Sawed: Chapter 03
Chikorita-Trainer1
T
Disclaimer: I don't own Saw or anything I might reference or shamelessly rip off.
Adam and Lawrence were still in Lawrence's room since that morning. Adam had pulled a chair right up close to the bed and they were watching the TV as Lawrence flipped through the channels.
The Price is Right…News…Arthur…News…some movie with Nicolas Cage…an infomercial…News…
"Wait, wait, wait! Go back, go back!" Adam suddenly shouted. Lawrence went back a few channels, back to the Nicolas Cage movie.
"What are you reading?" Nicolas Cage's character asked of Joaquin Phoenix's. The younger character held up a pornographic novel. "Catchy title. What are you really reading? Hard to believe that book's got any parts worth highlighting." Joaquin Phoenix revealed that inside the pornography was a book by Truman Capote.
"What is this?" asked Lawrence.
"8mm!" said Adam. "THIS—this movie—is what made me want to do what I do."
"What, take pictures of people you don't even know?" said Lawrence.
"Investigate. Be a spy. Tail people, solve mysteries?" Adam challenged.
"What's this about?"
"Nic Cage plays a private investigator, who gets hired to find out if an eight-millimeter film an old lady found in her husband's safe is a genuine snuff film," said Adam. "And to find the girl in the film, and see if she's really dead."
"Oh, I don't want to watch this," Lawrence complained.
"No, you don't SEE any snuff, all you see is shots of Nicolas Cage watching the film, cringing and looking away. They don't show anything actually happening. It's all implied," said Adam.
"That's still really disturbing."
"Fine. Whatever."
Lawrence turned the TV off and sighed.
"So, what happens in it?"
"He finds the girl's picture in a missing persons file, tracks down her mom, follows some leads, finds that she ran away to Hollywood to be a movie star, but ended up doing porn. He kills James Gandolfini and burns his body and then he goes to find the guy IN the snuff film who did the killing, and kills him too."
"Sounds familiar," said Lawrence.
"I know, right?" said Adam.
"How does he find out who that guy is?"
"He and Joaquin Phoenix kind-of team up and study as many snuff films as they can by this director Dino Velvet—played by the guy, I don't remember his name, he was in Fargo—and he says he wants to commission a film, and WATCH him work, so he can SEE the guy who does the killing. It all backfires, of course."
"This is sounding…morbidly familiar," said Lawrence. "And this is your favorite movie?"
"I never said that. It just made me want to…do that. Surveillance."
Adam thought about the similarities between the movie that had inspired him and the situation he had found himself in just a couple days ago. Could Jigsaw have known such a film had influenced him? Is that why he chose Adam to play his game? Did Jigsaw see some similarities between a voyeur like Adam and sick, underground pornographers?
"There's a line in the movie, after Nic Cage says he wants to commission a film from Dino Velvet, where Dino holds up a camera to his face and asks if he can photograph him, and Nic Cage puts his hand in front of the lens and goes "I'm camera-shy." And Dino Velvet goes "You trust me to take your money but not your picture?" And he's like "Those are two different kinds of trust.""
Lawrence was silent as he processed this quote. His eyebrows creased in concentration and he stared off, seemingly into the wall beneath the television.
"So, you going to tell me your name or what?"
"…Adam."
"Throw me the player."
"No. You throw me your tape."
"Look, we're going to have to work together if we want to get out of here, now just throw it to me."
"I'm not going to risk breaking it! You throw me your tape!"
That was the first instance of distrust between them.
"I really don't see the point in us not helping one another."
"Well, what do you want me to do? I'm on a leash."
"That's exactly why we need to talk! We need to think!"
"I am thinking!"
"Well, then don't keep me in the dark about what you're thinking!"
"Lawrence?" Adam said, snapping the doctor out of his trance.
"What?"
"What are you thinking about?"
Lawrence chuckled. "I'm thinking about the last time I asked you that."
Adam raised an eyebrow.
"In the bathroom, when I told you not to keep me in the dark about what you were thinking."
"Oh," Adam said, with a sigh of regret in his voice.
"You were keeping that picture of my family from me," said Lawrence.
"I didn't want to freak you out," said Adam.
