Herro! *waves*

Still alive! xD I was just busy with Christmas but honestly. I was just sitting on posting something because of the site's email alert and traffic issues. Traffic issues are still not resolved ugh but at least the other thing is okay now (I think) so I'm posting a smol update! :D

I'll be working on other things eventually! Hopefully updating some pending fics like Proposal. I can't believe it's been so long since I updated it. *slaps self*

Anyway! Here is this thing for now!

Disclaimer: Is drinking eggnog and doesn't care atm. :P

.:.40.:.

Worth It

She could feel her heartbeat running a marathon inside her eardrums as she lay there in the dim candlelit darkness, breathing harder than she ever had before on the king-sized bed within the bridal suite.

A smile of thorough bliss slowly spilled across her now slightly swollen and unglossed lips while her eyes remained closed as she just tried to absorb it all in, to savour it, and lock it into her memory where it would stay forever.

After so many years of waiting, of dreaming, and longing for this night … it had finally come. Her wedding night, and at long last she'd finally had him. She'd finally made love to her darling Tim for the very, first time and could not even begin to describe her emotions. All she knew was that she'd never felt so happy, so satisfied, so alive, and so deeply and completely in love.

The smile she wore perked up into a happy grin of delight when right on cue, she felt the hand of her beloved reach over and caress her face, ever so gently plucking away the sweat dampened strands of red hair that clung to her skin.

His touch felt like pure heaven and in response to it, Sam found herself helplessly mewling out his name.

"Tim …" she murmured lovingly. It was the first thing she'd said, the first word she'd spoken since their sublime lovemaking. "That was …" she trailed off for a second then tried again to say something more. "Tim, that was …"

Where could she even start? How could she even explain how wonderful it had been when she didn't even have the words to do so? When everything she thought of just felt incapable of summing up what she'd experienced?

When he cleared his throat a moment later, she expected him to fill in the gap for her. In fact she could already hear his voice saying the words in her head already.

"Incredible."

"Amazing."

"Better than you'd even expected."

But when he actually spoke, he totally surprised her.

"… Are you okay?"

"…"

Her eyes went wide and all she could do was stare at him as he lay there beside her regarding her with a look of raw concern. His lips were set in a small line, his sea green eyes intensely focused on her while he patiently awaited her answer, using the time that it was taking her to give him one to gently rub her back, run his fingers through her hair, or give her other small, soothing touches.

Tim wasn't being seductive with her right now, she realized easily with how gentle his little pats were. He was actually … he was trying to comfort her before she even said she needed it just in case she did.

Zoning out into her thoughts for a moment, Sam remembered talking to her closest friends in the world about this, about their first times.

Clover's had been with a guy she'd just described as a total stud whose first words to her afterwards had been about how lucky he'd felt to be her first because she was the most popular girl in school.

Alex on the other hand had received a wordless, but enthusiastic high five from her athlete boyfriend.

Clover had said that what her guy had said to her had made her feel like a prize to be desired ands won by guys, while Alex had told her that the reaction she'd gotten from hers, had made her feel like she was good at being intimate.

But what Tim had said to her, didn't truly make her feel either of those things. In fact what it actually made her feel was …

Suddenly her lower lip quivered and she found herself fighting back tears as she sat up and turned in the sheets to look away from her husband. And the second she did, she felt his hands freeze in place, stopping touching her immediately.

"Sam?!" He called out with panic evident in his tone. "…Sammie?!"

When she proceeded to sniffle , he closed his eyes and shook his head in dismay while cursing at himself.

God he'd messed up, hadn't he? He HAD hurt her despite trying his best not to.

He had such burning feelings for her that keeping any control over himself when he was finally able to show her how he felt with more than just words had been the hardest thing in the world for him.

Yet still he'd fought with himself to keep restraint for her sake, endured a next to impossible task throughout the alluring sounds of her sighs and moans and screams, her tightly sealed erotic eyes, the dew of perspiration beading at her furrowed brow, and the maddening image of her beautiful body finally fully disrobed for his eyes to see while she lay spread beneath him.

