CHAPTER 8: FAMILY AFFAIR.

A week has passed since their Kleinfeld's shopping expedition, the day which seems to have changed Finn's life forever. His realization that he can no longer deny the way he feels about Rachel has been weighing heavily on him, and he still hasn't decided the right way to go about unfucking everything he's cocked up so badly yet.

Santana has been anything but accessible for the past few weeks and that trend seems to be forecasted for the foreseeable future. There simply hasn't been a right time or really, any available free time to sit and have this sort of conversation with her about where they stand – and honestly, Finn is NOT looking forward to this discussion in the least. She's a hot tempered Latina and he's gotten used to her more prickly side over the years, but that doesn't mean he wants to encourage it or stand in its direct line of fire; in fact he usually does his damnedest to avoid it altogether whenever possible.

He knows he can't delay the inevitable forever, and he really does need to have this talk with her soon, but preparations for opening the bar are taking precedence over his time right now, and she's not around enough to even try to force a moment of parley.

Even if she were, he still has no clue how to approach this conversation. How do you tell someone you don't want to marry them? It was hard enough to find the words (and the balls) to do the asking in the first place; finding the right words to do the un-asking is proving more complicated than high school SATs.

Should he ease into it or just blurt it out? He's been kicking around possible openings but none of them feel... safe enough to deliver the message (without bodily harm to the messenger). "I love Rachel and I can't marry you." Well, probably not if he ever really wants to have kids someday, no. "We don't really love each other, getting engaged was a mistake." Nope. He can't tell her how SHE feels, right? "Sorry, I changed my mind, I rushed into this." After this many years? She'd pick him off faster than a cheetah mowing down a sloth (y'know, if there was a disaster at the zoo or something, since he's pretty sure those two animals don't live on the same continent).

He finally resigns to the fact that this conversation will have to happen organically when they are ever in the same space together for longer than twenty minutes and when he finally summons enough courage to broach the subject. He knows it can't linger forever, but he also knows he's been hiding his real feelings for Rachel forever; he's become a master at pushing his feelings aside. Rachel called him the king of procrastination once and he earned that title with a practiced hand. For now, he'll simply just carry on, business as usual – wedding planning and all, until such time that he and Tana can.. end things? Is that the right way to refer to this? He doesn't want their friendship to end and really, he does care about this girl and doesn't want to hurt her.

Whatever the label, he just knows there will be a conclusion reached after a lot of yelling, most of which will likely be in Spanish (and he never was a very good student in that class, never did become fluent or anything; he mostly only picked up the curse words from Tana over the years – so he figures at least he'll know what exactly she's saying while she's castrating him.)

...FRFRF...

They meet for a friends only brunch the day after her commencement ceremony. The night of had been spent at a fancy restaurant celebrating together with her dads. Kurt and Blaine had even joined the evening of regalement. Finn's parents would've joined them but Burt was called out last minute to DC for some important government thing – the life of a congressman is never easy and his time isn't always his own.

"I'm so proud of you half-pint. You worked so hard for this and you deserve all the success that's coming your way... I can't wait to see what you do with your future."

She squeezes his hand and leans toward him. "Aw thanks Finny, that means so much to me."

"So, Madame Berry, how does it feel to be an official graduate – in the top one percent of her class, no less – from the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts?"

She throws her arms in the air with zeal and squeaks out "It feels EXHILARATING! Like, like freedom renewed! ...And honestly, a little bit terrifying."

Finn chuckles at her, a single brow spiking up along with his curiosity. "Uhh.. terrifying?"

"Well, yes, Finn.. at least a little. I mean, there's no going back now, it's actually here – adulthood and the future are occurring with every single ticking second. It's a lot of pressure."

"Uhh... wasn't that already true? Diploma or not?"

"It... okay yes, but... it's just, now there's new meaning and responsibility in each of those ticking seconds that wasn't there before."

