4 / The Awful Truth
Takodana
4 BBY
The air amongst the trees was close; a strange, damp warmth to it. Kata would've thought the canopy of the forest would provide some shelter from the elements, but it only seemed to trap them in. She'd never been in a forest like this one before, and she couldn't say it was her favourite thing in the Galaxy. There was no denying its beauty, but the damp and cold made the trek all the more difficult.
She, Cal and BD-1 had spent the better part of almost two days exploring the lush forests of Takodana. Her training was progressing well, and Cal felt it would be good for her to understand more of the history of the Jedi Order, and what better place than the ruins of an ancient Jedi Temple. He had never been there himself, but had heard rumours, and they could see the top of the Temple clearly when they had landed on the other side of the lake. With only the directive that it was located somewhere in the south-western forest, and the Force to guide them, Cal had let Kata take the lead as much as possible. He wanted her to be able to trust her instincts and find her way without his help, but the trail had not been easy, to say the least.
"Cal, are you sure we're even going the right way?"
"Yes, Kata, I'm sure. We're close, trust me. The Force will guide us."
"If you say 'the Force will guide us' one more time," She threatened, slashing at some particularly stubborn vines with Cere's saber. "I will feed you to the blasted convors."
"bzzt bzzt bzzt!"
"I need to have a serious talk with Rion when we get back about his language around you."
"Yeah, if we ever make it out of this forest alive. I think the bugs alone are going to be the death of me."
Kata slapped one that had landed on her arm as she said this.
"If you have energy to complain, you have energy to walk."
"Remind me again why we're all the way out here looking for this temple?"
"History lesson."
"Do you think the High Republic Jedi got eaten alive by the bugs, too?"
"pttrrtt!"
Cal sighed exasperatedly.
"Patience, Kata. Anything worth doing takes time and effort."
Kata didn't respond and her pace slowed a little.
"I'm getting the silent treatment now, am I?" Cal remarked.
"No, shh," She held out her hand for him to stop. "I hear something..."
Kata closed her eyes and listened intently, and then she was sure of it. She heard the distinctive trickling sound of running water to the north-west.
"This way."
They didn't have to walk much further before the sound grew louder, and before long they found themselves suddenly stepping into a clearing. The ruins of a Jedi Temple loomed before them, what was left of its walls and courtyard crumbling and overtaken by the forest. The sunlight streamed in through the break in the trees and shone brilliantly against the stone structure. A steadily streaming creek flowed around its perimeter towards the lake to their right.
"Wow." Kata breathed in awe.
"wooow!"
"You said it. That is really something."
Kata's eyes poured over the structure, and the longer she looked, the more of a sense she got that the decay of the temple wasn't entirely natural.
"What happened here?"
Cal looked down at her with an encouraging smile.
"Why don't you use your skills to find out?"
"I don't have the advantage of seeing the past like you do."
"You don't need it," Cal placed his hand on her shoulder and leaned down to her level. "If you look, really look, and feel the energy, the memory, the emotion connected with this place, you'll find the answers you seek."
Kata was unconvinced, but Cal seemed confident enough in her ability. She hopped over the creek and approached the crumbling structure. It was huge – bigger than the Temple on Tanalorr, which was admittedly her only frame of reference. She had never seen the Temple on Coruscant, only heard stories from Cal and the other Jedi survivors.
The closer she got to the entrance, the more uneasy she began to feel. She looked behind her for reassurance from Cal and he waved her forward. He stood by the creek, hands on his hips, keeping his distance. BD-1 hopped down from Cal's back and scurried after her with his little legs. Kata walked until she stood facing the walls and reached out to gingerly trace her fingers along its cracks. Some of them were made by time, but there were some holes much too deliberately placed to have been made by neglect alone.
"This place was attacked long ago."
"The Nihil Marauders."
Cal's voice was suddenly close behind her. She turned quickly, startled, to see his pensive expression as he looked up at the ominous structure. So he already knew what had happened here, then, and he was just testing her.
"They're the same people that attacked Tanalorr," Kata recalled. "After Dagan Gera and Santari Khri first discovered it."
"That's right." Cal smiled proudly.
Kata gently ran her fingers along the surface of the temple as she walked towards its entrance, peering inside.
"And the Shattered Moon, that was them too, right?"
Cal nodded.
"They were the Empire of their time, just without the order and the discipline," He explained. "The Empire seeks to corrupt and control, but they sought only to sow chaos and calamity throughout the Galaxy."
"Why?" Kata asked.
