Different Seasons: Fall- Chapter 7: Remembrances of Times Past

A/N: Welcome back all! Thank you as always for the wonderful comments. They are very encouraging. This chapter touches on occurrences from the first story in this arc: House Room 1. It does reference a main character death but doesn't go much into it if you'd like to skip that. We do get a bit of an uplift in the tone by the end though.

As always I do not own Fruits Basket.

Tori Soldiers on

The next morning our family slowly emerged from the fog brought on by the sake. I rose before everyone as usual and began cooking the drunkard's breakfast knowing full well we all could use its restorative qualities that morning. Chris rose next as, like me, he had been conservative with the amount he had imbibed. I handed him a cup of tea and he quietly nodded his thanks.

After a minute, the tea kicked in, and he smiled at me and said,

"I wanted to thank you again for last night. You don't know how much it meant."

"Well I can't pretend to know your pain completely, but I can at least commiserate a bit. Birthdays were few and far between in the Sohma households. So we tend to make a lot of them."

"Well I deeply appreciate it. Ever since I met Gure I've felt like I've been transported to a different world."

I chuckled and said,

"Sometimes literally from what I understand."

"Yes, well when Gure said his family was complicated I never imagined that. But I must say it is thrilling at times."

His face got a bit of a glow to it as if he were remembering past escapades. He looked up at me and said,

"Did the Dragon…."

"Things were quite different between me and the Dragon."

"Ah, my apologies. I was just curious."

"It's natural. No, the Dragon was hostile to the end. While Mayu and I will be having a wedding before the Kami, she has made it clear that she wants nothing to do with them. I hope to talk to Kureno about that today. Provided that he isn't completely indisposed."

We sat in silence while I stirred the eggs for the omelets I was making. I looked back at Chris and asked,

"Would you be offended if I asked what's it like? I've not gotten a chance to sit down with Gure and really talk about it."

I didn't get my answer as Mayu joined us. She looked quite bleary and greeted us with a nod. I handed her a cup of tea and she made a noise in thanks. Apparently her world was still spinning. I handed her a glass of water and told her to drink it. I was resigned to the fact that any talk about the Kami would have to wait until she was away. Aya and Mine arrived next. They were giggling so I had a feeling their lateness had little to do with the effects of the Sake as I had heard the shower running in the guest bathroom earlier. They were quite happy to have the tea as well. Gure finally emerged when the eggs were done. I took one look at him and handed him a glass of water.

"Drink."

"Yes, yes Dr. Sohma."

I then handed him his tea along with his eggs and toast. We ate in silence as the effects of the food and caffeine took hold. Once we were alive once again I asked if anyone was going to join me at the compound to remember the Sohmas who had passed on, It was the National Day of Remembrance and I always paid my respects at the family cemetery. I asked the company if anyone was available to accompany me to the compound to say prayers for those who had passed on.

Mayu said, "I'm going to visit my grandparent's graves with my parents. But do say a prayer for me."

Gure looked sheepish mumbling he had some writing to do but if I needed to stop in for a drink that I was most welcome. And Aya said,

"I'm swamped."

I understood. Of all of us I was the most connected to the family, so as usual I served as the representative for our group at the annual event. They would be remembered either way so I wasn't going to make a big deal of it.

"Aright. I'll go and say prayers in your stead. I'll take you up on that invite however Gure."

We finished breakfast and prepared for the day. For me, this included preparing offerings for my Grandmother and mother. While I always took part in the annual ritual, I was very much thinking of my mother, as Aya was in the process of replicating her wedding kimono. So I found myself taking more care with my preparations. After the food were ready, I dressed in one of my better suits and said goodbye to everyone. Hugging Mayu I said,

"Say prayers for your relatives for me. I'll see you later."

"See you soon."

I kissed her and hugged everyone else as we split for the day. As Gure and Chris left I said,

"I'll see you later too."

"See you soon."

Arriving at the compound, I set out towards the Sohma family cemetery, which was set aside in a quiet grove of evergreens. Carrying my grandmothers' and my mothers' favorite foods (as per my father) for offerings as well as a bucket of water to wash their grave, I approached the enclosed space but paused before entering the gates that set the cemetery apart from the trees. I saw that Kureno was there, tending to Akito's grave so I turned away, meaning to give him some privacy, but he heard me approach and beckoned to me. I bowed to him, saying,

"I'm sorry Kureno, I didn't mean to intrude."

"You're not intruding, you simply had the same idea as I."

