Edit : Weeb-factor turned down based on feedback.
The katana was a design of sword that worked with the conditions of its country of origin. Japan had very little in the way of iron, and even less iron that was of high quality. Were one to make a sword in the European method with the iron found in Japan, you'd get a worthless bit of scrap that breaks entirely too easily.
The katana is, by all regards, less versatile than the European arming swords and longswords, the ways in which one can use a katana are severely diminished by its nature as a weapon designed with the considerations of its homeland's material availability. It cannot stab very well, it cannot be used to perform a murderstroke, it cannot chop through harder materials very well at most angles.
What the katana is, is optimized for a singular type of attack. The downwards-diagonal slash performed with two hands. It performs moderately well with all varieties of slashes, namely the upwards-diagonal draw-slash, but the only type of attack in which it exceeds a longsword is that one. Uriel respected the katana for that reason, even if he preferred more European blades. The Japanese master smiths took some of the worst quality iron in the world and made it the best in the world in at least one regard. Considering that there were no less than two sword styles made specifically for the types of attacks the katana was capable of, and that they were historically relevant, one regard is all you really need.
The katana was a min-maxed sword design, and Uriel loved it for that reason. So as Adam opened the case containing their new mono-katana with a crimson blade, Uriel was practically jumping in excitement. Adam admitted, he was feeling fairly good as he inspected it as well. The professional handle, the sharpened edge, the microscopic scrawl of kanji on the spine, this was a detailed masterwork made for the purpose of butchering meat.
It was his now, he couldn't wait to try it out.
This was the most expensive weapon he had bought in a while, and he felt it was well deserved. A custom order Kendachi Mono-Three. Normally one of these is only about 5,000 eddies, but as a custom order from the manufacturers themselves this cost him 50,000. Literally ten times more expensive because they knew he could afford it. The fuckers better be happy they were far away from him right now, otherwise he'd test this out on them.
Eh, he might not do that, he got the indefinite replacement insurance policy to keep replacing it if it ever broke on him. They couldn't make him spares if they were all dead. He refrained from continueing his murderous line of thought and went back to considering the beautiful instrument of murder in his hands.
He wanted to use it really badly. He couldn't wait for tomorrow, he was already in a good mood for it.
—
"I want to help." Came the voice of the boy's girl. Adam stopped as he was opening the door to the elevator. The boy was called in for something PR wanted, and Adam was about to go join him. He turned and looked at the girl with the deep-dive unit and thought for a moment.
"You don't have the chrome for it." That was the simple truth of it. Adam and David both had Sandevistan units and lots of chrome. The girl had a wire in her arm and a plug in the back of her skull. She also didn't have the guts to handle much more chrome than that, Adam thought.
Both of them knew that she would only be a liability when a fight starts at corpo level without such enhancements. Against street-level meat she would do just fine, no doubt about that, but Adam and the kid were going to be fighting at a level so much higher than street it was in the clouds. So Adam was wondering where she was going with this. She looked to the side and downwards. "I want to help, so tell me how I can."
She was straight up going to ask, huh? Adam wasn't really sure what she could do, but Uriel had some ideas.
"Four things. One, cuddle with him after fucking. Men like sappy shit like that but will never admit it." She flushed when he mentioned sex, and he wasn't even done with this yet. Adam was already annoyed.
"Two, cook for him, make him dinner." She looked crestfallen at that and rubbed her arm with the other hand, so Uriel spoke up. "What?"
"I don't know how."
Adam let loose a long sigh, he didn't know how to cook either, he never needed to. But Uriel did and suggested…
No, absolutely fucking not. He was not about to waste his time teaching meatbags to make food for other meatbags. Uriel suggested something else, and Adam agreed to it.
"I will order a cookbook."
"I… I thought you were going to recommend other kinds of stuff, to be honest."
"I'm not done, girl. Three, you can act as an overwatch when we start getting jobs. Keep an eye out for trouble and call if you see anything." She gave a determined nod at that. Heh, girl at least knew how to do that, that was something.
"Fourth… I'll introduce you to my handler." That was something she could do right? Handle the kid's contracts as job offers come in.
After that waste of his time (not a waste, Adam, we need the kid sane, Uriel reminded) he entered the elevator and descended to the PR department to pick up his apprentice. His apprentice was in front of the happy vulture from before, holding a helmet with cameras on its side, looking a little bit lost with her rapid words.
