J—
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"Nine out of ten people like your book choice." Rosé does her best to comfort me when I feed her the "I don't want to talk about it" line for a solid week after ending things with Lisa. "And one out of ten people like it when you sit on their face."
I flick a french fry at her face as we eat our favorite veggie burgers from the new restaurant across from the bouldering gym. "Shut up."
"Speaking of face-sitting … Adrian will be here this weekend."
"No. Way!" I find my first genuine smile since book club. "Should we start shopping for your wedding gown?"
"I hope so, but I want to give him a chance to have second thoughts in person. I mean … I can be a handful."
"True." I push my plate away, stuffed. "But I'm not worried about it, and you shouldn't be either. You're a great catch."
"Thanks. Can I ask a favor?" She wipes her mouth with the napkin.
"Sure. Whatcha need?"
"I need the place to myself this weekend. I'll pay for you to stay at a hotel. A nice one with a great view."
"It's fine." I laugh. "Trust me; I don't want to be in the next room when all the sexual tension explodes. I'll stay with my parents for the night. No need to pay for a hotel room when they live fifteen minutes from here."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
"You could stay with a certain neighbor."
"Nice try. I'd stay with Felix first."
"I thought you said Felix has a new girlfriend."
I shrug. "He does."
She coughs. "You'd stay with a guy whom you have sex with on the regular when he has a girlfriend? What if she were with him?"
"It's not like I'd sleep in their bed with them. I'd stay on the couch."
"And … that wouldn't be weird?"
"We're friends. And sometimes we have sex. We know there's a line, and we both respect that line."
"You didn't have a line with Lisa?"
"Lisa consumed me."
"Face-sitting. I know. Enough bragging about that."
I fling another fry at her face. "Stop it." I grin. "Her confidence consumed me. It was so effortless. Things that shouldn't be sexy—not even a little bit—she made them sexy."
Like a mating dance.
"The problem was I liked her too much and cared about her opinion too much. So as trivial as disagreeing about a book probably seems to everyone else, it mattered to me. And as hard as I tried not to let it bother me, it did." I glance at my watch. "I have to get back to work."
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The following week, Sana grabs my arm and pulls me into the office before I can speak. "I'm going to need more details." I pry her hand from my arm and set my purse under the desk.
"Your neighbor. The girl with the great hair?"
"Yeah?"
"She's with another girl."
"And?" I plop into the desk chair and grab the mouse, clicking on the mail inbox.
"I thought she had a thing for you. What happened? I mean, she paid me fifty dollars to make you believe she was paying a thousand for you to spot her."
"Wait … what?"
A cringe wrinkles her face. "Sorry. It seemed like no big deal at the time."
"To lie to me?" I swivel in the chair and shoot her a look that she doesn't want if she knows what's good for her.
She shrugs. "Sorry."
"Did you give the money to the gym?"
"Um … well …"
"Did she pay for a day pass?"
"Oh, yeah." She sighs like that's my only concern and I won't report her to Linda. "She bought a year membership. The fifty was for me."
I narrow my eyes. We are not finished, but I have something else I need to do first. After brushing past her, I scan the gym for Lisa. My gaze snags on the first shirtless girl; of course, it's her. She's watching a girl climb. As I get closer, I notice it's the employee from her shop.
Stepping behind her, I clear my throat and find a stiff smile.
She turns. "Hey."
"A word, please."
After a slight pause and narrow-eyed inspection of me, she turns back toward the wall. "Jisoo, I'll be right back."
I lead her to the single-stall restroom, peek inside, and nod for her to follow me when I see it's empty. I lock the door and ball my hands when the door closes behind us. "You owe this gym a thousand dollars."
It takes a few seconds for things to register, then she grins. "Nine hundred and fifty."
"A thousand. Sana kept your bribe, asshole. And you wasted an hour of my life."
"You look really pretty today. And I miss you." Her attention drifts to my mouth.
"You know … it's funny how you lied about paying this gym a grand for my service, but you couldn't lie about how much you detested a book."
"It's just a—"
I shake my head. "No. I'm so tired of everyone saying it's just a book. If it were just a book, then why not say something nice or not say anything at all? Why not show a little respect for my opinion and the opinions of other people in the group who like the book? Don't act like you're a saint for telling the 'truth' about just a book, then turn around and lie to spend time with me. One word …" I hold up a finger. "You ended us with one word."
"You told me to say it."
