Ch00 of "Life goes on" – or a Christmas Thanksgiving – or "Life is for the living"
A/N: AU. This is a fictional story, in a fictional Alternative Universe, about fictional characters who entertained us in a fictional TV series between 1995 and 2005. Mike. Characters borrowed with love and appreciation for the great team who brought us "JAG"; may your following careers blossom.
A/N: AU: "they aren't mine: I'm just playing with them - apart from any fictional character created by myself". See Ch00 of this story for the whole disclaimer A/N. Feel free to PM me if you spot any typos - my goal is 100% error-free. Feedback and comments are also welcome. Your opinions, critiques (and requests as PMs) are always helpful - and will be considered.
A/N: Publication date: 22-DEC-2023: AU: **Major Character deaths** - 2001 and 2002 saw several massive events in the lives of the JAG team, where the consequences could have been significant with different outcomes. For my Christmas 2023 one-off, I imagine a different run-up to Christmas of 2002 – with profoundly amended lifelines along "the roads not taken"...
Merry Christmas 2023 - IRL, we hope for a peaceful Christmas and a better 2024. This is my "Christmas carol" to all my readers. *revisions 23-12-2023 ahead of a follow-up*
A/N: Canon episode: "Guilt" S07Ep04 first broadcast on 16OCT2001; "Answered Prayers" s07Ep11 (11DEC2001): "Defending his Honor" S07EP22 (07MAY2002) and "Enemy Below" S07Ep24, 21MAY2002.
Characters from FFNET – H Rabb jr; Harriett Sims-Roberts: Sarah Mackenzie: Bud Roberts jr.
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Ch00 of "Life goes on" – or a Christmas Thanksgiving – or "Life is for the living"
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Christmas 2001: Saturday 22nd December 2001:
Apartment of Harmon Rabb, North of Union station, Washington DC, United States
As the USA headed into Christmas at the end of its turbulent year, Harm found himself looking forward to getting out to La Jolla for the New Year celebrations.
He was packing his suitcase ahead of leaving on the 27th. He felt honour-bound to remain in DC for the Christmas period. The echoes of Mac's adventures in Aceh in Indonesia during the October (straight after the upheavals of 9/11) had him keen to stay close-by.
From early November, Harm had got into the habit of going across and speaking with Mac every Saturday morning. He usually brought the coffee and stayed for an hour, updating Mac on any little items of news from JAG HQ or their circle of friends.
The inquiries into "the Indonesia Embassy Incident" (or "the Aceh Firefight") were continuing and he wanted to ensure that Mac's reputation was protected. Little Liliana (once the little girl had been located) had been very forthright in her defence of how "brave lady Mac" had handled herself in the darkness and confusion of the firefight. Liliana had bene instrumental in helping mac to discover a hidden way out from the Embassy to the RV point on the sports ground.
Mac's stubborn defence and quick reorganisation of the embassy perimeter after the injuries and loss of the leading members of the USMC embassy security contingent had been analysed endlessly - and the mood in DC was moving steadily in the direction of a medal.
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Christmas 2001: Friday 28th December 2001:
Burnett family residence, Hidden Valley Road La Jolla, 92037 CA, United States
As the Californian sunshine warmed his bones after the chill of DC, Harm relaxed and assisted his mom Trisha Burnett with chores around the house. Frank had booked him for a round of golf on the Saturday and, for the first time in some years, Harm was looking forward to the challenge.
An introduction to a recently-divorced brunette (whom he had lusted after from afar during their High School days) resulted in two evening assignations, but Harm really could not commit and he was honest with Andrea about his background and the reasoning.
She understood and confessed that – in part – she had only agreed to the "dates" in order to keep her mom quiet and to get out of the family home. An intelligent woman (she had helped Harm with his Chemistry work across two High School years), she also realised that Harm had unfinished "business" with the woman whom he referred to as "Mac". Nevertheless, both of them enjoyed the other's company in a friendly, platonic way as the new year arrived in California. It turned out that an impromptu gathering of ten alumni from La Jolla High spent the final three hours of 2001 around a beach bonfire just north of the Coast Guard station. Harm and Andrea had shared a blanket, as well as two large Thermos flasks of hot chocolate.