But despite his efforts, it seemed it hadn't been enough. In the end, he'd failed her.

Scam sighed, feeling ashamed and tried to figure out where he'd gone wrong. Had he focused too much on himself and his own needs instead of her? But he had been paying attention to her and she hadn't sounded like she was in pain or discomfort. No she'd sounded just as enthralled, as consumed, and as into it as he had.

It had been impossible to ignore her fingernails tearing through the skin at his back and front, both of which felt absolutely punished in the aftermath, and her screams of his name had come out in a voice so deep, so infused with pleasure that it still echoed in his ears.

But what if she'd just been putting on an act for him?

That disturbing thought made him feel physically ill but it was possible, wasn't it? They'd just waited so long for this that maybe Sam hadn't wanted to ruin it and so she'd faced an unpleasant experience with bravery because she was his wife now and felt she somehow owed it to him to do so. To convince him that she'd enjoyed being with him even when she hadn't.

His face falling even more, he glanced over to her with sad and sorry eyes. She was still looking away from him still and softly crying to herself.

Feeling like dirt which was the exact opposite of how he wanted to be feeling tonight of all nights, he decided the best he could do for her right now was to give her space to heal. By this point it was clear that she wouldn't be saying it to him, but he knew she couldn't want to be around him right now.

He could sleep on the couch he decided while simultaneously kicking himself mentally for the earlier thought he'd had when he'd first entered this room with his bride.

Why did a bridal suite need a couch anyway? Well he thought bitterly, he guessed he knew now.

"I'm sorry … Samantha," he apologized to her before pushing the covers off himself to get up and leave her alone.

But he never got the chance as her hands reached out, grabbing him and dragging him back to her at once.

"Wha-wait! No, Tim! Don't say sorry! It's not like that!" Sam stammered before pouting back at him in disapproval for trying to put distance between them, something of which even an inch was unbearable for her right now.

Realizing he'd gotten entirely the wrong idea because of how she'd reacted to his query, she did her best to quickly put his worries to rest.

"You didn't hurt me, I promise!" Sam urged. Truthfully going into it, she had expected to feel a least a little pain but she'd barely felt any. How could she? He'd been so loving, so tender, and so impossibly patient with her. Even when she'd been anything but with him.

Her eyes timidly glanced at his body and even in the dull lighting she could easily spot the many red, U-shaped dents at the nape of his neck, the long lines and criss-crosses all across his chest, back, and shoulders, and his chestnut hair being a total mess from her pulling at it so much.

Sam blushed a little shocked with herself and how feral she'd been in contrast to him. But honestly the concept of restraint hadn't even occurred to her when he'd finally been giving her what she'd longed for, for so, so long.

"It was perfect and wonderful and exactly … even MORE, even better than what I'd imagined being with you would be like," she confessed knowing she'd never spoken truer words. Because her dreams and fantasies, regardless of how steamy those had been, didn't hold a candle to the real thing.

She watched him smile in a relieved way as though a mountain of stress and worry had been lifted off his shoulders, prompting her to smile too. And her smile widened when he nodded his head as if to say they were okay and wrapped a muscular arm around her, tugging her into his warm embrace and kissing her forehead while holding her snug to himself.

"Then why were you crying?" He asked, no longer sounding stressed but still curious.

Taking a deep breath, it took her a moment to answer but soon enough she did because she wanted him to know this about her.

"It's just that … I've been teased about it, you know? About being so conservative when it came to sex and wanting to wait for the right guy."

Bowing her head a little she started drawing little doodles of affection on his broad chest as she continued in a shy mumble, still unable to help but feel a little embarrassed about the subject even with her husband.

"At times I have to admit that I did question myself about if waiting was ideal. Sometimes I'd wonder if I should be more with the times and just get it over with."

Her supposedly needing to be more modern had been something which had been used as an actual insult against her, by Mandy no less.