We quietly went about our tasks; lighting incense, washing their graves, leaving offerings, saying prayers, and remembering the dead. After we had finished he suggested that we take tea, as it was nearly lunchtime, and so we made our way to his house. Kureno smiled at me, and he looked so content but of course he had not forgotten his first love. I hadn't either. And while Kana was still very much alive, I had also gone through my own period of mourning. But whereas I had nearly emerged from my mourning period. Kureno likely had a long way to go. Holding the warm cup in his hands against the growing chill in the air, he smiled and said,

"I like this time of year Tori; it is a time of reflection. No one questions you if you spend time wrapped up in your thoughts of the past as time has been set aside just for that. But I'm glad that I realize now that one cannot dwell in one's memory house all the time without poking one's head out the windows to see the real world. I must say I have felt like I have emerged from a darkened room into the bright light. It's a bit disorienting. However, Kiro has been patient with me and has given me as much time to navigate the contrast. Especially since I was in the darkness for so long."

"I'm glad you are happy."

"I am nearing there."

He closed his eyes for a minute, then he said,

"You are a different person now Tori. Even from the time you first came to visit me with Mayu. I've heard from your father that you will be married outside the family shrine and that Mayu plans on wearing a kimono based on your mother's. I will be happy to officiate your wedding."

"We'd like that. Although, I think we could probably do without the binding spell."

"It's not necessary in your case. The broken bonds that tied Gure to me and the Dog needed to be rewoven as part of the breaking of the curse. Leaving them destabilized would have been detrimental. However," he smiled, "you and Mayu might want to talk to Gure and Chris. You might decide you'd like to reconsider."

"I highly doubt Mayu wants to have anything to do with the Kami or the spirit world. So something that would cosmically change us would likely not go over well. She wasn't thrilled to learn that they can show up if they wanted to."

"Well I understand her reticence. The Dragon wasn't kind. "

"No. He wasn't."

Seeing that I was recalling difficult memories, he said,

"Well that's all in the past. The Kami will likely be respectful. All of them are pleased that you are finally marrying as you're likely to bring another Sohma into the world, another who will pay homage to them. Prayers give them power and keep them from fading away in this bustling modern world. It wouldn't be wise to deny them however, as their blessing can go far."

"Yes, I know the drill. Appease them or they will do horrible things."

"You've got it."

I sighed.

"Well I hope they're gentle. Mayu's parents will be there of course, and they're not religious in any stretch of the imagination. I don't think they've ever been to a Shinto ceremony."

"Well I'll invite them to tea and let them know what to expect."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"Of course, any time."

He leaned back in his relaxed manner and said,

"I honestly can't believe that it's only been a few months. So much has happened since February. Fortunately I haven't had time to feel much of anything so I've been able to push through."

He was absolutely right. The last months had been a complete whirlwind of activity. Fortunately I had long since developed the ability to center myself through meditation and martial arts but I wondered how Kureno was really doing. He of course had a brave front on as he had to act as the Family's center and couldn't show his emotions fully. He had been merely stoic in the cemetery, showing nothing beyond a slight frown on his normally sunny face. I hoped he wasn't completely shattered behind that mask of calm. Knowing that bottling everything inside caused so much more damage than riding the waves of the sadness, no matter how difficult to handle it was, i put my hand on his arm and asked him earnestly,

"How are you really doing?"

He tensed, sat up straight, paused, and finally said,

"Well of course it has been very difficult as I'm sure you can imagine. Akito's death was tragic and I have spent many days just going through the motions. I'm still shattered inside and sometimes getting up is a real triumph. But to be honest Akito hadn't been himself for a very long time. In his most lucid moments he said he often thought it would be better if he just let go and stop fighting but he kept on as he knew he had to bring the game to an end. He was in such pain at the end. I'm relieved that he finally found the peace he so needed. And while I'm still simply gutted, I've started to put the pieces back together."

His voice was starting to break at the end so I squeezed his hand and gave him a moment to collect himself. Kureno sighed, sat for a minute and finally said,

"Well it never really was meant to be. I'm sorry you were caught up in all that. That you all were."

Kureno's insight into Akito's last days made me pause. It was so difficult to think of that time without anger. But when I was reminded that he had fought against the God who took complete hold of him and finally took him down, my feelings toward our former patriarch became even more complicated. This was especially true since I had experienced a similar internal war, albeit on a smaller scale. Kureno caught my confused look and obviously interpreted it as guilt. He patted my arm and said,

"Well, I know there was nothing anyone could have done for him. Including you. So don't feel guilty for what happened."

"I don't really. I'm just vacillating between feelings at the moment."

