Rachel walked by her office without stopping. Today she wasn't here on Wizengamot business. Not exactly, at least. She went through the doors that let out onto the rest of the second level of the Ministry, walked past the smaller courtrooms, by the Misuse of Magic offices, and then entered the auror and MLE patrol headquarters. There was a small group of people around the desks in the section for the MLE patrol, but they didn't look up as she went by. In the open area with the aurors' desks, there were only a few people and a quick glance told her that none of them were Tonks.
She was tempted to leave and try again another day, but she forced herself to walk towards where Kingsley was standing with his back towards her as he spoke with another auror. She saw the auror notice her and he jerked his head at Kingsley, who then turned around.
"Wizengamot Member Snow. How may we help you?" Kingsley asked, taking a few steps closer.
"Is- Is Tonks here?" Rachel asked. She liked Kingsley well enough, but she'd really rather do this with Tonks.
"She is. Did something happen in the Wizengamot chambers?" he asked, looking concerned.
"No, not exactly. I just wished to ask her about something. If she's not here, it can wait," Rachel said, not wanting to cause a fuss.
Kingsley turned back to the man he'd been speaking with. "Tonks is with Johansen and Diggory in the cells, could you get her for me?"
"Can do," the man said, nodding once and walking away.
Kingsley looked at Rachel again. "How are you finding the Wizengamot?"
Rachel searched for a diplomatic answer. "It's very…long winded."
Kingsley laughed quietly. "That it is. We draw straws for whoever is forced to guard the interior doors during Wizengamot meetings. Unfortunately that is one duty that doesn't go away with seniority. Madam Bones actually prefers senior aurors to take that responsibility as she trusts that we will use good judgment in responding to emerging situations between Wizengamot members."
Rachel felt her eyebrows rise. "Do Wizengamot members actually fight?"
"It's been twenty two years since the last time wands were drawn during a Wizengamot meeting, but sometimes it still comes very close. No auror wants to be forced to stun a Wizengamot member in the course of their job," Kingsley said, still looking mildly amused. "That sort of thing has a way of blocking career advancement. Let's just say there is a very good reason that Wizengamot offices are keyed only to the Wizengamot member whose office it is, their clerks, and occasionally an assigned auror."
She'd had no idea the Wizengamot was so contentious. It seemed utterly dry and boring to her for the most part.
"You are prepared for the trials that are to come?" he asked, looking his more usual somber.
"About as prepared as I can be, I suppose. I'm not entirely sure what to expect," she admitted.
"It will be unpleasant. You will hear many things that these Death Eaters have done that are rather harrowing. As I'm sure you're keenly aware, the Death Eaters do far more than kill with the Killing Curse."
She was far more aware of that than she wanted to be. She remembered many of the visions that she'd had, including the two revels that she'd witnessed, though she tried to push those memories away as much as possible without actually doing something with her mind magic. "I thought it was just going to be Veritaserum testimony?" she asked.
"Even the Veritaserum testimony can be detailed and gruesome. Victims are also given the opportunity to speak for themselves, though for these trials most of the victims are dead, missing, or the Death Eater does not know the names of the people they tortured," Kingsley explained. "It can also be disquieting to witness the Death Eaters pleading for their lives."
Rachel remembered Umbridge flopping over when her verdict was announced, how she had to be dragged from the courtroom. It would be disturbing to see that happen over and over again, especially since she would have a role in sending these people to Akzaban.
"They said there's about forty Death Eaters in custody?" she asked.
"That's right. We'll probably aim for four trials a week, which means you'll be sitting on trials for two days a week during September and October, in addition to whatever Wizengamot meetings they deem necessary. It should be over by mid November at the latest," he assured her.
She nodded. That sounded doable.
"Rachel?"
She turned to find Tonks hurrying up to her.
"What's going on?" Tonks asked, looking from Kingsley to Rachel.
"I was wondering if I could talk to you about something, something related to the MLE," Rachel said, hoping she was doing this right.
Tonks' brow furrowed but she nodded. "Sure. Let's go in one of the side rooms. Do you want Shacklebolt too?"
"Not right now," Rachel said, with an apologetic look at Kingsley.
Kingsley nodded. "Let me know if you need something."
Rachel followed Tonks into a room at the side. It wasn't quite an office, but there was a table with a few chairs around it. Tonks sat down and Rachel sat across from her.
"What's going on?" Tonks asked again.
Rachel reached for a starting place. "You know who Alfred Selwyn is, don't you?"
"I do," Tonks brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes, which was still a natural brown instead of the more wild colors Rachel was used to seeing on Tonks.
"He's a Death Eater," she said, though she was pretty sure Tonks knew that if Severus did.
Tonks nodded. "We know. Unfortunately we don't have any witnesses to that, so he's an unofficially suspected Death Eater. We can't forcibly question him without some solid evidence, not just of a crime, but of Death Eater activities."
"Does attending a meeting of known Death Eaters when the Dark Lord was there count as Death Eater activities?"
"If there were also crimes committed during that time, yes," Tonks said.
Rachel nodded. That's what she'd figured.
"Are you saying you know someone who was a witness to this?"
"I was." And Draco too, but she was going to try not to bring him into this.
Tonks looked concerned. "In one of your visions? Because I don't think we can use that as evidence, not without revealing to everyone else that you were having these visions, and even then, I'm not sure we could accept that."
Rachel shook her head. "He was at Malfoy Manor when…on that night in June. Two years ago."
"I remember. I was outside Malfoy Manor that night," Tonks said, looking uncharacteristically serious. "What did Alfred Selwyn do at this meeting? Was he wearing his mask?"
"No masks. They were in dress clothes, they weren't in the Death Eater cloaks and masks. They had a dinner that night." It felt funny to say that. It felt funny to think it. She'd been locked in a dungeon beneath Malfoy Manor and they'd been having a dinner party upstairs and preparing to torture her.
Tonks nodded. "What did you see Alfred Selwyn doing?"
"I only saw him for a few moments. He…" Rachel exhaled, feeling frustrated. She had to do better than this. "They took turns torturing me. He was one of the first ones. I saw his face before he pointed his wand at me."
"The Cruciatus Curse?"
Rachel nodded, her gaze fixed on the table.
"Did he do anything else that you saw?"
"Isn't that enough?" Rachel asked, clenching her hands as she tried to calm down.
"It's plenty, I'm not trying to say that's not enough, I just want a clear picture of what you saw Selwyn doing. From what you're saying, it sounds like we can pin him on both Death Eater activities and the Unforgivable Curses Act," Tonks said.
"I was otherwise occupied for the rest of the evening," Rachel said a little stiffly.
"I'm sure," Tonks said. She exhaled heavily and Rachel chanced a glance at her. Tonks looked worried with her mouth pulled flat and her eyes distant.
"Is there nothing that can be done?" Rachel asked.
"I don't want to get your hopes up, this is going to be a difficult one. The Selwyns are powerful people and they have a lot of influence. Even if we get a Veritaserum confession from him, I'm not sure the Wizengamot is going to vote him guilty," Tonks said. "And you'll be making yourself some very powerful enemies in the Selwyn family. They have influence in a lot of places and can probably make your life difficult."
Rachel considered that for a moment. "If they're Death Eaters or pureblood supremacists then they're already my enemies."
"There is that," Tonks said. "I'm not going to lie to you. This is serious stuff. You're accusing a long standing Wizengamot member and head of the Selwyn family of using an Unforgivable Curse on you at a Death Eater meeting. It's going to get ugly and there's a good chance you won't get the result you want."
"How likely do you think it is that the Wizengamot won't vote him guilty?" she asked.
"Less likely with this Wizengamot than the last. Sewlyn has never become part of the group that associates themselves with pureblood supremacy, but we can guarantee that group won't vote him guilty, so that's at least ten votes right there. I think we can be pretty sure Professor Dumbledore and Madam Bones' groups will vote against him, so that's nearly thirty votes against him. The rest are made up of small factions and the guilds, and if you want them to vote against him you're going to have to figure out something that the guilds want more than money," Tonks explained.