Cal's expression was very serious.
"Power. Like the Empire, they wanted to bring the Galaxy to its knees. Everyone feared them, and they were right to. But it only took a small spark of hope for people to rise up and strike down their oppressors. It's the reason Cere began her crusade to restore the Order, and I got swept along with her."
Cal laughed once at the memory of his 'rescue' on Bracca at the hands of Cere and Greez all those years ago. It felt like another lifetime now.
"Cere thought that bringing back the Jedi could bring people hope?"
"Yeah," He nodded. "I've tried to continue that legacy, on Tanalorr. One day the Jedi will be a bastion of hope for the Galaxy again. I made her a promise, and I intend to keep it."
"wooo..."
Kata studied Cal's face, always a mixture of reverence and sadness whenever he spoke of Cere. She hadn't known the Jedi Master, but to hear Cal, Merrin, Greez and BD talk of her, she was one of the greatest Jedi who ever lived. She wished she could've met her.
"Power always seeks to corrupt, Kata," Cal continued. "A Jedi should strive to use their power to serve others – never to serve themselves. Though, we are all guilty of the latter, whether we mean to be or not. Such is the nature of power, of the Force. The balance between light and dark is fragile; maintaining that balance is crucial to not losing yourself to corruption, to the temptation that power brings."
"I'm not sure I fully understand." Kata admitted.
"I know, Kata. You will in time."
Cal knelt down in front of his Apprentice and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"Trust yourself, and trust in the Force. It will guide you, always."
Cal smiled and Kata smiled back. She wasn't sure exactly what his words meant, but perhaps it was something she couldn't understand yet. The Force was such a complex thing; the darkness and the light, and all that was in-between. She never quite knew where she stood with the Force, or where it stood with her.
"You want to keep exploring?" Cal asked after a moment.
"Yeah." Kata nodded.
She turned towards the entrance to the Temple. It was not dark inside like she thought it should be. She could clearly see the main hall. She took a few tentative steps through the doorway until she stood inside, Cal and BD-1 following behind her. As she proceeded further into the enormous hall, she realised where the light was coming from – there was a giant hole in the roof that wasn't visible from the front. The late afternoon sun streamed in and all the creeping plants that hung from it danced their shadowy patterns on the pearlescent stone floors, the rays shining between them. She shielded her eyes as the sun appeared and looked away.
BD-1 began to scamper about, scanning anything and everything he could find, beeping and whistling happily to himself. His curious nature always got the better of him in new places. Cal and Kata took in the sight of the Temple, long abandoned, everything exactly as its residents had left it. Kata watched as Cal approached a discarded object on the ground and touched his fingers to it, closing his eyes and breathing deeply as he connected to the Force. The Padawan had seen him do this many times, and she couldn't help but feel envious, in a way. He could see things others couldn't, and she thought it must have been magical, to connect to the past so vividly.
Cal opened his eyes and looked over at her.
"Would you like to see?"
Kata was confused by his question, but then he closed his eyes again and furrowed his brows in concentration. A long moment passed, then he held out his other hand in front of him and shapes began to form in the open space. Apparitions appeared, depicting several children – Younglings, Kata guessed – and one Jedi Master at the front, instructing them. Kata heard distant shouts, more felt them than heard them, really. The apparitions seemed still at first, but the longer she looked, she realised they were moving very slowly, as if suspended in time.
"Incredible." Kata breathed with a smile.
A sound of effort left Cal's lips and he lowered his hand, the apparition fading into dust. He panted from the exertion.
"Are you ok?" Kata asked.
"I'm alright." He assured her.
"How did you do that?"
"I've been practicing. I projected the echo through the Force, but it's very difficult to do. It will take me some time to master."
Kata regarded him questioningly.
"I thought being a Jedi Master meant you knew everything about the Force."
Cal laughed lightly.
"Master is only a title, and a Jedi is only as good as their ability to learn. It's impossible for any one person to learn everything there is to know about the Force. A true Jedi continues to learn and grow, right up until they draw their last breath. Ignorance is the death of progress, Kata."
Kata nodded thoughtfully.
"Thank you for showing me that. I often wonder what it is you see in the past."
"Can I tell you a secret? Most of the time, it's incredibly boring."
Kata giggled and Cal joined in her laughter. Kata's eyes wandered to where the echo was just moments ago, her gaze far away.
"That memory, those Younglings... it isn't dissimilar from the Younglings on Tanalorr."
"No, it isn't," Cal agreed. "Reminds me of my own years as a Youngling on Coruscant."
