Format Key:

"I can't believe this." - Dialogue

I can't believe this. - Thoughts

"I can't believe this." - Dialogue in flashback.

Extended Summary:

After a grave mistake, a young boy in the Zelkora Region is exposed to the world of Pokemon, and his life changes forever. Running away from the consequences of his actions, he and his parents move to a new town, where the boy finds a notebook filled with illustrations drawn by his beloved brother who died three years ago. When he finds that one of the illustrations was drawn two years from the day of his death, the boy goes out on a journey to find every Pokemon he found in the notebook in hopes of finding his brother, throwing himself into a supernatural world he can't come back from.

Without further ado, enjoy!

Don't do it.

That was the thought that Castel Danor had as he placed his right foot in front of his left, and it came again as he placed his left in front of his right, his feet squeaking against the floor each time his foot came into contact with the waxed vinyl. Each and every step was like this, every facet of his mind and soul telling him that what he was about to do was wrong. It was unforgivable and irredeemable, a point from which he could never come back. He told himself it wasn't worth it, that there were other ways to deal with the affairs plaguing him. He told himself that once he made this choice, once he acted out everything he planned to, his life would be over. All the work he had done before this point, and all the work he would do after, would become void. He would never get the time nor the chance back, and his life would be over.

At the same time, he never stopped walking.

He scolded and denied himself in his mind, but he never stopped. He never forced himself to turn around, and to find a better way to resolve this whole mess. His mind said, "Don't do it!", but his body said otherwise, and the mind never fought back. It was an empty rejection, its only purpose being so that in hindsight, he could tell himself that he didn't actually want to go through with this, that he didn't truly want this to happen. He did, though, and that's why he kept going. That's why he stopped walking and started running, at full speed and uncaring for the chance that anyone still in the school at this hour would notice him. Once he found himself in the bathroom hall, one side of his face steeped in the shining light coming from the windows, he finally came to a halt, looking intensely at the heavy wooden door leading into the girl's bathroom.

The uncomfortable feeling of the sticky, soaked hoodie on his sweaty body coupled with the hazardous smell emanating off of it made him want to vomit, but it also reminded him of why he was doing this. This time intentionally, he took another whiff of his hoodie, silencing the dissenting thoughts in his head and the anxiety-borne nausea running through his stomach. The last thing it said was, "This is going too far!", and Castel finally agreed. For all they did to him currently, this was too far. They had gone far enough, though, and to make them stop, he had to go farther.

With no nuisance ideas keeping him from doing what needed to be done, Castel placed one hand on the door and opened it slowly. He could feel pins and needles all over his skin, and he was sweating even more than he was before. He continued opening the door at the same rate, never fast nor slower. He was going to do this, and at this point, he had to. Why would he stop when he's already gone too far? He wouldn't.

Fully inside, he turned to his right to see two girls applying makeup in front of the mirrors. His heart skipped a beat when he saw them initially, but calmed down when he recognized them. Had they been any other two girls—people he didn't know—he would have flown out the door and hoped against hope that neither they nor the cameras nor any passersby saw him. His blood began to boil as he clenched his fists, and he couldn't stop himself anymore. His veins began to bulge and his face went red with anger as he prepared to give them what they deserved!

McKenzie Chaltine and Adaline Venero. These were his targets. He would kill them today, in this very bathroom.

They noticed him, and when they did, he started running. Not away, but toward them, his fist already reeled back. The last thing Castel saw before losing himself was McKenzie jumping to Adaline's defense, putting herself in front of her in a vain attempt to protect her.

1: Roaring, Raging Blue

"Aaah! Stop! Stop it!"

Right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, left fist, right fist, right fist right fist right fist right fist right fist right fist right fist-

"STOP!"

It was that death-fearing shriek that finally had Castel Danor come back to his senses, ending his mindless assault. He finally got off of her, panting as he looked at his blood-soaked hands with a mixture of disgust and joy. Adaline was on the floor, sniffling and sobbing, her face bruised and soaked in blood. Her nose didn't look right, and her right eye was blackened and swollen; if not for her involuntary shaking and most recent horrified shout, he might have thought she was already dead.

"C'mon, Adaline. Show me that toothy smile you'd always give your errand boy Castel before you forced him to do everything you "asked" him to." No response. Castel sighed. Right foot.

The boy watched in another strange mixture of excitement and guilt as three teeth shot out from her mouth, clacking against the mirror in a bloody splat before falling onto the face of his other victim. She was still alive, but he had knocked her out in one punch. She wasn't even the one he wanted to go for in the first place, but he knew she wouldn't just let him kill her friend. Did that mean he didn't enjoy every millisecond that his fist remained on her face? Not at all! He hated her for all the same reasons he hated his current victim, and would enjoy her reaction! The first thing she would see after waking up would be her friend's lifeless body!

