"No, no, no, no!"

Tonks woke up in a cold sweat, eyes darting around everywhere. It took her far too long to realise that she was safe, in her dark apartment in the middle of the night and not in the middle of a well-lit exam hall.

Breathing heavily, she let everything slowly come back into focus. Her bedside table was to her left, her clothes were on a pile at the end of her bed, her wand was on her night stand- no, wait, she had knocked that of. She scrambled around and pulled it up from the floor. How did it end up down there? Whoops, better not tell Moody about that, she'd never hear the end of it. She had already got more than enough lecture on wand safety when she hadn't even been doing anything wrong! He really liked pointing out what other people were doing wrong. Loudly. While they were still in earshot. It is given her plenty of opportunities to practice her control over her abilities when she got embarrassed. He hair didn't react to embarrassment nearly as quickly any more. It was like a slow fade into the colour which she took as a win. It was enough that it didn't attract attention from anyone though Moody still didn't like that it changed at all. Said that if people figured out what it meant that it would put her at a disadvantage.

But wand safety wasn't the point right now. Neither was her morphing abilities. Right now, she should be trying to call herself down and not think about the fact that she'd had a nightmare over exams of all things. Exams she hadn't even sat yet. Exams she was going to sit very soon though and was all she currently ever thought about because they literally were the key to what she wanted in life. Was she being dramatic? Absolutely but she had just woken up in the middle of the night from a nightmare so it was a miracle that she was even thinking coherently.

With a groan, she let her head fall back on her pillow but she didn't close her eyes. She couldn't even if she wanted to, she was too worked up. Her heart was still pounding and her thoughts were swirling. Sometimes she wished she could see her thoughts just so she could see how they acted. Was that weird? She really was getting delirious from lack of sleep and studying. That was a thing, wasn't it? She was pretty sure that was a thing.

This whole thing was stupid. That wasn't how her exams were going to go, it just wasn't. There was no way. She knew some things so she wasn't going to fail like that. She couldn't fail like that. She had to have some faith in her abilities, right? She did. She really did.

Tossing and turning, Tonks tried to find a comfortable spot. If she could just get comfortable, she would fall asleep again, she just knew it because she wasn't going to think about exams. She wasn't. Enough of her days were spent doing that she refused to let them interrupt her sleep too.

Except, it didn't really work like that, did it? Nope, it didn't because she sat back up again and frowned at the opposite wall. Why couldn't she just go back to sleep and worry about all this in the morning? That would make the most sense. Did you hear that brain? It could think of exams all it wanted. In the morning. The actual morning, not the middle of the night.

She felt really tempted to throw her lamp across the room and see it smash into a bunch of pieces, she bet that it would be really satisfying, but she didn't. Knowing her luck, she'd end up injured and it was the middle of the night, who knew what her neighbours would think? Probably that she was going crazy or something. They already didn't have the best opinion of her because of her hair and the way she dressed and her music that several of them had complained about even when it was turned down really low. What did they have, satellites for ears or something?

She lay back in bed yet again and waited for sleep to come. She was tired, exhausted even. The precious day had been a long day so surely, she should just the able to go back to sleep just like that. Except she wasn't because she was still staring at the damn ceiling. The ceiling that had that crack just over there and those two weird blobs of paint in the corner. Oh, there was a damp spot over there, she would have to contact her landlord about that. He probably wouldn't do anything but it would be worth a shot. She was probably moving when this lease was up in six weeks, he'd been threatening to increase the rent. Which sucked but that was a problem for another day.

She had other problems like what if she didn't pass her exams? What if she... what if she failed? What was she supposed to do then? All she had wanted was to be an Auror, she hadn't even thought of another career path. It just hadn't been a thing she'd ever thought about. Which was pretty stupid in hindsight. Who just had one idea for what they wanted to do? Except Charlie, of course, because, let's be honest, what else would that man do with his life if it wasn't working with dragons? Her though? She should have had a backup. Yeah, she definitely should have thought of a backup.

These thoughts really weren't helping. She should at least be trying to go back to sleep, right? Yeah, that would be the best course of action, obviously. Look, it was the wee hours of the morning, she wasn't exactly thinking straight.

Right. She sat back up again and rubbed her hand over her face. How many times was she going to get up and down like this? It was getting ridiculous. There was no way that she was going to go back to sleep even if it was only - she cast a Tempus - three fifteen in the morning. Great. Just great. Four hours before she had to get up. What was she supposed to do for four hours in the middle of the night? The sun wasn't even trying to get up yet.

Swinging her legs off the bed, she tried to think what she should do. Should she just get ready for the day and just revise until she had to actually go in? Or did she go to the loo (why was it when you woke up you always needed to go even if that wasn't the reason why you woke up?) and make herself a cup of tea or something in the hope that that would sooth her back to sleep? Her bed was nice and warm and cosy but her thoughts were all over the place and Tonks knew if she tried to go back to sleep right now it wasn't going to happen. All it was going to do was make her feel worse and even more stressed which would make falling asleep even more difficult. She didn't need that.

What she also didn't need was to feel exhausted all day and that was what was going to happen if she didn't find a way to go to sleep.