyes scanning for a messy mop of brown or a head of blond hair.
"Hey, do you know what time it is?" Charlie asks. "My watch says 11:55, but it's been 11:55 the whole train ride."
"Uh…no, sorry. I don't have a watch." Try as he might, he just can't find those two, and the panic starts to set in. "Hey, Cas, uh…can you help me look for my brother and sister?"
"Of course."
They carefully break away from the group and go a short distance away to look over all the kids, trying to find Sam and Jo. "Could they have snuck away?" he asks, increasingly worried. "Is that a thing? Could they just be lost in the North Pole somewhere?"
"The winter spirits wouldn't let them wander away," Castiel assures, but Dean isn't convinced. "I could try to ask them, if you'd like."
"Won't they catch you?"
"Um…maybe. I doubt they're looking for me, though."
Dean looks at him skeptically, watching all his shifting and squirming. "Starting to see where the 'terrible liar' thing is starting to come in…" Castiel looks even squirrellier, so he just shrugs, not wanting to miss the opportunity to explore more of what might just be a really weird dream. "Couldn't hurt, though, so, uh…lead the way, buddy."
Dean's still not really sure what he's signing himself up for, but allows himself to be pulled off in one direction or another for what feels like miles before they come to a stop behind some sort of a stone building. Castiel puts a finger to his lips to indicate they should be quiet, and Dean nods, silently looking behind the winter spirit to see what's happening.
There, standing stock-still in the snow, is a tall dude holding a spear, his skin decidedly very blue and his eyes an unnatural grey. There's a fine layer of snow piled up on his armor, but he still won't move an inch. If he's cold, he doesn't show it in the slightest, making Dean shift uncomfortably until he gets an idea and leans down to scoop up a ball of snow.
"What are you doing?" Castiel asks quietly, but Dean just smirks and throws the snowball at the guy, only for it to disintegrate in a puff seconds after leaving his hand. He looks over to see Castiel's hand raised, face worried. "Dean, we can't be caught."
"Right. Sorry." He still thinks the guy would look better with a snowball to the face, but lets it slide either way. "So, this is what happens to the winter spirits? They're just forever on guard duty?" Castiel nods a little, and Dean's frown deepens. "Sounds boring as hell. No wonder you'd rather run off with the humans."
"I find humans fascinating," the winter spirit says as they silently watch the guard, who doesn't move a muscle. "I've never actually been so close to any before I watched the train come in one day. They…they looked like they were having…fun and I…I wanted to know what it was like."
"That's why you snuck on the train," he surmises.
"I was curious." Castiel's eyes drop. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do now. How can I return to a life of this when I've only begun to experience the world outside of this place?"
"What do you wanna do?"
"What I want is something I can't have," Castiel replies with a frown. "I don't want to wander aimlessly forever, or stand guard forever, but it doesn't seem like I have a choice."
Dean gives him a sympathetic look, but there's not much he can do about Castiel's predicament, either. He's been dealt a crappy hand, that's for sure. All his options suck and there doesn't seem to be a way out beyond just running away. But Castiel's just a weird, dorky…little guy, and he doesn't really have a clue how the world works. He'd get eaten alive no matter how many little snowflakes he can squish together.
"Hey, uh, if you want to visit me sometime…I mean…I'd let you, y'know? Sioux Falls is kinda like the North Pole, temperature-wise, I think. Shouldn't be too different."
Castiel's eyes drift over his shoulder, and Dean follows his line of sight to the lone guard standing there, unmoving and cold in every sense of the word. "Different isn't necessarily a bad thing…"
"Yeah. Maybe different's good, sometimes."
Eventually, Dean gets tired of watching the guard (Castiel sure wasn't kidding when he said the whole guard duty thing was as dull as watching grass grow) and asks to go back to the train. Castiel takes his hand in his own smaller one again, his fingers ice cold in a way that'd probably feel great in the summer but are just kind of unpleasant until they sap up some of Dean's body heat now.
It doesn't even occur to Dean that they might be lost until he realizes they've seen the same weird tree three times, making him pause. "Cas, level with me. Do you have any clue where we are right now?"
"I'm…working on it?"
He looks around the vast white wilderness of ice and snow and sighs. Of course.
It takes hours for them to find their way back to the train, and Dean never thought he'd be so happy to see the thing. He's a whole lot less happy to see Gabriel smirking at them knowingly, and even less happy than that when Gabriel hands Castiel a folded up napkin.