Kata hesitated before asking her next question.
"Would you take me to see the Temple someday?"
Cal looked up at her and she could see the sadness in his eyes.
"If things were different... but that place only holds pain for me now," He averted his gaze. "It reminds me of everything we've lost. I'd rather see it burned to the ground than being occupied by the Emperor."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"It's ok, Kata," He took one of her small hands in both of his and smiled reassuringly. "You can ask me these things, you know, and I will answer if I can."
"I don't want to bring up painful memories."
"They're a part of my story, however painful they may be. It's part of what makes me who I am, everything I've survived. Be proud of your story, Kata – you wouldn't be you without it."
Kata smiled sincerely at him.
"I'll try."
"Good."
Cal stood then and they both continued to wander the space. Kata found herself wondering about the people here, who they were, where they'd come from, where they had gone. She could see the broken pieces of their lives scattered around her, telling the story of those who had come centuries before. She wondered what it would've been like to live in that time, to experience the Galaxy as they had, long before the Empire. Though, she supposed they had their own fair share of troubles with the Nihil Marauders. She wondered what it had been like when the Temple was attacked, the fear they must've felt as the battle had raged on around them. She couldn't imagine it herself and she hoped it was a fear she would never have to know.
Eventually, Kata heard Cal call her name and she sought him out, hearing the pitter-patter of BD-1's feet following her. He had stumbled upon the meditation chambers, the seats still lined up perfectly, almost nothing out of place aside from the obvious decay of time. Cal sat cross-legged on one of the chairs and motioned for her to join him.
"Sit with me." He encouraged.
Kata sat facing him on the next chair and placed her hands in her lap, looking at up him.
"Close your eyes." He instructed.
She did so and he followed suit.
"Slow your breathing, quiet your mind. Feel the Force around you."
Kata drew in long, deep breaths and kept still as she tried to feel the energy around her.
"What do you feel?"
She felt nothing, at first. But after a while, as her body and mind began to settle, she started to pick up on things. She could feel the dark energies around them, fuelled by the emotions of those who had once lived there.
"There is great darkness here..." Her voice was barely a whisper in the eerie silence. "Sadness... loss... suffering... pain..."
Cal heard the shift in her voice and worried. He opened his eyes to see her brow furrowed and her eyelids moving as her eyes darted beneath them.
"Careful, Kata," He cautioned. "Such emotions can be very powerful. When you connect with them, be mindful you don't get swept along with them."
Kata nodded and took another deep breath, heeding his warning. She tried to separate herself from the feelings and observe more objectively. Cal watched her closely as she meditated. Eventually, she began to detect whispers, not of a voice, but of an energy. One that was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Her eyes opened and she met Cal's focused gaze.
"Dagan Gera was here, once."
Cal couldn't hide his surprise that she had been able to sense that. Young and inexperienced as she was, her senses were incredibly astute. She had never even met the former Jedi, so for her to have picked up on his presence was quite astonishing.
"Very good, Kata," He praised. "He was, I sensed him, too. I'm guessing that's why we feel such a strong connection to Tanalorr here."
"Why would he have been here?" Kata asked.
Cal looked up, his eyes moving about the open space above them.
"Only the Force knows now." He said simply.
Kata tilted her head back as well, brown eyes darting about, watching the particles dance in the sunlight. A long moment of comfortable silence passed between them, and when Cal spoke again, it startled her.
"Come on, it's getting late. We should settle in for the night."
"We're staying in the Temple?" Kata asked.
Cal hesitated after swinging his legs to the ground.
"Are you afraid?" He asked.
"No."
"It's alright if you are."
"I'm not scared, Cal."
Cal huffed a laugh and one side of his mouth pulled up.
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."
Darkness fell over the Temple quickly, and like most things, the place seemed so much more sinister at night. Cal carefully placed another log and a few more branches onto the small stack of wood they had made in the main chamber.
"Ok, fire it up." Cal joked.
"Ha, ha."
Kata twisted her hand, streaks of green flowing from her fingertips as she used her Magick to light the fire. She shuffled forward in her sitting position to warm her hands, the chill really setting in now without the sun to counter it. Cal sat close by and BD-1 got comfortable between them. The Jedi reached into his pocket and handed something to Kata.
"I found these before."
Kata opened her hand and he carefully dropped two little stones into it. They were mostly round in shape with flat faces and very smooth. One of them was a deep blue with streaks of green, gold and silver, like little rivulets in the rock, the other was blood red with speckles of black and white. Each of them beautiful in their own right.
