Steven returned to his motel room late in the evening. A day of shooting out in Sloan Canyon had worn him out, and he was ready for a hot shower and a decent meal.
He set down his takeout bag, along with his pack and camera bag and decided to make the shower his first order of business. This was his last assignment for a while, then he would finally head home for a while, just in time to enjoy the all-too-short Alaskan summer.
As he got in the shower and lathered up, it occurred to him that he was close enough to give John a call. He hadn't talked to the man in a while, though he'd sent regular letters to him from everywhere he'd been out on assignment lately.
But even those phone calls only stoked his desire for John, and Steven yearned to see him again. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince John to come to Alaska this summer.
He knew it wasn't realistic, but Steven allowed himself to indulge in the thought for a good long while as he showered. It would have to do until he managed to see the man again.
When he did see him again…well, he was getting ahead of himself, he knew that.
It wasn't quite as late as he thought, so after he finished his meal, he flopped down on the bed and dialed John's number. After a few rings, when he didn't pick up, Steven hung up and called the station.
"Los Angeles County Station Fifty-One, this is Captain Stanley." The captain answered.
Steven had called the station a couple of times, but it was always a little nerve-wracking to talk to the captain. "Hello, is John available?"
There was a long pause. "John's not here."
Steven huffed in frustration. "Damn."
"Wait." Captain Stanley spoke again. "I'm sorry. Been a rough couple of days around here. You're John's friend, right?"
"Yes, that's right." Steven's frustration eased a little. "Is John okay?"
He heard the captain take a deep breath and exhale. "John's in the hospital. Got hit by a drunk driver a few nights ago. He's busted up pretty badly, but he'll live."
"Shit." Steven murmured before realizing who he was talking to. "Sorry, didn't mean to say that."
There was another long pause before Captain Stanley chuckled softly. "I take no offense. Heard far worse over the years. He's been cleared for visitors if you'd like to go see him. Seems they're planning on keeping him for a while, and well, I think he'd appreciate the company."
Steven scrambled to find his memo pad and a pen. "You wouldn't happen to have his room information, would you?"
"Sure." Captain Stanley answered. "I'll give you the phone number there, too, if you want."
"That'd be great, thanks." Steven was mildly surprised that the captain was willing to give out the information, but he was grateful.
He quickly wrote down the room information. "I appreciate this. Thank you."
"Oh, happy to do it." Captain Stanley replied. "Figure you must be pretty important, the way you call up here all the time."
Steven felt the heat rush to his face, grateful that the captain couldn't see him. "Something like that."
They spoke for a brief moment before Steven hung up. He stared at the piece of paper. He wouldn't be able to make it tonight, but if he went early enough in the day, he could see John for a while.
He'd had a good day of shooting, he figured. Losing a day or so to go see John wouldn't make that much of a difference.
He dialed the number Captain Stanley had given him, waiting while it rang. Finally, someone picked up. "Hello?"
It was John's voice, but it sure didn't sound like him. "John?"
There was a long pause. "How'd you get this number?"
"Well, I just got in from a day of shooting, figured I'd give you a call." Steven explained. "And when you didn't answer at home, I called your station. Your captain told me what happened. Are you okay?"
There was a brief silence. "I will be, eventually. Got busted up pretty good. I'm still in traction. Gonna be here a while."
It hurt to hear the sadness in John's voice. "Well, I'm just over the state line in Nevada. Probably only a few hours' drive from you if you want some company."
John let out a short laugh at that. "You don't have to do that."
"Your captain mentioned that you might like the company." Steven countered. "And I've been wanting to see you again for a while."
Another silence. "I'm not going to be great company."
"Doesn't matter to me." Steven told him. "Unless you don't want me to come see you."
"It's up to you." John answered tiredly. "I mean, I'm not going anywhere."
"Then I'll come see you." Steven decided to leave no room for argument. "I'll leave here in the morning and be there by early afternoon."
"Okay." John sounded a little less tired now. "I'll see you then. Might look a little rough, just so you know."
"I like you a little rough." Steven couldn't help teasing him.
John managed a quiet laugh, lifting Steven's spirits, and hopefully John's as well. "I'll let you get some rest. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay."