We sat is silence, caught up in remembering those who had past on. But then Kureno smiled sadly, saying,

"Well, while we both have been called to move on rather forcefully, we seem to have found our way eventually."

He relaxed again and said with a smile,

"Kiro has been so sweet through all of this and has made things much easier to handle. It's still hard, but the blows are softer with him beside me."

A question popped into my head but I stopped myself from asking it and tried to cover my querying look by drinking a sip of tea. Kureno caught my covering move and said,

"Never feel like you have to censor yourself with me Tori. You're my friend so my position as Head of Family should never stop you from asking anything you like. I might not answer but I will never see you as impertinent for asking difficult questions."

I set the fragile cup down, took a breath and asked,

"So what does the family think?"

He clearly expected the question and calmly answered,

"Well they don't know about Kiro really beyond that he's a friend of Chris' who had started to visit the compound. As the Head of Family, I'm afforded a bit of invisibility as people generally don't dare ask questions but rather decide they haven't seen what they've seen or wont talk about it if they know something they don't want to know. It was the same with Akito and I. Ive found this to be very isolating as it keeps me at arms length with almost everyone in the family but in this instance it works quite well for my purposes. Plus I've been benefitting from the smokescreen created by you and Gure. Everyone has been so focused on you that they haven't been paying attention to the young man who has been showing up to events at the compound lately. Chris has been a wonderful help as he provides an alibi for his presence. And if Kiro avails himself of the guest house after a late night event no one blinks an eye as I've made it clear he is an honored guest."

I smiled as I was amused that I was serving as cover for a budding relationship . The thought that the two were carrying on a relationship underneath the family's noses was both humorous and sad.

Well I'm happy to give you a bit of cover. But is Kiro ok with that?"

"To be honest he's still a bit gobsmacked by the Sohmas. He's from a poor family so he's not used to such largesse. He's said he's happy to be seen as Chris' friend for the time being as he's afraid of what will happen when he is revealed as the Head of Family's boyfriend."

"Well I'm glad you've found each other."

"Thank you. And thank you for listening. This is the first time I've really talked about this."
"You're welcome."

I felt my phone vibrate and realized that it was getting late. I smiled, saying,

"Well speaking of Chris I need to get going as I promised to meet up with him them before I go home for dinner. Are you going to be ok?"

He smiled and rose, saying,

"I'll be fine. I'm meeting up with Kiro later. Again thank you Tori, this has been wonderful. We should do this more often."
"Absolutely."

I began to bow to him but he stopped me and asked if he could hug me. I nodded and he hugged me tightly, clearly taking comfort in the closeness. He generally existed in an unapproachable bubble that kept him isolated. I could tell the formality of his position didn't sit well with him. I was glad that our little circle could give him the closeness he clearly craved.

"Thank you Tori. "
"You're welcome.
He drew back and said,

"Oh, on a related subject, let's set up a tea with Mayu's parents so they don't get blindsided by everything. I'll tell them what to expect and give them a tour"
"Oh yes. Definitely. And if you could have a chat with their nibs I'd greatly appreciate it."
"I can suggest strongly but I can't promise anything."
"I get that."
I said my final goodbyes and made my way to Gure's and Chris after texting,
"On my way."

Gure Has Writer's Block

When I got home I sat at my desk but found I had writer's block. I felt a bit guilty for making Haa-san go to the cemetery alone but I never felt comfortable putting my feelings aside to venerate those who 'didn't care for me. My feeling were so strong that I just couldn't swallow them down to say the prayers. They tasted like so much ash in my mouth and I knew I would have choked on my untrue wishes for their eternal happiness in the spirit world. And I knew Aya felt the same. This was especially true in the case of Akito. The fact that Haa-san was able to carry on despite everything likely spoke to his years of repressing his emotions. As I sat looking at the blank page I figured I was being punished by the gods for my disloyalty. So, after spending the day doodling, I finally sat staring out the window watching the sun slip down into the cherry grove that surrounded my house. I wondered where Haa-san had gotten to. Finally I texted him and asked,

"Are you ok?"
He texted back
"I'm on my way."

I got up as I was clearly not going to get anything done and flopped down on the couch next to Chris and said,

"Writer's block strikes."

He kissed my forehead and said,
"I'll inspire you later."

He then looked at his watch and asked,
"Wow it's gotten late. Is Tori coming this evening?"

"Yes he says he's on his way. I bet he needed to console Kureno. It must have been so hard for him today. I feel a bit guilty for not going but it's likely better that I wasn't there. Haa-san is far more diplomatic. I'd likely have said something like, "good riddance" or something equally unhelpful."

