I ran this through ChatGPT and asked them to add a Romanian accent to the sentence. This was the result. If you want someone to blame, blame OpenAI.
Okay, I'm still writing it, it's just that my fascination with Solitaires became too much.
I mean seriously, Eldar blanks. Eldar. Blanks. Those who sold their soul to Slaanesh for power.
As Marius bit into a most delicious heart, squirts of sanguine liquid stained his chin and the dining gibt hat wrapped around his neck. This prompted him to use his tongue to catch any of the blood around his mouth and lips like an anteater capturing termites.
With the bib absorbing any excess blood, Marius can dine without any worry of the meal staining his expensive clothing.
In only two bites, Marius finished the newborn's heart.
It was customary for the lord of the house to receive the best slice of meat.
The vampire then kissed his fingers, sucking on them to try and remove any potential blood that remained, "My compliments to ze chef. It is not often zhat you find a newborn vith universal blood, ze most delicious of all possible pairings."
A fellow nobleman nodded his head. Ferronite, one of sixteen present. The sixteen including Marius represented the top leadership of what outsiders would call the 'Tepes Faction'. His features were the same as Marius'; white hair, a doll-like face, and a pair of crimson eyes.
Ferronite chuckled.
"I hope there's more. I've always enjoyed the delicacy of a newborn. Their tender flesh… so supple, full of fat, and almost divine that it practically slides down your throat without any problems"
The nobleman took a deep breath in before cracking a small femur bone no larger than an adult's hand in two. Whereupon the vampire started suckling on it as though it were a teat.
"Perhaps. Upon ze eve of our victory on Carmilla, ve shall dine on a full course of newborns."
Marius' gaze then swept across the table. He found that most of the humans had been reduced to bones. The dinner was done. Now's time for business.
Raising a hand, Marius performed a 'come here' gesture and Lucius approached. The vampire underling leaned forward so that his ears could be closer to his lord's mouth.
"Fetch some blood wine from ze cellar. Ze 18th-century ones, not zhis piss-poor 1950s slop zhat ze lower nobility enjoys."
"Right away my lord."
Lucius turned into a mist and left through a creak in the door of the dining room. With Lucius gone, Marius picked up the glass of 'piss-poor 1950s slop' and started swirling it.
It may be piss-poor, but it'll serve as an excellent framing device. One that promotes intrigue.
"I zhink, it's time that ve finally get to ze actual meat of zhis business," Marius announced as he stood up. The floor groaned as his chair scraped against it.
The terrible sound caused everyone to look at Marius. He now had the attention of the whole room.
Silence descended like a curtain and all chatters stopped, lowering the glass until it was around his waist, "Ve have here in zhis room ze highest echelons of ze True Bloods. Like me, you are all born vampires. Unlike ze half-bloods led by Carmilla, ve are ze true descendants of Vlad ze Impaler! Ze First Dracula!"
Marius raised a glass after the boast, prompting others to follow suit. Invoking the past is always a good method of buttering a vampire noble up.
The room became a sea of raised glasses. Satisfied with that, Marius continued, "Ze First Dracula created a tradition; ze male first, ze female last. However, unsatisfied vith zis, Carmilla conspired vith ze Church and assassinated my father, ze Fourth Dracula and now attempts to seize ze title of ze Fifth Dracula, ze new Ruler of All Vampires! Ve cannot accept zhat!"
Another nobleman stood up and shouted, "No we cannot!"
"Exactly!" Marius pointed at the vampire, prompting that one to sit down, "However, as ze Cold War stands, ve cannot destroy Carmilla vithout rendering ze entire vampire race to be a minor faction."
Marius waited for noises of sadness, but none came. So he soldiered on before the pause could become too long.
"But I have found a solution!" Marius then gestured out the window, "zhose dhampirs you see outside are ze solution to our problems. Zhose subvampires vill finally get to serve zheir betters in much more useful ways after undergoing a process known as 'Mutation'."
Marius took a sip of the piss-poor wine. He wondered why Lucius wasn't here yet with the better blood wine intended for celebration. Marius then made up his mind to give Lucius 30 lashes later for his lack of punctuality.
"I have, in my hands, a weapon zhat can turn dhampirs into immortal soldiers zhat von't die even after being annihilated by Baal's Power of Destruction."
That caused a stir. Whispers then grew into small chatters as the nobles could no longer control themselves upon hearing the news.
"Impossible!" A vampire nobleman cried out as he stood up, "The Power of Destruction annihilates everything! Even the soul and spirits! If such a weapon were to be launched at this castle the wandering souls that fill the halls serving as alarm systems would be banished!"
Ah, Felrodace, always the dull one, Marius smirked. Always the questioning one.
"Of course. Even vith ze best-flesh-crafting techniques or blood rituals, it vould be impossible. Zhat is unless you have ze Holy Grail."
"A Longinus? You have a Longinus?!"
Marius' smirk grew into an unnatural smile that looked like a crescent moon. His teeth were in full display as the vampire thought of forcing Carmilla into the sun and watching her be transmuted into a pillar of ash like the many victims of Pompeii.
"Yes. Ze bearer of ze Sephiroth Graal is vithin my retinue."