If he couldn't stop himself, it would have been the last thing she saw, too.

Turning back to the mess on the floor, Castel considered all ranges of options. Would he kill her now, or would he wait for her to come back to her senses, and even give her a false sense of security before taking it all away in an instant? Would he take a picture of her and post it in the group chat she and her clique forced him to join? Considering that idea, would he post it before he killed her and have them all race to the school, only to be too late? All of those options were so appealing, but he'd have to calm himself down first. That was the only hard part, in all of this.

"W-Why…" her blood-choked voice mumbled, a series of coughing ensuing not long after. Her breath was bated and laborious, and she would probably die from suffocation before he had the chance to kill her. The idea of looming over her during her final moments without a word was an attractive plan of action, but he wanted to be the direct and final cause.

"You know why. Did my kick give you amnesia or something?" He responded, grabbing some paper and wetting it. He went to the girl and wiped the crimson out of her face and nose, and then filled his empty water bottle with that of the sink, forcing her to gargle it and spit it out until her throat was mostly clear of her blood.

"All this…over a…hoodie? Over...a hoodie?" Castel stared down at said object; the stain had since gotten darker as it had fully dried. Its odor was even more noxious now that it was coupled disgustingly with sweat, and the boy was readily about to vomit all over her face. He stole himself, keeping his lunch inside his stomach before sighing as he stared down at the girl.

Castel wondered if she thought about those words before she spoke them, or if he went too far and made her stupid. Was she not there for all the days? Did she have a secret evil twin, or have split personalities? The boy just couldn't fathom the idea that multiple weeks had passed, and yet somehow she thought this was all over her most recent offense. What could it be? Was it the case that their "relationship" was so forgettable to her that she could only remember the most recent moments of it? She couldn't recall how she and her boyfriend destroyed the project he had spent a week on that was worth most of his grade, or how she and McKenzie orchestrated a scene that made him the laughingstock of the class for days? The spoiled milk?

Did she not care? Every day was something new, something exotic. Some days were tame, and others were vile; there wasn't any pattern to it at all, but there was always something. He went through those days believing that he had done something to her to make her hate his guts, or that he reminded her of something terrible, or even that she just hated him for no reason. He hated her, but if it was she who hated him first, he could tell himself that his hatred was justified by her own. Yet, was it the case that all this time, he was just a thing of the moment, that she acted on plans as soon as she thought them up, and that not only was there no rhyme, but no reason either? He was a game she could play when she was bored at school, and then completely forget about after?

"Loser, loser, loser! Babe, try the ranch next, the ranch!"

Unbeknownst to the girl, Castel was lost in his mind, unable to hear any words she spoke. Her voice was caught up in her tears and blood, but she still managed to breathe something out despite the pain. "I...I'm sorry...Castel. I'll pay you back...I...I'll leave you alone...it hurts, it hurts. Ugh, it hurts..."

"Stop talking to me, ugly. I'd rather take cyanide than have to hear your voice."

She was too confused and agonized to realize he wasn't listening to her, continuing to speak to the walking, breathing brick wall. "It hurts, Castel! Please...call someone. I feel tired and my head hurts...I can't smell or taste anything and I don't like it...aah...I'm sorry..."

"Answer me, you fucking loser! What makes you think you can tell me to do anything? You're just a waste of space who should go and die, just like your..."

"Please...Castel-"

The blue-haired boy appeared to have fainted with how fast he collapsed to start beating her again. "No! You aren't allowed to call me that, not when you're on the ground at my mercy! You don't have any power anymore! You can't do anything to me anymore! You won't ever be able to do anything to me anymore!" He would kill her today. He would, he would! If for nothing else but the vow he just made, he had to do it today! Only one person would leave this bathroom alive!

"How many teeth did you have when you woke up today; how about now?" He bore his teeth in a maniacal smile, saliva dripping down his mouth and panting breaths escaping his lungs. "Well! How hard was it to breathe when you got to school; how about now? Hey! Did your mouth taste of blood during breakfast, or of iron during lunch; what do you say now? Answer me, you fucker!"

Castel caught himself, clenching his face in agony as he bent back and tried to control his breathing. He was shaking, moving one hand to hug himself and leaving the other to grip his face so hard he might have bruised his skin.

Disgust. "Eww! Don't even put me and that weirdo's names in the same sentence!"

Aversion. "Oh my god, I just bumped into him and I think I'm gonna hurl!"

