Chapter 17
"Mr. Huntzberger, Ms. Gilmore, right this way please," the Matre'd said, gesturing the two towards the dining hall.
They'd dined like this hundreds of times together. It was even signature of Logan to have called ahead when making the reservation and made sure Rory was also called by her name. He knew Rory liked to be respected for herself, and not referred to by his name by accident and therefore touching upon some painful subject.
They'd both dressed up, though the hot weather outside had set some limitations on that, not allowing Logan to go with one of his usual evening suits but rather something lighter. Even his shirt collar was left unbuttoned out of necessity.
Rory looked slightly different from the way Logan was used to seeing her, however. She was intentionally trying to emphasize how she wasn't exactly the same person as when they'd last been around each other like this, not to prove a point but to remind him of it to remain realistic.
Rory had a Sachin & Babi dress that she'd brought along, aiming to wear it for the rehearsal dinner, but as this almost seemed more important, it had been a fitting moment to put on the off-shoulder figure-flattering piece. The navy background complimented her complexion and the flower pattern that traveled down from her shoulder to the hem added a touch of femininity. It was a little more mature, and less innocent than some of her former dresses, but still showed a little skin. Her hair had been braided up; Rory having taken the opportunity to test out a hairdo for the wedding. Braiding her hair really had only been something she'd begun doing more often once she'd had a daughter herself, their morning hair-routines taking on a whole other level.
Logan had spent the drive over explaining to Rory how almost all of Brisbane's best restaurants all had the same exact view, overlooking the Story Bridge, and it had taken him some effort to find something different. Rory had been able to tell he'd been nervous, driving her, wanting everything to go smoothly. It was kind of refreshing, actually, since Logan had never in her memory been nervous with her, except for maybe during the proposal itself.
But other than that, the drive over had been a quiet one, both remaining tentative of what was to come. These weeks they had here were their last trial run, after all - that went without saying.
The restaurant was dimly lit and pretty much as anticipated in places like this, the silence and people's mumbled discussions were filled by soft, ambient music.
"I hope the table is to your satisfaction," the Matre'd said, gesturing at a table set for two, set slightly away from the rest. It overlooked the same Story Bridge but thankfully from another angle - from a higher height and further away. This caused the two to slightly muse at the fact how they hadn't been able to escape this particular landmark.
Logan insisted on helping Rory to her seat, even though technically there was staff for that kind of thing in this place. But he just wanted to take any excuse to get closer to her, and standing behind her, getting a whiff of her hair, had always been one of those things that simply took his breath away.
Following seating Rory, Logan took his own seat across from her, meeting her eyes. He could see she looked slightly flushed, though it wasn't too easy to differentiate whether it was from exposure to the sun or him - if he were to be so bold to flirt with that thought.
"Our chef has prepared a special menu for tonight, featuring an exquisite Yellowfin tuna caught this morning," the Matre'd explained.
Frankly neither really cared what was on the menu, as it wasn't so much the food they were here for. And Rory was sure, whatever Logan would choose, would not disappoint. Besides, Finn seemed to know everyone in the hospitality business around town, hence it was likely a pretty safe bet that they would get the best food and best service tonight.
"Sounds wonderful," Rory commented, politely.
"Thank you," Logan said, not really having paid much attention, being captivated by her blue eyes.
"Our sommelier can guide you through our wine selection," the Matre'd introduced the gentleman, who'd appeared behind him. "And if you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask. Enjoy your evening," he said before making a graceful exit.
Logan really didn't need much aid with the wine list, but he humored the guy whilst they made up their minds.
"You know, my mom and I would have mercilessly mocked you for being a wino had you been one then," Rory said, after the sommelier had left, adding - "you know, growing up…," being really out of her element right now.
Logan's brain formed a number of conclusions from that no-doubt nervous line. That she'd somehow retreated to her college-aged self in her thinking, adding a dash of class-difference into the mix by pointing out how they were of somewhat different worlds, at least superficially. It was nothing new, and even though they hadn't talked about this much, he recognized the topic as the same that had come up time and time again in different forms.
"You would? So, you don't anymore? That's good to know," Logan replied, deciding to take the high route and laugh about it.
"Only on holidays," Rory replied, smiling softly.
"I get that it must've been a challenge, you know, adjusting to this new lifestyle," Logan said, struggling to put it politely yet accurately enough.
"Having money?" Rory asked, lowering her tone a little.
"I suppose," Logan replied.
"I guess it was kind of good that with a baby in tow one really didn't have as much energy to think about it as I otherwise would've. Maybe - I don't know. There were diapers to buy, preschool tuition, bigger car to buy…," Rory explained.