With that, Steven hung up and settled back on the bed. He wasn't going to worry too much about John, not until he got to see him for himself, anyway. And that would be soon enough.
# # #
Steven woke up early the next morning, slightly disoriented in the darkness. He reached over to turn on the bedside light and got dressed before going through the rest of his morning routine.
Today he wouldn't be heading out into the mountains. No, today he was on a different mission. Not the pleasure trip he had hoped for, but he still wanted to see John no matter what condition he was in.
Once he stopped in at a gas station for a fill-up and a cup of coffee, he was on his way, the light growing brighter as he drove, the miles piling up as he tried to keep his mind occupied.
He couldn't help the worry that intruded every so often, even as he tried to brush it aside. He shouldn't be so worried about John. After all, despite the phone calls and letters, they didn't know each other all that well. For all Steven knew, there was someone else occupying John's time.
Well, if that was the case, he would step aside. It wasn't as if they would have had any sort of future anyway. To think otherwise was utterly ridiculous and Steven knew it.
Still, there was something about John that made it impossible to let him go.
Finally, he arrived in Los Angeles, checking the directions he had written down based on the map he had picked up during one of his other excursions out here. The traffic was murder, and Steven found his impatience growing. He couldn't imagine living here. No wonder John escaped to the mountains and forests whenever he could. This shit probably drove him crazy, too.
He pulled into the visitors parking lot at the hospital and went inside, stepping on an elevator with an orderly, a nurse, and two doctors.
The nurse spoke first. "Has anyone told Johnny about Roy and Marco?"
"I don't know." One of the doctors answered, a dark-haired man with a rich, resonant voice. "I'd imagine once he found out, he'd find a way to get to them to see them."
"He'd better not." The nurse spoke sharply. "If he even thinks about getting out of that bed…"
"Now, Dix." Another doctor, a kindly, grey-haired man, gently laid a hand on the nurse's shoulder. "I'm sure they're keeping a close eye on him. He's in no condition to go anywhere."
The nurse let out a short sigh, a worried expression on her face. "Bad night for Fifty-One, for sure."
Steven's heart sank at that. No wonder Captain Stanley had sounded so tired when he'd answered the phone. Steven knew from conversations with John that they were a small crew, only six of them, counting the captain. To have three of their crew down must be a heavy blow.
The elevator doors opened, and Steven followed the nurse and the two doctors down the hallway. It didn't take him long to realize that they were all going to the same room.
The nurse turned around as they all approached the room. "Can I help you?"
"Oh, I'm sorry." Steven was suddenly embarrassed, chastened by the nurse's steely expression. "I'm just here to visit a friend of mine."
The nurse arched an eyebrow before looking at the grey-haired doctor, who smiled ever so slightly. "Would that friend happen to be John Gage?" He asked Steven.
"As it happens, yes." Steven answered carefully. He didn't know how much John had talked about him.
The nurse glanced at the two doctors, and they seemed to come to some sort of agreement. "Why don't you go in and see him? We'll come check in on him later." The dark-haired doctor suggested.
"Thank you." Steven nodded. "I'll try not to stay too long."
The grey-haired doctor smiled. "I wouldn't worry too much about that."
With that, Steven opened the door as the others turned to go back down the hallway, and he slipped inside and closed the door behind him.
John's eyes were closed, a magazine across his chest and the television on. Steven almost hated to disturb him, so he quietly made his way to John's bedside, pulling a chair closer and taking a seat.
His leg was in a cast, held in place by a traction device. There were tubes and IV lines snaking out of him, a monitor beeping quietly nearby. God, he must have been worse off that he'd let on.
John shifted slightly, knocking the magazine aside, and it slid to the floor. Steven immediately picked it up and started flipping through it, the memories rushing back as he stopped to peruse the photographs.
They had turned out remarkably well, and Steven was pleased. There were times when he would pick apart his own work when it was published, but this time he saw nothing but the natural beauty he had captured.
Of course, the companion he'd had on that trip might have had something to do with it.
A noise caught Steven's attention, and he looked up to see John stirring, blinking as he shifted around and finally turned his head to look at him.
"What're you doing here?" John asked.
"I told you I was coming to see you." Steven set the magazine aside. "Remember?"
