Ch 21: Shock Waves, Facing the Truth
Returning from his walk, Rob first heard Tim's chair crash and hurried into the house in time to see Ducky crumple to the floor as a door slammed. Maggie, who had also been out walking, remembered Rob was staying in the spare bedroom and headed there for his medical bag while he ran to Ducky.
As the older man slowly regained consciousness he found he was lying on the floor with his legs elevated on a low footstool. Dr. Rob was taking his vitals and smiled at him, "Good, there you are! No, stay where you are for a few minutes, your vitals are still a bit out of whack, although you're recovering nicely."
Ducky frowned, "Timothy?"
"Maggie found him in the bathroom, getting sick and called in the troops, who were on their way home from church. Artie, Athena and Mom are with him now, Dad's getting him clean clothes and the children are having lunch with Peter and Rhode. As soon as your vitals are back to normal, Athena, Mom and I will switch places."
"He needs you, Robbie! I don't know what he saw but whatever it is, he reacted immediately. I only know what I saw but he wouldn't have known. Unless…"
Ducky shifted but Rob shook his head, "Not yet, Doctor. Your body isn't ready to sit up yet. Another few minutes. Tim vomited, you lost consciousness, there's a big difference there. No more talking, just rest."
Refraining from rolling his eyes, Ducky obeyed.
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In the bathroom, Artie, Lu, Jethro and Mimi knelt by Tim. He was curled up on the floor, clutching his stomach and from the smell, he'd already been sick. Jethro got behind him and helped him to sit up, wrapping his arms gently around his chest. Lu found a face cloth, wet it and carefully wiped his face and hands. Then she knelt on the floor in front of him, placing her hands on either side of his face. Artie sat next to him, rubbing his ice cold hands. She stopped long enough for her yaya, Athena the retired nurse, to take his pulse.
Tim blinked, realizing he wasn't alone and that felt incredibly good. He always felt safe with his wife, dad, mom and grandmother. His mother left the room, saying she'd be right back. He didn't think he could talk yet but knew he needed to tell them what he'd seen. Thinking of it made him start crying again, although this time he cried quietly, not the sobs that first hit him.
When his mother re-entered the bathroom, he was scared when she said that Ducky was all right, not sure what that meant. He reached one hand up to place in his mother's, the other to Athena and leaned into his wife's arms. His mind was clearing and he realized the first thing he needed to do. Maggie had slipped out when Malu returned.
Trying to take a deep breath, he winced as his throat and chest were sore from vomiting. Finally he managed to get some air into his lungs before asking in a hoarse voice, "What's wrong with Ducky? I'm okay, at least getting there. Dad, I need to talk with Leon as soon as possible."
His mother looked puzzled and then worried, cupping his face with one hand while his father nodded, his face also clouded with worry. Athena wasn't sure what was happening with Timothy although she'd already realized he must have been with Donald when he looked at his cousins' papers. Wanting to be with her Donald, she must have made a movement because Tim nodded, "Yaya, yes, please, you know he needs you." Leaning forward, she kissed his forehead before she left the room.
Malu said, "Rob says he fainted but that he was coming around all right. Sweetheart, do you think you can stand? It might be easier to handle the call with Leon from the family room."
He sat back, "Yes to the living room but I need another couple of minutes."
Even as he moved he felt more tears streaming down his face and his body trembling, still dealing with shock. Artie murmured quietly to her love as she helped him.
Eventually Artie and his parents were able to help him stand and then walked with him to the living room, which wasn't far. Rob appeared there, saying Ducky's vitals were better and he'd helped him to the room he was staying in, where Ducky could lie down, Athena was with him.
Everyone relaxed a bit at that. Rob had Tim sit on a sofa, Artie and his parents on either side. Rob had no idea what had caused Tim or Ducky's shock but he knew that whatever had happened his brother would need his wife and their parents close by. Rob took Tim's blood pressure again, finding it still several points higher than normal. He'd take it again in a few minutes as Tim continued to recover. While his physical signs, pulse, heart rate, temperature, seemed to be recovering, Rob was concerned with his brother's mental and emotional state and he was thankful Artemis and their parents were here. Whatever this was, it was big or bad enough to bring his brother to his knees, something Rob hadn't seen since Tim was hurt at the shelter when they were kids.
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In the room with Ducky, Athena watched him sleep. Giving her sleeping mate a kiss, she went to find her grandson. Relieved they were no longer in the bathroom, she sat down with the others in the family room, quietly telling them that Ducky was peacefully sleeping and that his pulse and breathing were close to normal, with Rob adding that his blood pressure was close to his normal reading.
Tim nodded, relieved to hear that Ducky's vital signs were nearly back to normal. Rubbing Tim's wrists, Rob gave the others a look they interpreted as 'let me do my job.' Softly he asked Tim if he could tell him what happened. Tim, who'd had his eyes closed, opened them and the grief and anger in his expressive eyes caused the others to gasp.
Knowing the children were safe, as far as he knew their brothers, sisters and their children were also safe, Rob had a sinking sensation what this might be about and with a quick glance at the others, he saw they'd reached the same conclusion.
"What did you see, Tim?"
"My name, my birth name. And their names, the people who sold me. Lily and Daniel."
At a noise, they looked at Artie. She remembered him vetoing both names 5 years ago when they were discussing what to name Jackson and Ellanne. Then she realized he'd also said they sold him.
She knew, he'd told her when they were at MIT, that he believed he'd been sold as a child. Now from the looks on Lu and Jethro's faces, he'd also told them and she remembered telling Yaya what Tim believed. However, Rob apparently hadn't been told as he was nearly overwhelmed.
Lu took one of Rob's hands while Jethro was trying to rein in his own anger. Yes, he'd been told but to actually know that someone had done such a heinous thing was a fresh wound. Then he realized that Rob was crying and wrapped his arms around him while Lu held his hands.