"Pretty, aren't they?"
"They are," Kata agreed. "I didn't know you had an interest in rocks, Cal."
"Only because I know you do. Keep them, a souvenir of our time here."
Kata turned the stones over in her hands, thinking they would be perfect for carving. Perhaps she would give it a try.
"You should get some sleep," Cal instructed. "We have a long hike back to the ship tomorrow."
"I'm not tired yet," Kata refuted. "You should sleep, I'll take first watch."
"Yeah, I don't think so."
"What, don't you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you, it's BD I don't trust."
"fttrrtt!"
The droid looked at Cal in a most offended manner and Kata laughed.
"Seriously, Cal, I can do it. You haven't slept in two days, you're exhausted. I don't think I'll be able to sleep here anyway."
"I don't like the idea of leaving you on your own, Kata."
"I won't be on my own, you'll be right here, and BD will keep me company."
"bwa-bwow!"
Cal was hesitant to agree, still reluctant to leave her on watch by herself. She was still only a kid, after all, but she was capable.
"Ok," He finally agreed. "Wake me when you're ready to rest."
"I will." She promised.
"BD, you're in charge."
"brrrrlllt!"
Cal stretched his left shoulder, then laid down on his side near the fire. He rested his head on his arm and watched the flames flicker for a moment. It wasn't long before his eyelids became heavy, exhausted as he truly was, and he fell into a deep sleep.
Weariness never found Kata that night. She sat up by the fire for hours while Cal slept, his body twitching from time to time; he was a restless sleeper. Eventually she pulled out her pocket knife and began carving the two stones he had given her earlier, planning to make a gift of them to him and Merrin. BD-1 watched her busywork with interest as she carefully etched a design into the stones and occasionally blew the dust away.
"Cere..."
Kata looked over at Cal, startled even though his voice was such a whisper, she wasn't even sure she'd heard it. He was still asleep, body twitching more now and his face was contorted. She thought he must've been dreaming, and it didn't seem like it was pleasant. She wondered if she should wake him or leave him be.
"Bode... why..."
Kata stopped what she was doing. It took a moment for her brain to register what he'd said, quiet as his words were. Three words that suddenly had her head swimming in a thousand questions. Cal had never told her about what had happened between him and her Papa before she met him. Every time she'd asked, he'd changed the subject, so she had stopped asking. She'd assumed that her father had done something bad; she knew he'd stolen the Abyss compass, after all. But what if what he'd done was far worse than she'd ever imagined?
"You were going to sacrifice thousands of people to save yourself! You're a monster, Bode..."
Kata recalled Cal's words to her father at Nova Garon, the day they'd met. She hadn't really understood what was going on at the time, and she still didn't fully understand now. Why wouldn't Cal tell her the truth? She realised there may be only one reason, and it was too horrible to think about. But she had to know.
When Cal's eyes opened, the light of dawn shone through the hole in the roof and the Temple chamber was bright once more. He sat up quickly when he realised he was alone.
"Kata?"
He got to his feet and looked around, but she wasn't in the room, and neither was BD-1.
"BD? Kata?" He called louder.
Now he was starting to worry. Where were they? He just about jumped out of his skin when Kata landed behind him, having dropped in from the hole in the roof. BD was perched on her shoulder.
"Dank farrick Kata," He swore. "Where were you?"
"Fetching breakfast." She replied flatly.
"woo-woo-woo-woop."
Kata tossed an orange fruit to Cal which he caught, realising it was a passilo.
"Thanks."
Kata walked towards the fire, which was barely more than coals now, and took a seat on the floor where she had been most of the night. BD-1 hopped down from her shoulder and sat beside her as she pulled out her pocket knife and started to cut the fruit she held.
"Why didn't you wake me?" Cal asked.
"I never got tired," She explained. "Too much on my mind."
"You shouldn't go off on your own, Kata."
"I was checking the perimeter, like you taught me."
Kata shot Cal a strange look that he couldn't decipher and he realised that her whole demeanour was off this morning. He decided to let it go; perhaps she was just tired. He sat down near her and pulled out his own knife. They ate in silence for a few moments and it was growing inexplicably more uncomfortable by the second, so Cal decided to break it.
"You're doing well, Kata," He praised. "I want you to know that. I'm pleased with how far you've come."
Kata glanced up at him and smiled, but it seemed an automatic action. Not insincere, necessarily, just... distracted.
"Is everything ok?" Cal asked.
"I'm fine, Cal."
