Zombieman and Flashy Flash. Name a more iconic duo. Go on, I'll wait. Everyone knows these two. They're thick as thieves! Two peas in a pod! Two brothers from other mothers!
...
...
...
Not very convincing, is it? Honestly, you'd be hard-pressed to find two people who don't get along more than these two. Sure, they had a shared annoyance toward their colleague Metal Bat. But apart from that one exception, the pair had nothing in common.
Yet, both men were next to each other outside the House of Evolution. Zombieman leaned against the wall with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Flashy Flash stood a few feet from him but still closer than anyone would've expected. They stayed like this, silent, ever since their arrival. The only noise between them was the flickering of Zombieman's cigarette.
Eventually, this unusually calm moment between the two couldn't go on. Zombieman, losing to his curiosity, needed to understand why this was happening. Thus, the first words were spoken.
"...You're wanting to taunt me, aren't you?" Zombieman asked while breathing in a puff from his smoke. "You want to point out how out of control Mosquito Girl was or how I failed to apprehend the non-human." He said, followed by an exhale.
"I did. I won't deny that." Flashy Flash answered, being his usual blunt self. "However, there's something that's caught my attention after getting all of the information sorted." He revealed.
"And it involves me?" Zombieman questioned, assuming that was the reason for the ninja's company.
"Mosquito Girl believed that you were hunting Sonic. There's no discrepancy there. But the reason for WHY you were doing so is what's intriguing." Flashy Flash stated.
"The lie," Zombieman responded, knowing what he meant. "I told Mosquito Girl that Sonic had been humiliated by Fubuki and her team. If I hadn't, she would've lost her damn mind since she's One Punch Man's ultimate fan. She would've made us walk around Ghost Town into the dead of night. It was to spare myself and Kombu of that crap." He explained.
"An understandable reason." Flashy Flash began, now looking at the undead man. "However, because of that lie, things have turned out the way they have. Had you simply been honest with her, Mosquito Girl wouldn't have immediately attacked the non-human. She might've thought the scenario strange, but she wouldn't have tried to assist Fubuki under the belief that she was being confronted by her assassin." He told him.
"..." Zombieman stayed quiet. This fact wasn't new to him, but he didn't know how to reply. So, he'd let the ninja keep flapping his lips to see where this was headed.
"Initially, my assumptions about you being an unfit instructor were due to personal feelings and opinions. But after today, my stance on your ability to serve as an instructor to any recruits, non-human or otherwise, is influenced by your performance. As such, I'll be sharing my grievances and concerns with our leader to-"
FWOOSH
With impressive speed, given that he wasn't known for it, Zombieman brandished his axe and held it above Flashy Flash's head. The blade was scarily close to the ninja's golden locks, yet he showed no fear. Furthermore, he showed no reaction. The only thing that happened was a brief pause in Flashy Flash's words since the axe's appearance interrupted him.
"...Prevent you from shaming us, him, and the Association." Flashy Flash resumed speaking, finishing his prior statement.
"If I had done anything wrong, One Punch Man would've already said something." Zombieman was quick to say. He maintained the axe's position, ready to strike this bastard.
"You know our leader as I do. He's kind, understanding, and patient. Likely, he hasn't brought this up because he doesn't want you to feel bad about one mistake." Flashy Flash reasoned, followed by a smirk appearing on his face. "However, if another member of our rank were to express concerns, at the very least, there would be a discussion. And if we were to involve Doctor Genus, I'm sure he'd have a lot to say about your temperament and fittingness as an instructor." He remarked.
Oh, this son of a bitch. Zombieman's hand gripped his weapon's shaft tighter. Both men's eyes were locked. A staredown. If this were to escalate, they'd wait for the other one to-
Schick
The automated front doors of the facility opened. Instantly, Flashy Flash and Zombieman were back in a neutral state. The ninja stood with his arms folded and eyes closed. The immortal detective smoked his cigarette with his hands in his pockets.