Adam stomped over, he was going to grab the kid and go as fast as he could. Then the woman noticed his presence and did something he didn't expect.
She clapped her hands together and did a sixty degree bow. Adam was taken slightly aback, and resisted the urge to destroy what he didn't understand.
Although he was very close to it.
"I, Chiri Tanaka, deeply apologize Mr. Smasher!" She all but shouted out. Uriel pointed out that her name was "Cheery", which was downright humorous. Adam was confused at what the hell a corpo was doing, shouting like this. She continued, "We at the PR emphasized your mature appeal successfully, but upon review of yesterday's footage we discovered that we completely failed to account for your chauvinistic and roguish charm! We will correct this mistake as soon as possible!"
All around them various corpos at desks nodded in agreement, faces full of shame and design documents open pointing towards merchandise plans. Most of which had his new face crossed out.
…
What?
Uriel lost it.
She kept going, much to his increasing rage. "We are in the planning phases of your new aesthetics and will get them to you as soon as we can! Please bear with us!"
Adam decided that he didn't want to deal with this, so he grabbed the kid and started walking away. He ignored her shouted apologies and Uriel's laughter. He really wished he was allowed to butcher these meatbags, but that would go against his agreement to cooperate with PR.
Soon they were in the elevator once more. The kid was still holding the helmet with the cameras on the side. It looked like it was going to match both his armor and his jacket. Good, the aesthetics of a killer should be on point. It was to be expected, Adam supposed.
The marketing department does good work, after all.
Uriel finally stopped laughing.
'Heh, she seems fairly passionate about her job, huh?'
'I really wish I could kill them all.'
Uriel started laughing again. The kid still looked whiplashed.
—
They were on the streets again when they got jumped, perfectly according to the lesson plan. The kid now was equipped with his own set of cameras for the marketing to scrawl through, and was used to the procedure by now.
The kid was given the handgun and knife, but Adam was only planning on using his new purchase today. He and Uriel were both incredibly excited to see how well it would do. He doesn't remember the last time he just did something for the fun of it, but this was pretty fucking close.
The four that jumped them this time were exactly as ugly as all the rest of them have been. It didn't really matter though. They were all just meat to slaughter, and the butcher has a brand new knife.
"Now." Twin Sandevistans activated, the world slowed to a crawl, and Adam was already walking towards his new victims. He had done this so many times that he barely needed to think about which to kill first.
First, the one with the really bulky jacket and the handgun. Then the one with the shotgun. Then the one with the handgun and no jacket. Then the nude one with the brass knuckles. Each one taken out with a single slash to some vital area as he walked by. He flicked the blade and sheathed it before he let his Sandevistan deactivate.
All of them fell, gurgled screams trying to come out of their throats but failing as they died of excessive and immediate exsanguination. Adam all but groaned in pleasure as he stayed in position for a moment.
Adam stood fully and turned, looking upon the corpses. He had almost forgotten how satisfying a sword was. There really was no beating the classics when it came to butchery.
'Fucking weeb.' Uriel finally spoke up.
'Fuck off.' Adam replied, mood entirely too good to be mad.
He walked back over to the kid, and started the routine.
"What did you notice?"
"You're in a good mood." Little shit, you know that wasn't what he meant.
"Besides that."
"You went for the guy with the jacket first, despite him only having a Handgun. I'm guessing that he might be hiding something dangerous under his clothes then?"
"Correct and correct, good." Adam gave the kid credit, he was fast on the uptake when he wasn't being reckless. He walked over to the corpse with the jacket and opened it up with his foot, revealing a line of grenades on the inside. They were tied to the same string that connected to a ring on the meat's thumb. If Adam wasn't himself, the meat could have pulled that thumb and blown the alleyway out.
Adam and the kid would have been fine regardless, but it was the principle of the matter here. No fucking meat was going to blow up before he could slaughter it.
Also, potential VIPs usually can't survive that much explosive in their face, that too.
"Loose and bulky clothes on skinny fuckers like this should be prioritized. They don't always have explosives, but the few times they do you'll wish you took them out first.
"What else?"
"You didn't have to pull out your gun this time in order to finish them all before the Sandevistan timed out. Your new sword gives you a longer reach, when combined with your already long arms you can flatline just about everyone in a three meter radius."