"You mean he'll bribe them? Isn't that illegal?"
"Yes, bribery, especially bribery to sway a Wizengamot vote, is illegal. And it would be a lot easier to prosecute if it was simply something like them giving the Wizengamot member a certain amount of money if they vote a certain way. But it doesn't work like that. It's endorsements for businesses, promises of votes, swaying the market. All things that the Selwyn family can and will do."
Somehow the government was both infuriatingly slow and stupid and ridiculously complex - but still stupid. Rachel was reminded of when the Ministry had stood firm that the Dark Lord wasn't back and how nothing could sway them as long as Fudge and the Wizengamot believed otherwise.
"I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue this, Rachel. I actually think that you should. I just don't want you to be set up for disappointment," Tonks said, reaching over and patting where Rachel's hand was resting on the table.
Rachel thought about it. What she'd decided yesterday was that the end result might be her resigning from the Wizengamot no matter what she did, but at least if she went to the MLE and tried to do something about Selwyn, it could help. She supposed the same thing still applied. "I'd really rather Alfred Selwyn was somewhere he couldn't hurt anyone else. I'm scared to be around him. I'd like to at least try to do something about it."
Tonks nodded. "Completely understandable. I'd be freaked out about it too. Normally our next step would be to go to Robards, but I think this needs to go directly to Madam Bones. She can choose who from the aurors is working on this. You up for telling her what you told me?"
"I can do that," Rachel said. She wanted to ask Madam Bones about joining the aurors anyway and this would give her an opportunity to do that. As long as Madam Bones didn't press for details, she thought she'd be alright.
"Let's go see if she can be interrupted then," Tonks said as she stood.
Rachel followed her out of the room, around the edge of the aurors' desks, and down the hallway to Madam Bones' office.
"This is somewhat urgent, do you know if we can interrupt Madam Bones?" Tonks asked Stella.
Stella glanced at Rachel and nodded. "I can go check, she's in with Robards at the moment, but I think she'll make time for a fellow Wizengamot member."
"Thanks," Tonks said.
Stella went down the hall and entered the office. She came back out a minute later. "You can go in."
"Want me with you?" Tonks asked.
"Yes, please," Rachel said. She knew she shouldn't need an escort, but she wanted Tonks there to fill in the blanks if she couldn't do it.
They started down the hall and a tall man with dark hair and a thin beard came out of the office and walked towards them. "You want me in there too?" he asked Tonks.
"Not at the moment, sir. Madam Bones will let you know when she wants you on this," Tonks said.
He stared her in the eyes, Tonks' head tilted back to meet his gaze, and Tonks nodded slightly.
"I trust that she'll let me know," he said, breaking the connection and looking at Rachel. "Wizengamot Member Snow, I presume?"
"Yes, sir," Rachel said, standing as tall as she could.
"Gawain Robards, Head Auror. Anytime you need help from the aurors, please don't hesitate to ask," he said, bowing slightly to her.
"Thank you, sir," Rachel said, watching as he walked away. When she was sure he was far enough away that he couldn't hear her she looked to Tonks. "Were you speaking with legilimency?" she asked quietly.
"No, legilimency is Unspeakables stuff, most aurors don't do that. Why would you think that we were?" Tonks asked, looking genuinely surprised.
"Oh, I've seen Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape do that before. They look into each other's eyes the way that you were."
Tonks smiled and shook her head. "No, that was his look asking me if I was sure I knew what I was doing. I get that look a lot from him. Before Robards was Head Auror he ran the Auror Training Program. Me nodding was telling him that I was sure of what I was doing, and he actually trusts me enough now not to screw things up that he accepts that from me."
"That's good, I suppose," Rachel said.
"I'm not a senior auror yet, but give me another five years and I'll be there," Tonks said. "Alright, ready?"
She nodded. She was about as ready as she was going to get.
Tonks knocked on Madam Bones' door and a moment later they heard a voice calling for them to enter. They went inside and found Madam Bones sending sheaves of parchment with her wand from her table to her desk.
"Wizengamot Member Snow and Auror Tonks, a pleasure to see you. Ms. Brewerson indicated that this was somewhat urgent," Madam Bones said, finishing her task and then motioning for them to take a seat.
"It is," Tonks said, sitting down across from Madam Bones. "It's about Alfred Selwyn."
Rachel sat next to her and tried to ignore the squeezing in her chest that was slowly getting worse.
Madam Bones looked particularly severe. "Has he made a threat to Miss Snow?"
"No, ma'am," Rachel said quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. "But he is a Death Eater and I can act as a witness to that fact. Tonks said that in order to question him, you needed a witness."
Madam Bones watched her for a long moment, her expression rigid. "By a witness, do you mean something you saw in one of your visions or something you saw in person?"
"In person. At Malfoy Manor, a little over two years ago," Rachel said, hoping she would understand what she meant without further explanation.
"No mask and he used the Cruciatus Curse," Tonks added.
Madam Bones nodded ever so slightly. "How certain are you of his identity?" she asked Rachel.
"Pretty certain. I recognized him immediately when he came to his seat in the Wizengamot chambers. I saw his face that night at Malfoy Manor, but I didn't know his name until Saturday. It was…" Rachel took another breath, fighting the pain in her chest. "It was pretty early on, so I could still see clearly, even without my glasses."
"Are you nearsighted or farsighted?" Madam Bones asked.
"Near, but it's mostly writing that I have a problem with. So, if I was sitting in the second row of a classroom without my glasses, I wouldn't be able to read the board, but I could still see the professor's face well enough."
"He must have been sure that there would be no surviving witnesses if he showed up there without a mask," Tonks said.
Madam Bones inclined her head slightly. Her gaze was fixed and she had the same expression that Severus got when he was thinking through something complicated very quickly. "This is a very delicate situation. To have one Wizengamot member accuse another of being a Death Eater and of using an Unforgivable Curse is unprecedented. In order to act on this information I need to be absolutely certain it was Alfred Selwyn that you saw. I would like to view your memory along with an Unspeakable to verify the authenticity of the memory."
Rachel felt sick. "You don't believe me?"
"I do believe you, Miss Snow. But I need absolute proof in order to act. You were under a great deal of duress that night. I need to be certain that we are accusing the right person," Madam Bones said.
"I could take Veritaserum," Rachel offered, though she really did not want to do that.
"As policy, we do not use Veritaserum on victims. I am aware that you did so during the investigation of Dolores Umbridge, but I assure you that never would have happened if I had been present. And even so, Veritaserum will not work for our purposes here. You believe you saw Alfred Selwyn, so that is what you would say under the influence of Veritaserum. I assure you, if I can identify Alfred Selwyn in your memory, we will proceed with an investigation and filing charges."
Rachel pressed her lips together as she tried to figure out what to do. "How much of my memory do you need to see?"
"In order for the Unspeakable to verify the authenticity of the memory, we would need to see the entire thing. I know what I am asking of you is a violation of your privacy. We would keep your memory secured, and only the Unspeakable who is investigating, myself, and Head Auror Robards will be allowed to view it," Madam Bones promised.
She was uncomfortable with having anyone view what happened that night, but more than that, she was worried about Draco. "Does the MLE always prosecute people who have used an Unforgivable Curse?"
"Not always, there are certain exceptions. For example, your use of the Killing Curse to kill You-Know-Who was allowed under a provision for necessary acts against an identified overwhelming threat," Madam Bones said.
"What about for the Cruciatus Curse?" she asked, though she was relieved that they couldn't get her in trouble for using the Killing Curse.
"Why don't you tell me the situation and we can address it directly?"
"Draco was sent in to rescue me, but he had to pretend to be joining the Death Eaters to do so. He-" Rachel cut herself off, not wanting to directly accuse Draco of anything.
Madam Bones shook her head. "Yet another thing that never would have happened if I had been allowed a say. To send a sixteen year old boy on a rescue mission into a circle of Death Eaters-" She shook her head again. "But to answer your question, there are provisions for undercover work as sometimes our operatives must break the law in order to protect their position. We can excuse whatever Wizengamot Member Malfoy was forced to do under that provision."