"So, you finally just caved?" Logan asked, but didn't have any hint of judgment in his tone. It reminded Rory of why this was potentially easy. There was at least one thing Logan would never judge her over. They were now more equal than they'd ever been before, counting the Gilmore money or not. If anything, Rory's current name didn't reflect how she was more of the Hayden's now than the Gilmore's in many ways, which also made her several steps closer to the Huntzbergers. Not that she was ready to compare herself to a family like that.
"I really didn't," Rory replied, not really wanting to go into explaining to him how most of her existence was pretty humble, having for years made sure Jess was comfortable with her decisions. So her apartment was just what they needed, nothing excess, their rooms full of shabby antiques and IKEA furniture. Rory didn't like thinking along this route, knowing that discussions about who moved where and who kept what, as they were trying to break up amicably, would soon be in the near future for her.
"Where did your mind go just now?" Logan asked, seeing how his question had caused her mind to wander.
"I just realized there are a lot of changes coming, I mean I won't be getting a divorce but I am kind of divorcing him, I guess? If that makes sense," Rory replied.
"It does," Logan agreed.
"And you - you're actually getting one. A divorce, I mean. I guess, this is just a lot of pressure and it's kind of all hitting me at once," Rory explained.
"Hey, hey, hey," Logan said, reaching for her hand across the table. "No panicking. Not yet at least, okay?" he added, hoping that'd help her.
Rory inhaled sharply, knowing her panicking wasn't exactly her most attractive feature. It was another thing she worried about concerning Logan - when he'd been in her life last, she'd struggled a lot more with her anxieties. What she didn't know was how much of it was just a memory of association and how much of it was just him?
"Let's just take this slow. We have a lot of history and obviously that can't be ignored. But I think, here, now… we at least have a chance to start things fresh. Pretend you've only just met me. You've kept saying how you're not the same person as you were years ago, so let me get to know this new person you've become," Logan suggested.
"Yeah, that's what I tried thinking. But I have to admit it, it's harder than it sounds," Rory admitted.
"So, have you dated much since, um… us," Logan said, not wanting to bring up Jess again.
"Hardly at all, really," Rory confessed. After what had happened with Logan, and Paul, she'd been far too paralyzed by hurt and guilt to take the generic route of dating apps.
"Ah, so technically what this is, is just that you're feeling rusty," Logan replied, smilingly.
"And you, I imagine, are well-seasoned and not out of practice at all?" Rory said, not meaning it in a bad way.
"I wouldn't quite say that," Logan replied humbly.
"So, share some of that wisdom of yours," Rory encouraged. "What would you ask from a date?" she asked.
Their discussion was interrupted by their first courses being brought to the table.
Logan really hadn't dated that much at all; dating was tiring for him by now. Mostly it was just easier to lean on old acquaintances for sex, as for someone like him trust was of the essence.
"How about… what do you do for fun these days?" Logan began, deciding to not go into historic things and keep things light for now.
"Honestly…," Rory pondered. "Once I'm home at the end of the day, I barely have enough energy in me to pick out a book to read or a show to watch," she added.
"Still working with passion, I see?" Logan said.
"I mean, yeah. But I'm not really burning the candle at both ends anymore - no late nights - working through the weekend, nothing extreme. It's just a part of growing older I guess," Rory said.
"Raising a kid must really take a lot out of you," Logan noted.
"Oh yeah," Rory replied laughingly. "I mean, she's amazing but exhausting at the same time. Being around her can be so tiring I think I can't be any more tired, but then it turns out I still somehow manage another bedtime story," Rory explained.
"So, what's her favorite story?" Logan asked, deciding to enjoy the way her face lit up when she talked about her daughter.
"She doesn't really have one specific one. There's Gruffalo, a Squash and a Squeeze, Oi Frog… a bunch of others," Rory said.
"Who comes up with those names?" Logan chuckled, having not heard of one of them.
"Beats me. But considering Oi Frog is technically published by one of your sub companies, you should probably ask one of your editors," Rory pointed out.
Logan laughed. "Yeah, that's one genre I really haven't been paying much attention to, I'll admit," he added.
"You really should. There are definitely some gems in there," Rory said. "Especially since…," she added, stopping at that thought, recalling Logan mentioning how kids had been in his plans possibly. The memory made her tentative, wondering what this meant for her and for him now that they had started something.
"If I have kids of my own?" Logan filled the silence.
"Uh-huh," Rory mumbled, having taken a sip of wine in the meanwhile.
"Well, that's still very much open for discussion," Logan replied, despite knowing that it wasn't really a discussion for Odette. She was determined to have a child, the question was whether he was going to be a part of it. "Did you ever consider having more kids?" Logan inquired, hoping she wouldn't take it as a question that was too direct.
"Not really," Rory said, not wanting to go into her reasons. She hoped Logan could assume based on what he already knew - Jess wasn't home much and the struggles she'd had after having Mil.