Gently squeezing Tim's hands, Artie asked him to tell them his birth name. His lips curved up a little bit. "It's a good name, the first part anyway. It's Jeffrey. The whole thing is Jeffrey Andrew Langston and Mama, you were right, I was too small to be 10 years old when we first met. I was born in November 1978, not in June of 1976. I'm two and a half years younger than the doctors guessed I was."
Dad said, "Timson, the people who sold you, were they your parents?"
Making a face, Tim took a calming breath before answering, "The female was my birth mother, no, that's not right. I won't use the word mother when referring to her. She was my egg donor and gestational carrier. I don't know who he was. On Ducky's paper, they were married but he was not my father. I never had a father until I met you, same with you as my mother, Mama. You and Dad have been and always will be my first and only parents."
He frowned, "What made Ducky faint?"
Rob answered, "We don't know yet. He told me he'd had an emotional shock and fainted, I saw him fall as I walked in the door. He came out of it fairly quickly and on his own. Physically, he'll be all right."
Tim had several thoughts running through his mind but everything was still a bit cloudy so he concentrated on what he knew without a doubt. "I still need to call Leon."
His mother frowned but Jethro discreetly shook his head. "To look for a cold case?"
"Yeah, Dad. I'm pretty sure my not-father was in the Navy."
"And his name is on Ducky's paper?"
Tim nodded and Jethro kissed the top of his head. "All right, then let's call Leon. Dr. Rob?"
"I'll stay."
Jethro turned to Athena, "Do you want to check on Ducky?"
She nodded before saying, "I think I will stay with him, if that is all right with you, Timothy?"
Tim nodded, holding out his arms to her, like his littles, for a hug and kiss. He whispered his thanks in her ear and then she left, feeling the need to be with her Donald.
Tim and his dad looked at each other, having one of their silent conversations. When Tim raised an eyebrow, Jethro nodded. "You're right."
Lu smiled at her son, "Artie, Rob and I were staying anyway but thank you!"
Rob leaned forward to hug his brother, smiling a little when Tim kissed him. Then he moved so Artie could sit with Tim.
Before they made the call, Tim asked Artie to find the paper on the kitchen table with the name he remembered being on the top of the page and to bring it back. She quickly returned, handing the paper to Tim. He looked at it, his face once again displaying his pain, anger and grief.
Finally he said, "Vance will need this and it belongs to Ducky, we'll need his permission."
Having left with Artemis to get water for all of them, Lu re-entered the room, hearing what he said. "I told him what you found and that you were calling Leon and he said you have his permission. He asked me to bring him the paper before we send it so he can sign and date it."
Jethro nodded with a half-smile, "That's all they'll need."
Artie brought Tim's laptop and they pinged Leon. Although it was lunchtime, close to 1 PM, Tim thought there had been enough time post-church for him to have eaten lunch.
Leon answered the ping with a smile that quickly turned into a concerned look. "Hello, what's going on? Timothy?"
Tim looked at him, making a gesture with his finger that made his father give a rusty chuckle. Realizing this was something serious, Leon engaged his personal version of the SCIF before returning to the screen, nodding at him.
Taking a deep breath, noticing his chest wasn't as tight as it had been earlier, Tim said, "I'm not physically hurt or sick. I had a shock earlier, a huge shock and realized the agency is or should be involved." Tim gathered his strength, silently asking for courage before continuing, "Probably was involved at one point. It has to do with a sealed file in my record. Now I know more.
"To begin with, the birth date in my file is legal although it is also fictional. It's a long story but I woke up in a hospital when I was somewhere between 5 and 9 years old, not knowing much about myself."
When Vance held up his hand, Tim stopped, knowing that would not be enough. All he'd ever wanted to do was move on and leave his bizarre past behind but now it looked like he'd have to go through everything. He felt his dad's hand on his shoulder.
"Before you woke in the hospital, where were you?"
When his father wrapped an arm around both shoulders, scooting in closer, Tim leaned into him, thanking him, his wife, mother, brother and Leon with a look. Then he took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before exhaling. He did that three times before he sat up straighter, although not enough to dislodge his father's arm around his shoulders. Reaching out, he grabbed one of Artie's hands and one of Malu's and held on.
Finally, he spoke. "I haven't wanted to talk about it but too many people know now and with what I saw today, I don't know how I can avoid it anymore." He sighed and started again, "I guess I've had more than 40 years of anonymity and now has to be the time. If I don't talk about it now, it will only get worse and I might be forced into it. This is hard enough and no one is forcing me."
His mother murmured to him that he didn't have to and Tim nodded, "I know, Mom but I still have nightmares and no matter how much counseling I have, it'll never go away. Whether I talk about it or not, it still happened. All of it, whatever that means." Rolling his shoulders without letting go of anyone's hands, he looked at the director, giving him a slight nod and saying, "Please record this so I won't have to repeat it."
Vance held up his phone and Tim nodded. Taking a deep breath, he began speaking.
"Until today I didn't know with a certainty anything from before the hospital but I did have, still have, bits and pieces of memory. Until today I had no idea what name I was given at birth, only knew a little about the woman who gave birth to me and still have no idea who my father was and nothing about where I lived or when I was born. Now I know how old I was when the thing happened and what date it happened." He stopped again, thinking through what he still needed to say. "Some of what I'm still missing can probably be found online or in law enforcement records if there's a cold case. Before I go any further, I need to tell you how I know the things I learned today."
He waited for the director's nod before continuing. "Ducky believes the start was while we were on our Scandinavian tour in August of 2013, he went to Scotland to visit his cousins, his annual visit. While he was there, they showed him their family trees they'd input to one of the online ancestry sites. At his request, he was entered with a false name and birthday, because he was concerned about the information being online and his work with the RAMC and NCIS. After they'd entered everything, they decided to have their DNA tested. This time, they showed him the various security choices he'd have as far as his DNA being linked to anyone and so he agreed.