Rachel bit at the inside of her lips as she thought. She still was uncomfortable having anyone see that memory. "Can I think about it for a while?"
"You can. I want you to be certain that you wish to proceed. Pursuing this will make you some powerful enemies. I also want to caution you that there is no guarantee that the Wizengamot will find him guilty. He has a great deal of influence," Madam Bones said.
Rachel nodded. As far as she was concerned, the Selwyns were already her enemies. "May I ask you something else?"
"Yes, of course."
"I heard that the aurors are putting together a team to locate the rest of the Death Eaters. I'd like to join, but I'm not sure what the next step is."
"I'd like you to think long and hard about that decision. The Death Eaters are still a threat to you," Madam Bones said firmly.
"I'm aware, and they're a threat to everyone, but I'm aware they will wish to kill me. I can wear a disguise, so I'm not overtly endangering myself or others."
"Still, I would like you to think carefully about that. If you decide you'd like to join, you will interview with Head Auror Robards. If he decides you're a potential fit for the team, you will have an exam to determine if you have the necessary skills. If you pass that exam, Head Auror Robards and I will determine the final make-up of the team," Madam Bones explained.
"Okay, thank you. Two of my friends are also interested in joining. Should they write letters to Head Auror Robards to request interviews?"
"Yes, they should, as soon as possible. We intend for the team to be chosen by the end of August," Madam Bones said.
Rachel wasn't entirely certain they were going to be willing to consider her at all, but the least she could do was write the letter. "Thank you."
"Was there anything else?" Madam Bones asked.
"How do I let you know when I've made a decision about showing you my memory?" she asked.
"Simply make an appointment with Stella. I'll let her know I want to see you as soon as you're ready. You can ask your clerk to arrange the appointment."
"Thank you," Rachel said again as she stood up.
Tonks stood with her. "Thank you for seeing us."
Madam Bones nodded. "I appreciate you bringing this directly to me."
They left Madam Bones' office.
"Who among your friends is planning to join up?" Tonks asked.
"Draco and Ron," Rachel said as they walked.
"Not who I would have guessed. I'm not sure Draco joining is any better of an idea than you joining. Are you sure you want to do this? Disguise or not, the Death Eaters will stay to fight instead of retreat if they think they have a chance at killing you," Tonks said.
"You don't think a disguise will help?" Rachel asked.
"Maybe for a little while, but you and Draco joining the aurors will not stay a secret for long. The Death Eaters will want to know who they're fighting. Polyjuice might be an option, but you can't always rely on that during a battle. It's risky, it's a big risk, so you should think about it carefully."
"I will." It seemed like she had a lot to think about these next few days.
Rachel arrived at the Quidditch stadium in Anglesey shortly before one o'clock on Tuesday. It was the furthest she'd ever apparated on her own before and she took an awkward step as she landed, nearly twisting her ankle in the process.
The weather seemed good. There were a few clouds overhead, which wouldn't impair her Seeking at all. She was wearing trousers and a t-shirt under an open robes and she'd kept her hair tied back in a plait today. She hadn't the slightest idea of what she would be expected to do for the tryouts, but she felt more confident in her Quidditch skills than she did in just about anything else. Hopefully that confidence wasn't misplaced.
She approached the door on the side of the stadium where she'd been instructed to go and found the coach, Seren Bowfield, waiting.
"A pleasure to see you again, Miss Snow," Seren said, reaching out her hand.
Rachel shook her hand, grateful that she let go after a shake instead of clinging onto her. "Thank you, it's a pleasure to see you too. Thank you again for this opportunity."
Seren shook her head. "Think nothing of it, we're always on the lookout for good players and I know you have several irons in the fire."
"Speaking of that," Rachel said, glad for the opportunity. "There are a few things I wanted to discuss with you because I think it will likely have an impact on whether or not you'll consider me a viable option for your team."
"Let's walk through to the pitch and we can talk on the way," Seren said, opening the door.
Rachel followed her inside, a little surprised to find an office space inside a stadium. "Well, there are a couple things schedule wise that you should know about. I am a member of the Wizengamot and while I won't frequently be called to trials overall, September and October in particular will have a large number of full Wizengamot trials that I will be required to attend."
"The Death Eater trials, don't envy you that," Seren said, nodding sagely. "Our schedules are pretty flexible here. Most people are working another job while they are in the League. Most of our work is done on weekday evenings and we have games on weekends. One of the reasons we have a full reserve team is because people have different times they can't attend at. We just ask that you let us know your schedule as much in advance as possible."
"I can do that, we seem to get our schedules from the Wizengamot monthly. I will also be trying out for the auror team that is hunting down the remaining Death Eaters, but from what I gather, most of that will be done at night, so it shouldn't interfere," Rachel continued.
Seren turned her head to look at her as they walked through a large work out room. "You're hunting Death Eaters?"
"Well. We'll see. I'm not sure if I'll make the auror team or not," Rachel hedged.
"They'd be crazy not to want you, but I think you're kind of crazy to want to join. Then again once I got my OWL in Defense I was done with the whole thing, so I'm not the one you should be asking," Seren said.
Rachel shrugged. "Which kind of brings me to my last point and maybe most relevant to you. The Death Eaters still want to kill me. It's possible they may try to do so at a Quidditch game since I'm not in the public eye very much."
"Was kind of figuring on that too. I think everyone is aware that You-Know-Who wanted you dead and that some of his more fanatical Death Eaters will try to kill you in vengeance for killing him. You are not the first League player to have people wanting to kill them, people can be absolutely obsessed with Quidditch, and not in a good way. All of the stadiums for the League are set up with multiple layers of wards, protecting both the players and the people in the stands. These are more than just the standard non-interference wards. Won't stop a Killing Curse, but that doesn't seem to be too much of a problem for you. The League also has hired security at all of their games. Long story short, we're not overly concerned about it if you're not," Seren said, opening another door and they finally stepped out onto the pitch.
"I wouldn't say that I'm not concerned," Rachel said, tightening her grip on her Firebolt, "But it's good to know the security features are in place. The last thing I want to do is get someone hurt because I'm here."
"And I appreciate that. Alright, I told everyone not to fangirl over you, but we'll see how well they behave. Coaching a Quidditch team is like herding a group of kneazles," Seren said and then blew her whistle.
Two teams came flying down to assemble in front of them. The first was the main team of the Holyhead Harpies in dark green and gold. The other team was the reserve team in the Harpies alternate uniform, with a dark yellow body and green trim.
"Everyone, this is Rachel Snow. Rachel, that's the lot of us. She's trying out for the Reserve Seeker position today. We'll play until someone catches the Snitch, take a moment to talk strategy and we'll get in the air," Seren said.
"Rachel, over here," a woman in the reserve colors called.
Feeling nervous, and now a little excited - she hadn't expected to get to play a game with the Harpies - she hurried over to the reserve team.
"Quick introductions," the same woman said. "I'm Gwendolyn, don't call me Gwen, and I'm lead Chaser and captain for the reserve. This is Annika and Awlene, my Chasers. That's Donna and Meredith, our Beaters. And finally, Cadie, our Keeper. You captained for the Slytherins, right?"
"That's right. I've been captain since my fourth year, I played Seeker for five years and Chaser for one year," Rachel said, nodding to everyone.
"Youth leagues or just Hogwarts?" Awlene asked.
"Just Hogwarts," Rachel said.
"No problem," Gwendolyn said. "You new to a Firebolt?"
"No, I've been playing on one for two years now."
"Good. Fair warning, the Beaters are going to come after you, because they're testing you. Expect to be interfered with. Donna and Meredith will primarily be guarding the Chasers, but they'll help you out when they can. No one expects you to win against Glynnis, but give it your best."
Rachel nodded. She didn't truly expect to win against Glynnis Griffiths either, she'd been the Harpies' Seeker for nearly ten years now. But she would try.