It was a great way to see in the start of 2002 - and his heart lifted briefly with the midnight kiss, framed by the inly blackness of the pacific behind her.
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He arrived back into DC for January 5th, as 2002 opened up with a brief rush of new year optimism.
The next Senate hearing on Aceh was scheduled for late March. In comparison to the nationwide angst regarding the 9/11 attacks, the little "brush fire" in Indonesia barely merited a mention, despite the consequences.
During the first part of 2002, he found himself occasionally allocated to mentoring the "little blonde spitfire" known as Lt Loren Singer. They had butted heads (gently) several times since her arrival in late 1999 and he found himself steadily growing to realise that she might be an advantage for him. If he could mentor her and improve her image, then the lack of "staff" experience on his SRB might begin to close. After all, Bud Roberts jr had been one of Harm's previous success stories and was now earmarked for sea duty (much to Singer's evident annoyance).
With Bud afloat, Harriet had confided in Harm that she was unsure how to tell Bud that she had bought a new home for the Roberts family. Despite her loss of little Sarah in November 2000, she was steadily recovering her equilibrium – and had supported Bud's deployments because it formed part of him gaining the necessary SRB checkpoints to advance through the ranks.
Harriet even tolerated Loren Singer's revelation that Bud had Jennifer Coates as his onboard Legalman. After all, she was amongst those who had seen Jenn Coates at the first Christmas party, where many JAG regulars had realised that the hurt, defensive young woman had potential. Her performance in the onboard posting had validated the faith which had been placed in Jenn Coates.
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Tuesday 21st May 2002:
Air Boss desk, USS Seahawk, Afghan operational area, Arabian Sea.
As Harm was leading the enemy missile away from the fleet, Bud was preparing for the flight ashore accompanied by Jenn Coates. She had impressed him during her posting to the carrier and they had made a good team. Rebuilding the school would make good on a promise from the US forces. Jenn enjoyed her time with Bud - regarding him rather like "the annoying big brother you didn't want" and yet finding him to be good company.
Despite Loren Singer's plotting, Bud and Harriet had a solid marriage. Singer's mischievous disclosure of Harriet's house purchase had not, in fact, produced a rift. Bud very calmly announced that he trusted Harriet and that she would – no doubt – have found a superb home for their family. As he added, that was why he had left her a Power of Attorney.
Jenn's confidence and self-belief came to the fore after Bud walked into the minefield. She "convinced" a nearby chopper pilot to fly Bud directly out to the carrier for medical treatment, rather than waiting for a tasked CASEVAC helicopter.
Bud lived for 13 more hours, before finally succumbing to his traumatic injuries. Once the exhausted surgeon had relayed the news, Harm and Jenn simply embraced in the corridor, before he took on the role – as senior officer – to report the devastating news back to Washington.
Leaving Sturgis and Singer behind on the carrier, Harm and Jenn accompanied Bud back home Stateside.
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Memorial Day later that month had a strongly-personal impact on all of the JAG staff.
He made a point of talking to Mac on that Saturday. The missile incident was another reminder of his mortality – coming just a year after he and Skates had nearly drowned when their Tomcat had gone down enroute to Mac's wedding-that-wasn't-a-wedding-in-the-end…
This Tomcat-driving JAG lawyer was using up his nine lives – and maybe it was time to settle down.
The opportunity presented itself just a few weeks later.
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Thursday 6th June 2002:
Capitol hearing rooms B-26. Washington DC
As the Aceh incident enquiry resumed (NCIS had completed the in-country enquiry after the situation had calmed down, aided by the local Police Chief who had worked with Mac in the period before the attack), Bobbi Latham was in the chair.
Her sympathetic, careful management of the hearing meant that it was early in the afternoon that the final "elephant in the room" question was asked.
The room fell silent as the story was told.
The waist-door gunner on the Marine helicopter was able to report on the range of enemy targets who had been firing at the embassy staff as the helo came in hot, to land on the playing field. With rapid boarding of the evacuees, he had been directing suppressing fire in multiple directions using the outboard mounting for the minigun.