"When the results were in, they were attached, sort of, to the family trees they'd built and then they had a lot of matches. After sorting through most of them, they only had one that was a complete mystery, or at least one they presented to Ducky as a complete mystery. Knowing his love of mysteries, they asked him to figure it out and printed a copy of the mystery matches' family tree. They printed everything out for him and put it in a folder. He brought it home and put it with his other papers, not getting around to looking at it until this morning."
He was almost amused when everyone on screen or physically present with him seemed to start to understand although he did not notice that his father and Leon were also reaching another possible and even more surprising conclusion. His mother and wife wondered but continued to listen. Rob's head was spinning with everything he'd heard, he wasn't ready for thinking or jumping to any conclusions.
Continuing, Tim ended by telling them what happened when he saw the page and the names. "I recognized the names of the people I'd lived with, the woman who gave birth to me and her husband. And then I saw my name, I knew it as soon as I saw it. At birth I was named Jeffrey Andrew Langston and I was born November 15, 1978. I have been missing since February 10th, 1981, when I was 27 months old."
He stopped to take a breath before continuing, "That makes sense to me because I've always known that the day things happened, I could walk and run without crashing into anything and could speak fairly coherently. I remember being rocked in someone's arms and that same someone singing a song to me. I remember three big people, the man who was there sometimes and the man who took care of me when he was there. I believe only the woman lived with me all the time."
Taking another deep breath, he slowly exhaled before saying, "I've always believed I was sold or given up when I was very young, probably around 2 and now I know I was right as far as my age. I knew how to walk and talk. I also knew how to count, how high I don't know, could recite the alphabet and a few other things. When Jack and Ellanne were born, I tracked what they did and when and their development and ages meshes with what I know about my own status before I was taken. Although I've always thought I was around two, tracking our children as they approached their second birthdays and in the months following has confirmed that.
"In my mind, I call the time 'before'. Before, I remember living in a place, a house, with someone I believe was the woman who gave birth to me. There was also a man who was there sometimes. He had colorful things on his shirts and jackets. He also had a hat I was allowed to play with. Aside from the hat, I don't remember any other interaction with him. Not being talked to, picked up, kissed or cuddled. I do remember the other person doing all that with me and she sang to me about a baby owl.
"I have bits of memory about what happened when I was taken, there was someone I knew and with whom I was comfortable, a man who took care of me. I woke up in a place I'd never seen before, it wasn't where I was supposed to be and the person I knew wasn't there. I was with people I didn't know and I never saw the man who took me, the woman who lived with me or the man who was sometimes there ever again.
"Later, it might have been that same day, I remember being hungry and wanting to go home. I was fed and told this was now my home. That was the beginning of 'after'.
"I was in a place with several people who called me Johnny. I told them that wasn't my name, so I've known ever since that it wasn't my birth name, and they said they'd changed my name and it was now Johnny. When they took me to a room and said it was mine, I found a few toys, picture books, crayons, coloring books and coloring paper but nothing that was mine. I was scared, I remember crying and probably cried myself to sleep. I wanted my mama.
"When I woke, I heard people talking outside the room I was in and one of them said, 'He's a baby, too little to remember anything, he'll forget all about his real name, his mother and everything else.'
"That made me mad, I didn't like these people and I'd show them I wasn't a baby! And that was another reason to think I was at least two as all of the children in the family who've joined us before they were two have announced they were no longer babies when they had their 2nd birthdays. Jackson and Ellanni were first, and Chloe was just two when she and Liam came to live with us and she said that several times. I also remember MacKenna and Jasper each saying that.
"Anyway, when I heard the people call me a baby, I took a piece of paper and a black crayon and I wrote something, I think it's supposed to be my name, my birth name, I haven't had a chance to look at it since seeing my name on the mystery family tree. I wrote it the best I knew how and then drew a picture of my mama's face with a baby owl on her shoulder. Somehow I knew what my owl should look like. The man who was at the house sometimes sailed on a big boat and I'd seen it, so I put the boat in the picture. I didn't know the name but knew it started with a 'U' and then 'SS' so I added that and the hat I was allowed to play with. I folded up the paper and hid it under my shirt.
"They didn't start doing things to me until what I think was the third day after I woke up there. When I woke that morning, they didn't let me eat, which is why I remember it. They poked me, stuck me with needles, and asked me a lot of questions. Everything hurt, I remember screaming and kicking and then I couldn't move anymore and I was terrified. I was allowed to sleep when they finished. When I woke, they fed me mushy stuff that I threw up. Back in my room, I had more books to look at and my coloring books and someone gave me a plush animal, a lamb I called Edward. I think I had a plushy animal before that I called Edward."
When Tim stopped to take a breath, Leon managed to ask a question that wasn't directly about what happened. Instead, he raised an eyebrow, "You said you haven't yet had a chance to look at your original drawing. Then you still have it?"
Tim nodded, "Yes, I still have my original drawing but the crayon is badly smeared and the letters are illegible, I can't tell what they are. I kept it in a plastic bag before I finally framed it. Shall I continue?"
At Vance's nod, Tim took a deep breath, relaxing slightly at the shoulder rub from his father. "I don't know how long I was with them. I believe I was either unconscious or asleep, kept sedated much of the time. I knew the days of the week and the months of the year and sometimes days would be all jumbled. I'd go to sleep on a Tuesday and wake up on a Monday, or so they said. Now I think it was easier for them, and for me, to be sedated while they did whatever they did. I'd wake up and there would be big bandages on my stomach, chest, legs, back, head or arms and sometimes I had what I was told were called stitches. One time I couldn't see anything, that lasted for a long time. I always hurt. Several times I had a rash all over my body that I didn't remember having before I went to sleep. A few times all my hair was gone, they told me it fell out but would grow back. My head hurt all the time and by that I mean I had headaches. I'd beg them to stop hurting me, that I hadn't been bad and they'd tell me it would be better soon.