"Alright, everyone else, you know what to do," Gwendolyn said. "Let's take our positions. Annika, keep up with us. Meredith, remember to guard the flank. Cadie-"
Cadie raised her eyebrows and folded her arms. "What?"
"Just do your thing," Gwendolyn said.
"That's what I thought," Cadie said, looking amused.
Rachel took the rear spot, feeling strange that she wasn't playing captain after so many years of doing so. Gwendolyn took the front spot and shook hands with Gwenog Jones, who had been the Harpies' Captain for nearly as long as Glynnis had been Seeking for them.
The sound of the whistle started the game and Rachel went up high as she usually did and took a look around. The stadium was larger than the one at Hogwarts by quite a bit, but the pitch was the same regulation size. It was tempting to watch the Harpies play, she could already see that Chasing went much faster in the League than it did at Hogwarts, but she got to work searching for the Snitch and keeping an eye out for Bludgers.
It was easy to lose track of the time during a Quidditch game. Everything sort of fell away except for the game itself and despite the fact that she was trying out for the team, she felt a sense of ease that she didn't really get anywhere else.
She dodged a Bludger from Gwenog, dodged it again a minute later when Teagan Lewis sent it back her direction, and then flew down through the Chasers in play to get them off her tail. She interrupted a pass between Wilda and Valmai, allowing Alwene to snatch the Quaffle and go back in the other direction toward the goals, and then resumed her search.
Glynnis was staying high and out of the action, which was wise, and Rachel stayed so that she was flying maybe ten feet below her but still well out of the main game.
Rachel didn't know how long it had been when she finally saw the Snitch, or what the score was since there was no scoreboard displaying it. She glanced in Glynnis' direction, found her moving the opposite direction, and decided to full out fly for it.
Leaning closer to her broom she went into a fast but not deep dive, keeping a careful eye on the Snitch because Snitches had the tendency to make quick and unexpected turns. The Snitch did turn, and Rachel corrected her course. She did have an advantage here that she wouldn't have in the real game - there was no crowd or commentator to let Glynnis know that Rachel was after the Snitch, she'd have to see it for herself.
The Snitch turned again and went into a deeper dive, perhaps sensing that Rachel was nearly there, and Rachel slowed ever so slightly as she followed it. It wouldn't do to fall off her broom during tryouts, especially not at these speeds. She sensed Glynnis joining her and pushed her broom a little harder. The Snitch darted again, but this time to Rachel's favor and she reached out and grabbed it and then carefully pulled herself out of her dive and slowed down, Glynnis speeding past her in her own mad grab for the Snitch.
Seren blew the whistle from down on the pitch and Rachel flew down towards her, smiling slightly. She certainly couldn't have made a better showing for herself. If the Holyhead Harpies didn't want her on their team, it certainly wasn't because of her flying.
"Who got it? I didn't see," Donna asked as they landed.
Rachel held out her hand with the Snitch and then turned to Glynnis and offered her empty hand. "Good game."
Glynnis raised an eyebrow but shook Rachel's hand. "Good game. So you can kill dark lords and catch the Snitch, that's something alright. Maybe you are what they say you are."
"Just don't believe what you read in the Daily Prophet," Rachel warned her.
Glynnis and several of the rest of the team nearby laughed. "Not all of it, at least," Glynnis agreed.
"Well done, Rachel," Seren said, accepting the Snitch from her. "That puts our reserve team at 210 and the main team at 100."
"Not terrible, but we need work," Gwendolyn said.
"We always need work," Annika said.
"That's why we practice," Seren said. "Let's thank Rachel for joining us and we'll get back to work. Chaser drills while I'm gone."
Gwenog stepped forward and shook Rachel's hand. "Thank you. For flying with us. And for everything else. Really."
"Thank you for letting me join you today," Rachel settled for. She did wish that people wouldn't thank her for killing the Dark Lord.
"Thanks for helping us win, not often that happens," Gwendolyn said.
"Don't get used to it," Valmai said before taking off.
Gwendolyn shook her head. "That's my sister, that's why she's a bitch. Good luck to you," she said to Rachel.
"Thank you," Rachel said again, waving goodbye to the team as she followed Seren back out.
"What did you think?" Seren asked as they walked.
"It was really great to play with all of them. I miss Quidditch when I'm not playing," Rachel said honestly.
"You seem like you're a fairly good fit for the team. You'll be playing more often with the reserves than you will the main team, at least until Glynnis decides to retire, but you'll want to be used to playing with both. I should have a decision for you by the end of August," Seren said.
"Thank you, that sounds fine," Rachel said, though the idea of waiting that long felt almost painful. "Can I ask you a weird question?"
"Sure. Shoot."
"What happens if a man wants to try out for the Harpies?" Rachel asked. The Harpies were the only all female team in the League.
"Then we refer them to one of the other twelve mostly male teams in the League. As I'm sure you know from your time at Hogwarts, Quidditch is still mostly a male dominated sport. The Harpies have been an all female team since the time of our founding and that will never change. We're pretty much the only team in the League that has female Beaters on a regular basis. If it ever gets to the point where the League is evenly balanced, maybe we'll consider allowing men on the team, but honestly I don't see that day coming any time soon."
"That's too bad. I know a lot of good female Quidditch players. I played with a female Beater pretty much my entire time at Hogwarts, Cho and Ginny are excellent Seekers and Heidi was an excellent Chaser, and the Gryffindor team had a trio of female Chasers that absolutely dominated our school for five years," Rachel said.
"How many of them went on to play professionally?" Seren asked.
"None of them that I know of, but I know Ginny intends to try out for the League. This is her last year at Hogwarts," Rachel admitted. "I know two of the girls on my team, Scarlett and Viola, want to play professionally as well."
Seren nodded. "For whatever reason it's hard to convince women that this is a good career path, even those who play throughout their school years."
"Or hard to convince their parents," Rachel said.
Seren laughed. "That's true for any Quidditch player regardless of their gender, I can promise you that. I don't know of any parents who felt that joining the League was the best decision for their child."
"I suppose that's true. I know my father isn't overly thrilled about it, but he says he supports what I want to do as long as I'm furthering my education with it." Except for joining the aurors, apparently.
They stepped back outside of the stadium and Seren turned to her. "I'm glad he's supportive. Thanks again for coming to fly with us today. Look for a letter from me by the end of August."
Rachel shook her hand again. "Thank you." She tightened her grip on her broom and then apparated herself into the living room, having another moment of disorientation from traveling so far. "Severus?"
"In here," he called.
She decided that he was probably in the cellar. She propped her broom up by the staircase and went through the kitchen and downstairs. The cellar was in pieces while Severus worked on his redesign. He had already taught her the space expansion spell and the cellar was now nearly three times its initial size.
"How did it go?" he asked.
She smiled. "Good. I played with the reserve team against the main team and I caught the Snitch before Glynnis Griffiths!"
"I will accept that as a good thing because I do not know who that is," he said, smiling back at her.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "She's the Holyhead Harpies' Seeker. They didn't actually expect me to beat her to the Snitch."
"Well done then, though your skills at Quidditch were never in doubt. Did they give you a time frame for when you can expect a decision?" he asked.
"End of August. I think I'm going to take the Harpies position if I get it, regardless of what happens with the Kestrals or the Tornados."
"It sounds like you know what you'd like to do then."
In this, she did. In everything else, not so much. She tried to push away the reality of the decision she still had to make. She wanted to stay in this good mood, at least for a while. "I'm going to go tell Draco. And then I'm going to see if I can tell Ginny."
"That's fine. Be home for dinner," Severus said.
"I will." Rachel bounded back up the stairs, ready to go rehash the whole game with Draco and Ginny.
On Wednesday Rachel apparated to Clifden and found herself by a small cottage near the coast. This was Mistress Emlyn Clough's home and she was the first of the three Potions Masters and Mistresses that she was interviewing with. Rachel had already rehearsed what she wanted to say, so while she was mildly nervous just at meeting someone new - and someone who Severus thought well of - it wasn't too bad.
Rachel wound her way through the front garden, noting by what was growing that it was a working garden for a Potions Mistress, much like Severus' garden at home. Upon reaching the door she took a few slow breaths and then knocked.