"Here. In case you guys wanna do any more exploring." The conductor claps his hands together and addresses the crowd. "All righty, kiddos, it's nearly midnight, so I hope you guys are ready to see the big guy himself…"
Castiel looks between Dean and the napkin before unfolding it. Inside is a terrible drawing of a train and a dashed line with several loop-the-loops twining between the four corners of the map. It takes Dean a solid ten seconds to realize the stick figure with the lines on its face in the middle is supposed to be Santa, and even longer to figure out the stacked triangles are trees. Then there are the stick guys with the angry faces and long arrows in their hands, which might be the winter spirit guards they'd just encountered, though whether Gabriel drew them in to be useful or just to dick around, Dean doesn't have a clue. Actually, given that this is Gabriel, it's almost certainly the latter…
All thoughts of any further adventures disappear when he looks up to see a bunch of skydiving elves fresh off these striped hot air balloons jump down to the ground, making a bunch of brats roar their approval. Dean's eyes are locked into the giant red bag that's connected to the balloons and is slowly being lowered to the ground at the base of the massive Christmas tree before more elves jump out to tie off the bag with a neat little bow.
Dean's eyes scan the crowd again for Sam and Jo, but can't see them anywhere. He's about to storm up to Gabriel and demands answers when the crowd of elves splits and eight reindeer come out of nowhere, each decked out in strings of little bells that shake and swing as the reindeer try to rear up and stomp the elves…or something.
"Oh wow—those bells sound so magical!" Charlie says from somewhere beside him and Castiel nods along, though Dean notices that the winter spirit's eyes are locked on him and not the reindeer. Then again, this is probably an everyday thing for him, so… "I've never heard anything like it!"
"I don't hear a thing," Dean mutters as the little kids around him say similar things about the bells and their amazing noises, and Castiel goes and squints at him, making Dean defensive. "What?"
"You don't hear the bells?" Dean shakes his head, and Castiel's face falls before turning serious. "This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith."
"I have plenty of faith," he snaps.
"No, you don't. You…you don't believe in anything…"
"I believe in you," Dean replies sharply, trying to portray that he knows Castiel's real and everything even if all the rest of this is crap, but the little winter spirit smiles at him.
"I'll help you believe in other things, too." Castiel takes his hand, squeezing it gently. "You have to have faith, Dean."
Dean scowls and pointedly looks away, eyes going back to the strings of silent bells and listening to the gross snuffling of animals before sudden music with blaring trumpets or something brassy drowns out even the loudest and most annoying squeals from the peanut gallery as the reindeer are hooked up to the sleigh that also comes out of nowhere.
Then, all sound suddenly stops and it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop before the kids, without prompt or instruction or anything, all start singing 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' in perfect sync including the weird pauses they all make, like the strangest cult initiation ritual Dean's ever seen. He's more than a little weirded out, but is distracted from the freakiness by looking at Castiel, who looks even paler than ever, his cold hand sweaty.
"Hey, you okay?" The winter spirit nods, looking decidedly uneasy, so Dean presses, "C'mon, what's wrong?"
"I think this was a bad idea," he whispers, eyes growing impossibly wider when these doors open and a huge shadow hovers over the crowd of elves, who have cleared a path without a thought even though a bunch of the little bastards are still jumping around and blocking everybody's view. "Dean, I…I think I should go."
His breathing gets faster and faster and Dean gets worried, squeezing his hand. "Hey, breathe, Cas. It'll be fine. The guy probably won't even show up for a bunch of stuck-up little brats—"
"He's right there, Dean," the winter spirit interrupts, sounding somewhat frantic, pulling his hand out of Dean's to run through his hair, obviously freaking out. "Dean, he'll-he'll see me—"
"It's okay," Dean tries, looking out just in time to spot a scrawny sort of dude with a surprisingly short beard, not to mention a non-existent potbelly. At least the red suit is right… "Wait, is-is that—?"
Castiel makes a panicked sound, and Dean soothes him gently and pulls him into a hug that lets the smaller boy hide his face as…Santa gets uncomfortably close, looking over the kids. He makes a few comments to random people and even looks at Charlie, saying that something wasn't her fault and she shouldn't treat it like it was, making Charlie look away, all traces of a smile gone.
