"Oh gosh, I'm gonna be late for work!" Alice Takanashi wails as she sprints through the lobby. The pink-haired office lady is, in fact, a mess. Her skirt's rumpled, her hair's mussed and entirely untidy. One of her stockings has begun to roll down her thick thigh.
"Excuse me, out of my way, oh my gosh-" Alice babbles as she practically bowls over some of her coworkers.
"Hey, what the hell?"
"There goes Alice again. God, that girl's so energetic…"
"Kind of a klutz, isn't she? Dunno why the boss keeps her around…"
"Probably 'cause she's cute."
"Alice!"
Alice lets out a tiny eep as she stares up at the imposing figure of her boss.
Maxine Steele reaches up and slowly slides her aviators down her nose so she can stare directly into Alice's eyes. Alice finds herself staring back despite herself. Gosh, Maxine has gorgeous eyes, such a commanding stare-
"Did you sleep in again?" Max asks playfully, her tone light and teasing.
"… Yes…" Alice replies, shrinking in on herself out of sheer embarrassment. "… B – But it's because my alarm clock broke! It wasn't anything I did this time! Oh no, please don't be mad…"
"Meh, it's fine, don't worry so much," Max reaches up now to pat Alice's head, and Alice finds herself going crimson. "You're still the best secretary I've got, yeah?"
"Y – Yeah," Alice stammers, then winces as her tummy rumbles. Oh no, Alice forgot to eat she was so concerned about getting to work, she didn't want to disappoint her gorgeous, sexy, super kind boss…
"And you forgot to get breakfast again, didn't you?" Max asks drolly.
"…" Alice cringes, wilting in on herself. Uwah, she doesn't deserve to have a girl as kind and cool as Max hovering over her like this! This is too much for Alice's heart! "… I have nutrient paste at my desk? You don't have to-"
"Nah, I'm insisting like I always do. C'mon, let's go get some breakfast tacos," Max reaches out now, to take Alice's hand. "And maybe get you cleaned up a bit. I don't really mind the whole disheveled, barely out of bed look you've got going on right now, it's pretty cute on you, but it's hard to believe you're older than me when y-"
"Max~!" Alice whines. Gah! The embarrassment is too much! Alice squeals, sounding very much like a teakettle set to boil. "Max, don't!"
"Alright, alright. I'll stop bullying you," Max raises her hands, takes a step back from Alice. "… For now."
--
There are days when Alice can't believe her luck, being able to work for a company as prestigious and famous as Steele Arcanotech. Days when Alice has to pinch herself because she's really not sure how she ended up as Maxine Steele's personal secretary, of all the things. Alice started off as a total nobody! When she submitted her resume and references to apply for this job, she was figuring she'd be rejected.
And now here she is, happily snacking on some delicious breakfast tacos with her boss! Her kind, wonderful, cute-
"Alice, are you drooling over me or the taco?" Max asks now, gently poking Alice in the side.
"The taco! Definitely the taco!" Alice quickly takes a bite out of her taco, relishing in the taste of syn-bacon, egg-substitute and cheese. Greasy, salty, and oh-so fulfilling…
"So does that mean you don't like me?" Max jokes, taking a bite out of her own taco.
"I – I like you, though!" Alice replies quickly, because the thought of not liking her wonderful boss is anathema to Alice's mind. "I like you a lot!"
"And yet you refuse to go out with me," Max lets out an exaggerated forlorn sigh.
"That… That's because it wouldn't…" Alice feels herself blush yet again. "I mean, I couldn't… I would never… It'd be entirely inappropriate-"
"You know I can see your search history, right?" Max mentions now, her cybernetic eyes briefly flashing blue. "I'm wired into the tower's computers. Including your computer. Which means I know you've been looking up stories about girls who've slept with their b-"
"Max!" Alice buries her face between her hands, completely unwilling to even look in Max's general direction. "You didn't – You – That's an invasion of my privacy, how did yo-"
"I didn't, I can't actually see your search history," Max's grin is a conniving, evil thing. "Your reaction told me all I needed to know."
Oh. Oh no. Alice groans, thunking her head against the table she's sitting at. "… You're so mean…" Alice whimpers.
Soft fingers touch her hair. A comforting hand grazes against Alice's back, rubbing in between her shoulderblades in a soothing motion, and Alice begins to relax. "Yeah, I guess I am. But only because you're seriously too cute when I bully you like this. Do you want me to be less mean, Alice?"