Hatred. "I think I might have to switch classes. Being in the same room as him makes me want to kill myself!"

Laughter. "Why is he trying to pretend like he doesn't feel it? Throw another one, babe!"

Ego. "McKenzie, I think it smiled at me. If it likes me I might actually quit school."

Mockery. "His brother? LOL! That's so pathetic..."

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Right foot! Right foot! Right foot! Right foot! Right foot! "Stop speaking! Stop moving! Stop breathing!"

It was only when he heard the cracking of a wall instead of that of bone that Castel paid attention to the real world again. Adaline Venero was gone, and the thing he had been kicking ruthlessly until it shattered was the stall wall. His shoes were busted, and he could tell his toes were bleeding by the blood leaking out of his torn sneakers. When he looked to his left, McKenzie was also gone, but not from the room. Unfortunately for them, the sound of a body being dragged alerted Castel to their presence, ones which were still in the restroom.

Adaline was digging through McKenzie's bag, searching vigorously.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! There has to be something–"

"No! You won't escape! You won't!"

He started running towards her, as fast as he could. Just as he reached her, her free hand wrapped around some object, and he saw her thumb press some sort of button, not that he could see or pay attention to what was pressed, though. All he knew was that as soon as she pressed it, a great light blasted into his stomach, and the next time he opened his eyes, the girl was much farther away. In front of her was a beast, a creature. Its black and grey fur was well-kempt, but its fiery orange eyes were sharp and ready, and its growl was experienced, surely having been practiced many times on other foes before. Its claws were jagged and long, used to cut down anything that threatened it or its trainer.

Face to face with the Bite Pokemon, Mightyena, Castel stopped. The world zoomed out, or more specifically, Castel was sent out of the world, observing like a spectator. Darkness blocked out every inch of the tiling and the walls until the only visible beings were the Pokemon and the boy. In the split seconds of astral projection, the feeling of bile rising in his throat overtook him and he saw his own body shake. It took more than everything for him to keep it from jet-shooting out of his mouth in a throat-burning, reeking waterfall. At some point, he saw Adaline's mouth move, but his ears were failing, and his mind was too focused on the creature to do any sort of lip-reading.

Her mouth stopped moving, and before Castel could even begin to figure out why, she sent out her hand, and with it the mighty beast lunged forward, its fangs bared and claws outstretched. It was at this moment that Castel regretted. Unfortunately, he did not regret his attempt at murder, but rather the fact that he, in his unfamiliarity with Pokemon, had forgotten just how common they were in modern society. The distance was closing—he could feel Mightyena's steaming, rank breath—but was stunned by its piercing red eyes. He had fear on the brain. He couldn't think.

Ultimately, the fangs of the dark dog never reached their target. Castel, not because he had overcome his fear, but because it had full control over him, made a mad dash for his backpack, reaching his hand toward the zipper. As he reached it, though, he felt flame rip through his body from his leg. Searing heat streamed through every crevice of his being, and the pain immobilized him for an uncountable number of moments. When Castel came to, all he knew was that the Pokemon's teeth were still sunk into his leg, but not with so much force as to tear through it. Mightyena didn't make any motions after its first attack, merely keeping Castel still.

This was the second worst decision Adaline made during this encounter. The first was not running away the moment Mightyena had sent Castel flying into the wall with its release, or after it had bitten his leg and mostly paralyzed him. A bite of mercy wasn't enough to stop the bloodthirsty boy, so as long as his target was within his sights. He couldn't think, but she should've known by his most recent evasion that his body could still act. A bite from a part-fire type would make most people black out, especially a child.

Except, the boy had already blacked out, so it did nothing. No, it only made Castel's body move faster. With devilish speeds he opened his backpack, tearing the zipper off at the last second and toppling his bag onto the restroom floor. An assortment of items spilled out, but a sharp glint told him where victory was. With every bit of strength, he kicked the Pokemon away from him, stumbling to the sharpened metal ruler with blood rolling down the holes in his leg, picking it up and brandishing it while doing everything he could to stay on his two feet.

"This is why! This is why! This is why I have to kill you! Don't you see! Once I start I can't stop! Once I begin I must finish! If I don't, I'll end up dead!"

"Don't make this my fault! You're the one–"

With a roaring shriek, Castel rushed for the girl, his ears long since turned off by the adrenaline pumping through his veins. All he had were his eyes and his thoughts. His thoughts told him to kill, and his eyes gave him the target! With those, he had all he needed to do what needed to be done!