He sniggers and rolls his eyes a little as he teases. "Oooo-kay Strawberry Shortcake. You have sort of a warped way of looking at things sometimes... but I still dig ya anyway."

She giggles and slaps his bicep, then beams her trademark pearly smile at him. "Listen, I know you don't think it's much of a transition, but you already received your diploma a whole two weeks ago – and I'm still so proud of you for that by the way. And I know preparations for the bar have been keeping you busier than anything – which, need I remind you IS your adult future happening every ticking second already. You know what your future holds, indefinitely... So you don't have the same uncertainty that I do about what comes next."

"Rach, c'mon. Firstly, yeah I have the bar and stuff – for now. But I can't predict how the future will play out; I don't know if it'll be a success or not. I could be a complete failure and fall flat on my ass. And you, you have the play coming up, and the wedding and..."

"NO. You WILL be a great success Finn, I know you will. You're too strong of a leader and too good with people for this to fail. And me? When the play opens I'll be subject to the vultures and carnivores and cannibals known as CRITICS . If I don't deliver enough to please them, then the play doesn't do so well; then there's no play. Then I don't know what happens after that."

"Are you trying to tell me you're nervous? YOU? Rachel Barbra Berry, DIVA SUPREME, vocal genius and future Tony award winning Broadway superstar?"

"Nooo... n-not nervous per se.. Just. A tad bit apprehensive, perhaps."

"There's a difference? The hell, Rach. You know you've got MAD skills for this. It's in your DNA, you were BORN for this. Do I need to do the thing again? It's been a while, but I think I still got it... and I know you do..."

She ducks her head trying to subvert the potential for any embarrassment he's about to cause and hisses at him. "No! Please don't, we're not kids anymore Finn! It was cute while we were in high school, at the mall or in line at the movies or wherever, but it's wholly unnecessary now."

He doubles down. He doesn't see that unwavering confidence radiating off her like he knows it should be and he just can't stand that. Whatever the hell St Jackass has been pumping into her head for what he deems the greater good of her career seems to be having the opposite impact on her, and he's just noticing it now clear as day. And he's NOT having it.

"Uh-huh. You're not convincing me yet, Bite-Size. I'm looking, but I still don't see it yet... You still look skeptical and I just can't have that ugly cloud of doubt and uncertainty hazing over your otherwise beautiful confident eyes. I'll do it. I think I should totally do it. I'm gonna do it."

"Don't, Finn.. I'm serious..."

His eyes examine her with scrutiny, looking for any signs of weakness in her delicate expressive features which he's read like a book for years. He's not sure her confidence is fully in tact at the moment and decides, yeah fuck it; he likes to put on a show, if even just to see the smile he knows it's gonna produce. Plus, he'll get to hear her sing again and that's ALWAYS a bonus.

Before the single syllable of his name falls from her pink pouty lips in further protest, he pushes himself up from his seat at their outdoor cafe table, stands up on his chair and looks toward the crowded sidewalk, then begins speaking LOUDLY like a carnival barker into the masses of diners and passers-by.

"STEP RIGHT UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! MAY I HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION PLEASE! DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A BROADWAY STAR IN OUR VERY MIDST? THAT'S RIGHT, A REAL DEAL LEGEND IN THE MAKING FOLKS! YESSIR, YES MA'AM, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' RIGHT NOW AND LISTEN CLOSE! SHE LOVES AN AUDIENCE AND WILL SING FOR YOU IF YOU CHOOSE THE TUNE! NAME A TUNE, ANY TUNE, SHE CAN CARRY IT TO THE MOON! SHE'LL EVEN SIGN AUTOGRAPHS WHEN SHE'S DONE – THEY'LL BE WORTH A LOT ONE DAY SON, AND YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU CAN SAY 'I REMEMBER WHEN' TO YOUR FRIENDS SOMEDAY!"