"He okay?" Santa asks with a frown, and Dean gently rubs Castiel's back through the trench coat when he feels him shudder.
"Yeah, he's just, y'know, can't believe this is happening and all that," Dean lies rapidly. "You know how it is. Not every day you get to meet Santa Claus."
At this, the guy cringes. "Please, call me Chuck."
Dean can't help but crack a smile, repeating somewhat hysterically, "Chuck."
Chuck doesn't do more than nod, look at the back of Castiel's head, and walk away to go to the sleigh, leaving Dean feeling somewhat unsettled. He doesn't comment on it, but it's not a few minutes later that the lucky kid that gets to have the first gift and all that it entails is to be chosen.
"Um…how about that little guy in the dirty trench coat? Why don't you come up here and get your gift?"
"Uh, nah, we're good," Dean replies for the smaller boy when he immediately starts shaking like a leaf. "I'm sure there's somebody better here that wants that gift thing more, huh?"
"Maybe, but he was chosen, so." Chuck shrugs slightly. "Come on up here."
"Dean, he knows," Castiel whispers, panic overtaking his tone. "He knows. He knows and he'll never let me—I-I can't—"
"It's fine, Cassie," Gabriel says surprisingly gently, and Castiel pulls his face out of Dean's robe to look at him. "Trust me, baby bro. You'll be fine."
Dean's still trying to process the fact that Castiel is Gabriel's little brother, but lets the smaller boy go when he makes a move to leave. He watches as Castiel slowly walks up to the sleigh, freezing when one of the reindeer turns to look at him. Castiel looks like he's gonna shake right out of his skin, but does manage to climb up and stand beside Chuck, thankfully not going in his lap or anything weird.
"Now, what, uh, what do you want for Christmas?"
"Um…" Dean can see Castiel's deer-in-the-headlights look from here and winces in sympathy. "I-I think…you should pick someone else."
"Hey, I get it, okay? But I already chose you, so you might as well just say it. Not just anybody gets to have the first gift of Christmas, you know." Castiel still doesn't look convinced, and Chuck sighs. "Just think of what you want more than anything in the world and…tell me about it."
Castiel finally leans close and whispers something that Dean can't hear. Curious, he glances at Gabriel. "What do you think he's asking for?"
"What he really wants, I hope…" Gabriel replies with all the quiet worry of an older brother, making the idea of a connection a little more believable.
"Hm… Yeah, I can do that," Chuck agrees with a nod before clapping his hands together. "Okay! And that's it for the first gift of Christmas! And, uh, Castiel? I'll see what I can do, okay?"
With that, the winter spirit returns to Dean through a sea of jealous kids, but he's frowning even before Dean asks, "What did you ask for?"
"I…I never told him my name," Castiel says instead of answering, squinting at the weird guy in the sleigh just as the clock tower starts chiming about how it's midnight now and officially Christmas Day.
"You think he knew who you were?"
"I'm not sure. I don't think I ever met him before…"
Dean watches him for a moment before shrugging. "I wouldn't worry about it. If he watches everybody sleep, he probably knows everybody's name, too."
Speaking of which, the sleigh gets ready to take off in the form of Chuck actually whipping the reindeer with some…thing made out of pure light or Christmas magic or something, though the sight is still something Dean never thought he'd see. The sleigh circles around the giant Christmas tree it'd been parked in front of, making all the lights glow even brighter.
On a final wind around the tree and another crack of his whip, something not unlike a portal appears and the sleigh disappears with a big rain of sparkles of light or even more Christmas magic or…something? Dean's admittedly not sure what the hell's going on anymore, but Chuck is gone and it makes all the elves throw their hats up in the air like a weird graduation celebration.
Some of the elves start singing then, but Dean thankfully doesn't have to listen for more than a few minutes as Gabriel herds everybody back on the train one at a time so he can punch their tickets again. From what Dean's overheard, the tickets weren't actually complete when just the two letters were put on there. Through it all, he doesn't catch so much as a glimpse of Sam or Jo.
"'Let go'?" Charlie repeats quietly when it's her turn, which is right before him and Castiel since they're all in the back of the line.
"Everybody's got something they're guilty about, so it might as well be something that's actually your fault," the conductor replies. "What happened in that accident wasn't on you, kiddo. And getting all worked up about it isn't doing anybody any good, so you might as well just move on."