"Correct and correct, again. You're getting good at this boy."
The boy reached up and rubbed the back of his helmet. "Thanks Smasher, top of my class for a reason."
"What else?"
"Well…"
And so it went on and on like that for the second day in a row. The kid has noticeably improved already, and would probably be ready to handle these encounters by this time tomorrow. Adam was thankful the kid stopped going to that academy, because his talent for combat was absolutely absurd.
A talent for handling chrome, a talent for combat, an ability to dehumanize the meat he butchers. It was like looking into a mirror of his younger self.
Eventually, Adam picked up some very interesting radio chatter.
"...got a cyberpsycho on west and main 44… requesting backup…"
Adam checked his mental map and realized that was a mere two blocks away. This day was going so perfectly! He tuned to the same frequency and sent a response.
"This is Adam Smasher, I am two blocks away. Please evacuate non-combatants."
There was a pause in the radio chatter.
"...Iceman Smasher's on the way…get these fucking civs out of here…"
He started running in the direction, the kid quickly following him. Adam explained the situation.
"Cyberpsycho close by. It will be a good lesson."
"You gonna chop up a chrome junkie?"
"No, I am going to disable it without using weapons."
"You're a netrunner too?"
"No." That wasn't really true, Uriel could do most of a Netrunner's job at this point. Still, Adam wasn't planning on doing that.
He was going to demonstrate why he was teaching the kid unarmed stances. Uriel grinned and sat back to watch the upcoming show, Adam didn't intend to disappoint.
They eventually got to the police ring. In the center of the courtyard was the aforementioned cyberpsycho. Adam was downright impressed just how large they managed to make this one, being nearly ten feet tall. Most of that was in the immense legs that were occasionally kicking police vehicles dozens of feet into the air and turning cops into smears. The head was completely chromed over, a blank mask that looked like a torture device. The arms were just as large, and were bulky beyond belief.
The only thing that wasn't large was its head, in fact. It looked absolutely miniscule on the immense hulk of chrome and meat. Uriel noticed something fishy was up with this situation, cyberpsychos don't usually show up in the middle of main roads with chrome that polished. Adam didn't really care, the thing looked fun to break.
Adam jumped in, tossing his sword still in sheath to the kid, and running past cops behind quickly erected barricades. Uriel reminded Adam that marketing wanted him to shout out his attacks if possible. Adam growled and reminded Uriel that he already told them to fuck off with that. Uriel laughed.
The psycho noticed him, and reared up a mighty kick. Adam scoffed at how telegraphed it was, fucking amateurs, he'll show them how to kick.
He sidestepped and the kick went past him, kicking up a mighty wind that nevertheless didn't phase him at all. He was six-hundred pounds of metal, something like that was a light breeze. He didn't activate the Sandevistan, he didn't need it this time. The purpose of this fight was to demonstrate a method to disable others who borged up.
He set his arm back, and started vibrating it rapidly enough to kick up its own wind. He twisted his body as the psycho's foot came back down, and let his rotation funnel entirely into his arm as he spun.
Adam's rapidly-vibrating fist crashed into the psycho's knee from the back. The psycho screamed as its knee practically disintegrated. A few hundred pounds of cheap leg chrome flew off and landed with a mighty crash.
The Tank-Fist was a style of martial art that was only taught to full-borgs. Originally designed for zero-g combat encounters, it was a relatively simple style in principle. Vibration and rotational force combined to deal more damage than one's weight and speed would normally allow. It was not taught to non-borgs for a very simple reason.
The forces imparted onto one's own body using it would tear all but full-borgs completely apart. The move he just performed, the heart-strike? That would have left a human in a casket afterwards. Adam wasn't a master of the style by any means, but he could push it a lot farther than most masters by virtue of his more advanced frame.
His was the basics, pushed to an absurd degree, he didn't know any of the more advanced techniques because no master wanted to teach Adam Smasher how to be even more dangerous. So he had to learn it on his own. It was a style that was the most effective against firmer and larger targets, targets like other full-borgs.
The reason he was able to tear the Cyberskeleton apart with so much ease? Panzerfaust.
Uriel piped up that Pondsmith was a hack writer, and this was stolen from Alita anyways. Adam told him to shut up.