"I remember there were about 10 of them, they were never all there at the same time or not when I was awake and they changed their appearance if they'd been gone for a time. I believe there was a core group of about 10 big people, what I know now was a mix of men and women. They used different names for themselves and sometimes wouldn't remember what my fake name was supposed to be. They called me Stevie, Tommy, Billy, Marty, Bobby, Little Guy, Big Guy, one person called me Scooby Doo. So I've known that Stevie, Tommy, Billy, Marty or Bobby were not my birth names either. They told me my mother gave me to them and someone else told me my mother was dead. I didn't know what that meant but I remember him saying that. That particular big person was always mean, he'd pinch me when I cried.
"We moved a lot, usually when I was asleep. I'd wake up and we'd be in a different place. We stayed in houses, I always had a room to myself and there were other rooms I was never allowed to enter. I don't think they lived there with me but I'm not sure about that. I didn't and still don't know where we were, where we moved to. It could have been anywhere in the U.S. or I suppose Canada or Mexico, although I don't remember being especially cold or people wearing lots of jackets, being really hot or people speaking different languages. The language was always familiar and I only knew how to speak English, so I don't think we left the US.
"There was a man who took care of me. I never knew his real name but I called him 'Ken'. That was something about Superman and Clark Kent but I couldn't get the 't' right, so I called him Ken. He played with me, made sure I ate and that the food stayed down, bathed and clothed me, put something on my rashes to make them go away, cut my hair when I had any and taught me how to read, how to write legibly and everything I could soak up about mathematics and science. He was always there when I woke from one of their experiments on me. Eventually I realized that when he'd tell me he had to leave it meant they were going to do something bad to me. But he always came back and that was a comfort.
"He was nice, he'd hold me when I was scared, which was most of the time, and hurting, which was also most of the time. Sometimes I was allowed to play outside as long as Ken was there. Once there was even a dog who played with me. Ken was the one who put my drawing into a clear plastic bag, the kind you use for food storage, so it wouldn't get any more rumpled than it was. Until I transferred from Norfolk to the MCRT, I carried it with me every day.
"As I said, I don't know how long they had me but for me it was my whole life. I remember my pants being too short and then they weren't, so I must have grown taller and was given longer pants. One day when I woke, I was in the hospital I spoke of earlier. I was told that someone had dropped me off and left. I'd been in a coma when I was dropped off and it had been three weeks since then.
"They asked me all kinds of questions but I couldn't remember anything much. I said my name might be Johnny or Billy, those were the only two names I could remember at the time. When they asked me how old I was, I had no idea.
"They explained that they would need to put me through some tests, nothing that would hurt me, so they could tell how old I was. They were nice people, I could see their faces, none of them hurt me. When I had to have a shot, someone would hold my hand and talk to me while another person gave me the shot. They kept their promises, nothing hurt, and there was someone to help me when I had bad dreams, the nightmares I still have. I wasn't scared of any of them and I remember laughing sometimes.
"With the tests, they asked me questions and gave me word tests and math equations to solve, which was fun, I liked that! When I was stronger, I also got to run, jump and play, catch a ball, things like that and I also found those things fun.
"From those tests, the doctors concluded that my intellectual abilities put me at about 9 years of age but that physically they believed I was closer to 5. They said they had to put something in my records and decided I could be 6 ½ and figured out from that what to put as my birth date, which then became my birthday. I believe their thought process was that once I started school, I could skip grades but that it would be better to give me a younger age because of my physical abilities.
"When they told me I could choose my name, I chose Adam Ward because in the hospital I watched reruns of Batman on TV and loved Batman and Robin. One of my nurses told me that Batman was played by someone named Adam West and Robin was played by someone named Burt Ward, although what she said was that Batman's real name was Adam West and not Bruce Wayne, and the same thing for Robin. That made me feel good, to have their names because I knew they were good guys and I felt safe whenever I watched them. I used to hope they would come get me and take me back to my mama.
"When no one came for me at the hospital I was put into foster care. I'm sure there were legalities to be dealt with but I wouldn't have needed to know any of that. I have stories about foster care but overall it was better than before. My headaches were gone, my hair stopped falling out, I didn't have any more rashes or stitches and nobody hurt me. I still got moved a lot, from one foster home to another but at least I was awake when my case worker moved me and the days and weeks didn't get all jumbled up. I also went to school and met other kids. However, I never stayed anywhere very long. Sometimes that was a good thing but mostly I would rather have stayed. Although no one hurt me, I was tired of not belonging anywhere or with anyone and being moved around." He stopped, thirsty, mutely thanking his dad for the bottle of water he handed him.
After he'd had a few sips, Vance gestured to him to continue and Tim managed a smile as he remembered everything he'd done to prepare to escape foster care. He relaxed a little as he began talking again. This part was easier.
"After my first few moves from foster family to foster family, I decided to leave foster care and go to school on my own, take care of myself. It took me almost three years and a lot of preparation, especially coming up with enough money to escape. I did that by tutoring the kids in my classes who didn't understand what we were being taught. They paid me with their allowances and I saved everything. I also did chores around the neighborhood wherever I stayed. If there were gardens, I'd offer to weed them or to help plant them. I learned a lot about plants, weeds and everything else doing that as most of my customers were older and taught me more about life, at least how life should be. I learned how to do things right, how not to get sloppy or eventually I'd end up pulling more weeds. I was happy being around my customers, I liked the feeling of belonging. After leaving the hospital, it was the only time I belonged to anyone and that was a big comfort.
"Although I was younger than the required age, thanks to one of my gardening customers I was allowed to participate in Webelos, the scout rank prior to Cub Scouts, and learned how to do several useful things including tracking and knowing the constellations. Another item was learning how to sew by hand. After that, I figured out how to make a money belt to hold my savings. I didn't, still don't, like to keep coins because they make too much noise and weighed me down. Those I kept were put into a jar and when I had enough, I rolled them in paper holders, took them to a bank and had them converted to dollar bills. I also used the libraries, wherever I lived, to figure out where to go when I left and what I'd need to take with me.