"I know it wasn't really my fault, but I just can't…"
"Let go?" Gabriel offers, and Charlie nods and ducks her head, scurrying onto the train. "Well, if it isn't the power couple of the evening. Ticket?"
Castiel hands his ticket over, and Dean watches as a torrent of…ticket-bits fly all over the place, making him scowl. "Hey, watch where you're clipping that thing…" Gabriel rolls his eyes and hands Castiel's ticket back, and Dean reads it. 'Live'.
"How…how do I do that?" Castiel asks quietly, but Gabriel just winks, because he's a dick.
"Your turn, hot shot." Dean barely holds his ticket out before Gabriel snatches it up and starts clipping the hell out of it before finally handing it back. 'Faith'. Wait, does that son of a bitch know…? "All right, kiddos, get your asses on the train—that means you too, Cassie—we're on a tight schedule and all that, and I gotta get you kids home."
They shuffle back onto the train with Gabriel behind them just rearing to go. Dean takes Castiel's hand before he can squirm away to hide in the caboose again, forcing the two of them to share a booth with Charlie like before. Dean rubs his thumb along the back of Castiel's chilly hand, thinking.
"So…Gabriel."
"Gabriel," Castiel repeats.
"You two close?"
"Somewhat. He's a lot older and more powerful than me though, so we don't 'hang out' much. More of a caretaker than a brother."
Dean winces at that, the situation reminding him far too much of raising little Sammy in various motel rooms across the country, making him suddenly just a little more thankful for Ellen and Bobby while also wondering if Castiel has an Ellen or Bobby to raise him since Gabriel doesn't seem to really give a crap. Then again, maybe it's just a winter spirit thing, since the guards didn't exactly seem all that willing to cozy up to a squirt of any size.
Before he can ask if nomadic snow dudes even have parents, Charlie butts in to ask incredulously, "The conductor is your brother?" At Castiel's slight nod, she adds, "I can't really see the resemblance."
"Our magic signatures are similar," the winter spirit offers, and Charlie's eyes get huge right before she launches into a thousand questions—most of which go right over Castiel's head.
Dean sighs and accepts that he's not gonna be getting a word in edgewise anytime soon and relaxes into his seat, not realizing that he's still holding Castiel's hand until the winter spirit squeezes it nervously, obviously not sure how to deal with the onslaught of questions hitting him over the head.
He bites the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling, keeping his eyes fixed out the window until the questions apparently become too much for him and he pushes his face into Dean's neck. Dean squawks at the sudden cold seeping into his previously nicely warm neck, but doesn't do anything to dislodge Castiel, even as Charlie coos at them in a way that should piss him off but weirdly…doesn't.
It's then that he realizes, like the thought had hit him over his hard head, that he wouldn't mind kissing Castiel. Like, on the mouth, even. Kisses are still gross, but for some reason, the idea of kissing Castiel…isn't as gross as it should be. Maybe it's just because his lips would probably be cold like his skin, so it'd be like making out with a popsicle or something. That must be it.
Dean tries not to show any signs of the strange direction his thoughts went by making his face as neutral as possible, even though Castiel's not in any position to even look at him right now. Charlie, as if aware of his thoughts, starts grinning like a lunatic, though, which does piss him off.
"Well, what do we have here?" Gabriel begins (Gabriel does a lot of 'beginning,' Dean's noticed, given how often he starts new sentences. Dude loves the sound of his own voice), poking his nose through the door separating this train car and a different one. Castiel presses closer to Dean, but the damage is done and the conductor has his scope locked on to his latest target. "Enjoying the human pillow, Cassie? He does like to hit the pie…"
"Screw you," Dean mutters, though he does self-consciously glance down at his stomach, just to see if he really should lay off the pie, or if Gabriel's just being an ass. After years of skimping on meals so that Sammy could have more, he's still trying to get used to the idea of an all but infinite food supply that means he doesn't have to get while the getting's good. "You have an actual reason to be here or are you just here to harass some kids?"
"Just my brother, actually. Wouldn't wanna leave him at the mercy of the ravenous wolves called 'monotony'. Oh, and you, of course."
"Of course," Dean mocks with a scoff. "Don't you have anything better to do?"
"Nope," the conductor chirps, leaning down to poke Castiel's head. "Besides, what better to do then get to know the future in-law?"
"Gabriel." Castiel pulls his face out of Dean's neck just to pout at the guy like a toddler that was just told they can't have all the candy they want. "Why are you here?"