Rachel's eyes couldn't shine any brighter and her heart couldn't be any more full of joy at the sheer insanity and total devotion oozing from her crazy best friend. As she turns completely crimson from cheeks to toes, the adrenaline rush slams into her bloodstream with force. She knows he's only doing this from a place of love to boost her confidence, and she loves him for it.

Watching him making a complete fool of himself perched high upon his chair, she can't help but think about how many times he's done things like this over the years just to make her smile and make her feel good about herself – particularly that recent day at Kleinfeld's. His words to her that day and the feelings they evoked in her still echo in her mind and sometimes (like right now) she can't still those damn butterflies. Since that day, every look, every touch, every conversation they've shared she feels the need to analyze, looking for the subtext that she wonders if she's been missing all along. And when he does things like he's doing today, she can't prevent the 'what if's' from invading her thoughts. What if she wasn't marrying Jesse? What if he wasn't marrying Santana? What if she ever let herself give in to the butterflies and told him how much he really means to her? Would there ever be a chance for them to be something more? But she quickly eschews her flight of fancy to focus on the present, since right now she's got to prepare herself to handle an impromptu sidewalk performance. But that's what professional stars do after all, isn't it? This is like the best practice for her ego and her artistry.

And Finn knows it too; that was sorta the whole point and why he started pulling this routine years ago in the first place. When they were still teenagers, she would have occasional low days, feeling her abilities inadequate and that maybe she'd never truly reach her dreams. He became determined to prove to her that she would always have a willing audience, because her star shined too bright for anyone to ignore, and one day his 'step right up' act was born on a busy subway platform. Of course he was proven right; she'd drawn a large crowd that day (in fact people were throwing money at her feet – nearly $80 collected from one song).

He does this for her because he knows she LOVES what she does, and she LIVES for the applause. It's like a drug to her, and he'd happily be her dealer any day just to get to see that look on her face. The look when someone calls out a song title for her and she just knows she's gonna slay it before she even clears her throat. He knows when the tell-tale sign of 'PSHHH I've got this' crosses her face – and she always does, because she's just that good.

"Defying Gravity" a thick Bronx-accent laden voice calls over the crowd, and yeah, there's that look on her face. Fuck yeah, she's got this – damn straight. He never had a doubt, and if the crowd gathered around had any, it was quickly vanquished as soon as she got to 'I'm through with playing by the rules'.

If performing is her drug, watching her do it is his . Every time he hears her sing he feels the same as he did the first time. He figures he's gotta hold his breath just to be sure his racing heart doesn't fly right out of his chest. He used to think maybe he'd been bitten by a radioactive spider too, since her voice activates his own spidey senses making all the little hairs on his body stand on end. He can't ever get enough of witnessing her do what she does. He'd never tell anyone, but there's been times he's silently thanked his dad for sending her to him like the tiny lifeline he knew his son would need. She's a magical musical miracle to him, and after all these years he still doesn't know how all of her 'gigantic-sized ball of awesomeness' fits into that tiny little bite-sized package.

Her Elphaba WILL BE legendary on the big stage one day, he's sure of that. He just beams at her with pride and awe as she gobbles up the roaring applause like a cyclone pulling a water funnel up from the ocean and sends up another silent thanks to his dad.

...FRFRF...

"Okay Bite-Size. What's on the agenda today."

"Well, we still need to look into entertainment... A friend from NYADA recommended we check out William Schuester Productions. He apparently has a number of live acts that would be suitable for our needs. Did you want to have live music, or just a DJ, or both?"

"I mean, sure having both seems like a good idea, but I guess it depends on cost. And also how good the live act is... sometimes live wedding bands can sorta suck y'know."

She giggles with a knowing nod. "Oh yes, I agree; if the live act is subpar, that would certainly dampen the mood considerably... I guess we can decide when we get there. OH! Before I forget, I wanted to remind you of my daddies 25th anniversary party next weekend. You know you and Tana are invited... you are able to make it?"