"When I heard someone talking about camping, I thought that was what I needed, something to sleep in, clothes to change into, things like that. I made lists that I always kept with me, and started researching camping. Looking at camping information led me to backpacking information and that was the concept I used from then on. I shopped at discount stores, thrift stores and flea markets, looking for everything I'd need. It took me months to find things, like my sleeping bag, that I could afford. I had a budget every month, so much for the bus ticket I'd buy, so much to buy the things I needed.
"I had a friend at school, I'll call him Bruce because he was also a big fan of Batman, who was also a foster kid and he told and taught me about several things. We were actually at school together twice, in two states. During my years in foster care, I'd convinced one set of foster parents to let me take a self-defense class, saying it would help fend off bullies, which was true. I liked the class and practiced routinely even after I was moved again. Bruce also helped me make a shiv, a homemade knife, and taught me how to use it in close quarters as well as how to throw it. He also taught me the basics of fighting."
When Gibbs frowned at that, Tim paused but Dad tilted his head to continue.
"When I was 9 I had almost all the money and nearly all the equipment I needed to leave foster care. While my ultimate goal was to find my mother, by then I knew I'd have to finish school and grow up so I wouldn't be put back into foster care and because no adult had ever listened to me or done anything about what had happened, except for the hospital people and they did everything they were allowed to do. Until I was older, leaving foster care, finding a place to live and going to school on my own were my priorities.
"My biggest expense would be travel and for that, I decided to take the bus, or maybe a series of buses that would take me to my target city. My goal was a big city as far from my present foster home, in the Northwest, as possible. I'd also need to bring enough food and drink for the bus ride. Studying the routes, I also realized I needed to take the coast-to-coast routes as those buses had restrooms in them.
"I was happy when I found a travel magazine in the library with handy tips for long distance travelers. Then I added juice boxes, a thermos for water and moist wipes to my list of must haves. I would carry everything in a big backpack with pockets for things like the moist wipes and other items needed every day.
"I made a list of what I would need and did a great deal of preparation. The city I was staying in then was big enough to have several thrift stores and two flea markets and that's where I bought almost everything. That was the city where Bruce and I were in school together for the second time and he occasionally helped me, telling me if he saw something he thought I'd need and sometimes he'd go with me to the thrift stores and flea markets. Flea markets were my favorite places because people sold new and used things and you could bargain with the sellers.
"I was careful not to buy too much at any one store or flea market vendor and a couple of times at the flea markets I had to pretend that my father was on the next aisle over. It took me months but I finally had everything I needed, including a backpack to hold everything.
"I was lucky that my then current foster parents both worked, as I did most of my trip planning and shopping after school and on weekends while they ran errands or worked overtime. Sometimes I went with them if they ran errands because they always asked if I wanted to go and I was afraid they'd get suspicious if I always said no. And I liked them.
"After school and whenever they weren't home I practiced rolling the sleeping bag tight and small enough to fit into my pack and as I gathered other supplies, I also practiced putting everything into the pack. Bruce is a little older and helped me to think things through, like where would I live when I left foster care and where would I get food to eat on the way to wherever I was going, what name would I use so the foster people wouldn't be able to track me, how would I have money to eat and buy clothes once I arrived at my destination. That one was easy, I planned to continue doing the tutoring, yard work and maybe washing cars, although I'd need a step stool for that as I was still short.
"We decided on a few things, I would change my name because Adam Ward was known to CPS and Social Services but I wouldn't tell my friend my new name in case anyone from Social Services asked him about me. I didn't want him to have to lie. We also decided I would go as far from the states where we'd lived as I could afford and I'd go in the summer so I could sleep out.
"When I saw something about homeless shelters in the newspaper, I decided to try to find what cities had those. By then, I'd also visited the bus station and saw how much fares were to various places. I also figured out how things worked there; you stood in a line for groups of destinations and bought a ticket. I figured out how much money I could spend on my ticket and then remembered that the library had phone books for some state capitals.
"I went to the main branch, where they wouldn't know me, and found the phone books for five state capitals on the East Coast and a few of the biggest cities in those states and looked for phone numbers for shelters. From what I could find, Baltimore had three listed while the others had two, one or none. I wrote down the addresses and phone numbers, feeling much better about having a place to stay once I got to my new location.
"During the months before my 10th birthday, Bruce and I decided I was ready. I had enough money for my ticket, food and to stay at one of the shelters, knew how to take care of myself, even in defense. Then the best opportunity for escape I'd had so far presented itself.
"The week after school was out, my current foster parents, where I'd been for the entire school year, which was a first, were going backpacking, which I thought was hilarious, for 3 weeks. While they were gone I would be moved to a different foster family for the duration although I was sure it would be permanent. My foster parents were older, their own children were grown and gone. They'd had fosters before but not for years and when I overheard them talking about retiring, I knew I'd be moved again soon."
He paused for another drink of water, noticing Dad had his notepad out with a few questions and that Rob was no longer in the room with them. Swallowing the water, he continued, "Having studied their handwriting, I wrote my case worker and the other foster family, copying my current foster mother's handwriting because she was lefthanded, same as me. The notes said my foster parents had changed their minds and were taking me backpacking with them after all and thanked them.
"A few days before they left and before I mailed the letters, I asked to have my hair cut, saying I wanted to look good for the new family and it would help keep me from getting too hot during the summer. My foster parents agreed and I was treated not only to a haircut but also to new clothes and shoes, including a new parka for winter and a pair of sneakers. I thought maybe my departing foster parents didn't want to look bad to the social worker or the other family.
"I mailed the letters the morning they left on their trip. My case worker was supposed to be there to move me before my foster parents left but they were worried about the drive to wherever they were going and I convinced them they didn't have to wait, telling them I was packed, I'd leave the key to the house in the secret hiding place and I'd be all right for a couple of hours.