"Oh, come on. I make all the effort to come down here and see you just to get a 'what are you doing here'?" Castiel squints, and Gabriel pouts, reaching over to squish Castiel's face. "Aw, you're no fun. Do I need to break out the embarrassing stories?"
Dean watches the smaller boy's eyes go wide seconds before he reaches out and slaps a hand over Gabriel's mouth. When the hand pulls away, there's a thin sheet of ice on the conductor's lips. Unfortunately, that doesn't slow the motor mouth winter spirit down for more than a few seconds.
"So," Gabriel begins with a wide smirk as droplets of water from the melted ice run down his chin, "one time, when Cassie was just a little thing about the size of a watermelon, he decided it'd be a great idea to try to pet the reindeer—"
"They looked very soft…" Castiel mumbles, finally getting some color in his pale face as it turns an endearing pink, making Dean smile.
"Yeah, well, you're just lucky I was there to keep you from getting pancake'd by their hooves. Now, you weren't so lucky with that whole thing where you made a snowman on top of a building—"
"You told me to!"
"Suggested, my dear Castiel," Gabriel corrects with a wicked sort of grin. "What about that time we took a little trip south and you decided you wanted a pet lemming? Or maybe we should talk about when you first realized you could do more than just withstand the cold with your powers? Now, if I recall correctly, you nearly leveled the North Pole with that one."
"Gabriel, I couldn't even knock over a single tree."
"And you still can't. Always warned you about being such a bleeding heart about everything. Like when you tried to 'rescue' those seals during mating season…"
It's a long ride before something happens in the engine room that needs Gabriel's attention. Blissful silence follows, and Dean tentatively relaxes into his seat. After a few moments, Castiel leans into his side again and Dean allows it, pressing a slight kiss to the top of his head just to see what it's like.
Surprisingly, it's not…bad, or gross, or anything like that. He even does it two more times to make sure, and is able to conclude that he wouldn't mind if he had to kiss Castiel…like, more in the future. Not that they'll necessarily be…doing that, in the future. Hell, Dean's not even sure if he'll ever see Castiel again after—
The thought hits him like an anvil to the head. These last few hours between here and Dean's house could very well be the last time he sees the winter spirit, and Dean's not sure how to handle that. He considers asking Gabriel about The Polar Express' train schedule, but he doubts he'd get a real answer.
He'll just…have to enjoy what little time he has left, Dean decides. Like the birthday party Ellen and Bobby let him have last year, the first one he's had since he was little. Yeah, he'll just have to make the most of it, even if the thing that sounds the best right now is just doing more of this, relaxing with the winter spirit by his side.
Just as Dean's beginning to doze off, the doors to the train car slam open and Gabriel, followed by at least a dozen mustached clones, bursts in. "Is anybody in the mood for any refreshments?"
Kids immediately start screaming in joy, because kids are obnoxious. As if the hot chocolate wasn't sugary enough, Gabriel and Co. start tossing out chocolate and lollipops and candy canes and all sorts of crap that'll rot the teeth of every sugar fiend on this godforsaken train.
"Son of a bitch," Dean grumbles as a mountain of lollipops are dropped all over his and Castiel's heads, courtesy of one backflipping douchebag who doesn't spare them a glance, lest he screw up the dance sequence. "Seriously, what's with all the lollipops?"
He's always been more of a chocolate guy himself, and since Gabriel seems to know whether he not he sent a letter to Santa or sat on any middle-aged dudes' laps this year, Dean would've thought the guy would already know this. Actually, knowing him, he probably did this just to piss him off…
"Why, for practice, of course," Gabriel chirps with a wink, and Charlie bursts out laughing beside them. Castiel just tilts his head like a particularly puzzled puppy until Charlie leans over to whisper something in his ear, presumably an explanation that Dean doesn't need. "You'll need it."
"Gabriel!" Castiel all but shrieks, face now a healthy pink, and Dean chucks a few pieces of candy at the conductor just for that, though he's well aware that it's an older brother's duty to basically humiliate the poor sap born a few years later.
In response, Gabriel just ruffles Castiel's already messy hair, gives Dean a frankly creepy wink, and hauls his identical carbon copied boy band off to go emotionally scar the kids in the next train car, and Dean's just glad to see him go.