"Yeah I got the invite the other day. And you know I'll be there for sure... but uh, I'll have to see if Tana is coming or not. She and Britt have been doing these weekend yoga retreats and I think they may already have plans."

"Her and Britt, huh? They've been spending an awful lot of time together lately, haven't they?"

"Yeah well, they're best friends, why shouldn't they? Besides you know Tana doesn't have very many girl friends, so I think it's cool they've stayed this close for so many years past childhood and high school."

"Oh yes, I agree, it's lovely to see a high school friendship last the test of time... for example, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't in my life. I don't ever even want to consider it!"

"Me too Rach," He winks at her and nudges her shoulder with his. "Good thing is, you'll never have to worry about it, shortcake. You couldn't chase me off with a stick."

She grabs his hand and squeezes it tight, her sparkling brown eyes meeting his shining amber ones. "I'm relieved to hear that Finn – even if I would NEVER chase anyone off with a stick, least of all you."

"Hey and since you brought up your dads party... Remember that mom's birthday is that weekend too. I know her and Burt will be at your dad's thing on Saturday, but Kurt and I wanted to have a nice brunch with her the next day, nothing fancy just us at their house... Are you gonna join us? Just say yes."

"Well of course, I'd be delighted! I adore Carole, I wouldn't miss celebrating her day for the world... she's basically the only mother figure I've ever known."

"I know babe.. And she loves the hell outta you too... She asks about you all the time. It'll make her so happy to see you, so you HAVE to be there. And uh, I guess you could bring Jesse, y'know, if he's gonna be around."

She scoffs, quietly clearing her throat and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't be ridiculous, Finn. Jesse is just so busy lately, I've barely seen him at all or had really any time to speak with him since you two went tux shopping – speaking of which, I've meant to ask you how things went that day?"

Finn swallows hard and doesn't respond at first. He considers it, but decides he doesn't want to spoil their day together by digging into all the reasons why Jesse St Suckass is a giant ball sack who is all wrong for her (he's been compiling a list since sophomore year that's up to 106 reasons so far). He also figures somehow that conversation is going to lead him directly into the OTHER conversation he also needs to have with her, except he still hasn't had the requisite conversation with Tana that leads himself to being unengaged first (or possibly bleeding out in need of emergency medical care, but he's hoping for the former).

He finally conjures the most neutral answer he can think of on the fly (most of which is true). "Oh y'know, pretty uneventful. Just two dudes in a tux shop... We uh, didn't really get a lot of bonding done though, since he got called out the theater and had to leave early," luckily for him and the nose he was about to have broken, Finn thinks to himself.

"Oh, well... that's unfortunate, though not surprising. Maybe you can reschedule... although, I was a little surprised he found time to go with you at all. I've talked to Janelle more than him for some time now. I'm not even sure he will be attending my dad's party at this moment... he said the investors want to fly him out to London for something, some big meeting... he's been very hush hush so far, but it feels like there's another project he might be working on."

OH, right. London. Is this why Jesse brought up West End at the tux shop? Shit. Something is brewing. He mentioned Rachel being in the West End – 'it may even be sooner than everyone thinks' ... Is he working on getting her a shot at a lead role over there? And if so, why doesn't Rachel know about these plans? It's her life after all, and she is the performer, she should have a say. "Oh yeah? London... wow. That's pretty big-time. But, so... you're not gonna travel with him?"

"Oh heavens no! Between wedding planning and my parents party I'm already fully committed and have a lot going on, plus I'm still working on my script. And as I've said, it's just a quick business meeting with the investors, so I wouldn't be involved in anything anyway. They are paying to fly him out and as far as I know he'll only be gone a few days, so it's not like I'd be missing anything anyway."

"Except him, maybe...? And a chance to see London, even if only for a day or two?"

"Don't be silly. I can see London any time; it's not going anywhere. I've already been there once, so it's not the end of the world."

"Well it's the other side of it anyway... hey don't get me wrong – I'm glad you're staying put. Just making sure you're okay about it."