"After their car backed out of the driveway, I waited a few minutes in case they returned for something they'd forgotten. Then I re-packed, moving more of what I might need on the bus either to the pockets or to the top of the pack. The money for the bus went into a small cloth bag, another one I made, which was then attached with a safety pin inside a pocket of my jeans. Once that was done, I took the letters to the mail box on the corner. I'd had the same caseworker for the last few moves and she was always late so I wasn't worried about her checking the bus station for me. The bus I planned to take would leave before she'd likely get to the house.
"By now I knew where I was going, all the way across the country to the city of Baltimore, in the state of Maryland. I had figured out the man with the white hat and all the shiny stuff on his jacket was probably in the Navy, I'd seen people who looked similar, with medals and ribbons on their shirts and jackets, on TV and in magazines. From the research I did at the library I knew that Bethesda was a Naval hospital, not just anyone could be a patient, so I'd start there. I'd already planned to go to Baltimore because it was as far as I could afford to go and still have enough money for food and a place to stay, they had shelters, when I got there.
"My pack was stuffed full with everything I was taking, all my clothes, including the new parka, boots, the sleeping bag, two additional blankets I'd found in the garbage and washed twice. Everything was rolled up as tightly as possible, I'd been practicing for months. I took the blankets to sell, along with as much of my old clothes as I could fit in the pack and a little sewing kit. I was sure I wouldn't need four blankets and would need a heavy jacket and also added a lighter one. I folded up several large black garbage bags, thinking I could put them on the ground and my sleeping bag on top of them if the ground was wet. I could cover the pack with them, too.
"I had more than a dozen peanut butter and butter sandwiches that I'd made, wrapped, put them in the freezer until I was ready to leave and then in a separate bag within the pack, along with the thermos full of water, 2 bags of cookies I found in the freezer, some fresh fruit and as many juice boxes as I could carry. I'd read a lot about backpacking and also purchased vitamins. I'd made a list of those I needed and found them all packaged together, on sale 2 for the price of 1."
Pausing for a long drink of water from another bottle, this one handed him by his mother, Tim noticed his last comment had amused his listeners.
"I also took a few cans of food that could be eaten without heating, along with an old fork and spoon from the back of the silverware drawer. I already had a pocket knife, Bruce gave it to me, a can opener and a bowl, got them at a flea market. The thermos had a drinking cup that screwed on at the top so I didn't need to bring a separate cup.
"I wrote a note on nice stationary, again in my foster mother's handwriting, that gave me permission to travel by bus to my grandparents in Maryland. I listed a phone number with a Maryland area code that I found in the library. Bruce recommended that when needing a phone number, to use one for a business that wouldn't be open on a weekend or in the evening, that could help your chances of not being found out. At the library, I used the microfiche, searching a Baltimore newspaper for ads for businesses, and found one that posted their business hours as Monday through Friday, 9 AM to 5 PM and I used their phone number on my note.
"Then I looked at real estate ads in that newspaper for an address on an actual street in Baltimore, another idea from my friend. When I found one that was listed as 'empty and ready for new owners!', which even at the age of 9 seemed like asking for trouble, I wrote the address down in my note, with the correct zip code. Those were the most difficult items to find but once I added them into the note, I felt pretty good. I liked doing the research although it took too long."
Pausing for more water and a longer break, Tim managed a half smile at the chuckles from his wife, parents, brother and Vance at his last remark. Finally, he continued.
"I also had a wig that I found. I washed it a few times, combed and cut it a little and after I left the house with everything, I went into the backyard, took out the wig which had nearly black hair and carefully covered my recently cut short blond hair. Then I took a blue baseball cap I'd found and put it on over the wig. I didn't normally wear baseball caps and after finding that one, never wore one again, at least not as a child. I'd also found a pair of kid's glasses. They must have been a very light prescription because I didn't need glasses but could see all right with them. I also bought another pair and those were sunglasses. Now, if anyone looked for me, which I doubted, the glasses, wig and baseball cap would help me go unnoticed.
"My cash was still in the homemade money belt and I only had a few coins, enough for something from a vending machine. Over the time since I started planning my escape, I'd made enough money for everything I bought plus enough for the bus ticket with money left over to live on for a month or more, if I was careful. I also planned not to eat all the food I was taking with me on the bus so I wouldn't be hungry my first few days in Baltimore.
"Taking a shortcut, I was happy as I walked the three miles to the bus station, excited about finally making my escape! I was also nervous and a little scared but when I touched the shiv, safely wrapped and hidden where I could quickly get to it, I felt better. I really was on my way, although I wished that Bruce was going with me. I was used to being alone but he'd been really good to me, my first friend, and I missed him already.
"I didn't have any problems buying my ticket, the lines were long and the ticket seller barely looked up so he probably wouldn't remember me. I was really happy when the guy sold me a ticket for kids under the age of 12 without asking. I knew about the cheaper tickets but didn't want to ask, afraid the ticket seller would remember me. After I got the ticket, I used the men's room to put the change away and to make sure everything was where I needed it to be.
"When I boarded the bus, I found an empty seat toward the back, next to a teenage boy wearing headphones and listening to something on a portable cassette player-radio. The guy looked up, nodding to me. I was very happy to find someone who wasn't an adult, I didn't trust any of them, and he likely wouldn't bother me. I hoped he would ride all the way to Baltimore.
"The trip took three long days but I was prepared. I re-read two of my favorite books, played an old handheld game I bought at the flea market and wrote in my journal. My seatmate was named Chris and was not only riding all the way to Baltimore, he was continuing beyond. He'd lived in Baltimore and told me some places to see and things to do and also warned me of several dangerous places. I wrote everything down in my journal.