"Hey, guys." Saitama greeted the pair with a friendly smile. "Whatcha doin out here?" He asked.
For a moment, Flashy Flash and Zombieman wondered if their leader was putting on an act with the intent that they'd be honest with him. However, the idea quickly disappeared since they knew One Punch Man wasn't so underhanded or sneaky.
"I don't care much for crowds. Our usual meetings with the rest of S-Class are about as much as I can stand." Flashy Flash answered.
"I needed a smoke. I didn't feel like being around everyone after what happened. And I still don't feel entirely comfortable here." Zombieman answered.
"Yeah. Sorry for dragging you along. I just figured it'd be easier since everyone's going to show up here anyway." Saitama said.
"Please, don't apologize. You didn't drag me here. If I didn't want to come, I wouldn't." Zombieman replied. "Assuming that, if I did, you wouldn't be upset." He added.
"Not at all. I get it. Doctor Genus and everything associated with him brings up bad memories for you." Saitama assured him.
"Speaking of the doctor, how is the non-human?" Flashy Flash inquired
"Stable. But their condition can't improve until we figure out how they work. As a living being, I mean." Saitama told them.
"What about the things Fubuki said?" Zombieman asked.
"Yeah, that's going to be the bulk of what we talk about when the others show up," Saitama answered, followed by a sigh. "Can I confess something to you guys?" He requested.
"Of course." Both men responded in unison.
"I am REALLY hoping this isn't something big..." Saitama started, shoulders slumping. "So much has happened lately. The House of Evolution. The Seafolk. The apartment building's reconstruction and everyone moving in. Non-humans becoming heroes. The construction of the Seafolk's homes in City J. The construction of that new train system for heroes. Training Genos. Wondering where the Deep Sea King went. It's SO much stuff." He said, ending in an exhale.
"Isn't there also going to be a new network meant solely for heroes?" Flashy Flash recalled.
"Yeah. And it'll be run by Captain Mizuki and Mumen Rider." Zombieman confirmed.
Upon saying that, the men witnessed a sudden change in their leader's face. A look of despair. An expression of exhaustion. It's as if someone just sucker-punched him in the stomach and forced all of the air in his lungs out.
"One Punch Man?" Flashy Flash spoke. He and Zombieman shared looks of surprise and worry.
"...I...forgot...about the news network..." Saitama muttered. Slowly, he turned to face the nearby wall; then he hit his face against it. "I need to sit down with Mizuki and Satoru...I need to introduce them to Mosquito Girl and the others..." He realized.
"...Um...not to make things worse for you...but they also need new names..." Zombieman chimed in.
An uncomfortable silence took the air. Saitama, with his face fully pressed against the wall, just seemed to freeze in place. Yet, after a full minute, the broken shell of a man slowly departed and went back into the facility.
"Even when talking to our leader, you manage to make things worse." Flashy Flash sighed in disbelief once One Punch Man was out of earshot.
"One more word, and I'll make you as bald as him." Zombieman threatened, ready to brandish his axe once again.
Later...
As expected, when the call came, S-Class assembled with haste. The Association's best were gathered in one of many rooms Doctor Genus designed for him and his clones when they needed to discuss something at great length and in immense detail. It was different, yet familiar. Comfortable, yet functional. All-in-all, a perfect conference space.
However, no one was focused on the decor, furniture, and overall quality of the room. Every hero's eyes were fixated on their leader who was...in a state. Saitama just sat there at the head of the table, staring down at it. No words, no emotion, just a blink-less gaze.
"...Saitama?" King spoke. In situations like these, there was a silent agreement within S-Class for King to be the speaker. His status as One Punch Man's right-hand man earned him that and then some. "You okay there, bud? You're looking a little...absent." He asked.
"..." Saitama continued staring, seemingly unresponsive. "...I'm just...processing..." He said. Phew. He was still here mentally. At least a little.