"Certainly. I'm a grown, independent woman. I don't feel the need to cling to my fiancé's side at all times. I respect the fact that Jesse has a demanding job that sometimes requires travel... I just wish he could tell me more about the purpose of the meeting, and why it's in London. In my mind, it can only mean a project for the West End – which would be an incredible opportunity, if that's what it is... but who knows, I could be wrong. And I'm sure he'll fill me in when he's able."

Finn nods in understanding while mentally doing a fist pump at the fact that Rachel is not joining Jesse on this trip. He kind of hopes Jesse does get called away for an overseas project... except, what would that mean for Rachel? Would she have to move to England? God he hopes not... even though as she just said, it would be an incredible opportunity, but he just doesn't want to think about his best friend being separated from him by an ocean and a six hour time difference.

...FRFRF...

"Happy Birthday Carole!"

The two women embrace with such warmth and familiarity – they truly are family. Although they'd spent hours catching up at the Berry's Anniversary bash the previous night, it's still wonderful for the two of them to share these moments together.

Rachel has grown up before Carole Hudson-Hummel's eyes since the age of eight and blossomed into this incredible, bright, lovely young woman, so talented and bubbly and full of life. Carole is so proud to be considered the mom Rachel never had and to have witnessed all her many impressive accomplishments over the years.

Carole has always felt in the depths of her soul that Rachel was the one for Finn. A more perfect match couldn't have been made if she'd have custom wished the ideal daughter-in-law into existence. She was never the doting overbearing mom who interfered with her son's life or tried to control his every move, trusting him to follow his own heart and forge his own path in life as much as possible – but she NEVER understood how these two hadn't yet figured out they were simply made for one another as if by some divine higher power – and not just as best friends but in a soulmate sort of way.

When their senior year came around and she found out Finn would be taking Rachel to the prom, she was so sure that would be the turning point, because why wouldn't it be? Finn had been sulking for months while Rachel dated Noah Puckerman and learning about Finn defending Rachel's honor over Noah's infidelity seemed like a sign. Plus, prom nights are magical and full of romance; the perfect stage would be set for them to finally realize they were in love and meant to be. Sadly, it never came to pass and Carole never asked questions of either of them.

Looking between Rachel and Finn, Carole can't help recalling all the precious moments she's ever witnessed between them, from their first sleepover together at age 8 when they'd made a pillow fort in the living room (she still treasures the photo she'd snuck of them cuddled together asleep in each other's arms), to seeing Rachel's face light up over Finn's surprise bouquet of pink tulips for her opening night as Maria in West Side Story, to Finn's 16th birthday cake which Rachel baked especially for him (and Finn had refused to share with ANYONE at first).

She's seen them cuddled up watching fireworks at picnics, sharing the same ice cream cone, walking down the street with their hands entwined, and secretly gazing at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking since their hormones kicked in. Carole truly doesn't understand what the obstacle has been, unless one or the other really didn't have romantic feelings, but their body language alone has always betrayed that idea.

Even right now, Carole smiles at how they sit as close to each other as possible at the table with Finn's arm protectively draped across the back of her chair. She knows her son well enough to know what's going on in his heart – whether his brain knows it or not may be another matter. Carole wants to just jump and shake them both by the shoulders and tell them to just BE TOGETHER already, but obviously that would be highly inappropriate and simply isn't her place.

"Thank you so much Rachel dear, I know I just saw you yesterday but I've missed you so much sweetheart! We don't see nearly enough of each other anymore and that needs to change."

"I couldn't agree more! We should set a lunch date at least once a month," Rachel suggests.

"Ooo I'd love that! We'll have a girls day out, just the two of us... no human garbage disposals allowed," she winks at her son who is currently looking up at her with a mouthful of eggs benedict tucked in his cheeks.

"Hey, mom? What gives?" he complains through the mouthful.

"Pete's sake, chew your food Finny, and stop talking with your mouth full! Dear lord, I guess I'll never break you of that disgusting habit if I live to be a hundred."