He recalled Mac in her USMC uniform, having thrown the last evacuee into the chopper, looking up at him and smiling – just as the stray incoming round hit her in the middle of the back, exploding through her chest into the interior of the chopper. He had briefly seen the light go out of her eyes, before he had to return to the task at hand.
Two embassy staff had grabbed her dying body and hauled her aboard. just as the gunner homed in on the last enemy position – silencing the muzzle flashes of the last of the gunmen - but about seven seconds too late to save Mac.
The hearing concluded that nothing practical could be learned from the situation - sometimes, body armour is inaccessible or impractical in the circumstances. Lieutenant-Colonel Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie was deemed to have acted with initiative and determination, selflessly leading the Embassy contingent to safety, in the highest traditions of the US Marine Corps.
Mac's posthumous award was confirmed and sent up the chain of command.
Harm took the Friday off, to recover from the re-opened wounds which the inquiry had probed. He actually managed a few hours of sleep on the Friday night.
That Saturday, Harm was back talking to Mac. It was just three days after Bud's interment with full military honours.
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Saturday 8th June 2002:
Arlington Arlington National Cemetery, Arlington, VA 22211.
As Harm knelt down ready to speak to Mac, he recognised Harriett just a few rows further away, being supported by a tearful Jenn Coates.
He cut short his time with Mac - promising to return the next day if possible – and headed across the hallowed ground with its neatly-mown grass and regimented lines of headstones.
Harriet, accompanied by three-year-old AJ Roberts (who had celebrated his third birthday just the month before, shortly before his father had died in a far-away land) still looked grief-stricken. Jenn was supporting her as the recently-widowed USN officer stared disconsolately down at the flowers around the grave.
Instinctively, Harm hugged her – and she returned the hug, burying her face into his chest as the tears began again.
"Oh dear God Harm: I thought I could get through this – but Jeez it is *so* hard."
She sniffled, gratefully acknowledging the Kleenex passed over by Jenn.
Harm knelt to speak with little AJ, mindful that Harriet had also – within the previous 18 months - lost her little unborn daughter Sarah.
"Are you looking after your Mommy, young AJ?"
"Yes I am, Unca Harm; every day in every way. Why are you here, Unca Harm?"
He looked briefly at Harriet, who simply nodded: there was an unacknowledged link between them and he suddenly felt at peace for having left Mac early. He knew that Mac was alright with him moving to assure and comfort Harriet.
Suddenly, he remembered a throwaway comment that Mac had made, sometime early in their partnership: "Life is for the living."
God, how he missed those chocolate-brown eyes. They could express so many emotions, thoughts, ideas and concerns without words.
He missed her: but he knew that her spirit wanted him to comfort the living.
"Well, little AJ: your Unca Harm was visiting Auntie Mac over there, so he has a very good idea of what your Momma is going through right now. When the JAG family has some bad news, we all get together to help and comfort each other." He reached across and Harriet took his hand. Jenn Coates stepped slightly away to the side; Harm stood up, reaching out with his other arm. She closed the gap and gratefully joined in the hug, with Little AJ in the middle of the three adults.
After a few minutes, Harriet broke up the grouping, looking at both Harm and Jenn before smiling as she admitted "phew, I needed that!"
Neither Harm nor Jenn was inclined to disagree with Harriet's assessment of the situation.
"OK people, let's go find somewhere for hot chocolate".
An enthusiastic "yay!" from Little AJ was all the confirmation that the adults needed. It may have been the beginning of June, but there was a chill wind blowing around the headstones.
Anyways, who doesn't like chocolate?
The chocolate stop also delayed the moment that Harriet had come to dread – going home to a silent house…
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Over cups of steaming hot chocolate, Harriet invited Harm – and Jenn – to come over for food that Saturday evening. She still craved company in what was the new home that Bud had never actually seen and she was still having a hard time coming to terms with losing Bud.
Jenn herself was also still grieving, despite having received universal praise for effectively bullying the helo pilot into uplifting Bud without further delay.
Although she hadn't yet told anyone, she was waking up at 3am most mornings, with the "boom" of the landmine still echoing in her ears. She was beginning to realise that she was going to need help...
She was actually glad that she had been shipped back to CONUS in the aftermath of Bud's fatal misstep in the minefield. This was largely down to the concern expressed by Sturgis, upon taking over as the ship-board JAG. He had been most insistent that she returned to the USA alongside Harm and that she attended Bud's interment.