"Not that word!" I rub my temples.
"Rosé said there was no right or wrong answer."
"Rosé lied!" Yes, I'm pissed off. I'm not mad that she doesn't like the book. I'm angry because I like her so much it's hard to focus and she doesn't like the book. Separately, I could deal with either thing, but not together.
Lisa's brows fly up her forehead, and her head snaps backward. After several silent seconds, her shock settles into something …
Something that makes the hair on my skin stand erect.
Something that arrests all of my thoughts.
Those piercing eyes go from wide to tiny little slits. "I think I know what you need."
"N-no … I don't think you do. In fact—"
Fuck! NOOOOO!
She kisses me. Number one rule to breakups: NO. MORE. KISSING!
She's terrible at breaking up.
Terrible at leaving her lips off mine.
Terrible at knowing when to lie and when to tell the truth.
Lisa Fucking Manoban …
I'm an addict, and she's an enabler. When I die of bad decisions, it will be her fault. In the meantime, I let her kiss me because I like nearly everything about her.
I kiss her back. God … I love kissing her.
She shoves her hand down the front of my leggings and panties. I try to protest, but I'm already too high.
Not too high to think about her hand covered in chalk.
She's shoving her chalk fingers into my vagina!
And … I'm letting her.
Pissed-off Jennie.
Shirtless Lisa.
A kiss.
Chalk fingers in the vagina.
Painful fumbling to free one of Jennie's legs from her leggings.
Lisa plants Jennie's bare ass on the edge of the sink.
Cock exposed.
Cock in now, chalky vagina.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
The fastest orgasm record is broken.
And I'm thinking in the third person, which I do when I feel out of control—like something's not happening to me. I am too controlled to let something this irresponsible happen while on the clock, but that Jennie girl … has issues.
I can't let go of her. It's her labored breath and mine. My arms around her neck and my mouth pressed to her shoulder—teeth withdrawing from her skin. Lisa's grip on my spread thighs eases a little, but she stays inside me. I don't want her to move. I could walk around all day with Lisa's dick between my legs and never complain.
In conclusion, I, Jennie Kim, am a sex fiend and need help.
Holy. Fucking. Stupid! What have we done?
Lisa eases out of me, steadying me with one hand while grabbing a wad of towels with her other hand.
I wrinkle my nose and take the wad from her. "Turn around."
She gives me a tense expression for a few seconds as she tucks herself back into her briefs and zips her climbing pants. Then she turns around, facing the door, while I sidestep from the sink to the toilet.
When I flush it, Lisa faces me. I nod at her hands as I dry mine. She knows where those fingers have been. We stare at each other's reflection in the mirror while she washes her hands. I blow out a slow breath and wait as she dries them.
She tosses the towels into the trash. "What time do you get off work?"
"That's what you have to say after what just happened?" My lips part to accommodate my gasp. I'm aware of my stubbornness. The problem with stubborn people is that we are too stubborn to change even when we hear a whispered voice of reason. I have no right to be upset … but it's happening anyway.
Lisa shrugs. "Yeah. What do you want me to say? I think we covered the basics."
"We didn't cover your dick! We never cover your dick. I'd hardly say we've covered the basics. And you have a date waiting for you. And I'm supposed to be working."
That stupid smirk of hers …
"She's not my date. We just decided to climb together. The fact that she's female means nothing. And you dragged me in here. If you're on the clock, that's your fault, not mine. If it helps your job situation, I'll happily leave a glowing Yelp review and mention your name. The uncovered cock part was a little risky. But if I recall correctly … we've been driving that car without brakes for weeks. We'd probably better pray on that one. But overall … I regret nothing. Five stars all the way."
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
Prayer? I've let myself stoop to having sex with someone who considers prayer a form of safe sex. I need therapy.
Therapy for obsessing over a book.
Therapy for having no control over my attraction to the wrong person.
Therapy for my flawed personality that's gotten me into this pray-the-STD-away jam I'm in.
"Listen, uh …" I clear my throat and straighten my spine as if there's any dignity left in this tiny space after what transpired. "I think it's best if you never kiss me again." I reach past her and open the door. She hooks her finger into the waist of my leggings to stop me from leaving. Even now … after this epic misstep in my day, there's a direct correlation between her touch and my heart rate.
"I don't have to kiss you to fuck you," she whispers in my ear before releasing me, sauntering past me, and returning to the climbing wall and her female buddy without another glance in my direction.
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