An ungodly shriek tore through the bathroom, sending all parties to the floor with drum-mincing soundwaves. The Mightyena was especially affected, being knocked unconscious almost instantaneously as it was forcefully put back into its Pokeball in a coalescence of white light. Over the speakers, a robotic voice cried:

"UNAUTHORIZED USAGE OF POKEMON DETECTED! UNAUTHORIZED USAGE OF POKEMON DETECTED! LOCATION: FEMALE LAVATORY OF THE SECOND FLOOR! REPEATING…"

Castel couldn't. He couldn't breathe or see or hear or taste or smell or touch. He lost his balance, and he couldn't tell where he was or why he was. The sound was so loud and somehow so quiet. A ringing so high-pitched that it was almost inaudible. All he could do was think, and he could barely think. Soon, it was too much, and his body succumbed, the world fading to darkness darker than the back of his eyelids.

"Brother…it hurts...it's cold…"

"...yes…is a minor…ID…"

Castel didn't know the word that described the ability to hear as blurriness described one's ability to see—or lack thereof—but that was the word he would use to describe the muffled sounds entering his recently jumpstarted ears. As his ears came back to life, so did his eyes and his fingers. Instinctively he tried to move, but he felt a brace around his wrist that prevented any such idea from coming to fruition.

When he looked up, he saw bodies that took him a while to recognize; they were his parents, and they were talking with an officer.

"I assure you, officer, that my son is a minor. He goes to this school as a student!" His dad said. It wasn't defensive, but matter-of-fact, though with a hint of frustration, as if he's had to repeat it a billion times.

"Alright then," The officer said, noting it down on his pad. "If that's the case, then under the law, I can't arrest him. However, he will lose all access to privileges to any type of license and will not be allowed to open a bank account unless he serves some form of punishment. Store owners and managers can choose not to allow him to buy at their stores, and, if he is a student, he is likely to be expelled."

"Ugh! I am aware of the law, officer!"

"Just a matter of procedure, sir. Now, I believe that is all. I would say have a good day, but you're probably going to get a lawsuit filed against you. Here's my number, for when you're homeless after getting sued to the underworld."

The next thing Castel felt was a presence looming over him. Hands reached around his wrists, and after some shaking, the restrictive feeling around his hands dissipated. He felt its remnants, but he could tell it wasn't there anymore.

After that, he saw his parents turn to him, his father holding his head in his hands in shame and his mother looking at him as if she was about to kill him at this very moment.

"Get in the car, Castel! You will not speak, talk, or do anything other than sit your ass and put on your seatbelt! It's taking all the love I have for you to not beat you in broad daylight!"

He did as told, getting into the car silently. He had an idea of what went on, now that he could think properly. The UPU (Unauthorized Pokemon Usage) alarm sounded, and staff went into the girl's bathroom to find two girls with blood on their clothes and face and a boy with a ruler sharper than a knife in his hand. For many, there was only one way to interpret such a situation. Had he not only been 12 years old, he'd probably be charged with attempted murder, among other crimes.

But to that end, what is a "crime"? For all he was told, a crime was a bad thing. A bad action, something unlawful. To follow the law was due diligence, a "justice", and to break the law, especially intentionally, was an "injustice". Why, then, was he being punished for trying to bring justice?! Why, then, was he being pierced with glares like daggers, or treated like a criminal, for doing what was right?! For all he was told, justice was to do good, and one way to do good was to correct evil. So why! Why am I the one in the wrong when…when…

"...She started it. Why am I the one in the wrong when she started it!"

"Did I or did I not specifically tell you to not speak?!"

"But this isn't fair! She did something wrong, she did something bad! All I did was give her a taste of her own medicine! Are judges in the wrong when they sentence murderers!"

"Castel! We will not talk about this! You almost killed someone!"

"She started it!"

"Y'almost killed someone, Castel! You nearly killed someone!" His father finally yelled, turning to Castel with fury in his eyes. "I don't think I have to say it a third time, but maybe I should get it through your head! When a murderer is sentenced to life in prison, it's the worst punishment they can give. However, is that wrong? The murderer has taken a life, a great and irreversible evil, that will ripple throughout the lives of the victims decades after. It's only fair!

He paused for a second, calming himself down before speaking again. Castel's mother was driving through a particularly difficult road, and while still angry, his father didn't want to distract her with his volume. "You almost became a murderer. You almost committed that irreversible evil!"

"But she–"

"I DON'T…I don't care what she did, Castel! Are you still here? Is breath still in your lungs, life still in your eyes? Are you not moving, son?! We're having a conversation! Are you not listening to the words coming out of my mouth, and using your mouth to spout ridiculousness at me? I don't care if she made fun of you in the class, ruined your clothes, or ripped up a project it took you 6 hours to finish! You're 12, Castel, 12! A 12-year-old did something you didn't like! You can report her to the teacher or make fun of her back! You can wash your clothes in the machine! You can spare another 6 hours! You're not dead, so nothing she could do to you can be permanent as long as you don't allow it to be!"