It was a lie, a deflection, that much was clear to him.
"You talk in your sleep." She observed, changing the subject.
"Yeah, I've been told I do that."
Kata didn't say anything else and they both went back to their breakfast, the silence progressing from uncomfortable to tense. Once they were done, they tossed the peelings onto the remnants of their fire, which had all but burnt out. Cal stood and wiped his hands on his pants, sticky as they were from the fruit.
"Come on, then. We should start heading back to the Mantis, if we can find it."
"Cal?"
He half-turned towards Kata, his face expectant, sensing a question coming on.
"I have to ask you something, and I need a straight answer."
She looked him dead in the eyes and Cal was suddenly on the defensive, afraid of what she was about to ask and reluctant to promise honesty.
"Ok." He eventually agreed.
Kata looked down and was silent for a long moment, debating whether she should broach the subject or back down. But she couldn't forget what she'd heard and she needed to know, no matter how awful the truth was, she had to hear it. She looked back up at Cal's apprehensive expression and made direct eye contact with him.
"Did my Papa kill Cere?"
Cal couldn't stop the surprise from crossing his face. The question had caught him completely off-guard. Why was she asking him this, here, now? Where could she have possibly gotten the idea that... and then it dawned on him. He looked away from her, unable to meet her gaze as he realised.
"What did I say in my sleep?"
"Why, is there something I shouldn't've heard?"
Cal sighed, closing his eyes and silently cursing himself. He remembered dreaming about Cere and Jedha, though the details were hazy. He still dreamed about her often. He must've been talking about her while he slept. He hesitated for a long moment, at war with himself about whether or not he should answer her question. He'd avoided the subject for years, never having the heart to tell her the truth. After all, how do you tell a kid that her father betrayed and murdered people in the name of protecting her? Where would he even start?
"You don't have to protect me from the truth, Cal," Kata pressed. "Whatever it is, whatever he did, I can handle it."
Cal turned back towards her, his feelings a confusing mess of sorrow, resentment and pity. He watched her brown eyes dart across his face as he stood there, not saying a word. Everything he felt must've been plain on his features, because her face softened.
"Please, I need to know."
The Jedi turned away from her again, knowing what was coming. He realised he could no longer dance around the subject. If there was a time to tell Kata the truth, it was now. Maybe she could handle it, and maybe not. But she did have a right to know.
"No," He finally answered, his voice echoing in the emptiness. "Your father didn't kill Cere."
Kata exhaled and sat back against the pillar behind her. She was relieved, but also confused. If her Papa didn't kill Cere, then who did?
"But he did kill Master Cordova."
Kata's gaze lifted to meet Cal's, her breath hitching in her throat. She didn't know much about Master Cordova, only what Cal and Merrin had told her, and what she'd seen in BD's recordings. They had described him as a kind, gentle soul. He was a Jedi, a researcher, a peaceful man by all accounts. To learn that her father had killed him was almost worse. Judging by the profound sadness she saw in Cal's eyes, she had a feeling that was just the tip of the iceberg.
Cal sighed deeply and wordlessly walked over to sit to Kata's right, preparing himself to recount that fateful day on Jedha all those years ago.
"Cordova fixed the Abyss compass, then the Empire attacked, Bode had led them to the Archive. He took the compass and Master Cordova tried to stop him, but he..." Cal hesitated to describe what Bode had done, but decided it was best to tell her straight. "He shot him. He ran and Cere told me to go after him, so I did."
Cal stole a glance at Kata, wondering how she was taking any of this, but her expression was unreadable. She just watched him and waited for him to continue.
"I chased him down and that's when he revealed what he was: a Jedi. I still don't know how he managed to hide it from us. I fought him, but he bested me, shot me and pushed me off a cliff. I passed out, and when I came to and finally made it back, the Archive was ash, and Cere was..."
Cal's voice broke and he leant forward, resting his head in his hand. Kata could feel his sadness and pain and it broke her heart to know her father had caused it. She didn't want to believe what she was hearing was true. How could her Papa have done such a thing? It was too horrible to think about. Cal took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair, taking a moment before he continued.
"It was Vader that killed her, I saw him in her memories. I got there hours too late..."
Kata watched Cal's expression turn dark as he lost himself in the past.
"I called Merrin and Greez back and we decided to go after him. Bode's actions got a lot of good people killed that day, all because he wanted to keep Tanalorr for himself."
"And me."
Cal turned to look at Kata and her eyes were fixed on the floor.
