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Topic: Adam Smasher General Discussion Thread
In: Boards Corporations Arasaka
Darkwraith_Lance (Original Poster) (Verified Edgelord) (Community Helper)
Posted on June 1, 2076:
This is the thread dedicated as a containment thread for everything related to the Arasaka employee Adam Smasher. We only get to keep one of these up after last time, so no unleashing daemons on people you disagree with. They have rangebanned the runners responsible since, and the mods won't hesitate to do so again.
Remember, there are no rules about moderation. Enjoy your ban if you piss them off.
Having said that. The following links contain the archive of basically everything known about the man in question. Remember to check the archive before asking questions about available content. Original content takes about a day or so before being added to the archive, we have to first check with the lawyer if it's legal to have saved or not.
So no, no pirated content, you have to go somewhere else for that.
LINK 1, LINK 2, LINK 3, LINK 4, LINK 5
EDIT : Welp, this year was already pretty eventful. Mods, can we have multiple threads again? We ran out of space on this one.
(Showing Page 13 of 99)
Mister5by5 (Borg Watcher) (NC Resident)
Replied on September 1, 2076:
Hey guys, thought you might want to know this. Adam Smasher finished a job without killing anyone for once.
For those of us who live in nice places, I'll explain. Earlier today here in NC there was a huge amount of rukus as an Edgerunner strapped himself into an experimental frame of some kind and went on a rampage against the Militech divsion stationed here, and then onto assault Arasaka Tower itself.
Needless to say, Adam Smasher promptly threw them out of the tower and into the basement level of the courtyard right outside the building (breaking the courtyard in the process, because smasher of course).
Here's where the story gets weird. Adam Smasher proceeded to beat them down, and then call Trauma Team in for the group. None of them were dead when TT got there. I'll ask around to see if I can figure out what's going on.
Buttchug_Bandit
Replied on September 1, 2076:
bullshit, but big if true
Fredry the Threadly
Replied on September 1, 2076:
You're fucking with us, 5x5.
Smasher kills people, that's his gimmick.
But of course, you're pretty reliable when it comes to this stuff, so I have to work with this.
Smasher wouldn't spare someone if he could help it, so this must have been an order from his Handler or something. Arasaka wants the Edgerunner alive.
We need more deets info bro. Who are the people that got the one-in-a-million survival rate gacha here? What about that frame? Why attack Militech and then go into Arasaka Tower?
Golden_leg_jimmy
Replied on September 1, 2076:
Smasher is clearly putting the meat in the fridge for later. Man leans into that 'butcher' thing entirely too much.
Mister5by5 (Borg Watcher) (NC Resident)
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Right got a bit more info on hand here.
We got the public info on the lucky ragtag bunch.
IMG LINK
David Martinez - was in Arasaka Academy, single mother, dropped out and became a fairly decent edgerunner for about a year.
IMG LINK
Lucyna Kushinada - Might be the daughter of the Arasaka executive with the same last name, apparently a pretty decent netrunner, probably in a relationship with David.
IMG LINK
Rebecca Salcedo - Probably a former mox girl, from the tattoos. Last name was only found on a mugshot, so who knows if it's real. Was part of a different crew before Martinez left school behind.
IMG LINK
Falcon Reyes - Definitely a former and current Nomad, no doubt about it. Got his name off one of my Nomad buddies, who actually knew the guy. Was part of Martinez's crew these past couple of months apparently.
These four are the only known survivors of Adam Smasher in the last decade or so.
Metal_Gear_Chungus
Replied on September 2, 2076:
So a chromejunkie, a girl who is related to an Arasaka exec, a prostitue, and a cowboy?
Yeah, I see what happened here. Her daddy pulled some strings and got Smasher to back off killing all her little friends in exchange for her coming back home no doubt.
Fucking Corpbrats
BigDonCampus
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Ehh... I'm not sure if that's true here. It feels too easy, and Smasher has murdered execs that piss him off before, it's his one redeeming feature.
Calling it now, there's something else at play here.
Trusty_Patches (DangerGal)
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Got an explanation for you boys, you're going to love this.
The external cameras aimed at the courtyard were able to catch the fight and record the video well enough. Enhancing the sound quality, we can actually make out what they say.
And before anyone asks, yes this is legal. Public footage may be bought at the standard rates from the city hall by anyone with citizenship.