About two minutes later the door opened to reveal a woman who appeared to be in her sixties or so, with her long dark red hair tied up, a pale face with lines around her mouth from smiling, and dark brewing robes over a long dress. "You must be Rachel. I'm Mistress Emlyn Clough. Please call me Emlyn, everyone does. Come in."
"Thank you," Rachel said, stepping inside when Emlyn stepped back.
"Come, let's have tea and talk," Emlyn said, leading her into a small kitchen.
A few minutes later they were sitting around Emlyn's kitchen table with cups of tea and a plate of biscuits.
"Why don't you tell me a little about yourself," Emlyn said.
Rachel wasn't quite prepared for that question. She thought everyone knew pretty much everything about her thanks to the newspaper. "I just finished my seventh year at Hogwarts. My father is Severus Snape, who was the Potions Master at the school while I was there. As I grew older, I often spent some of my summers brewing with him. Last summer I invented a modified version of Dreamless Sleep which allows the person taking it to fall asleep naturally. I also invented an alternative and cheaper recipe for the standard Dreamless Sleep potion. Oh, I was on the team for the Wizarding Schools Potions Championship in my sixth year and we took first place. My recipe was the one that was judged for the modification challenge and we received second place for that."
"Impressive to have already invented potions at your age. Have you registered them with the Guild and published them?"
"I have registered them with the Guild. I wrote the article for publication last month, but I haven't heard back from Modern Potions yet," Rachel explained.
Emlyn nodded and sipped at her tea. "It usually takes a month or two for them to send you an acceptance with revisions. Are you interested in a Potions Mastery because it's something you want to do or because it's something Severus wants from you?"
"It's something I want to do. I have a few projects in mind that I'd like to work on, but I may need to do some other things first which is something I wanted to talk with you about."
"What things would you like to do first?"
"Well, as you might know, I'm on the Wizengamot, which does take up some of my time," she began.
"I'm certain it does. How is being on the Wizengamot at eighteen? That's nearly unprecedented," Emlyn asked.
"Well, Draco, Neville, and I are all eighteen and we're all the last of our family lines. I'm not sure how seriously anyone will take us. Right now we're sort of just learning how all of this works before we do anything," Rachel admitted.
"I expect that they will at least take you seriously. I believe you could have quite a following if you wished to command it."
"I'd really have people listen to me for what I'm saying rather than who I am."
"Also understandable, but for many people it is difficult to separate those two things. Do you have plans for what you wish to do while you're on the Wizengamot?"
Rachel hesitated, but decided to tell her at least a little. "I want to fix some things. Things like House Elf rights and werewolf rights and getting rid of Azkaban."
Emlyn's eyes went wide. "Getting rid of Azkaban?"
"Well, not entirely. We'd still need a prison of some sort, we can't just let Death Eaters roam freely. But subjecting people, even criminals, to Dementors is torture. We can't keep doing that. It's wrong."
"You will have an uphill battle on your hands, that is for certain. I wish you luck with it," Emlyn said with a nod.
Rachel nodded as well. She'd known from the start that what she wanted to do wasn't going to be easy. "There are a few other things I should tell you about. I am trying out for the British Quidditch League and intend to join a team if they'll have me. And, somewhat more relevant to you, I'm looking into joining the auror team that is hunting down Death Eaters. I don't expect that will take more than a year, so I was hoping to potentially postpone my Mastery for up to a year while I helped capture the remaining Death Eaters."
Emlyn laughed, but it was a gentle laugh. "The Wizengamot, Quidditch in the League, and joining the aurors. Severus did tell me that you couldn't stop doing things, but I didn't quite take him seriously."
She felt herself blush. She hadn't realized that Severus had spoken with Emlyn about her. "Just as you wanted to know that I was the one who wanted to do a Mastery and it wasn't something that Severus wanted for me, I also want you to know that I want to be chosen to do a Mastery on my own merits, not because of who my father is or things unrelated to potions that I've done."
Emlyn nodded, still smiling. "I can assure you that no Potions Master or Mistress would take an apprentice based on who their parents are or other unrelated achievements. We just want to know that you already have the basic skills and that you have a passion for brewing with the intent to further the field. You achieved an Outstanding on your Potions NEWT and you took first place in the Potions Championship. Severus had nothing to do with that other than being your teacher. Were the potions you invented something you did or something Severus did?"
"I invented the potions, but he did things like sometimes adding a stir or a drop of something," she admitted, not sure whether or not that was okay.
"Things anyone receiving a consult on a potion they were inventing would do. You invented those potions. You earned your grades. Yes, I spoke with Severus, but all Masters and Mistresses speak with Severus before they take someone as an apprentice and I trust that he is impartial in judging your skills even though you're his daughter. When you say that you had things in mind that you wanted to invent, what were you thinking of?"
"Well, the big one is inventing a non-addictive Sleeping Potion that can be taken safely every night, but I know that is a huge task," Rachel said.
"That is, and while we can do the base work of that in your Mastery, I suspect that will take many years of work. Did you have other things that you wanted to invent as well?"
"There's only one other specific thing, but I'd really like to focus on non-standard Healing potions and making potions easier for people to take. Sometimes, if you're sick to your stomach and need to take a Pain Relieving Potion for something else, it can cause you to throw up, and then you don't know how much of the potion you actually absorbed. The other potion I'd like to invent is something that reduces or stops tremors, even if it's only temporarily. A permanent solution would be nice, but I think that would be more difficult," Rachel explained.
Emlyn rested her hand on her chin and looked thoughtful. "You have some very interesting ideas and I would be privileged to work with you on them. I know that you have additional interviews with other Masters and Mistresses, but I'd like you to know that you have an open offer from me."
"Even if it might be a year before I can start?" Rachel asked.
"Yes. I don't have any other applicants right now, so I am willing to wait a year. Write to me and let me know your decision and your plans and we'll sort everything out if you'd like to apprentice with me."
"Thank you very much," Rachel said, a little bit surprised that it was that easy.
"Do you have any questions for me?" Emlyn asked.
"Um, not at this time, but if I think of some, may I write you a letter?"
"That would be fine, or drop by to visit. I'm here on Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays. The rest of the time I work with the Guild in London."
"Thank you," Rachel said again.
Emlyn escorted Rachel back out and Rachel apparated back home. This time she found Severus in his office.
"How was Emlyn?" he asked, looking up from his work.
"Um, good, I think. She offered me an apprenticeship, even if I have to delay a year."
Severus' mouth twisted slightly. "I'm glad she offered you the apprenticeship. You're meeting with Master McDonald next week, correct?"
"That's right. Emlyn told me to write to her when I've made a decision and have plans. I should know by the end of August about the auror team," Rachel said.
Severus nodded again but didn't comment on that. "I'm glad your interview went well."
Rachel nodded. She knew he still wasn't happy about the prospect of her joining the auror team, but eventually he was going to have to accept reality. "Want me to make dinner?"
"If you wouldn't mind, that would be helpful," he said.
"I'll let you know when it's done." Rachel went into the kitchen, stopped for a moment to pet Gladys, and then began looking through their food to see what she could make.
"It's been a little while since we've met. Do you think Thursday afternoons are going to fit into your schedule?" Torey asked once they were both seated.
"For the most part, I hope. I still need to make some decisions about what I'm doing, but that should be all resolved by the end of August," Rachel said.
"Well, let me know if we need to change the day and we'll see what we can do. How has everything been?"
Rachel swallowed. She'd been waiting to talk with Torey about this, but now that she was here it was suddenly difficult again. Would it always be that way? Would every time she tried to talk about that night feel like she had a weight on her chest and like she'd just swallowed rocks?
"Well, a couple of things," she said, deciding to tackle the easiest stuff first. "I tried out for the Harpies and that went pretty well. I actually caught the Snitch Seeking against Glynnis, so-" Rachel managed a smile and a shrug.
"Well done, I'm sure they weren't expecting that," Torey said. "When do you find out if you've made the team?"