The psycho let loose a robotic scream and swiped its massive right arm at him. Adam was already in range, so he raised one foot, twisted his torso a full rotation, and let his vibrating foot collide against the oncoming arm.
A thunderous boom as steel smashed into steel.
The psycho's arm burst into scraps of the cheap chrome that it was made of, raining over the plaza for a fifty foot cone away from him.
It was all over at this point for the psycho, now it was only an extended execution. Adam always did like scrapping inferior products.
Soon enough, the thing was a pile of metal and chunks of meat scattered over a hundred-yard radius. Adam walked back over to the kid, who numbly handed over his new sword.
"That is why stances are important."
"...yeah…"
Heh, good to know the kid can still be impressed by something. The kid stared for a moment before speaking.
"That's what you're teaching me?"
"Yes."
"...so fucking preem."
"Indeed."
"...Hey, I've been wondering…"
"Yes?"
"Can I get a sword too? It seems pretty nova."
Adam completely stopped for a moment, before turning to the kid. Staring for a long moment to make sure he was serious. The kid seemed like he was. Adam turned and started walking back to the driver to bring them back to the tower.
"We're heading back for today."
"Why? It's only been three hours."
"Ordering your sword."
The kid sure as fuck hurried up after that. Uriel started chuckling.
—
It was the next day, and the kid's turn to butcher meat. Adam handed him a pistol and a knife and the kid held onto them as per routine. Then Adam spoke up, "You will be fighting today.".
The kid paused at that.
"Alright, nova. Should I keep anything in mind while flatlining them?"
"Try to follow the guidelines and maintain your stance, I will tell you where you went wrong each time."
"Gotcha."
That was that. The two of them started walking through a route they haven't used yet in order to lure fresh meat to them, and waited for scavs to feel brave.
The kid would slaughter them as expected, and Adam would tell him where he could have been more efficient. Adam didn't have to correct many mistakes, way fewer than he had been expecting if he was being entirely honest. The kid was a natural.
He was never quite as good as Adam was, but that was to be expected. Adam was Adam fucking Smasher.
"...You could have improved your time by going to the left of the first meat rather than right, as your knife is in your left hand."
"Ah, I wasted a moment having to twist more than required?"
"Correct."
Adam's optics noticed a glint of something on the building on the other side of the street. Eight decades of combat experience demanded he turn on the Sandevistan and get in between the glint and his VIP.
He moved as fast as he could.
He was in between his protegee and a slug of metal that was alarmingly fast even in his Sandevistan's world of slowed time. He drew his blade and cut down on the solid lump of metal that was moving about as fast as an arrow before it hit his apprentice.
He locked his eyes on where the angle told him the slug came from and let his Sandevistan time out.
A tremendous boom would've ruptured a meatbag's ear drums from a hundred feet as the slug's shockwave hit him and the two halves of the slug delivered their tremendous kinetic energy to their surroundings. A second boom as that kinetic energy shook the ground around them.
That was one of the highest kinetic impact railgun shots he had ever seen. He had seen quite a few railgun shots in his time. He messaged his apprentice.
[We are under attack, flee to tower, move unpredictably, I will handle this.]
His dumbass fucking apprentice shitling had the audacity to talk back. Uriel reminded him that the enemy was the target, not their investment.
[I can't leave you alone against this fucker! Let me help!]
[Absolutely fucking not. You are a liability in this fight. Run now.]
[...You better survive this, Smasher, or I'm scrapping your ass.]
[I'm Adam fucking Smasher.]
The wonders of his apprentice taking so long meant that the fucker with the railgun had time to line up another shot. Another glint and his Sandevistan activated. This time the shot came from another building, he cut it in half too.
Time resumed at normal pace and another pair of explosions rocked the alley he was in. The buildings on either side of the alley were starting to lose integrity and crumble. His apprentice activated their own Sandevistan and ran as fast as he could. Smasher saw him duck behind cover in the far distance to wait a second before activating it again. Good, he was pacing himself, he'll make it.
Now, all Smasher had to deal with was some arrogant little shit that thought it had the right to scrap his investment. It had one of the strongest railguns he had ever seen, a stealth system that somehow hid it from his enhanced sight except when firing a shot, and was fast enough to reposition a building away in between shots.
All Adam had was a pistol, his knife, his sword, and his fists.
…Heh, finally a good fucking fight. Adam and Uriel grinned in unison.