"But I guess a part of it was always having to take into account whether I'd have enough time and energy for Mil. And you know me, I still wanted to work," Rory steered the conversation to another direction.
"Yeah, no surprise there," Logan commented.
"How did it go with Hamburg?" Rory offered to talk business.
Logan continued to fill her in on the highlights, despite it not being his favorite subject right now.
"I'm not crazy about traveling much these days to be honest. Even though the flights in Europe are on the short side, it's still tiring. It just lacks the excitement it used to hold, you know?" Logan discussed."
"So, you're pretty set on London, right? Or London region," Rory asked, correcting her questions as she remembered him mentioning some other location nearby.
"For a while at least. It just is about reorganizing the business somewhat. But there is a NY office," Logan shared, having not yet really thought about it. But there was a lot that was needed to do, to actually get him looking at moving back to the States. The decision would be questioned and critiqued by many; he knew that already. But it wasn't impossible.
"And I bet you have friends there too?" Rory inquired.
"Sure, some," Logan admitted.
"It was a big change for me to move to Boston," Rory reflected.
"But it's not impossible," Logan tried to stay positive.
"I can't help to think that maybe in some ways… not that I am suggesting it... not yet anyways… but still… that maybe we're better as friends. Nobody would have to uproot their lives, not that I regret breaking up with Jess," Rory said, breaking Logan's heart a little.
"I don't think those things are mutually exclusive," Logan said, hopefully.
"I know, it's just that things seem to get exponentially complicated once we add to it. Sometimes, I don't know, you hear people say that relationships are not supposed to be that hard," Rory said with concern in her tone.
"It wasn't always hard, Rory. I hope you remember that," Logan reminded her.
"And please don't see this as me having doubts right now or me not saying that I don't want you in my life… I just… I wanted to be honest about what I am feeling. I hope that's okay," Rory added, sensing his growing frustration with her.
"It's okay," Logan said, despite it having been hard to hear.
"How about we go walk around a little before we grab dessert somewhere?" Rory suggested, wanting a change of scenery.
"And here I was, making sure they had tiramisu and everything," Logan chimed.
"Ah, that's a lovely thought. But it'll go straight to my hips," Rory replied.
"Well, that's new!" Logan exclaimed. "And your hips look great, by the way," he added, causing Rory to blush a little.
"Well, it turns out the Gilmore metabolism is at its best only until the late 30s," Rory replied. "Now I see why grandma was insistent on her water aerobics and tennis," she added.
"I can't really imagine you or your mother joining a gym though," Logan chuckled, well-meaningly.
"Yeah, no. And mom - she's just far too busy running around her two inns, refusing to hire more help," Rory explained.
"Two inns? Wow!" Logan replied, the annex coming as news to him.
Rory explained how her mother had grown her 'empire' if it could be called that. But they both took it with a grain of salt. Logan was impressed, knowing how her mother had accepted very little help from her parents, but not really surprised, having gotten a glimpse of the Gilmore essence himself.
As they kept talking, they got the check, deciding to give the gelateria a few blocks away a try instead.
A big party of 12 was leaving the restaurant just as they were and they let the elevator fill up several times and make its way downstairs over and over again without them. There were a few other people who'd emerged from the restaurant in the meanwhile, leaving them thinking they might just stay up there forever. As they waited, there was just that tension - this dinner had been more about the friendship than the romance, leaving it very much in the air for when that tension was to be broken. Who was supposed to make the move? When was the right time? Were they supposed to take full advantage of the time they had here, that including anything physical or really take their time as they'd discussed?
The elevator finally pinged, alerting its arrival. It was their turn. But just as the doors opened, the elderly couple who'd been waiting with them, realized they'd forgotten something and went back to get it.
They were both kind of amused for finally having the elevator to themselves after so many being filled to the brim earlier. Now there was actual air to breathe.
The two stood in the middle of the elevator, leaning slightly against the back wall, letting the tension carry.
Rory held onto her purse, but her hand slipped, having held on a little too hard in her nervousness. Her fingers touched his by accident. The gentle touch was electric.
Rory jumped slightly at that touch, having nearly forgotten what that was like.
Logan chuckled at her response, always having kind of enjoyed seeing her all nervous like this. It was the game they'd once played, and not just once but many times.
"Yeah, to hell with being just friends," Logan mumbled, making a sudden move. His palm held onto her head and pulled her close for an intense unapologetic kiss before pushing her willingly against the wall.
Rory kissed back, despite being slightly taken off guard, and let her stomach fill with butterflies like it had many times before. Her hips pushed against him, needily, having a mind of their own. There was such familiarity yet excitement in that kiss, he still tasted the same to her. It was now as the elevator pinged, altering its arrival on the ground floor, Rory fully realized how much she'd really missed him with her entire body, not just her brain.