"We traded places a few times every day so we each had the window seat. We also watched each other's stuff when we had to use the washroom. On the second day when I noticed Chris's face and arms were damp, I also took a 'sink bath' the next time I went, changing my clothes and saving the moist wipes for later. I paid for my share of the food that Chris bought at our stops, happy to eat cheeseburgers, fries and sodas as well as the fresh fruit and milk he purchased. One time he brought back a container of cut and peeled carrots and we ate those, it felt good to crunch on something. Another time, he brought apples. I also took my daily vitamins and shared them with him. When Chris would go for our food and there weren't many people on the bus, I'd walk and run up and down the aisle to get some exercise. I never got off the bus at our stops, I was afraid I'd be caught or left behind. Because Chris kept buying food, the food I brought with me would last longer and I also saved more fruit and bottled water for later.
"When Chris told me his name, I implemented my plan of adopting a new name. From the time I'd been in the hospital, I'd been called Adam Ward and it was the name they used for me in foster care. Now I introduced myself as Tim. It still wasn't my real name but I liked it, still do. It felt friendly and real and it had a longer version, Timothy. On our way across country, I studied all the billboards, road signs and city names and picked a last name, McGee, from a billboard advertising a mortuary. Now I'd have a new life with a new name, one that wouldn't be on any lists for escaped foster kids.
"While we hadn't talked about why we were traveling or anything else personal, when I got off the bus in Baltimore Chris shook my hand, passing me a note with $100 in small bills wrapped in the paper. The small bills would make it easier to spend without anyone seeing how much money I had. The note said to be careful, to hide the money, to never let anyone see it and to be safe, that there was a homeless camp near the bus station that was safe for kids and a homeless shelter a few blocks from there run by a very nice lady, Ms. Lu." Tim stopped to grin at his mother, who leaned in to kiss him. "I was glad to know that as it was the one I'd planned to go to. Chris had even drawn a little map from the bus station to both places. The money he gave me was a lot more than what I'd paid him for the food. As it turned out, it was a good thing he was so generous. Before I got up to leave, I dug out my money pouch and put all but $10 in it, then tucked that $10 in my sock, another trick Bruce told me about.
"When I was leaving the bus, the driver asked me to do him a favor. I looked back at Chris and saw him leaning into the aisle watching me. He gave me a nod, so I asked the bus driver what the favor was. I was suspicious and a little afraid but I listened while the driver explained there was a little girl aboard that he was supposed to escort to the waiting room and to her guardian. However, the bus was late getting into Baltimore, held up by an accident, and the driver wanted to push on to Raleigh as quickly as possible, otherwise his pay might be docked. He gave me $20 dollars and then I turned to find a tiny girl with curly hair standing behind me. I smiled at her as the driver said her name was Sarah. I held out my hand, she took it and I helped her climb down the steps of the bus.
"Holding onto her and her suitcase, which had four wheels that went in every direction and kept falling over, I managed to get both of us into the waiting room where we sat on a bench to wait for her guardian. Sarah said she was three.
"We sat for a long time but nobody came to claim her and she didn't know what her new guardian looked like or what his or her name was. She said she had it on a piece of paper but we couldn't find it in her little backpack or her suitcase. Her name wasn't on either one either.
"When we were both hungry, I gave her half of a peanut butter sandwich, that was all she wanted and a juice box and she said that filled her up. When I opened my pack for the food, I found Chris's headphones and cassette player with another note attached, 'Sell these and keep the money but hide it. Be safe, little brother!'
"While we waited, I noticed a kid, older than me but not as old as Chris, who looked like he was making the rounds of the bus depot. I saw the kid pick up a coin from the floor and stuff it in his pocket and look at us hungrily when we were eating our peanut butter sandwiches. Considering the extra money I'd made that day, I gave the kid one of my sandwiches, an orange and a juice box. Then we watched as the kid tore the sandwich into 4 parts and stuffed all 4 pieces in his pockets while he slowly ate the orange and sipped at the juice box.
"Finally, he sat down on the bench with us and said, 'I know a place you can stay if no one comes for you.'
"I looked at him for a long time before deciding to trust him. It was grownups I didn't trust. I thought about it and finally said that no one was coming for me but that someone was supposed to come for Sarah. Then I explained about the driver's rush to leave, although I didn't mention the money, any money.
"Sarah smiled and the other kid smiled back at her, asking how long we'd been waiting. I looked at the clock on the wall and said, 'Three hours and 17 minutes.'
"The kid nodded, saying, 'The station closes in an hour but there are only two more buses that will come in before then. If you want to wait, I'll tell you where my place is.' I didn't want to wait anymore and told him so, saying that Sarah could come with me. I didn't think Sarah's guardian was arriving by bus; the driver hadn't said that. Later I realized he could mean the guardian was expecting Sarah to be on one of the later buses but by then it was too late.
"The kid nodded and helped me move Sarah, her suitcase, backpack and my pack out of the station. We walked about a block before the kid said, 'My name is Geordie.' I told him our names, Tim and Sarah. When he asked what Sarah's last name, she didn't know so I said it could be McGee.
"Sarah's wheeled suitcase fell over so often that Geordie finally picked it up and carried it by the handle, asking if she was related to me and I said no.
"Then he asked if I was going to foster care and I said, 'No way!'
"He said that was good because it was really bad in Baltimore and then asked if I would take care of Sarah.
"I said I guessed I would, that I'd say she was my little sister and then asked if that was okay.
"He said that it was and that he wouldn't say anything. He said there were a bunch of kids that lived in a homeless camp run by a 'big guy' and his sister and they did their best to keep the kids safe. But to stay there the kids had to go to school, do their homework and study, not get into any fights or hang around with people that Nate, the big guy, didn't like. Geordie said he lived in a tent with three other kids that were his age, Barry, Jose and Freddie and that they were all 13.
"I said I was 9, almost 10 and didn't have a problem following rules like that. Then I asked if the schools were close enough to walk to.
"He said yes, they were only a few blocks and that there was a center for little kids, like a nursery, next to it, and that Sarah could go there while I was in school. But they'd just started their summer vacation, wouldn't go back until September.