VIDEO LINK
Not gonna lie, probably the most I've ever heard the killborg ever speak before. Normally he just kills everyone around him and occasionally throws out a one-liner.
Buttchug_Bandit
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Holy shit, Smasher is old. I knew he was old but...
Fucking hell the dude is 90 as a coporate solo. Whats the average life expectentcy for those guys again? Liek 27 or something?
Fredry the Threadly
Replied on September 2, 2076:
...So Adam actually did intend to spare them?
Watching this now.
EDIT : I don't want to believe that explanation, but it makes perfect sense. I guess I just never expected Adam "I kill orphanges for fun" to be introspective. Especially not about cyberpsychosis or passing on a legacy of all things.
Again, it makes sense, but it doesn't... It's Smasher. Quoting ancient texts here, but the only ones who can live alone are gods and monsters. I fully expected Smasher, the monster of arasaka, to be able to live alone until he died of old age or something.
Golden_leg_jimmy
Replied on September 2, 2076:
And that one quote. "I never had anything to lose in the first place."
Fucking hell Smasher, I don't want to understand you, that makes it all worse.
Mister5by5
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Smasher admitting anyone having posistive qualites other than himself also feels weird.
"You got talent."
That's downright bizarre to listen too.
Californians_Arn't_Human
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Meh, Smasher was always like this. Go into the archive and look at stuff he used to do and say back in the 2010s and whatnot. Dude was a lively, bombastic, mass murderer.
We just don't hear him talk too often nowdays. He hasn't changed a fucking bit.
My best guess as to this whole affair? He got bored of overpowering everyone he went up against, and is now getting a human pokemon to throw at people. It's more challenging that way.
BigDonCampus
Replied on September 2, 2076:
Huh, guess there was indeed something else at play.
Adam Smasher's heart grew three sizes that day. It's now the size of the average tablet of tylonoloxide.
Baby steps, maybe he'll be a functional human in about a hundred more years. If he lives that long.
Metal_Gear_Chungus
Replied on September 2, 2076:
He won't, man's made too many enemies in life to survive that long. Luckiest fucker in the world world just to survive this long with how much of a bastard he is.
Florghorg_the_unwilling
Replied on September 2, 2076:
He will not survive that long.
I will make sure of it.
This is a threat.
SmashmeDaddy
Replied on September 3, 2076:
This speech is a fucking goldmine for voicelines.
Gonna be saving these as best I can, maybe try running them through the AI speaker, see if that improves the quality.
Can't wait to spam them in Team Fortress.
Thanks @Mister5by5 , your borgwatching comes in assistance yet again.
Samurai_Forever (NC Resident)
Replied on September 3, 2076:
Fuck this shit, you fuckers aren't angrier about this? What the fuck is wrong with all of you?!
Smasher is about to torture a bunch of poor brats until they turn into mini-hims. Then the world will have to deal with fucking five Adam Smashers, not one.
You're watching the start of the end of the world in live action and none of you are doing anything? Fuck off.
40lbsofcrackcocaine
Replied on September 3, 2076:
Fuck off Samurai. You want something done, do it yourself. You won't though, pussy.
Mister5by5 (Borg Watcher) (NC Resident)
Replied on September 4, 2076:
No problem, @SmashmeDaddy
Glad to be a help.
SwordofSilence (Shitposter)
Replied on September 4, 2076:
Lots of good meme content here fellas, funnyboys are eating good tonight.
Reaction images, for you all to enjoy :
(All Outta Meds?)
IMG LINK
(You might want to stay seated, girl)
IMG LINK
(Don't Lie to yourself)
IMG LINK
(You'll get it perfect this time, right?)
IMG LINK
(That's cyberpsychosis, that's the end for a chrome junkie.)
IMG LINK
(You have things to lose.)
IMG LINK
(I never had anything to lose in the first place)
IMG LINK
(You got talent)
IMG LINK
(Nothing Personal about that)
IMG LINK
Buttchug_Bandit
Replied on September 4, 2076:
@SwordofSilence
I figured out your strategy now. You just spam as many things as possible and hope some of it gets popular.
The only one worth using in that bunch is "All outta Meds?", which is admittedly hilarious.
SwordofSilence
Replied on September 4, 2076:
I made more. Try and stop me.