"Yeah, I don't blame ya." Bad joined in with a sympathetic smile. "You've been getting so much crap dumped on ya. Even someone as strong as you would get exhausted from all of it." He told him.
"How about this?" Atomic Samurai spoke, getting the attention on him. "After we deal with whatever's come up now, and AFTER the House of Evolution and its members make their proper debut, One Punch Man takes a leave of absence?" He suggested.
"Nah, I couldn't do that. Things would only get crazier, and I couldn't leave you guys to deal with on your own. As the number one hero, I've got responsibilities." Saitama replied.
"True. But a tired mind is already bad enough. We can't have you being physically exhausted. Or, perhaps more accurately, feel as though you are." Bang argued.
"They're right, Baldy." Tatsumaki chimed in, remarkably calmer than she normally was during these meetings. "You should get away. Take a week or two off. Turn off the phones. Block out the sun. Just hide away from the world and let it sort its problems out on their own for a change." She said.
"I concur." Surprisingly, it was Metal Knight who agreed with the Tornado of Terror. As always, a drone was acting as his stand-in. "We've tried to avoid interacting with you as much as possible to give you a breather. Unfortunately, it seems that no matter what we do to try and help you, forces beyond our control are always conspiring to make your life more hectic. At this point, the only solution is to take a vacation." He stated. "Speaking of, when was your last vacation, One Punch Man?" He asked.
...
...
...
"...One Punch Man?" Metal Knight spoke. After voicing his question, the room fell silent. He and the others expected an immediate answer from their leader, only to get nothing.
"..." Saitama stayed quiet. His eyes were still wide, and he continued staring at the table. Yet, his expression was different now, resembling shock.
"...Wait..." King spoke, his mind slowly putting the pieces together. "I've known Saitama the longest...back before he was One Punch Man...and...I don't think he's ever had a vacation..." He said.
...
...
...
"Oh my god..." Tatsumaki muttered in horror. She and the others slowly had the same mortified expression as their leader. "Saitama...you...you've taken breaks, right?..." She inquired. This revelation was so serious it made her use his actual name.
"..." Saitama stayed quiet. He continued staring.
"You...haven't worked every single day for the past three years without a day off, right?..." Tanktop Master questioned.
"I...recently spent the day with Tatsumaki..." Saitama finally responded.
"ALL WE DID WAS WALK AROUND CITY Z!" Tastumaki yelled. She didn't do this to try and deflect any suspicion or attention to her and Saitama's day out. The normality of that experience is what caused the outburst. "SAITAMA! HAVE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT TAKEN A SINGLE DAY OFF?!" She questioned.
"Hey, now!" Saitama exclaimed, feeling the need to defend himself. "We talked about this! I told you how little free time I have!" He reminded her.
"Free time is different from taking an ACTUAL break, moron!" Tatsumaki spat back, returning to her usual "nicknames" for him. "Even Metal Knight or Drive Knight have requested for time off for stuff! Are you seriously saying that not once, not a SINGLE time, you have EVER requested for a break from the Association?!" She asked.
"...The idea never occurred to me..." Saitama answered. His tone was defeated. His mood was depressed. He wasn't joking or lying. That was the sad truth.
Everyone sat in amazement for the next few minutes. This man, their leader, hadn't had an actual break, vacation day, sick day, or ANYTHING in THREE years. With this information, the others were amazed that Saitama hadn't lost his damn mind with everything he had to deal with on a daily basis!
"Okay!" Tatsumaki broke the stunned silence as she slammed her hands onto the table. "Here's what's going to happen! We're going to figure out what's up with this mole man, then YOU are going on vacation!" She asserted.
"I don't think he's a-"
"NO LIP." Tatsumaki interrupted Saitama, now pointing a finger at his face.
"I wasn't-"
"SHH!" Tatsumaki did it again.
In response, Saitama looked at King, wanting to know what he thought and felt about all of this.