"It wasn't your fault, Kata," He reminded. "Bode's choices were his own."
"I know."
It was deathly silent in the Temple for a long time, neither one of them looking at the other, neither saying a word. Finally, Kata looked up and Cal met her gaze.
"Why didn't you tell me all of this before?" She asked.
Cal's eyes flicked down to the floor again, then back at her.
"Because I didn't want to give you more reason to be disappointed in your father."
Kata's brows furrowed as her expression hardened.
"Why shouldn't I be disappointed in him? He was a bad person."
"I don't think it's for us to judge whether someone is good or bad. People are more complicated than that."
Kata was silent once more, taking all of it in. Hearing about what her Papa had done was making her see him in a different light. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but she had seen it – the change in him since her Mama died. She wanted to believe the Papa she remembered couldn't have done such terrible things, but she had seen it herself. The day they came to Tanalorr, he had hurt her, he had tried to kill Cal and Merrin. She knew what he was, what he had become. Her father had died long before that day.
"I don't understand something," She broke the silence, looking up at Cal once more. "You still gave him the chance to surrender, after everything he did. Why?"
Cal hesitated, his face softening.
"Because of you," He explained. "We didn't want you to have to grow up without both of your parents."
"I guess he didn't feel the same. Maybe I'm better off without him."
"Kata, your father—"
"Was a liar and a murderer. He was a monster, you said it yourself. He spied for the Empire, he killed your friends."
"Yes, he did," Cal interjected. "And I hated him for it. I wanted revenge; I wanted to hurt him for what he did. But that was wrong of me. And whatever he did, it doesn't justify taking his life."
Kata understood what he was saying, but she wasn't sure she agreed. At what point does it become justifiable? How many bad things can a person do before they deserve to die? Is it truly wrong to take the life of a person who's taken so many others? She supposed that was the difference between Cal and her father.
"You gave him the chance to stand down," She pointed out. "He didn't take it. I don't blame you for that, Cal."
Cal's shoulders relaxed a little at hearing her say this. He knew there was a time, at least, when she had held him responsible for her father's death. He recalled their argument on Tanalorr only a year past all too well. And he hadn't blamed her for it – he was the one who'd pulled the trigger, after all. It was good to know that she seemed to have forgiven him, though he might never forgive himself.
"It still doesn't make what I did right," Cal continued. "I can never replace what I took from you, and I'm not trying to. But he was right, you know; I couldn't understand what it was like to be in his position... until now."
Kata looked up at him again, confused by his words. Cal got up from his sitting position and moved over to her, kneeling in front of her.
"Kata," His voice softened. "I know it isn't the same – that I'm not your father, but I am responsible for you and I care for you. I will do my best to protect you and guide you. I would give my life for yours without hesitation, and I know Merrin and Greez would do the same."
"bwoo-woo!"
The droid suddenly popped up in between them, having been sitting quietly while they talked.
"Yes, and BD, too." Cal added with a chuckle.
Kata smiled and petted the droid's head. She appreciated Cal's sentiment. She knew that they cared about her, and she cared about them, too. They were all she had now, her strange little found family, and she was grateful for them.
"Your father loved you, Kata. I'm sorry that his burdens were placed on your shoulders. You should never have had to carry them."
The sadness in Kata's eyes mirrored his.
"I know Papa loved me, and wanted to keep me safe. But if he really wanted to protect me, he would've been there to protect me instead of leaving me alone at that base."
Cal couldn't exactly argue with that. She had been left alone for much of her life since her mother died, her father off spying for Denvik and who knows what else. But he also understood that Bode was doing the best he could in an impossible situation, while also grieving a loss he never recovered from, and that, at least, Cal could relate to.
"He was just afraid to lose you like he lost your mother," He explained. "That fear is what drove him to the Dark Side, but it didn't have to be that way. I just wish I could've helped him."
Kata nodded sadly, feeling a great weight pulling her down. She suddenly felt so tired, whether from the sleepless night or the revelation of her father's exploits. Being there in that Temple likely wasn't helping. She wished that Cal had told her the truth sooner, but after hearing it all, she understood his hesitation. Five years had passed since they'd first come to Tanalorr, but for him the memories were still painful. Maybe they always would be. It still caused her pain to think about her parents, to recall her memories of them, though that hurt had lessened with time. But their absence was a hole in her heart that she knew could never be filled, not by anyone.
"Can we go home now?" She asked him softly.
Cal's mouth pulled up in a sad smile and he nodded.
"Yeah, kiddo. Let's go home."