"Well, what are we gonna do with all these?" He pokes at the pile of lollipops on his lap with a scowl before turning to Charlie. "Uh, want one?"
"Sorry, dude, I don't swing that way." She twirls a candy cane around her finger. "Just wait until that weird guy comes back and throw them at him. Or better yet—just throw it all on the floor and make him clean it up later, like all the popcorn on the floor at the movie theater."
He grins. "Charlie, you evil genius."
"Well, I do try."
Dean glances at Castiel to see if he's also in support of the petty plan, but he's pointedly avoiding any and all eye contact, face still badly flushed. Dean pokes at his cheek, and that makes it worse in a way Dean enjoys far more than he'd care to think about.
Eventually, the action dies down and things slow down enough for Dean to relax again and eventually drift off, content with Castiel's cool presence pressing into his side, like he's an oversized teddy bear. Dean's far from the only kid in the train car to fall asleep, but he is the first to wake up to Gabriel tossing gumdrops at his face.
"Dude, what the hell?" he mutters tiredly, forcing his eyes open to see what's happening. "Why?"
"We're here," Gabriel replies, unexpectedly serious. "Sioux Falls. Time to go home."
"Oh." Dean swallows, looking around as Charlie blinks her eyes open. He glances out the window to see Ellen and Bobby's house, and it finally sinks in that it's all over now. "Right." He sits up slowly, but Castiel still squirms and pulls him closer, arms wrapping around his waist in sleepy, disgruntled protest. "Cas, I gotta go."
"Don't want you to leave," the smaller boy mumbles back, holding him tighter. "Stay."
"I can't," he sighs. "I gotta get back to Sam and Jo. They…they're already back home. I can't just leave them, y'know?"
"I…I don't want you to leave." Ah, damn. Here come the puppy-dog eyes. Dean's face softens without his input and he puts a hand on Castiel's shoulder until they can look into each other's eyes. "Dean?"
"This doesn't have to be a goodbye. Could just be a…see you later, right?"
"I guess…"
Dean slowly gets up, but turns back to Charlie and asks for her contact information, as there's not a snowball's chance in Hell that they're not talking about all this over the phone or internet chatrooms or whatever they can get their hands on, since Charlie lives a good distance away. Dean tries to dig the same information out of Castiel, but when it becomes clear he has no idea what literally anything is, Dean gives up.
"Well…guess this is it," Dean says awkwardly, standing by the stairs that lead off the train. "That was wild, huh?"
"The wildest," Charlie agrees, throwing her arms around his neck in a brief hug before pulling away to flash the Vulcan Salute as she returns to the train car. "Peace out bitches."
"Cas…" Dean begins, seeing Castiel standing there, clearly unsure of what to do. Before he can get anything else out, Castiel's launching himself at Dean in a hug, desperately pressing as close as possible. "Hey, okay, all right…"
The hug lasts longer than any hug Dean's ever had. Through it all, Gabriel watches them with an unreadable expression, and Dean tries his best to ignore his presence altogether and focus on the nerdy little dude with the snow powers in his arms. Eventually, Dean pulls out of the hug, not wanting to leave Sam and Jo hanging.
"It'll be okay, Cas. I'll…see you later, remember?" Castiel nods sadly, and after a moment of hesitation, Dean kisses his forehead and steps back. "Uh. C'ya, Cas."
"Goodbye, Dean…"
Dean stares at him for another moment before forcing himself to step off the train and onto solid ground. He watches Gabriel guide Castiel back inside with a gentle hand on the shoulder, and watches the train slowly roll away on invisible tracks beneath the thick snow on the ground. He stares and stares, staining his eyes until he can't even see the warm reddish glow of the huge light on the back of the caboose, until it's impossible to even hear the train chugging away.
He sighs quietly and steps inside his house, eyes quickly drawn to the clock. 12:00 AM exactly; it's officially Christmas Day. And yet, there aren't any presents under the lit up tree yet and the milk and cookies sit untouched on the counter. Dean frowns and looks around for Sam and Jo, but can't see either of them.
He goes upstairs slowly and checks Jo's room first, and she's far too comfortable to have just fallen into bed in the time it took Dean to say his goodbyes; unless she drools that much, he doesn't think it's possible to fake getting the sheets to cling to her face…
He pulls the blanket a little higher around her and goes to his and Sam's room, unnerved by the strange too-quiet silence in the house that's quickly disrupted by Sam's familiar rumbling snore. He peeks in the top bunk, but Sam's totally out. There's no way either of them are faking it, but…didn't they get on the train?