"Forgot." John muttered, reaching for the Styrofoam cup on the tray table and taking a drink.
"Or you didn't think I was serious." Steven countered.
John shot him a baleful look before setting the cup down. "Aren't you on assignment or something?"
"I am." Steven replied. "But I can take a few hours to come see you."
John's expression changed to something more thoughtful. "You didn't have to."
"I know I didn't." Steven answered. "But I wanted to. Wanted to see for myself that you were okay."
John managed a slight crooked smile at that. "I will be eventually, I think. Maybe. Busted up my tibia and femur, had to have my spleen removed, and I broke a few ribs. Only part of me that's not busted is my head, and that's only because I had my helmet on."
"Good thing."
"You have no idea." John told him. "I kinda have a bad habit of losing the thing. The one time it stayed on…well, we probably wouldn't be here talking if it hadn't. Car was going at a pretty good clip when it got me."
"Your captain said it was a drunk driver?"
"Yeah, hit and run, the coward." John huffed. "Guess when they picked the guy up, he had no idea he'd even hit anything."
"Jesus." Steven was appalled. "You could have been killed."
"You don't have to tell me." John answered.
Steven reached for John's hand, and the other man jumped at the touch, glancing around before curling his fingers around Steven's hand.
"Kinda wanted to see you again." John told him. "Not like this, though."
"It certainly wasn't what I had in mind."
"I'll bet." John replied quietly before seeming to catch himself. "I mean, well, you know."
His eyes flicked over to the magazine Steven still had in his hand. "Checked some of those photos out. Pretty amazing."
Steven couldn't help smiling at that. "Thank you. And thanks for finding the place. It was…an inspiring trip all around."
John released Steven's hand and picked up the letter from the tray table. "Was gonna read this, but I didn't get a chance. See it's postmarked North Dakota."
"I had an assignment in the Black Hills. I sent you some pictures."
John's face lit up at that, and he immediately tore into the envelope, setting the letter itself aside in favor of poring over the photographs. "Man. Unbelievable. I can't believe you get to do this for a living."
Steven laughed. "Sometimes have to remind myself of that when the work dries up. It's a very feast-or-famine way to make a living."
John shrugged at that. "Seems like I'm always getting beat up on the job. Comes with the territory. Suppose the good days still outnumber the bad, you know? Guess I'll keep doing it as long as I can."
Steven was all too aware of the nature of John's work, and he was often surprised at how casual he was when he described a situation that seemed absolutely terrifying.
Better John than him, Steven had decided. There was no way he could do what John did.
"You ever wonder what else you'd be doing?" John suddenly asked. "You know, if you weren't a photographer."
"No idea." Steven was slightly thrown by the question. "Maybe working in the mines or in an oil field."
"Huh." John looked thoughtful as he perused the rest of the photographs.
"What about you?" Steven asked in an attempt to keep the conversation going.
John frowned. "Didn't have much of a plan. No plan at all. Thought about trying to break into the movies or something, but that didn't go anywhere. My roommate at the time was a cop, but I didn't wanna do that, either. Saw something for the fire academy and signed up. Trained in rescue and well, that was kinda that."
"Hmm, I could see you as an actor." Steven commented casually. "You've got the looks for it, anyway."
"Yeah, but not the ability." John answered dryly. "I don't know, just always kinda get to thinking about things whenever I get hurt. Try to think of what else I could do."
"I don't think you have to worry about that." Steven quickly assured him.
"'Course I do." John scoffed. "All of us do. Or should. Lots of guys get in a real bad spot, you know, when they can't do this anymore."
John's expression darkened ever so briefly before he shook his head and set the photos aside. "What are you working on, anyway?" He asked.
Steven was relieved at the change in subject. "Sloan Canyon for Travel magazine. It's pretty rough territory, lots of desert and some mountains. I'm getting some good shots. Ever been?"
"Not yet." John answered with a hint of a smile. "I'll add it to my list. Sounds like my kind of place."
"You would definitely dig it." Steven replied, continuing to talk about all that he had found in his short time there.
John seemed absolutely spellbound, hanging on to every word. "That's it. Next vacation, I'm gonna go."
Steven couldn't help teasing John just a little. "Thought you were going to come to Alaska."