"…" Alice turns over, eyeing her boss speculatively. "No, not really. I think you're actually just the right amount of mean…"
"Well, alright then…" Max sighs as her phone starts beeping. She takes it out, scrolls through her texts. "Ugh, Magical Girl stuff. Emergency MGA meeting. I've gotta jet. You got the rest of my schedule lined up?"
"I took care of that yesterday," Alice straightens, taking on a more professional demeanor. She is, after all, Maxine Steele's personal secretary. A position she's held for quite a while at this point. She knows how things go. "You've got a meeting with the Corporate Council today. Should I-"
"No, don't reschedule that. Yumeko'll throw a bitchfit if she talks to you again, and I'll have to force you to sleep over at my place like the last time she sent assassins to off you," Max rakes a hand through her hair. "… Goddamn, this meeting's going to be a long one though, I can already tell…"
"Do I need to have the tower evacuated, ma'am?" Alice asks.
"… Maybe, actually," Max glances back down at her phone. "Apparently some crazy-strong evil Magical Girl's been spotted near Terminus City. One of the Calamities. I'm figuring all the Magical Girls in this city just got that flash-warning…"
"One of the Calamities?!" Alice says, feeling a bit faint. "Those are – you mentioned them before, they're the city-killing Magical Girls, aren't they?"
"… Yep. Total psychopath murderhobos," Max sighs. "… If it's who I think it is, this is probably going to take the rest of the week, actually. Fuck me… Run some emergency drills today. Disaster preparation, whatever excuse you have to bullshit. I'm hoping we can run this psycho down before she causes any serious damage, but we might as well start preparing for the worst."
"… Do you have to go?" Alice asks, a tinge of hysterical fear entering her voice.
"Yeah, because PH insists on having all of these meetings in person. Cats be paranoid, and all that," Max rolls her eyes. "I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? Just… Treat this like a normal day outside of the whole emergency thing because there's maybe a psychopath murderhobo roaming around the city with crazy magical powers."
"Got it," Alice says, doing her best to keep the quaver out of her voice.
"Good girl," Max says, then snaps her fingers. In a flash of light, her Raiment manifests around her. Gleaming armored plates snap together around her legs, her arms. A visor winks into existence around her eyes. One moment Maxine Steele, CEO of Steele Arcanotech is standing in front of Alice and the next, Steele Maxima, preeminent Magical Girl in Terminus City's taken her place.
Steele Maxima jets off in a gust of air. Alice watches her go, shading her eyes against the sun as she tracks Max's movement across the sky. There's a sharp thunderous crack, and in a red-chrome blur, Max vanishes across Terminus City's skyline.
"So cool," Alice finds herself sighing despite the nervous quakes roiling within her tummy. Right. There really is nothing to worry about. Max's got this, like she always does. Alice doesn't have to worry about a thing.
Right, she should probably get back to work now. Those drills aren't going to run themselves. Max's paperwork isn't going to fill itself out. Alice brushes a few residual crumbs off of her pleated skirt and stands up-
And she finds herself stumbling against somebody else as she tries to walk off.
"Kyah~!" Alice squeals as her shoulder collides roughly against someone else's shoulder, with enough force that it sends her sprawling to the ground. Gosh, it was like ramming against a solid brick wall, who was that-
"Hey, you just knocked me down you jerk, who the heck…" Alice trails off as she stares into green, green eyes. Eyes so perfectly green they're like emeralds, set in a face that's so flawless it makes Alice a bit jealous, framed by hair that's so blonde and lustrous that -
That -
"Oh no, did I bump into a supermodel or something?!" Alice babbles, more of a defense mechanism than anything in this particular instance. Rambling's something Alice just… Does when she gets nervous. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I just didn't see you standing there and- Did I hurt you? I mean, I didn't think I did, holy whoa did you feel solid when I shoulder-checked you, not that I really meant to do that on purpose-"
The blonde girl holds a hand up, and Alice hastily clamps her jaw shut.
"… I…" The gorgeous, ridiculously hot blonde says, enunciating each word carefully. Weird, it's like she doesn't really have experience talking to people. Or at all. "I believe I am the one who should apologize. I did not mean to inconvenience you."
Oh. Oh! Well, at least she's being polite!
"Nah, it's fine, don't worry about it!" Alice cheers, trying to do her best to ignore the way her shoulder throbs. "I'll let you get back to it then. Enjoy your taco~!"
"Wait. I… I have a question," the blonde girl says, tilting her head quizzically. Something that causes Alice to tilt her head herself!