"I mean, I agree with her, man." King said, still shocked by this news. "I can't believe you haven't taken a single day off. By choice, that is." He told him.
"And all of you?" Saitama inquired, now looking at the others.
No hesitation. Everyone nodded. The rest of S-Class was BEYOND flabbergasted that Saitama hadn't taken a vacation. Genuinely, they were now seriously worried about his well-being. If this information got out to the public and the rest of the Association, everyone everywhere would be worried about One Punch Man having a mental breakdown. Even if, ignoring his exhaustion, he was perfectly healthy. Emotionally and psychologically.
"Alright. Well. I guess I'm planning a getaway, then." Saitama decided, amazed by how this meeting had started. "But let's push that to the side for later. We need to talk about-"
Saitama stopped mid-sentence. When he looked at his fellow S-Class heroes, he noticed there were three empty seats. Obviously, Blast was one of them. Puri-Puri Prisoner? Of course. He hadn't made probation yet. But then...who was?...
"...Where's Genos?" Saitama questioned, now looking around the room.
Upon hearing that, the others also looked among their ranks. As Saitama had pointed out, their latest addition wasn't present.
"...Didn't...you give Genos special orders before we left City Z, One Punch Man?" Flashy Flash asked. He was fairly certain that had happened.
"Yeah. But Genos is part of the channels we use for communication. So, if all of you got the message to come here, he would've too." Saitama answered.
"I doubt he's playing hooky. I barely know him, but the kid's clearly enthusiastic and devoted. If you told him to jump, he'd fly to the moon." Atomic Samurai commented.
"What were your orders? Would you mind sharing them?" Bang requested.
"Nothing complicated. Since Genos is a cyborg and he could do a lot of scanning and stuff like that, I told him to search Ghost Town for anything that might be connected to our mysterious non-human." Saitama informed them.
"Is it possible Genos has run into trouble? The non-human, based on the information provided by Doctor Genus, was in a battered state. If its attackers were still in the vicinity, merely in hiding, Genos could have found them." Drive Knight suggested.
"I don't think so." Isamu began, thinking it over. "I haven't had time to implement security measures for Ghost Town. Even so, I've set up devices that act as an alarm system specifically for those of us living at the apartments. I did this just in case Sonic tried to be bold enough to sneak into the building or get closer to One Punch Man in general. If ANYTHING went down in Ghost Town, I'd be alerted by it, which I was when Mosquito Girl attacked the non-human. So far, I've not gotten any alerts. If something happened, it's not in the vicinity of Ghost Town." He explained.
"Why didn't we also receive the alert? Is it meant to only happen at the apartment building?" Zombieman inquired, finding that odd.
"I'm still testing the system; it's not perfect yet. I didn't want everyone to get a notification on their phones and other devices that something was happening in City Z when all that the devices detected was a flock of birds flying or something similar." Isamu replied.
"Hmm, so we're confident Genos is just ignoring his obligation to S-Class. However, as Child Emperor has explained, if a battle or something near that extent unfolded involving Genos, we'd know about it. But seeing as how we're completely in the dark, that can only mean one thing. Genos found something, and he decided to investigate it himself. That, or, before he could contact any of us, he was prevented from doing so." Metal Knight stated before looking at One Punch Man. "Would you like me to send a drone to search for him? If this turns out to be far simpler a situation than we're assuming, then there'd be no purpose in us rushing to Ghost Town." He asked.
"Yeah. We still need to talk about the non-human. Plus, speaking personally, I've seen what Genos could do. If he found himself fighting something, I'm certain he could turn it to ash in seconds. He's packing some REAL firepower." Saitama answered.
After that, the meeting proceeded as intended. As the discussion progressed, Metal Knight sent one of his reconnaissance drones to Ghost Town. Surely, nothing too severe was happening, right? How much trouble could that blonde-haired cyborg get into in one hour?