John's expression sobered almost immediately. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to. You make it sound good. But…"
He trailed off, and Steven could already imagine the excuses. It was too far, too expensive, all good reasons, to be sure. But that didn't keep Steven from wanting to find a way to get John up there one day.
Steven reached for John's hand again, giving it a quick squeeze. "We don't have to talk about that right now. Let's get you out of here and back on your feet first."
John managed a slight smile at that, squeezing Steven's hand in return. "Sure, yeah."
The door opened, and John quickly released Steven's hand. The nurse that Steven had run into earlier entered, greeting John with a warm smile.
John, for his part, seemed to perk up a little, shifting so that he was sitting up a little straighter. "Hey, Dix."
"Hello, Johnny." The nurse made her way to John's bedside. "Are they treating you alright up here?"
"Yeah." John nodded. "Just ready to get out of here."
The nurse smiled slightly. "I'm sure you are. It's nice to see you've got some company."
"Oh, yeah." John looked a little embarrassed. "Dix, this is my…friend, Steven. Steven, Dixie McCall, the real boss of the emergency room. Everyone thinks Brackett's the boss, but it's really Dixie."
Dixie looked greatly amused. "Steven, it's lovely to meet you."
"Likewise." Steven nodded.
John turned his attention back to Dixie. "Have you seen Roy?"
Dixie looked troubled, and something clutched at Steven. He'd heard the name as he'd overheard the conversation between Dixie and the two doctors but didn't feel right saying anything without knowing more.
"Johnny, Roy and Marco were hurt in that structure fire a couple of nights ago." Dixie told him calmly.
John looked alarmed. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?! Are they okay?"
"They're fine, Johnny." Dixie assured him, though it didn't seem to do much to ease John's agitation. "They'll be out and home in a couple of days. We just didn't see any reason to worry you. You have your own recovery to worry about."
John settled back with a scowl, clearly displeased with Dixie's explanation. "Still should have told me."
"And if we had, what would you have done?" Dixie challenged him with an arched eyebrow. "You would have tried to escape and we would have been chasing you all over this hospital. No, you need to stay put for now."
John's scowl smoothed out, replaced by an expression of resignation. "You'll tell them I'm thinking of them, right?"
"Of course, I will." Dixie assured him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "And as soon as they're able, I'm sure they'll come see you."
John nodded, though he didn't look as if he was convinced. "Suppose you're right."
"I have to get going, but I'll be sure to give you an update on Roy and Marco later, okay?" Dixie told him.
"Okay." John replied. "And, uh, thanks."
Dixie smiled at John, nodded at Steven, then left the room. As soon as she closed the door, John let out a heavy sigh. "You know, I remember hearing Cap talking on the TV. Guess I didn't put it all together. Been kinda in and out the last few days."
"I'm sure they're going to be fine." Steven tried to assure him.
"Oh, sure." John answered, though he didn't sound convinced. "Hey, listen, you should probably get going. Got a long drive back to wherever you are, right?"
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Steven tried to tease him.
John turned red under his tan skin. "Well, no, but you don't need to be here. You heard Dixie. I'm not going anywhere for a while."
"Maybe I'll just stick close by." Steven offered. "I don't have another assignment planned after this. I was going to go home, but—"
"You should." John cut him off. "I'll be fine."
"I'll tell you what." Steven countered. "Why don't I finish up this assignment, then figure it out from there?"
"There's nothing to figure out." John answered sharply. "You finish up whatever you're doing, you go home. When was the last time you were home?"
Steven hated to admit that John had a point. "It has been…a while."
"Exactly." John told him. "So, go home. I'll write you or something."
Steven couldn't help feeling as if he were being dismissed. It seemed to run counter to all the phone conversations they'd had over the last few months. He was baffled by John's sudden change in attitude. "Well, maybe I'll check in before I go home. You know, just to make sure you're doing okay. And if it turns out you need a little extra help once you get out of here—"
"That's not your problem." John cut him off again. "I'm telling you, I'll be fine."
Steven exhaled sharply, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his temples. "John, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Aside from the obvious?"
"Yes."
John looked away, playing with a loose string on his blanket. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just don't want you putting your life on hold for me. I mean, we barely know each other."