His father's rant ended as the car approached a stop sign. As Castel registered the words, he heard a homeless man yelling. He looked to his left, seeing the entrance to a forest that served as a popular tourist attraction in the winter. However, with July in full swing, it was as empty of humans as most forests in industrialized society. The homeless man was positioned in front of it, with a sign with words on it; he couldn't read it because the man kept moving.

At some point, he heard his father going down a pessimistic slippery slope, eventually concluding that they'd all die of hypothermia by the middle of November before having their corpses torn apart by the Pokemon in the forest.

The boy mulled over the conversation, or rather the one-sided admonishing he had received from his father. He ran over it in his head, trying to find something his father said that was wrong. Anything, no matter how trivial. If he could find even something tiny, he could use it as a base for his attempt at convincing his father. What the boy had failed to realize during this time was that he was not trying to convince his father anymore. Rather, he was trying to convince himself. So, he continued mulling, until he eventually stopped at the word "killing".

It was wrong to kill. It was wrong to cause another to die, even if they had not done anything worthy of it. But she did! She did do something worthy of it! This is what Castel thought as he ran over this idea. Who were his father, his school, the police, or the law, to tell him what actions he should and shouldn't find deserving of death? Was it not he, the victim, who suffered because of her for two months? In the first place, who was she that she didn't deserve to die for doing anything at all? Was she special? Was she some moral paragon? Did she influence the world?

Then the annoying thoughts returned, saying, She has a family, like you. A group of people who love her, and want to see her every day for as many days as they can.

Castel scoffed, mentally, but stayed silent as he wasn't able to combat this line of thinking. She had a family, like he did. She had friends, like he did. He had people who loved her, like he did. Who was he to take her away from all of that? She was someone's daughter, someone's cousin, someone's niece, someone's older sibling, or even someone's…younger sibling…

"...please…stop! I…help me…why...brother!"

One-sided torture…

She was someone who made life worse for others for nothing more than her freakish enjoyment, for nothing more than to satisfy a whim! She did it for nothing more than to alleviate her boredom! He was someone's son, he was someone's cousin, he was someone's nephew, he was…. Who was she to make him not want the next day to come for two months? She was someone who, like him, had people who cared for her. She was, like him, a human being! And yet, she was the one who decided that her existence was the superior one and that she had the right to treat him like a pest who deserved to be trampled under her foot! She did deserve to die! She deserved it more than he deserved to be viciously harassed, and treated like a toddler's toy! She did! She did! She did, she did she did she did she did she did she did!

**CLICK**

"Hm? What was…CASTEL! WHAT'RE YOU DOING, GET BACK INSIDE!"

"Huh? HUH?! HAS THAT BOY HAS LOST HIS DAMN MIND–Matthew, no! Do not leave the car, it is too dangerous!"

He ran. He had never run this fast in his life, and he doubted that he could ever run so fast again. He couldn't even see in front of him, but Castel didn't know if that was from the speed or because he was so unfocused that his eyes had stopped working. He ran until he was out of the intersection, avoiding the multi-ton metal bullets driving through the road, having to swerve out of the way or stop to not crush him or send him flying. He ran until he was within arm's reach of the homeless man, who finally stopped moving to look at the kid flying through like a madman's child. He ran until he was in the forest, deep in the forest, so deep that nobody who was still on the road would have been able to see or hear him if they stood at the entrance.

Then his foot met rock, and he was sent flying into a creek of water, only being able to hang on and position his back to the edge of the creek to not be swept away. His mind was racing, his lungs and heart were on overdrive, and if he had any sense, he might have found out that most of his toes were broken, not to mention his nose damaged from taking the brunt of the face-first impact into the water. He was in pain in every way, and he was confused. His brain tried to manage everything and keep him awake, but it had its limits. It hadn't been long since he had last passed out, and it was evident that he was too out of it to prevent another case of unconsciousness.

With the last of the fight in him having no effect, Castel Danor's eyes closed, and he fell asleep within Estrotoa Forest.

That's Chapter One!

PS: I have a bigger Pokemon project that I want to write, but I don't want my potential lack of ability to undermine a story that I think has a lot of potential, so the goal of this story is to test the waters that are my skills. Each review, even destructive, on this story, will be very, very helpful, so please make sure to do that if you find any problems with my writing. Peace.

TO BE CONTINUED