"I asked him about libraries and he said there was a library on the way to school, that he'd show me. Then he said that right then he would take me to Nate and introduce me. He said Nate might have an empty tent for us to sleep in but if he didn't, Sarah and I could stay with Nate's sister Juanita in her tent. She looked really scary, and so did Nate but she was nice to little kids and she'd like that I was taking care of Sarah. He said not to ever lie to either of them, that if I couldn't say the truth to just be quiet, not to say anything and they'd understand.
"I remember looking at him with a blank face and he grinned at me, my first Geordie grin. He said they wouldn't ask me anything that I couldn't answer with the truth.
"I asked if the place was safe and he said that it was most of the time, that it was a city park so there was a restroom. If Nate felt there might be trouble, he'd have the kids stay in the restroom and lock the door from inside. There were, still are, lights so they did their homework in there. Then he said that if it was too cold in the winter, Nate would take us over to the homeless shelter.
"Then Geordie gave me kind of a fierce look before saying he was going to tell me some things I needed to know and that I should just listen. His advice was 'If you have money, always keep it hidden, always and never tell anyone! It's okay to share food with people you trust but don't ever let anyone know you have any extra, or any food at all. I promise I won't tell anyone you gave me food and I'll make sure no one sees me eat the sandwich. Don't trust any of the big teenagers or any adults except Nate, Juanita, Big John, he lives at the camp, and Ms. Lu at the homeless shelter and Bill. He used to live at the camp until he graduated from high school and became an apprentice to a building contractor. He lived in our tent and worked part-time but when he started working full-time, his boss had him move into a little apartment upstairs from their garage.
"Geordie also said that Bill helped them when he could, either with food or money. He also said that at Christmas, Bill and Ms Lu took them to her house for a whole meal, only she made them eat it in bits and pieces so they wouldn't get sick from eating too much at once," Tim shook his head, "Geordie told me to also get used to that, to eat slowly and not all at once, otherwise I'd throw it all up." Blinking, he continued, "He also told me that Ms. Lu would cut their hair, let them have hot showers, washed all their clothes and repaired rips and tears, gave them new underwear, sweaters, shirts, pants, jackets and socks she made for them and then they went to a movie! He said we could trust Bill and Ms. Lu but that Bill worked all the time in the summer so I might not meet him until the weather got cold.
"Geordie had more advice about who I could trust and who I couldn't. He said I still shouldn't tell anyone where I'd been or what had happened until I knew them really well, maybe not even then. And if I could find an adult who would sign us into the shelter every afternoon, it opens at 5 in the summer and 4 in the winter, then to stay there, they'd be our shelter parent. He said to find a lady, the men's side might be bad for Sarah and also for me.
"He said the shelter had cots, fans in the summer, heat in the winter, showers, served breakfast and sometimes dinner. He was too old to stay there anymore and even if he could, he'd have to stay on the men's side and there were too many creeps over there, he was safer at Nate's. He also told us not to ever ask anyone where they were from or why they were at the shelter, camp or anywhere else.
"I agreed with everything he said. Except for the specifics about the camp and the shelter, Geordie's advice described my life. I never told anyone anything I didn't absolutely have to, never trusted adults and by necessity had become a skilled liar, even letting people think I was horrible at lying so I could continue whatever I was doing."
As he finished narrating the story of his early life and his escape from foster care, he sat back on the sofa, again rolling his neck and shoulders. He relaxed as his father again rubbed his neck and shoulders and then smiled at his wife, who was visibly relieved that he was done.
Noticing his mother was gone, he looked at Artie who smiled, "Peter brought the children home so she went to say hello, tell them everything is all right and they could see us later, she took them for a walk on the beach. Rob left earlier, to check on Ducky and Yaya."
When Dad nodded in confirmation, Tim relaxed, although he was sure Vance had questions and he was right.
Vance raised an eyebrow, "How long were you there? Did you try to find your family?"
"I didn't and don't know where we lived when I was taken, what my name was, although as of today I know that, or where I'd been during my captivity. And the Baltimore libraries didn't have any newspapers from around the country that were that old, not even on microfiche.
"Sarah and I stayed at the camp for 3 weeks after our arrival. Then we met a woman with a little boy younger than Sarah and in exchange for me taking care of him, that's our Rob, she agreed to sign us into the shelter every day. She didn't make it every day, she had drug and alcohol problems but we were mostly at the shelter until I was 12, then she stopped coming at all and we never saw her again.
"So we moved back to the camp and stayed there until I graduated from Johns Hopkins University, turned 18, Ms. Lu adopted me and I legally became Timothy Camilo-McGee. She adopted each of us as we turned 18, legal adults as far as adoptions are concerned, so none of us would have to answer questions or have home inspections and to keep her from getting into trouble with her shelter bosses.
"After the adoption and my name change, Rob, Sarah and I moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts, to attend MIT. Once we were settled in Cambridge, I became legal guardian of Sarah and Rob replacing Geordie. Malu told us she was going to stop using her former married name and start using her family name, Camilo, so I started using it right away. I was relieved to finally be able to make my name, Timothy McGee, legal after 8 years and it was easy to add 'Camilo' at the same time. Eventually we all used Camilo, although I continued using McGee at school and work and some of my brothers continued using their established surnames or hyphenating them."
He smiled at his dad, "As far as Sarah and Rob, we've always referred to me adopting them but we knew Lu would adopt them when they turned 18, so instead I became their legal guardian. Geordie became ours, that is mine, Sarah's and Rob's, when he turned 18, so I didn't really have to be Sarah and Rob's but by that time Geo was finishing college and would go on to Officers' Candidate School and he and I decided it was better they have a local guardian in case of emergency."
Dad nodded, "That was good thinking."
Tim again relaxed although he had mixed feelings and concerns about what Vance might want to do next. Artie leaned in for a kiss, excusing herself. She knew enough about Tim's work to realize that he, Jethro and Vance would probably need to talk about what to do next and although she and the rest of the household would be affected, she didn't especially want to hear the plans ahead of time.