Rachel giggles. "Carole, if it hasn't happened yet – and heaven knows you and I have BOTH tried – I don't think it ever will. I still have to remind him of his manners at least twice at every meal we share."

"Oh sure, let's play gang up FINN why dontcha," Finn grumbles teasingly to his two favorite women.

Carole directs a warm smile to Rachel and asks "So how are things coming along with the wedding plans dear, are you getting nervous? Excited?" She doesn't miss the sudden change in Finn's expression, or that he seems to retract a bit in his seat.

"Oh yes, well things are just wonderful. I actually do enjoy planning events, and certainly, Finn has been such a big help along the way. You should have seen him at the cake tasting and the caterers – you know those were his favorite parts!"

"Naturally, anything involving food is right up his alley. So... you've both made all the necessary arrangements for everything so far, or is there much left to do?"

Finn decides this is a road best not traveled and needs them off this train of thought like NOW. He's never been great at hiding things from his mother and this topic may venture to close to the reality of things which even Rachel isn't aware of yet – the fact that he hasn't actually booked much of anything, other than the (refundable) deposit on the event venue and a cake order (which truthfully would never go to waste no matter what). Then of course there's the whole being in love with his best friend topic that needs to be avoided at all possible costs for now and this conversation could become a powderkeg if left unchecked.

He decides it's time to change the subject before he opens mouth and inserts foot, so before Rachel can respond, Finn interrupts. "Mom, do we really need to rehash wedding stuff today? This is supposed to be YOUR day. Rach and me spend more than enough time dealing with this stuff all the time, no need to get into it again now. Anyway, uh, Kurt, didn't you and Blaine have a special afternoon planned for mom today?"

Kurt's eyes brighten and his voice rises an octave with his excitement. "Yes! We thought a trip to Sashay Fabray's hair and nail salon for a little mani-pedi pampering and maybe a quick coiffe touch up – your highlights are needing a little TLC. Our treat of course!"

Carole looks at her step-son, taking his hand in hers. "Oh boys, thank you, that's so sweet of you both... heaven knows I never turn down a good pedi. Oh! And Rachel, sweetheart you should join us! Are you free?"

Rachel's eyes widen as a timid smile emerges. "Well, actually, since we're here today, I was going to ask Finny about a special project I need his help with... but then again, I wouldn't mind a manicure myself. And I haven't seen Judy Fabray in a long while, it would be nice to say hello."

Finn's interest is immediately piqued. "What project Rach?"

"Oh! I thought we'd discuss this after we were finished eating, but... you remember we were talking about the rehearsal dinner plans? Well, I was thinking of adding a little personal touch of entertainment and making one of those video montages of Jesse and I. You with your flip-cam obsession, you probably have all the best video footage 'through the years' of me growing up, so... I hoped you wouldn't mind helping me find some acceptable photos and video clips to use."

Wonderful. Just what Finn wants to do – find ways of making her wedding to that douche more 'personal'... the only thing he really wants to do is stomp that ass-hat into the ground and run off with Rachel to an island paradise somewhere. Instead, he has to maintain the facade.

"Sure thing Shortcake... um, Burt and I were just gonna watch a game while the mani-pedi crew was out to play, but I can get started on it at least. I'll dig up my old files and look through my hard drives. You go ahead with mom and the guys – and get yourself the full mani-pedi-highlighter treatment – my treat. Just enjoy your super-fun spa day and I'll handle it."

"Thank you so much Finn, you're too sweet! But you don't need to pay for anything, I can–"

"NOPE. Call it a graduation gift. You deserve a little R&R anyway, you've been stressed out and doing way too much lately anyway... just go and relax."

"Finn, that's what you said when you picked up the bill for brunch last week."

"I insist. Go, have fun doing some mother daughter bonding stuff. If you have time maybe we can look at some of the videos together when you get back."