"I know that now," said Lawrence. "You wanted to spare me the pain. But I didn't know that at the time, I just thought you had some ulterior motive."
"Yeah, I get that," said Adam.
""Two different kinds of trust,"" Lawrence repeated the line from the film. "That was our problem. We didn't trust each other, because we were both hiding things we weren't proud of. We should have set those things aside and trusted each other with our lives."
Adam leaned forward in his chair so he could turn more towards Lawrence and listen.
"If we had just realized that trusting each other with our lives and trusting each other with our secrets…our lifestyles…were two different kinds of trust…maybe we could have figured it out a lot faster."
"I guess that was my fault," said Adam. Lawrence turned to look at him. "You wanted to work together from the start, and I didn't trust you."
"How do I know you're telling the truth? You could be the one who put me in this room!"
"I'm in the exact same situation you're in."
"And I didn't actually think you were the one who put me there, I was just acting tough 'cause I was scared. I guess I thought…" Adam trailed off, his voice beginning to quiver as tears began to form in his eyes. "I thought if I accused you of something, maybe I could feel a little more in control."
"I was scared, too," said Lawrence.
Adam turned away from Lawrence and began rubbing at his eyes, unconsciously trying to make it look like he 'just had something in his eyes,' as men often will, not realizing that Lawrence had already seen him cry, already seen him beg, already seen him at his lowest, and that there was no need for him to front.
"Hey, come here," Lawrence said softly. Adam looked up, his eyes glistening, and saw Lawrence's outstretched hands, beckoning him up onto the bed. He rose from his seat and sat down with his right leg on the bed, the left one stabilizing him on the floor. Lawrence gently enveloped him in a light hug, mindful of his wounded shoulder. Adam sniffed and leaned his face down on Lawrence's shoulder.
"It's OK, and I'm not mad at you," he whispered. "I'm so glad you're alive."
"I was so scared I would never see you again," Adam whispered back. Lawrence rubbed his back soothingly.
Lawrence slowly drew his hands up to Adam's shoulders to gently push him back a little, to look in his eyes. Then he softly leaned his forehead against Adam's, lightly nuzzling their heads together affectionately. Adam closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath, and then sighed.
Eventually the men parted, and Adam pulled back a bit, still sitting on the edge of Lawrence's bedside.
"Hey, as long as we're being honest, you mind if I ask what happened in that room with that chick?"
Lawrence narrowed his eyes, trying to restrain himself from shouting at Adam like he had in the bathroom.
"I DID NOT CHEAT ON HER!"
"What do you care what I think anyway? I don't give a crap if you covered yourself in peanut butter and had a fifteen-hooker gangbang!"
"I went in, she…propositioned me…I said I couldn't. I apologized for even telling her to come there, and I got up to leave. Then the phone rang and…I guess it was either Tapp or Zep…but I went to leave. But I never did the deed. I went there with the intention of telling her I couldn't do it, despite having given her my pager number."
Adam wasn't sure about what he was hearing, but he also knew that at this point, with his wife already leaving him, Lawrence had no reason to lie about having cheated on her. So why wouldn't this be the truth? Especially when he had been so indignant in his denial in the bathroom.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked curiously.
"Well, you know, going to a seedy out-of-the-way motel to NOT fuck my secretary? I mean, it sounds a little strange, don't you think?" said Lawrence. It did seem like a futile argument to make to anyone.
"Hm," said Adam. His eyes darted away, and then he looked back at Lawrence with a smile. "Not that strange."
Lawrence smiled back and Adam casually flicked a lock of hair out of the doctor's face.
The delicate comfort of the moment was suddenly broken by Adam's stomach growling.
"Damn," said Lawrence. "You haven't eaten?"
"Uh…first thing I did this morning was come and see you. So…no?"
"You'd better get back to your room so they can bring you something."
"Eh, but hospital food sucks," said Adam.
"Well, you've got to eat something. Come on," said Lawrence, nudging Adam with his elbow. Adam conceded because he really was frustratingly hungry.
"Alright, alright," he said, getting up. "I'll see you later."
"OK. Take care."
"Bye."
END OF CHAPTER 03
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