Felrodace dropped back into his seat in a daze, stunned by the revelation dropped by Marius.
Of course, he would. The vampire's a spy. The only reason Marius hadn't killed him was so he could feed the information he wanted Carmilla to know.
Marius then looked back to the door, still finding Lucius nowhere to be found. Usually, this was when Marius wanted to pop the cap off the blood wine and start a celebratory toast, as tonight stands as the eve of his ultimate victory.
Where the fuck is the wine?!
Growling, the vampire snapped his fingers and gestured at a nearby server, "You, head towards ze cellar and grab a bottle of blood wine. I swear I vill flay Lucius alive and subject his raw flesh to Solar Decimation."
The younger nobles winced at the term 'Solar Decimation'. Devised by the Second Dracula, it was the worst form of torture a vampire could be subjected to as you're leaving a vampire to be steadily transmuted by the sun as the day progresses. The vampire isn't dead until their heart is transmuted by the sun into a pile of ash.
The half-blood servant hurriedly left to try and not be the focus of Marius' wrath. Turning back to his fellow nobles, the lord of the True Bloods smiled, "Apologies for ze lack of proper wine. I vill make sure my subordinate is punished heavily for being so late."
Marius then gestured for the remaining servants to refill his guest's glasses.
As that was happening, Marius mentally reviewed the topics that this gathering was supposed to go through. With the reveal of the Sephiroth, now comes the war plans.
Marius frowned. He really wanted to have that toast.
Oh well. The thirst isn't that bad. He just had a meal after all.
"Now, given ze advantage is on our side, I think it's time ve launch a final, as ze Germans vould say, a Blitzkrieg directly to Carmilla." The Tepes Lord raised his glass high, "Vhat say you?! Like the Persian Immortals, 300 immortal dhampirs vill crush Carmilla and her half-bloods once and for all!"
"To war!"
"To war!"
"To war!"
"Of course! Vith our victory all but certain, ve need to plan out how ve're going to deal vith the survivors in the aftermath. Zhat's vhy, my fellow true blood, I invite you to gaze upon my master plan. Follow me."
Everyone did. This single meeting ensured any possible thoughts of disloyalty were thoroughly stomped out. Well, Felrodace can always be dealt with later.
The room Marius led the group to was a floor below the dining room. By itself, it looked rather unassuming, just one among many writing rooms with a lit fireplace and tall shelves that are filled with books. It would be very easy to look over it… if it weren't for the tall stack of paper on the writing desk.
Grabbing it, Marius said, "Zese is information I have collected about ze Carmilla faction. All kinds of information from population census, zheir safehouses, everything. I say ve rip out the Carmilla faction by ze roots and burn it until none remain. We will put every single one to ze sword and erase all mentions of her from all books. It vill be as if ze very concept of Carmilla never existed."
His ultimate plan, one that would cement his, and subsequently the Old Blood's, eternal rule over the whole race of vampires as a whole: to kill Carmilla so thoroughly that future generations will not even remember her.
It was more than a simple murder, for killing someone doesn't 'kill' them, not truly. Kill a saint, and they become a martyr. Kill someone, and their impact upon the world still exists, their presence in other people's memories.
Humans have a saying: you die twice, once when you're physically murdered, and twice when your name is uttered for the last and final time.
Marius will kill Carmilla twice.
After finishing, the lord emptied his glass of wine. Annoyingly the blood wine still hasn't come.
Marius sighed, it seems he will have to do this himself. Lucius and that servant will die for disobeying his orders.
"Look over ze papers while I procure some good blood wines."
Closing the door behind him, Marius let out a cruel look of annoyance. He marched downstairs towards the cellar, noting how oddly silent the castle was.
Vampires are naturally superhuman. Their hearing is superb, so while a place might feel quiet for a human, not so for a vampire.
The castle is much quieter. Eh, the servants all probably know how angry he felt at the lack of proper blood wine, so they're giving Marius a wide berth.
Licking his lips, the vampire thought of what he should do to properly express his displeasure at Lucius and that servant. A Solar Decimation isn't enough. No…
As Marius walked to the cellar, he let his mind wander in thinking up new ways of torturing someone even worse than even the Solar Decimation. He's not successful.
The Second Dracula was truly worthy of the moniker, The Cruel. There's hardly anything worse than Solar Decimation. If there is then it's just personal preferences.
The cellar was pitch black for a normal human's eyes due to the lack of any artificial light. But for vampires like Marius, it wasn't an issue.
"Lucius!" The Lord called out, "Lucius, vhere the fuck are you? Vhere the fuck is my blood wine?"
As he descended down through the final flight of stairs, Marius expected to see maybe Lucius and that servant lounging around and sipping on the blood wine intended for him and his guest.
Marius found himself stepping into a confusing situation.
"... Vhat the hell?"
There was a chunk of loose flesh a bit away from the stairs. It was as though someone had thrown ground beef harshly against the floor, causing the already loose structure to explode in a gory fashion, spreading chunks of meat across an area the size of a bedroom.
Sniffing, Marius found the meat didn't exactly smell like human meat. It smelled like vampire flesh.