She beams her megawatt smile while placing her hand on his thigh and says "I always have time for you Finny... that sounds wonderful, and thank you for agreeing to help."

Kurt's been watching the back and forth and jumps in. "Well good, now that THAT's all settled, ladies, shall we ready ourselves?"

...FRFRF...

Finn has no trouble locating the video material Rachel is looking for. He'd spent a lot of time over the years organizing his video files by date and event and kept his Rachel collection in easily accessible order. Back in high school, he'd spent a lot of time revisiting those files while Rachel was dating Puck (PUCK? like what was she thinking?), remembering their best times together and wishing they could relive many of those happy moments. The question was which files would be appropriate for this project that leads to her tying herself to another guy? Finn thinks NONE of them would be, but she'd asked for his help and he'd never deny her.

He starts looking at the oldest files, going through a photo gallery that was largely composed of pictures and video taken of the two of them by his mother. He loves their first Halloween pictures together that year. She's dressed in a blonde wig, saddle shoes and 1950's style pink poodle skirt, and he's dressed in a black t-shirt, cuffed jeans and leather jacket while trying his best to slick his unruly hair back greaser style... they'd gone as Sandy Olsen and Danny Zuko from Grease.

Their first Christmas together was amazing. Rachel being Jewish, she'd never understood about his holiday celebration (nor he hers) and that year they'd taught one another about their differing traditions. Finn was tickled as he helped her add the lighted gold star to the top of the Christmas tree. She'd surprised him by bringing a bunch of homemade gold star and snare drum cutout ornaments she'd made special for him. They'd hung the ornaments together while snacking on the homemade gingerbread cookies they'd made together that night too (with his mom's help), and Finn thought it was the coolest Christmas tree he'd ever seen when it was all finished.

He flipped ahead to their family summer vacation at the beach when they were 12. Rachel came along, and there was video of him carrying her out into the water then throwing her into Lake Erie. She'd resurfaced with a look of shock on her face that was priceless. She then leaped up and tackled him, managing to knock him off balance and they fell into each other's arms as they went under the water together. He ended up giving her a piggyback ride back to shore.

Age 15 saw a backyard barbeque for Independence day at his house. He'd found some cool video taken after dark with her holding sparklers and singing the Star Spangled Banner. He felt the chills run through him from head to toe hearing her beautiful voice while appreciating how gorgeous she looked by the light of the sparklers.

Then he found photos he'd forgotten even existed... Kurt must have taken these. They were in Central Park by their tree the summer before senior year high school. Finn and Rachel had found a sprawling oak tree there, and for many years after grade school, this was always their spot. Finn had even carved their initials into the tree to mark it as such. It's the place they'd go when Finn was sad and missing his father, or where Rachel would cry on his shoulder over whatever had upset her at the time. They'd enjoyed many picnics and naps under that tree too. There was a large pond nearby with ducks and geese, and they'd often sit on the soft grassy bank feeding them. The best photo was taken from behind them while they sat side by side, her head resting on his arm and his head turned toward her with his chin propped on top of her head.

There were photos from a school picnic at the end of their final year of grade school, one of which was the two of them sitting on the see-saw. This one immediately brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't help but think back to that first day she'd approached him there, and how much joy she's brought to his life every single day since.

He really needs to have his talk with her soon to tell her how he feels, but he's honestly not sure how to start that conversation. He knows he needs a clean break from Santana before then though, and he still hasn't sorted out how to handle that situation either. All he knows is every minute without telling her feels like a wasted minute, and as the days pass, he just longs to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her senseless. Realizing his true feelings is becoming torture.

Sighing in frustration, he decides to just pull out copies of videos and photos and begins adding them to a new folder to show to Rachel when she returns. This was going to be a long and sort of painful night spent reminiscing, but he figures he should get used to that feeling – at least until he can ever get his life back in order and hopefully find a way to convince Rachel not to marry Jesse.

...FRFRF...

A/N - MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS FINCHELINGS!