"End of August, they'll send a letter. I also had an interview with Emlyn for my Mastery. She's willing to take me as an apprentice, I'm supposed to write to her when I decide what I'm doing. I also have two more interviews next week and two more tryouts. So, things are still up in the air." Rachel hadn't told her about joining the aurors as she suspected that she would be about as happy about it as Severus was.
"What about the Wizengamot? You had your first meeting. I saw in the paper that you declined to be nominated for the Chief Warlock position."
Rachel pressed her lips together. "I did decline. Professor Dumbledore said I likely had the votes for the position, but I don't want it, especially not right now."
"That's understandable. Give yourself some time to get adjusted to everything."
"There was something else that happened, and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it." She needed help making this decision and the only people she trusted to help her make that decision were Severus and Torey.
"What's that?" Torey asked.
"There's a person on the Wizengamot. His desk is right next to mine, actually. And-" Rachel stopped and closed her eyes. Why was this so hard? She could feel her heart beating quicker, like it was warning her to stop talking about this. It shouldn't be that difficult, it was just talking. Rachel had the odd remembrance of feeling that way when she was first working with Torey on speaking at all. That seemed like forever ago now.
When Rachel opened her eyes, she found Torey watching her patiently, with the slight turn of the corner of her mouth that meant she was worried. Rachel forced herself to exhale. "Alfred Selwyn is a Death Eater. He was there that night at Malfoy Manor. And he was one of the people who tortured me." She felt chills running through her body as she spoke.
Torey nodded slightly. "Was this your first time seeing him since that night?"
"Apparently he was at Neville's Gran's memorial service too, but I didn't see his face there. I didn't know who he was by name until I saw him on Saturday. He looked at me on Saturday. He was watching me. I think he wanted to know if I recognized him, and I think that he knew that I recognized him."
"Perhaps. It's really difficult to tell what someone is thinking just by looking at them. Humans can actually be remarkably bad at reading each other's facial expressions. Did he say anything to you? Did he look surprised maybe? Or like he was challenging you?"
"He didn't speak to me. He just looked at me. He…" Rachel paused as she tried to find the right way to describe it. "I'm sure he was thinking about that night."
"He probably was. You and Draco are probably the only ones who would be willing to identify him from that night and if no action has been taken against him by now, the MLE probably doesn't have the necessary evidence that he's a Death Eater. I think it's likely he now wants to know what you and Draco are going to do about it."
Rachel frowned. She hadn't really considered Draco in all of this, other than trying to protect him from prosecution. They had told each other they wouldn't tell anyone, but her showing her memory to the MLE was definitely telling someone. She'd have to talk it over with him, but she needed to make a decision about what to do first. "I already went to Tonks. And I told her about what Selwyn did. And we told Madam Bones. And she says the only way to proceed is for me to show her and an Unspeakable my memory of that night, so that she can identify Selwyn and so that the Unspeakable can verify that my memory hasn't been tampered with. Apparently accusing a Wizengamot member of using an Unforgivable Curse and being a Death Eater is a really big deal."
"She's not wrong, it's a very big deal," Torey agreed. "I'm sure you've been considering what you want to do."
"I can't stay on the Wizengamot if Selwyn is there. I just can't. And maybe that's stupid, but it's just not something I can do."
"I don't think that's stupid, I think that is you setting a healthy boundary for yourself," Torey said, nodding.
"I don't know why it bothers me so much. I don't know why this is so difficult."
"It's difficult because he participated in torturing you. That was a severe trauma. You have spent a great deal of time recovering from what you went through and it is something that will be a part of you for the rest of your life. Not wanting to be near someone who has tortured you is an entirely reasonable and expected reaction," Torey said steadily. "It's a healthy reaction. I would be more concerned if you were here telling me that seeing him bothered you, but that you intended to go on just sitting next to him anyway."
Rachel pondered that for a moment. Something she was doing was healthy. Huh. That was kind of nice, even if it was uncomfortable to deal with.
"I know I don't have to tell you that showing someone your memory can be an invasion of your privacy, especially about something so personal. At the end of the day, this is your decision. But there's another factor I want you to think about before you proceed."
"What?"
"Your memory itself may stay private between the people in the MLE you show it to, but if this proceeds to trial, the contents won't be private. The entire Wizengamot will hear what happened. It will be reported on in the newspaper. And, as I'm sure Madam Bones has told you, there's no guarantee that he'll be found guilty."
"They did tell me that," Rachel said, though her mind was now racing. She hadn't thought past showing her memory to Madam Bones, but Torey was right. If this went to trial, everyone would be talking about it. "Is it weak to not want to do this?"
"No, it's not weak. It's understandable. The vast majority of people who are traumatically injured by someone do not pursue charges against the person who hurt them, both in the muggle world and in the magical world. This is a big decision with a lot of factors. You could decide that any one of those factors is not something you want to deal with and that's alright."
Rachel exhaled again. "I know it's not worse than everyone knowing about my childhood…"
"Which was also an egregious violation of your privacy. There's no worse here. It's just what is. If you do not want everyone knowing about what happened that night, that's understandable," Torey said again.
"I don't suppose you'd tell me what to do if I asked?"
Torey shook her head. "It's your decision, but I think there are both benefits and drawbacks to either decision you make. It can be cathartic and healing to pursue justice for yourself. I think having Selwyn held responsible for what he did to you could be healing. It would also allow you to stay on the Wizengamot, if that's something you want. But there's also the possibility that he won't be found guilty, which could be very difficult and hurtful to deal with."
"He wasn't the only one. That night. He wasn't even the worst," Rachel found herself saying.
"Do you want the MLE to pursue charges against the other people who were there that night? That might be an option after they've seen your memory."
"The ones I know about are either already dead, captured, or are missing. I'm not sure there are any others who are in a position like Selwyn."
"You're not sure. So the possibility is that they could do something about some of the other people who were there that night," Torey pointed out.
Rachel supposed that was true. She didn't like the idea of any of those people just being out there and living their lives like nothing had happened. She didn't get to live her life like nothing had happened, why should they? "I still don't know."
"Did they give you a timeline for when you have to decide?"
"No, but we have another Wizengamot meeting in another week and a half. I'd like to have made a decision before then. I'd like to make a decision now."
"I think it's important that you don't rush or push yourself into making a decision. Consider all the possible drawbacks and benefits. Maybe write a list," Torey suggested.
Rachel nodded. Writing lists had helped her in the past. Maybe that would help now.
Severus looked up from his book as Rachel slunk into the room and settled on the sofa. She'd been quietly lurking around the house ever since she'd returned from therapy and after letting her know he was available, he'd let her have space. Long experience had taught him that she'd come to him when she was ready to talk and trying to draw her out before then would get a lot of worried expressions and one word answers.
He returned to his reading when she didn't speak, though he kept some heightened awareness of her. She was sitting still, her gaze unfocused. The fact that she wasn't fidgeting told him that she wasn't trying to figure out what to say or worrying about what he thought. Her expression told him that she was focused and undecided as to what to do.
"Severus?" she finally asked, about ten pages into his book later.
"Yes?" He closed his book and looked at her fully.
"I don't know what the right thing is to do."
"About showing your memory to Madam Bones?" he checked, wanting to be certain they were having the same conversation.
She nodded.
"I don't think this decision is about what is right in the larger picture, I think it is about what is right for you," he offered, wanting to guide her thoughts away from some abstract moral rightness to which she might measure herself.
"Torey said that if this goes to trial, that it won't just be Madam Bones and the Unspeakable who knows what was in my memory, it will be everyone." Now she started fidgeting, her fingers moving restlessly against each other.
"Torey is correct. If Selwyn is put on trial, then at least some version of events about what transpired that night will become public knowledge."
"I don't want that. But, if I leave the Wizengamot, people are going to want to know why too."
"That's true. It's very uncommon for someone to resign their seat and there would be a great deal of attention and speculation around that. That does not necessarily mean that you have to reveal why, but I suspect the truth will be easier than some of the conclusions the press might draw." He also expected that the Minister and Madam Bones would go to great lengths to stop Rachel from resigning her seat. She was much more valuable to them politically if she was on the Wizengamot. Severus had the urge again to take Rachel and leave Britain. There had to be somewhere in the world they could live without her past looming over her.
