Chapter 29

Daenerys Targaryen POV

Jon and I are going on a date, we haven't had much time to do something together like that since we got back from Winter break. We've barely even had time to talk much, the most we get is talking a little before bed. We live together, but we've been working and studying so much. We definitely need this time together.

We go to one of the food courts on campus. There's a lot of little spots where you can order food and relax while studying or talking to friends. We don't go as often now that we live off campus and in our own apartment.

"So did everything go okay with your family over the break?" I ask Jon. "I know we haven't got much of a chance to talk about it, and I wanted to ask how it went."

"It went okay," he says. "I did have a talk with my dad while I guess you were with Sansa."

"How did that go?"

"It was alright, I guess," he says. "I convinced him to at least think about telling my mom the truth about me."

"Was he not going to tell her?"

"He wasn't sure he wanted to bring up bad memories," he says. "I know the whole subject is hard for her."

"Well, it's hard because he wasn't honest to begin with," I say. "I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business. I'm just giving my perspective, feel free to tell me to shut up."

"It's fine, I'm not offended," he says. "I told him maybe it would make my mom hate me less if he told her the truth."

"I hope he does so things are finally made a little easier for you," I say. "I'm sorry you've had to grow up with this hostility."

"Thank you," he says. "I love you."

"I love you more." Jon shakes his head and takes a long sip of his drink, I just nod.

"Bran's still with Meera," Jon says after we take a few bites of food. "He did say something concerning while I was there, though."

"What was it?"

"He made a comment about how she wouldn't go further than kissing him," he says. "He's only 13, it just worried me."

"That is pretty young," I say. "I lost my virginity when I was 14, and it wasn't a good experience. I know I was way too young."

"I told him he better not pressure her to do anything, and he said he wouldn't."

"Good," I say. "I think kids are having sex way too young these days, I know Cersei was younger than me."

"How old was she?"

"13, I think," I say. "She told me she lost her virginity to a guy she met while her family was on vacation at the lake. I wasn't with her, but I know it was Jaime."

"I'll never understand that," Jon says. "I can't imagine thinking about any of my siblings like that."

"Me neither," I say. "But I never really understood Cersei in a lot of ways."

There's a pause. "I actually wanted to ask you something about Jaime," Jon says. "And whatever you say, I promise I won't get jealous. I'm honestly just curious."

"Okay," I say. I'm intrigued by what he wants to ask. "What is it?"

"Did you ever have a crush on Jaime?" He asks me. "I know you guys grew up together, and Bran grew up with Meera, which is what made me think about this."

I pause, I didn't expect him to ask that. "I know you spent a lot of time with them," he says. "It would be natural for you guys to maybe like each other at some point, going through puberty and all."

"I get it, it makes sense that you would wonder that," I say. "I kind of always saw Jaime as a brother, but I did have a small crush on him briefly in 6th grade. I was like, 11 then."

"Did you ever tell him?"

"No, but I did tell Cersei," I say. "I was spending a ton of time with them and staying there a lot, so I told her I thought Jaime was cute."

"What did she say?" Jon asks.

"She was upset," I say. "She didn't talk to me for days after that, and I was staying with them so I started sleeping in one of the guest rooms and it got awkward. It didn't make sense to me at all at the time."

"Did she tell you why she was so upset?"

"No, of course not," I say. "She said it was weird for me to like her brother, and she couldn't look at me the same if we started dating. I had to basically promise her I wouldn't ask Jaime out before we could make up."

"That's so weird," he says. "Had anything happened between them at that point, or do you not know?"

"I don't know for sure," I say. "But I do think they cuddled at that point, and probably kissed. I was pretty innocent back then, so I can't say for sure."

"Do you think Jaime ever liked you back?"

"I don't think he really ever let his mind go there enough to consider it," I say. "I think he's only ever had eyes for Cersei."

"I don't understand it," Jon says. "Why is he dating someone else now?"

"Because he likes someone else now, and Cersei is with someone else." I say. "He and Cersei have always had rough patches and a toxic relationship, I think he's starting to see that they aren't good for each other."

"It seems like they aren't," Jon says. "Maybe them being apart is a good thing."

"I think it is, but obviously Cersei won't ever tell me the truth," I say. "I just hate how toxic and self-destructive she's become, we used to be so close."

"I know," he says. "I'm sorry, it must be really hard to see your friend change for the worse like that. I wish I could make it better, but I know there isn't much I can do."

"It's okay," I say. "I just appreciate that you're willing to listen."