(Send me the bill)
IMG LINK
(No)
IMG LINK
(Yes)
IMG LINK
Golden_leg_jimmy
Replied on September 4, 2076:
Huh, just noticed something.
He says "I will no longer require the possibility of civillian casualties in my contracts."
...Smasher redemption arc? He's not going to be killing any bystanders anymore it seems like.
Fredry the Threadly
Replied on September 4, 2076:
You think Arasaka really cares about bystanders? Nice joke bro.
The more interesting part is the second thing.
"I will cooperate with PR."
Which means we might get Adam saying cheesy bullshit for the investors, lol.
Why was he talking aloud on his call though? He didn't need to do that? We can't hear what the other person is saying sure, but he didn't need to verbalize a thing here.
Did he forget about it? Does he have dementia?
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(Showing Page 98 of 99)
Gonkfucker
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Samhill
What are you? A retard?
Goblin_Layer
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Becca's tiny, sweaty, blue tummy.
Bengali_Lad
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Goblin_Layer
I'm intrigued, tell me more.
Ass_slinging_slasher
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Bronstan
No, we have literally no idea how the fuck Smasher has been hacking shit with his ICON. We have no idea what it's connection to the Turtleknight in France was either.
All we know, from a netrunning perspective, is that that shit is fucking magic and makes literally no sense.
Far as we can tell, you can just weaponize your soul or some bullshit like that if you are a borg. Jojo is literally real, the Japanese have won.
Saburo Arasaka broke into the Demiurge's house and scribbled "Make anime real" about fifty times in all the margins probably. Makes sense with the old hateful fuck.
Goblin_Layer
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Bengali_Lad
Becca's sloppy wet lips kissing all over your face. Her tiny creepy hands groping and trying to grab hold of your own, much bigger, ones. Her blushing blueberry face as you tease her.
GobJobs.
Shipper_In_Seat
Replied on October 14, 2076:
IMG LINK
Debbido...
Californians_Arn't_Human
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Blackhand didn't kill a single person in his entire career. Everyone knows that no people live in California, only animals.
SwordofSilence
Replied on October 14, 2076:
IMG LINK
Rucy...
MoreChromeMorePlates
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Since when the fuck did this thread become nonsensical and repeated phrases, amvs of Smasher killing people, and one fuck who won't stop being horny all the time.
@Bengali_Lad , Stop encouraging him, he's already bad enough.
Darkwraith_Lance (Original Poster) (Verified Edgelord) (Community Helper)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@MoreChromeMorePlates
Since the official Adam Smasher isekai anime came out, I think.
Justice4Haruko (BD Enjoyer)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
HOLY SHIT GUYS
IT'S HAPPENING
REAL OFFICIAL NEVER EVER NOW IN STOCK
WE HAVE AN OFFICIAL ARASAKA LISCENSED ADAM SMASHER BD!
IT'S OF HIS FIGHT IN FRANCE!
HOLYSHITHOLYSHIT.
LINK
Pacifica_Thug_69
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Justice4Haruko
1000 eddies
The fucking shit is this? That's goddamn absurd.
Arasaka you greedy bastards.
Known_Sociopath
Replied on October 14, 2076:
That price.
The Japanese Jew strike again.
SmashmeDaddy (Shitposter)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Known_Sociopath
Impossible, remember the ancient texts.
The Samurai is the exact opposite of the Jew.
The Jew fears the Samurai.
Johnny was trying to warn us all along.
This is just regular greed methinks.
Pacifica_Thus_69
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Geh, not going to spend that much on something until I get a review.
Can someone else take the first hit on everyone's behalves here? I wanna get confirmation that it's quality before forking over that much eddies on a BD.
Zhuo_witches
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Right, So I'll go ahead and buy it. I got the eddies to burn if it flops.
EDIT : Typing this up through what is probably a lethal dose of tylenoloxide. We are going to have to go back and recreate all of those fan made Smasher Bds because none of them are accurate.
So, Dragoon frame Bds are always sorta hazy, owing to the amount of drugs you have to keep people on to not go crazy in the damn things, right? Everyone knows this part. The leading theory was that Smasher was just used to the drugs to the point where he could function mostly normally.