She shrugged. "I guess my point is, if it's going to be a mess either way, I might as well try to do something about Selwyn, right?"
"That's one way to look at it. I think you need to ask yourself if you are ready to speak of what happened that night and to hear others speak of it."
Rachel looked down and focused on where her hands were worrying themselves.
"It is alright if the answer to that question is no. There is no time limit on healing. There is nothing wrong with wishing for privacy about what happened," he told her when she remained silent.
"Torey said that most people don't try to get the people who hurt them into legal trouble. Just like I couldn't with my aunt and my uncle. I just couldn't."
"It's a difficult prospect for anyone, I would imagine. Do you remember when Umbridge had her trial?"
She nodded. "This is different. I didn't care that people knew she put me under the Imperius Curse, because it didn't do anything to me."
Severus waited for her to find the conclusion to that thought on her own.
"I know what happened at Malfoy Manor wasn't bad-"
"Wasn't bad? Rachel, you nearly died. If we had not gotten to you when we did, you could have died from shock and from your injuries."
"It wasn't bad in the same way as what my relatives were doing to me," she clarified. "It…it feels different."
"It's natural that it feels different. They were different types of traumas, under different circumstances, perpetrated by different people. That does not make either of them necessarily worse than the other."
"I feel more ashamed of what happened to me as a child. It's harder to deal with those feelings. What happened at Malfoy Manor could have happened to anyone the Dark Lord wanted to torture."
"The abuse you endured as a child was not about who you are. Many children are abused in circumstances just like yours. The abuse speaks to the abusers, not to the victim," he said firmly.
"Then why does it feel like it's just me? I mean, I know it's not. I know what Theo and Malcolm survived. I know you survived it too. And I know that Gemma and Tracey both were sexually abused, and that it happens to other kids too."
Severus felt his eyebrows rise in surprise. He had not known that about Gemma.
"It's just…" Rachel put her face in her hands. "I feel like I'm still struggling and everyone else has moved on."
"I assure you that is not true. Most people prefer to struggle in private. I do not believe that when people look at you that they see that you are struggling. You are willing to show that to me, because I believe that you trust me and know that I will attempt to help." He wished he could do more than attempt to help, but despite all of his experiences, sometimes he felt out of his depth with the things that Rachel struggled with.
Rachel wiped away silent tears. "I just really want to be strong and I'm afraid that I'm not."
"You are strong, or you would not still be here. You have surmounted incredible odds to get to this point in your life and you could not do that without being strong. Whether or not you decide to proceed with the case against Sewlyn does not reflect upon your strength. This is about making the right decision for you. That is what matters." The last thing he wanted was for Rachel to pursue this believing that she had to do it.
"I want to proceed with the case. I want him and anyone else who was there that night to be judged. I want them to be far away from me and not ever be able to do that to someone again."
Severus still had his reservations about this. There were a number of things that could go wrong, the most probable of which was Selwyn being found not guilty. But he would support Rachel if she wanted to do this. "It sounds to me like you know what you want your answer to be."
"I'm still afraid. I still don't like that the newspaper is going to be talking about this and that I'm going to have to face the rest of the Wizengamot when they all will know what happened to me. And I know they might not find him guilty. But this won't be the worst thing that people know about me. And if they find Selwyn not guilty, I still can resign my seat and people will know why without having to ask." She nodded a few times, seemingly to herself.
If Selwyn was found not guilty, then Severus might have to take matters into his own hands. It would be no small task to kill a member of the Wizengamot, but Severus was not daunted by that. He would do anything to keep Rachel safe. "If this is what you feel is the right decision for you, I will stand by you. No matter what," he told her.
"Thank you," she said as she stood. "I'm going to go write to Stella and see if I can get an appointment with Madam Bones for tomorrow. Or maybe I should send a Patronus message to Tonks. What do you think?"
"Try the letter first. Generally we only rely on Patronus messages for urgent situations. Always remember that you can't control who else might be there when someone receives a Patronus. It's always wiser to say less and then have them contact you for clarification," he advised.
Rachel nodded. "I'm going to go write a letter then. Thank you for helping me."
"Of course," he said, though most of his help had simply been to let Rachel talk herself to the decision she wanted to make. He supposed now they would see what the fallout would be.
"Hi Stella. We have an appointment with Madam Bones," Tonks said.
Rachel had met Tonks just ten minutes ago at Rachel's office in the Wizengamot chambers. Tonks hadn't pried about what Rachel's decision was, but she did seem to already know.
"You can go right in, Madam Bones is expecting you," Stella said, nodding to Rachel.
Rachel nodded back and then followed Tonks down the hallway, feeling like she was carrying a knot in her stomach. She'd made the decision last night, and she knew it had been the right decision because she wasn't immediately filled with regrets, but she still didn't want to do this.
Tonks knocked on Madam Bones' door and a voice called for them to enter. Madam Bones was behind her desk, clearly with a great deal of work to be done, but she looked up when they came inside her office. "Auror Tonks. Wizengamot Member Snow."
"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Madam Bones," Rachel said.
Madam Bones shook her head as she gestured for them to take the chairs in front of her desk. "Think nothing of it. In private, if you would like, you may call me Amelia."
"Thank you. Please just call me Rachel." Rachel and Tonks sat down and Rachel clasped her hands together and tried to keep from showing how nervous she was.
"In your letter to Miss Brewerson you indicated you wished to speak with me about what we discussed on Monday," Madam Bones said.
Rachel nodded and told herself she was making the right decision. Not just for herself, but for anyone Alfred Selwyn might hurt in the future. "I am willing to show you my memory of what happened that night. I would like for charges to be pressed against Alfred Selwyn."
Madam Bones inclined her head slightly. "I'm certain that you've considered this carefully, but I would like to remind you of a few things before we proceed. The first is that there is no guarantee that Selwyn will be found guilty. The second is that just by accusing Alfred Selwyn you will be uniting the Selwyn family against you, and they are powerful political enemies to have. And the third is that while your memory will be kept private, at least some of the contents will be discussed at the trial and that information will be made available to the public at large."
"Yes, I know. And I'm willing to accept whatever happens," Rachel said, though she didn't know what she was going to do if Selwyn wasn't found guilty. Leave the Wizengamot, obviously, but beyond that she didn't know how she was going to deal with the fact that he was still free and able to do whatever he wanted, and probably would have a desire to act against her since she had accused him in the first place.
"Very well. I've asked Unspeakable Lloyd to be prepared to work with us today. I will also have Head Auror Robards join us as he will be leading the investigation. The three of us will be the only ones with access to your memory. We'll have you first show us the memory, which Unspeakable Lloyd will use to verify the authenticity of your memory, and then we will have you make a copy of the memory so that Head Auror Robards can refer to it in his investigation," Madam Bones explained as she stood.
"May Auror Tonks come with us?" Rachel asked, glancing at Tonks.
"Yes, of course. We will not be going into the Department of Mysteries itself. The MLE has its own Pensieve," Madam Bones said. "Come with me, if you would."
Rachel and Tonks followed Madam Bones back down the hallway.
Madam Bones came to a stop in front of Stella's desk. "Could you have Unspeakable Lloyd join us in Head Auror Robards' office as soon as possible please? She should be expecting a message from me."
"Right away," Stella said, glancing at Rachel before returning to her work.
Madam Bones continued down the hallway, through the area with the desks of the aurors and knocked on the door labeled 'Head Auror'.
"Enter," came a stern voice.
They went inside, finding a somewhat cramped office with many cases of files, and Head Auror Robards looking harried behind his desk.
"Gawain, have you met Wizengamot Member Rachel Snow?" Madam Bones asked.
"Briefly," Robards said with a nod to Rachel and a glance at Tonks. "You're finally bringing me in on this?" he asked Madam Bones.