"Always," Jon says. "You know I'm always here for you."

"And I'm always here for you."

I love that Jon and I can talk about our problems and support each other, even if there's nothing we can do to fix them for the other person. It means a lot to me that he can listen to me without just talking bad about Cersei and Jaime, even though I know he doesn't really like them.

I feel really supportive in my relationship with him, and I hope he feels the same way. I know we've had some rough patches and it hasn't always been easy, but I feel like it's better now than it's ever been. I feel like we can make it through almost anything.

Cersei Lannister POV

I haven't snorted Xanax since Bronn and I were at my dad's house over the break, but I have been taking it every day. I feel a lot calmer when I take it, even if it's just a little bit. It also makes me less bitchy and in a generally better mood, which I feel like everyone around me appreciates.

I typically sneak one at work here and there in the bathroom and wait for it to kick in before going back out there, my job can be overwhelming when it gets busy and it does help. I'm not addicted like all the school lessons said I'd be, it just helps me function a little better. I don't think anyone can tell I've been taking it.

Dany and I didn't have work today. I asked if we could hang out, but of course she wanted to hang out with Jon. I guess they haven't gotten enough time together lately. I decide to go to Bronn's place instead, I drive up and knock on the door.

"Hey," he says, giving me a hug. "What a nice surprise that you asked if you could come over."

"Yeah, sorry it was such short notice," I say, walking into the apartment. "I thought I might hang out with Dany, but she had plans."

"Well good," he says. "I love hanging out with you."

"Where's Jorah?"

"He's at work," Bronn says. "He'll be back later tonight, though."

"Good," I say, leaning in. "That gives us more privacy." I kiss him and we start making out.

We head to the couch and start taking off our clothes. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I'm starting to be glad that I didn't hang out with Dany. I needed to get laid.

We have sex on the couch, it doesn't end up lasting very long. That's not so bad, it's actually kind of flattering.

"Was that okay?" Bronn asks me when he comes back to the couch after cleaning up. "Sorry it didn't last that long."

"That's fine," I say. "We can always go again." We kiss and start to get dressed.

"Is there anything in particular you want to do?" Bronn asks me after we get dressed.

"Not really," I say. "Maybe just watch some TV."

"That's good with me," he says. "Maybe some more other stuff later?"

"Maybe, we'll see," I say, winking at him. "If you're lucky."

…

We watch some TV and end up having sex again. I got really into it, I'm not sure why I've been wanting to so much lately. We get back to watching the show for a while after that.

"It's getting late," I say as I notice it's already dark. "I should probably head home."

"Do you want to stay over?" Bronn asks me as I get up. "Jorah really wouldn't mind."

"I want to, but I have to be at class tomorrow," I say. "I can't let my grades slip too much or my dad will threaten to stop supporting me. It got kinda bad last year and the year before that."

"Yeah, I remember something about that," Bronn says. "Jaime and Dany were pretty upset."

"Yeah, they were convinced I was out of control," I say. "I think they were overreacting a little bit."

"Was your dad mad?"

"It was more Jaime that was mad," I say. "But I know it came from a place of caring about me, he was just misguided."

"Do you want some pills to take home with you?" Bronn asks me.

"Yeah, actually," I say. "That would be great, they'll help me sleep tonight."

He goes to his dresser drawer and gets some pills out of a spot where he hides them. I know he has different hiding spots around his room for his stuff, but even I don't know where all those spots are.

He gives me a little baggie of a few pills. "Do you think this will be enough?" He asks me.

"Yeah," I say. "At least for a couple days. Thanks babe."

"Of course," he says, kissing my cheek. "Have you been snorting the ones I've been giving you?"

"No," I say. "I haven't snorted since the first time when you were with me."

"That's probably good," he says. "I know I said it wasn't that bad, but it probably isn't something you want to get into regularly."

I shrug. "Whatever, I haven't done it."

"Bye," he says. "Text me when you get home."

"Sure thing." I give him a kiss and head out.

I drive home. We did drink a little, but luckily I'm not that tipsy. I'm definitely okay to drive, my alcohol tolerance is pretty high. I feel bad that I didn't stay over, I wanted to. I just know it would've been better to head home, and I'm less likely to end up as hungover tomorrow if I go home.

I get home and hide the pills in my nightstand drawer, I'll reward myself for studying by taking them before bed. I do pour myself a glass of wine to have while studying, there's no harm in that. I don't know how people like Dany and Jaime can accuse me of being out of control with drinking and drugs, I'm clearly capable of finding a balance. I just like to party.