Growing up in a religious family, Sturgis had received a thorough grounding in the benefits of company, companionship and prayer in the aftermath of a death – especially a sudden and unexpected death in the line of duty. He could see two people who were hurting and – although he had not seen eye-to-eye with Bud - he knew that Harm's position and progress further long the road of grieving would be of great help and comfort to Mrs Roberts and her young son.
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Sunday 9th June 2002:
Home of Harriet (and Bud) Roberts, Rosslyn, Washington DC
The fact that Harriet had purchased a home, so close to Arlington Cemetery, struck Harm as just a conspiracy of the gods…
It was clear that Harriet, in the aftermath of losing Bud, was desperate to keep herself busy. Harm knew that she was an excellent mom to little AJ (the third birthday party in May had been a testament to her organisational skills). Roland and Lydia Simms had spent a lot of time in Rosslyn, supporting their daughter, since the news of Bud's death had broken. They had been truly supportive and had expressed their appreciation of his support to their daughter and grandchild. Harm assured Lydia that - having lost "someone very special" the previous year, he could understand, appreciate and provide support to what Harriet was going through.
What he had NOT expected was her to be *so* open about her emotional state (and her emotional needs) as they had settled onto the sofa after washing up the dishes on the Sunday afternoon.
She was keen to learn from him, given that he was six months ahead of her on the grief path.
"Harm, I know that you and Mac were not married – and you had both had many and varied lovers – but I always felt that there was 'something' special between you two."
He sipped his coffee before he responded.
"Well Harriett, we certainly had something special – a true friendship in every sense. I started off, that day in the Rose Garden in January of 1997, with a hell of a shock because she looked like my dead girlfriend Diane Schonke."
Harriet smiled: "Yes – and she borrowed my spare uniform two years later when you finally pinned down Diane's killer".
He nodded then continued.
"We always had a special friendship – and she supported me in Russia when I was looking for my father. She was a true friend – I guess my best friend - and I never criticised her choice of men. In turn, she came up with some amusingly spiteful nicknames for my girlfriends, but we *always* respected each other's choice of partners..."
He sighed: "...and then she was gone before I could tell her…"
"But?" Harriet's eyebrow raised questioningly and she looked straight at him. "Why did you two never…?"
"Ah, Harriett; the unanswered question." He sipped his coffee again as he gathered his thoughts, then placed the mug on the table to the side as he relaxed into the sofa alongside Harriet and began his answer.
"I think that – by irreversibly losing Mac last year – I am now ready to find a wife and commit. The hell of it is that I have never felt *less* like going back 'out there' and starting the hunt again."
He was pleasantly surprised as Harriet kicked off her heels and snuggled up against him, resting her head on his chest and sighing gently as she relaxed.
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He wasn't sure how to respond. Was this grief?
She had been almost inconsolable in Arlington just a few days earlier, but as she looked up into his eyes, he could see that she was calm. Yet this seemed to show a different side of Harriet. Suddenly, he could see the Beaumont lineage shining through. This woman, lying comfortably in his arms, was a recent military widow with the centuries of breeding that came from the "Southern Belles" of previous generations. He thought back to the first meeting with Harriet's parents in Florida, back in early 1998, when Lydia had taken one look at Harm, ignored Bud and assumed that he was Harriet's fiancé just a few months before the wedding.
She smiled, then turned her head upwards and whispered – very gently – "Well Harm, in time (assuming that you can wait) you may not need to go back 'out there' on the hunt for your future wife."
He was startled by what seemed to be her forwardness.
"Harriett, I'm worried that this is your grief showing and I would NEVER wish to take advantage – or even see the slightest hint..."
She shook her head forcefully and her grip on him tightened momentarily. "No Harm, obviously not now. But you have been intrinsically (if not intimately) involved in the Roberts family since before you and I first met. You've guided and mentored and helped Buddy: he always appreciated your support. You guys all got jailed together the night before our wedding and I've lost count of the number of times you have helped out with little AJ. Then you and Mac were brilliant, supportive friends when I lost little Sarah the other year."