"… Yeah?"
"How did you acquire one of these… Meat, egg and cheese parcels?" The girl asks.
"… You're talking about my taco," Alice blinks.
"Yes," The strange, blonde girl nods emphatically. "I do not require sustenance and I never will, but I found the smell of this… Taco… Appealing."
"You just… Go to the kiosk and ask the nice man there for a breakfast taco," Alice replies, bemused by… Well, by everything about this conversation! So weird. Not that weird's a bad thing, Terminus City's full of all sorts of weird, wonderful people~! "I went for bacon, egg and cheese myself but they have nu-beef if you want steak, and they do sausage, they have a vegetarian option. It's a food truck. You haven't… Have you not visited a food truck before?"
"…" The blonde girl shifts awkwardly. "… I have not visited any major population centers since… I…"
"… Wait, you… You don't know how to order food?" Alice asks.
"… This is correct," the blonde nods again.
For a moment, Alice's tempted to leave her to her own devices. Alice's pretty busy these days, after all. Especially now that her boss had to jet off, leaving Alice with even more work she's going to have to do! Alice really should be going back to Steele Tower! But…
… When Alice was at her absolute lowest point, it was Maxine Steele who took a chance on some poor, starving nobody who was slaving away for one of the absolute worst corporations to work for. Max has been so unbearably kind to Alice, even as she's bullied Alice.
And Alice's done her best to pay that kindness forward ever since. What's a few minutes really going to cost her, in all honesty? Besides, look at this girl. As hot and ridiculously pretty as she is, Alice can tell that she's not doing all that well. Her clothes are pretty shabby and threadbare. Her shoes are fraying at the seams. It's subtle, but the effect's like… It's like someone dressed a perfect, porcelain doll up in rags.
Ooh, all of Alice's sensibilities are crying out at the injustice of seeing such a cute girl in such a dilapidated state…
"Well, I can order one for you. And, uh, do you need a shower? Or clothes? I work at Steele Tower, and I keep a set of clothes there, and the tower's got showers I can sneak you into and no offense but you…" Alice reaches out impulsively now, and grasps this strange girl's hands. For a moment she tenses, a flash of something flitting through her eyes, but the moment passes.
"You kind of look like you need some tending to?" Alice attempts to smile disarmingly. She's really not sure how great her smile is, but at least she's trying! Besides, Max always said Alice had a cute smile, so…
"… This proposition is acceptable."
"Neat!" Alice cheers. "Come on then, let's go get you some food. And, uh, hey, what's your name?"
"My… Name?"
"Yeah, your name. So I can tell the taco guy who I'm ordering for!"
"… Ah," The blonde's eyes flicker. "I apologize. It's… Just been a while since anyone asked… Kaina. Kaina Shikinami. That's what my name is."
"Ooh, that's a pretty name~!" Alice claps her hands together gaily. "I'm Alice Takanashi! Nice to meet you, Kaina!"
Kaina's lips twitch up into… Hey, is that smile?! It is! Gosh, that's such a nice smile too! It's small, but that just means it stands out even more on Kaina's face…
"… Yes. It's nice to meet you too."
Alice lets out a happy giggle at those words, and turns to go order Kaina's taco from the taco truck.
It's too bad she's got her back turned. It means she can't see how Kaina's eyes rove across her form appraisingly, possessively. Or how Kaina's smile begins to turn predatory.
"... Mine," Kaina Shikinami, the Calamity of the Void known to the public as Ephemeral Dusk whispers underneath her breath. There's a void in Kaina's heart, an emptiness that aches and burns. An emptiness that can't be quenched, not even with as much blood as Kaina's shed, rampaging all across the world the way she's been.
But this girl, this... This Alice... She's managed to do what even Mitsuko couldn't-
"What was that?"
"Nothing," Kaina lies as easily as she breathes. There's no reason for her to say what's really on her mind, after all. What's one lie in a world full of wicked, awful lies?
Terminus City's prodigal daughter, the most powerful Magical Girl on the planet since she Fell, slaughteress of entire nations, smiles again. A more beatific thing, but just as horrifying to anyone who actually knows her.
Finally, Kaina's found something that genuinely interests her.
And isn't that exciting?
--
Snip that percolated through my brainmeats, posting because it's April Fools.
And we're coming up on the one-year anniversary of Kiss.
"What if Kaina was a Dark Magical Girl and Alice wasn't" basically.
Working on an actual mainline quest update now, I just
had to get this out of my brainmeats first.