She had laughed at her for it when she'd lost a boyfriend she'd really liked to her for refusing to go anywhere past first base with him. Every time he'd tried, she'd shut him down and after just a few attempts, he'd dumped her and made a beeline for a much more experienced and willing girl.

It had hurt and for a short while she'd even reconsidered her decision only to get over it with relative ease. It hadn't felt right to her to give up something so key, so irreplaceable, and precious to just keep a guy, even if she fancied him.

Just liking someone hadn't been adequate, she'd wanted so much more. As silly as it might seem to many people, sex was an act of true intimacy to her, the greatest intimacy a woman could ever have with a man. It wasn't something she'd been ready to just cross off of a to-do list.

For her to cross that line of no return, she had to be in love with a guy and it had to be real love that she didn't have to question.

And that kind of love took time because destiny was a huge factor.

So of course she'd been frustrated and felt as though she'd been missing out every time her friends gloated about sharing that with guys while she waited and waited endlessly for her time and her guy to come, wondering if it'd happen before she'd go insane.

But being here right now in this time and place, with the man she'd come to love more than life itself, she knew she hadn't missed out on anything. Waiting had actually given her something that neither Clover or Alex or any other girl her age that she'd envied had gotten after their first intimate encounter.

And that was a confirmation of love from the man she'd given herself to. Deep, unwavering, unequivocal love.

That was why she'd teared up; his asking her if she was okay right after had made her feel loved. Made her feel exactly how she'd wanted to feel after her very first time.

Tim hadn't talked about how happy he was that she'd chosen him to be the one, nor evaluated her performance. No, he'd simply put her first and made sure she was alright because unlike the boys her friends had done this with, her man … he loved her. He loved her truly and honestly with the entirety of his soul.

Once again she felt tears brimming in her gaze as she lifted her head from his shoulder and stared at his handsome face with nothing but endless admiration and affection.

Somehow this former foe of hers who had at first sight hated her guts and had with zero hesitation tried to kill her not once, not twice, but several times, had grown to love her so00 much that she mattered to him more than anything and everything else. Even himself.

And as impossible as it should have been for her to become even more in love with him than she already was, somehow he'd just made her fall even deeper. What more could she, could any girl ask for from her husband on her wedding night? Nothing, she knew. Nothing at all.

"But now, I know that I was right to wait for the right guy…" Sam sighed dreamily as she reached down and took his large hand in her smaller one, intertwining their ringed fingers together just in the way that they were intertwined together now in every way.

His last name now being hers, him bearing the title of being her husband, his suit and boxers laying on the carpeted floor intermingled with her wedding dress and bridal lingerie. Her bathed in his sweat, essence, and cologne and him smelling of her perfume, glowing from the shimmer of the bridal glitter she'd used, and wearing the prints of her red lipstick all over his flesh while they sat there together undressed from head to toe with all the barriers gone between them and the blankets rolled down to both their waists.

It was a level of comfort she'd always aspired to have with a guy but never had before. She remembered every time in the past that any other one had tried to get any anywhere near being under her clothes and how wrong it had felt to her.

But this? This just felt … right. It felt natural as though it was always meant to be. And she was reminded once again that he and only he was her soul mate.

Releasing his hand Sam turned towards him with half-lidded and love drunk eyes, reaching up and holding his face as she inched closer and closer to his lips with a hunger that desperately needed to be fed again.

But she paused just for a split second before she bridged the gap and kissed him passionately, to whisper to him with no degree of uncertainly in her words.

"I was right to wait … for you."

Fin.

Just some fluff haha. I hope y'all liked!

Oh before I forget, I started a Christmas fic like last year? It was gonna be a long oneshot but the original idea was shorter than the direction I ended up taking it in so now I was thinking maybe I should just post it in chapters? Idk, if anyone is interested, let me know and I'll post the first bit on Christmas for you! ^0^

Bye for now and Happy Holidays!

Love,

Cres :)