She placed a hand on her waist. "I am not certain that I want Little AJ growing up as an only child – and as you know from the Gettis court-case, I wasn't innocent when I married Buddy. Look Harm, the timing right now is all wrong but I am a woman with needs and, maybe next year, I will probably follow your example and think about getting back 'out there' as a single mom, widowed with a four-year-old."
He gently patted her head. Suddenly, he had an epiphany – a clear view of the dilemma which must have faced his mom after Senior had been shot down over Vietnam. Trisha Rabb had faced the future as a military widow with a five-year-old son. He knew that – even though he had taken years to admit the fact – Frank Burnett had made an excellent job of becoming a stepfather to "Little Harm" and a great second husband to Trisha.
The parallels were uncanny – and he suddenly understood what Harriet meant.
He had another flash of "déjà vu" – all the way back, halfway around the world, to a Ferry in Sydney Harbour.
The phrase "not yet" played over and over in his mind. What if he had been clear and unequivocal in his reply to Mac?
Ah shoot, way too late now! He angled his head down and kissed Harriet's forehead.
"Harriet; I agree that anything will take us time. So how about, every Saturday when we are both in DC, we jointly go visit Mac and Bud and then make a day of it to include Little AJ as the centrepiece?"
She looked up and nodded. "Thanks Harm and yes – I would like that very much."
"Beyond that – let's just say 'not yet' – agreed?"
"Agreed – there is no rush and I am sure that something will happen to either give us a nudge to move forward or to agree to back off and just remain the best of friends."
"Oh, I definitely want to remain friends; yes, I like that plan, but let's keep it to ourselves for now."
"Agreed."
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Thursday 24th April 2003: 11:03hrs EDT
Courtroom One, JAG HQ, Falls Church VA
In fact, it took nearly a year and several major incidents before Harm and Harriet were ready to move forward.
Harm had hosted Sergei and had also spent time mentoring, supervising and advising Loren Singer ahead of her posting as shipboard JAG - and picking up the pieces following her return from sea duty once her pregnancy had become obvious later in 2002. He had also tried to help her in early January but she had rebuffed his offers of assistance.
Jenn Coates had been a constant asset in the JAG organisation and had continued to blossom. The time invested in her when he was first assigned to defend a bitter, mouth young Petty Officer had been returned with interest.
The discovery of Loren Singer's badly-decomposed body in April 2003 had set off a shit-storm of trouble for Harm, but eventually his faith in the legal system (aided massively by Tony DiNozzo's investigative nose) had seen him exonerated.
He shook Faith Coleman's hand and turned to leave the courtroom. His gaze fell to the rearmost row of seats and his face cracked into a broad smile.
Sitting quietly at the back of the court, dressed in civilian clothing and ready to take him home, was the woman who had given him strength, drawn strength from him during her grief and recovery and been his emerging support mechanism in recent months.
Harmon David Rabb Jr and Harriet Beaumont Simms-Roberts held each other by the hands, kissed passionately, then stepped out of the courtroom to begin the rest of their lives together. With the court case behind him, Harm was certain that he was ready to move forward. At his side, so was Harriet.
There was no doubt, in either of their minds, that Sarah Mackenzie and Buddy Roberts (along with Harmon Rabb Sr and other spirits) were standing at their shoulders and wishing them well in their future life – together.
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Sunday 14th March 2004, 03:10hrs
Sibley Maternal Foetal Medicine
5255 Loughboro Rd NW, Washington, DC 20016
"Who says second children are easier?"
Following a hard 19-hour labour, Harm and Harriet Rabb welcomed their new daughter, Sarah Beaumont Rabb, into the world just nine months and a week after their wedding day. The new daughter would be a perfect "little sister" for young AJ, just two months before his fifth birthday in May 2004.
Despite Harm's nervousness, AJ was determined to carry his new little sister out of the hospital and into her new life.
Harriet placed a restraining hand on Harm's forearm, holding him back. "My darling Harm, *this* is family – she's already gained one young admirer and the very best possible 'big brother' that she could wish for. I love you so much."
Harm could only agree with his wife's assessment. Life truly went on - and life was good.
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End of Ch00 of "Life goes on".
FIN.
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Mike: UK, 22-12-2023