Dean's hand goes to his pocket and he pulls out his ticket. 'Faith'. At this point, he's not sure what he's even supposed to have faith in when he's starting to wonder if any of that even happened, wonder just how much of that was nothing more than a dream or something.
Still, it's Christmas, and with two little kids in the house, that means getting up at the ass crack of dawn at the cost of the poor adults who'd only just gotten to sleep, so Dean lays down and closes his eyes and prepares for the tomorrow that will inevitably come.
Just like that, his magic adventure on The Polar Express is over, and he's left wondering whether it ever even happened at all.
"Dean! Dean! Wake up, it's Christmas!" Jo screeches from where she's pulling at his hair to rouse him, and Dean makes an effort to slap her away but misses, too groggy to figure out what's happening. "Dean!"
"C'mon, Dean, get up," Sam whines too, and the moment Dean makes the slightest effort to move into something resembling vertical, both Sam and Jo are racing from the room. "Ellen, Bobby, wake up!"
"It's Christmas! Get up!"
Dean makes a noise somewhere between an unsympathetic chuckle and a groan. His eyes move towards the window to confirm not even the sun is ready to deal with the day yet, meaning it's definitely far too early to be awake. Not that that'll stop two kids on Christmas morning from setting off a smoke detector just to get them up, but really, if the sun isn't up, Dean sees no reason for him to be.
He still lets himself be shoved downstairs and to the tree, which has a decent pile for the three of them (and whatever Ellen and Bobby got for each other). The plate is just full of crumbs where the cookies had been, as Sam enthusiastically notes while Ellen and Bobby take their sweet time getting down here, and the glass of milk is empty.
"Yeah, that's really something." A thought occurs to him and he hesitates before asking, "Hey, where were you guys last night? I couldn't find you anywhere."
Sam frowns. "What are you talking about? We were sleeping."
"So you didn't see or hear any trains…? You-you didn't get on one run by some weirdo that wishes he could grow a mustache?"
"A train?" Jo gasps from where she's shaking a present, trying to figure out what's inside now instead of waiting two minutes (actually, he's pretty sure that's his name on there…). "Like Thomas?"
Dean grimaces, but nods. "Uh, yeah. Like Thomas."
"Dean, we were just here all night," Sam says, face genuinely confused. "Sounds like you had a really weird dream, though."
"Yeah…a dream." Was that really all it was?
Before he can figure that out, Ellen and Bobby finally come downstairs, looking like they just rose from the dead, though Ellen didn't forget to bring a camera with her into the afterlife. "All right, kiddos, who's ready for presents?"
Sam and Jo's hands immediately shoot up, and Dean does his best to forget about The Polar Express and everything that had happened on it for now. Right now, he has Christmas to focus on, so he raises his hand with the rest of them and gets ready to experience the day like it should be experienced—together with family, ready to have a good time.
Later, though, when all the presents are gone and the dreaded Christmas ham is in the oven for dinner that evening, he starts thinking about it again as he stares down at the cowboy hat in his hand, a complement to the one on his head. He could probably get Sammy to wear it, but his thoughts are on…someone else.
He wants to talk to Castiel again, to be able to see him and hug him and maybe even kiss him. He'd left Charlie a few messages using the contact information she'd given him, but she hasn't responded yet, and Dean wants someone to talk to about all this, someone to talk to about Castiel and why Dean misses him so much.
He sighs and sets the hat down to look for the toy gun that'd come with it when there's a quiet knock at the door. Dean frowns and wonders who else is even around to be up this early, but walks over on slightly oversized cowboy boots to answer it since Ellen is in the kitchen and Bobby's dozing off in the armchair.
When he opens the door, his eyes go wide and for a solid minute, he's pretty sure he doesn't even breathe, breath caught in his throat from the gasp he'd let out. But he thinks he's allowed to look so dumb when there, standing on his doorstep in all his trench coated glory, is a very familiar winter spirit, who looks a little nervous.
"Hello, Dean…"
"Cas…" Dean pulls him into a hug that Castiel returns with a small, content sigh. Eventually, Dean pulls away enough to look at him, keeping his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders. "Cas, what are you doing here?"