"That's not true and you know it." Steven answered. "I've learned a hell of a lot about you in all those phone conversations we've had. Don't tell me we haven't gotten to know each other."
A knock on the door, followed by it opening and someone poking their head in, interrupted their conversation. "Johnny?"
"Oh, hey Joanne." John's expression changed completely, lighting up as the woman entered the room.
Joanne glanced between John and Steven, a questioning expression on her face. "Am I interrupting?"
"Oh, no, no." John assured her. "How's Roy doing?"
"Much better." Joanne told him as she approached his bedside. "He should be out in a couple of days. What about you? Roy was terribly worried."
"I'm okay." John told her. "Still gonna be here a while."
"Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call." Joanne replied. "Between you and Roy I'm going to be up here plenty over the next couple of days."
"Don't worry about me." John answered, his brow wrinkling slightly. "Take care of Roy."
Joanne folded her arms over her chest. "Of course, I'm going to worry about you. Don't be ridiculous."
Steven had the feeling he was very much in the way. "Listen, I should probably get going, let you two visit."
"Oh, I didn't mean to chase you out." Joanne replied. "And I don't believe we've met."
Steven rose from the chair and extended a hand across John's bed. "Steven. Friend of John's."
Joanne took his extended hand, her face suddenly lighting up with recognition.
"The photographer. My husband was just telling me about you."
Steven glanced over at John, whose expression was unreadable. "Is that so?"
"Oh, yes." Joanne answered with a nod. "When Roy was up here visiting Johnny, he brought all these magazines. Apparently some of your pictures were in them?"
Steven smiled at that. "Yes. I'm a freelance photographer."
"How exciting." Joanne beamed. "You know, Johnny's quite the photographer himself."
"Not really, Joanne." John managed to cut in.
"Oh, don't be silly, Johnny." Joanne replied before turning her attention back to Steven. "At any rate, it's lovely to meet you. I'm glad to see Johnny having some company."
John let out a quiet sigh that only Steven seemed to catch. If Joanne heard him, she didn't let on.
"Johnny, do you need anything from your place?" Joanne asked.
John shook his head. "Roy brought me a bunch of stuff the last time he came to see me. I'll be okay for a while."
"If you say so." Joanne responded, leaning down to hug John gently. "But if you do need anything, just call, okay?"
"I will." John smiled ever so slightly.
Joanne seemed satisfied with John's response, patting him on the shoulder before nodding and smiling at Steven.
The door closed behind her, and John let out a short sigh, looking somewhat troubled.
"Something bothering you?" Steven asked.
"Not exactly." John answered. "Just thinking, you know."
Steven took a seat again. "About what?"
John huffed. "I don't know. Usually I'd go stay with Joanne and Roy to recover. You know, Joanne gets worried about me being at home by myself. But if she has to take care of Roy, too…well, I guess I don't want her bothering with that."
Steven saw his chance. "So, if you were to need some extra help—"
"Not saying that I do."
"Right, of course." Steven replied smoothly. "But let's just say that you did."
John's eyes flicked over to study Steven. "I guess that'd be okay. If I need it."
Steven couldn't help but feel a little triumphant at overcoming John's reluctance. "Yes, if you need it. I'll make the necessary arrangements. You know, just in case. It's always good to have a backup plan, right?"
"Right." John sighed and rested his head against the pillows.
Steven took that as his cue. "Okay, since you've had enough of me today, I'll go ahead and start back. If I'm lucky, I'll catch some good light, maybe get this assignment finished a little sooner than I planned."
John reached out as Steven rose from his chair, gripping Steven's hand tightly. "Thanks." He told Steven quietly. "I mean, even if I don't need your help, it's kinda good to know it's there."
Steven impulsively leaned over and kissed John's forehead. "I can't say it's the way I planned to see you again."
"Alaska. Right." John let out a short laugh.
"Maybe someday." Steven told him.
"Yeah, maybe."
With that, Steven squeezed John's hand one more time before leaving him, closing the door behind him. No, this trip wasn't going anything like the way he had hoped it would, but he was quickly learning that being around John was an exercise in expecting the unexpected.
The only thing he could be certain of was that there would be more of the unexpected to come.