Jaime Lannister POV

I really want to see Brienne again soon, definitely before Spring break. I'd love for her to come visit me, but I can't see that working out with Cersei here. They definitely can't be here at the same time, that would be a nightmare.

Brienne calls me up while I'm studying in my room. I smile when I see it's her, we haven't been talking on the phone much lately. We've mainly been texting.

"Hey babe," I say. "How was work?"

"It was okay," she says. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," I say. "Just doing some reading for class."

"Anything interesting?"

"Honestly, not really," I say. "Talking to you is way more interesting."

"Aw, thanks."

"So I was actually wanting to ask you about something," I say after a pause. "And whatever you say, I'll understand."

"What is it?"

"I want you to come visit me here," I say. "Maybe you can spend the weekend with me and I can show you around campus."

There's a pause, I can tell she's thinking about it and I understand why she's hesitant.

"Don't you live with Cersei?" She eventually asks.

"Yeah," I say. "I know you guys shouldn't be around each other, but it won't hurt for me to at least ask her about it."

"Do you really think she'll agree?"

"Probably not," I say. "But she has Bronn over all the time."

Brienne sighs. "Okay, go ahead and ask," she says. "But if she's going to be staying at your place, I'd rather not. Seeing her a bit is one thing, sleeping one room away from her in a tiny apartment is another."

"I understand," I say. "If by some miracle she agrees, when is best for you?"

"In 2 weekends," she says. "That way I can plan for it."

"Okay, sounds good," I say. "I'll ask her and let you know what she says."

"Okay," she says. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Of course," I say. "Bye."

"Bye."

I walk out of my room and go to Cersei's room after hanging up. I knock on the door. "What do you want?" She asks.

"Can I come in?"

"Whatever," she says. "Come in."

I open the door and stand in the doorway. She's on her bed on her computer. "Can I talk to you about something?" I ask.

"What is it?"

"I really want Brienne to be able to come and visit me," I say. I'm honestly terrified to bring this up to her. "I know you wouldn't want her here, though. That's why I didn't want to ask her without talking to you first."

She doesn't respond at first, she just looks at me. I'm fully expecting her to explode at me.

"Sure," she says. "But just for a night or two."

"I don't think she'd be able to stay more than that," I say. "She has work and stuff. Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Cersei says. "I'll stay with Bronn or something, he keeps asking me to stay over more anyway."

"Okay," I say. "That's great to hear, thank you." This went way smoother than I expected.

"I have no right to tell you she can't come over," she says. "Even if I'm not her biggest fan."

"I think it's unfair that you don't like her," I say. "She's nothing but kind to everyone."

"Do you think it's easy for me to see you with her?" She asks. "You can't see how that might make me a little uncomfortable?"

I can see that, but she should've thought about that before being with all the guys she was with. She never considered how that would impact me.

"I can see that," I say. "Just like I'm sure you can see how you being with Bronn would make me uncomfortable."

"Yeah, I'm starting to understand that more," she says. "But I'm still going to keep seeing him."

"Because he has the hookup."

"Shut up," she says. "I'm not going to do this with you."

"Okay," I say. "We don't have to. Brienne wanted to come by in 2 weeks, if that's okay."

"Yeah, it's fine."

I don't leave, I feel like this conversation isn't over. I want to give her a chance to say more if she wants to.

"So how is it going with Brienne?" Cersei asks. "Is the sex good?" That seems a little personal, but it's also weird for me to think about having any secrets from her.

"It was good over the summer when we were seeing each other," I say. "But she wants to take it slow now."

"Why?"

"Just to make sure we have a solid foundation, I guess," I say. "I'm respecting it either way."

"You must be going crazy," Cersei says. "You know, with your sex drive."

"I'm fine with it," I say. "I like her, so it's not a big deal."

Cersei rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure."

I leave her room and go back into mine. I sit on my bed and take out my phone to text Brienne.

*Cersei said 2 weekends from now is fine.*

Ding. *Really?*

*Yeah, I was surprised too. She'll stay with Bronn that weekend.*

Ding. *Okay, sounds good. :)*

I can't lie, I'm hoping she and I will sleep together when she comes to visit. It's been a while and I would like to get laid, especially while being in a relationship. At the very least, I hope we can make out and maybe fool around.

I do like Brienne, but it's still an adjustment to not be with Cersei. I never thought there would be a time where we weren't together, I was fully prepared to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm not sure anyone will ever know me like she does, but I do think it's worth it to try.