"Oh. Um." He looks embarrassed, and Dean tries not to let the sight distract him, no matter how cute he looks. "My…my gift from…Chuck was to stay here, with you…"
"Wait, seriously?" Castiel nods a little, and Dean grins, wide and excited. "Dude, awesome."
"I should've asked first."
"Hey, I'm glad you didn't. More of a surprise for me."
They keep standing and staring until Bobby clears his throat obnoxiously. "So, Dean, you gonna introduce your friend?"
"I'm Castiel."
Ellen's mom senses clearly tinkle at the promise of a new victim to smother in motherly affection as she peeks in and immediately looks at Castiel. "Well, now, who's this?" She approaches and assesses him in the form of poking and prodding at the smaller boy, who endures it wordlessly with a tilted head. "Aw, you're freezing cold, hon. Just how long were you out there?"
"No, I'm just always cold," Castiel assures, continuing before Dean can stop him, "I'm a winter spirit."
"A what now?"
"Winter spirit. I was supposed to either live a nomadic lifestyle spreading winter or become a guard, but then, I…I met Dean…" If he's endearingly flushed to Dean, Ellen looks like she might fall over at the sight. "I-I was hoping to stay here, with Dean. I didn't even think that he might live with others…"
"I don't know about all that other stuff, but if you're Dean's friend, then of course you can stay," Ellen says, fussing over his messy hair that cannot be tamed even by a mother's finger comb. "Have you already talked to your parents about this?"
"I don't have any."
Ellen's face softens further, and just like that, they have another mouth to feed. Bobby, as if realizing this, groans, "We only got the one guest room, and that's got a bunk bed in it now. Where's he gonna sleep?"
"Well, it's not like you even use your study for anything but drinking," Dean mumbles, and Bobby shoots him a look, but doesn't reply.
"If you're clearing it out, I call the new room," Sam rushes to say in a true sneaky little brother fashion, probably sensing something between Dean and Castiel that Dean's still not quite acknowledging. "Those two can share. They won't mind."
Ellen's eyes sharpen as they look onto Dean. "Dean? Is this true?"
Dean's still coming to terms with the whole thing himself, so he just shrugs and takes Castiel's cold hand into his own. "I think I'm starting to get what you meant when you said not all kisses are gross…"
"Are you gonna kiss him, Dean?" Jo asks. "Is it 'cause he's pretty? He's really pretty."
"Something like that," Dean mutters, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand, dislodging his cowboy hat a little. He looks up at Ellen with his best puppy-dog eyes, having no idea if his rendition is any good or not. "So can he stay?"
Ellen sighs, but nods. "Of course." Her face morphs into a frown in a juxtaposition of Dean and Castiel's stupid smiles. "Oh, aren't your feet cold? You're not even wearing any shoes. Here, let me go find you some socks."
"Don't think this means you're getting anything for Christmas, boy," Bobby bitches in his own unique flavor of acceptance, though they all know whatever Ellen says goes. "I'm done shoppin' for the next eleven months."
"I don't need anything," Castiel assures, flashing a small smile just for Dean to look at, making Dean's heart melt. "I have everything I want right here."
"I'm gonna vomit," Sam declares.
"Pretty!" Jo says, touching Castiel's pale face, now decorated with a warm glow of contentment and happiness unlike anything he'd had on the train, and that's before Dean gives him the other cowboy hat or Ellen returns with a warm pair of socks.
A year ago, Dean couldn't have dreamed up a life like this where he has a family and a sister and…and dorky little dude in a trench coat. Before, his life had been a whirlwind of confusion and hardship and taking care of Sammy, even at the cost of his own happiness.
But it's different now. Now, he doesn't have to be the responsible one all the time. He has people he can lean on and trust in and people that trust in him and now, he has hope for an even better future with Castiel in it and a whole lot of time to get to enjoy it without trying to be a big brother, a mother, and a father all in one to Sam.
For the first time, Dean truly has faith not only in himself and Castiel, but in the world and the future he has in store. He knows it won't always be easy, knows there will be hard times ahead, but for now, the only thing he has to worry about is explaining how the floor got covered in a blanket of snow after Castiel sneezed.
He's not sure what the future will be, but he knows there'll never be a dull moment at least and he knows he'll always have a family to come back to and have faith in. As for the rest? They'll just have to make it up as they go, even if the future seems like it'll hold an uncomfortable amount of snow shovels…