As it turns out, that was wrong. The BD contains none of the signs of the clouding-effect that a drug-using source indicates. Smasher is in a fucking dragoon frame 24/7 without anything keeping his brain together from running the fucking things. Goddamn. My input had to inject me with some suppresants in my fucking chair to keep my brain from going over the deep end. Second-hand feedback and I nearly lost it. Smasher is just raw-dogging that the whole time.
The clear frame use is fucking insanity by the way, as well as the high grade sandy they got installed on him. I think I know what it's like to be a god now, because jesus. The world was made of cardboard and moving slow as molasses while it was on. No wonder Smasher has such a titanic ego, i have one now as well because of that.
Then the turtleknight kicked my fucking arm and exploded it. The thing is? We always assumed Smasher had pain adjustors like everyone else in the fucking world. It makes sense, right? He hasn't shown a response to pain since, what? 2009?
No, the fucker has no pain supressant of any kind. I know what it's like to have my arm shatter under a magical kung-fu kick and have to fight through that regardless.
Forget the Dragoon Frame, Smasher has been raw-dogging fucking everything.
Holy fuck, it hurts so goddamn much.
Very much worth the price, going to replay this over and over when I can think through a migrane again.
Going to crash now.
Exolifter_and_acessories
Replied on October 14, 2076:
What the fuck is the point of this "Debbido" "Rucy" bullshit? Fuck off and stop wasting thread space with it.
EDIT :
No drugs
No painkiller
Fucking hell, I'll never be that goddamn cool.
I have to buy it now, there goes a few months of salary i guess.
Knife's_Edge
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Nu-Smasher fucking sucks, and all the newfags here that think he's cool with that stupid fucking face need to fuck off.
He's a goddamn warmachine, not this faggot-ass 'monster with a heart of gold' bullshit.
Worst thing that they've done to him ever. Where's my silent murderbot? They stole him from me.
Man_Of_Mystery (Oldestfag)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Knife's_Edge
Post-nuke newfag
Calling anyone a newfag
Get fucking real kid and fuck off out of our thread. Go back to Didit or something.
2010s Adam was fun as fuck, running around like a murderous chimpanzee, saying terminator lines, going to parties. He was awesome. Then he got depressed because both his eternal rival and his girl left him.
Only now is he becoming fun again.
Speaking of which,
@OfficialMichiko I STILL SHIP YOU TWO! GET BACK TOGETHER SO HE CAN GET IN THE ELVIS BODY AGAIN!
#BRINGELVISSMASHERBACK
VeryDisonorabu
Replied on October 14, 2076:
The Smasher knows where it is at all times
It knows this because it knows where it isn't
By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is, it obtains a difference or deviation
The guidance subsystem uses deviations to generate corrective commands to drive the Smasher from a position where it is to a position where it isn't and arriving at a position that it wasn't, it now is
Consequently, the position where it is is now the position that it wasn't, and it follows that the position that it was is now the position that it isn't
In the event that the position that it is in is not the position that it wasn't, the system has acquired a variation
The variation being the difference between where the smasher is and where it wasn't
If variation is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by the GEA
However, the Smasher must also know where it was
The Smasher guidance computer scenario works as follows
Because a variation has modified some of the information that the Smasher has obtained, it is not sure just where it is
However, it is sure where it isn't, within reason, and it knows where it was
It now subtracts where it should be from where it wasn't, or vice-versa
And by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be and where it was, it is able to obtain the deviation and its variation, which is called error
EDIT : Breaking update lads, the Smasher now knows where YOU are.
Goaker
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Still laughing at the fact that the only ones who survived the turtleknight are both east-asian.
Heh, weeb supremecy strikes again lads.
Pacifica_Thus_69
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Zhuo_witches
Fuck, geuss I have to buy it now.
There goes eating two meals a day for a while, back to one agian.
SmashmeDaddy (Shitposter)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
Made another AMV of our Dadam Smasher ;
LINK
Abbey_34 (Smasher Fangirl)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@SmashmeDaddy
Oh yiss, gimme dat.
I think I'm going to buy another dakimakura of my husbando to celebrate.
He's so handsome, He just needs someone to love.
He's so seiso~
Official_Brick@Maelstrom (NC Gangleader)
Replied on October 14, 2076:
@Zhuo_wtiches
Heh, nice
Gonna have to get my hands on this now. Can't wait to play it.
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