But that's impossible. Vampires don't leave a body when they're killed. They leave ash. Even when killed through a wooden stake in the heart, the vampire would still turn into ash.
'For dead creatures cannot be buried a second time', the First Dracula decreed after making a deal with Cain. In contrast to the original vampires that existed before the Flood who were far more material than the current vampires that existed.
The only way that someone could've done this was either they were able to nullify this supernatural trait of vampires, or their blade forced the slain to retain their forms. The latter seems much more believable.
Without a second thought, Marius dispersed into a cloud of mist and speedily traveled up the floors, screaming, "Assassins! Ve're being attacked! Ve have an assassin in our midst!"
He didn't receive a reply. In fact, he couldn't even feel the wrathful ghosts that wandered the halls anymore.
Something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Reaching the door to that reading room where the rest of his guests stayed, the cloud of mist condensed into a pair of feet, before the legs grew out of those shoes until Marius in full was created. The vampire grabbed the handle and yanked the door open with so much force that it was ripped off its hinges.
"Ve're under att—"
Red.
The fireplace extinguished.
The room was coated in redness. The same sweet redness that resides inside a human. The same bright scarlet that exists inside a still-alive vampire.
Bits of meat were scattered all around the place, akin to the shards of an exploded grenade. Sprinkled among those ground meat were tiny fragments of bones. The thing that stands out the most is how aside from the paper Marius had given each noble to look over scattered all over the place; nothing was disturbed.
No upturned chairs. No dents across the tables. And no books out of place. The fucking closed curtains were perfectly fine.
There were no signs of struggle. It was as though they had spontaneously exploded.
What is happening?!
Immediately, Marius turned into mist once more and fled for the dungeons. The only thought on his mind was to grab his precious Sephiroth Graal and leave, to lick his wounds and rebuild in secrecy.
That damned bitch! Carmilla must've worked with the Church, for there existed no organization that could kill over a dozen vampire nobles without causing any ruckus.
Passing through a long stretch of a corridor, Marius found out why it was so quiet: all of them were dead. The servants, even Marius' youngest brother, a vampire no older than three, weren't spared.
Carmilla!!!!!
Marius wanted to scream out in hatred as he passed over the remains of his brother. The ground meat was indistinguishable from the others. Only the bloodied pin Andile always wore alerted to Marius who exactly had died here.
Stopping by a door reinforced with iron bars doused with the blood of a hundred virgins, the vampire carefully casts a small hex of blood magic next to the lock.
With a single click, the door opened. Marius quickly pushed so that it was wider.
A flight of stairs going down into pitch-black darkness greeted him on the other side of the doorway. The darkness was special, for Marius' night vision couldn't pierce through the black curtain. It was enchanted darkness designed to disorientate anyone.
Sacrificing bits of his blood, Marius conjured up a new fiery hex that lit up the darkness for no more than four steps of stairs.
The darkness consumes any excess light. This fact paired with how the dungeons exist as a spatial labyrinth that constantly reorganizes itself into a new configuration daily and you have a nigh inescapable dungeon. Any escapee will be trapped, forced to walk the evershifting halls until a guard comes and retrieves them.
Stepping down the flight of stairs, the vampire made a new hex with the shape of an arrow. The arrow spun around like the hands of a block before finally stopping. There, Marius followed where the arrow pointed.
"Damn it all to hell!" Marius finally cursed, "Damn it all—"
Just then, the fire hex extinguished itself. The arrow dematerialized.
Most noticeable, even more attention-catching than the literal source of Marius' light inside this pitch-black room being snuffed out… was how he could now see in the darkness.
The curtain of unyielding shadow that encroached upon the edge of the fiery hex magic was no longer there. Furthermore, there was a single unbearably awful stench that assaulted Marius' nose.
"Argh…" The vampire groaned out as he covered his mouth and nose. Yet even so, the stench was still present. It was as though that stench could pass through his hands.
Ignoring the stench, Marius only sought to reach the Grail.
The Grail.
The Grail!!
The Almighty Grail!
The Holder of the Principle of Life!
So long as the Grail is in his hands, he can recover from anything.
Running down this passageway lined with empty cells, Marius finally stopped when he reached one with a single nude girl inside it.
Chained to the walls, bruises present all over her body, Valerie Tepes, the wielder of the Sephiroth Graal, looked dead.
Approaching the door to this cell, Marius cast an unlocking hex—
"—?"
No hex appeared.
What?
Marius looked down at his hand. Shaking it, the vampire tried to cast the unlocking hex once more— yet nothing seemed to work.
Shaking it once more— he shook it so hard that his arm fell off. Everything up to his elbow splattered against the ground.
"Huh…?"
Before Marius could fully conceptualize what had just happened. Before the pain from the severed arm had reached his brain. Before the vampire could even make another thought—
—A crimson web spread across his chest, surfacing through the fine clothing. The Lord of the Tepes faction literally wrenched—torn—ruptured—shredded—mangled—fell apart into indiscernible chunks. Right before that, however, Marius' last sight was of a burst of multi-colored light, surrounding a single figure garbed in a jester outfit taking a slow, mocking bow.