"Miss Snow would like to share her memory of the events of the twenty third of June in 1996 regarding the Death Eater gathering at Malfoy Manor. Among the Death Eaters gathered there was Alfred Selwyn. Miss Snow has indicated her memory will show that Alfred Selwyn used the Cruciatus Curse on her," Madam Bones explained.
Robards nodded once. "Let's get the bastard then. Do we have an Unspeakable to verify the memory?"
"Esme will be joining us momentarily," Madam Bones said.
"We'll wait for her so that she can see the memory being withdrawn," Robards said.
There was quiet for a moment and Rachel decided this was as good of a time as any. "Head Auror Robards. I am interested in joining the auror team that is hunting down the remaining Death Eaters. Should I write you a letter to indicate my interest?"
Robards looked her up and down and Rachel wondered what it was that he saw. She knew she didn't yet look quite like an adult yet. She was small and short - she'd even heard herself described as delicate, though she didn't agree with that. She was certain she wasn't what anyone pictured when they thought of an auror.
"Send me a letter telling me that you want to join the team and a copy of your NEWT scores. I'll arrange an interview, and if that pans out, you can join the group that is testing two weeks from now," he finally said.
"Thank you, sir," Rachel said. She had no idea if he was taking her seriously at all or just felt he couldn't deny her the opportunity to try out for no reason. There was also a part of her that was glad that her name didn't simply earn her a spot - she had to go through the same process as anyone else who was applying.
A knock on the door caused Rachel to jump slightly. Robards moved around his desk to open it. "Esme," he said, backing up to allow her inside.
Rachel recognized Unspeakable Esme Lloyd. She'd met her twice, both times in her fifth year, when her memories were being examined by the Ministry to determine if what Umbridge had said about her was true.
"Esme, I believe you've met Wizengamot Member Snow," Madam Bones said.
"I have. It's nice to see you again, Wizengamot Member Snow. Under better circumstances, I hope," Unspeakable Lloyd said.
Rachel did not consider these better circumstances than the last time she saw her. In fact, they might even be worse. "It's nice to see you again too," she settled for saying.
"We'd like you to examine one of Miss Snow's memories for authenticity. Gawain and I will join you so that we can see if we can identify a person who has been indicated as being involved in a crime," Madam Bones explained.
Robards moved to the side of the room, opened a cabinet and brought out a Pensieve and set it on his desk.
"Whenever you're ready, Miss Snow," Madam Bones said.
"The whole memory, from start to finish if you would," Unspeakable Lloyd reminded her.
Rachel went over to the desk and focused. Everything from being removed from the prison cell in the sub-basement of Malfoy Manor to when she arrived in the hospital wing. She brought her wand up to her temple and carefully drew it away and set the shimmering memory down into the Pensieve, and then she staggered slightly.
"Come sit down," Tonks said, placing her hand on Rachel's shoulder and guiding her to a nearby chair.
Rachel felt dizzy and leaned forward. She knew exactly what she was missing, she'd relived it enough times in nightmares, but that didn't prevent the sense that something vital had been taken from her. She leaned all the way forward and put her head in her hands.
"Try taking a couple of deep breaths, I know that's disorienting," Tonks said quietly.
She focused on her breathing and tried to tear her mind away from what they were seeing about her right now. "Are they taking this so seriously because of who I am or because of who I'm accusing?" Rachel asked when she had the breath for it. "Or because they just want the Death Eaters out of the Wizengamot."
"All three. No love is lost between Madam Bones and Alfred Selwyn, I can promise you that. He's been an obstructionist in the Wizengamot for more than thirty years now. And the MLE is very aware of the potential threat against you. We can't ignore the possibility that Selwyn could try to act against you if he believed you were about to reveal something to the MLE. How secure is your home?" Tonks asked.
"Very. The Death Eaters and the Dark Lord can't find it," Rachel promised.
"Good. I'd suggest that until Selwyn is arrested that you stay out of public places as much as possible. And even afterward, keep your guard up. It won't take long for people to realize you were the person who accused Selwyn."
Rachel nodded and sat up again. She still felt a little dizzy, but it wasn't as bad now. Madam Bones, Robards, and Lloyd were all bent over the Pensieve and were unmoving except the slight rise and fall of their chests as they breathed. "I wish the newspaper would leave me alone."
"Unfortunately, I don't think that's ever going to happen. People are fascinated by you. They want to know more. You could write an autobiography and it would be a best-seller."
"I definitely don't want to write an autobiography. I want to write a book for muggleborns and their families helping them to understand the magical world so they aren't constantly feeling behind because they're lacking basic knowledge that everyone else knows."
"I never thought of it that way," Tonks said. "It would be an interesting book at least, though I don't know when you're going to find the time to write it. You do keep yourself busy."
Rachel was pretty sure she could write it during the times when she was supposed to be sleeping but couldn't go back to sleep. It would at least give her something to distract herself. Before she began writing she needed a structure. Maybe she could brainstorm with Hermione as they remembered things that caught them off guard, or things that Hermione's parents had questions about.
What seemed like a very long time later, Madam Bones, Robards, and Lloyd stood up.
"I give the authenticity of her memory at about ninety nine percent. I didn't see any artifacts suggesting that it has been influenced in any way," Unspeakable Lloyd said.
Rachel was relieved that the wall in her mind hadn't messed with her memory in some way.
"We'll have you sign a sworn statement to that effect, this will be going in front of a full Wizengamot trial," Robards said.
"You recognized Alfred Selwyn?" Rachel asked.
"Quite clearly. You got a good look at his face," Madam Bones said.
"We'll put together the documents for his arrest, he should be in custody by this time tomorrow," Robards said. "They must have been absolutely confident that you were going to die to have a Death Eater circle without masks."
Rachel had been pretty confident that she was going to die herself.
"We'd like a copy of your memory, Miss Snow. We were able to identify some of the other people in the circle at a first pass, but we'd like to see if we can get as many of them as possible," Robards said, already busy with a quill and parchment.
"You know how to copy your memory?" Unspeakable Lloyd asked.
Rachel nodded and went to the Pensieve. She braced herself for taking that memory back and staggered against the desk as it flashed through her mind, echoes of the pain washing over her body.
"Take a moment and breathe," Unspeakable Lloyd said.
She exhaled purposefully slowly, trying to regain the full function of her lungs and throat.
"You did well, Miss Snow. Not many people survive a Death Eater circle and come out the other side still able to live their lives," Madam Bones said.
Rachel shook her head and managed to stand up without supporting herself against the desk. "I was lucky. The way the Death Eaters cast the Cruciatus Curse in short periods meant that I kept my mind."
"That's common in Death Eater circles," Robards said. "I believe what Amelia was trying to say is that most people who survive a Death Eater circle, and there's not many of them to begin with, tend to retreat and stop living their lives. You are remarkably accomplished for someone your age who has lived through the things that you've lived through."
"I would never call someone who went through what you did lucky, but you should be proud that you have managed so well," Madam Bones added.
Rachel nodded, though she didn't particularly feel like she had managed this experience well. She'd built a wall in her mind and nearly broke her mind as the memory tried to get free. She'd become so sick with an eating disorder that Severus had nearly hospitalized her. And even now, two years later, she hadn't really managed to talk about what had happened with anyone.
She brought her wand to her temple again and thought the incantation to copy her memory and brought it back down to the Pensieve. At least copying a memory didn't have the same impact as removing and returning the memory. Her chest still hurt, and she felt exhausted, but she had survived it. "Do you need anything else from me?"
"No, that is all. Thank you, Miss Snow. Auror Tonks will see that you get safely where you're going. Please contact me if you have questions about how the case is going," Madam Bones said.
"Thank you," Rachel said, and managed to make herself walk calmly out of the Head Auror's office with Tonks instead of bolting like she wanted to.
"Back home?" Tonks asked.
"Yes, please," Rachel said.
"Let's get you there," Tonks said. "I'll get you to Sirius' house."
Rachel nodded. She thought she was going to go curl up somewhere and wait until her mind wasn't throwing pieces of the memory at her over and over again.