"Well sometimes the best thing is to let the grieving talk without interruption and Tori excels at that so he was likely the best to go."

I sighed and said,

"The gods are punishing me for my disloyalty by giving me a case of writers block."
"You likely have writers block because you feel guilty."
"You're right as always."

I kissed him and settled my head on his shoulder, feeling the guilt rise in me. Haa-san arrived soon after. As it was too chilly to gather on the porch that had heard so many of our conversations, he joined us in the living room. Sitting down he closed his eyes for a minute as if enjoying the peace.

Chris Lightens the Mood

When Tori seemed to have recovered I asked,

"How is Kureno doing?"

"He was putting on a brave front but I encouraged him to tell me how he's really feeling. And you can imagine how that is. Oh I have to thank you and Gure. Chris for making things easier for him to date Kiro."

"Well having been there I couldn't not. They are very sweet together."

He smiled as if thinking of the two together."

I then thought back to the morning and asked,

"Was there something you had wanted to ask this morning?"

He blinked as if the morning was far removed from his mind but he finally found his way back. He said,

"Well I'm not sure it's quite appropriate given the day."

Gure, who was still feeling a bit out of sorts, responded with ribald humor to deflect his unease,

"I bet I know what he wants to know. He wants to ask this old married couple what to do on his wedding night!"

He laughed and said,

"Well we've had similar conversations before so go ahead, what is your advice?"

The two of us looked at each other as our wedding night had been a bit unconventional. I turned back and said,

"No I know what he wants to ask. It's amazing Tori. The bond between us just heightens everything."

Gure said,

"Ahh yes. there is nothing like it. It's almost overwhelming."
"Well I'm almost positive that Mayu would never go for it. I was just curious."
"Understandable. It is quite an experience."

He smiled and said,

"But seriously you two, What is your advice for this young man who is about to take to take the plunge into married life?"

I smiled and said,

"Just enjoy every minute. If Mayu is anything to you like Gure is to me, you've found someone who completes you. I can't say it will be smooth sailing always, but you've got someone to navigate the hard seas with. And I wish you two the very best as you've always made me feel so welcome."

He looked like he was tearing up and he hugged me tightly saying,

"Thank you Chris."

Wanting to raise the mood again I smiled at him and said,

"While we're asking about things do you mind if I ask you a favor?"

"Anything."

After a beat he added, "Within reason."

I laughed, saying,

"It's nothing like that. But it does include Gure."

He looked semi-skeptical and repeated,

"Within reason Chris."

I pressed on saying,

"I've always been interested in martial arts and I would love to watch you and Gure spar. "

"I think we could manage that. But I have a feeling this has little to do with your love of martial arts."

I smiled saying,

"I'm allowed to enjoy things on several levels."

He was a good sport as I knew he would be and so he gamely added,

"Not only will I throw your loving husband across the room for your viewing pleasure but, if you like, I'll teach you how to do so yourself."

"Now wait!" Gure protested. "Maybe I'll do the throwing."
"Highly doubtful."
"Oh now it's on."

It was quite amusing to watch them trash talk each other. Clearly they needed to blow off steam and this provided them the needed levity. After several minutes of casting disparaging remarks at the other's martial talents they decided that they would spar the next afternoon and the winner would have the privilege of teaching me how to throw the loser across the room.

Tori Gets Going

My phone rang and Mayu asked if I would be home soon,
"Oh I'm sorry darling, it's been a bit of a long day. I'm still at Gure's and Chris'."

"Well could you bring something in when you come as I don't really feel like making anything and I'm sure you don't either."
"I can do that. Be home soon."

I hugged Gure and Chris and said I'd see them the next day.
Gure yelled,
"You're going down Sohma!"
"Right. Keep dreaming."

Mayu Wonders Where Tori Got To

The day had gone quite peacefully. My grandparents had passed on in their sleep within days of each other and had always said that they would meet each other in the hereafter. I knew Tori wouldn't have as easy a time as I but when the sun began to set I worried and gave him a call. I was reassured when I heard his voice. He brought in sushi and I let him eat dinner in peace before asking how the day was. We went and sat on the couch and he regaled me with the days events. After he finished I said,

"Well that was quite a day."

He looked exhausted so I led him to bed and held him close. Kissing him on the forehead I said,

"You are really a wonderful friend Tori. And I love you for it."

He had fallen asleep. Clearly the day had taken its toll. I snuggled in next to him and drifted off as well.

A/N: So that the only chapter with a bit of sadness. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled program of planning for the wedding next chapter. Please R and R and as always I reman, Acta!